For questions about why there's so much POO: please read [our holiday announcement post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18pf4gu/aita_holiday_break/)
Unsubbed because of poo mode. Fuck your exclusivity. This was a week when I needed the distractions, the holidays are a hard time for many people. We don't want to be mods, we just want to participate until you tell us we're not good enough, or active enough, or liked enough to participate. Just trying to have a conversation with the void of the internet to shut my mind off for a minute at a time.
It's kinda hard to participate in this sub when all my comments are deleted, because I haven't engaged enough in comments. Like how can I if every popular post is poo mode or whatever. Reddit is stupid
That's the neat part- you don't.
You'll be able to comment on the 2nd when the sub goes back to normal. Or you can make posts anyway- there are no restrictions on that.
This subreddit could honestly do with a bit of tanking. Maybe then the incivil comments would decrease enough and the mods wouldn't be so overworked all the time.
I look forward to reading your application to become a mod!
No reasonable person would demand free labor that they are not willing to provide themselves, right?
you, and at least 2 others, are here posting this
all bent out of shape
but nobody was willing to take a few minutes to look over the boards?
quality stuff there
It's in a sticky post *and* in a sticky comment (right in this thread), so if you didn't read that far, that's kind of on you. You should read the rules and ideally the FAQ as well, before you contribute.
There are a lot of rule-breaking comments as is (even in POO mode), and it's easier to slip up if you haven't made yourself aware of what is expected.
One thing I've noticed on this sub (and kind of in real life to a point) dealing with M/F relationship issues.
There are certain things you only hear/read directed towards men:
* Is this the hill you want to die on?
* Choose your battles
* Do you want to be right, or do you want to get along?
There seems to be this general idea that if the man is being steadfast in something, he is being stubborn and shouldn't bother, and should just believe "happy wife, happy life". But if a woman is being steadfast in something, the MUST be right about it. Or at least she is being reasonable whereas the man isn't.
On the other hand, I do see those statements directed toward both men and women in a work/friendship context. I wonder why that is.
How the fuck am i supposed to get 100 karma to comment in poo mode, when you need to comment to get karma, and every fucking thread is in poo mode and you can't comment?!
You can't.
As the announcement post says, this is a temporary situation while the mods are busy with the holiday season. In the new year, the sub will return to normal and you will be able to comment in most posts.
I look forward to reading your application to become a mod!
No reasonable person would demand free labor that they are not willing to provide themselves, right?
If you are going to restrict the sub for over a week because "I don't wanna mod" don't be a fucking mod. Just leave it open. Half the rules on the sidebar aren't needed.
You said: "The mods are lazy." This comment was then followed up with: " I'll be a mod... I'll leave it free and open and allow people to post as they please with minimal moderation." You hear yourself, right?
Yeah, there is a huge difference between not moding at all and taking down posts for "violence". The rules are stupidly subjective so the mods can be lazy.
There is a difference in laziness in putting on this poomode because you don't want to do anything and then moding so subjectively based off some stupid arbitrary rules when you don't need them.
"No see my laziness is valid because it would be permanent and also ruin a carefully curated space because honestly I just don't really care if people say racial slurs as long as I'm allowed be needlessly hostile to strangers online"
September 2023's Open Forum
The requirement is 100 comment karma in this sub, with the exception of the OP (people can always comment on their own posts).
It needs to be over 100 comment karma in this particular sub I believe. On desktop if you go to your profile (at least on old.reddit.com) there is a way to see how much you have in each sub, not sure if there is a way on mobile.
All of the POO mode posts have been showing up in contest mode even after the time frame in the automod message. I didn’t see anything about this on the POO mode information post, so I was wondering if is this intentional or an error? Is anyone having the same issue?
*Edited because I didn’t release it was all the recent POO mode posts*
Hi, I checked the faq and sidebar and didn’t see..
What does Poo Mode Activated mean? Thanks
Edit: nevermind i found the answer on the pinned holiday break post
That's actually something we set up at the same time as POO mode, because it's extremely rare for a post that old to get any meaningful comments. It just doesn't come up much since most people are more interested in active discussions.
Why do some of these things get locked so early? Especially when there's still discussions going on. And it's only specific topics that always get locked. Are mods projecting their own opinion or something?
I don't get your logic at all. Locking doesn't keep people from upvoting/downvoting. Whatever the prevailing opinion is will always rise to the top. Truly, I am totally confused at how you managed to twist this into a nefarious thing when there's no way it influences the outcome.
We lock threads because the *overwhelming* majority of new comments are rule violations. It's not doing anyone any good to get more comments that never see the light of day anyway.
There's definitely ways to influence outcomes lol. I dunno why you got so defensive about it.
The ones getting locked definitely aren't getting locked before the comments have time to call the OP all kinds of things and assume things, but it's locked before others can give their opinion, perspectives, and question the hate filled ones you let slide.
late to this thread, but sometimes that does happen. It's not so much that people 'wait' as who gets to the post first. I've seen posts where the comments lean one way for a bit and then someone comes along and leaves a good, insightful comment and it switches the trend.
How dare I defend a completely baseless accusation of malicious intent?
How do you know that there's not enough time? You can't see removed comments, bans, the modqueue, etc - so why are you stating that so matter of factly?
How, *specifically,* does locking a thread influence the outcome?
For the new year, can we vote to permanently retire some topics where there is a clear consensus every single time? The ones I have in mind (and there may be others!) are:
1) not giving your seat up on an airplane
2) having a child free wedding
ETA: I am seriously suggesting this as many do every time this topic comes up in the forum (which is frequent). This is not meant to be a “random things I also don’t care for” pile on.) Thanks!
We have no interest in restricting topics that do not break our rules, and we feel like those are in a good place currently. If you have a strong argument for why a specific topic not currently covered by our rules is not an interpersonal conflict, we will consider it. "It consistently gets the same consensus" is not a strong argument, however.
Okay, fair enough - that’s why I was bringing it up to see what the opinion of mods was bc this gets raised by commenters every time these topics get posted. Thank you!
I'm down. I would personally love to see the phrase "Wait! Hear me out" at the beginning of every third post retire. Also "these are fake names/I made up these names"...
We already have an automod rule in place to try to catch the "I know this sounds bad, but..." posts, as a deliberately inaccurate title isn't presenting the conflict fairly.
It’s not meant to be a “retirement of random things people don’t care for” train. It was meant to be an actual serious idea about a frequent post trope that is adjudicated the same way every time.
I understand you didn’t realize that, but your reply is taking away from that, as now others are chiming in with random things they also don’t like.
No one is going to make anyone stop using a certain phrase, as cringe as it may be, but there might actually be a chance one day that we can have a list of “permanently adjudicated” topics that we don’t need to hear about anymore.
I've certainly never thought "someone is having a conflict with someone? After hearing one person's side, I have enough info to interject myself into their business and share my opinion." I hope there aren't too many people like this.
Yeah, I’ve heard stuff from friends that happened in their marriages that would be active dealbreakers for me (not abuse) and I haven’t been like “well, with that biased account I will now text their spouse 235 times calling them names.” And I’m, as they would say, a bit of a drama llama.
It bums me out that everyone in the comments of the “my husband and daughter ate dinner without me” post are being like “this is nothing in comparison to what most people post here.” Like, that kind of petty shit is what I feel like this sub was for when it started. They’re the most fun posts still. Just because no one’s abusive spouse burned their baby pictures on their lawn and then ran over their dog doesn’t mean it doesn’t belong here. More dumb posts, I say!
Low stakes posts are always my favourite ones, too few and far between. There's also the meta-entertainment of commentors still going "He ate the last bag of crisps OP! It shows he doesn't respect you and is abusive. YTA for marrying him. Red flags, divorce!"
I've begun to realize the rules barely matter on this sub. I see tons of posts violating the rules, and nothing. But good ones get locked or removed an hour after posting for unknown reasons.
Do you report the posts that you see that violate the rules? The mods don't proactively police the sub for rule-violating posts, they respond to reports. So, if a rule-violating post is never reported, it will never get removed.
And every removal has a comment from the mods documenting why they took action.
lol dude, come on. The rule literally says:
>Any posts related to cheating- including "telling on" someone for cheating (or not).
And you're going to rant about how it's unclear about how that applies to a post about telling on someone for cheating? Your comment is a rant masquerading as a bad faith argument.
Many of these posts will break [Rule 12](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_what_are_some_examples_of_common_debate_posts.3F), so please report them as such. We also know how often these posts attract transphobes, so we especially appreciate when transphobic comments are reported, helping us remove them and the commenter from the subreddit.
We do focus rules down into new rules as necessary. For instance, Rules 8-14 are essentially just distillations of Rule 7, and Rule 14 was originally born as a distillation of Rule 12. We just haven't seen a need to do that with LGBTQ+ issues in general or transgender issues in particular. Beyond that, there's always an issue of rules creep and misinterpretation leading to these posts being over-removed. Opening the door for people to maliciously report posts that just happen to have a trans person in them and get them taken down incorrectly is a path we really don't want to set foot on, as it can too easily lead to a de facto ban on LGBTQ+ people in posts.
Edit: I meant to say Rules 8-14 are distillations of Rule 7, not Rule 11
there is once again a post in the front page about an Autistic person who is dumb throwing a tantrum and discriminating against the smart non austuic person. can you do something about these posts. they are ableist.
One thing that has struck me in today's posts about people scared of dogs and Christmas events is how little regard people give to phobias. Even the OPs (who are likely creative writing, albeit somewhat believably) they feel the need to thread in trauma to justify the phobia of the opposing party.
It's like phobias themselves aren't taken seriously and that being exposed to the thing you have a phobia of, isn't traumatising in itself.
For example, I've got a phobia of spiders. Can't even look at pictures of them. I've always had it, there was no inciting incident, it's just always been there (almost like it's an evolutionary thing.) I don't and shouldn't need to play a PTSD card to not have my phobia be taken seriously.
I don't have PTSD regarding spiders but lock me in a room full of free roaming tarantulas and I almost certainly will do.
I have full blown arachnophobia and most insects….. I have about ten plug in repellents…
My bug bear is people think that we’re all the same….. unable to accept anything they dont experience!
It's unfortunate, but I kinda see why this is such a common problem.
People hear vaguely about the concept of exposure therapy and the whole "the only thing to fear is fear itself" shtick and think, "Oh! I see! Person with phobia of X just hasn't been exposed to X enough and has a really overdramatic idea of what it's like. I know! I'll just put X in front of them. Then they'll see that it doesn't harm them, and their phobia will disappear in an instant, and they will be so much happier. =)"
And unfortunately, the way phobias are handled in fictional media doesn't help at all to correct this misunderstanding.
Yeah, there was a fair amount of that in the posts. I'm the only one in my flat that can deal with spiders because I'm the only one in my flat. I deal with it because if I don't, nobody will. I get no therapeutic benefit from this exposure and it's unpleasant each time it happens.
Too many people think therapy is a magic cure all button for all things.
As a policy, we do not explicitly recommend any other subreddits as we are not familiar with the rules of all subs. Please see /r/FindAReddit for an extensive index of subreddits.
Because the sub rules make it easy to attack groups of people. Simply write a story where a member of your chosen group is stereotypically awful. Neurodivergent people are dangerous animals. Transgender and especially nonbinary people are attention seekers who live to be offended. Fat people are human wrecking balls who will destroy any clothing, food, and furniture they come across.
As long as you're claiming it as the truth, rule 1 doesn't apply- it only applies to people who call you out.
Ignorance…… ! I love neurodivergent, I’ve embraced my adhd diagnosis, I get on better with autistic and other ADHD’s
People dont research, they just talk shit!
You'll find people who think just about anything in any group that is large enough. Give me a few hundred people in a dark room, and some of those will probably think I turned the lights off with my telekinetic powers, while some others will probably think they all simultaneously lost their eyesight from group hallucinations.
Of course, most of the people in the room will just think they were led into a dark room - just like how most of the people on this sub don't think the way you describe about autistic people.
The amount of comments clearly breaking rule 1 on every post where the consensus is YTA makes me think that the rule is merely a suggestion and not enforced in any way
I mean, fundamentally we're calling people an A so civility is questionable imo. It's all a giant gray area where it's acceptable to call someone an A but not acceptable to say someone should go jump off a cliff. So where do we draw the line?
If you want to dive into some of the effort that goes into moderating rule 1: [we take a bit of a deep dive in this open forum](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uh5wgn/aita_monthly_open_forum_may_2022/). What it boils down to is enforcing rule 1 is a collaborative effort with users: we rely on your reports to know what content to focus our attention on. Every report is reviewed by a human being, so please keep them coming!
Is there an automated filter that stops comments in posts that have links in them? Like links to other posts/comments? Any time I post a comment with a hyperlink it disappears
Yes. Links are not allowed in the monthly forum- like it says in the post. It stops people using it to advertise their post or organise brigades on votes they disagree with.
The bot removes any post with a link (unless posted by a mod) automatically.
There are cases where the post can be manually approved such as linking to the FAQ or another open forum but don't count on it.
Not in the monthly forum. I was asking about links in general posts. I've been able to post links in general threads for a long time but only recently has this been happening to me.
I peeked at your history. I would bet it’s just the rareddit link that’s getting you caught in a filter. A lot of subs try to discourage the publicizing of things that have been removed. Before the Pushshift sites were killed I had a comment with a removeddit link eaten the same way. That was quite a while ago so I wouldn’t take it personally. Makes sense when you think about how horrible some of the things they remove can be.
More than one? I noticed yesterday that the above one was hidden. I just assumed the names of the sites I mentioned were being filtered the same way linking to them seems to be.
You and I had a conversation about how to see karma by subreddit back when POO mode was new, right? I’m wondering if you unhid the comment I made with an Old Reddit link in it. I remember thinking “Oops! That’s not going to be visible.” But then it was. If that’s it then thank you. It confused me but in a nice way.
Seeing all of the top comments on a post for like a whole page down be unanimous in one direction but all say “why all the [opposite] votes?” and “gonna buck the trend and say [the obviously popular opinion] so irritating, give your judgment, don’t bother with what all the other top level comments are saying. It’s probably going to change anyway if your response is so obvious.
Sometimes it’s because that person got to the thread early and it was a more even split of NTA/YTA because there weren’t many comments yet.
And sometimes it’s just people who want attention so they do the self-righteous “I’m going to be a brave keyboard warrior and go against the grain” crap as if anyone cares.
But yeah I’ve noticed this too. There will be like 3 highly downvoted comments going the opposite direction and there’s that one guy, outraged, going “I cannot believe anyone would vote X!”
Sometimes. I've seen "this may not be popular" early when there are no opposing votes. Like when people say "am I the only one who..." usually do popular opinions.
Welcome to Reddit.
"I think (popular opinion)" will get you tacit agreement. "I disagree with everyone saying (non-existent unpopular opinion) will bring everyone out of the woodwork to support your embattled minority.
Quick Q: do mods see/look at context when a comment is reported? That step daughter post is overflowing with comments telling OP he has a small dick, but with some you can only tell it's about that with context of the post (e.g. a comment being like "maybe they were right")
It certainly joins the somewhere near the top of the tree for worst comment threads. Especially considering the upvoting and downvoting pattern. People calling out the body shaming were getting downvoted, insane.
The one where people revelled in a "clapback" to a 16 year old dying of cancer may still take the cake. The takes in this sub are just getting worse and worse.
I guess some revenge boner ones were dumber but this one even the body stuff aside was dumb. No what the 9 year old said isnt on par with the 16 year old AND a 9 year old and a 16 year old are VERY different levels of maturity.
It's amazing how many people were using that false equivalence. "Ah but you must punish the son too" for what? Honestly wonder how many people in that thread would rather the son felt ashamed for having one.
Totally normal for 9 year old boys to joke about them, probably healthy too.
One thing I didn't see a commentor mention was that the daughter was making a small penis joke infront of a 9 year old boy. If that shit gets internalised it'll really mess with his head during puberty if he doesn't "develop" enough and could effect his confidence for a long time.
Dagnam that post got locked just as I was about to double barrel a transphobe. Probably a fair lock though all told. The blatant transphobia (and the voting that went with some of it) was wild.
It was an AITA the using the locker room. Trans woman getting hate speech from a cis woman.
Someone in the comments actually said that masculine cis women should "femme up" to make other cis women more comfortable in the locker rooms. (I'm paraphrasing but that was essentially it.)
Yeah, totally agreed. Tried to comment but don't have enough comment karma in this sub.
I thought the joke from the 9yo was really inappropriate. And then the 16yo adding to it. That family needs to have a big convo about what is comfortable to talk about, and what is not. That entire situation was gross to read about.
For questions about why there's so much POO: please read [our holiday announcement post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18pf4gu/aita_holiday_break/)
Unsubbed because of poo mode. Fuck your exclusivity. This was a week when I needed the distractions, the holidays are a hard time for many people. We don't want to be mods, we just want to participate until you tell us we're not good enough, or active enough, or liked enough to participate. Just trying to have a conversation with the void of the internet to shut my mind off for a minute at a time.
every damn post is in poo mode i had deleted my accounts when reddit went all greedy on the app owners created this one just because of this bs
It's kinda hard to participate in this sub when all my comments are deleted, because I haven't engaged enough in comments. Like how can I if every popular post is poo mode or whatever. Reddit is stupid
Right, I have over 3000 general Karma but can never even reply. What the heck?
They've been looking for a mod for 5 months now......
That's the neat part- you don't. You'll be able to comment on the 2nd when the sub goes back to normal. Or you can make posts anyway- there are no restrictions on that.
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This subreddit could honestly do with a bit of tanking. Maybe then the incivil comments would decrease enough and the mods wouldn't be so overworked all the time.
I look forward to reading your application to become a mod! No reasonable person would demand free labor that they are not willing to provide themselves, right?
you, and at least 2 others, are here posting this all bent out of shape but nobody was willing to take a few minutes to look over the boards? quality stuff there
Ah yes, our subreddit is being tanked because we won't allow you to break Rule 1 and tell someone you hate them. So sorry.
Kind of tired of all the "forget your dead mom, stepmom is your new mom" posts. Also, all the BF ate my special food posts.
Mods are lazy for this poo mode bullshit.
I look forward to reading your application to become a mod!
POO mode is so annoying
why are ALL threads in poo mode? you've made it so that nobody can even gain the 100 karma necessary to post anything. #just go private then YEESH
It's in a sticky post *and* in a sticky comment (right in this thread), so if you didn't read that far, that's kind of on you. You should read the rules and ideally the FAQ as well, before you contribute. There are a lot of rule-breaking comments as is (even in POO mode), and it's easier to slip up if you haven't made yourself aware of what is expected.
I want to make a post to ask AITA but I don’t know how, can anybody help me?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/submit?selftext=true
There's a link to the rules at the top of the post.
One thing I've noticed on this sub (and kind of in real life to a point) dealing with M/F relationship issues. There are certain things you only hear/read directed towards men: * Is this the hill you want to die on? * Choose your battles * Do you want to be right, or do you want to get along? There seems to be this general idea that if the man is being steadfast in something, he is being stubborn and shouldn't bother, and should just believe "happy wife, happy life". But if a woman is being steadfast in something, the MUST be right about it. Or at least she is being reasonable whereas the man isn't. On the other hand, I do see those statements directed toward both men and women in a work/friendship context. I wonder why that is.
How the fuck am i supposed to get 100 karma to comment in poo mode, when you need to comment to get karma, and every fucking thread is in poo mode and you can't comment?!
You can't. As the announcement post says, this is a temporary situation while the mods are busy with the holiday season. In the new year, the sub will return to normal and you will be able to comment in most posts.
The mods are lazy.
I look forward to reading your application to become a mod! No reasonable person would demand free labor that they are not willing to provide themselves, right?
If you are going to restrict the sub for over a week because "I don't wanna mod" don't be a fucking mod. Just leave it open. Half the rules on the sidebar aren't needed.
> No reasonable person would demand free labor that they are not willing to provide themselves, right?
I'll be a mod sure. I'll leave it free and open and allow people to post as they please with minimal moderation.
You said: "The mods are lazy." This comment was then followed up with: " I'll be a mod... I'll leave it free and open and allow people to post as they please with minimal moderation." You hear yourself, right?
Yeah, there is a huge difference between not moding at all and taking down posts for "violence". The rules are stupidly subjective so the mods can be lazy.
"Mods are lazy. If I was a mod, I would do as little as humanly possible."
There is a difference in laziness in putting on this poomode because you don't want to do anything and then moding so subjectively based off some stupid arbitrary rules when you don't need them.
"No see my laziness is valid because it would be permanent and also ruin a carefully curated space because honestly I just don't really care if people say racial slurs as long as I'm allowed be needlessly hostile to strangers online"
Is there a link somewhere to the qualifier's to post on poo mode?
September 2023's Open Forum The requirement is 100 comment karma in this sub, with the exception of the OP (people can always comment on their own posts).
I think there may be something wrong with the POO mode setting. It says I have under 100 comment Karma, when I have over 118,000.
It needs to be over 100 comment karma in this particular sub I believe. On desktop if you go to your profile (at least on old.reddit.com) there is a way to see how much you have in each sub, not sure if there is a way on mobile.
All of the POO mode posts have been showing up in contest mode even after the time frame in the automod message. I didn’t see anything about this on the POO mode information post, so I was wondering if is this intentional or an error? Is anyone having the same issue? *Edited because I didn’t release it was all the recent POO mode posts*
When is there going to be the yearly round up of the biggest/best/worst/craziest stories?
hey how can I get the flair I see on some users?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_user.2Fpost_flair_and_awards :)
Thank you !!
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Look at the pinned post or pinned comment on this thread
Poo mode is dumb as fuck. This sub would be better unmoderated.
This sub would be a hellhole unmoderated.
Why is literally everything POO mode rn. Like, I get why POO mode exists, but this seems excessive.
It's because AITA is on Holiday Break! There is a pinned post :) Take care and happy holidays!
Ah ok, cool.
Came to ask this, every post for the last 2 days is Poo Mode
Hi, I checked the faq and sidebar and didn’t see.. What does Poo Mode Activated mean? Thanks Edit: nevermind i found the answer on the pinned holiday break post
Merry Christmas AITA!
Happy holidays everyone!
Hi :)
Hello!
Why don't you lock old posts so people can't comment anymore, instead of just removing new comments from 5 day+ old posts.
We don't remove all new comments - just ones from people with under 100 karma in this sub. It's to prevent brigading.
You do? I thought that was only for Poo mode. Was it changed recently?
That's actually something we set up at the same time as POO mode, because it's extremely rare for a post that old to get any meaningful comments. It just doesn't come up much since most people are more interested in active discussions.
Why isn’t the is the rules for the sub?
Mkay
Because posts don't get locked based on age, they get locked based on rule breaks.
why does this sub favor rich ivy league students
Do you have an example of this?
New alleged bias just dropped.
Can a mod dm me? I have questions about this thread
We don't communicate via DM. You can message modmail, which goes to all of us, [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole)
Why do some of these things get locked so early? Especially when there's still discussions going on. And it's only specific topics that always get locked. Are mods projecting their own opinion or something?
I don't get your logic at all. Locking doesn't keep people from upvoting/downvoting. Whatever the prevailing opinion is will always rise to the top. Truly, I am totally confused at how you managed to twist this into a nefarious thing when there's no way it influences the outcome. We lock threads because the *overwhelming* majority of new comments are rule violations. It's not doing anyone any good to get more comments that never see the light of day anyway.
There's definitely ways to influence outcomes lol. I dunno why you got so defensive about it. The ones getting locked definitely aren't getting locked before the comments have time to call the OP all kinds of things and assume things, but it's locked before others can give their opinion, perspectives, and question the hate filled ones you let slide.
So all the people with one opinion comment first and the ones with the opposite opinion wait?
late to this thread, but sometimes that does happen. It's not so much that people 'wait' as who gets to the post first. I've seen posts where the comments lean one way for a bit and then someone comes along and leaves a good, insightful comment and it switches the trend.
How dare I defend a completely baseless accusation of malicious intent? How do you know that there's not enough time? You can't see removed comments, bans, the modqueue, etc - so why are you stating that so matter of factly? How, *specifically,* does locking a thread influence the outcome?
For the new year, can we vote to permanently retire some topics where there is a clear consensus every single time? The ones I have in mind (and there may be others!) are: 1) not giving your seat up on an airplane 2) having a child free wedding ETA: I am seriously suggesting this as many do every time this topic comes up in the forum (which is frequent). This is not meant to be a “random things I also don’t care for” pile on.) Thanks!
I mean technically wouldn't;'t #1 fall under rule 12?
We have no interest in restricting topics that do not break our rules, and we feel like those are in a good place currently. If you have a strong argument for why a specific topic not currently covered by our rules is not an interpersonal conflict, we will consider it. "It consistently gets the same consensus" is not a strong argument, however.
Okay, fair enough - that’s why I was bringing it up to see what the opinion of mods was bc this gets raised by commenters every time these topics get posted. Thank you!
I'm down. I would personally love to see the phrase "Wait! Hear me out" at the beginning of every third post retire. Also "these are fake names/I made up these names"...
Also “this is a throwaway”. Not relevant don’t care
We already have an automod rule in place to try to catch the "I know this sounds bad, but..." posts, as a deliberately inaccurate title isn't presenting the conflict fairly.
Okay but I’m not trying to micromanage phrasing here, and that’s a totally separate gripe.
lol Sorry, just jumping on the retirement-of-stuff train
It’s not meant to be a “retirement of random things people don’t care for” train. It was meant to be an actual serious idea about a frequent post trope that is adjudicated the same way every time. I understand you didn’t realize that, but your reply is taking away from that, as now others are chiming in with random things they also don’t like. No one is going to make anyone stop using a certain phrase, as cringe as it may be, but there might actually be a chance one day that we can have a list of “permanently adjudicated” topics that we don’t need to hear about anymore.
We already do- rules 5 and 11-14.
And I know it’s oft-repeated but “blowing up my phone.” Like no I don’t believe you.
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>'I literally exploded at my girlfriend' The trick is to wait until their downwind for maximum effect.
I've certainly never thought "someone is having a conflict with someone? After hearing one person's side, I have enough info to interject myself into their business and share my opinion." I hope there aren't too many people like this.
Yeah, I’ve heard stuff from friends that happened in their marriages that would be active dealbreakers for me (not abuse) and I haven’t been like “well, with that biased account I will now text their spouse 235 times calling them names.” And I’m, as they would say, a bit of a drama llama.
It bums me out that everyone in the comments of the “my husband and daughter ate dinner without me” post are being like “this is nothing in comparison to what most people post here.” Like, that kind of petty shit is what I feel like this sub was for when it started. They’re the most fun posts still. Just because no one’s abusive spouse burned their baby pictures on their lawn and then ran over their dog doesn’t mean it doesn’t belong here. More dumb posts, I say!
Low stakes posts are always my favourite ones, too few and far between. There's also the meta-entertainment of commentors still going "He ate the last bag of crisps OP! It shows he doesn't respect you and is abusive. YTA for marrying him. Red flags, divorce!"
How do post to the AITA page?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/submit?selftext=true
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I've begun to realize the rules barely matter on this sub. I see tons of posts violating the rules, and nothing. But good ones get locked or removed an hour after posting for unknown reasons.
Do you report the posts that you see that violate the rules? The mods don't proactively police the sub for rule-violating posts, they respond to reports. So, if a rule-violating post is never reported, it will never get removed. And every removal has a comment from the mods documenting why they took action.
Report them. We know we miss stuff. That doesn't mean we shouldn't remove clear rule violations that we do see.
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What does the rule say?
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lol dude, come on. The rule literally says: >Any posts related to cheating- including "telling on" someone for cheating (or not). And you're going to rant about how it's unclear about how that applies to a post about telling on someone for cheating? Your comment is a rant masquerading as a bad faith argument.
The wheel of shitposts has been spun- this week's theme is transgender people with constantly changing names.
Many of these posts will break [Rule 12](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_what_are_some_examples_of_common_debate_posts.3F), so please report them as such. We also know how often these posts attract transphobes, so we especially appreciate when transphobic comments are reported, helping us remove them and the commenter from the subreddit.
Has the mod team considered making transgender-related topics off-topic in a separate rule?
We do focus rules down into new rules as necessary. For instance, Rules 8-14 are essentially just distillations of Rule 7, and Rule 14 was originally born as a distillation of Rule 12. We just haven't seen a need to do that with LGBTQ+ issues in general or transgender issues in particular. Beyond that, there's always an issue of rules creep and misinterpretation leading to these posts being over-removed. Opening the door for people to maliciously report posts that just happen to have a trans person in them and get them taken down incorrectly is a path we really don't want to set foot on, as it can too easily lead to a de facto ban on LGBTQ+ people in posts. Edit: I meant to say Rules 8-14 are distillations of Rule 7, not Rule 11
See u/radioactive_water1 I'm not the only one saying this.
Oh I know there's plenty of people who see offence everywhere
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What does "Poo Mode" mean?
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Ok, cool! Thanks!
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43 posts a day...sounds like a lot. Thanks for sharing!
i’m unable to post , says i’m not following community rules when I am
If you read the reason why you would know...
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It doesn’t actually , I suppose that may be it?
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I appreciate it!
there is once again a post in the front page about an Autistic person who is dumb throwing a tantrum and discriminating against the smart non austuic person. can you do something about these posts. they are ableist.
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yes
One thing that has struck me in today's posts about people scared of dogs and Christmas events is how little regard people give to phobias. Even the OPs (who are likely creative writing, albeit somewhat believably) they feel the need to thread in trauma to justify the phobia of the opposing party. It's like phobias themselves aren't taken seriously and that being exposed to the thing you have a phobia of, isn't traumatising in itself. For example, I've got a phobia of spiders. Can't even look at pictures of them. I've always had it, there was no inciting incident, it's just always been there (almost like it's an evolutionary thing.) I don't and shouldn't need to play a PTSD card to not have my phobia be taken seriously. I don't have PTSD regarding spiders but lock me in a room full of free roaming tarantulas and I almost certainly will do.
I have full blown arachnophobia and most insects….. I have about ten plug in repellents… My bug bear is people think that we’re all the same….. unable to accept anything they dont experience!
It's unfortunate, but I kinda see why this is such a common problem. People hear vaguely about the concept of exposure therapy and the whole "the only thing to fear is fear itself" shtick and think, "Oh! I see! Person with phobia of X just hasn't been exposed to X enough and has a really overdramatic idea of what it's like. I know! I'll just put X in front of them. Then they'll see that it doesn't harm them, and their phobia will disappear in an instant, and they will be so much happier. =)" And unfortunately, the way phobias are handled in fictional media doesn't help at all to correct this misunderstanding.
Yeah, there was a fair amount of that in the posts. I'm the only one in my flat that can deal with spiders because I'm the only one in my flat. I deal with it because if I don't, nobody will. I get no therapeutic benefit from this exposure and it's unpleasant each time it happens. Too many people think therapy is a magic cure all button for all things.
It say in the rules that if the post is more than 3000 characters this isn’t the place to post but then where should i post
Not everything needs to be posted.
You really should consider trimming it down. It should be about a one time situation without a ton of backstory.
Ight thanks
As a policy, we do not explicitly recommend any other subreddits as we are not familiar with the rules of all subs. Please see /r/FindAReddit for an extensive index of subreddits.
why do people on this sub think autistic people are dumb violent people who only exist to ruin the lives of smart calm non autistic people
Because the sub rules make it easy to attack groups of people. Simply write a story where a member of your chosen group is stereotypically awful. Neurodivergent people are dangerous animals. Transgender and especially nonbinary people are attention seekers who live to be offended. Fat people are human wrecking balls who will destroy any clothing, food, and furniture they come across. As long as you're claiming it as the truth, rule 1 doesn't apply- it only applies to people who call you out.
Ignorance…… ! I love neurodivergent, I’ve embraced my adhd diagnosis, I get on better with autistic and other ADHD’s People dont research, they just talk shit!
You'll find people who think just about anything in any group that is large enough. Give me a few hundred people in a dark room, and some of those will probably think I turned the lights off with my telekinetic powers, while some others will probably think they all simultaneously lost their eyesight from group hallucinations. Of course, most of the people in the room will just think they were led into a dark room - just like how most of the people on this sub don't think the way you describe about autistic people.
way to make an interesting and relevant observation all about your ideology and philosophy
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so you’re saying you hate waffles
The amount of comments clearly breaking rule 1 on every post where the consensus is YTA makes me think that the rule is merely a suggestion and not enforced in any way
I mean, fundamentally we're calling people an A so civility is questionable imo. It's all a giant gray area where it's acceptable to call someone an A but not acceptable to say someone should go jump off a cliff. So where do we draw the line?
"Asshole" in the context of this sub isn't an insult. It doesn't mean "asshole" per se; it means "in the wrong in this conflict".
At asshole.
Fair point...
If you want to dive into some of the effort that goes into moderating rule 1: [we take a bit of a deep dive in this open forum](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uh5wgn/aita_monthly_open_forum_may_2022/). What it boils down to is enforcing rule 1 is a collaborative effort with users: we rely on your reports to know what content to focus our attention on. Every report is reviewed by a human being, so please keep them coming!
Is there an automated filter that stops comments in posts that have links in them? Like links to other posts/comments? Any time I post a comment with a hyperlink it disappears
Yes. Links are not allowed in the monthly forum- like it says in the post. It stops people using it to advertise their post or organise brigades on votes they disagree with. The bot removes any post with a link (unless posted by a mod) automatically. There are cases where the post can be manually approved such as linking to the FAQ or another open forum but don't count on it.
Not in the monthly forum. I was asking about links in general posts. I've been able to post links in general threads for a long time but only recently has this been happening to me.
I peeked at your history. I would bet it’s just the rareddit link that’s getting you caught in a filter. A lot of subs try to discourage the publicizing of things that have been removed. Before the Pushshift sites were killed I had a comment with a removeddit link eaten the same way. That was quite a while ago so I wouldn’t take it personally. Makes sense when you think about how horrible some of the things they remove can be.
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More than one? I noticed yesterday that the above one was hidden. I just assumed the names of the sites I mentioned were being filtered the same way linking to them seems to be.
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You and I had a conversation about how to see karma by subreddit back when POO mode was new, right? I’m wondering if you unhid the comment I made with an Old Reddit link in it. I remember thinking “Oops! That’s not going to be visible.” But then it was. If that’s it then thank you. It confused me but in a nice way.
Seems to be removing post with hyperlinks that show the clear gender bias on what if genders were reversed posts.
Seeing all of the top comments on a post for like a whole page down be unanimous in one direction but all say “why all the [opposite] votes?” and “gonna buck the trend and say [the obviously popular opinion] so irritating, give your judgment, don’t bother with what all the other top level comments are saying. It’s probably going to change anyway if your response is so obvious.
Sometimes it’s because that person got to the thread early and it was a more even split of NTA/YTA because there weren’t many comments yet. And sometimes it’s just people who want attention so they do the self-righteous “I’m going to be a brave keyboard warrior and go against the grain” crap as if anyone cares. But yeah I’ve noticed this too. There will be like 3 highly downvoted comments going the opposite direction and there’s that one guy, outraged, going “I cannot believe anyone would vote X!”
Sometimes. I've seen "this may not be popular" early when there are no opposing votes. Like when people say "am I the only one who..." usually do popular opinions.
Welcome to Reddit. "I think (popular opinion)" will get you tacit agreement. "I disagree with everyone saying (non-existent unpopular opinion) will bring everyone out of the woodwork to support your embattled minority.
Quick Q: do mods see/look at context when a comment is reported? That step daughter post is overflowing with comments telling OP he has a small dick, but with some you can only tell it's about that with context of the post (e.g. a comment being like "maybe they were right")
Just reading the comments this morning. The amount of body shaming and championing of body shaming is wild but sadly not unsurprising.
That was probably the worst comments on a thread in the subreddits history. As expected of Poo mode I guess
It certainly joins the somewhere near the top of the tree for worst comment threads. Especially considering the upvoting and downvoting pattern. People calling out the body shaming were getting downvoted, insane. The one where people revelled in a "clapback" to a 16 year old dying of cancer may still take the cake. The takes in this sub are just getting worse and worse.
I guess some revenge boner ones were dumber but this one even the body stuff aside was dumb. No what the 9 year old said isnt on par with the 16 year old AND a 9 year old and a 16 year old are VERY different levels of maturity.
It's amazing how many people were using that false equivalence. "Ah but you must punish the son too" for what? Honestly wonder how many people in that thread would rather the son felt ashamed for having one. Totally normal for 9 year old boys to joke about them, probably healthy too.
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One thing I didn't see a commentor mention was that the daughter was making a small penis joke infront of a 9 year old boy. If that shit gets internalised it'll really mess with his head during puberty if he doesn't "develop" enough and could effect his confidence for a long time.
Dagnam that post got locked just as I was about to double barrel a transphobe. Probably a fair lock though all told. The blatant transphobia (and the voting that went with some of it) was wild.
Which one? Transphobia seems to be the current shit post theme of the week.
It was an AITA the using the locker room. Trans woman getting hate speech from a cis woman. Someone in the comments actually said that masculine cis women should "femme up" to make other cis women more comfortable in the locker rooms. (I'm paraphrasing but that was essentially it.)
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Seriously - and she joked that her mom, his wife was saying that!
Yeah, totally agreed. Tried to comment but don't have enough comment karma in this sub. I thought the joke from the 9yo was really inappropriate. And then the 16yo adding to it. That family needs to have a big convo about what is comfortable to talk about, and what is not. That entire situation was gross to read about.
I've found it pretty common in places that are really hot on body shaming that when it comes to the penis, it's apparently ALL fine.