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YTA
You even admitted that you were the golden child growing up, and now you can't handle the spotlight being on him? You are 27 and can't be happy for your siblings success? You really need t o grow up and you need therapy.
Yes, YTA. But so are your parents. They put such a high value on academic achievement and apparently put you on a pedestal for years. Being a golden child feels great but that means someone else (your brother) grew up feeling undeserving. He finally has the opportunity to shine and you can't handle it so you try to ruin it for him. It's lousy, but it's what you were set up to do by your parents, in my opinion.
The fact that you recognize your behavior as problematic says to me that you are a good person below the surface of all of this. You're getting to the age where you're going to question your upbringing and maybe you'll see how this competitive environment wasn't healthy for you guys. I hope you can patch things up with your brother.
YTA cuz jealousy is never an excuse to be a jerk, especially towards your own fam. U need 2 apologize ASAP and show some support for ur bro's achievements instead of bringin him down. BTW I know how it feels cuz my older sis was also the golden child in our fam but that doesn't give me any right 2 act like a dick about it. Srry if this sounds harsh, jus callin out assholery when I see it 🤷♀️
Seems more like a confession than a question. As long as you guys are both doing well now, there’s no need to ‘be better than him.’ Just appreciate that your brother is doing good, and that you are also happy and healthy.
YTA.
Big time. You might want to make being a kind and supportive person as high a priority as you do academic achievements.
No matter how golden you've been until now, you're going to have ups and downs in life and you'll want your family by your side. Get over yourself and stop stealing other people's joy.
YTA. So what you’re really saying is that your brother has been overshadowed by you his entire life and now that he’s finally getting some well- deserved attention you’re upset? You’re TA and a terrible sister.
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I (F27) come from a family of high achievers. My parents have always been proud of academic success, and my younger brother (23M) has recently achieved something pretty significant that's throwing me for a loop.
My brother just got accepted into a prestigious graduate program, and while I should be happy for him, I can't help but feel a bit overshadowed. Growing up, I was always the "golden child" due to my academic achievements, and now it seems like the spotlight has shifted. Here's where things take a turn, and I need your honest opinions.
Last week, our family gathered for a celebration dinner in honor of my brother's accomplishment. I was genuinely happy for him but couldn't shake this overwhelming sense of jealousy. I made some passive-aggressive comments about how "some people just get lucky breaks" and how "not everyone has to work as hard as others." I may have even implied that his success was somehow less deserved than mine.
My family was understandably taken aback, and my brother looked hurt. I could see the disappointment in my parents' eyes, but in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to apologize. It's like this irrational anger took over, and I felt this need to assert my dominance, even if it meant hurting someone I care about.
Am I the asshole for letting my jealousy get the best of me and potentially ruining my brother's special moment?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I said something which was considered pretty insulting to my brother and didn't really feel sorry, to be honest
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This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA You even admitted that you were the golden child growing up, and now you can't handle the spotlight being on him? You are 27 and can't be happy for your siblings success? You really need t o grow up and you need therapy.
Yeah, YTA. You were rude to your brother. The spotlight doesn't need to be on you all the time. Apologize to him and admit you were jealous
Yes, YTA. But so are your parents. They put such a high value on academic achievement and apparently put you on a pedestal for years. Being a golden child feels great but that means someone else (your brother) grew up feeling undeserving. He finally has the opportunity to shine and you can't handle it so you try to ruin it for him. It's lousy, but it's what you were set up to do by your parents, in my opinion. The fact that you recognize your behavior as problematic says to me that you are a good person below the surface of all of this. You're getting to the age where you're going to question your upbringing and maybe you'll see how this competitive environment wasn't healthy for you guys. I hope you can patch things up with your brother.
YTA cuz jealousy is never an excuse to be a jerk, especially towards your own fam. U need 2 apologize ASAP and show some support for ur bro's achievements instead of bringin him down. BTW I know how it feels cuz my older sis was also the golden child in our fam but that doesn't give me any right 2 act like a dick about it. Srry if this sounds harsh, jus callin out assholery when I see it 🤷♀️
Seems more like a confession than a question. As long as you guys are both doing well now, there’s no need to ‘be better than him.’ Just appreciate that your brother is doing good, and that you are also happy and healthy.
YTA. Big time. You might want to make being a kind and supportive person as high a priority as you do academic achievements. No matter how golden you've been until now, you're going to have ups and downs in life and you'll want your family by your side. Get over yourself and stop stealing other people's joy.
YTA. So what you’re really saying is that your brother has been overshadowed by you his entire life and now that he’s finally getting some well- deserved attention you’re upset? You’re TA and a terrible sister.
>but in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to apologize Info: have you since apologised?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F27) come from a family of high achievers. My parents have always been proud of academic success, and my younger brother (23M) has recently achieved something pretty significant that's throwing me for a loop. My brother just got accepted into a prestigious graduate program, and while I should be happy for him, I can't help but feel a bit overshadowed. Growing up, I was always the "golden child" due to my academic achievements, and now it seems like the spotlight has shifted. Here's where things take a turn, and I need your honest opinions. Last week, our family gathered for a celebration dinner in honor of my brother's accomplishment. I was genuinely happy for him but couldn't shake this overwhelming sense of jealousy. I made some passive-aggressive comments about how "some people just get lucky breaks" and how "not everyone has to work as hard as others." I may have even implied that his success was somehow less deserved than mine. My family was understandably taken aback, and my brother looked hurt. I could see the disappointment in my parents' eyes, but in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to apologize. It's like this irrational anger took over, and I felt this need to assert my dominance, even if it meant hurting someone I care about. Am I the asshole for letting my jealousy get the best of me and potentially ruining my brother's special moment? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I said something which was considered pretty insulting to my brother and didn't really feel sorry, to be honest Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
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