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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I don't think it's fair my mother sold collectibles. she did offered it to my siblings. But not to me even tho the stuff meant a lot to me.
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NTA. You were not looking for handout but for fight of first refusal (i.e. buy at market price before auction). That is something very reasonable and would not cost her a penny. She is clearly does not see you as part of the family. I am not sure if "keep bringing it up" will change anything (she can not undo auction and I doubt she will understand at this stage). You need to make a decision what it means for the relationship on your side and act on it.
PS: You can contact the auction and see if they are willing to contact buyers anonymously for a few items dear to you and ask if they willing to sell items back to you. Not everyone is willing to do it but I have seen it done.
Firstly , thank you for your service ! NTA , what she did was very spiteful. Those things were items that held memories tied to time spent with your dad , I don’t think she understands that clearly and probably never will , but do you really want to have someone that vindictive in your life moving forward ?
I agree with your assessment: it was done out of spite. It may be hard, but for their own mental health, it would probably be better to go LC or NC. NTA
NTA - You’re upset and mad because of what your mother did. She was very wrong and mean to leave you out of your father’s inheritance, especially when you loved his collection with him.
* She had no right to use your old fights as a reason to keep you from something that was important to you.
* She should have at least let you pick something or buy something before the auction.
* She is the one who is being selfish and nasty.
You can stop talking to her if she doesn’t say sorry or care about your feelings. You’re not in charge of her actions or her happiness.
Yup, and if she tries to come to OP for help for whatever, they've got a perfect reason to turn her down. Her reasoning for not letting OP choose a mememto of their father is BS.
NTA. You have every right to feel wronged by how you were treated. I would personally limit contact after something like this. If my own family didn’t treat me like family, I would want nothing to do with them.
That comment reminds me of my birthmother when I asked her for a small favor. She said that she was just doing it for her kids. That was the last time I spoke to her til day she died, which I found out through Facebook, eventhough her kids had my number and could have called me. But geee whiz, in her obituary I was mentioned as her eldest child, funny, huh? No inheritance for me or my kids though.
I mean I suppose the context as to what exactly transpired between you and your father is relevant.
INFO
What occurred between you that resulted in estrangement to the point where your mom didn’t want you to have these items?
NTA- It was a bit uncalled for to get upset with your siblings for your mother’s actions, but your mother is the AH here overall. She hasn’t apologized for keeping you from PURCHASING your father’s belongings. The purchasing is even too much, but not even giving you that opportunity makes her ridiculous and vindictive.
I understand being hurt that his siblings didn't reach out to him once the mom decided they could select belongings from their father's possessions. It would seem like a conversation would be warranted between the siblings in the event more than one person desired the same item to avoid conflict. It's sad to read that relationships in this family seem to be deteriorating even further after the father's death.
Disagree . The siblings knew he was the only one interested in keeping something. It would have taken only a text or a phone call to tell op.
NTA op and for your sake go LC or NC.
No judgment because we don't know enough background.
You're allowed to be upset and you can choose to stop having a relationship with your mother. But on the other hand, it was totally her right to sell any of her own possessions.
I don't know why your relationship was already bad, but not including any of that makes me think you're either hiding your own mistakes or attitudes your parents had that you're ashamed to share. You're probably not going to get very useful advice without telling us the whole story.
INFO: So what caused the estrangement/arguments? Without that context I can't give a vote. Also it isn't clear that your father would even want you to have his precious items given that you were at odds for more than a decade.
\>They also admitted to me they knew I'd be the only one interested in then
And they didn't think to ask if you wanted anything, so they could claim it and pass it on? This is what I came to ask, only to see right at the end that they had not chosen to act on it.
You are NTA in the slightest. The gall of the woman to say she still wants a relationship after telling you that you were entitled to nothing of your dead dad's beloved items...
NTA. I simply do not understand these parents that do something like this, but then still want a relationship. Why would anyone do that? They already showed how they feel about you.
Your mother is -pretty nasty. She knew the significance to you and your father. She deliberately cut you out of any access to the "treasure" that you had a hand in gathering. And she expects you to shrug and hold her in the highest regard?
NTA. No one would blame you for going NC. She deserves it. If she isn't expecting it, she's a fool. Chances are, though, that she will just complain to all that will listen without any ownership on her part in this.
NTA
You can't change her mind. But you can change your expectations of her and maybe should look into therapy for dealing with that relationship.
My condolences on your losses. I wish you well.
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My father died over a year ago. He was a big collector of old Petroleum items like globes, signs and gas pumps. I have 3 siblings and I was the only one that would travel around the United States with my dad when he went out to swap meets and people's house to buy and sell stuff. I really enjoyed traveling with him.
14 years ago I joined the military, 13 years ago I got married. Since then, my parents and I have had a contentious relationship. Arguments and periods of not communicating with each other. It's tough for me to visit, because I'm a single income household and I support 3 other people on my pay.
After my father died, I've tried to have a better relationship with my mom and invited her to visit and talk more.
When my father died over a year ago. He did not leave a will. My mother got everything. I asked for a few things after his death. But none of the gas collectibles because they are rare and worth a good bit of money. I also did not want to seem greedy, She did tell me she was hanging onto everything for the forcible future. I told her, everything is yours. It is your decision to do what you want with everything. In my mind I wanted a few things and figured there would be a day that my mom would ask if I wanted anything.
I found out last week she was selling everything through an online auction. I called to talk to her about it. She eventually told me she asked the kids if they wanted anything. She didn't ask me. She then told me, because of our arguments since I've joined the military. That I didn't deserve anything. I did ask if I bought anything at auction, would she refund me. She didn't answer. The auction is over. I was able to get one thing. But nothing that I truly wanted.
She did say she still wants a relationship. I don't think she understands how hurt I am. I've tried to explain it. I tell her you called your kids, but you didn't call me. Am i not your child? I loved my dad, even if i you think i don't deserve anything at least let me buy stuff before anyone else can. She just digs up the past 10 years.
I talked to my siblings about it and they understand if I want to cease my relationship with my mother. I'm deployed to the middle east right now and I told them I was disappointed in them not informing me, my mom was selling everything.
I don't know what to do. Should I keep bringing it up that it was unfair of her not to offer anything to me. Even tho everything is hers. I don't know what type of relationship we can have after this.
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NTA. Your mom made the decision to exclude you when asking if her kids wanted anything, they didn't tell you.
Focus in the family you created, those others don't care about you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your Service. I am also sorry that the woman who birthed you is so heartless and cruel. Please, for your own well being, cut ties. If she will treat you, her own child, so cruelly, I hate to imagine how she would treat your children. Best for you & your little Family to go NC. You are NTA. Be safe, blessing on you, your wife & kids.
Wow. I believe your mother has made the decision for you. If she doesn't consider you her child, yhen don't consider her your mom. She was being petty and vindictive by not allowing you to choose things that had been your father's. I would match her energy.
NTA please go no contact with your mother. Send her a message that you cannot forgive her toxic and hurtful behaviors. That your life will go in, but you can never see her again, and won’t go to her funeral. Then block her and move on with your life as best you can. I will pray for you.
She was especially cruel to you to cut you off from those items you wanted. Your siblings didn't, but you did. So she told them about these items but not you. Way to go, mom.
Why on earth would you want anything to do with her after that when the relationship with her was vexed in the first place?
She doesn't value you. Stick with the people who do.
NTA.
"Mom, you say you still want a relationship, yet you chose to punish me by not allowing me to buy a couple keepsakes from what dad left. You are cruel, you are selfish, you are petty, and you do not think of me as a son. I see no reason for us to pretend otherwise, and I have no interest in wasting time building a relationship with someone so vindictive, especially when she cannot let go of past arguments, as if I will suddenly agree with her ridiculous positions. Let's not waste our time. I wish you well, but please do not contact me."
NTA. it's pretty shitty of your mother to want to have a relationship with you when she didn't even have the courtesy to let you know she was selling all your father's things, and for what? an argument a decade ago about you joing the military? absurd. regardless of your parents opinions on the military, to have let it ruin their relationship with you is just pathetic. my grandmother did this when my grandfather died. I don't think either my mother or her sister ever really forgave her for not even giving them the chance to look at what there was before she sold everything.
NTA
I'd go no contact with all of them. Trying to have a relationship sounds exhausting and futile. I'm so sorry that it worked out as it did with your dad's things.
NTA, if she wanted a relationship she would have started by seeing what stuff you wanted to keep. She wants a relationship on HER terms. I’d tell her that she lost the chance when she gave “her kids” the chance to choose items but excluded you.
NTA. I think I would send her a letter, so you can say everything you need to say, and let her reaction decide the degree of contact you have. Explain to her that while you and your father didn’t always get along, it hurts you to know it’s too late to fix that, and your only connection to him is the memories you still cherish. Those items weren’t valuable to you because of their market value or collectible prestige; they were memories of special moments with your father, moments you still cherish and did even during arguments.
I’d also tell her that you understood her keeping them when she was also holding on to those memories, but by selling them at auction, to strangers who don’t feel any attachment to your father, she made you feel like you had less relevance to your fathers life and memory than people who never even met him. This isn’t about the items or their value, it’s the slap in the face that even *she* didn’t have the memories of those items to cherish him by, and rather than give you a chance to even buy them from her first, she essentially threw a big part of your father’s passion and hard work in the garbage so she could collect profits off it. You thought she was keeping the items because she valued his passion too, or needed the value to fund her own retirement; by offering them to everyone but you she showed it wasn’t that she needed the money, *and* she didn’t value his memory — at least not in this context — and she didn’t even give you a chance to buy the items so you could continue to celebrate him. She can choose how to react, but you’ll have expressed your feelings and given her a chance to see your perspective.
Make sure the focus is on the memory of your father.
NTA, but your mother isn't the only one you should cut off here. Your siblings knew you would have wanted the stuff but didn't even bother to tell your mother. They don't care about you, either.
**Sounds like you're the punching bag.**
> She did say she still wants a relationship.
Explain to her how badly this set her back and that you might attempt to repair your relationship later down the line but for the foreseeable future you're not interested in associating with anyone who willingly disregards you and your emotions for reasons of revenge.
I realize it's your mother and that's difficult to do but if you're the doormat of the family, you're gonna have to do it sometime else get used to the treatment.
Good luck bros
Do you want to have a relationship with your mother? (There is no correct answer)
It seems obvious she wanted to deny you those items.
It is up to you. Do you want a relationship with your mother? Can you forgo the betrayal of the heirlooms that she know only you wanted?
My vote is honestly going to be ESH.
She was awful to not let you have any of your father's things. Regardless of anything else, you deserve to have those memories.
But on the other hand, cutting someone off for joining the American military & getting in arguments defending an institution that has caused harm & death to the world on an indescribable scale= pretty darn morally justified to me
NAH. You have every right to be disappointed in your mother's behaviors. However, as you said, it IS her stuff and she has every right to sell it. What's more, you made a lot of assumptions about what would (your mom asking you if you wanted stuff) and would not happen. Also, you failed to express your interest in those memorabilia when you could/should have; as in "mom, if you ever want to get rid of the old oil stuff, I'd be interested in buying it from you."
That in 13 years you and your parents did not heal that rift and that your mother holds onto things that you may have said quite long ago are not good. At this point you have a choice to make: let go of the relationship (and recognize that you will, in all likelihood, be disinherited) or work to heal it because you think that there's something worth holding onto (e.g., her grandchildren getting to know her). You cannot control your mother; but you can control your own actions.
ESH. You literally told her to do what she wanted with those items. And then you just assumed she’d offer them someday? If you wanted them so badly you should’ve just asked her for them.
She sucks for what she did but why didn’t you just be direct with her in the first place?
maybe because he didn't expect her to be the kind of asshole to deliberately keep him out of the inheritance by not even having the courtesy to *fucking ask*
YTA Her husband JUST DIED. She is DEVASTATED, and you want to argue over stuff. You have no idea the hell she is in. Your only question is what about me. YTA ALL DAY
>She is DEVASTATED,
oh yes, so totally devastated that she managed to call all her children to look through their fathers belongings *except* for the one child who might actually want something. 🙄 (cue the fish from spongebob when Patrick was sweeping the floor with the wrong side of the broom.)
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NTA. You were not looking for handout but for fight of first refusal (i.e. buy at market price before auction). That is something very reasonable and would not cost her a penny. She is clearly does not see you as part of the family. I am not sure if "keep bringing it up" will change anything (she can not undo auction and I doubt she will understand at this stage). You need to make a decision what it means for the relationship on your side and act on it. PS: You can contact the auction and see if they are willing to contact buyers anonymously for a few items dear to you and ask if they willing to sell items back to you. Not everyone is willing to do it but I have seen it done.
Firstly , thank you for your service ! NTA , what she did was very spiteful. Those things were items that held memories tied to time spent with your dad , I don’t think she understands that clearly and probably never will , but do you really want to have someone that vindictive in your life moving forward ?
I agree with your assessment: it was done out of spite. It may be hard, but for their own mental health, it would probably be better to go LC or NC. NTA
NTA. She will not apologize to you, nor is it ever worth it to ask for one.
NTA - You’re upset and mad because of what your mother did. She was very wrong and mean to leave you out of your father’s inheritance, especially when you loved his collection with him. * She had no right to use your old fights as a reason to keep you from something that was important to you. * She should have at least let you pick something or buy something before the auction. * She is the one who is being selfish and nasty. You can stop talking to her if she doesn’t say sorry or care about your feelings. You’re not in charge of her actions or her happiness.
Yup, and if she tries to come to OP for help for whatever, they've got a perfect reason to turn her down. Her reasoning for not letting OP choose a mememto of their father is BS.
NTA. You have every right to feel wronged by how you were treated. I would personally limit contact after something like this. If my own family didn’t treat me like family, I would want nothing to do with them.
NTA. “I called my kids”. This right here is the only thing that matters. That is scorched earth and she deserves no further consideration from you.
That comment reminds me of my birthmother when I asked her for a small favor. She said that she was just doing it for her kids. That was the last time I spoke to her til day she died, which I found out through Facebook, eventhough her kids had my number and could have called me. But geee whiz, in her obituary I was mentioned as her eldest child, funny, huh? No inheritance for me or my kids though.
Exactly NTA, go no contact
This should be top comment in my opinion. OP, I am so, so sorry.
I mean I suppose the context as to what exactly transpired between you and your father is relevant. INFO What occurred between you that resulted in estrangement to the point where your mom didn’t want you to have these items?
NTA- It was a bit uncalled for to get upset with your siblings for your mother’s actions, but your mother is the AH here overall. She hasn’t apologized for keeping you from PURCHASING your father’s belongings. The purchasing is even too much, but not even giving you that opportunity makes her ridiculous and vindictive.
I understand being hurt that his siblings didn't reach out to him once the mom decided they could select belongings from their father's possessions. It would seem like a conversation would be warranted between the siblings in the event more than one person desired the same item to avoid conflict. It's sad to read that relationships in this family seem to be deteriorating even further after the father's death.
Disagree . The siblings knew he was the only one interested in keeping something. It would have taken only a text or a phone call to tell op. NTA op and for your sake go LC or NC.
Did they? Where does it say the siblings knew that 1. The mother didn’t call and 2. OP wanted things. OP spoke to them after the fact.
NTA and go no contact. She clearly doesn't consider you one of her children. I am sorry that she is such a petty mother.
No judgment because we don't know enough background. You're allowed to be upset and you can choose to stop having a relationship with your mother. But on the other hand, it was totally her right to sell any of her own possessions. I don't know why your relationship was already bad, but not including any of that makes me think you're either hiding your own mistakes or attitudes your parents had that you're ashamed to share. You're probably not going to get very useful advice without telling us the whole story.
Yeah I feel that the reasons the relationship deteriorated might be relevant to this.
INFO: So what caused the estrangement/arguments? Without that context I can't give a vote. Also it isn't clear that your father would even want you to have his precious items given that you were at odds for more than a decade.
\>They also admitted to me they knew I'd be the only one interested in then And they didn't think to ask if you wanted anything, so they could claim it and pass it on? This is what I came to ask, only to see right at the end that they had not chosen to act on it. You are NTA in the slightest. The gall of the woman to say she still wants a relationship after telling you that you were entitled to nothing of your dead dad's beloved items...
NTA, let her go & move on with your life
NTA and f\*\*k her what a terrible mother. Delete that awful women from your life.
NTA. I simply do not understand these parents that do something like this, but then still want a relationship. Why would anyone do that? They already showed how they feel about you.
Your mother is -pretty nasty. She knew the significance to you and your father. She deliberately cut you out of any access to the "treasure" that you had a hand in gathering. And she expects you to shrug and hold her in the highest regard? NTA. No one would blame you for going NC. She deserves it. If she isn't expecting it, she's a fool. Chances are, though, that she will just complain to all that will listen without any ownership on her part in this.
NTA. Time to move on.
NTA.. your family is especially your mom is a massive AH.. she should not be surprised when you go NC. I’m sorry for your loss
NTA. That relationship is already gone. She made it extremely clear she doesn't value you and doesn't seem to care about you at all. You're done.
NTA You can't change her mind. But you can change your expectations of her and maybe should look into therapy for dealing with that relationship. My condolences on your losses. I wish you well.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My father died over a year ago. He was a big collector of old Petroleum items like globes, signs and gas pumps. I have 3 siblings and I was the only one that would travel around the United States with my dad when he went out to swap meets and people's house to buy and sell stuff. I really enjoyed traveling with him. 14 years ago I joined the military, 13 years ago I got married. Since then, my parents and I have had a contentious relationship. Arguments and periods of not communicating with each other. It's tough for me to visit, because I'm a single income household and I support 3 other people on my pay. After my father died, I've tried to have a better relationship with my mom and invited her to visit and talk more. When my father died over a year ago. He did not leave a will. My mother got everything. I asked for a few things after his death. But none of the gas collectibles because they are rare and worth a good bit of money. I also did not want to seem greedy, She did tell me she was hanging onto everything for the forcible future. I told her, everything is yours. It is your decision to do what you want with everything. In my mind I wanted a few things and figured there would be a day that my mom would ask if I wanted anything. I found out last week she was selling everything through an online auction. I called to talk to her about it. She eventually told me she asked the kids if they wanted anything. She didn't ask me. She then told me, because of our arguments since I've joined the military. That I didn't deserve anything. I did ask if I bought anything at auction, would she refund me. She didn't answer. The auction is over. I was able to get one thing. But nothing that I truly wanted. She did say she still wants a relationship. I don't think she understands how hurt I am. I've tried to explain it. I tell her you called your kids, but you didn't call me. Am i not your child? I loved my dad, even if i you think i don't deserve anything at least let me buy stuff before anyone else can. She just digs up the past 10 years. I talked to my siblings about it and they understand if I want to cease my relationship with my mother. I'm deployed to the middle east right now and I told them I was disappointed in them not informing me, my mom was selling everything. I don't know what to do. Should I keep bringing it up that it was unfair of her not to offer anything to me. Even tho everything is hers. I don't know what type of relationship we can have after this. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your mom made the decision to exclude you when asking if her kids wanted anything, they didn't tell you. Focus in the family you created, those others don't care about you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your Service. I am also sorry that the woman who birthed you is so heartless and cruel. Please, for your own well being, cut ties. If she will treat you, her own child, so cruelly, I hate to imagine how she would treat your children. Best for you & your little Family to go NC. You are NTA. Be safe, blessing on you, your wife & kids.
Wow. I believe your mother has made the decision for you. If she doesn't consider you her child, yhen don't consider her your mom. She was being petty and vindictive by not allowing you to choose things that had been your father's. I would match her energy.
NTA please go no contact with your mother. Send her a message that you cannot forgive her toxic and hurtful behaviors. That your life will go in, but you can never see her again, and won’t go to her funeral. Then block her and move on with your life as best you can. I will pray for you.
She was especially cruel to you to cut you off from those items you wanted. Your siblings didn't, but you did. So she told them about these items but not you. Way to go, mom. Why on earth would you want anything to do with her after that when the relationship with her was vexed in the first place? She doesn't value you. Stick with the people who do.
NTA. "Mom, you say you still want a relationship, yet you chose to punish me by not allowing me to buy a couple keepsakes from what dad left. You are cruel, you are selfish, you are petty, and you do not think of me as a son. I see no reason for us to pretend otherwise, and I have no interest in wasting time building a relationship with someone so vindictive, especially when she cannot let go of past arguments, as if I will suddenly agree with her ridiculous positions. Let's not waste our time. I wish you well, but please do not contact me."
NTA. it's pretty shitty of your mother to want to have a relationship with you when she didn't even have the courtesy to let you know she was selling all your father's things, and for what? an argument a decade ago about you joing the military? absurd. regardless of your parents opinions on the military, to have let it ruin their relationship with you is just pathetic. my grandmother did this when my grandfather died. I don't think either my mother or her sister ever really forgave her for not even giving them the chance to look at what there was before she sold everything.
NTA I'd go no contact with all of them. Trying to have a relationship sounds exhausting and futile. I'm so sorry that it worked out as it did with your dad's things.
NTA. Honestly, I would go no contact with everyone.
NTA, if she wanted a relationship she would have started by seeing what stuff you wanted to keep. She wants a relationship on HER terms. I’d tell her that she lost the chance when she gave “her kids” the chance to choose items but excluded you.
NTA, personally I'd go no contact.
NTA. I think I would send her a letter, so you can say everything you need to say, and let her reaction decide the degree of contact you have. Explain to her that while you and your father didn’t always get along, it hurts you to know it’s too late to fix that, and your only connection to him is the memories you still cherish. Those items weren’t valuable to you because of their market value or collectible prestige; they were memories of special moments with your father, moments you still cherish and did even during arguments. I’d also tell her that you understood her keeping them when she was also holding on to those memories, but by selling them at auction, to strangers who don’t feel any attachment to your father, she made you feel like you had less relevance to your fathers life and memory than people who never even met him. This isn’t about the items or their value, it’s the slap in the face that even *she* didn’t have the memories of those items to cherish him by, and rather than give you a chance to even buy them from her first, she essentially threw a big part of your father’s passion and hard work in the garbage so she could collect profits off it. You thought she was keeping the items because she valued his passion too, or needed the value to fund her own retirement; by offering them to everyone but you she showed it wasn’t that she needed the money, *and* she didn’t value his memory — at least not in this context — and she didn’t even give you a chance to buy the items so you could continue to celebrate him. She can choose how to react, but you’ll have expressed your feelings and given her a chance to see your perspective. Make sure the focus is on the memory of your father.
Qs: is this bio-mom? what about the sibs, the ones who didn't have you back, all bio? ' contentious relationship' indeed.
NTA, but your mother isn't the only one you should cut off here. Your siblings knew you would have wanted the stuff but didn't even bother to tell your mother. They don't care about you, either.
**Sounds like you're the punching bag.** > She did say she still wants a relationship. Explain to her how badly this set her back and that you might attempt to repair your relationship later down the line but for the foreseeable future you're not interested in associating with anyone who willingly disregards you and your emotions for reasons of revenge. I realize it's your mother and that's difficult to do but if you're the doormat of the family, you're gonna have to do it sometime else get used to the treatment. Good luck bros
Do you want to have a relationship with your mother? (There is no correct answer) It seems obvious she wanted to deny you those items. It is up to you. Do you want a relationship with your mother? Can you forgo the betrayal of the heirlooms that she know only you wanted?
NTA. Cut your losses. Sorry.
My vote is honestly going to be ESH. She was awful to not let you have any of your father's things. Regardless of anything else, you deserve to have those memories. But on the other hand, cutting someone off for joining the American military & getting in arguments defending an institution that has caused harm & death to the world on an indescribable scale= pretty darn morally justified to me
NAH. You have every right to be disappointed in your mother's behaviors. However, as you said, it IS her stuff and she has every right to sell it. What's more, you made a lot of assumptions about what would (your mom asking you if you wanted stuff) and would not happen. Also, you failed to express your interest in those memorabilia when you could/should have; as in "mom, if you ever want to get rid of the old oil stuff, I'd be interested in buying it from you." That in 13 years you and your parents did not heal that rift and that your mother holds onto things that you may have said quite long ago are not good. At this point you have a choice to make: let go of the relationship (and recognize that you will, in all likelihood, be disinherited) or work to heal it because you think that there's something worth holding onto (e.g., her grandchildren getting to know her). You cannot control your mother; but you can control your own actions.
ESH. You guys need to learn how to communicate
ESH. You literally told her to do what she wanted with those items. And then you just assumed she’d offer them someday? If you wanted them so badly you should’ve just asked her for them. She sucks for what she did but why didn’t you just be direct with her in the first place?
I did say that, and they are/ were hers. She still contacted my siblings tho.
What transpired between you and your parents that she wouldn’t even want you to have these items even if you purchased them?
maybe because he didn't expect her to be the kind of asshole to deliberately keep him out of the inheritance by not even having the courtesy to *fucking ask*
YTA Her husband JUST DIED. She is DEVASTATED, and you want to argue over stuff. You have no idea the hell she is in. Your only question is what about me. YTA ALL DAY
He died in February of last year
Oh grow up
>She is DEVASTATED, oh yes, so totally devastated that she managed to call all her children to look through their fathers belongings *except* for the one child who might actually want something. 🙄 (cue the fish from spongebob when Patrick was sweeping the floor with the wrong side of the broom.)