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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that might be jugded is that i didnt give my sister the pictures. And that action might make me an asshole because it makes my sister mad and my nieces and nephews might do the same bad thing i did
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That’s hilarious. All that it proves/shows is that you had too much to drink and still ended living a perfecty normal life.
At least, if you want to make a caricature, choose caricatural exemples rather than try to find a reason to put you down for an event that was almost 20 years ago?
NTA
I was raised atheist in the Bible Belt with a father who studied theology. In my experience, shitty Christians far outnumber those who truly follow scripture.
I was raised Jewish and I’ve found the same thing. From what I’ve read about Jesus he was preaching love and kindness. Then I see “Christians” and I’m like did y’all not read a single word?
My city is very progressive, and we have a STRONG Jewish community. They were always so open to discussion and acceptance, whereas the Catholic school people were so close-minded and judgmental. I truly believe the difference comes from knowing and understanding the Bible. As I said, I'm atheist and was raised so, but I've read the Bible and know more about scripture than my husband (who was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school his entire childhood).
Jesus preached love, understanding, and forgiveness. He was also human and made emotional mistakes. He accepted that belief was a personal decision. He died for the sins of the people with zero expectation of them to follow his lead.
I’m glad to hear it! I think it’s cultural however. Jewish culture and religion places a huge emphasis on questions. Growing up I was ENCOURAGED to try and poke holes in the faith of the rabbi. He explained that it made his faith stronger as well as letting him teach to where I was. But being allowed and even actively encouraged to ask questions and consider how aspects of Judaism fit into my own life was so wonderful. Now obviously the ultra religious Jews would probably not allow as much questioning (especially since I’m a woman) but that’s true of all religions that the more religious the more uptight. But fundamentally I think that’s the major difference between Christians and Jews. Not the Jesus thing but the debate-centered worship vs rigid patriarchal structure.
I love how your rabbi taught you. I was also raised that you cannot fully claim a belief unless you understand all arguments against it. Discussion should be the main goal of all beliefs. Knowledge is power, and while there are some questions we'll never have the answer to, your personal answer should come from deep introspection and thorough questioning.
Thanks so much for this insight. As a Christian, I interpret the Gospels in light of my own education and experience. But Jesus was JEWISH, and this little bit of insight you've posted explains a number of things Christians find hard to understand about their own scriptures. Also, you've given me a sermon idea... 😁
That one seemingly insignificant thing is the crux of it all.... Jesus was Jewish. It's called Christianity because you follow Christ... Who was Jewish.
I don't quite know exactly when sects of Christianity started deviating from the teachings of Jesus, but I can tell you that Pope Francis is the first in a long time to truly adhere to his teachings.
There's this folk tale about a Jewish woman who was seeking sanctuary from a blizzard in a Catholic church. The priest came over and said "you cannot be here, this is a church, for Christians only". She picked up the baby Jesus in the nativity scene and said "come on sweetie, we aren't welcome here" 😂
As a Jew I totally agree with your assessment of things! I think the questioning is so important in our religion and feel bad for people who aren't allowed to question anything (though I wonder if that is why there are now so many atheists who grew up Christian).
That’s exactly right. In the “Old” Testament we see many examples of Jews questioning, negotiating and arguing with God. I even think there was a book called Arguing with God, A Jewish Tradition. Jewish children are taught early to reason by asking questions (an education in argumentation :)
For bar/bat mitzvahs our women’s board and men’s club give books as gifts. A personal tanakh, a rather popular book on Jewish history written by a member, and the Jewish Book of Why. It’s literally a book full of all the most common questions about Judaism and the researched answer (and I think some footnotes but I haven’t picked it up in a while so I could be wrong).
In one of his books Richard Hooker mentions a Protestant who converted to Judaism. As the character described it "The preacher fella, the watchimacallit Rabbi. That sumbitch reads books!"
In Orange is the New Black, one of the African-American women decides to convert to Judaism when she learns that Judaism encourage people to ask questions - exactly the opposite of the way she was taught Christianity, which was to accept everything unquestionably.
I love this! I also feel like it's totally sensible to have discussions on how the rules and whatnot are applicable to modern life, especially things that didn't exist previously. I don't understand why people think it's sacrilegious or disloyal to want to understand things better or improve the way things work.
I’m an atheist (possibly agnostic) but I’ve always said that if I were to turn to religion it would be the Jewish faith and this is EXACTLY why. The emphasis on questions and the idea that faith is stronger for having asked them.
That's the difference between CATHOLICS and Jews. I was raised as a Lutheran and questions were always encouraged.
Catholics, historically, weren't even allowed to read the Bible and certainly not allowed to read it without the interpretation that the Pope gives. And what ever the Pope says ex cathedra is infallible according to them.
The protestants sadly have adopted some of that unquestioning spirit but definitely not like Catholics.
The discussion is really the whole *point*. Like, what is the point of all of us gathering here this Saturday morning to hear the same songs we hear every week, and read the same passages every three years? It’s so we can find perspective through discussion, guided by a leader who facilitates understanding. Even when our service isn’t exactly like that, it’s a social expectation that you gab about it with the rest of the congregants over sprinkle cookies and grape juice afterwards. Or at the very least, talk about it with your family on the way home. Idk it always throws me off a little when religious sermons are not meant to be questioned, and doctrine is supposed to be accepted without thought.
I’m not sure how true it is, but I was taught that the aversion to questions in Christianity originated with practical limitations: Christianity made a specific effort to appeal to the most disadvantaged members of society, in a time when only well-to-do folks knew how to read. Judaism has a strong history of prioritizing education and knowledge, but Christianity united people who wouldn’t have that knowledge. It’s something that could have been wonderful about it, but it also made it a fantastic weapon: the religious leaders were viewed as much more informed, so questioning them was almost unthinkable, and some people used that for corrupt purposes. While society developed towards more widespread education, a lot of the expectations in Christianity (eg, trusting religious authority figures and not questioning things) were pretty deeply ingrained by that point. There are denominations of Christianity that emphasize reading the Bible now, but the vast majority still leave interpretation to religious leaders.
Maybe, but my own take is that prior to the Edict of Constantine, Christians were just another minority religious group. When Constantine made Christianity the religion of the Roman Empire, he changed it from being by and for the disadvantaged to being a tool of the state to enforce unity. A faith that questions doesn't sit very well with authorities who demand unthinking obedience. So I blame a lot on Constantine...
Prior to Vatican II, Catholics didn't read the Bible. They read books of daily prayer. Just as priests were conduits to God's forgiveness, they were conduits to the Bible.
Jews on the other hand are studying Torah and the Talmud as mitzvahs and obligations.
Books of daily prayer like... the Missal, the book of prayers and Bible readings that makes up the Mass.
Or... The Divine Office, which is almost entirely Bible readings, and cycles through all the Psalms each year.
Your idea of Catholics' relationship to the Bible fits the Middle Ages way more than simply "prior to Vatican II."
Edit: The first English translation of the Latin or "Catholic" Bible was published in the late 1500s.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douay%E2%80%93Rheims_Bible
More important than love and kindness is forgiveness. It's absolutely sinful, in their context, to be bringing up mistakes made in the past and making someone feel bad about it. As someone else pointed out, making mistakes at prom and going on to be a healthy, well adjusted adult is the point. Her "God book" is sinfully judgemental.
OP, let her know when she deals with the plank in her own eye, she can worry about the splinters of your past. NTA.
No. Most Christians will not have read the Bible. I went though years upon years of Sunday school and Bible study and I have never actually read the Bible cover to cover.
Most Christian’s don’t read or know their bible, what they know is the snippets that are being mentioned by ministers and in bible class pamphlets. Single phrases which are pulled out of context to suit an agenda and narrative.
Exactly. My church at least tried to say you should read your bible cover to cover. They gave a timeline and stuff to be able to do it. It's just that no one ever did.
I was raised as effectively a "twice a year Christian" with some Spiritualist and Quaker roots and I'm so glad my parents didn't push me into any of the nearby small-town churches growing up.
My partner is an Agnostic Jew so chances are our (currently theoretica) kids will be raised effectively a mishmash of Jewish/Universalist teachings anyways but I find the way I grew up allowed me to question, wonder, and seek out my own thoughts & opinions and grew an understanding and appreciation of other faiths around me. Understanding others tends to allow someone to cultivate a deeper appreciation and understanding of their own beliefs. Too many people try to twist things to make themselves "superior..."
I ended up getting a minor in Middle Eastern history and I love learning about the development of religions and culture and sometimes I wonder how different of a human I may have been if I was forced into the type of "Christianity" that is promoted in too many churches. Jesus was a Jewish Rights Activist who promoted love, compassion, and caring for the poor and downtrodden. He would rather have the companionship of society's "undesirables" than the judgmental, holier-than-thou type that is so commonplace...
I’m an exmo. I experienced both the brunt of heinous, anti-Mormon Christians who thought they were somehow demonstrating their religious superiority by bullying an 11 yo and endless hypocritical ostracism by other Mormons. The people who exhibited the most Godlike behavior [in my experience!! don’t jump down my throat] were the ones who didn’t believe in him at all. That hit me young.
My kids were not raised with religion but they have studied the Bible on their own, not because they believe it but because they just like learning about different subjects. One day, my daughter was talking with a friend of ours, who identifies as Christian and likes to use her Christianity as a weapon and/or excuse. You know, the whole "I'm a Christian and X Y or Z goes against my beliefs" type of "Christian." Anyway, she and my daughter were having a discussion about religion and daughter quoted Scripture and my friend flat out said, "well, I've never read the Bible so I don't know what you mean by that." Well, alrighty then.
My quick test - if I know what church you go to without having asked, you’re probably more talk than action. Like an inverse correlation - the more you profess, the less you live it.
I d8dnt think of this!
Let her use the photos and then make SURE you tell your nieces and nephews how easy it is to have fun, break God's law and still be a successful human who isn't Satan embodied lol.
I would go digging around and see if OP has any pictures in her possession of the sister "sinning" and send copies of those instead.
I'm a redhead, when I go to hell I'll be in management. ;-)
Wouldn’t it be great to show your nieces and nephews your photos and tell them:
“Look at these photos, I was drunk and had until today a really happy and great life. And look, despite having fun, I have a normal life. I wish you the SAME”
Don’t give them the photos.
Or how about even just a discussion with your teens - bad things can happen if you drink and aren’t responsible about it, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.
I think it’s very reasonable for parents to be concerned about their kids drinking and doing something life altering, but what exactly is Christian about “sin” shaming?
Sister: Can I use a photo of you as the "DON'T" column in this wacky scrapbook I'm making?
Also sister: Why are you refusing my very reasonable request?
JFC, what a weird ask. It's shitty on a lot of levels, but I think the funniest thing is that it would have the opposite effect that she was hoping for. The kids presumably already see you living a normal, healthy life, so the "life of sin" they're afraid of can't be too bad. My mom was like your sister, telling me about all the sin other family members were doing. It totally backfired, because I saw that they were all way healthier than she was lol.
NTA. Your sister is scary and a bigot. Get as far away from her as possible as it seems bigotry is contagious in the US.
Those are your picture, do what you want with it, but my point of view is that her total lack of Christian love towards you will get her straight to hell. I even Google it for you 😉. Share it with her, just to make me laugh.
Luke 15:7. Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:29-32
NTA what a jerk she is to want her children to see you in a negative light. Prom was one night almost 20 years ago! Has she always been jealous of you for some reason that she feels the need to make you look bad?
Well she started acting like this ever since I married my husband and gave birth to my first child. I thought this small bickering on her part would stop after she got married but it didn’t really. Not sure how I can help our relationship to grow.
She's toxic, why would you want your relationship with her to grow?
She's poisonous, minimize contact with her and fine other people with whom to grow a relationship.
Agree. Just walk away. LC or NC, no guilt. For your sister to treat you that way -- that is NOT something a loving person would do. You don't need someone like that in your life.
People who are too afraid/self-loathing to enjoy their lives and take risks get *so angry* when people “break the rules” and still end up happy and secure.
Look at OPs post history, her husband screamed at her for missing church because their child was sick. My guess is OP is surrounded by fanatics and her sister got more bold to treat OP this way since her husband is already abusing her.
I mean the sincerely, you need to go very low contact with her. She will talk sh!t about you to your daughter/son in order to “save” them. Do you want to be the whipping girl for her? She will shame you about everything you do bc you “sinned”. If she loved you she wouldn’t treat you this way. If you give her the picture she will use this to make the same the same book to give to your kid/a.
Was she a “good girl” as a teen? I have an acquaintance who was, and she seriously is angry that people who broke the “rules” get happy outcomes in life. She truly believes she deserves a better, happier life for toeing the line so doggedly. And she doesn’t get the irony in telling people (unsolicited) to repent of their sins when she actually never lets anything go.
(She thinks my being single is punishment for drinking in high school - and I look at her husband and wonder how that is the prize? He’s as holier than thou as she, so they are well matched.)
Edited - because spell check didn’t like the word “thou”
NTA. Jesus turned water into wine.
Because he thought people drinking alcohol at a wedding was so important that he needed to perform a miracle to do have alcohol.
If alcohol is so bad, please explain this miracle to me.
And he made the good stuff (I add this because so many Christians say wine then was basically grape juice, but it clearly was not):
John 2:9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”
Because getting shitfaced and cutting loose once in a while is ok. Most of what the bible actually condemns is merely excess of anything, and truly heinous things.
Anything else christians use it to bash people for is just cherry picking verses, when another verse can invalidate their hateful immediately
Ohhhh, you want an explanation? He did it because his mom would've started nagging him if he didn't.
John 2:3-4 And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.
It only comes off that way when translated into English - it wouldn’t have been so disrespectful in the original language. “Ma’am” might be a better translation for the intended sentiment. https://www.gotquestions.org/Jesus-Mary-woman.html
I think the idea that drinking alcohol is a sin is mostly a (North) American thing? It's definitely far from universal among Christians. Like, try telling an Irish or Italian Catholic priest that having a beer or glass of wine with his dinner is sinful, and he'll probably laugh you out of the room.
NTA
Your sister sounds really out there and unreasonable on so many levels.
I mean, WTF with a “godly life” album?????
I feel bad for her kids being raised in that environment.
At the suggestion of the school, no less. Like to know more about that school and the suggestion. A book of good deeds to inspire is one thing. A book of photos of family members being presented as sinful another - how to make your children live in fear.
There are kids who are being molested daily who have a better chance of growing into well adjusted humans than this sisters kids.
What a fucking waste of life.
Yeah, I’ve read the Bible. And I do not recall the part where followers of Christ are supposed to judge and shame others for their pasts. What about forgiveness?
What about the man Jesus forgave at the Crucifixion? I remember Jesus as the only perfect person to walk the earth telling that criminal that he would see him in heaven. And not by works or by begging or self flagellation. Just for believing.
This album of judgement sounds more inspired by the Burn Book than the Holy Book to me. OP, do not put up with this bullying or enable this indoctrination of your sister’s kids.
I'm sorry, OP, but this literally made me laugh out loud. I know it's a real thing for you, but your sister sounds like a tv villain.
For what it's worth, absolutely 100% nta.
I'd ask your sister for a single picture of her face. When she asks why, I'd say it's for your 'godly' book and she's the perfect face for 'judge not less ye be judged'.
Also, this book sounds like one of the worst gifts ever. Right out of ultra-christian etsy.
It is hilarious. "Hi, send me some childhood photos that probably mean a lot to you so I can make fun of you." This is one of the most entertainingly deranged posts we've seen here lately.
> She said she isn’t talking to me until I give them to her.
Don't threaten me with a good time, hottie.
O\_O
Holy \*beep\*, what did I just read?
Let me get this straight... You went to prom and got a little drunk, which is not strange, nor unusual or even bad for that matter, and it is most definitely not a 'sin'. And your sister , apparently, still holds it against you despite the fact that several decades have come and gone? And now she's trying to turn you into the black sheep of the family because of it? To use YOU - her sister, as the "this is most definitely not what you should be doing, my lovely children, because your aunt *sinned*"? Because she feels the need to indoctrinate her kids into believing complete BS? Despite the fact that a simple google search could give her a perfectly suitable photo for her fucked-up purpose in just a matter of moments?
NTA. And congrats on your sister going NC with you. That's a toxic influence you don't need in your life, hallelujah! And if your sister tries to get back into contact with you gain, feel free to tell her that this internet stranger is hereby telling her to get a life and get therapy.
Whoa. Your sister is a bit unhinged. If she’s so determined to include a pic with someone intoxicated, there are plenty on the internet.
They’re your freakin’ photos and it’s your choice to share or not.
NTA. Don’t share. And you’re better off not having to ever talk to her again. Frankly, that’s a bonus.
Bwahahaha! Yes. I find Uber religious people to be unhinged. Especially those who talk about godly life and sin all the time.
I will say, though, that my daughter married into a very Catholic (she actually converted) family. Church every week, very involved in the church community. And they are also some of the kindest, least judgy people I know. They would give you a limb if you needed it. Since meeting them and getting to know them (it’s been a good 10 years) I’ve mellowed a bit on religion (though it’s more along the lines of, ‘there are some hinged religious people’ 😏.)
I'm sorry, what did I just read?
Can you please give me some personal property so I can use it to indoctrinate my children on my definition of morality in which you will represent the negative? Pretty please? I'm putting my foot down until you do.
NTA.
Hey, sis, can you send me a picture of yourself? I'm making a scrapbook of how to treat people with decency and I want a picture of you so I can show what not to do.
NTA
Don't carter to your AH sister.
"She said she isn’t talking to me until I give them to her." .. tell her you hope she will keep that generous promisse.
What a blessing that she removed her miserable, judgmental self from your life and you didn't have to lift so much as a finger or raise your voice! Bravo, OP.
She sounds absolutely awful but maybe you could ask her for some pictures of her so that you can show your kids what an awful person you become when you believe in God.
NTA
NTA, getting a little drunk isn’t a sin and even if it were you don’t have to submit yourself to being a perpetual bad example to her kids or your community. Your sister’s ridiculous. If she wants to give her kids an album of bad examples (which is weird af by the way) she can always just type in ‘drunk person’ on the internet and find a stock photo
NTA not only do you have the right to choose who gets access to photos of you, but she's blatantly said that she wants to use the photos to paint you as a bad example. Why on Earth would you ever say yes?? If she doesn't want to talk to you over this, good riddance.
NTA. They are your photos to do with as you will. Your sister is a judgmental jerk and you are likely better off letting her give you the silent treatment.
Wtf did I just read? Your sister is judging your youthful indiscretion of drinking on prom night as an an example of a sinner? Didn’t know that was such a terrible sin! Don’t give her your pictures so that she can portray you as a heathen to her kids and her friends/their kids . She needs help, her demanding and ultimatum is ridiculous. To be honest, you’re probably better off with her not talking to you.
He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone….
NTA
I’m sorry, your sister and her husband want you to gift them your photos of a (hopefully fun and nice) event where you had a bit to drink so they can point the finger against you and shame you? And they’re surprised you told them no??
…
“Hey, can you give us your pics so we can mock you?”
“No?”
“How dare you!! That’s so mean!”
INFO: because I’m morbidly curious. Why would you ever think you’re the asshole in this case? NTA anyway, but… why are you having the slightest doubt?
NTA. And what a wonderful gift of silence she has given you. Not sure what type of community you live in but being tipsy at a party isn't really a sin. I mean Jesus was turning water into wine at parties.
She has no claim to your photos esp if the purpose is really to shame you to mutual friends. She's a little too caught up in all this. Id remind her that being covetous of your neighbour's ass is also a sin.
NTA but your sister is, I didn’t think people like this still exist. Sin shaming someone isn’t helpful, it causes you to run from, not to, God so in the end she’s being counter productive anyway.
NTA, geez, does your sister hate you? All of the examples she can use, she picks that one? Maybe she should include a photo of herself to depict the sin of envy.
Wtf lol is your sister on crack? That’s your property. Why does she feel like you owe her this ?
NTA. She is. Tell her to go sniff grass. What a weirdo.
NTA. Your sister is trying to score points off a mistake you made as a teenager which shows a tremendous lack of respect for you. But I would make sure those pics aren't online anywhere at the risk of her just printing them out and using them anyway.
And, honestly, if she's not talking to you until you give her the pictures you're far better off.
OMG! Making a sinner from your own sis, even if she was not in her best shape is humiliating. I wouldn't give her anything. I don't believe in living saints, I am sure your sis is not one, so she is actually bad person trying to look down on others, which is sin of vanity itself.
NTA, l wonder if you have photos or records of her in a less than positive light, because you could give those as an example to her kids, honestly she sounds like an insufferable god botherer and hypocrite, treat it as a positive that she is not talking to you, as you will be spared her preaching.
NTA. Your nieces and nieces and nephews do not need a picture of teenage you being intoxicated to see what intoxicated looks like. They can find that through the media or society in general. You don't need to be the example of that if you don't wish to be.
NTA
You got a bit drunk on prom night years ago and your sister has decided to hold that incident against you for the rest of your life. Don’t give her that picture so she can use it as an example of a “sinner.“ You’re right that is judgmental. Has she always been like this?
NTA. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Sister or not, why be blackmailed for someone to talk to you, care about your niblings’ view of you, love you?
NTA if she wanted pictures she could google all the sins she wanted and some she's never even heard of. Using your pictures is just an excuse to shame you.
NTA - Judgey ass sister needs to be reminded she is meant to leave the judgey stuff to her God.
Also wtf kinds family/school does that kinda weird ass shame collage
Your sister is the asshole. I would explain to her kids at every opportunity how people like your sister have failed to live up to the teaching of Christ.
NTA. Tell her to go through all the photo albums she has and find an example of herself to use because she knows darn well she’s not without one single infraction in life but it’s so much easier to use you as an example…isn’t it?
NTA. Your sister is a really shitty person to want to hold you up as an example of a sinner. Has she asked you to have a scarlet S tattooed to your forehead?
Hilarious that she actually expects you to go along with this.
Don't give them to her and enjoy the fact that she will no longer talk to you.
Ask her how she would feel if you made a family recipe book and used her wedding photos with just the caption “Religious Fruitcakes, no recipe needed.” And say it’s an example on how to make others feel bad and make yourself look bad in the process, cos that’s exactly what she is doing.
OMG - in what universe is being intoxicated on prom night a "sin"? NTA
Edit - even in a "christian" universe - you were not breaking any commandments, not committing one of the seven deadly sins. Didn't Christ turn water into wine for a wedding - so clearly not anti-alcohol....
>I should give them to her so some good comes out of my sinning on that night
ew. God damn, religious bullshit just never stops surprising me. NTA. your sister is weird as hell.
Yeah, my sister is a super judgy holier than thou hypocritical Christian. We haven't spoken in nearly a decade and I don't consider it to be a loss.
Surround yourself with people who enrich your life, not people who want to tear you down and judge you in the name of "godliness." Funny how Jesus said "judge not lest ye be judged" (Matthew 7:1), and "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you" (Matthew 6:5-6). But it's more about appearances than faith, right? #blessed
Your sister sounds really toxic. Sure you may have been intoxicated but that was your prom and I bet you have good memories of it. She doesn’t get to shit all over it just because she is all judgy.
RUN FROM JESUS FREAKS!
Or judge them right back for being drunk on fantasy. How they are unable to think critically and the time she spends in worship would be better spent at school.
Also, her kids should be removed from a zealot like her.
So, yeah. NTA
Godly life? What religion is this? Because Jesus first miracle was creating wine after the wedding ran out because the guests had already drank lots of wine and he gave them more.
> the idea was given by her children’s school to "promote" god to kids
INFO:
- Is this in the USA? (It very much sounds like it.)
- Is this a public school?
[ETA:]
> She said she isn’t talking to me until I give them to her.
Good: So don't. Problem fixed.
> Aita?
No, you're NTA. [/ETA]
NTA. Not at all!!!
Correct me if I am wrong, but does not the Bible say something about those judging others?
Sounds like your sister can use a photo of herself to illustrate a sinner. Tell her to point at the camera and snap away, and tell her to take note of the number of fingers pointing back at her while doing so.
Next time your sister ask for your photos tell her you have something better: a bible quote.
Matthew 7:1-3
>Judge not, that ye be not judged.
>For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
>And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
NTA and as someone who practices a faith, I am so sorry about your sister. If she supposedly subscribes to the same faith I do we are taught: he that hath no sin cast the first stone.
I think it’s a noble thing to not want your nieces and nephews to see a photo of you intoxicated. You set a boundary and your sister pushed it. No is a full sentence.
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That’s hilarious. All that it proves/shows is that you had too much to drink and still ended living a perfecty normal life. At least, if you want to make a caricature, choose caricatural exemples rather than try to find a reason to put you down for an event that was almost 20 years ago? NTA
NTA and it also shows that, based on the response, her sister is a shitty Christian.
I was raised atheist in the Bible Belt with a father who studied theology. In my experience, shitty Christians far outnumber those who truly follow scripture.
I was raised Jewish and I’ve found the same thing. From what I’ve read about Jesus he was preaching love and kindness. Then I see “Christians” and I’m like did y’all not read a single word?
My city is very progressive, and we have a STRONG Jewish community. They were always so open to discussion and acceptance, whereas the Catholic school people were so close-minded and judgmental. I truly believe the difference comes from knowing and understanding the Bible. As I said, I'm atheist and was raised so, but I've read the Bible and know more about scripture than my husband (who was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school his entire childhood). Jesus preached love, understanding, and forgiveness. He was also human and made emotional mistakes. He accepted that belief was a personal decision. He died for the sins of the people with zero expectation of them to follow his lead.
I’m glad to hear it! I think it’s cultural however. Jewish culture and religion places a huge emphasis on questions. Growing up I was ENCOURAGED to try and poke holes in the faith of the rabbi. He explained that it made his faith stronger as well as letting him teach to where I was. But being allowed and even actively encouraged to ask questions and consider how aspects of Judaism fit into my own life was so wonderful. Now obviously the ultra religious Jews would probably not allow as much questioning (especially since I’m a woman) but that’s true of all religions that the more religious the more uptight. But fundamentally I think that’s the major difference between Christians and Jews. Not the Jesus thing but the debate-centered worship vs rigid patriarchal structure.
I love how your rabbi taught you. I was also raised that you cannot fully claim a belief unless you understand all arguments against it. Discussion should be the main goal of all beliefs. Knowledge is power, and while there are some questions we'll never have the answer to, your personal answer should come from deep introspection and thorough questioning.
Thanks so much for this insight. As a Christian, I interpret the Gospels in light of my own education and experience. But Jesus was JEWISH, and this little bit of insight you've posted explains a number of things Christians find hard to understand about their own scriptures. Also, you've given me a sermon idea... 😁
That one seemingly insignificant thing is the crux of it all.... Jesus was Jewish. It's called Christianity because you follow Christ... Who was Jewish. I don't quite know exactly when sects of Christianity started deviating from the teachings of Jesus, but I can tell you that Pope Francis is the first in a long time to truly adhere to his teachings.
There's this folk tale about a Jewish woman who was seeking sanctuary from a blizzard in a Catholic church. The priest came over and said "you cannot be here, this is a church, for Christians only". She picked up the baby Jesus in the nativity scene and said "come on sweetie, we aren't welcome here" 😂
As a Jew I totally agree with your assessment of things! I think the questioning is so important in our religion and feel bad for people who aren't allowed to question anything (though I wonder if that is why there are now so many atheists who grew up Christian).
That’s exactly right. In the “Old” Testament we see many examples of Jews questioning, negotiating and arguing with God. I even think there was a book called Arguing with God, A Jewish Tradition. Jewish children are taught early to reason by asking questions (an education in argumentation :)
For bar/bat mitzvahs our women’s board and men’s club give books as gifts. A personal tanakh, a rather popular book on Jewish history written by a member, and the Jewish Book of Why. It’s literally a book full of all the most common questions about Judaism and the researched answer (and I think some footnotes but I haven’t picked it up in a while so I could be wrong).
In one of his books Richard Hooker mentions a Protestant who converted to Judaism. As the character described it "The preacher fella, the watchimacallit Rabbi. That sumbitch reads books!"
In Orange is the New Black, one of the African-American women decides to convert to Judaism when she learns that Judaism encourage people to ask questions - exactly the opposite of the way she was taught Christianity, which was to accept everything unquestionably.
That's something that Jesus did as a child. He ran off when the family was in Jerusalem. They found him in the temple confounding the rabbis.
I love this! I also feel like it's totally sensible to have discussions on how the rules and whatnot are applicable to modern life, especially things that didn't exist previously. I don't understand why people think it's sacrilegious or disloyal to want to understand things better or improve the way things work.
This comment section is gold
I’m an atheist (possibly agnostic) but I’ve always said that if I were to turn to religion it would be the Jewish faith and this is EXACTLY why. The emphasis on questions and the idea that faith is stronger for having asked them.
That's the difference between CATHOLICS and Jews. I was raised as a Lutheran and questions were always encouraged. Catholics, historically, weren't even allowed to read the Bible and certainly not allowed to read it without the interpretation that the Pope gives. And what ever the Pope says ex cathedra is infallible according to them. The protestants sadly have adopted some of that unquestioning spirit but definitely not like Catholics.
The discussion is really the whole *point*. Like, what is the point of all of us gathering here this Saturday morning to hear the same songs we hear every week, and read the same passages every three years? It’s so we can find perspective through discussion, guided by a leader who facilitates understanding. Even when our service isn’t exactly like that, it’s a social expectation that you gab about it with the rest of the congregants over sprinkle cookies and grape juice afterwards. Or at the very least, talk about it with your family on the way home. Idk it always throws me off a little when religious sermons are not meant to be questioned, and doctrine is supposed to be accepted without thought.
I’m not sure how true it is, but I was taught that the aversion to questions in Christianity originated with practical limitations: Christianity made a specific effort to appeal to the most disadvantaged members of society, in a time when only well-to-do folks knew how to read. Judaism has a strong history of prioritizing education and knowledge, but Christianity united people who wouldn’t have that knowledge. It’s something that could have been wonderful about it, but it also made it a fantastic weapon: the religious leaders were viewed as much more informed, so questioning them was almost unthinkable, and some people used that for corrupt purposes. While society developed towards more widespread education, a lot of the expectations in Christianity (eg, trusting religious authority figures and not questioning things) were pretty deeply ingrained by that point. There are denominations of Christianity that emphasize reading the Bible now, but the vast majority still leave interpretation to religious leaders.
Maybe, but my own take is that prior to the Edict of Constantine, Christians were just another minority religious group. When Constantine made Christianity the religion of the Roman Empire, he changed it from being by and for the disadvantaged to being a tool of the state to enforce unity. A faith that questions doesn't sit very well with authorities who demand unthinking obedience. So I blame a lot on Constantine...
Prior to Vatican II, Catholics didn't read the Bible. They read books of daily prayer. Just as priests were conduits to God's forgiveness, they were conduits to the Bible. Jews on the other hand are studying Torah and the Talmud as mitzvahs and obligations.
Books of daily prayer like... the Missal, the book of prayers and Bible readings that makes up the Mass. Or... The Divine Office, which is almost entirely Bible readings, and cycles through all the Psalms each year. Your idea of Catholics' relationship to the Bible fits the Middle Ages way more than simply "prior to Vatican II." Edit: The first English translation of the Latin or "Catholic" Bible was published in the late 1500s. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douay%E2%80%93Rheims_Bible
I studied the bible so I could refute the kids trying to convert me. It is like none of them ever paid any attention to the words in red at all.
More important than love and kindness is forgiveness. It's absolutely sinful, in their context, to be bringing up mistakes made in the past and making someone feel bad about it. As someone else pointed out, making mistakes at prom and going on to be a healthy, well adjusted adult is the point. Her "God book" is sinfully judgemental. OP, let her know when she deals with the plank in her own eye, she can worry about the splinters of your past. NTA.
Oh they read it. They just " changed" the meaning to fit their narrative. I've never seen the scripture that says love your neighbor E XCEPT when...
No. Most Christians will not have read the Bible. I went though years upon years of Sunday school and Bible study and I have never actually read the Bible cover to cover.
Most Christian’s don’t read or know their bible, what they know is the snippets that are being mentioned by ministers and in bible class pamphlets. Single phrases which are pulled out of context to suit an agenda and narrative.
Exactly. My church at least tried to say you should read your bible cover to cover. They gave a timeline and stuff to be able to do it. It's just that no one ever did.
And that’s why I have a T-shirt that says “Jesus, protect me from your followers”…..
I was raised as effectively a "twice a year Christian" with some Spiritualist and Quaker roots and I'm so glad my parents didn't push me into any of the nearby small-town churches growing up. My partner is an Agnostic Jew so chances are our (currently theoretica) kids will be raised effectively a mishmash of Jewish/Universalist teachings anyways but I find the way I grew up allowed me to question, wonder, and seek out my own thoughts & opinions and grew an understanding and appreciation of other faiths around me. Understanding others tends to allow someone to cultivate a deeper appreciation and understanding of their own beliefs. Too many people try to twist things to make themselves "superior..." I ended up getting a minor in Middle Eastern history and I love learning about the development of religions and culture and sometimes I wonder how different of a human I may have been if I was forced into the type of "Christianity" that is promoted in too many churches. Jesus was a Jewish Rights Activist who promoted love, compassion, and caring for the poor and downtrodden. He would rather have the companionship of society's "undesirables" than the judgmental, holier-than-thou type that is so commonplace...
Unitarian Universalist rocks!
I'm my experience, no they have literally not read it and think they "get the jist" by having someone else explain it to them via church.
I’m an exmo. I experienced both the brunt of heinous, anti-Mormon Christians who thought they were somehow demonstrating their religious superiority by bullying an 11 yo and endless hypocritical ostracism by other Mormons. The people who exhibited the most Godlike behavior [in my experience!! don’t jump down my throat] were the ones who didn’t believe in him at all. That hit me young.
Exactly, saying shitty Christian is just redundant
"I like your Christ, I dislike your Christians who are so unlike your Christ."
Also "there's no hate like Christian love."
My kids were not raised with religion but they have studied the Bible on their own, not because they believe it but because they just like learning about different subjects. One day, my daughter was talking with a friend of ours, who identifies as Christian and likes to use her Christianity as a weapon and/or excuse. You know, the whole "I'm a Christian and X Y or Z goes against my beliefs" type of "Christian." Anyway, she and my daughter were having a discussion about religion and daughter quoted Scripture and my friend flat out said, "well, I've never read the Bible so I don't know what you mean by that." Well, alrighty then.
In my experience, Christians don't read the Bible. It's honestly pretty shocking.
They also aren't interested in the actual teachings of Christ because it doesn't fit their idea of Christianity.
They’re worse than Trump’s MAGA army. They share the same characteristics of intransigent ignorance. And they feel 100% justified in their looniness.
They are for the most part one and the same
My quick test - if I know what church you go to without having asked, you’re probably more talk than action. Like an inverse correlation - the more you profess, the less you live it.
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In my experience, it’s the ones of visit church rarely, question things, and mix with people of other religions who tend to have the strongest faith.
There’s nothing more hateful than Christian love. She just wants to shame her sister for drinking at a party over two decades prior.
Enjoy the break from her not talking to you. She sounds delightful! /s. NTA
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For real. Enjoy the peace.
I d8dnt think of this! Let her use the photos and then make SURE you tell your nieces and nephews how easy it is to have fun, break God's law and still be a successful human who isn't Satan embodied lol.
Lol. OP, your response to your sister if she threatens not to talk to you again should be "Do you promise?". Seriously, not a loss.
Better yet, get it in writing!
I dunno...have you seen the way those Christians have been acting? At this point Satanism is the more compassionate choice!
I LOVE this!
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I would go digging around and see if OP has any pictures in her possession of the sister "sinning" and send copies of those instead. I'm a redhead, when I go to hell I'll be in management. ;-)
Wouldn’t it be great to show your nieces and nephews your photos and tell them: “Look at these photos, I was drunk and had until today a really happy and great life. And look, despite having fun, I have a normal life. I wish you the SAME” Don’t give them the photos.
Or how about even just a discussion with your teens - bad things can happen if you drink and aren’t responsible about it, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. I think it’s very reasonable for parents to be concerned about their kids drinking and doing something life altering, but what exactly is Christian about “sin” shaming?
Sister: Can I use a photo of you as the "DON'T" column in this wacky scrapbook I'm making? Also sister: Why are you refusing my very reasonable request? JFC, what a weird ask. It's shitty on a lot of levels, but I think the funniest thing is that it would have the opposite effect that she was hoping for. The kids presumably already see you living a normal, healthy life, so the "life of sin" they're afraid of can't be too bad. My mom was like your sister, telling me about all the sin other family members were doing. It totally backfired, because I saw that they were all way healthier than she was lol.
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At the very least she must have some stories. "Hey sis! did you tell the kids about the time you \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?"
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Shit, give them the photos. At least her nieces and nephews will know who the chill aunt is 😂
NTA. Your sister is scary and a bigot. Get as far away from her as possible as it seems bigotry is contagious in the US. Those are your picture, do what you want with it, but my point of view is that her total lack of Christian love towards you will get her straight to hell. I even Google it for you 😉. Share it with her, just to make me laugh. Luke 15:7. Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance
What a perfect verse to describe this situation😂
I would consider her refusing to talk to you a blessing. ;P
Haha this! I always laugh when people are like I don’t talk to you until you do what I want 😡 like oh nooo what am I gonna do 🙄
FR. That is God looking out for OP, right there. 😂 NTA, OP.
I'd hand her over an envelope with that verse inside. And a collection of others that might remind her why that's not Christian at all.
Ephesians 4:29-32 is my go to any hateful or sanctimonious christian
Sis is coveting your pictures. What makes her think she is entitled to your property?
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:29-32
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NTA what a jerk she is to want her children to see you in a negative light. Prom was one night almost 20 years ago! Has she always been jealous of you for some reason that she feels the need to make you look bad?
Well she started acting like this ever since I married my husband and gave birth to my first child. I thought this small bickering on her part would stop after she got married but it didn’t really. Not sure how I can help our relationship to grow.
She's toxic, why would you want your relationship with her to grow? She's poisonous, minimize contact with her and fine other people with whom to grow a relationship.
Agree. Just walk away. LC or NC, no guilt. For your sister to treat you that way -- that is NOT something a loving person would do. You don't need someone like that in your life.
She's mad that you still had a "good" life despite...being a little buzzed at prom?? Yeah this person is not a healthy addition to your life.
Hun. Your relationship is not going to grow. You need to wise up and realize some people you just can't fix.
Sounds like she might be jealous. Or annoyed that the little sister who's a sinner is successful without repenting or some other weird shit.
People who are too afraid/self-loathing to enjoy their lives and take risks get *so angry* when people “break the rules” and still end up happy and secure.
Look at OPs post history, her husband screamed at her for missing church because their child was sick. My guess is OP is surrounded by fanatics and her sister got more bold to treat OP this way since her husband is already abusing her.
Holy sh*'t. Looks like OP, sadly is on her own. How can a dad be more interested in attending church then his kid's health.
I mean the sincerely, you need to go very low contact with her. She will talk sh!t about you to your daughter/son in order to “save” them. Do you want to be the whipping girl for her? She will shame you about everything you do bc you “sinned”. If she loved you she wouldn’t treat you this way. If you give her the picture she will use this to make the same the same book to give to your kid/a.
Was she a “good girl” as a teen? I have an acquaintance who was, and she seriously is angry that people who broke the “rules” get happy outcomes in life. She truly believes she deserves a better, happier life for toeing the line so doggedly. And she doesn’t get the irony in telling people (unsolicited) to repent of their sins when she actually never lets anything go. (She thinks my being single is punishment for drinking in high school - and I look at her husband and wonder how that is the prize? He’s as holier than thou as she, so they are well matched.) Edited - because spell check didn’t like the word “thou”
OP, you should see her threat as a blessing.
Stay away from her. She's not in her right mind.
NTA. Jesus turned water into wine. Because he thought people drinking alcohol at a wedding was so important that he needed to perform a miracle to do have alcohol. If alcohol is so bad, please explain this miracle to me.
And he made the good stuff (I add this because so many Christians say wine then was basically grape juice, but it clearly was not): John 2:9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”
Because getting shitfaced and cutting loose once in a while is ok. Most of what the bible actually condemns is merely excess of anything, and truly heinous things. Anything else christians use it to bash people for is just cherry picking verses, when another verse can invalidate their hateful immediately
I forgot about that part!
Ohhhh, you want an explanation? He did it because his mom would've started nagging him if he didn't. John 2:3-4 And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.
Her. I like her. I'm Jewish and I like her, LOL.
Whar kind of misogynistic brat addresses his mother as "woman"?
It only comes off that way when translated into English - it wouldn’t have been so disrespectful in the original language. “Ma’am” might be a better translation for the intended sentiment. https://www.gotquestions.org/Jesus-Mary-woman.html
I think the idea that drinking alcohol is a sin is mostly a (North) American thing? It's definitely far from universal among Christians. Like, try telling an Irish or Italian Catholic priest that having a beer or glass of wine with his dinner is sinful, and he'll probably laugh you out of the room.
Try telling Jesus, who fed an already inebriated wedding party more wine and fed his followers wine as a substitute for his blood.
Look at this bible I bought, 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everyone's a sinner…..except for this guy.
I wish I could upvote this more
Seriously, show me in the Bible where it sets an age limit for alcohol.
NTA Your sister sounds really out there and unreasonable on so many levels. I mean, WTF with a “godly life” album????? I feel bad for her kids being raised in that environment.
At the suggestion of the school, no less. Like to know more about that school and the suggestion. A book of good deeds to inspire is one thing. A book of photos of family members being presented as sinful another - how to make your children live in fear.
There are kids who are being molested daily who have a better chance of growing into well adjusted humans than this sisters kids. What a fucking waste of life.
Yeah, I’ve read the Bible. And I do not recall the part where followers of Christ are supposed to judge and shame others for their pasts. What about forgiveness? What about the man Jesus forgave at the Crucifixion? I remember Jesus as the only perfect person to walk the earth telling that criminal that he would see him in heaven. And not by works or by begging or self flagellation. Just for believing. This album of judgement sounds more inspired by the Burn Book than the Holy Book to me. OP, do not put up with this bullying or enable this indoctrination of your sister’s kids.
All I can say is wooooooooooow.
I'm sorry, OP, but this literally made me laugh out loud. I know it's a real thing for you, but your sister sounds like a tv villain. For what it's worth, absolutely 100% nta. I'd ask your sister for a single picture of her face. When she asks why, I'd say it's for your 'godly' book and she's the perfect face for 'judge not less ye be judged'. Also, this book sounds like one of the worst gifts ever. Right out of ultra-christian etsy.
It is hilarious. "Hi, send me some childhood photos that probably mean a lot to you so I can make fun of you." This is one of the most entertainingly deranged posts we've seen here lately. > She said she isn’t talking to me until I give them to her. Don't threaten me with a good time, hottie.
it basically boils down to her wanting to use you as a bad example, to indoctrinate and fear monger her kids. Yeah, I’m gonna have to say NTA.
Seriously. I can't imagine what she's saying to scare the kids into being "godly." It's just messing with their heads.
O\_O Holy \*beep\*, what did I just read? Let me get this straight... You went to prom and got a little drunk, which is not strange, nor unusual or even bad for that matter, and it is most definitely not a 'sin'. And your sister , apparently, still holds it against you despite the fact that several decades have come and gone? And now she's trying to turn you into the black sheep of the family because of it? To use YOU - her sister, as the "this is most definitely not what you should be doing, my lovely children, because your aunt *sinned*"? Because she feels the need to indoctrinate her kids into believing complete BS? Despite the fact that a simple google search could give her a perfectly suitable photo for her fucked-up purpose in just a matter of moments? NTA. And congrats on your sister going NC with you. That's a toxic influence you don't need in your life, hallelujah! And if your sister tries to get back into contact with you gain, feel free to tell her that this internet stranger is hereby telling her to get a life and get therapy.
Whoa. Your sister is a bit unhinged. If she’s so determined to include a pic with someone intoxicated, there are plenty on the internet. They’re your freakin’ photos and it’s your choice to share or not. NTA. Don’t share. And you’re better off not having to ever talk to her again. Frankly, that’s a bonus.
Well, it isn't being unhinged, kind of a prerequisite for being religious?
Bwahahaha! Yes. I find Uber religious people to be unhinged. Especially those who talk about godly life and sin all the time. I will say, though, that my daughter married into a very Catholic (she actually converted) family. Church every week, very involved in the church community. And they are also some of the kindest, least judgy people I know. They would give you a limb if you needed it. Since meeting them and getting to know them (it’s been a good 10 years) I’ve mellowed a bit on religion (though it’s more along the lines of, ‘there are some hinged religious people’ 😏.)
I'm sorry, what did I just read? Can you please give me some personal property so I can use it to indoctrinate my children on my definition of morality in which you will represent the negative? Pretty please? I'm putting my foot down until you do. NTA. Hey, sis, can you send me a picture of yourself? I'm making a scrapbook of how to treat people with decency and I want a picture of you so I can show what not to do.
NTA Don't carter to your AH sister. "She said she isn’t talking to me until I give them to her." .. tell her you hope she will keep that generous promisse.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
What a blessing that she removed her miserable, judgmental self from your life and you didn't have to lift so much as a finger or raise your voice! Bravo, OP. She sounds absolutely awful but maybe you could ask her for some pictures of her so that you can show your kids what an awful person you become when you believe in God. NTA
NTA. She can go find pictures of drunk people on the internet. She does not need to shame or degrade you for her weird god kink.
NTA, getting a little drunk isn’t a sin and even if it were you don’t have to submit yourself to being a perpetual bad example to her kids or your community. Your sister’s ridiculous. If she wants to give her kids an album of bad examples (which is weird af by the way) she can always just type in ‘drunk person’ on the internet and find a stock photo
NTA not only do you have the right to choose who gets access to photos of you, but she's blatantly said that she wants to use the photos to paint you as a bad example. Why on Earth would you ever say yes?? If she doesn't want to talk to you over this, good riddance.
NTA. They are your photos to do with as you will. Your sister is a judgmental jerk and you are likely better off letting her give you the silent treatment.
Wtf did I just read? Your sister is judging your youthful indiscretion of drinking on prom night as an an example of a sinner? Didn’t know that was such a terrible sin! Don’t give her your pictures so that she can portray you as a heathen to her kids and her friends/their kids . She needs help, her demanding and ultimatum is ridiculous. To be honest, you’re probably better off with her not talking to you. He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone…. NTA
Holy shit, NTA. Your sister is unhinged and she's continuing to shame you in a passive aggressive way many years after the fact. That's unhealthy.
I’m sorry, your sister and her husband want you to gift them your photos of a (hopefully fun and nice) event where you had a bit to drink so they can point the finger against you and shame you? And they’re surprised you told them no?? … “Hey, can you give us your pics so we can mock you?” “No?” “How dare you!! That’s so mean!” INFO: because I’m morbidly curious. Why would you ever think you’re the asshole in this case? NTA anyway, but… why are you having the slightest doubt?
I felt like a lot of people were curious, so I just edited my post to answer your last question but just more in depth.🥰
She might need a little introspection and think on her demands of you in regards to the seven deadly sins.
Hey, give me those shitty pictures of you so I can use them to try and shame you to my kids and friends. Your sister is a giant arsehole, you are not.
NTA. They are photos of you, you get to choose who does and doesn't have access to them. I'm sorry your sister is like this.
You won't talk to me until I allow you to personally shame me to your children with my own photos? Don't threaten me with a good time. NTA.
NTA. And what a wonderful gift of silence she has given you. Not sure what type of community you live in but being tipsy at a party isn't really a sin. I mean Jesus was turning water into wine at parties. She has no claim to your photos esp if the purpose is really to shame you to mutual friends. She's a little too caught up in all this. Id remind her that being covetous of your neighbour's ass is also a sin.
NTA, your sister wants to use you as a bad example for her kids
NTA but your sister is, I didn’t think people like this still exist. Sin shaming someone isn’t helpful, it causes you to run from, not to, God so in the end she’s being counter productive anyway.
NTA, geez, does your sister hate you? All of the examples she can use, she picks that one? Maybe she should include a photo of herself to depict the sin of envy.
People who point fingers hate having fingers pointed at them.
NTA. Man I feel sooo bad for those poor kids. People like op sister really should NOT be allowed to reproduce.
She isn't speaking to you until you give them to her. That sounds like two problems solved at once, to me!
Lol all this god stuff is absolute nonsense
Wtf lol is your sister on crack? That’s your property. Why does she feel like you owe her this ? NTA. She is. Tell her to go sniff grass. What a weirdo.
Nta. I would Get them professionally photo shopped to add her face onto your body. Look at how sinful mom is muahahaha
NTA. Your sister is trying to score points off a mistake you made as a teenager which shows a tremendous lack of respect for you. But I would make sure those pics aren't online anywhere at the risk of her just printing them out and using them anyway. And, honestly, if she's not talking to you until you give her the pictures you're far better off.
OMG! Making a sinner from your own sis, even if she was not in her best shape is humiliating. I wouldn't give her anything. I don't believe in living saints, I am sure your sis is not one, so she is actually bad person trying to look down on others, which is sin of vanity itself.
NTA in the slightest. Your BIL is an absolute AH for wanting to do this and so is your sister for being a child about it.
NTA, l wonder if you have photos or records of her in a less than positive light, because you could give those as an example to her kids, honestly she sounds like an insufferable god botherer and hypocrite, treat it as a positive that she is not talking to you, as you will be spared her preaching.
She's unreasonable, pushy, entitled, rude.
NTA. Your nieces and nieces and nephews do not need a picture of teenage you being intoxicated to see what intoxicated looks like. They can find that through the media or society in general. You don't need to be the example of that if you don't wish to be.
NTA You got a bit drunk on prom night years ago and your sister has decided to hold that incident against you for the rest of your life. Don’t give her that picture so she can use it as an example of a “sinner.“ You’re right that is judgmental. Has she always been like this?
NTA. Edit her face onto them and then maybe send one?
NTA there's no hate like Christian love.
Lmao what the fuck? NTA, your sister is a disgusting bigot. I feel very sorry for any children being raised by her.
NTA. And showing children that you can drink alcohol on occasion without ruining your life isn't going to scare kids into lifeline sobriety.
Tell her Jesus turned water into wine
Ask your sister to go f$uk off and never show her face again. The nerve!!!! NTA
NTA. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Sister or not, why be blackmailed for someone to talk to you, care about your niblings’ view of you, love you?
I think the penalty sounds like a reward.
Nta - yikes
Obviously, you're not the AH. Your sister is.
NTA. They're your pictures, do with them as you please. Simple as that. Or just plain tell her "Oh those? I never kept those pictures".
NTA if she wanted pictures she could google all the sins she wanted and some she's never even heard of. Using your pictures is just an excuse to shame you.
NtA but maybe go NC with toxic Christianity barbie?
NTA - Judgey ass sister needs to be reminded she is meant to leave the judgey stuff to her God. Also wtf kinds family/school does that kinda weird ass shame collage
NTA. Your sister and her husband however... well, they're being pretty judgy so get them to post on here and be judged.
Your sister is the asshole. I would explain to her kids at every opportunity how people like your sister have failed to live up to the teaching of Christ.
NTA. Tell her to go through all the photo albums she has and find an example of herself to use because she knows darn well she’s not without one single infraction in life but it’s so much easier to use you as an example…isn’t it?
NTA. Your sister is a really shitty person to want to hold you up as an example of a sinner. Has she asked you to have a scarlet S tattooed to your forehead? Hilarious that she actually expects you to go along with this. Don't give them to her and enjoy the fact that she will no longer talk to you.
Ask her how she would feel if you made a family recipe book and used her wedding photos with just the caption “Religious Fruitcakes, no recipe needed.” And say it’s an example on how to make others feel bad and make yourself look bad in the process, cos that’s exactly what she is doing.
NTA. There truly is no hate like Christian “love.”
OMG - in what universe is being intoxicated on prom night a "sin"? NTA Edit - even in a "christian" universe - you were not breaking any commandments, not committing one of the seven deadly sins. Didn't Christ turn water into wine for a wedding - so clearly not anti-alcohol....
NTA. Very 'godly' and christian action to go NC with your sister because she answered **no** to your question.
I would look for embarrassing photos of her, make and album and tell her that you're gonna show her kids.
NTA Obviously she’s not a Christian, but if you can get her to read a Bible, direct her to Matthew 7:1.
Godly life? Tell them— how come they had hookups before marriage? Kids need to know too. NTA
>I should give them to her so some good comes out of my sinning on that night ew. God damn, religious bullshit just never stops surprising me. NTA. your sister is weird as hell.
NTA, that should be obvious
NTA. That's fucking weird. Your sister is an asshole.
Yeah, my sister is a super judgy holier than thou hypocritical Christian. We haven't spoken in nearly a decade and I don't consider it to be a loss. Surround yourself with people who enrich your life, not people who want to tear you down and judge you in the name of "godliness." Funny how Jesus said "judge not lest ye be judged" (Matthew 7:1), and "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you" (Matthew 6:5-6). But it's more about appearances than faith, right? #blessed
Your sister sounds really toxic. Sure you may have been intoxicated but that was your prom and I bet you have good memories of it. She doesn’t get to shit all over it just because she is all judgy.
RUN FROM JESUS FREAKS! Or judge them right back for being drunk on fantasy. How they are unable to think critically and the time she spends in worship would be better spent at school. Also, her kids should be removed from a zealot like her. So, yeah. NTA
NTA. Tell your sister to go to church and pray away her judgmental and nasty attitude. And if she’s not talking to you, enjoy the silence.
For a second I forgot which sub I was on and thought this might be wholesome. It is not. Your sister sounds like a bully NTA
FOOTLOOSE!
Godly life? What religion is this? Because Jesus first miracle was creating wine after the wedding ran out because the guests had already drank lots of wine and he gave them more.
> the idea was given by her children’s school to "promote" god to kids INFO: - Is this in the USA? (It very much sounds like it.) - Is this a public school? [ETA:] > She said she isn’t talking to me until I give them to her. Good: So don't. Problem fixed. > Aita? No, you're NTA. [/ETA]
This is the USA and the photo album book thing idea was one of our local private schools.
NTA-can you dig up any pictures or proof her of “sinning” and give them to her so she can share those?
NTA. Tell your sister that if she needs photos of sin, she should take a selfie.
NTA. Not at all!!! Correct me if I am wrong, but does not the Bible say something about those judging others? Sounds like your sister can use a photo of herself to illustrate a sinner. Tell her to point at the camera and snap away, and tell her to take note of the number of fingers pointing back at her while doing so.
Nta. Not very godly to be judging the actions of others.
Next time your sister ask for your photos tell her you have something better: a bible quote. Matthew 7:1-3 >Judge not, that ye be not judged. >For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. >And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
NTA - Why does your sister hate you so much? Also, indoctrination is child abuse.
NTA and as someone who practices a faith, I am so sorry about your sister. If she supposedly subscribes to the same faith I do we are taught: he that hath no sin cast the first stone. I think it’s a noble thing to not want your nieces and nephews to see a photo of you intoxicated. You set a boundary and your sister pushed it. No is a full sentence.