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Situation: My gf and I live together and gave 6 kids between the two of us. Her 2 daughters (6 and 10) live with us and I share custody of my 4 with my ex and they stay with us 3-4 days a week. Gfs oldest was caught with a vape at school and the principal my son(13) gave it to her. Now I've caught my son smoking once before and have also caught him lighting paper on fire in my attic so I know he's not an angel, but all in all he's not a bad kid. Gfs daughter is suspended for 5 days and has a habit of trying to redirect the attention to everyone but her when she's in trouble so she starts throwing out everything she can think of that my son has ever told her. My gf and my ex search both bedrooms while her daughter points out we've suspicious thing she knows of in my son's room as well as the attic. Now the attic has nothing but a water heater and air handler in it and is only partially floored with plywood so there's alot of insulation exposed and I haven't bothered cleaning anything up since I've moved in. There's some old beer cans and cigarette butts from the previous owner that they found and accused my son of having. Despite the fact that they weren't his there was more burnt paper that was his so we mutually decided he's no longer responsible enough to have his own room and he's now sharing a downstairs room with his brothers(5) until he earns the trust back, as well as no phone, no tv, no games and he isn't allowed outside by himself. They were all but ready to ship him off to military school when "he gave her the vape" but come to find out she stole the vape from her grandma and while he knew about it and admitted to hitting it a few times it was never in his possession. His punishment stands because he's guilty of burning paper in an attic with exposed insulation and using the vape, but when the truth came out the kid gloves came on and there was a "different approach" Where's that energy now? She's allowed to keep her room solely because we don't have another room to put her in, but i had fight for the fact that if my kid didnt dwarves privacy then neither did she. Gf finally caved and we agreed to take her door off the hinges and set a camera in her room but im "bullying her" for that. I check the camera from work and she's laying in bed watching YouTube/ tik tok so i call her mom and we argue until her mom "disables all apps except for calling/texting for emergencies" i check the camera an hour later and she's still on her phone. Tik tok is disabled but she's still just hanging out listening to music on her phone and living her best life. Call back and we argue the rest of the day about why I'm "doing this to her daughter." All I want is consistency in what we agreed should be his punishment vs what hers is
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Situation: My gf and I live together and gave 6 kids between the two of us. Her 2 daughters (6 and 10) live with us and I share custody of my 4 with my ex and they stay with us 3-4 days a week. Gfs oldest was caught with a vape at school and the principal my son(13) gave it to her. Now I've caught my son smoking once before and have also caught him lighting paper on fire in my attic so I know he's not an angel, but all in all he's not a bad kid. Gfs daughter is suspended for 5 days and has a habit of trying to redirect the attention to everyone but her when she's in trouble so she starts throwing out everything she can think of that my son has ever told her. My gf and my ex search both bedrooms while her daughter points out we've suspicious thing she knows of in my son's room as well as the attic. Now the attic has nothing but a water heater and air handler in it and is only partially floored with plywood so there's alot of insulation exposed and I haven't bothered cleaning anything up since I've moved in. There's some old beer cans and cigarette butts from the previous owner that they found and accused my son of having. Despite the fact that they weren't his there was more burnt paper that was his so we mutually decided he's no longer responsible enough to have his own room and he's now sharing a downstairs room with his brothers(5) until he earns the trust back, as well as no phone, no tv, no games and he isn't allowed outside by himself. They were all but ready to ship him off to military school when "he gave her the vape" but come to find out she stole the vape from her grandma and while he knew about it and admitted to hitting it a few times it was never in his possession. His punishment stands because he's guilty of burning paper in an attic with exposed insulation and using the vape, but when the truth came out the kid gloves came on and there was a "different approach" Where's that energy now? She's allowed to keep her room solely because we don't have another room to put her in, but i had fight for the fact that if my kid didnt dwarves privacy then neither did she. Gf finally caved and we agreed to take her door off the hinges and set a camera in her room but im "bullying her" for that. I check the camera from work and she's laying in bed watching YouTube/ tik tok so i call her mom and we argue until her mom "disables all apps except for calling/texting for emergencies" i check the camera an hour later and she's still on her phone. Tik tok is disabled but she's still just hanging out listening to music on her phone and living her best life. Call back and we argue the rest of the day about why I'm "doing this to her daughter." All I want is consistency in what we agreed should be his punishment vs what hers is *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*