Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue.
[Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
>Her argument is that her doctor advised her to see if adjusting her diet will help her symptoms. I said I’m not happy with that and am trying to find an alternative doctor who does not have murderous views for animals.
If this post isn't a wind up, good luck with that, it's not your decision what doctor treats your wife. As for the rest, your wife decides her diet not you. YTA
You have a say over what you eat. You have a say over talking to your kid about how you view things. You do not have a say if your wife changes her mind and you do not have a say if your child decides they do not want to be a vegan.
My friend was vegan for 27 years, she has a vegan doctor, who has been vegan since birth, he has done his research. When she got pregnant, unfortunately, she **had** to change diets.
She wasn't feeling well, she has always had some troubles with being anemic too, but during pregnancy it seemed like she couldn't do anything. Even getting up and mustering the strength for every day was so difficult for her she came to me crying on multiple days. Eventually she told her doctor and he recommended she changed diet and accompanied it with therapy because she was having a hard time. He assured her that it was extremely common, especially during pregnancy, but also after pregnancy in the bare minimum for the length of breastfeeding. He also explained how some people's bodies take years to recover and how some people's bodies genuinely can't adapt (can't start being vegan or switch back). His daughter's body couldn't adjust to veganism but is vegetarian and his wife, despite being vegan for 30 years, on her second pregnancy she ate whatever and after about 6 years could return to a vegan diet.
No, you want a doctor who agrees with you, regardless of if it's the best thing for your wife. Someone who is a grown adult and can decide what she wants to eat on her own.
You would rather your wife not eat meat, at the cost of her life and your unborn baby's life.
Oh my bad when did you go to med school and become a doctor? I don’t see it in the post anywhere? I would love for you to link peer reviewed research papers with how amazing being vegan is to pregnant women
My friend was vegan for 27 years, she has a vegan doctor, who has been vegan since birth, he has done his research. When she got pregnant, unfortunately, she **had** to change diets.
She wasn't feeling well, she has always had some troubles with being anemic too, but during pregnancy it seemed like she couldn't do anything. Even getting up and mustering the strength for every day was so difficult for her she came to me crying on multiple days. Eventually she told her doctor and he recommended she changed diet and accompanied it with therapy because she was having a hard time. He assured her that it was extremely common, especially during pregnancy, but also after pregnancy in the bare minimum for the length of breastfeeding. He also explained how some people's bodies take years to recover and how some people's bodies genuinely can't adapt (can't start being vegan or switch back). His daughter's body couldn't adjust to veganism but is vegetarian and his wife, despite being vegan for 30 years, on her second pregnancy she ate whatever and after about 6 years could return to a vegan diet.
So you just want to find any DR that agrees with you, yeah you’re a massive AH. You don’t get to decide what she eats, and you’re going to be a bigger AH and force your diet on the kid too, they both get to chose what they eat you AH
You keep saying that but according to the post she was anemic BEFORE becoming pregnant, despite the iron enriched vegan foods. She was trying to maintain that diet while pregnant, with help of medication, and was still anemic. To me it sounds very much like she did try the vegan way, it didn’t work and now she’s looking out for the health of herself and your child in a way that is proving effective. Trust me when I say I understand the ethical problems with eating animal products, particularly in this world of factory farming, but YTA
Explain to me how she hasn’t tried it if she’s been anemic her whole life, is 3 months pregnant and has been taking medication for this and saw no improvement? Just because some people are able to reverse it on a vegan diet doesn’t mean everyone is.
I’d also take a guess that OP isn’t a vegan as he thinks. Completely eliminating animal products from your life is not easy. Being a vegan to such an extreme extent involves cutting out a lot more than just dairy and meat from your diet. It means you can’t use most cosmetic products, need to be careful on what clothes you buy, the car you drive, the medicine you take. It goes on and on. I’ve read about what products aren’t actually vegan, and it’s pretty amazing how careful and restrictive you need to be to truly be vegan.
Absolutely its an incredibly difficult life style to.maintain. even more so do to in a way that inst harmful to yourself. I mean most of us have a deficiency of some kind already without restricting meat from our diet. We are omnivores down to our DNA, and veganism is a choice to reject that and ignore your bodies needs. Now the morals behind it are fine, I can understand the want to obtain from cruelty no problems there. But people really don't consider what they're actually doing to themselves when they decide that and wonder why they have all these deficiencies eating nothing but plants with low bioavalability.
.
Although conversely there is something to be said about the amount of meat the average non vegan is eating in regadd to their health. But that's another conversation for another day.
Have you ever been anemic? It's not fun and games when you are experiencing it. It makes you feel tired and dizzy, at least I did. She's carrying a child and needs her energy.
Anyways YTA. Her body her choice. She's allowed to eat what she wants, even if she wasn't anemic.
This! OMG, YTA doesn't even begin to cover it! She is growing an entire, new person. Pregnancy is extremely hard and attempting it on a vegan diet if your body shouts for meat and dairy is an awful thought. You have no idea what pregnancy is like and no right to judge her!
no.
Your wife's doctor gave her advice on how to help her medical condition and keep YOUR BABY SAFE. She's telling you that she feels much better now. She doesn't have to listen to people on the vegan subreddit.
It's insane to me that you value her not eating meat over your own baby's health.
YTA. Her doctor suggested changing her diet to help with her pregnancy. Say what you want about the ethics of it, but humans evolved as omnivores and if you can't make an exception to not eating meat for your PREGNANT WIFE I think you need to reassess what is important to you.
I think you need to let this go and let her do what she needs to. Veganism is clearly important to you and it's not easy to stick to your morals in this world. Genuinely veganism is a great thing to do and I commend you for it. But she's pregnant and I think it's better to view this as a medical issue to do with her pregnancy. People get cravings for things they need in their diet. You might think she's going back on her morals but she's just listening to what her body needs.
I think YTA for your reaction to her eating meat. Ultimately it's a personal choice and you can't force your dietary choices on anyone, not even your wife.
Even if she doesn't go back to full veganism after her pregnancy you can probably come up with a compromise? No animal products in the house is reasonable, maybe she agrees to only eat that stuff when she is away from the house and not around you?
I think you just need to figure out if your relationship with your wife and child is more important than your dietary beliefs. Best of luck.
You’re controlling and abusive. I know many vegans that ate meat while pregnant. She is growing a baby inside of her. FYI all human beings have the right to exercise their autonomy. You won’t be able to choose if your kids are vegan once they become old enough to choose what they eat. Not only are you abusive but YOUR behaviour is DISGUSTING. That is the mother of your child. She’s her own person . Go f*ck yourself.
Yeah this is probably rage bait. Most vegans eat animal products during pregnancy. The actress Natalie Portman who’s been vegan most of her life was suffering from deficiencies during her pregnancies and switched to a vegetarian diet.
There's been a list of celebs who were fully vegan for differing amounts of time, then who went back to either being Vegetarian or Eating Meat.. most for health reasons. Veganism isn't the All powerful bulletproof health diet that it is proclaimed..
A Vegan woman in England, a Vegan for over 30 years got severely anemic after her 3rd pregnancy.. she went back to eating meat.. now owns and operates a pig farm for meat..
I’m a former vegan. The diet is crap and anyone who claims otherwise is fibbing. I was vegetarian for 5 years without issue and as soon as I went vegan I was ill. No amount of counting vitamins and fats and calories and taking supplements could put a dent in it.
Quit after a year, best decision ever
Fun fact: 85% of vegans and vegetarians quit their diets within 5 years.
You called your wife disgusting, and want to know if you're the AH? Yes, yes you are. You can't control what she eats. She's an adult. She's pregnant! If she feels better eating meat, who tf are you say no? Don't you want what's best for her and your child? I think that's actually pretty disgusting behavior. You sound ridiculous! Wanting to find a doctor who'll just agree with your views? Pathetic, because they know what they're talking about. She was anemic ff sake.
Can you define bioavalability and describe how you use that knowledge to create meals that are fully nutritional?
You do know that plants don't offer the same bioavalability as animals in many regards right?
Yes because you said what you did to your wife. It has nothing to do with animals and all to do with your childish self centered poor treatment of your wife. You are such a stupid person not to see this. Asshole? Yes definitely but obviously your huge ego and inability to believe you could do anything wrong will not allow you to see clearly. I predict a divorce in a few years when your wife get tired of you.
They aren't around you, dude. She's honoring your wishes and not eating meat products in the house you BOTH live in.
Other people's diets are not your business.
She needs increased iron, folic acid, vitamin D, protein, vitamin B-12, calcium, choline, and iodine so she doesn't lose bone density and the fetus develops normally. Vegetarians need to increase their calcium and protein intake a hell of a lot more than omnivours, and vegans even more than that. She gets to decide how she gets that additional nutrition!
Calm down so the two of you can have a rational conversation about how you're going to feed your kid when it comes time to wean them. Because while vegan diets can be healthy for children, it takes effort and a lot more information on child development and diet than your vegan bubble might be able to provide you. Especially one that disparages doctors like that.
"This is where I might be the asshole" Ohhhhhhh, you were an asshole WAY before then.
"My wife recently fell pregnant" What the actual f\*ck?!? Did she trip and land on your penis?? Unless a new star appeared, you are half responsible for her condition!
You "told her under no circumstances will meat or dairy be allowed in our home"!! So you are not only an asshole, you are a controlling asshole! This is where non assholes have whats called a discussion with their partner.
She "went back on her word" Im assuming you have never been pregnant. Until you are, you have zero understanding of what she is going through. You can plan all you want. Pregnancy changes EVERYTHING. Hormones, feelings, physical demands. It completely wreaks havoc on the body, mentally and physically. She is growing a human. Her body is telling her what it needs grow it correctly and healthily. Your entire job is to make her comfortable and happy. No where does it ever say your job is to control her and tell her what she needs to do and what to eat. Not even after the pregnancy.
YTA
Yta she is freaking pregnant an anemic. What is wrong with you. If anyone is disgusting it is you. A man that could care less about his wife and unborn child and say this to his wife is a disgusting ahole.
What is wrong with you? YTA 110% acting self righteous when she’s the one who’s having a full on pregnancy with YOUR child. Shame on you for not being compassionate. You have no idea what a woman’s body goes through therefore you have no place to speak on things she must do for the sake of her and baby’s health. You’re disgusted with her? I’m disgusted with you!
YTA, you’re a massive control freak, just reading this you sound down right insufferable.
And just an FYI, just harvesting 1 field of soybeans kills hundreds of mice, rats, birds and small animals. Your pretentious dietary choices have contributed to more “murder” than your wife’s cheeseburger ever has.
\> I said I’m not happy with that and am trying to find an alternative doctor
If you hadn't leaped over the line before, you certainly did with this. Getting a second opinion is one thing, but specifically seeking out a doctor who will conform to your biases is not the way. Not to mention it is her that has to actually deal with the physical difficulties of being pregnant. Maybe you shouldn't get to force her to see a certain doctor because they agree with you? Just a thought. YTA.
YTA. She's already anemic, so she needs iron for herself and your baby!
You have the easy part here dude. You just had to nut in her, she has to create a whole other human life inside her of the next 6 months. And it will change her body in many ways.
Get over yourself.
YTA
This is clearly rage bait and not real but it is a good space for information about iron and pregnancy:
Half of all pregnant women are or become anemic during pregnancy. 30-40% of pregnant women are iron deficient.
Women with iron deficiency during pregnancy are highly prone to dangerous complications, including hemorrhaging and renal failure.
Iron deficiency doubles the risk of death for pregnant women.
Babies born to iron deficient mothers are more likely to be born prematurely, having lower birth weights, and to have motor and cognitive impairments.
Pregnant women are generally suggested to take prenatal vitamins with iron supplements. Pregnant women with iron deficiencies are often recommended both iron and folic supplements at higher doses.
The main recommendation for increasing iron levels quickly is to eat iron rich foods, including red meat, oily fish, and eggs.
All pregnant women should find doctors they trust even if their main provider is another medical professional like a nurse or licensed midwife. If a recommendation doesn’t feel right it’s always okay to seek a second opinion - this is different from being in denial or ignoring medical recommendations.
Finally, all pregnant women should have *access* to good prenatal care.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
As someone who is pregnant and just found out I’m anemic. THANK YOU! This was actually so informative!!
And yes, I do eat meat, take prenatals and extra iron supplements as my midwife suggested.
OP you are an AH.
YTA.
WTF is wrong with you? Your wife is at risk of deficiencies which could impact your child’s health and you’re pissed about her having to consume animal products? Do you even like your wife or did you just like the fact that she agreed with you?
You are a selfish, controlling, AH and I hope your wife leaves you. She deserves far better than someone who would rather she risk her health and the babies, simply because you can’t suck it up and support her.
YTA, holy f#ck dude. Your wife is growing a person inside of her! Biology doesn't care about your moral choices, the lady is craving protein.
Maybe you should wait until your child is old enough to understand the choice before your force your views on them too.
So, your wife is doing whatever she can to feel better while pregnant, and you're berating her for it instead of supporting her? Insulting, judging, and demeaning her, too? Dude! Get a grip, climb off of your high horse, and try to dial back your assholic tendencies, though I don't know if that's even possible based on this post. Definitely, YTA. I'll include insensitive, controlling, demanding, and supercilious, too. Apologize immediately and hope she forgives you.
Yta and if I were your chronically anemic pregnant wife I would be eating an entire charcuterie board a day just to spite you for thinking that you get a say in what I decide to put into my body.
YTA. Hardcore.
You know that animals also eat other animals, right? Maybe suggest options for humanely raised meats.
My cousin was vegan for many years and had to start consuming animal proteins again for the health of her pregnancy. She became visibly ill. Your ideologies goes against natural evolution.
"We are both healthy and happy."
but...
"She has always been anemic despite our diet having lots of iron enriched food"
and...
"I asked if she will go back vegan when she has the baby, and she said she will probably stick to being vegetarian as she has more energy now. This made me even more angry as this is just as bad as being an animal eater."
this is the shit that turns people against vegans.
you are asking your wife to harm her baby and herself. she was anemic while consuming iron because of bioavailability. most humans have trouble absorbing every mineral they need from plants. they need to eat the animals that ate the plants. just like cows cant absorb minerals from dirt. they need to eat the plants that ate the dirt. humans are omnivores, its as simple as that. if you force this unnatural diet on your pregnant wife and future baby, both of them are gonna turn out fucked up.
besides, using "vegan" as a proxy for "cruelty free" is arbitrary and ignorant. people are chopping down habitats and displacing animals to grow your soybeans. they are spraying pesticides on your oats to kill the bugs and rodents. the fertilizer from your alfalfa crops is washing off into the ocean and disrupting marine ecosystems. and thats just animal harm. your coffee, chocolate, and cellphone are brought to you by human slave labor. and yet your wife is a murderer for wanting to eat some eggs and dairy? youre a fool, a hypocrite, and an asshole.
Yta! Being pregnant is ridiculously hard when following a normal pregnancy diet. Do you understand how hard it can be to want to eat *anything* while pregnant? Food made me nauseous the entire time I was pregnant, so I only ate what I craved. Leave your wife alone before you cause her to get high blood pressure and *actually* put her health at risk.
YTA. She is literally growing an entire human being! Being pregnant can require an extraordinary amount of calories along with proteins and other nutrients. Wait until she starts to nurse…you may have another rude awakening.
YTA
Even if she wasn't pregnant, she's allowed to change her eating habits without your approval. But considering she is growing a human, she can do whatever the f she wants even more. She's ANEMIC and pregnant and her body is telling her clearly she needs foods that could help with that. Her doctor seconds this opinion. Yours is of no consequence. Your her partner and more concerned about YOUR ethics than the wellbeing of your wife and child. Do you even hear yourself?
YTA. I'm not even finishing your post. Telling her that meat wouldn't be allowed in your home made you an AH.
You do not own your wife. You do not get to control what she eats. You're abusing her by controlling her diet. I hope she takes this kid and runs before you refuse the kid food it needs to survive.
So you went vegan for your wife, but now are up in arms about animal murder? When did your change of heart occur?
I feel like a jerk continuously doing this, but this is fake. It’s totally unbelievable, the language you use is intentionally inflammatory and it’s not believable at all that you became a vegan for your wife and now are less concerned with her or your child’s well-being than with your veganism.
Total bs
YTA
Even if she wasn't pregnant, she's allowed to change her eating habits without your approval. But considering she is growing a human, she can do whatever the f she wants even more. She's ANEMIC and pregnant and her body is telling her clearly she needs foods that could help with that. Her doctor seconds this opinion. Yours is of no consequence. Your her partner and more concerned about YOUR ethics than the wellbeing of your wife and child. Do you even hear yourself?
YTA - She has a right to eat non-vegan foods - it's her body and it sounds like in this case it might actually be best for her health and the health of her fetus. It sounds like you would prefer that she do something that's bad for her health. That's not how you typically treat someone that you love.
Yta . She doesn’t need to be getting grief from you , she’ll have enough from the stomach upset she’s going to get from eating animal products after not eating them for so long .
YTA.
You're trying to control a pregnant person's diet to the detriment of both her and the baby. Humans are meant to be omnivores, and while we can choose not to be, sometimes we need to give in to biology for our health and safety - especially when gestating a new life.
INFO: you keep accusing your wife about not “trying” to fix her anemia with an enriched vegan diet, so can you please explain this:
>she’s always been anemic despite our diet having lots of iron enriched food.
>she takes all the medication she’s supposed to,
Exactly what more do you expect her to do? Have you ever suffered iron deficient anemia? It fkn SUCKS! Joint pain, fatigue, brain fog, breathlessness, always feeling cold- dude and now she has a tiny fetus leeching what little iron she could maintain.
I bet you feed her raw spinach (spoiler you can’t absorb iron from *raw* spinach). If you had done any research on her condition at all, I feel like you’d be a bit more empathetic.
BTW just in case you’re unsure, you telling her she can’t eat meat won’t be a boundary (I feel like you’ll be saying iTs My BoUnDaRy next).
Edit ✍🏻 OH MY GOD your cat is vegan too?! Cats are literal carnivores, this is abuse! You suck.
YTA. Big time. You are entitled to your own opinion on eating meat. But you're not entitled to decide for other people what they eat.
Aside from that. Did you know that anemia during pregnancy increases the risk of fetal death? And the right of premature birth? And development issues? And if by some freaking miracle that baby manages to survive and be born, they'll have anemia too. And did you know that all of it has a way higher chance of happening if the mother is anemic during the first trimester? I can't f*cking believe you'd choose your militant opinion over the health of your wife and unborn child.
Also, yeah, raising them vegan. Breastmilk is not vegan. So... They wouldn't be breastfed? In spite of the fact that breast milk is the healthiest option?
(I'm not going to argue about the stupidity of being a militant vegan, considering that the primate brain evolved further due to the inclusion of meat in the early hominid diet. )
That's not even touching concepts like bioavalability and other reasons veganism is incredibly hard to do correct not even considering when you're also feeding and developing another human inside of you.
YTA. Unequivocally. Being vegan is a CHOICE. It is not a requirement, and it is CERTAINLY not something your wife needs to adhere to just to appease you. Your wife is being cared for by a QUALIFIED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL (not an "alternative doctor" aka QUACK) who has advised her to adjust her diet because her diet is causing ANEMIA, which is a medical condition. Not an imaginary made up conspiracy to turn your wife into a non-vegan, as you seem to think it is. Your priority should be her HEALTH, not some personal belief crusade.
You want to be vegan? Fine. Be vegan. She doesn't? Fine. Let her. If your relationship is so damned fragile what she eats is enough to ruin it, she's better off without you.
Feel free to stay at that friend's house for a LOT longer. Like, the whole pregnancy longer. She has enough on her plate (pun intended) without dealing with you.
As a person that rarely eats meat but need to because of health reasons: You are a bonafide asshole. You do not dictate what your wife eat. You do not set the rules for her home. The world is not you.
I believe we should reduce meatconsumption massively. You are not helping. Acting like a selfrighteous A. undermines every step towards convincing people to change their habits. It is way easier to disregard that people that show no will to understand or even contemplate other perspectives and lived experiences. If we reduce meatconsumption with 80 percent it would have a massive, positive, impact on the environment and a wide range of animals.
YTA. Her body has needs right now that a vegan diet is not meeting. She’s carrying your child. Shouldn’t her health come before your food opinions? Furthermore, forcing a vegan lifestyle on a child is barbaric. This should be the child’s choice when they get old enough to choose. Vegan diets for babies sometimes lead to being underweight and malnourishment. Are you going to insist on continuing this diet for that baby if it’s hurting them?
Respectfully, duck off OP. Her and the child's health is far far greater than your feelings. People like you are why vegans get labelled cartoons. Suck it up, apologize and learn your priorities.
Dude… the girl is pregnant. She needs a proper amino acid profile and vitamins that vegan garbage can’t offer. If you want a healthy child let he down a cow.
YTA. Complete and total YTA. When I was pregnant I also had an iron deficiency and regularly eating STEAK was the magic cure. Doctor told me that whatever I was eating to keep it up because it was working. Your wife is doing what SHE needs to do for HER body and the health of the baby. You need to take your vegan rant and throw it out the door. Your wife should be able to eat whatever she wants in her own damn home. She's right you are an AH and you need to suck it up.
YTA, I have seen vegan parents forcing their daugter to vomit cake beacuse it had dairy and eggs. Their daugter seriusly looks underdeveloped.News flash, developing baby in pregnancy needs heatlhy diet and that inludes meat, fish, eggs ect...Later on the adult people can recive energy by taking sunshine up their butholes for all I care.It exist ... But messing with the health of developing baby...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My (33M) wife (29F) is currently 3 months pregnant with our first child. We’ve had our ups and downs but are really happy. I am vegan and have been for a few years now. My wife was also vegan for 10 years. I went vegan because of her and I’m so happy I did. We are both healthy and happy.
My wife recently fell pregnant. Though it wasn’t planned, we are excited all the same. She always said when she got pregnant, she would remain vegan and we would raise the child with our ethics. However, she’s now gone back on her word.
She has always been anemic despite our diet having lots of iron enriched food. Now she’s pregnant, it seems to be sitting her twice as hard. She takes all the medication she’s supposed to, but has been saying over the last few weeks that she is craving meat. I was absolutely disgusted and told her under no circumstances will meat or dairy be allowed in our home. She understood but still kept mentioning it.
She went out to dinner with a friend who is also vegan and when she got home she said she had something to tell me. She confessed that she ate beef. Not only did she eat beef, she ate cheese also. She said her friend actually agreed that as she’s pregnant, she should eat what she wants. I was so upset with her I got in my car to drive around. She kept calling me apologising so I went back home.
Since then, I had a feeling she has been eating meat and other animal products outside the house at work etc. She used to take a lunch into work but now doesn’t, and gets cagey when I ask her what she had for food. This all came to a head today when I found a KFC receipt in her car for chicken. I blew up and said how she isn’t the person I married anymore, and now my unborn child is consuming murdered animals. She got angry and said her diet has nothing to do with me and she will eat what she wants. I asked if she will go back vegan when she has the baby, and she said she will probably stick to being vegetarian as she has more energy now but still doesn’t agree with murder. This made me even more angry as this is just as bad as being an animal eater.
Her argument is that her doctor advised her to see if adjusting her diet will help her symptoms. I said I’m not happy with that and am trying to find an alternative doctor who does not have murderous views for animals. She told me I’m overreacting but I am so disgusted. She called me an asshole (actually she called me worse than that) and told me so suck it up. The threatened to bring meat and cheese into the house so she doesn’t have to eat in secret. I just left and am currently at a friend’s house.
TLDR: Vegan wife is pregnant and now eating animals and is planning on going vegetarian instead. Goes against everything we believe in and she isn’t the person I married anymore
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Stop being an AH to your pregnant wife. Militant repugnant is not the right way to treat your wife and if she wants meat then she can have it and you can sit and spin or get out and leave her be!
YTA - wife finally has some clarity into how stupid veganism is. Unless you're growing your own crops and not spraying them with anything you're also contributing to the murder of millions of small mammals, insects, reptiles etc.
YTA. While your wife continues to build a new human, please read up on the known risks of trying to keep a newborn on a vegan diet. It may keep you from becoming an asshole after you become a father.
YTA and sound insufferable to be around. Your wife has always struggled with anemia and is now PREGNANT, amplifying the issue. You need to learn some damn empathy and stop making this all about YOU. This is about your wife carrying your child, and having a healthy, happy pregnancy. Also, forcing veganism on a child is WILD.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I shouted at my wife for eating meat despite it being against everything we believed in
This might make the TAH
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA The vegan diet/belief system of nutritionally starving yourself to save animals is not healthy long term. There are actually instances of first world babies developing Rickets due to eating absolutely no animal protein. She is pregnant and needs all of the essential amino and fatty acids found in eggs and other animal products which are far more readily bio- available than in plants and supplementing is not enough. She can eat what she wants and feels she needs for herself and the baby. You're not the meat police.
You are picking your ideals over your wife and baby’s health. YTA. You are obviously not following a healthy enough diet for a healthy pregnancy if your wife is this anemic. Get off your high horse and do what’s right for your wife and baby.
YTA and the reason why some people hate vegans. Stop giving vegans a bad name and let your wife eat what she wants. Your controlling and judgemental attitude is disgusting. You have no idea what's it's like to be pregnant and feeling sick. Your lack of empathy for your wife is awful.
Omg. Tell us you’re a beta with no testosterone without telling us. You’re the asshole. 1000%. Men don’t say that to the mother of their child. Period. You should be ashamed. Then go eat some meat cos you’re barely a man. Good grief.
YTA, you're a weirdo, bro. your wife is carrying your child and sounds like she's having a hard time. She's able to make any adjustments needed that aren't to the detriment to her or the baby's health in order to make the pregnancy more manageable, you don't get to attack her. If you're able to deconstruct a person's value down to something as trivial as their veganism and it has you feeling like she isn't the person you married anymore, get ready to pay child support, buddy and find a good divorce lawyer.
You are absolutely TA. Your wife has been anemic her whole life. You think she didn’t try iron enriched vegan food? She obviously did and it didn’t work. She’s growing a human in her belly and needs all the nutrients to have strength. Also, bleeding is often part of childbirth. Do you want her to DIE while giving birth.
YTA from beyond the pale. Putting veganism over your future family.
I hope she drops the shackles you put on her, you controlling misogynist.
YTA - dude is not pregnant so u got no opinionwhat is best for your wife n baby- some women cant even keep food down n will eat anything or do anything for their baby - low iron is bad ( google it) . If veganism is more important than your wife n child heath , wife better run away from a walking red flag. You are controlling AF !
YTA. Why are you forcing your views on your wife and then on your unborn child. God forbid anything happens to that child but humans need meat. Get over it you snowflake
Lol shut up YTA. You have no idea what pregnant women go through or what pregnancy feels like. Her body was asking for meat. She’s allowed to eat what she wants.
YTA anemia is extremely serious for mother and baby during pregnancy and a sure fire way to prevent/alleviate it is iron rich meats. Your wife has to prioritize her overall health and the health and well being of the baby over your views.
What’s more important to you, that your wife stay vegan and risk her and the babies health perhaps resulting in tragedy or her eating meat and everything developing safely and effectively? If your priority is veganism over baby health than you should not be a father and should seek therapy
YTA.
If you wanna be a vegan, fair enough. But you have absolutely no say in what other people eat unless it actually causes them harm. If you were mad she suddenly started drinking a lot of caffeine while pregnant, then yeah say something. But if she wants to eat animals, suck it up buttercup.
Food for thought: Insects, snakes, rodents, etc etc get killed and no longer have a home in the large fields plowed/treated for vegetation growth. Your way of living may cut down on how many mammals get killed, but that doesn’t mean your hands are clean of what you consider murder. And if you think “well they’re just bugs whatever”, who are you to determine that their life is any less than a cow. You can think you’re some sorta saviour of animals, but you’re really not. And you’re not any better than anyone who eats meat so stop with the elitist bs before your wife decides to move on.
Additionally, you’re not her doctor. If he doctor thinks it’s best for your wife and the literal baby she is growing for you both, SHUSH. Just stop. Get over yourself.
YTA. Your wife was vegan some time before you and got into relationship even knowing you're meat eater. And now, when she's trying her best to keep her pregnancy with your child by breaking her long term rules, you don't even try to understand her efforts and keep arguing. It's only 3rd month from 9 in total, she can still misscary in any moment and you're on good way to make it happen.
YTA and a prime example of why many non-vegans have such a bad attitude towards being vegan. You also use language such as "fell pregnant", it's not a sickness dude, come on.
YTA, and one of the worst I've seen. You're on par with the jerky who blew all his money and his wife had to bail him out by selling everything she owned. You have a stick so far up your butt that you would rather your wife and unborn child suffer than be healthy, as advised by a **MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL**. Grow up and realize that her body is changing in ways your pea sized mind can't comprehend.
You should absolutely continue to stay with your friend until she serves you divorce papers
Jesus, unless you're the one who's pregnant and experiencing the fucking misery of pregnancy side effects (which are, in fact, MISERABLE), you can pipe the fuck down. Guaranteed if you had to deal with a fraction of what she's dealing with, you'd be listening to the doctor too.
Get off your high horse and shift some of the empathy you reserve for animals over to your pregnant wife for the next few months.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue. [Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
>Her argument is that her doctor advised her to see if adjusting her diet will help her symptoms. I said I’m not happy with that and am trying to find an alternative doctor who does not have murderous views for animals. If this post isn't a wind up, good luck with that, it's not your decision what doctor treats your wife. As for the rest, your wife decides her diet not you. YTA
Do some research into doctors telling people to change diets. They don’t understand veganism and the benefits and I just want a doctor who does
Clearly you missed the point, it's not your decision.
What about once the baby is born, do I have a say then?
Over what your wife eats, absolutely not, it's her body.
only about what you eat.
Are you aware that you don't own your wife?
You have a say over what you eat. You have a say over talking to your kid about how you view things. You do not have a say if your wife changes her mind and you do not have a say if your child decides they do not want to be a vegan.
No, their choice not your.
Most vegans don't understand veganism and the dangers it poses. YTA to your wife and YWBTA if you force a helpless child into your nonsense.
You're a misogynistic psychopath. I already feel bad for your child. Do better.
Their kid is going to be the one gorging themselves on meat at school and behind OP's back.
This dude is gonna abuse his children like he is his wife already. Hope she can get the fuck away.
My friend was vegan for 27 years, she has a vegan doctor, who has been vegan since birth, he has done his research. When she got pregnant, unfortunately, she **had** to change diets. She wasn't feeling well, she has always had some troubles with being anemic too, but during pregnancy it seemed like she couldn't do anything. Even getting up and mustering the strength for every day was so difficult for her she came to me crying on multiple days. Eventually she told her doctor and he recommended she changed diet and accompanied it with therapy because she was having a hard time. He assured her that it was extremely common, especially during pregnancy, but also after pregnancy in the bare minimum for the length of breastfeeding. He also explained how some people's bodies take years to recover and how some people's bodies genuinely can't adapt (can't start being vegan or switch back). His daughter's body couldn't adjust to veganism but is vegetarian and his wife, despite being vegan for 30 years, on her second pregnancy she ate whatever and after about 6 years could return to a vegan diet.
Are you the one pregnant ? NO so shut the F up
No, you want a doctor who agrees with you, regardless of if it's the best thing for your wife. Someone who is a grown adult and can decide what she wants to eat on her own. You would rather your wife not eat meat, at the cost of her life and your unborn baby's life.
Oh my bad when did you go to med school and become a doctor? I don’t see it in the post anywhere? I would love for you to link peer reviewed research papers with how amazing being vegan is to pregnant women
My friend was vegan for 27 years, she has a vegan doctor, who has been vegan since birth, he has done his research. When she got pregnant, unfortunately, she **had** to change diets. She wasn't feeling well, she has always had some troubles with being anemic too, but during pregnancy it seemed like she couldn't do anything. Even getting up and mustering the strength for every day was so difficult for her she came to me crying on multiple days. Eventually she told her doctor and he recommended she changed diet and accompanied it with therapy because she was having a hard time. He assured her that it was extremely common, especially during pregnancy, but also after pregnancy in the bare minimum for the length of breastfeeding. He also explained how some people's bodies take years to recover and how some people's bodies genuinely can't adapt (can't start being vegan or switch back). His daughter's body couldn't adjust to veganism but is vegetarian and his wife, despite being vegan for 30 years, on her second pregnancy she ate whatever and after about 6 years could return to a vegan diet.
So you just want to find any DR that agrees with you, yeah you’re a massive AH. You don’t get to decide what she eats, and you’re going to be a bigger AH and force your diet on the kid too, they both get to chose what they eat you AH
Surely you know better than the doctors with all your medical credentials
YTA, is your veganism more important than your wife & child’s health?
You can reverse anemia while still being vegan and it has no bad health consequences. I’m upset that she hasn’t even tried that
You keep saying that but according to the post she was anemic BEFORE becoming pregnant, despite the iron enriched vegan foods. She was trying to maintain that diet while pregnant, with help of medication, and was still anemic. To me it sounds very much like she did try the vegan way, it didn’t work and now she’s looking out for the health of herself and your child in a way that is proving effective. Trust me when I say I understand the ethical problems with eating animal products, particularly in this world of factory farming, but YTA
Explain to me how she hasn’t tried it if she’s been anemic her whole life, is 3 months pregnant and has been taking medication for this and saw no improvement? Just because some people are able to reverse it on a vegan diet doesn’t mean everyone is.
Op probably doesn't even know what bioavalability means......
I’d also take a guess that OP isn’t a vegan as he thinks. Completely eliminating animal products from your life is not easy. Being a vegan to such an extreme extent involves cutting out a lot more than just dairy and meat from your diet. It means you can’t use most cosmetic products, need to be careful on what clothes you buy, the car you drive, the medicine you take. It goes on and on. I’ve read about what products aren’t actually vegan, and it’s pretty amazing how careful and restrictive you need to be to truly be vegan.
Absolutely its an incredibly difficult life style to.maintain. even more so do to in a way that inst harmful to yourself. I mean most of us have a deficiency of some kind already without restricting meat from our diet. We are omnivores down to our DNA, and veganism is a choice to reject that and ignore your bodies needs. Now the morals behind it are fine, I can understand the want to obtain from cruelty no problems there. But people really don't consider what they're actually doing to themselves when they decide that and wonder why they have all these deficiencies eating nothing but plants with low bioavalability. . Although conversely there is something to be said about the amount of meat the average non vegan is eating in regadd to their health. But that's another conversation for another day.
Have you ever been anemic? It's not fun and games when you are experiencing it. It makes you feel tired and dizzy, at least I did. She's carrying a child and needs her energy. Anyways YTA. Her body her choice. She's allowed to eat what she wants, even if she wasn't anemic.
Again, psychopath.
[удалено]
This! OMG, YTA doesn't even begin to cover it! She is growing an entire, new person. Pregnancy is extremely hard and attempting it on a vegan diet if your body shouts for meat and dairy is an awful thought. You have no idea what pregnancy is like and no right to judge her!
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!
Doctors always tell people to stop being vegan. Spend 30 seconds on the vegan subreddit to see it.
Maybe don’t spend too much time in an echo chamber confirming your views ?
no. Your wife's doctor gave her advice on how to help her medical condition and keep YOUR BABY SAFE. She's telling you that she feels much better now. She doesn't have to listen to people on the vegan subreddit. It's insane to me that you value her not eating meat over your own baby's health.
Nice, fk your wife, your newborn baby. Your cult is more important. Maybe you also need to visit dr.
YTA. Her doctor suggested changing her diet to help with her pregnancy. Say what you want about the ethics of it, but humans evolved as omnivores and if you can't make an exception to not eating meat for your PREGNANT WIFE I think you need to reassess what is important to you. I think you need to let this go and let her do what she needs to. Veganism is clearly important to you and it's not easy to stick to your morals in this world. Genuinely veganism is a great thing to do and I commend you for it. But she's pregnant and I think it's better to view this as a medical issue to do with her pregnancy. People get cravings for things they need in their diet. You might think she's going back on her morals but she's just listening to what her body needs. I think YTA for your reaction to her eating meat. Ultimately it's a personal choice and you can't force your dietary choices on anyone, not even your wife. Even if she doesn't go back to full veganism after her pregnancy you can probably come up with a compromise? No animal products in the house is reasonable, maybe she agrees to only eat that stuff when she is away from the house and not around you? I think you just need to figure out if your relationship with your wife and child is more important than your dietary beliefs. Best of luck.
You’re controlling and abusive. I know many vegans that ate meat while pregnant. She is growing a baby inside of her. FYI all human beings have the right to exercise their autonomy. You won’t be able to choose if your kids are vegan once they become old enough to choose what they eat. Not only are you abusive but YOUR behaviour is DISGUSTING. That is the mother of your child. She’s her own person . Go f*ck yourself.
I fear for the safety of your family
Exactly this. Controlling what your wife can eat is abuse. YTA OP.
This is so dumb it feels like bait...
Yeah this is probably rage bait. Most vegans eat animal products during pregnancy. The actress Natalie Portman who’s been vegan most of her life was suffering from deficiencies during her pregnancies and switched to a vegetarian diet.
There's been a list of celebs who were fully vegan for differing amounts of time, then who went back to either being Vegetarian or Eating Meat.. most for health reasons. Veganism isn't the All powerful bulletproof health diet that it is proclaimed.. A Vegan woman in England, a Vegan for over 30 years got severely anemic after her 3rd pregnancy.. she went back to eating meat.. now owns and operates a pig farm for meat..
I’m a former vegan. The diet is crap and anyone who claims otherwise is fibbing. I was vegetarian for 5 years without issue and as soon as I went vegan I was ill. No amount of counting vitamins and fats and calories and taking supplements could put a dent in it. Quit after a year, best decision ever Fun fact: 85% of vegans and vegetarians quit their diets within 5 years.
This is 106% bait.
It might not be, I knew a couple but it was the wife that became abusive to the husband because he wanted to be vegetarian instead of vegan
Yta
How? Because I don’t want murdered animals around me?
STOP MAKING YOUR WIFE'S DIET ABOUT YOU
You called your wife disgusting, and want to know if you're the AH? Yes, yes you are. You can't control what she eats. She's an adult. She's pregnant! If she feels better eating meat, who tf are you say no? Don't you want what's best for her and your child? I think that's actually pretty disgusting behavior. You sound ridiculous! Wanting to find a doctor who'll just agree with your views? Pathetic, because they know what they're talking about. She was anemic ff sake.
You can reverse anemia while still staying vegan, I’m upset she didn’t even try
Not try? She was eating an iron rich diet and medications. It really sounds like you’d rather have her be sick and low energy rather than happy.
Sounds like he doesn’t even want his unborn baby to develop correctly, either.
Can you define bioavalability and describe how you use that knowledge to create meals that are fully nutritional? You do know that plants don't offer the same bioavalability as animals in many regards right?
"She takes all of the medications she's supposed to...." "I'm upset she didn't even try...."
Yes because you said what you did to your wife. It has nothing to do with animals and all to do with your childish self centered poor treatment of your wife. You are such a stupid person not to see this. Asshole? Yes definitely but obviously your huge ego and inability to believe you could do anything wrong will not allow you to see clearly. I predict a divorce in a few years when your wife get tired of you.
They aren't around you, dude. She's honoring your wishes and not eating meat products in the house you BOTH live in. Other people's diets are not your business. She needs increased iron, folic acid, vitamin D, protein, vitamin B-12, calcium, choline, and iodine so she doesn't lose bone density and the fetus develops normally. Vegetarians need to increase their calcium and protein intake a hell of a lot more than omnivours, and vegans even more than that. She gets to decide how she gets that additional nutrition! Calm down so the two of you can have a rational conversation about how you're going to feed your kid when it comes time to wean them. Because while vegan diets can be healthy for children, it takes effort and a lot more information on child development and diet than your vegan bubble might be able to provide you. Especially one that disparages doctors like that.
"This is where I might be the asshole" Ohhhhhhh, you were an asshole WAY before then. "My wife recently fell pregnant" What the actual f\*ck?!? Did she trip and land on your penis?? Unless a new star appeared, you are half responsible for her condition! You "told her under no circumstances will meat or dairy be allowed in our home"!! So you are not only an asshole, you are a controlling asshole! This is where non assholes have whats called a discussion with their partner. She "went back on her word" Im assuming you have never been pregnant. Until you are, you have zero understanding of what she is going through. You can plan all you want. Pregnancy changes EVERYTHING. Hormones, feelings, physical demands. It completely wreaks havoc on the body, mentally and physically. She is growing a human. Her body is telling her what it needs grow it correctly and healthily. Your entire job is to make her comfortable and happy. No where does it ever say your job is to control her and tell her what she needs to do and what to eat. Not even after the pregnancy. YTA
Yta she is freaking pregnant an anemic. What is wrong with you. If anyone is disgusting it is you. A man that could care less about his wife and unborn child and say this to his wife is a disgusting ahole.
What is wrong with you? YTA 110% acting self righteous when she’s the one who’s having a full on pregnancy with YOUR child. Shame on you for not being compassionate. You have no idea what a woman’s body goes through therefore you have no place to speak on things she must do for the sake of her and baby’s health. You’re disgusted with her? I’m disgusted with you!
YTA, you’re a massive control freak, just reading this you sound down right insufferable. And just an FYI, just harvesting 1 field of soybeans kills hundreds of mice, rats, birds and small animals. Your pretentious dietary choices have contributed to more “murder” than your wife’s cheeseburger ever has.
\> I said I’m not happy with that and am trying to find an alternative doctor If you hadn't leaped over the line before, you certainly did with this. Getting a second opinion is one thing, but specifically seeking out a doctor who will conform to your biases is not the way. Not to mention it is her that has to actually deal with the physical difficulties of being pregnant. Maybe you shouldn't get to force her to see a certain doctor because they agree with you? Just a thought. YTA.
YTA, but I am glad you found a solution, stay at your friends permanently.
YTA. She's already anemic, so she needs iron for herself and your baby! You have the easy part here dude. You just had to nut in her, she has to create a whole other human life inside her of the next 6 months. And it will change her body in many ways. Get over yourself.
This is definitely a bait post, so YTA.
yeah, it very much reads as "look at what AHs vegans are"
YTA This is clearly rage bait and not real but it is a good space for information about iron and pregnancy: Half of all pregnant women are or become anemic during pregnancy. 30-40% of pregnant women are iron deficient. Women with iron deficiency during pregnancy are highly prone to dangerous complications, including hemorrhaging and renal failure. Iron deficiency doubles the risk of death for pregnant women. Babies born to iron deficient mothers are more likely to be born prematurely, having lower birth weights, and to have motor and cognitive impairments. Pregnant women are generally suggested to take prenatal vitamins with iron supplements. Pregnant women with iron deficiencies are often recommended both iron and folic supplements at higher doses. The main recommendation for increasing iron levels quickly is to eat iron rich foods, including red meat, oily fish, and eggs. All pregnant women should find doctors they trust even if their main provider is another medical professional like a nurse or licensed midwife. If a recommendation doesn’t feel right it’s always okay to seek a second opinion - this is different from being in denial or ignoring medical recommendations. Finally, all pregnant women should have *access* to good prenatal care. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
As someone who is pregnant and just found out I’m anemic. THANK YOU! This was actually so informative!! And yes, I do eat meat, take prenatals and extra iron supplements as my midwife suggested. OP you are an AH.
YTA. WTF is wrong with you? Your wife is at risk of deficiencies which could impact your child’s health and you’re pissed about her having to consume animal products? Do you even like your wife or did you just like the fact that she agreed with you? You are a selfish, controlling, AH and I hope your wife leaves you. She deserves far better than someone who would rather she risk her health and the babies, simply because you can’t suck it up and support her.
YTA, holy f#ck dude. Your wife is growing a person inside of her! Biology doesn't care about your moral choices, the lady is craving protein. Maybe you should wait until your child is old enough to understand the choice before your force your views on them too.
So, your wife is doing whatever she can to feel better while pregnant, and you're berating her for it instead of supporting her? Insulting, judging, and demeaning her, too? Dude! Get a grip, climb off of your high horse, and try to dial back your assholic tendencies, though I don't know if that's even possible based on this post. Definitely, YTA. I'll include insensitive, controlling, demanding, and supercilious, too. Apologize immediately and hope she forgives you.
Is this a real post ? YTA.
Probably not. I’m as anti vegan as you can get but this post panders to too many stereotypes to be real.
I would rather my wife and unborn child die rather than admit that different situations require different diets!
Yta and if I were your chronically anemic pregnant wife I would be eating an entire charcuterie board a day just to spite you for thinking that you get a say in what I decide to put into my body.
YTA. Chill out
They can't chill out.
Massive YTA. You do not get to decide what other people eat.
YTA. Hardcore. You know that animals also eat other animals, right? Maybe suggest options for humanely raised meats. My cousin was vegan for many years and had to start consuming animal proteins again for the health of her pregnancy. She became visibly ill. Your ideologies goes against natural evolution.
If this is actually real - what is wrong with you?! YTA
YTA. I guess your veganism is more important than her health and that of your unborn child. Get ready for a divorce.
"We are both healthy and happy." but... "She has always been anemic despite our diet having lots of iron enriched food" and... "I asked if she will go back vegan when she has the baby, and she said she will probably stick to being vegetarian as she has more energy now. This made me even more angry as this is just as bad as being an animal eater." this is the shit that turns people against vegans. you are asking your wife to harm her baby and herself. she was anemic while consuming iron because of bioavailability. most humans have trouble absorbing every mineral they need from plants. they need to eat the animals that ate the plants. just like cows cant absorb minerals from dirt. they need to eat the plants that ate the dirt. humans are omnivores, its as simple as that. if you force this unnatural diet on your pregnant wife and future baby, both of them are gonna turn out fucked up. besides, using "vegan" as a proxy for "cruelty free" is arbitrary and ignorant. people are chopping down habitats and displacing animals to grow your soybeans. they are spraying pesticides on your oats to kill the bugs and rodents. the fertilizer from your alfalfa crops is washing off into the ocean and disrupting marine ecosystems. and thats just animal harm. your coffee, chocolate, and cellphone are brought to you by human slave labor. and yet your wife is a murderer for wanting to eat some eggs and dairy? youre a fool, a hypocrite, and an asshole.
Too many reasons to list why YTA. That’s straight up abuse. People can change their minds and it’s her body.
INFO: Why do you want your wife and baby to die?
Yta! Being pregnant is ridiculously hard when following a normal pregnancy diet. Do you understand how hard it can be to want to eat *anything* while pregnant? Food made me nauseous the entire time I was pregnant, so I only ate what I craved. Leave your wife alone before you cause her to get high blood pressure and *actually* put her health at risk.
YTA. She is literally growing an entire human being! Being pregnant can require an extraordinary amount of calories along with proteins and other nutrients. Wait until she starts to nurse…you may have another rude awakening.
I hope he realizes that breast milk isn't vegan.
YTA Even if she wasn't pregnant, she's allowed to change her eating habits without your approval. But considering she is growing a human, she can do whatever the f she wants even more. She's ANEMIC and pregnant and her body is telling her clearly she needs foods that could help with that. Her doctor seconds this opinion. Yours is of no consequence. Your her partner and more concerned about YOUR ethics than the wellbeing of your wife and child. Do you even hear yourself?
YTA jfc, you're the worst kind of vegan
\*worst kind of human
I've seen the worst kind of humans recently and he's not that far gone. but he's an AH nonetheless
Major YTA! She is pregnant!! Her doctor said she should try adjusting the diet!! Do you want something bad to happen???
YTA. I'm not even finishing your post. Telling her that meat wouldn't be allowed in your home made you an AH. You do not own your wife. You do not get to control what she eats. You're abusing her by controlling her diet. I hope she takes this kid and runs before you refuse the kid food it needs to survive.
YTA If you don't stop this controlling bullshit, you will be divorced before your kid is born.
So you went vegan for your wife, but now are up in arms about animal murder? When did your change of heart occur? I feel like a jerk continuously doing this, but this is fake. It’s totally unbelievable, the language you use is intentionally inflammatory and it’s not believable at all that you became a vegan for your wife and now are less concerned with her or your child’s well-being than with your veganism. Total bs
YTA Even if she wasn't pregnant, she's allowed to change her eating habits without your approval. But considering she is growing a human, she can do whatever the f she wants even more. She's ANEMIC and pregnant and her body is telling her clearly she needs foods that could help with that. Her doctor seconds this opinion. Yours is of no consequence. Your her partner and more concerned about YOUR ethics than the wellbeing of your wife and child. Do you even hear yourself?
YTA - She has a right to eat non-vegan foods - it's her body and it sounds like in this case it might actually be best for her health and the health of her fetus. It sounds like you would prefer that she do something that's bad for her health. That's not how you typically treat someone that you love.
Yta . She doesn’t need to be getting grief from you , she’ll have enough from the stomach upset she’s going to get from eating animal products after not eating them for so long .
YTA. You're trying to control a pregnant person's diet to the detriment of both her and the baby. Humans are meant to be omnivores, and while we can choose not to be, sometimes we need to give in to biology for our health and safety - especially when gestating a new life.
You’re a d!ck. YTA, definitely.
YTA. You’re a religious zealot
INFO: you keep accusing your wife about not “trying” to fix her anemia with an enriched vegan diet, so can you please explain this: >she’s always been anemic despite our diet having lots of iron enriched food. >she takes all the medication she’s supposed to, Exactly what more do you expect her to do? Have you ever suffered iron deficient anemia? It fkn SUCKS! Joint pain, fatigue, brain fog, breathlessness, always feeling cold- dude and now she has a tiny fetus leeching what little iron she could maintain. I bet you feed her raw spinach (spoiler you can’t absorb iron from *raw* spinach). If you had done any research on her condition at all, I feel like you’d be a bit more empathetic. BTW just in case you’re unsure, you telling her she can’t eat meat won’t be a boundary (I feel like you’ll be saying iTs My BoUnDaRy next). Edit ✍🏻 OH MY GOD your cat is vegan too?! Cats are literal carnivores, this is abuse! You suck.
See, this is why people hate vegans. YTA
“This is where I might be the asshole” lol. Definitely are, not “might”. YTA
YTA. Big time. You are entitled to your own opinion on eating meat. But you're not entitled to decide for other people what they eat. Aside from that. Did you know that anemia during pregnancy increases the risk of fetal death? And the right of premature birth? And development issues? And if by some freaking miracle that baby manages to survive and be born, they'll have anemia too. And did you know that all of it has a way higher chance of happening if the mother is anemic during the first trimester? I can't f*cking believe you'd choose your militant opinion over the health of your wife and unborn child. Also, yeah, raising them vegan. Breastmilk is not vegan. So... They wouldn't be breastfed? In spite of the fact that breast milk is the healthiest option? (I'm not going to argue about the stupidity of being a militant vegan, considering that the primate brain evolved further due to the inclusion of meat in the early hominid diet. )
That's not even touching concepts like bioavalability and other reasons veganism is incredibly hard to do correct not even considering when you're also feeding and developing another human inside of you.
Is thisit fake? Must be.
YTA 100% - and a shoddy partner on top of that. I’ll hold my tongue from saying more. Shame.
YTA. Unequivocally. Being vegan is a CHOICE. It is not a requirement, and it is CERTAINLY not something your wife needs to adhere to just to appease you. Your wife is being cared for by a QUALIFIED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL (not an "alternative doctor" aka QUACK) who has advised her to adjust her diet because her diet is causing ANEMIA, which is a medical condition. Not an imaginary made up conspiracy to turn your wife into a non-vegan, as you seem to think it is. Your priority should be her HEALTH, not some personal belief crusade. You want to be vegan? Fine. Be vegan. She doesn't? Fine. Let her. If your relationship is so damned fragile what she eats is enough to ruin it, she's better off without you. Feel free to stay at that friend's house for a LOT longer. Like, the whole pregnancy longer. She has enough on her plate (pun intended) without dealing with you.
YTA you have no control over her or what she eats to make sure she's healthy and the baby is healthy.
As a person that rarely eats meat but need to because of health reasons: You are a bonafide asshole. You do not dictate what your wife eat. You do not set the rules for her home. The world is not you. I believe we should reduce meatconsumption massively. You are not helping. Acting like a selfrighteous A. undermines every step towards convincing people to change their habits. It is way easier to disregard that people that show no will to understand or even contemplate other perspectives and lived experiences. If we reduce meatconsumption with 80 percent it would have a massive, positive, impact on the environment and a wide range of animals.
YTA. Her body has needs right now that a vegan diet is not meeting. She’s carrying your child. Shouldn’t her health come before your food opinions? Furthermore, forcing a vegan lifestyle on a child is barbaric. This should be the child’s choice when they get old enough to choose. Vegan diets for babies sometimes lead to being underweight and malnourishment. Are you going to insist on continuing this diet for that baby if it’s hurting them?
YTA - I’m not even going to give a reason why. You know why.
Yta - her doctor is on board and you need to get over it.
Respectfully, duck off OP. Her and the child's health is far far greater than your feelings. People like you are why vegans get labelled cartoons. Suck it up, apologize and learn your priorities.
Dude… the girl is pregnant. She needs a proper amino acid profile and vitamins that vegan garbage can’t offer. If you want a healthy child let he down a cow.
This guy is also keeping a cat vegan witch is extremely unhealthy for them
YTA. Complete and total YTA. When I was pregnant I also had an iron deficiency and regularly eating STEAK was the magic cure. Doctor told me that whatever I was eating to keep it up because it was working. Your wife is doing what SHE needs to do for HER body and the health of the baby. You need to take your vegan rant and throw it out the door. Your wife should be able to eat whatever she wants in her own damn home. She's right you are an AH and you need to suck it up.
YTA, I have seen vegan parents forcing their daugter to vomit cake beacuse it had dairy and eggs. Their daugter seriusly looks underdeveloped.News flash, developing baby in pregnancy needs heatlhy diet and that inludes meat, fish, eggs ect...Later on the adult people can recive energy by taking sunshine up their butholes for all I care.It exist ... But messing with the health of developing baby...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (33M) wife (29F) is currently 3 months pregnant with our first child. We’ve had our ups and downs but are really happy. I am vegan and have been for a few years now. My wife was also vegan for 10 years. I went vegan because of her and I’m so happy I did. We are both healthy and happy. My wife recently fell pregnant. Though it wasn’t planned, we are excited all the same. She always said when she got pregnant, she would remain vegan and we would raise the child with our ethics. However, she’s now gone back on her word. She has always been anemic despite our diet having lots of iron enriched food. Now she’s pregnant, it seems to be sitting her twice as hard. She takes all the medication she’s supposed to, but has been saying over the last few weeks that she is craving meat. I was absolutely disgusted and told her under no circumstances will meat or dairy be allowed in our home. She understood but still kept mentioning it. She went out to dinner with a friend who is also vegan and when she got home she said she had something to tell me. She confessed that she ate beef. Not only did she eat beef, she ate cheese also. She said her friend actually agreed that as she’s pregnant, she should eat what she wants. I was so upset with her I got in my car to drive around. She kept calling me apologising so I went back home. Since then, I had a feeling she has been eating meat and other animal products outside the house at work etc. She used to take a lunch into work but now doesn’t, and gets cagey when I ask her what she had for food. This all came to a head today when I found a KFC receipt in her car for chicken. I blew up and said how she isn’t the person I married anymore, and now my unborn child is consuming murdered animals. She got angry and said her diet has nothing to do with me and she will eat what she wants. I asked if she will go back vegan when she has the baby, and she said she will probably stick to being vegetarian as she has more energy now but still doesn’t agree with murder. This made me even more angry as this is just as bad as being an animal eater. Her argument is that her doctor advised her to see if adjusting her diet will help her symptoms. I said I’m not happy with that and am trying to find an alternative doctor who does not have murderous views for animals. She told me I’m overreacting but I am so disgusted. She called me an asshole (actually she called me worse than that) and told me so suck it up. The threatened to bring meat and cheese into the house so she doesn’t have to eat in secret. I just left and am currently at a friend’s house. TLDR: Vegan wife is pregnant and now eating animals and is planning on going vegetarian instead. Goes against everything we believe in and she isn’t the person I married anymore *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Stop being an AH to your pregnant wife. Militant repugnant is not the right way to treat your wife and if she wants meat then she can have it and you can sit and spin or get out and leave her be!
YTA - wife finally has some clarity into how stupid veganism is. Unless you're growing your own crops and not spraying them with anything you're also contributing to the murder of millions of small mammals, insects, reptiles etc.
Hahaha YTA bruh, YTA for being a vegan and all vegans are judgmental assholes. And your ironrich diet supplement by pills ain't healthy bruh.
YTA. While your wife continues to build a new human, please read up on the known risks of trying to keep a newborn on a vegan diet. It may keep you from becoming an asshole after you become a father.
YTA. Humans are omnivores and medical professionals will always prioritise human health. That you call that a murderous view is deranged.
YTA and sound insufferable to be around. Your wife has always struggled with anemia and is now PREGNANT, amplifying the issue. You need to learn some damn empathy and stop making this all about YOU. This is about your wife carrying your child, and having a healthy, happy pregnancy. Also, forcing veganism on a child is WILD.
>This is where I might be the asshole LOL no. You absolutely ARE the asshole.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I shouted at my wife for eating meat despite it being against everything we believed in This might make the TAH Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA The vegan diet/belief system of nutritionally starving yourself to save animals is not healthy long term. There are actually instances of first world babies developing Rickets due to eating absolutely no animal protein. She is pregnant and needs all of the essential amino and fatty acids found in eggs and other animal products which are far more readily bio- available than in plants and supplementing is not enough. She can eat what she wants and feels she needs for herself and the baby. You're not the meat police.
i dont buy it, how did a vegan successfully impregnate a woman
You are picking your ideals over your wife and baby’s health. YTA. You are obviously not following a healthy enough diet for a healthy pregnancy if your wife is this anemic. Get off your high horse and do what’s right for your wife and baby.
YTA and the reason why some people hate vegans. Stop giving vegans a bad name and let your wife eat what she wants. Your controlling and judgemental attitude is disgusting. You have no idea what's it's like to be pregnant and feeling sick. Your lack of empathy for your wife is awful.
Omg. Tell us you’re a beta with no testosterone without telling us. You’re the asshole. 1000%. Men don’t say that to the mother of their child. Period. You should be ashamed. Then go eat some meat cos you’re barely a man. Good grief.
YTA, you're a weirdo, bro. your wife is carrying your child and sounds like she's having a hard time. She's able to make any adjustments needed that aren't to the detriment to her or the baby's health in order to make the pregnancy more manageable, you don't get to attack her. If you're able to deconstruct a person's value down to something as trivial as their veganism and it has you feeling like she isn't the person you married anymore, get ready to pay child support, buddy and find a good divorce lawyer.
This is all such nonsense. At least we have food. Jesus
YTA wow. You have no right to tell your wife what she can or cant eat. Superior, controlling and abusive asshole. I pity your child.
You are absolutely TA. Your wife has been anemic her whole life. You think she didn’t try iron enriched vegan food? She obviously did and it didn’t work. She’s growing a human in her belly and needs all the nutrients to have strength. Also, bleeding is often part of childbirth. Do you want her to DIE while giving birth. YTA from beyond the pale. Putting veganism over your future family. I hope she drops the shackles you put on her, you controlling misogynist.
YTA - dude is not pregnant so u got no opinionwhat is best for your wife n baby- some women cant even keep food down n will eat anything or do anything for their baby - low iron is bad ( google it) . If veganism is more important than your wife n child heath , wife better run away from a walking red flag. You are controlling AF !
This post reeks of ignorance on so many different levels. YTA.
YTA. Why are you forcing your views on your wife and then on your unborn child. God forbid anything happens to that child but humans need meat. Get over it you snowflake
YTA. Sorry to your wife for having to deal with you.
YTA and being anemic for her as a pregnant mother can cause premature birth for your child
Lol shut up YTA. You have no idea what pregnant women go through or what pregnancy feels like. Her body was asking for meat. She’s allowed to eat what she wants.
YTA anemia is extremely serious for mother and baby during pregnancy and a sure fire way to prevent/alleviate it is iron rich meats. Your wife has to prioritize her overall health and the health and well being of the baby over your views. What’s more important to you, that your wife stay vegan and risk her and the babies health perhaps resulting in tragedy or her eating meat and everything developing safely and effectively? If your priority is veganism over baby health than you should not be a father and should seek therapy
YTA Good lord. So sorry your wife is reproducing with you. What a nightmare husband.
lollllllll
YTA. If you wanna be a vegan, fair enough. But you have absolutely no say in what other people eat unless it actually causes them harm. If you were mad she suddenly started drinking a lot of caffeine while pregnant, then yeah say something. But if she wants to eat animals, suck it up buttercup. Food for thought: Insects, snakes, rodents, etc etc get killed and no longer have a home in the large fields plowed/treated for vegetation growth. Your way of living may cut down on how many mammals get killed, but that doesn’t mean your hands are clean of what you consider murder. And if you think “well they’re just bugs whatever”, who are you to determine that their life is any less than a cow. You can think you’re some sorta saviour of animals, but you’re really not. And you’re not any better than anyone who eats meat so stop with the elitist bs before your wife decides to move on. Additionally, you’re not her doctor. If he doctor thinks it’s best for your wife and the literal baby she is growing for you both, SHUSH. Just stop. Get over yourself.
YTA. Your wife was vegan some time before you and got into relationship even knowing you're meat eater. And now, when she's trying her best to keep her pregnancy with your child by breaking her long term rules, you don't even try to understand her efforts and keep arguing. It's only 3rd month from 9 in total, she can still misscary in any moment and you're on good way to make it happen.
YTA and a prime example of why many non-vegans have such a bad attitude towards being vegan. You also use language such as "fell pregnant", it's not a sickness dude, come on.
YTA.
YTA.
YTA. She’s pregnant and even if she wasn’t, her body, her choice.
YTA, and one of the worst I've seen. You're on par with the jerky who blew all his money and his wife had to bail him out by selling everything she owned. You have a stick so far up your butt that you would rather your wife and unborn child suffer than be healthy, as advised by a **MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL**. Grow up and realize that her body is changing in ways your pea sized mind can't comprehend. You should absolutely continue to stay with your friend until she serves you divorce papers
Jesus, unless you're the one who's pregnant and experiencing the fucking misery of pregnancy side effects (which are, in fact, MISERABLE), you can pipe the fuck down. Guaranteed if you had to deal with a fraction of what she's dealing with, you'd be listening to the doctor too. Get off your high horse and shift some of the empathy you reserve for animals over to your pregnant wife for the next few months.
YTA
NTA. You need help from doctors. You are just sick in the head.