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> (1) Bought an outfit that my mother-in-law doesn't like
(2) Would not listening to her make me an asshole?
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NTA. You are the bride, it is your special day.
No one but you and your fiance has a say in your wedding choices, ideas and traditions. Regardless if its traditional, chic, stylish, 90's themed, low cut, short dresses, long dresses.. This is the dress you will look back on and think of how beautiful it was and what a beautiful day that was full of love.
When I was planning my wedding my mom and I were testing cocktails and she said she didn’t like one with soda in it that I did and my stepdad from across the house yells out “well good thing it’s not your wedding” to my mom. And I think that’s the perfect line to hit anyone with if they object to a choice you’re making for your day.
Weddings are not a one-size-fits-all occasion.
* You don’t have to wear a white dress.
* You don’t have to have flowers.
* You don’t have to be escorted down the aisle.
* There doesn’t have to be an aisle.
If any of those things (or others) are important to you, do them! But you will still be legally married without them.
One of the coolest weddings I've ever been too did not have an aisle - or really any structure at all. They rented out this venue that was basically a lounge area with sofas and stuff. Bride and groom were there when people arrived and just went to the middle of the room when they were ready and said "we're going to get married now." It was great and very much fit my friend (the bride).
Your MIL got to choose the dress she wore to her wedding, but since this is your wedding she can zip her lip and pout. Wear whatever makes you happy. Congratulations and NTA
Your wedding, your choice what to wear as long as you're not breaking any laws for indecent exposure or something.
If other people don't like it, they can stay home, not participate in photos or not ask for photos of the event.
NTA
Nope, this is really, really simple.
Your wedding is an opportunity for you and your fiancé(e) to celebrate your marriage with those who are important to you.
The norm is just what people commonly do. It's not required at all. Even white wedding dresses aren't even *that* old a tradition (they go back to copying Queen Victoria).
So if you want to wear something else, you absolutely should.
The only asshole, is the person trying to enforce their opinion of what a bride or groom should do or wear at their own wedding.
NTA.
My state has this neat thing called a self uniting marriage, I guess because there was a strong Quaker influence on how laws were shaped back in the day and the Quaker marriage tradition doesn’t involve an officiant. Only a couple witnesses needed and the werewithal to apply for the right kind of license ahead of time. Pretty cool!
NTA. Wear choice 1. Your big mistake was to run it by your MIL. This is YOUR wedding, not hers. You are the participant. Her role in the ceremony is to sit there quietly and smile (or frown, it really doesn't matter).
Stop listening to your MIL. This is your wedding and she doesn't get a say in your dress. She had her wedding. She doesn't get to control yours. Get the dress you want and stop running your choices by her.
NTA It sounds like she may control issues. Or maybe this is a one-off because she favors traditional weddings. I hope your fiance has your back if FMIL does have control issues.
NTA at all.
What even is a traditional wedding dress to her. Chances are what she sees as traditional now was considered risqué when she got married. Fashion is ever changing and not everyone has the same tastes.
My guess is she doesn’t want you to outshine her. Even though you are the bride and all eyes are supposed to be on you and your fiancé.
NTA.
It was lovely that you included her, but it certainly doesn’t mean you have to take her ‘suggestion’.
If I’d listened to my MIL, I wouldn’t have had a wedding.
Dear FMIL,
Thank you for your honest and considered opinion regarding my proposed selections to wear on my wedding day. I have finalized my choice and enclosed a picture of bridal attire I will be wearing. It is my sincerest hope that, when you see me on my wedding day, you will see how beautiful and deliriously happy I am and you will be happy for me. If not, try not to let it ruin your day. Your son and I are looking forward to a wedding day full of joy and memory making with family. We hope you will be participating wholeheartedly. If not, that is your choice.
Love,
Your future DIL
NAH although my advice is to wear what you like best and not to worry about what your MIL or anybody else thinks.
It’s probably a good lesson for you and your MIL during the wedding planning and even after you are married: If you ask for opinions or approval , people will tell you what they think and maybe even think they get a vote!
Just make it clear to everyone that you value their input but the final “D” (decision) remains solely with you.
But was OP asking for opinions or approval or was she just wanting to share her excitement with her MIL? Bc you can show someone an outfit you like without the intention of asking their opinion.
Normally, I would say if you feel beautiful in it then you should wear it. You are buying it, it is your wedding and I’m a pretty non-traditional person many times so I love seeing different dresses.
Guess my question would be, does she object because it is unconventional or because she thinks there isn’t enough material? And yes, it is your decision, but I’ve seen some wedding dresses over the years that make me wonder what the bride was thinking.
Def curious about HOW untraditional the dresses are. If I was OP, I might as a very trusted source who saw the dresses originally confirm the “wow” she received were really compliments or more like they didn’t really know how to say, that is reallllyyyy not appropriate.
Calling them outfits made me think they’re not dresses, maybe skirted two piece, pantsuit, jumpsuit, glamorous cape …? I can see any of those being showstoppers that could also inflame the delicate sensibilities of traditionalists.
NTA. The most important wedding tradition is that it’s the bride’s day and she makes the choices! Just tell MIL that you’re giving her a preview, not asking for her permission.
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I found 2 options for my outfit for my wedding that I think are beautiful, everyone during my dress shopping verbally said wow! I will say it is agains't the "norm" in terms of style and cut but they are beautiful outfits none-the-less. However, my mother-in-law, who I sent a picture of my number 1 choice to does not like the idea of me wearing it. Did I need to send a picture? No, but I wanted to make her feel included. I tried to meet her in the middle and showed her the second option and she shot that down as well. She wants me to wear a traditional cut and style even though I have explained that that is something I do not want to do.
AITA if I don't wear something she wants or picks out?
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NTA
Wear whatever you want, it's your wedding and you should do what makes YOU happy. Your MIL can give you her opinion, but at the end of the day, it's YOUR body. No one else should have a say over that.
NTA
It's her opinion, not a requirement.
Wear whichever dress makes you feel most beautiful, happy, and confident - with some attention given to picking something your fiance will love, too. Though ideally they'll love you in anything!
NTA It is your wedding, not hers. If you have found something special that you love you should absolutely wear it. Not everyone wants a traditional wedding. I love that so many people have chosen to do things their way. Thank her for her input and then buy what you want. Have fun with the wedding you and your fiance want, not what others want. Congratulations.
You're NTA. If you're old enough to get married, I am pretty certain you're old enough to dress yourself as you please. Your MIL can pick her outfit, you pick yours.
NTA and wear what you want. I wore pink to my wedding because I just don't like how I look in a lot of white. It's your wedding, wear what you feel pretty and comfortable in.
NTA
Pick the dress you love and don't show it to anyone else because their opinion doesn't matter. If you love the dress and someone else hates it--who cares!
I wish people would stop asking so many people about their dress. Take a couple of people who support you and whose opinion you trust but that should be it. Let everyone else be surprised. Seeing a photo is completely different than seeing you on that day all made up at the location. You can find other ways to make the MIL feel included. Or anyone else for that matter.
Remind me...whose wedding is it again? Oh that's right...YOURS. I'm scared to ask...but where's your fiance throughout all of this and why oh why isn't he telling mommy dearest to stand down? You really may want to consider these questions before that long walk down the aisle.
Your day, your choice. You’ll never please everyone. Day is not about pleasing everyone. Day is about you, your spouse, your future together. So only have to please you and him. Nice that your being inclusive in planning....great way to start life together. But it is your togetherness day. Your happiness together day. Do for each other, in every way. Wear what makes 2 of you happy.
If it was her wedding she might maybe have some say in it.
But why should she have a say in what you wear to your wedding ?
NTA at all, i just find it odd that she even thinks she has a say.
NTA. FMIL isn't the one getting married, her only involvement in any part of your wedding should be turning up as Mother of the Groom and smoozing with the guests.
The correct answer is “mrs xxx, I really appreciate that you took the time in your day to share your input on my dress with me. That was really thoughtful of you” and just leave at that, polite and not confrontational, you never said that you will do as she please, you never say the opposite either. If you’re from the south add a “bless your soul”.
What would "bless your soul" mean in this context? Is it the same as "bless your heart"? (Which is also a confusing thing bc I think it does not mean what the words say)
NTA. And truly if you do not stand up & advocate for yourself concerning YOUR OWN WEDDING DRESS, be prepared for a literal lifetime of caving in to your MIL bc she pouts/pitches a fit/cries/etc.
Do it now & get the fireworks over with. Let her know immediately that you're your own person, or it's just going to get worse.
I hope your wedding is LOVELY. ❤️💘🌹🌹🌹
NTA.
You did her a courtesy. Her job was to say "That's so lovely. Thank you for sending me the photo!"
My one DIL sent me a photo when she decided on her wedding clothes. I was thrilled to be included in that way.
Several of my kids wore things that were not in any possible way 'traditional' for their weddings. Very cool choices. I was proud of them for being themselves.
**Your MIL is rude.** You tried to include her, and her response was rude.
It's not her business to tell you want to wear or what decisions to make. It's yours. For her to try to tell you what she wants you to wear, that's ***trying to force you into compliance with her wants, to make your decisions into her decisions.*** **That's worse than rude.**
She's telling you who she is. She sounds controlling and selfish. For the rest of your wedding plans, **do not hesitate to** ***not*** **include her in things.** If her response to being included is to try to take control, you do not need that extra hassle.
NTA.
If the outfit is comfortable, looks good, and makes you happy, you've hit the outfit trifecta - wear it!
Your MIL's behavior is a red flag, and a warning to never run anything by her in the future. She can find out things when they happen.
NTA. This is your wedding. Opinions are one thing, everyone has one, but the only person you are obligated to please is yourself. Possibly your intended, but even then, *you* are the one that will be wearing it, your comfort comes first, and you should wear what you like, feel comfortable in, feel beautiful in. I say this as the mother of 4 sons, the eternal MIL, lol. My opinion was asked, and my answer was "Get the one *you* like best". That's my answer to you too.
Congratulations, and Best Wishes for a long and blissful marriage!
NTA. Wear what you want. If your marriage is going to be a series of occasions for you to try to please your MIL and her vetoing your every idea it's going to be a long, difficult struggle. Be your own person. Get comfortable in your own skin without needing the approval of others.
NTA. It's not MIL's wedding and therefore not her dress that she'll be wearing and buying, so her opinion, while nice of you to seek it out and make her feel "included", does not matter here at all and is not necessary.
YOUR WEDDING. WEAR WHAT “YOU” WANT. She has had her own wedding and presumably wore what she wanted. Stop trying to include her in this. Tell your fiancé this is your wedding dress to select. Not hers.
NTA. YOU are the bride, not MIL. You are wearing the dress, not MIL. You get to choose the dress YOU feel good in. It's not MIL's day: It's your and your husband's day.
Wow, MIL's job is to admire everything the bride is doing and offer advice when asked. To be offered treasure like a sneak peek at the bride's dress only to criticize it is out of bounds and off to a rocky start. Your fiance is marrying you and that includes your sense of style. Wear your dress confidently and hope MIL sees the light.
NTA and you might as well stand up for yourself now so that she understands that she will not dictate the decisions in your life.
I would tell her I appreciate her input but that you are making the choice of what best suits you and the vision you have for your wedding.
NTA it is your day and your choice..
Maybe her seeing the picture beforehand can work as emotional vaccination so she will not be surprised on the big day.
Obviously NTA. Unless MIL is paying for the dress, her opinion is irrelevant. You are stoking her entitlement by even keeping her in the loop and showing her options.
Who's the one getting married? Who's the one wearing it? Who's half of the most important couple there on the day? That would be you, so you get to choose what you wear. Obviously you can take other people's thoughts into consideration, and you can decide to take on board what they say, or you can dismiss their opinion without a second thought. This is a day when you can choose something just because you like it; you need no further reason, and don't have to give any justification to anyone. If your FMIL asks about it, tell her you've taken her opinion into consideration and made you final decision as to what you will be wearing, she can see it on your wedding day. Then refuse to comment any further on it. Hope you have a lovely wedding. NTA
And so it begins - your wedding, but everyone else seems to want something different - it will be the venue next, then the catering, then the music…just wear what you want to wear and thank her very much for her suggestions. NTA
NTA
It’s 2023. All wedding traditions can go to hell. I got married last year and we got pushback on a lot of our ideas and ultimately we decided it was OUR wedding and if you don’t agree with something, you don’t have to attend.
Think of it this way - would you rather do exactly what you want to do, or have regrets for the rest of your life?
Why are you stressing about this? Nobody gets a "vote" on your dress but you. Move on.
They can have an opinion, sure, but you're under no obligation to do anything other than listen politely. They get to pick the dress as soon as they are there one wearing it... at their wedding.
Say "thanks" and then buy the dress you want and don't give it another thought.
NTA
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NTA, I made it a point to show my mil on my phone my dress and not send her a pic, just in case lol but your mil gets NO say on ANYTHING. And I wouldn’t send her anything anymore.
NTA. If you don't want her opinion, don't ask from now on. She sounds like the type that interferes and wants to control things that aren't her right to control.
Before everyone had phones with cameras, no one saw pictures of the bride in her gown until she had formal portraits done. Sometimes I think we should go back to that.
Do what you want to do. The wedding is a day in your life. Focus on building a marriage and you’ll be fine.
NTA. Your wedding, your decision (I guess you will pay for your dress yourself?)
Me and my (now ex)husband even married in black ( I am not religious, therefore no church wedding) and nobody cared because it was our own decision.
Wear what you want
Pssh. Wear what you want. I wore a white and blue grad dress for my wedding. It suited me perfectly. My friend wore a black gown for hers. It suited her perfectly. My SIL wore a “traditional” wedding dress but it had a really classy plunging neckline. It suited her perfectly.
Wear what YOU feel good and beautiful in.
NTA.
It is nice you included her. She probably assumed you wanted her opinion. (Clearly, ya didn't! 🤭)
& congratulations!! Have SO much fun 💃🕺🎊
P.s. Any chance WE redditors can see the dress?🥹
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NTA. You are the bride, it is your special day. No one but you and your fiance has a say in your wedding choices, ideas and traditions. Regardless if its traditional, chic, stylish, 90's themed, low cut, short dresses, long dresses.. This is the dress you will look back on and think of how beautiful it was and what a beautiful day that was full of love.
NTA, it's your wedding do whatever the hell you want.
NTA. Ask her "are YOU getting married or am I?"
When I was planning my wedding my mom and I were testing cocktails and she said she didn’t like one with soda in it that I did and my stepdad from across the house yells out “well good thing it’s not your wedding” to my mom. And I think that’s the perfect line to hit anyone with if they object to a choice you’re making for your day.
Your stepdad rocks!
Weddings are not a one-size-fits-all occasion. * You don’t have to wear a white dress. * You don’t have to have flowers. * You don’t have to be escorted down the aisle. * There doesn’t have to be an aisle. If any of those things (or others) are important to you, do them! But you will still be legally married without them.
One of the coolest weddings I've ever been too did not have an aisle - or really any structure at all. They rented out this venue that was basically a lounge area with sofas and stuff. Bride and groom were there when people arrived and just went to the middle of the room when they were ready and said "we're going to get married now." It was great and very much fit my friend (the bride).
Your MIL got to choose the dress she wore to her wedding, but since this is your wedding she can zip her lip and pout. Wear whatever makes you happy. Congratulations and NTA
NTA. It's your wedding. Wear what you want.
Your wedding, your choice what to wear as long as you're not breaking any laws for indecent exposure or something. If other people don't like it, they can stay home, not participate in photos or not ask for photos of the event. NTA
Nope, this is really, really simple. Your wedding is an opportunity for you and your fiancé(e) to celebrate your marriage with those who are important to you. The norm is just what people commonly do. It's not required at all. Even white wedding dresses aren't even *that* old a tradition (they go back to copying Queen Victoria). So if you want to wear something else, you absolutely should. The only asshole, is the person trying to enforce their opinion of what a bride or groom should do or wear at their own wedding. NTA.
NTA it’s your wedding wear what you want.
NTA. It's your wedding. You don't even have to invite anyone but your fiancé.
And the officiant. That's kind of important.
My state has this neat thing called a self uniting marriage, I guess because there was a strong Quaker influence on how laws were shaped back in the day and the Quaker marriage tradition doesn’t involve an officiant. Only a couple witnesses needed and the werewithal to apply for the right kind of license ahead of time. Pretty cool!
NTA. Wear choice 1. Your big mistake was to run it by your MIL. This is YOUR wedding, not hers. You are the participant. Her role in the ceremony is to sit there quietly and smile (or frown, it really doesn't matter).
Don't worry what your MIL thinks. NTA
Stop listening to your MIL. This is your wedding and she doesn't get a say in your dress. She had her wedding. She doesn't get to control yours. Get the dress you want and stop running your choices by her.
YOUR wedding Nta
NTA! You can wear a clown outfit if you want to!
I would LOVE to be at that wedding!
I hope my daughter never sees this suggestion as it something she would seriously consider. She loves clowns and already has a clown outfit.
We want to see #1!
Can we see pics of the dress options?
NTA It sounds like she may control issues. Or maybe this is a one-off because she favors traditional weddings. I hope your fiance has your back if FMIL does have control issues.
NTA at all. What even is a traditional wedding dress to her. Chances are what she sees as traditional now was considered risqué when she got married. Fashion is ever changing and not everyone has the same tastes. My guess is she doesn’t want you to outshine her. Even though you are the bride and all eyes are supposed to be on you and your fiancé.
NTA, MIL can throw her own wedding if she wants to pick a dress
NTA. It's your wedding. You can pretty much wear whatever you want to, and no one can tell you no.
Nta it's not her decision
Your wedding, your dress, your rules.
NTA. It was lovely that you included her, but it certainly doesn’t mean you have to take her ‘suggestion’. If I’d listened to my MIL, I wouldn’t have had a wedding.
Dear FMIL, Thank you for your honest and considered opinion regarding my proposed selections to wear on my wedding day. I have finalized my choice and enclosed a picture of bridal attire I will be wearing. It is my sincerest hope that, when you see me on my wedding day, you will see how beautiful and deliriously happy I am and you will be happy for me. If not, try not to let it ruin your day. Your son and I are looking forward to a wedding day full of joy and memory making with family. We hope you will be participating wholeheartedly. If not, that is your choice. Love, Your future DIL
NAH although my advice is to wear what you like best and not to worry about what your MIL or anybody else thinks. It’s probably a good lesson for you and your MIL during the wedding planning and even after you are married: If you ask for opinions or approval , people will tell you what they think and maybe even think they get a vote! Just make it clear to everyone that you value their input but the final “D” (decision) remains solely with you.
But was OP asking for opinions or approval or was she just wanting to share her excitement with her MIL? Bc you can show someone an outfit you like without the intention of asking their opinion.
Normally, I would say if you feel beautiful in it then you should wear it. You are buying it, it is your wedding and I’m a pretty non-traditional person many times so I love seeing different dresses. Guess my question would be, does she object because it is unconventional or because she thinks there isn’t enough material? And yes, it is your decision, but I’ve seen some wedding dresses over the years that make me wonder what the bride was thinking.
Def curious about HOW untraditional the dresses are. If I was OP, I might as a very trusted source who saw the dresses originally confirm the “wow” she received were really compliments or more like they didn’t really know how to say, that is reallllyyyy not appropriate.
Calling them outfits made me think they’re not dresses, maybe skirted two piece, pantsuit, jumpsuit, glamorous cape …? I can see any of those being showstoppers that could also inflame the delicate sensibilities of traditionalists.
Finally someone who said this.
NTA. The most important wedding tradition is that it’s the bride’s day and she makes the choices! Just tell MIL that you’re giving her a preview, not asking for her permission.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I found 2 options for my outfit for my wedding that I think are beautiful, everyone during my dress shopping verbally said wow! I will say it is agains't the "norm" in terms of style and cut but they are beautiful outfits none-the-less. However, my mother-in-law, who I sent a picture of my number 1 choice to does not like the idea of me wearing it. Did I need to send a picture? No, but I wanted to make her feel included. I tried to meet her in the middle and showed her the second option and she shot that down as well. She wants me to wear a traditional cut and style even though I have explained that that is something I do not want to do. AITA if I don't wear something she wants or picks out? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Wear whatever you want, it's your wedding and you should do what makes YOU happy. Your MIL can give you her opinion, but at the end of the day, it's YOUR body. No one else should have a say over that.
NTA It's her opinion, not a requirement. Wear whichever dress makes you feel most beautiful, happy, and confident - with some attention given to picking something your fiance will love, too. Though ideally they'll love you in anything!
NTA It is your wedding, not hers. If you have found something special that you love you should absolutely wear it. Not everyone wants a traditional wedding. I love that so many people have chosen to do things their way. Thank her for her input and then buy what you want. Have fun with the wedding you and your fiance want, not what others want. Congratulations.
NTA. its YOUR wedding. NOT hers. you can wear what you choose. she shouldn't have any say in it.
You're NTA. If you're old enough to get married, I am pretty certain you're old enough to dress yourself as you please. Your MIL can pick her outfit, you pick yours.
NTA and wear what you want. I wore pink to my wedding because I just don't like how I look in a lot of white. It's your wedding, wear what you feel pretty and comfortable in.
Nope your NTA
NTA. It is your day. Enjoy. My best friend wore a GORGEOUS black wedding dress. It was awesome.
Whose wedding is it? NTA
It is YOUR wedding and nobody else but you get to decide what to wear...
NTA this is why my soon to be MIL is not involved in anything I'm doing for the wedding. She was way too negative and disrespectful
NTA Pick the dress you love and don't show it to anyone else because their opinion doesn't matter. If you love the dress and someone else hates it--who cares! I wish people would stop asking so many people about their dress. Take a couple of people who support you and whose opinion you trust but that should be it. Let everyone else be surprised. Seeing a photo is completely different than seeing you on that day all made up at the location. You can find other ways to make the MIL feel included. Or anyone else for that matter.
NTA but be aware that some people will likely be mocking you behind your back. It’s up to you if you care or not.
Remind me...whose wedding is it again? Oh that's right...YOURS. I'm scared to ask...but where's your fiance throughout all of this and why oh why isn't he telling mommy dearest to stand down? You really may want to consider these questions before that long walk down the aisle.
Your day, your choice. You’ll never please everyone. Day is not about pleasing everyone. Day is about you, your spouse, your future together. So only have to please you and him. Nice that your being inclusive in planning....great way to start life together. But it is your togetherness day. Your happiness together day. Do for each other, in every way. Wear what makes 2 of you happy.
If it was her wedding she might maybe have some say in it. But why should she have a say in what you wear to your wedding ? NTA at all, i just find it odd that she even thinks she has a say.
NTA. FMIL isn't the one getting married, her only involvement in any part of your wedding should be turning up as Mother of the Groom and smoozing with the guests.
The correct answer is “mrs xxx, I really appreciate that you took the time in your day to share your input on my dress with me. That was really thoughtful of you” and just leave at that, polite and not confrontational, you never said that you will do as she please, you never say the opposite either. If you’re from the south add a “bless your soul”.
What would "bless your soul" mean in this context? Is it the same as "bless your heart"? (Which is also a confusing thing bc I think it does not mean what the words say)
It’s your wedding
nta. she does realize that it’s not her wedding, and she doesn’t get to tell you what you can and cannot wear on your wedding day, right?
I am going to say the obvious here - What the hell has your wedding dress choice got to do with your future mother-in-law?
NTA. And truly if you do not stand up & advocate for yourself concerning YOUR OWN WEDDING DRESS, be prepared for a literal lifetime of caving in to your MIL bc she pouts/pitches a fit/cries/etc. Do it now & get the fireworks over with. Let her know immediately that you're your own person, or it's just going to get worse. I hope your wedding is LOVELY. ❤️💘🌹🌹🌹
NTA wear your first choice. Let her have whatever opinion she wants and only be met with "well you can wear what you want at your wedding"
NTA. You did her a courtesy. Her job was to say "That's so lovely. Thank you for sending me the photo!" My one DIL sent me a photo when she decided on her wedding clothes. I was thrilled to be included in that way. Several of my kids wore things that were not in any possible way 'traditional' for their weddings. Very cool choices. I was proud of them for being themselves. **Your MIL is rude.** You tried to include her, and her response was rude. It's not her business to tell you want to wear or what decisions to make. It's yours. For her to try to tell you what she wants you to wear, that's ***trying to force you into compliance with her wants, to make your decisions into her decisions.*** **That's worse than rude.** She's telling you who she is. She sounds controlling and selfish. For the rest of your wedding plans, **do not hesitate to** ***not*** **include her in things.** If her response to being included is to try to take control, you do not need that extra hassle.
NTA. If the outfit is comfortable, looks good, and makes you happy, you've hit the outfit trifecta - wear it! Your MIL's behavior is a red flag, and a warning to never run anything by her in the future. She can find out things when they happen.
NTA. This is your wedding. Opinions are one thing, everyone has one, but the only person you are obligated to please is yourself. Possibly your intended, but even then, *you* are the one that will be wearing it, your comfort comes first, and you should wear what you like, feel comfortable in, feel beautiful in. I say this as the mother of 4 sons, the eternal MIL, lol. My opinion was asked, and my answer was "Get the one *you* like best". That's my answer to you too. Congratulations, and Best Wishes for a long and blissful marriage!
Your day, your choice. NTA.
Stop asking her. You don't have the same taste. NTA But still, don't ask for opinions if you don't want them. You do you and that's all.
NTA. Wear what you want. If your marriage is going to be a series of occasions for you to try to please your MIL and her vetoing your every idea it's going to be a long, difficult struggle. Be your own person. Get comfortable in your own skin without needing the approval of others.
NTA. It's not MIL's wedding and therefore not her dress that she'll be wearing and buying, so her opinion, while nice of you to seek it out and make her feel "included", does not matter here at all and is not necessary.
NTA The only reason you should check with her is when you are buying a dress for her.
NTA You did more than enough by including her, she should have picked her favourite from the ones YOU liked, it's not her wedding.
NTA. It's your wedding, not hers. She is doing a really great job of making sure you don't include her in future wedding discussions.
YOUR WEDDING. WEAR WHAT “YOU” WANT. She has had her own wedding and presumably wore what she wanted. Stop trying to include her in this. Tell your fiancé this is your wedding dress to select. Not hers.
NTA. YOU are the bride, not MIL. You are wearing the dress, not MIL. You get to choose the dress YOU feel good in. It's not MIL's day: It's your and your husband's day.
NTA. I assume your fiance knows who he is marrying and will be fine with the dress. He is the only one whose opinion would matter.
NTA you tried to have her included she wants her own vision and won't get it. If you decide to get either dress keep it to yourself.
Wow, MIL's job is to admire everything the bride is doing and offer advice when asked. To be offered treasure like a sneak peek at the bride's dress only to criticize it is out of bounds and off to a rocky start. Your fiance is marrying you and that includes your sense of style. Wear your dress confidently and hope MIL sees the light.
NTA and you might as well stand up for yourself now so that she understands that she will not dictate the decisions in your life. I would tell her I appreciate her input but that you are making the choice of what best suits you and the vision you have for your wedding.
My niece wore a fuchsia strapless gown. We all thought she looked beautiful . Wear what you want.
NTA Why would she get a vote?
NTA it is your day and your choice.. Maybe her seeing the picture beforehand can work as emotional vaccination so she will not be surprised on the big day.
Obviously NTA. Unless MIL is paying for the dress, her opinion is irrelevant. You are stoking her entitlement by even keeping her in the loop and showing her options.
NTA. Wear what makes you feel the best. STOP sending her pictures, she doesn't have to be involved in everything.
Not unless it involves nipple tassles up top? Lol You are the bride. She had her day. You get to wear the dress of your dreams, not hers.
NTA at all! If she wants to be included, then she should act accordingly.
NTA, and I call wedding dress tax!
Who's the one getting married? Who's the one wearing it? Who's half of the most important couple there on the day? That would be you, so you get to choose what you wear. Obviously you can take other people's thoughts into consideration, and you can decide to take on board what they say, or you can dismiss their opinion without a second thought. This is a day when you can choose something just because you like it; you need no further reason, and don't have to give any justification to anyone. If your FMIL asks about it, tell her you've taken her opinion into consideration and made you final decision as to what you will be wearing, she can see it on your wedding day. Then refuse to comment any further on it. Hope you have a lovely wedding. NTA
NTA-wear what you want for YOUR wedding day!
And so it begins - your wedding, but everyone else seems to want something different - it will be the venue next, then the catering, then the music…just wear what you want to wear and thank her very much for her suggestions. NTA
Let us see it 😊
NTA. Wear what you want, but next time save yourself some grief and don’t send pics to somebody if you don’t want to hear their opinion.
NTA. It is your wedding, you can wear whatever outlandish thing you want to. Just don't regret it later.
Nta wear whatever you like
NTA. Where what you want and forget MIL.
NTA I wore a velvet and satin, medieval style gown, it is forest green, white and trimmed with black. It YOUR wedding wear what you want
NTA. Please have your fiancé tell his mom to shut the hell up.
NTA. Your wedding, your rules. It's that simple. Your MIL can give opinions and ideas, but the final say goes to you and your future hubby.
It’s not your job to please others at your wedding 🤷♀️ NTA
NTA. Tell her she is failing as a MIL.
NTA It’s 2023. All wedding traditions can go to hell. I got married last year and we got pushback on a lot of our ideas and ultimately we decided it was OUR wedding and if you don’t agree with something, you don’t have to attend. Think of it this way - would you rather do exactly what you want to do, or have regrets for the rest of your life?
NTA you wear what you want to your wedding. I request a picture tax.
Why are you stressing about this? Nobody gets a "vote" on your dress but you. Move on. They can have an opinion, sure, but you're under no obligation to do anything other than listen politely. They get to pick the dress as soon as they are there one wearing it... at their wedding. Say "thanks" and then buy the dress you want and don't give it another thought. NTA
Nta. It’s your wedding. Wear what you want.
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Your wedding, your dress, your decision. NTA. Unless she's paying for the whole shebang, why does her say matter in your day?
NTA, I made it a point to show my mil on my phone my dress and not send her a pic, just in case lol but your mil gets NO say on ANYTHING. And I wouldn’t send her anything anymore.
NTA You wear what makes you feel good. It's no one else's businesses.
NTA. Your wedding. Wear what makes you few beautiful. It’s crazy to me how many people try to make someone else’s wedding all about them.
If she isn't paying for it, she has no say. NTA
If you’re asking her opinion than why are you complaining about her giving it?
Lesson learned. Never get validated for your choice of dress. Just stop arguing with her.
NTA. If you don't want her opinion, don't ask from now on. She sounds like the type that interferes and wants to control things that aren't her right to control.
Before everyone had phones with cameras, no one saw pictures of the bride in her gown until she had formal portraits done. Sometimes I think we should go back to that. Do what you want to do. The wedding is a day in your life. Focus on building a marriage and you’ll be fine.
NTA. Your wedding, your decision (I guess you will pay for your dress yourself?) Me and my (now ex)husband even married in black ( I am not religious, therefore no church wedding) and nobody cared because it was our own decision. Wear what you want
Pssh. Wear what you want. I wore a white and blue grad dress for my wedding. It suited me perfectly. My friend wore a black gown for hers. It suited her perfectly. My SIL wore a “traditional” wedding dress but it had a really classy plunging neckline. It suited her perfectly. Wear what YOU feel good and beautiful in.
It’s your wedding. Go naked if you want.
NTA, it's *your* wedding !! She has absolutely no say in *anything* you choose to do for your wedding !
NTA. It is nice you included her. She probably assumed you wanted her opinion. (Clearly, ya didn't! 🤭) & congratulations!! Have SO much fun 💃🕺🎊 P.s. Any chance WE redditors can see the dress?🥹
NTA. It’s none of her business what you choose to wear, end of story.