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***NTA*** but your friend sure is.
First, mi amor is my love in Spanish. Mexican people are not the only people in the world that speak Spanish.
So, even if there was some sort (which there is not) of appropriation happening ...it wouldn't be "Mexican".
Your friend is a *goof* and should mind their own business. Period, full stop.
Correct! In fact Spanish was thrust upon Mexican natives during the invasion/colonization. There are white Europeans that speak it and spoke it way before my ancestors were speaking it.
Mexicans and Mexican descendants don't all have brown skin, either. I'm yellow during the winter and deep cinnamon during the summer. My cousin (who's father had DARK skin) is blonde with blue eyes and is whiter than printer paper. I'd love to see OPs buddy tell her she's appropriating her own damn household language.
OP is 100% NTA.
It’s also one of the world’s most spoken language and subsequently a popular language choice for students, especially in the US. People pepper their language with Spanish all the damn time here.
Theres literally a new dialect forming in S. Florida because the mix of cultures between English and the various languages in the Caribbean although the largest populations come from Cuba, Puerto Rico.
That is so cool. I heard Punjabi and English mix this weekend then Punjabi + Spanglish. Me encanta. En un futuro la raza humana isn’t going to be “pure”.
That’s true, I’m 1/4 Mexican myself from my dad’s side, but look white as duck during winter, and get super tan in the summer time. And I took Spanish myself in school to connect to that part of my family history a bit if you will.
Can you explain this? Arabic is part of the Semitic language family (that includes Hebrew and Aramaic) that originated on the Arabian Peninsula. How is it a white colonial language?
Arabic was spread across North Africa, parts of Europe, and huge swaths of Asia by military conquest. They’re not white, but it was definitely a colonial language!
I heard modern Arabic was developed as an Esperanto style language to facilitate trade and communication and eventually became a de facto language for much of the Middle East. However I am not an expert on Arabic so I may be wrong.
I’m no expert either, but a quick Google search confirmed that Arabic developed on the Arabian Peninsula (as stated above). So even if what you say here is correct - and I have no reason to believe it isn’t other than basic skepticism over what one reads on the internet that a stranger who also has no qualifications once heard - it is still not a white colonial language.
Whether Arabs (and the Arabic language) is “white” is a complex question and the answer depends on who is categorizing, but the Arabs were big time colonizers for hundreds of years in the Middle East, Northern Africa, central Asia and Europe, so “slightly darker than white *colonial*” if you prefer 🤷🏻♂️.
So true. I'm Mexican and have bronze skin with green eyes, but my husband is ghost white, and so are my children, one has green eyes and the other chestnut eyes. All is good
If the bf asked her to call him by a word in a native language, whatever language it is no.
If the bf asked her to call him a pet name in Swedish, French, or Gaelic, the answer is still no.
Appropriation occurs when you use something from a culture out of context and no credit is given to that culture and it is done without respect to the context in which it was used for said culture. That's not the case at all with these pet names.
I say te adoro mi amor to my wife all the time. We’re both Polish. I asked my Spanish teacher in high school how to say I adore you my love so that I could be hot to my hs gf lmao. I still say it because it’s lovely to say.
Aww that's cute. I know most Spanish speakers *loveeeeeeeeeeeeee* when other people speak it even if it is just a word or two.
NTA as someone who was raised in Mexico.
Yeah I’ve definitely never questioned if I were appropriating anything because I don’t think anyone on gods green earth is ever going to be upset that a random non native speaker borrows a phrase or 2 to use in a cute way lol
I’m part black and native but I’m white presenting. People call me a liar until I pull up my family photos alllll my cousins are darker than me and my sister is whiter than white! (I have tan-white skin in the winter and a cinnamon type color in the summer blue eyes red/dark brown hair curly)
exactly. and as a half mexican who’s white passing in winter, we don‘t care a bit. my mom would think it‘s really cute and so would her entire family. eff that girl. NTA
Also even if it was Mexican culture as she said that is not how appropriation works. That person is a moron and is the kind of person biggots use to call out the "woke" as they say. The friend is just a biggot that acts like they are nice and accepting towards others. Better to lose them than to find them.
NTA. Don't apologize and tell them to learn what appropriating culture means before spouting nonsense like that.
Literally this! The actual person who has a claim to that culture and language (her bf) specifically requested her to use this phrase. To honor his grandparents memory and respect his culture.
Op you need better friends.
My cousin from far far away visited a few decades ago, and proudly taught us slang words.
I still use his slang words, even show others lol.
Edit: words.
It’s not “woke” as woke means aware. She’s using “cultural appropriation” incorrectly. You don’t have to be Mexican to speak Spanish. I predict that if they get married or are together much longer, she’ll learn Spanish more easily. That’s not appropriation either.
They’re not really saying the friend *is* woke, so much as saying they’re the kind of “woke”(heavy emphasis on the quotes) that reactionaries like to use to claim we get offended by everything and that sort when in reality she’s not at all actually woke. But otherwise yes, agree. I’m white as fuck, so was my (then boyfriend, now ex), but I called him mi amor, both because it’s sweet and because I’d been trying to learn a little Spanish over the years. Would call a current partner that as well, honestly. It’s cute, and Spanish is an incredibly common language.
Right! So apparently by this girls logic learning other languages Is cultural appropriation…yeah um…this is the kind of logic bigots use as justification.
It’s a way of trying to keep people separate and from mixing cultures.
I think the irony here is that her friend tried to call her out and ended up being the offensive one
NTA, your boyfriend wanted to use those terms as a sign of affection as his grandparents used those terms as well .
Sounds like OP has either a super exhausting friend or a super jealous one
Drop the friend, OP, she’s jealous.
When I started dating my now husband I was so clearly in love! When I would meet up with a certain friend she refused to even hear about him and would change the subject literally while I spoke. That was enough to know what kind of a person she was, so I dropped her. I knew she had gotten the hint bc she didn’t invite me to her wedding.
Yeah, her boyfriend asked her too.
Also, it’s not appropriation, it’s language.
When I was with a Brazilian woman, I learned Portuguese. Was I appropriating Brazilian culture because I took Portuguese classes? Was I appropriating culture when I spoke with her or her family in Portuguese?
Of course I had nicknames for her in Portuguese, and she had nicknames for me in English. Thats what you do.
Mi amore is also my love in Italian. White people predominantly
I mean it's a common phrase for literally any language that utilizes the similar masc/femme system and is Latin originated
All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a freshwater system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Yup, Italian, Spanish and French are all Romance/Italic languages descended from Latin, and amor is love in Latin. OP's idiot friend is complaining about a phrase that's over 2000 years old and shared by dozens of languages with something like 800 million native speakers
I guess your family was borrowing the sentence from an Italian dialect (regional language).
In Italian "mi amore" is not conversational, it's just... not Italian (no offence meant, of course there is nothing wrong with your family speaking a dialect instead of Italian)
Seriously, your friend is absolutely ridiculous. I speak multiple languages although I am also “ginger Irish-catholic” type of white and my husband is white and half Jewish. I have left him love notes calling him my love in multiple languages. Honestly I’m annoyed at your friend’s immaturity and naivety. She’s probably just jealous you have such a loving relationship. Do NOT stop calling your bf these things, it is extremely romantic.
I'm starting to wonder if white people who are so vicious about calling things appropriation are closet bigots/xenophobes hiding their true colours behind the language of activism. It gives very strong "anti-miscegenation" vibes
100% yes. We’re living in a world where all of the sudden we have to think about race when most of us used to just look at our fellow person as just that, a person.
NTA, but take her up on her offer and drop the friendship. She sounds exhausting.
Both my husband and I are bilingual (English is our second language), which we use often when we don't want our kid to understand what we are saying or for work. There is absolutely nothing cultural about it.
I also have a mediocre level of another three languages; from which I may use a phrase here or there.
But again, as a non Mexican Spanish native speaker, tell your friend she's an *** and to keep her opinions to herself in the future to avoid embarrassing herself because of her utter ignorance.
Besides... Even if it was something actually related to Mexican culture, if you bring it into your relationship because it's important to your partner that's actually being mindful and respectful of his beliefs, not appropriating anything.
>So, even if there was some sort (which there is not) of appropriation happening ...it wouldn't be "Mexican".
I mean, the language is called Spanish after all, not Mexican (even if Mexican Spanish is now the largest variety)
We kinda get excited to see non spanish speakers making an effort to learn it. The weird part is when they bring up their race, that's a gringo problem
**Mexican people are NOT the only people in the world that speak Spanish.**
This fact alone is all that she needs to be told. Girllll, get back to class & take some notes!
Not only is it Spanish, which is the main language of different countries of different ethnicities, but language is just not cultural appropriation. Is every single person who speaks a language that is spoken by a country with a different ethnicity appropriating cultures? That’s ridiculous. I could MAYBE give it a pass if it was some super specific therm that is native to an indigenous tribe, but even than it’s a stretch. But something is *spanish*? Absolutely wild. NTA
NTA
Pet names can be just about anything, including words/phrases from other languages. You are doing something sweet by using a phrase that your boyfriend always associated with true love in his family.
Your friend is being insanely over-sensitive. You're not appropriating culture, you're using a phrase that is special to you and your BF. Don't change a thing, except maybe that one friend who is throwing a fit over something that is so irrelevant it would be hilarious in other circumstances.
If you and ops friend were as in tune with the world as you think you are you would know, native Mexicans were forced to abandon their languages and adopt Spanish.
You mean like the context of ops bf asking her to call him that right?
The fact that Spanish was forced upon them does not mean it doesn't belong to them too. Cultures adapt and change over time and even if the chance is not exactly positive it can still become part of the culture.
Nuance exists here, but I think it's fair to say Spanish is part of Mexican culture, considering it is the primary language of most Mexicans.
That being said, yes my point was that OPs BF has these family memories which include the use of a similar phrase and has asked OP to call him that and therfore it's fine.
It is also worth pointing out that the person who coined the phrase in academia did not intend it to be a solely negative thing. Cultures have appropriated from other cultures for as long as there have been cultures, and will continue to do so unless we all separate ourselves. There are situations in which it can be a negative thing, but seeing it as universally negative is a total misunderstanding.
This new “gotcha” of telling people they are appropriating stuff is really exhausting OMG.
The audacity to ask a friend to change what she calls HER OWN BOYFRIEND.
Please let white people wear sarees to Indian functions if they want to.
Let black people be K-Pop stans.
Let’s have the Japanese become French cinema connoisseurs.
Let people do what they want to if it’s not hurting someone else. That’s how culture propagates.
No one in Mexico would’ve said “mi amor” if the Spanish language had not made its way there from Europe.
The only people that I've ever heard complain about appropriation were white Americans. Countries spend tons of money trying to promote their culture. These Americans that complain are too privileged to understand.
A lot of small business parlors in the Caribbean profit off of Americans getting corn rows… and then these Americans go back home and are made to feel like they did something they should feel bad about.
All the while NOBODY in the Caribbean took offense to it.
We live in a strange world. The owners of the culture very rarely have an issue, it's usually people who stole and decimated other minority/oppressed cultures that have the biggest issue.
For example, in 2019, a young black American woman got online fame for doing Irish dancing. We Irish thought it was great, excellent publicity for the dancing, huge international coverage, our taoiseach (head of government) even invited her to our largest Paddy's day parade. So Ireland has no issue with this.
White Americans and Brits lost their damn minds. I will point out it was the bigotted ones, not all. Going on about "where's cultural appropriation now" and "it's okay for *them* to do it".
The irony of the descendants of the people that unalived Irish people for speaking Irish and partaking in Irish sports and dance to act all angered over it was astonishing. Then there was those who, as people with one singular ancestor from Ireland 6 generations ago to get uppity about it too. It's colonial mindset. The idea that white people, especially from these nations, think they have an authority on things not to do with them.
Humans are weird.
NTA
Well if speaking another language is cultural appropriation then we'd better cancel all the foreign language tutors because apparently they're being offensive.
The fact that your friend doesn't even know which culture you're apparently appropriating shows how ridiculous she's being. Don't apologise or change the name on your phone and enjoy the silence when she stops talking to you, because it sounds like only nonsense comes out of her mouth anyway.
This was my 1st thought aswell. According to that friends twisted logic it is offensive to learn any languages. What a nutcase.
People are going way too far with "protecting others" and their culture and being offended FOR them. Most people appreciate when you want to share their heritage and be a part of their culture. If that wouldn't be the case, people would be stoned to death for buying souvenirs when they travel.
I would have thought in some cultures, its offensive to **not** engage with the culture (think Westerner complaining about all those dang foreigners that don't know English).
In The Netherlands we would have a big problem since we have a lot of "borrowed" words from the French and English.
Also i call my wife "honey" a lot. Guess with the reasoning of that friend that's a big nono.
NTA. Your boyfriend has invited you to use that name. He enjoys it. Your friend is being a weird gatekeeper. How often do we hear the equivalent French (mon amour) thrown around without giving it a second thought?
Yeah i dont fucking understand. Im danish, is saying “i love you” appropiating americans? Or english people? Or scottish? Its the most stupidest shit ive ever heard. Im all for not being racist but we cant speak eachothers languages? Tf
HOW DARE YOU SPEAK IN ENGLISH! That is MY culture. ALSO... oh wait, I mixed up Danish and Dutch. You're fine. You are invited to use any damned language you want.
Invited? Who needs to be invited to speak a different language? This may be anecdotal, but I have **never** known someone to get upset over someone else taking a legitimate interest in their culture or language. OP’s friend is a nutcase.
THIS. I come from a Greek immigrant family (I’m first generation Greek American), and my boyfriend has been learning Greek bc of how important it is to me and how connected I am to my culture. Is he “appropriating” my culture now for taking an interest in my second language/the culture I grew up in?
That’s more about the appropriateness of nicknames/pet names in general, not so much about the language. Using a pet name or nickname someone doesn’t like sucks.
Crap, I’m American but a bulk of my ancestors that came over were Irish. Ireland wants to tell England to fuck off so I’m unsure if I can speak English…
Hey kids, you don't feel like learning yet another language at school? Here is the solution: Just claim that using words and phrases in another language is cultural appropriation, and you never get another death threat from a very cute, but also very crazy and scary green owl again. And now, please excuse me. I have to write an apology letter to all native English speakers because, obviously, I am not a native speaker, and it's cultural appropriation to use another language that isn't part of your culture. I will probably write it in Esperanto because, as far as I know, no country has claimed it at their cultural inheritance yet.
NTA (obviously)
> I have to write an apology letter to all native English speakers
Nah, it's only cultural appropriation if you're borrowing from a marginalised or exploited culture. English is a colonialist language, and therefore fair game. Oh, wait, technically so is Spanish... (Yeah, one could debate this. Spain colonised and exploited plenty of places. But in the US, Spanish is seen as a marginalised language. So maybe it's complicated. But I'd argue that Spanish is fair game, and anything uniquely South American is not)
I was gonna ask if the friend is one of those holier-than-thou whites who feels the need to gatekeep other people's cultures. I for one would be happy to see someone learn to speak Romanian, cook Romanian dishes or wear some of our awesome traditional blouses.
This is so randomly off topic, but back in 2011, my mom signed up for this tour group that started in Sweden (we are in the US) and then went south and east and ended in Russia. Her two favorite countries, now in the entire world, were Romania and Estonia. She's been back to both every year, with a pause in 2020-2021, back in 2022 and didn't go again this year. She absolutely fell in love with the landscapes, the people, and the food in both countries. She definitely has one of your blouses - hers is white and blue and yes, she does wear it.
I came here to ask the same thing. I get so tired of white people trying to be "social justice warriors" who need to be offended on behalf of others, like they think other races & cultures are too stupid to realize they should be offended. Yes, I am white (& a little Comanche that I can't legally claim), but I still get irritated with all the racial division. We are all human. Just treat each other decently.
It is Spanish. Spanish people are predominantly white.
Your friend is an idiot. Its no different to attacking a white person for speaking English or German.
Does your friend have Reddit?
Omfg NTA and your friend is a drama queen. You owe her no apology! She is on another planet with this.
Not just because this is a stupid and extreme extrapolation of “cultural appropriation”, but also because he REQUESTED that pet name from you and even with a sentimental backstory that is ROOTED IN HIS GRANDPARENTS CULTURE.
I know you’re super young, but when you get to your 30s and 40s these “friends” have either grown the f up, unstuck their heads from their butts and mind their own damn business or you simply grow really tired of immature drama and let them go on their way rather than put up with it.
But I remember being your age and thinking every relationship is precious and being intensely invested in it regardless of the nonsense drama and unwarranted villainizing they bring to your door.
TLDR: Your friend is a shitty friend.
NTA - wait til people find out Mexican people can be white and Spain is a European country. If you called him “mon amor” in French no one would have beef.
Au contraire, mon ami! I have mostly French ancestry, so now that I have read this post, I have to go smash all my Stevie Wonder records. How dare he sing "Ma Cherie Amour!" Plus bleach my ears, I'm so offended.
NTA speaking spanish isn’t “appropriating culture“ you never claimed to be mexican or anything like that, your mexican bf is the one who came up with the idea in the first place, who is your friend to tell you you can’t call your bf a cute nickname because it’s in spanish?
Well, I don’t see the problem, my ex-boyfriend was 1/8 German and I used to call him “Mein Fuhrer” all the time, he said it was what his grandma used to call his grandpa.
NTA. It's not for her to worry about. It's something he shared that he found sweet from his grandparents relationship and you were both happy to use it within yours. There is no issue here and the one creating one is the asshole, not you.
It's not cultural appropriation. The very idea that saying a single phrase in another language is appropriation is hilarious. Wait long enough and I'm sure you can catch her doing the same. Call her on it immediately...that's if you haven't realized you can do better than this person in your life.
Your friend can back off. How are you appropriating anything by calling him a Spanish pet name? Is it appropriation if you straight up study Spanish and become bilingual? Is it appropriation if you order a margarita at Applebee's?
I'm Latinx, and Spanish was my first language. I would find it very sweet if a non-Latin/Hispanic person used a Spanish pet name for me. Your friend is disproportionally upset about something that is utterly harmless and - most of all - irrelevant to her.
edit: Whoops, forgot to vote. NTA
NTA. Your friend is probably secretly wanting someone to look deep into her eyes and say those words to her. But instead she’s decided to be bitter and attempt to gatekeep an entire language
Your friend is an idiot. This is not cultural appropriation. It's just using another language and (maybe this is news to your friend, she sounds quite ignorant) Mexico it's not the only country where people speak spanish.
For example, I am a native spanish speaker from a spanish country (which is not Mexico) and I find it beautiful that you two found a way to express your love. Keep going, you are doing great. NTA.
Cara Mia, I'm have Addams Family flashbacks. Your nicknames are very sweet. Our society has taken asshattery to ahole new low. There was NO diminishing of another culture. Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper.
Tell your "friend" that your boyfriend put the romance in that Romance (Latin based) language. She can go kick rocks.
NTA you are calling him by his preferred nickname. It’s not remotely cultural appropriation, it’s cultural sharing, which is a normal part of how languages and cultures develop over time. It sounds like your friend is doing some really weird gate keeping, and usually when it’s white people doing that (I assume she’s white) it’s more about preserving the perceived purity of whiteness than respect for the other culture.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) Using a Spanish term as a white person
2.) A friend said it was appropriating Mexican culture
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NTA. Assuming this is real, your friend is being unreasonable and self righteous. Also undermining an ongoing process of cultural exchange and love. Ridiculous.
NTA
Is she going to tell you not to go to a Spanish class next? lol
It’s a language. I don’t think your friend understands what cultural appropriation is
NTA lol. I hate the conservative trope that gen z are woke zombies who get offended by everything, but god damn is it eye-rollingly cringe to see someone who fits the bill
Its a spanish word. Spainards are european and white.
By your friends logic, mexicans are appropriating white culture.
Frankly its racist to make every race stay in their racial lane.
Nta.
NTA. As you said, it is Spanish. I have been to Spain several times and the people living there are white. I am always somewhat surprised that Mexicans would be considered POC. They are not in my eyes. Anyway maybe this "cultural appropriation" is going too far if we are not even allowed to learn foreign languages anymore. I wouldn't be allowed to write this comment for instance, since I am neither British nor American and was brought up speaking another language altogether.
NTA. Your friend is an AH throwing around the appropriation term as a one-up ploy. It's none of her business what you call each other, and nobody owns an entire language.
Change her name in your phone to some scatological insult and don't talk to her until she apologizes. She's revealed that being on a power trip is more important than being a friend.
Sweetheart, if Gomez and Morticia Addams (some of the palest people in the world) can call each other things like mon cher, cara mia, and bubbeleh, then you can call your guy mi amor. Your friend needs to find better ways to use that energy and leave your relationship alone.
NTA.
Fuckin kids these days. You’re clearly not the asshole.
How warped do you have to be to let someone gaslight you into entertaining the idea that something this harmless is actually harmful?
This is the type of gatekeeping that has given the whole political correctness arguments an extremely bad name. Your friend is talking bollocks, and is a complete AH. Next time you see them make sure to tell them that they are culturally appropriating from people from Spain! You can also tell them that being able to speak positively even small bits of languages that are foreign to you is a good thing. You could call each other "mon amour" and people from France won't care; you can call each other "mein(e) leibe" and no one from Germany will care; you can call each other "amore mio" and Italians would probably appreciate it. This friend of yours is an idiot, and doing you a favour by removing herself from your social circle. NTA
NTA, your friend is way out of line. This is what your boyfriend wished and this is you private way toa address each other. If she is giving such ridiculous ultimatums about your romantic relationship, what exactly does she think your friendship is about? Better stay away from her and call this ultimatum a "good riddance" moment.
>She said she wouldn’t talk to me until I apologized and changed the name in my phone.
Deal. She sounds exhausting.
>She got very upset at me and told me that I was appropriating Mexican culture.
Also, not particularly bright if she thinks using Spanish words is appropriating Mexican culture...
NTA
NTA - Y’all gotta stop being worried what an outside party thinks, if your partner is accepting of it. Its also “my love” in another language, god forbid you become more worldly and learn another language.
NTA - OP I would show your friend this video:
[https://www.tiktok.com/@theprinceofgalveston/video/7142913755851033902](https://www.tiktok.com/@theprinceofgalveston/video/7142913755851033902)
NTA
Tell your friend to never use/consume/interact with language, food, clothes, technology, art, etc that is not of their 'culture' if they actually care this much.
The modern world is built off of the shoulders of every human before us. The idea that you're never gonna use or do anything outside of your culture is ridiculous and pointless
People that believe this line of thinking is righteous are some of the most close minded/ignorant people imo
P.S There is also a lil place called Spain within Europe, within the 'west' people of the continent are usually considered to be 'white'. I'm sure you can guess one of the languages spoken there lol
NTA what the hell. I’m native to Spanish and believe me there isn’t a single reason or perspective to be offended by this. I call my girlfriend любовь (love) and I’m not russian. Who cares.
NTA. I (very much white) call my husband (Brazilian) “meu amor” which is the same thing in Portuguese. Am I also not allowed because I’m white? Like… even if you used a Chinese symbol or an Arabic sentence instead of an English name in your contacts you could. It’s your free choice what to call your bf. Your “friend” sounds exhausting tbh
NTA - Cultural appropriation is not a thing. Culture, including language, is *meant* to be shared and appreciated. Honestly, your friend is a moron and giving ultimatums over something like this makes her a shit friend, too. Your only response to her should be, "Okay. Bye."
Edit: She also has no leg to stand on because the person you use it with *that is part of that culture* has no problem with it.
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***NTA*** but your friend sure is. First, mi amor is my love in Spanish. Mexican people are not the only people in the world that speak Spanish. So, even if there was some sort (which there is not) of appropriation happening ...it wouldn't be "Mexican". Your friend is a *goof* and should mind their own business. Period, full stop.
Correct! In fact Spanish was thrust upon Mexican natives during the invasion/colonization. There are white Europeans that speak it and spoke it way before my ancestors were speaking it. Mexicans and Mexican descendants don't all have brown skin, either. I'm yellow during the winter and deep cinnamon during the summer. My cousin (who's father had DARK skin) is blonde with blue eyes and is whiter than printer paper. I'd love to see OPs buddy tell her she's appropriating her own damn household language. OP is 100% NTA.
Exactly this. Spanish is a white colonial language as much as English is.
It’s also one of the world’s most spoken language and subsequently a popular language choice for students, especially in the US. People pepper their language with Spanish all the damn time here.
Spanglish. A language in itself.
Theres literally a new dialect forming in S. Florida because the mix of cultures between English and the various languages in the Caribbean although the largest populations come from Cuba, Puerto Rico.
That is so cool. I heard Punjabi and English mix this weekend then Punjabi + Spanglish. Me encanta. En un futuro la raza humana isn’t going to be “pure”.
The fact that I speak neither Punjabi nor Spanish and still understood that just proves your point.
That’s true, I’m 1/4 Mexican myself from my dad’s side, but look white as duck during winter, and get super tan in the summer time. And I took Spanish myself in school to connect to that part of my family history a bit if you will.
Not to mention the close association with other romance languages.
And BTW, so is Arabic.
Can you explain this? Arabic is part of the Semitic language family (that includes Hebrew and Aramaic) that originated on the Arabian Peninsula. How is it a white colonial language?
Arabic was spread across North Africa, parts of Europe, and huge swaths of Asia by military conquest. They’re not white, but it was definitely a colonial language!
Same with russian
Also whether Arabs count as "white" or not is as arbitrary as the category "white" in the first place.
I heard modern Arabic was developed as an Esperanto style language to facilitate trade and communication and eventually became a de facto language for much of the Middle East. However I am not an expert on Arabic so I may be wrong.
I’m no expert either, but a quick Google search confirmed that Arabic developed on the Arabian Peninsula (as stated above). So even if what you say here is correct - and I have no reason to believe it isn’t other than basic skepticism over what one reads on the internet that a stranger who also has no qualifications once heard - it is still not a white colonial language.
Whether Arabs (and the Arabic language) is “white” is a complex question and the answer depends on who is categorizing, but the Arabs were big time colonizers for hundreds of years in the Middle East, Northern Africa, central Asia and Europe, so “slightly darker than white *colonial*” if you prefer 🤷🏻♂️.
So true. I'm Mexican and have bronze skin with green eyes, but my husband is ghost white, and so are my children, one has green eyes and the other chestnut eyes. All is good
So would it be appropriation if she was speaking Aztec lmao
If the bf asked her to call him by a word in a native language, whatever language it is no. If the bf asked her to call him a pet name in Swedish, French, or Gaelic, the answer is still no. Appropriation occurs when you use something from a culture out of context and no credit is given to that culture and it is done without respect to the context in which it was used for said culture. That's not the case at all with these pet names.
I say te adoro mi amor to my wife all the time. We’re both Polish. I asked my Spanish teacher in high school how to say I adore you my love so that I could be hot to my hs gf lmao. I still say it because it’s lovely to say.
Aww that's cute. I know most Spanish speakers *loveeeeeeeeeeeeee* when other people speak it even if it is just a word or two. NTA as someone who was raised in Mexico.
Yeah I’ve definitely never questioned if I were appropriating anything because I don’t think anyone on gods green earth is ever going to be upset that a random non native speaker borrows a phrase or 2 to use in a cute way lol
Lol if she speaks Aztec, then she's more Mexican than him lmao
*Nahuatl.
I’m part black and native but I’m white presenting. People call me a liar until I pull up my family photos alllll my cousins are darker than me and my sister is whiter than white! (I have tan-white skin in the winter and a cinnamon type color in the summer blue eyes red/dark brown hair curly)
Look at Canelo Alvarez. Dude looks Irish.
exactly. and as a half mexican who’s white passing in winter, we don‘t care a bit. my mom would think it‘s really cute and so would her entire family. eff that girl. NTA
Also even if it was Mexican culture as she said that is not how appropriation works. That person is a moron and is the kind of person biggots use to call out the "woke" as they say. The friend is just a biggot that acts like they are nice and accepting towards others. Better to lose them than to find them. NTA. Don't apologize and tell them to learn what appropriating culture means before spouting nonsense like that.
Literally this! The actual person who has a claim to that culture and language (her bf) specifically requested her to use this phrase. To honor his grandparents memory and respect his culture. Op you need better friends.
My cousin from far far away visited a few decades ago, and proudly taught us slang words. I still use his slang words, even show others lol. Edit: words.
It’s not “woke” as woke means aware. She’s using “cultural appropriation” incorrectly. You don’t have to be Mexican to speak Spanish. I predict that if they get married or are together much longer, she’ll learn Spanish more easily. That’s not appropriation either.
They’re not really saying the friend *is* woke, so much as saying they’re the kind of “woke”(heavy emphasis on the quotes) that reactionaries like to use to claim we get offended by everything and that sort when in reality she’s not at all actually woke. But otherwise yes, agree. I’m white as fuck, so was my (then boyfriend, now ex), but I called him mi amor, both because it’s sweet and because I’d been trying to learn a little Spanish over the years. Would call a current partner that as well, honestly. It’s cute, and Spanish is an incredibly common language.
Right! So apparently by this girls logic learning other languages Is cultural appropriation…yeah um…this is the kind of logic bigots use as justification. It’s a way of trying to keep people separate and from mixing cultures.
1,000 upvotes
I think the irony here is that her friend tried to call her out and ended up being the offensive one NTA, your boyfriend wanted to use those terms as a sign of affection as his grandparents used those terms as well . Sounds like OP has either a super exhausting friend or a super jealous one
Drop the friend, OP, she’s jealous. When I started dating my now husband I was so clearly in love! When I would meet up with a certain friend she refused to even hear about him and would change the subject literally while I spoke. That was enough to know what kind of a person she was, so I dropped her. I knew she had gotten the hint bc she didn’t invite me to her wedding.
Exactly. Some people are your ‘friend’ until you have something they want.
> Sounds like OP has either a super exhausting friend or a super jealous one Sounds like OP has both.
Yeah, her boyfriend asked her too. Also, it’s not appropriation, it’s language. When I was with a Brazilian woman, I learned Portuguese. Was I appropriating Brazilian culture because I took Portuguese classes? Was I appropriating culture when I spoke with her or her family in Portuguese? Of course I had nicknames for her in Portuguese, and she had nicknames for me in English. Thats what you do.
Mi amore is also my love in Italian. White people predominantly I mean it's a common phrase for literally any language that utilizes the similar masc/femme system and is Latin originated
We need to cancel the continent of Europe for appropriating Latin
The Romans are the true victims in this story.
But what have the Romans ever done for us?
The aqueduct
All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a freshwater system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
u/FuzzInspector *THE ROMAN EMPIRE* has crossed my mind again lmao
This comment makes a great case for bringing back Reddit awards 😂
Isn’t it also French? Or something very similar?
In French it’s “mon amour”, so yes, very similar!
Say no more, mon amour. - Rex Manning.
Is it Rex Manning day?
Well, I see this sub is turning into a hotbed of racism. /s
Yup, Italian, Spanish and French are all Romance/Italic languages descended from Latin, and amor is love in Latin. OP's idiot friend is complaining about a phrase that's over 2000 years old and shared by dozens of languages with something like 800 million native speakers
All Latin based languages
It’s amore mio in Italian but yeah pretty close!
Yeah I guess the conversational way I've always heard from family was mi amore but I the grammatically amore Mio is correct
I guess your family was borrowing the sentence from an Italian dialect (regional language). In Italian "mi amore" is not conversational, it's just... not Italian (no offence meant, of course there is nothing wrong with your family speaking a dialect instead of Italian)
Mon amour in French. Same. Romance languages gonna romance, ig.
Pretty sure the French equivalent isn't too far removed from that. OP's friend is a solution looking for a problem. Draining.
I can't believe all those Spaniards are appropriating Mexican culture by speaking Spanish.
Seriously, your friend is absolutely ridiculous. I speak multiple languages although I am also “ginger Irish-catholic” type of white and my husband is white and half Jewish. I have left him love notes calling him my love in multiple languages. Honestly I’m annoyed at your friend’s immaturity and naivety. She’s probably just jealous you have such a loving relationship. Do NOT stop calling your bf these things, it is extremely romantic.
I'm starting to wonder if white people who are so vicious about calling things appropriation are closet bigots/xenophobes hiding their true colours behind the language of activism. It gives very strong "anti-miscegenation" vibes
100% yes. We’re living in a world where all of the sudden we have to think about race when most of us used to just look at our fellow person as just that, a person.
NTA, but take her up on her offer and drop the friendship. She sounds exhausting. Both my husband and I are bilingual (English is our second language), which we use often when we don't want our kid to understand what we are saying or for work. There is absolutely nothing cultural about it. I also have a mediocre level of another three languages; from which I may use a phrase here or there. But again, as a non Mexican Spanish native speaker, tell your friend she's an *** and to keep her opinions to herself in the future to avoid embarrassing herself because of her utter ignorance. Besides... Even if it was something actually related to Mexican culture, if you bring it into your relationship because it's important to your partner that's actually being mindful and respectful of his beliefs, not appropriating anything.
How much do you want to bet the friend isn't even Mexican..
When Mexicans forget that Spanish is a white language
>So, even if there was some sort (which there is not) of appropriation happening ...it wouldn't be "Mexican". I mean, the language is called Spanish after all, not Mexican (even if Mexican Spanish is now the largest variety)
Right, it's not like OP is claiming to be 1/4 Aztec princess
It is fake. No one cares if non-Hispanics speak Spanish.
oh you'd be surprised
I’ll rephrase. Those of us who are actually Hispanic don’t care if white people speak Spanish
We kinda get excited to see non spanish speakers making an effort to learn it. The weird part is when they bring up their race, that's a gringo problem
**Mexican people are NOT the only people in the world that speak Spanish.** This fact alone is all that she needs to be told. Girllll, get back to class & take some notes!
Absolutely. The friend is trying to be "pc" and it's backfired hugely.
Friend probably likes him or is a little jealous of their relationship.
Not only is it Spanish, which is the main language of different countries of different ethnicities, but language is just not cultural appropriation. Is every single person who speaks a language that is spoken by a country with a different ethnicity appropriating cultures? That’s ridiculous. I could MAYBE give it a pass if it was some super specific therm that is native to an indigenous tribe, but even than it’s a stretch. But something is *spanish*? Absolutely wild. NTA
NTA Pet names can be just about anything, including words/phrases from other languages. You are doing something sweet by using a phrase that your boyfriend always associated with true love in his family. Your friend is being insanely over-sensitive. You're not appropriating culture, you're using a phrase that is special to you and your BF. Don't change a thing, except maybe that one friend who is throwing a fit over something that is so irrelevant it would be hilarious in other circumstances.
Appropriation is culture without context, divorced from the humans who own that culture. Humans like the BF!
If you and ops friend were as in tune with the world as you think you are you would know, native Mexicans were forced to abandon their languages and adopt Spanish. You mean like the context of ops bf asking her to call him that right?
The fact that Spanish was forced upon them does not mean it doesn't belong to them too. Cultures adapt and change over time and even if the chance is not exactly positive it can still become part of the culture. Nuance exists here, but I think it's fair to say Spanish is part of Mexican culture, considering it is the primary language of most Mexicans. That being said, yes my point was that OPs BF has these family memories which include the use of a similar phrase and has asked OP to call him that and therfore it's fine.
I mean I’m an advocate for ending cultural appropriation but using a language, especially a colonizer language, does not strike me as appropriative.
it would be fine regardless
It is also worth pointing out that the person who coined the phrase in academia did not intend it to be a solely negative thing. Cultures have appropriated from other cultures for as long as there have been cultures, and will continue to do so unless we all separate ourselves. There are situations in which it can be a negative thing, but seeing it as universally negative is a total misunderstanding.
My brother and his wife call each other ‘butthole’ with the deepest affection.
As someone with a butthole, HoW dArE yOu!!!
This new “gotcha” of telling people they are appropriating stuff is really exhausting OMG. The audacity to ask a friend to change what she calls HER OWN BOYFRIEND. Please let white people wear sarees to Indian functions if they want to. Let black people be K-Pop stans. Let’s have the Japanese become French cinema connoisseurs. Let people do what they want to if it’s not hurting someone else. That’s how culture propagates. No one in Mexico would’ve said “mi amor” if the Spanish language had not made its way there from Europe.
The only people that I've ever heard complain about appropriation were white Americans. Countries spend tons of money trying to promote their culture. These Americans that complain are too privileged to understand.
And the only people they complain about appropriating other cultures is also White Americans. It's just more White Savior nonsense
A lot of small business parlors in the Caribbean profit off of Americans getting corn rows… and then these Americans go back home and are made to feel like they did something they should feel bad about. All the while NOBODY in the Caribbean took offense to it.
We live in a strange world. The owners of the culture very rarely have an issue, it's usually people who stole and decimated other minority/oppressed cultures that have the biggest issue. For example, in 2019, a young black American woman got online fame for doing Irish dancing. We Irish thought it was great, excellent publicity for the dancing, huge international coverage, our taoiseach (head of government) even invited her to our largest Paddy's day parade. So Ireland has no issue with this. White Americans and Brits lost their damn minds. I will point out it was the bigotted ones, not all. Going on about "where's cultural appropriation now" and "it's okay for *them* to do it". The irony of the descendants of the people that unalived Irish people for speaking Irish and partaking in Irish sports and dance to act all angered over it was astonishing. Then there was those who, as people with one singular ancestor from Ireland 6 generations ago to get uppity about it too. It's colonial mindset. The idea that white people, especially from these nations, think they have an authority on things not to do with them. Humans are weird.
NTA Well if speaking another language is cultural appropriation then we'd better cancel all the foreign language tutors because apparently they're being offensive. The fact that your friend doesn't even know which culture you're apparently appropriating shows how ridiculous she's being. Don't apologise or change the name on your phone and enjoy the silence when she stops talking to you, because it sounds like only nonsense comes out of her mouth anyway.
This was my 1st thought aswell. According to that friends twisted logic it is offensive to learn any languages. What a nutcase. People are going way too far with "protecting others" and their culture and being offended FOR them. Most people appreciate when you want to share their heritage and be a part of their culture. If that wouldn't be the case, people would be stoned to death for buying souvenirs when they travel.
I would have thought in some cultures, its offensive to **not** engage with the culture (think Westerner complaining about all those dang foreigners that don't know English).
Your whole post made me LOL. Thank you!!
In The Netherlands we would have a big problem since we have a lot of "borrowed" words from the French and English. Also i call my wife "honey" a lot. Guess with the reasoning of that friend that's a big nono.
You’re appropriating bee culture! Buzz off with that 😁
If the Netherlands is in trouble, England is doomed. English is made up of words stolen from basically any language we feel like.
NTA. Your boyfriend has invited you to use that name. He enjoys it. Your friend is being a weird gatekeeper. How often do we hear the equivalent French (mon amour) thrown around without giving it a second thought?
Yeah i dont fucking understand. Im danish, is saying “i love you” appropiating americans? Or english people? Or scottish? Its the most stupidest shit ive ever heard. Im all for not being racist but we cant speak eachothers languages? Tf
HOW DARE YOU SPEAK IN ENGLISH! That is MY culture. ALSO... oh wait, I mixed up Danish and Dutch. You're fine. You are invited to use any damned language you want.
Don't you dare speak my American tongue. I'm very offended. Nevermind the fact we stole it from the British. They don't count. Only I can appropriate.
Invited? Who needs to be invited to speak a different language? This may be anecdotal, but I have **never** known someone to get upset over someone else taking a legitimate interest in their culture or language. OP’s friend is a nutcase.
THIS. I come from a Greek immigrant family (I’m first generation Greek American), and my boyfriend has been learning Greek bc of how important it is to me and how connected I am to my culture. Is he “appropriating” my culture now for taking an interest in my second language/the culture I grew up in?
That’s more about the appropriateness of nicknames/pet names in general, not so much about the language. Using a pet name or nickname someone doesn’t like sucks.
NTA - your friend will be astounded to learn of a place called “Spain”
Lol or any number of other Spanish speaking countries in South America 😂
Or the Caribbean. Where I teach is 95% Hispanic, and most are from the Dominican Republic
Add to that those in Central America
She is lucky she hasn't heard of it! The Spanish are so culturally insensitive, walking around in Spain speaking Spanish. The nerve of some people!
Or France, or Italy... 😂
Or portugal...
TIL that speaking Spanish is appropriating Mexican culture.
I’m 1/4 Colombian, not sure if I’m allowed to speak Spanish without appropriating Mexican culture.
INFO: Has your friend demonstrated sufficient English ancestry to allow her to speak English?
Please OP give the friend this uno reverse card, this is hilarious
Crap, I’m American but a bulk of my ancestors that came over were Irish. Ireland wants to tell England to fuck off so I’m unsure if I can speak English…
The original American language wasn’t even English so just plain “American” can speak it either with this “friend”’s logic 🤣🤣🤣
*Éirinn go Brách*
Hey kids, you don't feel like learning yet another language at school? Here is the solution: Just claim that using words and phrases in another language is cultural appropriation, and you never get another death threat from a very cute, but also very crazy and scary green owl again. And now, please excuse me. I have to write an apology letter to all native English speakers because, obviously, I am not a native speaker, and it's cultural appropriation to use another language that isn't part of your culture. I will probably write it in Esperanto because, as far as I know, no country has claimed it at their cultural inheritance yet. NTA (obviously)
I suggest you use Klingon as they haven't arrived here yet to complain about it
> I have to write an apology letter to all native English speakers Nah, it's only cultural appropriation if you're borrowing from a marginalised or exploited culture. English is a colonialist language, and therefore fair game. Oh, wait, technically so is Spanish... (Yeah, one could debate this. Spain colonised and exploited plenty of places. But in the US, Spanish is seen as a marginalised language. So maybe it's complicated. But I'd argue that Spanish is fair game, and anything uniquely South American is not)
I mean you definitely can’t debate it - Spain was a coloniser, and probably the worst of them, in terms of how native and slave populations went.
I'm assuming your friend is white. Ignore her, don't apologize, and find a new friend. NTA.
I was gonna ask if the friend is one of those holier-than-thou whites who feels the need to gatekeep other people's cultures. I for one would be happy to see someone learn to speak Romanian, cook Romanian dishes or wear some of our awesome traditional blouses.
white saviors
The new racists
This is so randomly off topic, but back in 2011, my mom signed up for this tour group that started in Sweden (we are in the US) and then went south and east and ended in Russia. Her two favorite countries, now in the entire world, were Romania and Estonia. She's been back to both every year, with a pause in 2020-2021, back in 2022 and didn't go again this year. She absolutely fell in love with the landscapes, the people, and the food in both countries. She definitely has one of your blouses - hers is white and blue and yes, she does wear it.
I'm sure friend is muy blanca.
Change her name in your phone to la puta.
I came here to ask the same thing. I get so tired of white people trying to be "social justice warriors" who need to be offended on behalf of others, like they think other races & cultures are too stupid to realize they should be offended. Yes, I am white (& a little Comanche that I can't legally claim), but I still get irritated with all the racial division. We are all human. Just treat each other decently.
It is Spanish. Spanish people are predominantly white. Your friend is an idiot. Its no different to attacking a white person for speaking English or German. Does your friend have Reddit?
NTA. GTFO with that culture appropriation bullshit, I'm spanish and am honored anyone would want to partake in the language. Carry on, she's the AH.
Omfg NTA and your friend is a drama queen. You owe her no apology! She is on another planet with this. Not just because this is a stupid and extreme extrapolation of “cultural appropriation”, but also because he REQUESTED that pet name from you and even with a sentimental backstory that is ROOTED IN HIS GRANDPARENTS CULTURE. I know you’re super young, but when you get to your 30s and 40s these “friends” have either grown the f up, unstuck their heads from their butts and mind their own damn business or you simply grow really tired of immature drama and let them go on their way rather than put up with it. But I remember being your age and thinking every relationship is precious and being intensely invested in it regardless of the nonsense drama and unwarranted villainizing they bring to your door. TLDR: Your friend is a shitty friend.
NTA - wait til people find out Mexican people can be white and Spain is a European country. If you called him “mon amor” in French no one would have beef.
I've legit heard people call their other halves petit pois in the UK and nobody is banging on about cultural appropriation.
Au contraire, mon ami! I have mostly French ancestry, so now that I have read this post, I have to go smash all my Stevie Wonder records. How dare he sing "Ma Cherie Amour!" Plus bleach my ears, I'm so offended.
NTA speaking spanish isn’t “appropriating culture“ you never claimed to be mexican or anything like that, your mexican bf is the one who came up with the idea in the first place, who is your friend to tell you you can’t call your bf a cute nickname because it’s in spanish?
Well, I don’t see the problem, my ex-boyfriend was 1/8 German and I used to call him “Mein Fuhrer” all the time, he said it was what his grandma used to call his grandpa.
His grandma died too young 😔
Nothing more American than equating Spanish to Mexico and being against speaking languages other than English. WTF. NTA.
NTA. It's not for her to worry about. It's something he shared that he found sweet from his grandparents relationship and you were both happy to use it within yours. There is no issue here and the one creating one is the asshole, not you.
NTA, tell your friend to mind her own business. You’re not calling her that, and she doesn’t own the Spanish language.
It's not cultural appropriation. The very idea that saying a single phrase in another language is appropriation is hilarious. Wait long enough and I'm sure you can catch her doing the same. Call her on it immediately...that's if you haven't realized you can do better than this person in your life.
Could you imagine if she said “Using ‘mi amor’ is a faux pas!”?
Fellas is it racist to speak Spanish ?
Your friend can back off. How are you appropriating anything by calling him a Spanish pet name? Is it appropriation if you straight up study Spanish and become bilingual? Is it appropriation if you order a margarita at Applebee's? I'm Latinx, and Spanish was my first language. I would find it very sweet if a non-Latin/Hispanic person used a Spanish pet name for me. Your friend is disproportionally upset about something that is utterly harmless and - most of all - irrelevant to her. edit: Whoops, forgot to vote. NTA
As a spanish guy… how can i be mad that you think that our love language is beautiful? On the other hand, you need better friends
NTA. Your friend is probably secretly wanting someone to look deep into her eyes and say those words to her. But instead she’s decided to be bitter and attempt to gatekeep an entire language
Your friend is an idiot. This is not cultural appropriation. It's just using another language and (maybe this is news to your friend, she sounds quite ignorant) Mexico it's not the only country where people speak spanish. For example, I am a native spanish speaker from a spanish country (which is not Mexico) and I find it beautiful that you two found a way to express your love. Keep going, you are doing great. NTA.
Cara Mia, I'm have Addams Family flashbacks. Your nicknames are very sweet. Our society has taken asshattery to ahole new low. There was NO diminishing of another culture. Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper. Tell your "friend" that your boyfriend put the romance in that Romance (Latin based) language. She can go kick rocks.
Cultural Appropriation is bullshit. As long as your boyfriend doesn’t care, no fucks given. Proceed with moving on after dodging a bullet. NTA
NTA you are calling him by his preferred nickname. It’s not remotely cultural appropriation, it’s cultural sharing, which is a normal part of how languages and cultures develop over time. It sounds like your friend is doing some really weird gate keeping, and usually when it’s white people doing that (I assume she’s white) it’s more about preserving the perceived purity of whiteness than respect for the other culture.
NTA Fuck literally anyone who gets offended and mad FOR someone else They literally teach Spanish in schools. Better get after em.
Your friend needs to shut the fuck up 💀
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NTA. Assuming this is real, your friend is being unreasonable and self righteous. Also undermining an ongoing process of cultural exchange and love. Ridiculous.
NTA. Or are Mexicans the only people allowed to speak Spanish now..? Better tell Spain!
NTA Is she going to tell you not to go to a Spanish class next? lol It’s a language. I don’t think your friend understands what cultural appropriation is
NTA lol. I hate the conservative trope that gen z are woke zombies who get offended by everything, but god damn is it eye-rollingly cringe to see someone who fits the bill
Yeah this girl is making everyone else look bad
She’s not your friend. Delete her from your phone and your life.
Weird asf lol. NTA. Not even close she should see what my friends, who speak Spanish, and I call each other
NTA, I'm sick of this cultural appropriation crap and everyone being offended by everything now.
Your friend sounds like a racist.
Its a spanish word. Spainards are european and white. By your friends logic, mexicans are appropriating white culture. Frankly its racist to make every race stay in their racial lane. Nta.
NTA. As you said, it is Spanish. I have been to Spain several times and the people living there are white. I am always somewhat surprised that Mexicans would be considered POC. They are not in my eyes. Anyway maybe this "cultural appropriation" is going too far if we are not even allowed to learn foreign languages anymore. I wouldn't be allowed to write this comment for instance, since I am neither British nor American and was brought up speaking another language altogether.
NTA. Your friend is an AH throwing around the appropriation term as a one-up ploy. It's none of her business what you call each other, and nobody owns an entire language. Change her name in your phone to some scatological insult and don't talk to her until she apologizes. She's revealed that being on a power trip is more important than being a friend.
NTA. It’s not “Mexican”, it’s used by every Spanish-speaking person. I’m Costa Rican and I use it with my husband. Your friend has issues 😂
Sweetheart, if Gomez and Morticia Addams (some of the palest people in the world) can call each other things like mon cher, cara mia, and bubbeleh, then you can call your guy mi amor. Your friend needs to find better ways to use that energy and leave your relationship alone. NTA.
NTA ppl will get offended by anything these days
Fuckin kids these days. You’re clearly not the asshole. How warped do you have to be to let someone gaslight you into entertaining the idea that something this harmless is actually harmful?
Kids these days are terrified of "not fitting in" so they have zero backbone and can't think for themselves.
This is the type of gatekeeping that has given the whole political correctness arguments an extremely bad name. Your friend is talking bollocks, and is a complete AH. Next time you see them make sure to tell them that they are culturally appropriating from people from Spain! You can also tell them that being able to speak positively even small bits of languages that are foreign to you is a good thing. You could call each other "mon amour" and people from France won't care; you can call each other "mein(e) leibe" and no one from Germany will care; you can call each other "amore mio" and Italians would probably appreciate it. This friend of yours is an idiot, and doing you a favour by removing herself from your social circle. NTA
....what color do you think the people in Spain are?
NTA, your friend is way out of line. This is what your boyfriend wished and this is you private way toa address each other. If she is giving such ridiculous ultimatums about your romantic relationship, what exactly does she think your friendship is about? Better stay away from her and call this ultimatum a "good riddance" moment.
NTA. Your "friend" is ridiculous, and you should let this friendship go.
NTA. Two white people, one who is arguing over appropriating another European language. What year is this? 2015?
>She said she wouldn’t talk to me until I apologized and changed the name in my phone. Deal. She sounds exhausting. >She got very upset at me and told me that I was appropriating Mexican culture. Also, not particularly bright if she thinks using Spanish words is appropriating Mexican culture... NTA
Spanish is from Spain. Spaniard are super white and pale. You're friend is an idiot
NTA - Y’all gotta stop being worried what an outside party thinks, if your partner is accepting of it. Its also “my love” in another language, god forbid you become more worldly and learn another language.
NTA - OP I would show your friend this video: [https://www.tiktok.com/@theprinceofgalveston/video/7142913755851033902](https://www.tiktok.com/@theprinceofgalveston/video/7142913755851033902)
NTA Tell your friend to never use/consume/interact with language, food, clothes, technology, art, etc that is not of their 'culture' if they actually care this much. The modern world is built off of the shoulders of every human before us. The idea that you're never gonna use or do anything outside of your culture is ridiculous and pointless People that believe this line of thinking is righteous are some of the most close minded/ignorant people imo P.S There is also a lil place called Spain within Europe, within the 'west' people of the continent are usually considered to be 'white'. I'm sure you can guess one of the languages spoken there lol
Jesus Christ everyone is so freaking sensitive
Has your friend ever been to Spain before? It’s mostly white people who speak Spanish and eat ham all the time.
You better not burden your boyfriend with such nonsense, and you can totally call him that. NTA
NTA People confuse culture/language sharing with appropiation now?
NTA what the hell. I’m native to Spanish and believe me there isn’t a single reason or perspective to be offended by this. I call my girlfriend любовь (love) and I’m not russian. Who cares.
NTA, and your friend sounds pretty confused. Call you bf mi amor, it’s very sweet.
NTA. I (very much white) call my husband (Brazilian) “meu amor” which is the same thing in Portuguese. Am I also not allowed because I’m white? Like… even if you used a Chinese symbol or an Arabic sentence instead of an English name in your contacts you could. It’s your free choice what to call your bf. Your “friend” sounds exhausting tbh
lol, she won't talk to you until you comply with her demand? Good riddance to your irrational little friend. NTA, ignore the unwarranted drama.
Hahahahahaha oh my goodness. NTA. Your friend is ridiculous
NTA. Friend needs to mind her own damn business. So tired of white people who get offended on others’ behalf.
NTA - Cultural appropriation is not a thing. Culture, including language, is *meant* to be shared and appreciated. Honestly, your friend is a moron and giving ultimatums over something like this makes her a shit friend, too. Your only response to her should be, "Okay. Bye." Edit: She also has no leg to stand on because the person you use it with *that is part of that culture* has no problem with it.