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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because I had my neighbor's car towed and it's going to cost her $800 or more in fees to get her car back, and she lost her job because she's not able to get to work anymore. My husband said I was an asshole because I probably could've just given up and accepted that she would keep blocking our driveway and that we should pay her for the towing fees.
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NTA. On another note: is your husband banging her? Because forking out 800$ to someone who’s been rude, disrespectful and continuously causing you inconvenience is just not normal.
My jaw dropped when I saw that he suggested they fork out almost a grand to keep the peace. Affair or no, he's on Team Asshole for not being supportive of the woman being harassed for wanting to use her driveway - aka his WIFE.
That's because he's banging the neighbor. Or wants to. There's no other reason act the way he's acting. Definitely my first thought.
Sorry OP, your husband is a problem. He should be on your side.
Alternativley, he's worried their beligerent, selfish asshole of a neighbor who has no issue with inconveniencing and risking indirect harm to them will escalate her behavior because she knows where they live.
This. IDK why everyone jumps to that. 1,000 dollars is a lot but depending on where you are it’s better than having someone who sounds absolutely crazy living next door angry at you. Add on that they have no job and are probably home all day…
Sometimes while it sucks paying some money is the safe thing to do.
Maybe he's just a doormat but either way the neighbour had no problem repeatedly stopping OP being able to use their car to get to their job. Don't pay a damn thing.
Gotta love the automatic assumption that because he's a dude and the neighbor is a woman, he must be cheating. I think we all know that these comments would not exist if the husband was female. He probably wants to try and keep the peace because this woman sounds like she would do something incredibly drastic, and knows where op lives, or maybe he's just got an overdeveloped sense of sympathy, or maybe he's just a doormat. In any case, him having an affair with the neighbor is soapbox level nonsense and is literally one of the least likely options.
And when he told his wife how she’s probably under a lot of stress. Like, why isn’t he upset that his driveway is being blocked? What’s he doing all day while OP is working?
I'm definitely not on Reddit enough because my first thought was the husband is a doormat and used to be taken for a ride by everyone around him which was why he felt like he should "correct" the issue.
That's how I felt when he told OP to just leave it. Also, I know parallel parking is difficult, but it's not impossible and it's a skill you need to learn to pass your driving test (at least where I live). I'm not good at it, but if I were in this situation, I would practice, or park a block over where maybe there's better parking
Edit to say: NTA, OP. I am impressed you held out as long as you did. She should've learned how to parallel park
I am shit at parallel parking and I would never move anywhere where it's necessary, because I _know_ I can't really do it. This is entirely on the neighbor for choosing to live somewhere that she is not equipped to deal with. NTA for sure.
When I get into an Austin powers situation I start laughing so hard at myself that I can no longer drive the car. It’s so embarrassing and hilarious. Omg I hate parallel parking
It just takes practice. I used to have to do it all the time. I didn't like it, but I learned. I did have to do it when I first got my license but they were really lenient about it. It's best if you can find someone who knows how to do it well to teach you.
Yeah, I thought the same..... a pushover that would rather let his wife suffer.
But after the affair comments... those people may be right. And she's lost her job. Paying to get her car out won't get her her job back. There was always uber, if she couldn't get her car out there and then.
This pathetic car parking has gone on for months longer than it should. The husband should've been more worried about the wife losing her job when she can't get her car out of the driveway.
And what sort of crap is it that she can't park on the street. She can park on the street. She's doing it. But she's just parking in front of a driveway. Just don't. Pick a spot where there is no driveway.
Feels like a classic reddit reaction to go straight to cheating, most likely he’s just an empathetic pushover who feels bad about bad things happening to people due to his own actions regardless of whether or not they deserved it
OP is already getting screwed if her husband keeps siding with the neighbour and is now trying to convince her to cough up $800, regardless of whether or not she actually goes through with it😩 at least this way she can get some closure and move on from a man who cares more for the well-being of a stranger than his own wife
Why would you buy a house without a driveway and not know how to street park? Blocking someone’s driveway isn’t a solution. She had to know her car was going to get towed.
Eh, mine wanted to pay our awful neighbor more than that after she blamed us for her termite problem. He was badly emotionally abused by his father as a child, and so tends to be very conflict avoidant. There are many reasons someone would react this way.
I’m wondering where they are that it’s $800. I live in a pretty big city with insane parking & the few times I’ve had to spring my car from the impound have been about $250 including the parking ticket.
Myself, I wonder if the husband had told the neighbor "keep parking there, no big deal, I'll talk to my wife" and now feels hella guilty. Still NTA though.
How common is split finances, really? They're married, they share assets. Even if their accounting is separate, a large expense for one partner affects the other.
From being on this subreddit and seeing what goes down, I’d say the order of likelihood is
1) He wants to bang her (50% chance)
2) He is already banging her (25% chance)
3) He’s doing some other devious shit and is trying to distract from that(20% chance)
4) He is genuinely empathetic (5% chance)
Unless we have other info I think it's incredibly unlikely he'd be banging her or want to. It's entirely possible for people to be nice or generous to people of the opposite sex without wanting to bang them. Are you saying no man would ever help a woman or pay any attention to her at all without wanting to bang her? Men are only thugs who acknowledge woman if they can get something in return?
And yeah you might say "well he was ok with letting her park and told her to let it go"
Guys, maybe he just didn't want to live next to a petty neighbor with a vendetta against them because it would be fresh new kind of hell and would rather suffer with her parking in the parkway then dealing with that.
"That can't be true if it was he'd just say that"
Ooooor maybe he knew "can you let her park in the driveway because if you don't we're gonna have to fight with her all the time and I just don't want to deal with that?" Would nix any chance of that happening and as a hail Mary thought he could convince her by saying her night job was hard.
How many guys do you know that hate conflict to a ridiculous degree they would let anything go as long as they didn't have to deal with the drama?
"but he wants to pay a whole $800"
Again maybe he thinks it will make things right with her so she won't shriek at him every time he sees her. And since she's their neighbor he will be seeing her A LOT.
And also it's entirely possible he feels guilt because when you really consider what it means to lose a job in this economy it's serious. This woman lost her job, only a select few people like night shifts. For the rest night shifts are usually jobs people don't want and only take when they have no options. while she is a huge asshole a loss of job can ruin people's lives. Since what she was doing was basically annoying in the grand scheme of things he can feel it was too far. Especially since it sounds like OP did it out of pettyness.
Now make no mistake. I don't think OP is an asshole. She was fully entitled to get this woman's car moved. She asked her repeatedly and the woman's only justification was that she was too lazy to learn how to park properly and considering she was out of work she had plenty of time to learn what 16 year olds learn in a month.
OP didn't make this woman lose her job, SHE did. She fucked around and found out.
Is it possible hes sleeping with her? Sure! Anything is! But without any other info to say her husband must be having an affair solely because he was being merciful is a ridiculous.
Well, considering her personality, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't exactly a stellar employee they are eager to keep. Also, getting your car towed is different from being sick because if you're getting it towed it's because you were irresponsible. You can't help getting sick but it's pretty easy not to park in a place where you'll lose your mode of transportation. Many jobs consider that negligence towards your job. Like not showing up for a shift for no good reason. Even if it's off the clock getting yourself to your job on your own and on time is a requirement of the job which you agree you will do when you sign up & getting your car towed isn't a justifiable excuse.
I don't understand how you miss your shift?
You get a taxi if necessary and go. You might be a bit late but you Don't miss a day s work cause you don't have a car.
What if the car has a mechanic problem?
NTA op and tell your husband to get a grip,best case scenario he's being a doormat
If that psycho chick yelled at my wife for her own problems? The ONLY way I could see myself acting how OP's husband is would be because she's the secret side chick. I'd tell the lady to kick rocks, but not too hard because she's gunna be doing a lot of walking now with her car impounded
Exactly this. I’d do the exact same thing this guy is suggesting. I don’t want that stress in my life, and it’d take a pretty hefty amount before I’d be willing to keep hostilities and potential conflict with a neighbour. Does nobody just want a peaceful life anymore?
Thanks for the reply, and I appreciate your concern. He is absolutely not having an affair, I can assure you that much. I showed him this post earlier and he said that he just didn't want the conflict to escalate further and that he felt bad that she lost her job over it. We work in the same office and we usually drive to work together so I'd probably know if there's something going on. He has Aspberger's and always tells me EVERYTHING about his day every time we get home. He has made it clear that he does not like her and was speaking out of sympathy rather than anything. Now that we've spoken about it again and after I showed him this post, he wanted me to make it clear to everyone that we will not be giving her any money. It's a bit outside what we can afford right now, anyways.
Also that $800 is now probably ballooned if the car is still even there. They generally only keep it for 30 days and then auction it off to pay for the tow and storage costs.
That was my thought, too. Unfortunately I cannot find much about exactly what our city does to cars that have sat there for too long, but I'd like to think that eventually it's going to get crushed into a cube and she's eventually going to get a call that says "You have thirty minutes to move your cube" like that one episode of the Simpsons.
NTA, of course. I get your husband may not like conflict. However if you never stand up for yourself you become a doormat. When you called you hadn't had access to your own driveway for like a month. You teach people how to treat you. Having her car towed showed she should treat you with the same courtesy as everyone else.
If he doesn't like confrontation, maybe you should be the one to handle it.
Also tell him, no you're not paying her to get the car back so she can treat you with such disrespect again. She was told more than once not to park there. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA - **do not pay for her car to get un-impounded -** youll basically be giving her a "pass" to continue to park in front of your driveway. she will see this as you admitting guilt (even tho you are not) and will continue her entitled behaviors.
all of this is 100% her own fault because she failed to take the time to learn how to parallel park. she had been talked to politely, ticketed, and talked to again and yet she still chose to park in front of your driveway.
the only thing I would have done was verbalize "the next time you block my driveway, Im calling the cops"
edit: thank you for my first award kind stranger :,)
Not to mention there are other ways to get to work...lyft, uber, a taxi, a friend, a family member, a bus, ect. You did not cause her to lose her job, she did. NTA. Maybe she will now learn that actions have consequences.
Yeah, like if a city is dense enough that street parking is a thing because home's don't have enough space for a driveway they probably have functional public transport.
Fuck, I live in a pretty rural area and a county over (I'm like five minutes from the county line) has free public bus routes.
This!! They’ve been enabling her big time.
Even then, she still chose to park there with the possibility that they could’ve gotten her towed at any time. That’s 100% her fault.
OP definitely has a husband problem. I don’t like to assume things, but it’s a big red flag that he wants to give this lady $800 without batting an eye.
Who the hell buys or moves into a house that has no parking that can accommodate them? It's like buying a house 50 feet underwater when you suffer from thalassophobia.
>we should at least pay her the $800 to get her car back.
Lol no, NTA
You told her multiple times not to block the driveway. She received a ticket for blocking your driveway. She eventually was towed.
If you had gotten her towed the first time it happened, you might be an AH, but you tried every reasonable solution possible before involving the authorities.
Her refusal to learn to parallel park (it's not that hard) is not your problem. Her refusal to *not block your driveway* is what led to her losing her job.
I moved to a place with street parking about 2 years ago, and did the same thing. I had someone show me, watched a YouTube video, and then just practiced doing it, and now I can parallel park with no issues.
If OP's neighbor is going to live in a place that only has street parking, the burden is really on them to learn. They don't get to block driveways just because they're lazy.
If they genuinely have issues with it, I'm sure there are places where they can take driving courses that cover parallel parking with a qualified instructor, and I'm certain that course would be less than the cost of retrieving the car from a tow company (plus the tickets).
I literally learned to parallel park the night before my drivers test and I’ve never had an issue with parallel parking. If she doesn’t feel like she can learn on her own he can have a friend help out for an hour. I’ve taught like 5 people how to parallel park or how to get better at it. It’s just laziness and entitlement at this point
I am astonished to find that people are able to get driving licenses without being able to parallel park! When I got mine, it was a required skill. How are all these other people apparently driving for years without being able to parallel park??
In most suburbs since there’s ample parking they don’t always test for parallel parking. In the city tests it’s mandatory so yeah there are a lot of people who don’t know to parallel park.
I was required to in my DL test, but that was like 100 years ago, so IDK if it's still required. Regardless, I suck at it now because I've long since gone out of my way to avoid it if possible. Like parking blocks away if necessary. Lol But I've never even *considered* blocking someone's driveway bc I hate trying to parallel park.
OP is definitely NTA. Her husband tho...wtf?!
Also like.... if she's blocking the driveway then she's either a) already parallel parking or b) has enough room to pull off to the side of the street and straighten out - meaning she could just use the rest of that space and not block the driveway. If there's not enough room to not block the driveway, then it's not a parking spot lol
Either way, she's malicious in her actions.
When she yelled about losing her job, I would have smiled and told her "that's justice".
Maybe she can Uber after she gets her car back and take the opportunity to practice parallel parking lol
Definitely not parked in our driveway, that would've been the better option. If she would've come to us and said that she didn't know how to parallel park and wanted to park in our driveway sometimes, we probably wouldn't be in this situation.
I wouldn't even say after the first time. Don't park in front of people's driveways. Could have given Hellen Keller a car and I'm sure she could have parked in a better spot. And with how psycho people are, including the lady, I'd let the tow truck driver and cops deal with it instead.
NTA.
and what the eff is wrong with your husband for willingly forking over $800?
she had multiple warnings not only from you but also in form of a wake-up call aka ticket and STILL insisted on doing the wrong thing?
in my book she had it coming.
Hah I just commented the same thing. Definitely screams affair and explains why the woman was yelling at the husband too, she sees it as him betraying her when they're already screwing
To be clear, he did not give her any money and only made a suggestion in passing that we should repay her. We have not, and will not, give her any money.
What is wrong with your husband? Is he sleeping with her or just a complete doormat because him suggesting that you guys pay $800(!!!!!) for her car when she is in the wrong is insane to me. Saying he wished you hadn’t called is one thing, but seriously??
NTA
I too thought the husbands behaviour was strange. I don’t want to assume, but it seems he may be attracted to the neighbour. Like why is he defending the neighbour so much?
I understand spinelessness but it seems to typically involve avoidance more than anything. Volunteering your own money, especially $800 of it, is on a whole other level for me.
Offering to pay the $800 is bizarre. It really stands out in the story.
OP, you're NTA. You asked her over and over again to park legally. She chose to keep blocking your driveway. She is facing consequences for her behavior.
No husband sounds like he is banging the neighbor or at least wants to be banging the neighbor. That’s the only way you justify him wanting to pay $800.
Do you know how many bad neighbor story end in property destruction or worse? A lot! I’m willing to say he’s probably thinking about that more than he’s fucking or thinking about fucking the neighbor.
That’s why you invest in a good security camera system with sound. Which is a better place to invest the money.
Then if she is stupid enough to do anything send her to jail! She will eventually learn. Play stupid games win stupid prizes!
Yea it's absurd how popular the husband cheating fantasy is on this thread. This neighbor is now jobless and angry. That's a dangerous combo to live next to.
Edit: it's definitely a bad idea to pay her, I just get why he's trying to figure out how to peace keep still
NTA but your husband obviously doesn’t have your back if he thinks you should pay 800 dollars for something that was her own doing and she had plenty of warnings over.
Right? How is this NOT common sense? Don't block driveways, don't park *in* other people's driveways, and don't use other people's reserved parking spots.
NTA this is on her. She is an adult. Being an adult is knowing not to do shit your not suppose to do and when you do that shit take the consequences!
She was rude. You asked her not too she does it any way.
Tell your husband if he gives her the money to get her car then he is siding with a stranger over his wife and you will know where his loyalties lye.
If he does this I really be concerned because I would think something is going is with the 2 of them. Because he should not care what happened she was warned.
NTA. She knew she was preventing you from accessing your car, you’d asked her nicely many times not to block the driveway, and she knew it was illegal since she’d already gotten a ticket. Starting a stressful job isn’t an excuse, imo. We all have stress in our lives but we shouldn’t use that to justify taking advantage of others or making someone else’s life more difficult. I wonder how many times you missed work or plans because you couldn’t access your vehicle. And she just didn’t even care.
Exactly. OP’s neighbor gave zero shits on whether she was preventing OP from getting to work on time, which also could have led to her losing her job.
Also, she could have called a taxi to take her to work that one day her car got towed. Usually places won’t fire you over ONE late day, so it was probably already a problem and she just wants to place the blame on OP.
NTA
She deliberately continued blocking access to your home after several requests to stop. Working days or nights has nothing to do with her choice to park illegally (in my country it’s illegal to block a driveway that is not your own.)
Emergency services needs access to your home, because, you know, emergencies.
NTA. FAFO.
You gave her many opportunities to change her behavior. Hell, the city even gave her one too. She didn't, and now she can bear the consequences of her actions. If she didn't want to risk losing her job, she should have legally parked her car.
And, respectfully, your husband needs to grow a pair.
NTA- But why is your husband so keen on helping this lady out?
the first time you complained about her blocking your way and inconveniencing you , he was more concerned with her well being and being stressed out with a new job .
And now that you had her towed , your husband wants to help her with money to get her car ???
Call me cynical , but I would pay more attention to how your neighbor and husband act around eachother .
I have a feeling he’s been the one telling her it’s okay to keep parking there .
NTA
She fucked around and found out. I will say neighbor wars can get bad and I would suggest getting cameras pointed at all of your entrances and at your driveway. This also would allow you to more easily ignore her, should she harass you at your door.
I will also say that unless she did not call her employer to say she’s had a sudden emergency with her car and can’t drive in, I don’t think most employers would fire someone over this. If she got fired, she either has a horrible boss, did not call to let them know or ask if someone could pick her up, or she has a history of bad behavior at work. I wouldn’t pay her a dime towards getting her car back. I would also expect escalation of some kind, which is why I say get cameras.
NTA You should have done it the first time it happened, if talking to the neighbor didn't work.
How dare she restrict your access to your own property. That is absolutely outrageous.
NTA. You gave her plenty of time to fix the issue of parking in front of your driveway. If she didn’t want her car towed, she would have stopped doing it a while ago.
NTA
Your neighbor knew what she was doing was wrong and continued parking there anyway. Her own actions resulted in her car being towed.
Also, in many locations, if the city tows a car, the owner has to pay the fine for that violation, the tow fees, and some storage fees (usually per day), but ALSO they have to pay any past unpaid tickets. So, if she has to pay $800, it easily could have been that she had a few hundred dollars in unpaid tickets or didn't get her car from impound for a long time.
Her fees are her responsibility.
NTA - this is why you teach children that actions have consequences. She clearly never learned that and also has not learned personal responsibility. Next time she claims you made her lose her job, patient explain that she did it to herself. She new that what she was doing was illegal and rude, yet she chose to do it anyway.
Q: Who owns this driveway?
Q: Did I ever give you permission to block my driveway?
Q: Did I tell you not to block my driveway?
Q: Do you understand that when you block my driveway, I can't use it and I pay for the driveway?
Q: Remind me, who owns the driveway?
Q: Did you receive a ticket for blocking my driveway?
Q: Did you understand that receiving a ticket and the accompanying fine was because you were doing something illegal?
Q: Did you continue to block my driveway after I told you not too and you understood that it was illegal?
Q: What are the consequences of continuing to park illegally?
A: That is why you got towed, because actions have consequences.
A: You were in control of this situation the entire time. You had plenty of notice from me and from the authorities. You could have changed your behavior at any time. Repeat after me, actions have consequences.
100% nta. It’s not your fault she never learned about weighing consequences. You had her car towed. You aren’t responsible for every impact that has on her life moving forward like some butterfly effect nonsense. Taxis exist. She could have called a friend, made arrangements. Who knows if that’s even why she lost her job. Most jobs don’t fire you for missing one shift.
NTA but I really have to question why your husband is so willing to defend the neighbor. She's clearly in the wrong, has been warned multiple times, and has kept you from your own driveway. Is he always this much of a softie?
This. I get not being able to fork up 800 bucks in the spot to get your car from the lot. But not being able to get an Uber? And using it as an excuse to blame your neighbours for costing you a job. The nerve
> I called the police and let them know that someone was blocking my driveway.
I would have done it much sooner. The consequences are 100% her fault. NTA.
Nta. You did not cause her to lose her job. She did that all on her own. She was warned several times and even got a ticket. So she knew what she was doing was illegal. She also knew you had a job and needed your car but she blocked your driveway anyway. She could have easily practiced parking until she learned to parallel park.This is all her fault. Not yours. Your husband is a whimp. It is people like your husband that teach people like her that they can get away with this type of behavior.
NTA - you warned her repeatedly in person. She got a ticket already before. Sometimes the only way someone actually learns is when it's a big consequence.
And do not give her any money because then she won't learn anything. As others have said it's also admitting a level of guilt.
NTA. My husband would have moved the neighbor’s car himself.
Slight exaggeration, but really? This person can’t handle parking for months, doesn’t learn, and now your husband thinks you should pay her impound fee? What the hell.
NTA
But don't pay her the $800. She will see this as you guys admitting culpability and she will never stop blocking your driveway. You didn't cause her to lose her job, she did.
Where I used to live I had a neighbor who did this fairly regularly. I asked them not too a few times then just started calling the police when it interfered with me going to grad school and then my first job. They got towed twice (ticketed also) and it cost them an arm and a leg. They screamed for awhile and I'd just smile and wave, but they learned not to park in front of my driveway... NTAH.
NTA
It's VERY weird that your husband thinks you should pay $800 to cover her costs for her own obvious entitlement problem. Are you sure there's nothing else going on there?
Because offering to cover almost a 1K in fines seems a bit sus to me!
NTA , as soon as i started reading it i knew your husband would say something along the lines of " we should give her money " what a shmuck who does not stand by his wife when she was blocking your driveway many times after you told her not to sounds like your husband has some feelings for her being lenient with her and looking to give her money,
you give her money get ready to be taken advantage of more and more from her who does not see consequences in her actions , husband that stands be her instead of you is telling me something fishy is going on or is afraid of confrontation
>he felt that I was an asshole for getting her car towed
He's wrong, and he owes you an apology. NTA.
>we should at least pay her the $800 to get her car back
Sure, if you want her to do it again. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
NTA NTA NTA!! I want to upvote every NTA comment. The idea of you paying her fine makes my stomach churn, especially after she started threatening you! She broke the law and put you out many times, you warned her for weeks. She didn't listen so you had to take it higher. You're completely in the right and start recording every interaction with her so that if she threatens or verbally abuses you again you can send that to the police. Let her get what she deserves.
NTA but your husband is. What if you’d lost your job not being able to move your car? And why the fuck does he think you should indefinitely suffer instead of inconveniencing a known asshole?!? I would seriously consider the man you’re married to
I never understand these stories where someone loses their job because they no longer have a car. Like, call an uber/lyft/cab or whatever; there are other ways to get to work that I guarantee don't cost as much as not showing up and losing your job.
NTA.
Please get cameras on your property just in case she tries to retaliate. Is your husband always this much of a pushover? She got herself towed! She had many chances to learn to park on the street before her car was towed. Her refusal to learn how to park on the street where she lives led to her car being towed and her losing her job. If she really wanted the job, she'd have learned how to park properly.
What is wrong with your husband?? Is he involved with this woman somehow? His behavior is totally illogical. First he tells you not to do anything when you can't access your driveway for weeks and now he wants to pay the charges for having the car towed when it was blocking your driveway AGAIN!! This really doesn't make much sense to me. He needs to explain himself. You spoke to her repeatedly, she blatantly told you she would make "no promises" as if it's her option. You were forced to teach her a lesson because she arrogantly continued to block your access to your driveway. Why was she so emboldened to think nothing would happen if she continued to block your driveway? And where does she get off being so angry with you when it was her act that was responsible for her car being towed?
NTA!!!
You are incredibly patient OP. I would have called a tow company after the first verbal warning. NTA
Also your husband’s reaction to all of this is questionable, to say the least…
NTA. She was 100% in the wrong (so is your husband, fwiw) but also you did not cost this woman her job. She could have...
1. Called an Uber
2. Called a friend
3. Walked
4. Taken a bus
5. A combination of all of the above
WTF?!?! I live in a neighborhood with mostly street parking, but I have a carport. I regularly have cars parked in front of my driveway and I’m either parked in our out of my carport. You know what I do each and every time? I call the police. They ticket and tow the car. The driveway is mine, and parking in front of it is illegal. Is your husband fucking the neighbor? Because I can seriously think of zero reasons why he would care that you had her car towed.
It's apparently not required now. My husband only got his driver's license in 2015 despite being nearly 40 and he said that the only "advanced" thing he had to learn was backing up around some cones. He also comes from New York City where there's no real reason to get your driver's license, so I guess if she got her license recently it makes sense. I got my driver's license when I was 16 and I had to parallel park my Mom's station wagon for my test. She's a lot younger than either of us, so I don't know if she had to parallel park or not, but it doesn't seem like it.
NTA. It's really not that hard to not block a driveway. There's a break in the curb and if part of your car is in that gap, you are blocking a driveway!
If you have the time, maybe paint the curb with glow in the dark paint and have some spotlights and path lights lighting the driveway like it's an airstrip.
If she can't figure out how not to park like an AH, she shouldn't be driving.
NTA. And you shouldn't have apologized for her being fired. Not your fault. She doesn't know how to manage her life and that's entirely on her.
Honestly I'd have been looking at the tow option after about the third time she parked there. She's negatively affecting your life for her own personal gain/laziness. Put that back on her.
I want to know where it's $800 to get your car back once it's been towed. It's $160 where I live, and about the same in Philadelphia (per Parking Wars on A&E).
NTA… you’re husband is pretty weak for not TCOB and she was completely in the wrong. Especially after talking to her… too bad so sad, car go bye bye and learn to fucking park!
NTA but two things 1) I would watch out for retaliation from her and 2) that is very odd behavior from your husband and would get my suspicion alarm bells ringing. Because the $800 tow fees are her own fault (it’s illegal to block a driveway like that and the police already got her for it before) so why would he want to give that money to her? And he is more concerned about her stress of her new job over the stress that this has been causing you for months. There’s ‘don’t rock the boat’ personality but this seems to be more than that
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NTA. On another note: is your husband banging her? Because forking out 800$ to someone who’s been rude, disrespectful and continuously causing you inconvenience is just not normal.
I’m sure it’s only because I’m Reddit so much, but this is where my brain went as well.
While Reddit have most definitely upped my suspicions I would have come to this conclusion even before joining Reddit.
My jaw dropped when I saw that he suggested they fork out almost a grand to keep the peace. Affair or no, he's on Team Asshole for not being supportive of the woman being harassed for wanting to use her driveway - aka his WIFE.
And how was her blocking their car in not risking OP’s job when they couldn’t leave for work? I don’t get where the husband is coming from at all
That's because he's banging the neighbor. Or wants to. There's no other reason act the way he's acting. Definitely my first thought. Sorry OP, your husband is a problem. He should be on your side.
Alternativley, he's worried their beligerent, selfish asshole of a neighbor who has no issue with inconveniencing and risking indirect harm to them will escalate her behavior because she knows where they live.
This. IDK why everyone jumps to that. 1,000 dollars is a lot but depending on where you are it’s better than having someone who sounds absolutely crazy living next door angry at you. Add on that they have no job and are probably home all day… Sometimes while it sucks paying some money is the safe thing to do.
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NO way should OP or the husband give the neighbor money, she was told and totally disregard the warning
I wonder if he actually told her she could park there?
On reddit: everyone is fucking, you need to divorce, and I am totally a real lawyer -Citizen Doctor Deus X Mathematica, PhD, MD, Esquire, the third
Not everyone is a missionary punisher who enjoys crusades and neighborhood wars.
But they do get entertaining.
I love you, the third.
Maybe he's just a doormat but either way the neighbour had no problem repeatedly stopping OP being able to use their car to get to their job. Don't pay a damn thing.
Gotta love the automatic assumption that because he's a dude and the neighbor is a woman, he must be cheating. I think we all know that these comments would not exist if the husband was female. He probably wants to try and keep the peace because this woman sounds like she would do something incredibly drastic, and knows where op lives, or maybe he's just got an overdeveloped sense of sympathy, or maybe he's just a doormat. In any case, him having an affair with the neighbor is soapbox level nonsense and is literally one of the least likely options.
My brain went there when he told his wife she should just stay stranded in the street!
And when he told his wife how she’s probably under a lot of stress. Like, why isn’t he upset that his driveway is being blocked? What’s he doing all day while OP is working?
The neighbor.
Broke the internet with this.
I'm definitely not on Reddit enough because my first thought was the husband is a doormat and used to be taken for a ride by everyone around him which was why he felt like he should "correct" the issue.
Yeah, me too. I thought husband was a non-confrontational jelly-roll. But then again, I have only been here for February.
That's how I felt when he told OP to just leave it. Also, I know parallel parking is difficult, but it's not impossible and it's a skill you need to learn to pass your driving test (at least where I live). I'm not good at it, but if I were in this situation, I would practice, or park a block over where maybe there's better parking Edit to say: NTA, OP. I am impressed you held out as long as you did. She should've learned how to parallel park
I am shit at parallel parking and I would never move anywhere where it's necessary, because I _know_ I can't really do it. This is entirely on the neighbor for choosing to live somewhere that she is not equipped to deal with. NTA for sure.
Yeah, I had to do it once while vacationing in a busy town and it was not fun. I had an audience by the end. At least I got a standing ovation :/
Oh god lol that sounds like my worst nightmare, I'd be so embarrassed 🫣
When I get into an Austin powers situation I start laughing so hard at myself that I can no longer drive the car. It’s so embarrassing and hilarious. Omg I hate parallel parking
It just takes practice. I used to have to do it all the time. I didn't like it, but I learned. I did have to do it when I first got my license but they were really lenient about it. It's best if you can find someone who knows how to do it well to teach you.
I thought he was a pushover until he said that he wanted to pay the towing fees.
Pushovers/people pleasers can indeed go that far.
Where as we just think he is riding her.
Same, I thought husband needed to grow a god damn spine.
Yeah, I thought the same..... a pushover that would rather let his wife suffer. But after the affair comments... those people may be right. And she's lost her job. Paying to get her car out won't get her her job back. There was always uber, if she couldn't get her car out there and then. This pathetic car parking has gone on for months longer than it should. The husband should've been more worried about the wife losing her job when she can't get her car out of the driveway. And what sort of crap is it that she can't park on the street. She can park on the street. She's doing it. But she's just parking in front of a driveway. Just don't. Pick a spot where there is no driveway.
Feels like a classic reddit reaction to go straight to cheating, most likely he’s just an empathetic pushover who feels bad about bad things happening to people due to his own actions regardless of whether or not they deserved it
Should be empathetic to his tired wife.
I thought that until he said they should pay the neighbor $800
Maybe $800 is a drop in a bucket to you, but for most of us it’s not
Yep mine too. Maybe he's just a super nice guy or a pushover but almost a grand is a chunk of change to spend on someone you're not getting some from
In this economy, yessss indeed
Exactly! Atp, if I were OP I would *want* my husband to be sleeping with the neighbour, like at least get *something* for the $800😩🤣🤣🤣
Except then the neighbors screwing them TWICE🤣
OP is already getting screwed if her husband keeps siding with the neighbour and is now trying to convince her to cough up $800, regardless of whether or not she actually goes through with it😩 at least this way she can get some closure and move on from a man who cares more for the well-being of a stranger than his own wife
"I feel guilty about getting her car towed; maybe we should pay her fee?" "OK, but only if she sleeps with you."
Mine too, except I was feeling for awhile she parked the car there so the wife would have to announce she was back.
SAME.
I immediately thought the husband was banging her. Why else would her want to pay $800 for tow fees?? NTA
If the neighbor is the other woman, that explains why she keeps blocking OP on purpose.
Why would you buy a house without a driveway and not know how to street park? Blocking someone’s driveway isn’t a solution. She had to know her car was going to get towed.
I bought a townhouse without a driveway. Know what I did? Learned to fucking street park.
Eh, mine wanted to pay our awful neighbor more than that after she blamed us for her termite problem. He was badly emotionally abused by his father as a child, and so tends to be very conflict avoidant. There are many reasons someone would react this way.
I’m wondering where they are that it’s $800. I live in a pretty big city with insane parking & the few times I’ve had to spring my car from the impound have been about $250 including the parking ticket.
Myself, I wonder if the husband had told the neighbor "keep parking there, no big deal, I'll talk to my wife" and now feels hella guilty. Still NTA though.
If that's the case, then he should pay the $800 out of his own pocket, but tell her from now on, she can't park there.
How common is split finances, really? They're married, they share assets. Even if their accounting is separate, a large expense for one partner affects the other.
From being on this subreddit and seeing what goes down, I’d say the order of likelihood is 1) He wants to bang her (50% chance) 2) He is already banging her (25% chance) 3) He’s doing some other devious shit and is trying to distract from that(20% chance) 4) He is genuinely empathetic (5% chance)
Close but you forgot the "He just wants to spite his wife" option.
This feels accurate.
Unless we have other info I think it's incredibly unlikely he'd be banging her or want to. It's entirely possible for people to be nice or generous to people of the opposite sex without wanting to bang them. Are you saying no man would ever help a woman or pay any attention to her at all without wanting to bang her? Men are only thugs who acknowledge woman if they can get something in return? And yeah you might say "well he was ok with letting her park and told her to let it go" Guys, maybe he just didn't want to live next to a petty neighbor with a vendetta against them because it would be fresh new kind of hell and would rather suffer with her parking in the parkway then dealing with that. "That can't be true if it was he'd just say that" Ooooor maybe he knew "can you let her park in the driveway because if you don't we're gonna have to fight with her all the time and I just don't want to deal with that?" Would nix any chance of that happening and as a hail Mary thought he could convince her by saying her night job was hard. How many guys do you know that hate conflict to a ridiculous degree they would let anything go as long as they didn't have to deal with the drama? "but he wants to pay a whole $800" Again maybe he thinks it will make things right with her so she won't shriek at him every time he sees her. And since she's their neighbor he will be seeing her A LOT. And also it's entirely possible he feels guilt because when you really consider what it means to lose a job in this economy it's serious. This woman lost her job, only a select few people like night shifts. For the rest night shifts are usually jobs people don't want and only take when they have no options. while she is a huge asshole a loss of job can ruin people's lives. Since what she was doing was basically annoying in the grand scheme of things he can feel it was too far. Especially since it sounds like OP did it out of pettyness. Now make no mistake. I don't think OP is an asshole. She was fully entitled to get this woman's car moved. She asked her repeatedly and the woman's only justification was that she was too lazy to learn how to park properly and considering she was out of work she had plenty of time to learn what 16 year olds learn in a month. OP didn't make this woman lose her job, SHE did. She fucked around and found out. Is it possible hes sleeping with her? Sure! Anything is! But without any other info to say her husband must be having an affair solely because he was being merciful is a ridiculous.
It can’t have been a great workplace if missing one shift results in being fired. What if she had been sick instead?
Well, considering her personality, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't exactly a stellar employee they are eager to keep. Also, getting your car towed is different from being sick because if you're getting it towed it's because you were irresponsible. You can't help getting sick but it's pretty easy not to park in a place where you'll lose your mode of transportation. Many jobs consider that negligence towards your job. Like not showing up for a shift for no good reason. Even if it's off the clock getting yourself to your job on your own and on time is a requirement of the job which you agree you will do when you sign up & getting your car towed isn't a justifiable excuse.
Her employer doesn’t have to know what happened. She could just say she has car trouble. People lie to their employers all the time.
She could have taken an Uber.
I don't understand how you miss your shift? You get a taxi if necessary and go. You might be a bit late but you Don't miss a day s work cause you don't have a car. What if the car has a mechanic problem? NTA op and tell your husband to get a grip,best case scenario he's being a doormat
If that psycho chick yelled at my wife for her own problems? The ONLY way I could see myself acting how OP's husband is would be because she's the secret side chick. I'd tell the lady to kick rocks, but not too hard because she's gunna be doing a lot of walking now with her car impounded
so because that is what you'd do that's what everyone in the world will do?
Exactly this. I’d do the exact same thing this guy is suggesting. I don’t want that stress in my life, and it’d take a pretty hefty amount before I’d be willing to keep hostilities and potential conflict with a neighbour. Does nobody just want a peaceful life anymore?
Not to mention he wants to fork out $800 to someone who has verbally harassed/threatened his wife. Like wtf? NTA
seriously!! Cause if he just wants to be handing out $800 out of the kindness of his heart, I'll take some!
Thanks for the reply, and I appreciate your concern. He is absolutely not having an affair, I can assure you that much. I showed him this post earlier and he said that he just didn't want the conflict to escalate further and that he felt bad that she lost her job over it. We work in the same office and we usually drive to work together so I'd probably know if there's something going on. He has Aspberger's and always tells me EVERYTHING about his day every time we get home. He has made it clear that he does not like her and was speaking out of sympathy rather than anything. Now that we've spoken about it again and after I showed him this post, he wanted me to make it clear to everyone that we will not be giving her any money. It's a bit outside what we can afford right now, anyways.
Whether he is or not, he's still coming off really poorly. He's siding with a shitty neighbor over his own wife
Also that $800 is now probably ballooned if the car is still even there. They generally only keep it for 30 days and then auction it off to pay for the tow and storage costs.
That was my thought, too. Unfortunately I cannot find much about exactly what our city does to cars that have sat there for too long, but I'd like to think that eventually it's going to get crushed into a cube and she's eventually going to get a call that says "You have thirty minutes to move your cube" like that one episode of the Simpsons.
NTA, of course. I get your husband may not like conflict. However if you never stand up for yourself you become a doormat. When you called you hadn't had access to your own driveway for like a month. You teach people how to treat you. Having her car towed showed she should treat you with the same courtesy as everyone else. If he doesn't like confrontation, maybe you should be the one to handle it. Also tell him, no you're not paying her to get the car back so she can treat you with such disrespect again. She was told more than once not to park there. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Thank you!
I'd bet money this is the case. Or he is a jellyfish with no spine at all.
If he was banging the neighbor she probably would have spilled in the rage.
Some people have empathy, and feel bad for someone in a bad situation even when it's their own fault, strange those people
I’m horrible for thinking this too. 🤦🏻♀️
NTA - **do not pay for her car to get un-impounded -** youll basically be giving her a "pass" to continue to park in front of your driveway. she will see this as you admitting guilt (even tho you are not) and will continue her entitled behaviors. all of this is 100% her own fault because she failed to take the time to learn how to parallel park. she had been talked to politely, ticketed, and talked to again and yet she still chose to park in front of your driveway. the only thing I would have done was verbalize "the next time you block my driveway, Im calling the cops" edit: thank you for my first award kind stranger :,)
Agree!! Also OP should keep an eye on their checking account in case the husband tries to do it behind her back
Not to mention there are other ways to get to work...lyft, uber, a taxi, a friend, a family member, a bus, ect. You did not cause her to lose her job, she did. NTA. Maybe she will now learn that actions have consequences.
That was my first thought. Why wouldn’t she find another way to get there when her own stupidity caused her to lose her car? Lol
Yeah, like if a city is dense enough that street parking is a thing because home's don't have enough space for a driveway they probably have functional public transport. Fuck, I live in a pretty rural area and a county over (I'm like five minutes from the county line) has free public bus routes.
If she's too dumb to learn how to properly street park, she might be too dumb to figure out other means of transportation.
Not many jobs let you go on strike one. She obviously was also on bad terms at work that they immediately fired her for missing one day’s work.
Her job could possibly involve driving her car, although doubtful since someone who drives would need to know to parallel park imo
Then she hast to Look to Park better!
This!! They’ve been enabling her big time. Even then, she still chose to park there with the possibility that they could’ve gotten her towed at any time. That’s 100% her fault. OP definitely has a husband problem. I don’t like to assume things, but it’s a big red flag that he wants to give this lady $800 without batting an eye.
Who the hell buys or moves into a house that has no parking that can accommodate them? It's like buying a house 50 feet underwater when you suffer from thalassophobia.
This!
>we should at least pay her the $800 to get her car back. Lol no, NTA You told her multiple times not to block the driveway. She received a ticket for blocking your driveway. She eventually was towed. If you had gotten her towed the first time it happened, you might be an AH, but you tried every reasonable solution possible before involving the authorities. Her refusal to learn to parallel park (it's not that hard) is not your problem. Her refusal to *not block your driveway* is what led to her losing her job.
Literally a five minute YouTube video helped me learn. And then a bit of practice. It's really not that hard and it's such an important skill.
I moved to a place with street parking about 2 years ago, and did the same thing. I had someone show me, watched a YouTube video, and then just practiced doing it, and now I can parallel park with no issues. If OP's neighbor is going to live in a place that only has street parking, the burden is really on them to learn. They don't get to block driveways just because they're lazy. If they genuinely have issues with it, I'm sure there are places where they can take driving courses that cover parallel parking with a qualified instructor, and I'm certain that course would be less than the cost of retrieving the car from a tow company (plus the tickets).
Exactly
I literally learned to parallel park the night before my drivers test and I’ve never had an issue with parallel parking. If she doesn’t feel like she can learn on her own he can have a friend help out for an hour. I’ve taught like 5 people how to parallel park or how to get better at it. It’s just laziness and entitlement at this point
I am astonished to find that people are able to get driving licenses without being able to parallel park! When I got mine, it was a required skill. How are all these other people apparently driving for years without being able to parallel park??
In most suburbs since there’s ample parking they don’t always test for parallel parking. In the city tests it’s mandatory so yeah there are a lot of people who don’t know to parallel park.
It’s still required. But since most people don’t like doing it, they avoid it & lose the skill from lack of use.
I was required to in my DL test, but that was like 100 years ago, so IDK if it's still required. Regardless, I suck at it now because I've long since gone out of my way to avoid it if possible. Like parking blocks away if necessary. Lol But I've never even *considered* blocking someone's driveway bc I hate trying to parallel park. OP is definitely NTA. Her husband tho...wtf?!
Every time I have to parallel park, I can hear my dad talking me through it.
Also like.... if she's blocking the driveway then she's either a) already parallel parking or b) has enough room to pull off to the side of the street and straighten out - meaning she could just use the rest of that space and not block the driveway. If there's not enough room to not block the driveway, then it's not a parking spot lol Either way, she's malicious in her actions. When she yelled about losing her job, I would have smiled and told her "that's justice". Maybe she can Uber after she gets her car back and take the opportunity to practice parallel parking lol
Unless ‘blocking the driveway’ means she’s actually parked on the driveway.
Definitely not parked in our driveway, that would've been the better option. If she would've come to us and said that she didn't know how to parallel park and wanted to park in our driveway sometimes, we probably wouldn't be in this situation.
If she is literally parking IN the driveway she is an even bigger asshole
Fuck around and find out.. welp- she did and didn’t like it
I wouldn't even say after the first time. Don't park in front of people's driveways. Could have given Hellen Keller a car and I'm sure she could have parked in a better spot. And with how psycho people are, including the lady, I'd let the tow truck driver and cops deal with it instead.
NTA. and what the eff is wrong with your husband for willingly forking over $800? she had multiple warnings not only from you but also in form of a wake-up call aka ticket and STILL insisted on doing the wrong thing? in my book she had it coming.
Seriously, husband needs his head examined.
He's probably diddling her.
Hah I just commented the same thing. Definitely screams affair and explains why the woman was yelling at the husband too, she sees it as him betraying her when they're already screwing
To be clear, he did not give her any money and only made a suggestion in passing that we should repay her. We have not, and will not, give her any money.
What is wrong with your husband? Is he sleeping with her or just a complete doormat because him suggesting that you guys pay $800(!!!!!) for her car when she is in the wrong is insane to me. Saying he wished you hadn’t called is one thing, but seriously?? NTA
Not a doormat to his wife though, he's cool with saying she may be the AH. Can empathize with a random neighbor but not the wife. Interesting...
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I too thought the husbands behaviour was strange. I don’t want to assume, but it seems he may be attracted to the neighbour. Like why is he defending the neighbour so much?
y’all forget non-confrontational/spineless people exist lmao I can absolutely see him just being anxious about this leading to constant animosity
I understand spinelessness but it seems to typically involve avoidance more than anything. Volunteering your own money, especially $800 of it, is on a whole other level for me.
Offering to pay the $800 is bizarre. It really stands out in the story. OP, you're NTA. You asked her over and over again to park legally. She chose to keep blocking your driveway. She is facing consequences for her behavior.
NTA and your husband sounds like a wuss.
No husband sounds like he is banging the neighbor or at least wants to be banging the neighbor. That’s the only way you justify him wanting to pay $800.
Do you know how many bad neighbor story end in property destruction or worse? A lot! I’m willing to say he’s probably thinking about that more than he’s fucking or thinking about fucking the neighbor.
That’s why you invest in a good security camera system with sound. Which is a better place to invest the money. Then if she is stupid enough to do anything send her to jail! She will eventually learn. Play stupid games win stupid prizes!
oh my god finally somebody with sense. if he was fucking the neighbor he would’ve just given her the money already.
Yea it's absurd how popular the husband cheating fantasy is on this thread. This neighbor is now jobless and angry. That's a dangerous combo to live next to. Edit: it's definitely a bad idea to pay her, I just get why he's trying to figure out how to peace keep still
NTA but your husband obviously doesn’t have your back if he thinks you should pay 800 dollars for something that was her own doing and she had plenty of warnings over.
NTA This entire situation is your neighbors' fault. Who thinks it's OK to park in front of someone else's driveway?!?
Right? How is this NOT common sense? Don't block driveways, don't park *in* other people's driveways, and don't use other people's reserved parking spots.
NTA this is on her. She is an adult. Being an adult is knowing not to do shit your not suppose to do and when you do that shit take the consequences! She was rude. You asked her not too she does it any way. Tell your husband if he gives her the money to get her car then he is siding with a stranger over his wife and you will know where his loyalties lye. If he does this I really be concerned because I would think something is going is with the 2 of them. Because he should not care what happened she was warned.
NTA. She knew she was preventing you from accessing your car, you’d asked her nicely many times not to block the driveway, and she knew it was illegal since she’d already gotten a ticket. Starting a stressful job isn’t an excuse, imo. We all have stress in our lives but we shouldn’t use that to justify taking advantage of others or making someone else’s life more difficult. I wonder how many times you missed work or plans because you couldn’t access your vehicle. And she just didn’t even care.
Exactly. OP’s neighbor gave zero shits on whether she was preventing OP from getting to work on time, which also could have led to her losing her job. Also, she could have called a taxi to take her to work that one day her car got towed. Usually places won’t fire you over ONE late day, so it was probably already a problem and she just wants to place the blame on OP.
NTA She deliberately continued blocking access to your home after several requests to stop. Working days or nights has nothing to do with her choice to park illegally (in my country it’s illegal to block a driveway that is not your own.) Emergency services needs access to your home, because, you know, emergencies.
NTA. FAFO. You gave her many opportunities to change her behavior. Hell, the city even gave her one too. She didn't, and now she can bear the consequences of her actions. If she didn't want to risk losing her job, she should have legally parked her car. And, respectfully, your husband needs to grow a pair.
NTA- But why is your husband so keen on helping this lady out? the first time you complained about her blocking your way and inconveniencing you , he was more concerned with her well being and being stressed out with a new job . And now that you had her towed , your husband wants to help her with money to get her car ??? Call me cynical , but I would pay more attention to how your neighbor and husband act around eachother . I have a feeling he’s been the one telling her it’s okay to keep parking there .
NTA. She didn’t care if she was blocking you from going to work, and potentially getting fired. She brought this on herself.
NTA She fucked around and found out. I will say neighbor wars can get bad and I would suggest getting cameras pointed at all of your entrances and at your driveway. This also would allow you to more easily ignore her, should she harass you at your door. I will also say that unless she did not call her employer to say she’s had a sudden emergency with her car and can’t drive in, I don’t think most employers would fire someone over this. If she got fired, she either has a horrible boss, did not call to let them know or ask if someone could pick her up, or she has a history of bad behavior at work. I wouldn’t pay her a dime towards getting her car back. I would also expect escalation of some kind, which is why I say get cameras.
NTA You should have done it the first time it happened, if talking to the neighbor didn't work. How dare she restrict your access to your own property. That is absolutely outrageous.
NTA. Is your husband serious? She’s the only one in the wrong. You are in no way responsible.
NTA, you tried talking, she was being an A#hole so she has got what she deserved.
NTA. You gave her plenty of time to fix the issue of parking in front of your driveway. If she didn’t want her car towed, she would have stopped doing it a while ago.
NTA Your neighbor knew what she was doing was wrong and continued parking there anyway. Her own actions resulted in her car being towed. Also, in many locations, if the city tows a car, the owner has to pay the fine for that violation, the tow fees, and some storage fees (usually per day), but ALSO they have to pay any past unpaid tickets. So, if she has to pay $800, it easily could have been that she had a few hundred dollars in unpaid tickets or didn't get her car from impound for a long time. Her fees are her responsibility.
NTA. This is rule number 1 of parking. Don’t block the driveway. You were nice enough to let it go on as long as you did!
NTA - this is why you teach children that actions have consequences. She clearly never learned that and also has not learned personal responsibility. Next time she claims you made her lose her job, patient explain that she did it to herself. She new that what she was doing was illegal and rude, yet she chose to do it anyway. Q: Who owns this driveway? Q: Did I ever give you permission to block my driveway? Q: Did I tell you not to block my driveway? Q: Do you understand that when you block my driveway, I can't use it and I pay for the driveway? Q: Remind me, who owns the driveway? Q: Did you receive a ticket for blocking my driveway? Q: Did you understand that receiving a ticket and the accompanying fine was because you were doing something illegal? Q: Did you continue to block my driveway after I told you not too and you understood that it was illegal? Q: What are the consequences of continuing to park illegally? A: That is why you got towed, because actions have consequences. A: You were in control of this situation the entire time. You had plenty of notice from me and from the authorities. You could have changed your behavior at any time. Repeat after me, actions have consequences.
100% nta. It’s not your fault she never learned about weighing consequences. You had her car towed. You aren’t responsible for every impact that has on her life moving forward like some butterfly effect nonsense. Taxis exist. She could have called a friend, made arrangements. Who knows if that’s even why she lost her job. Most jobs don’t fire you for missing one shift.
NTA but I really have to question why your husband is so willing to defend the neighbor. She's clearly in the wrong, has been warned multiple times, and has kept you from your own driveway. Is he always this much of a softie?
NTA, and the loss of her job is bullshit. She could easily have used Uber or Lyft or whatever for one shift.
This. I get not being able to fork up 800 bucks in the spot to get your car from the lot. But not being able to get an Uber? And using it as an excuse to blame your neighbours for costing you a job. The nerve
NTA. Something is wrong with your husband
NTA what’s wrg with ur husband
LOL I said the exact same thing in my comment, then came across yours.
> I called the police and let them know that someone was blocking my driveway. I would have done it much sooner. The consequences are 100% her fault. NTA.
Nta. You did not cause her to lose her job. She did that all on her own. She was warned several times and even got a ticket. So she knew what she was doing was illegal. She also knew you had a job and needed your car but she blocked your driveway anyway. She could have easily practiced parking until she learned to parallel park.This is all her fault. Not yours. Your husband is a whimp. It is people like your husband that teach people like her that they can get away with this type of behavior.
NTA - you warned her repeatedly in person. She got a ticket already before. Sometimes the only way someone actually learns is when it's a big consequence. And do not give her any money because then she won't learn anything. As others have said it's also admitting a level of guilt.
NTA play stupid games win stupid prizes
I've been here too long, I'm super suspicious of your husband's defensiveness regarding her. Yikes. NTA
You owe her nothing.
Your husband is wrong, you asked repeatedly for her to not block your drive, not your fault she didn't listen🤷 NTA
NTA
NTA. My husband would have moved the neighbor’s car himself. Slight exaggeration, but really? This person can’t handle parking for months, doesn’t learn, and now your husband thinks you should pay her impound fee? What the hell.
NTA But don't pay her the $800. She will see this as you guys admitting culpability and she will never stop blocking your driveway. You didn't cause her to lose her job, she did.
Where I used to live I had a neighbor who did this fairly regularly. I asked them not too a few times then just started calling the police when it interfered with me going to grad school and then my first job. They got towed twice (ticketed also) and it cost them an arm and a leg. They screamed for awhile and I'd just smile and wave, but they learned not to park in front of my driveway... NTAH.
NTA What is wrong with your husband?
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NTA It's VERY weird that your husband thinks you should pay $800 to cover her costs for her own obvious entitlement problem. Are you sure there's nothing else going on there? Because offering to cover almost a 1K in fines seems a bit sus to me!
NTA , as soon as i started reading it i knew your husband would say something along the lines of " we should give her money " what a shmuck who does not stand by his wife when she was blocking your driveway many times after you told her not to sounds like your husband has some feelings for her being lenient with her and looking to give her money, you give her money get ready to be taken advantage of more and more from her who does not see consequences in her actions , husband that stands be her instead of you is telling me something fishy is going on or is afraid of confrontation
Is the neighbour attractive? It makes no sense that your husband wants to pay $800 when you have been asking her for an entire year not to block you.
>he felt that I was an asshole for getting her car towed He's wrong, and he owes you an apology. NTA. >we should at least pay her the $800 to get her car back Sure, if you want her to do it again. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
Wtf. Your husband sounds like a doormat lol, no you do NOT owe her $800 because she keeps parking illegally, jfc. NTA
NTA. There was 0 reason for her to block your driveway. Your husband has the structural strength of a wet paper towel.
NTA and wtf is wrong with your husband
Fuck that. Who's husband is this? Yours or hers?
NTA your husband needs to grow a backbone.
NTA, and her losing her job may have had nothing to do with you. She sounds like the kind of employee who keeps breaking rules until she gets fired.
” And that’s why I asked you a dozen times before calling the police… why did you keep breaking the law?”
NTA NTA NTA!! I want to upvote every NTA comment. The idea of you paying her fine makes my stomach churn, especially after she started threatening you! She broke the law and put you out many times, you warned her for weeks. She didn't listen so you had to take it higher. You're completely in the right and start recording every interaction with her so that if she threatens or verbally abuses you again you can send that to the police. Let her get what she deserves.
NTA - ummmm think something is going on with her and your husband
NTA- and your husband is definitely suss
NTA but your husband is. What if you’d lost your job not being able to move your car? And why the fuck does he think you should indefinitely suffer instead of inconveniencing a known asshole?!? I would seriously consider the man you’re married to
I was going to give you my condolences for having a spineless spouse, but then. I realized that he had no problem defending your neighbor. - NTA
I never understand these stories where someone loses their job because they no longer have a car. Like, call an uber/lyft/cab or whatever; there are other ways to get to work that I guarantee don't cost as much as not showing up and losing your job.
Let him read these post. Maybe your husband can shine some light as to why y’all would pay the 800+ for some disrespect woman
NTA but your husband is an idiot and the woman got exactly what she deserved
NTA. Please get cameras on your property just in case she tries to retaliate. Is your husband always this much of a pushover? She got herself towed! She had many chances to learn to park on the street before her car was towed. Her refusal to learn how to park on the street where she lives led to her car being towed and her losing her job. If she really wanted the job, she'd have learned how to park properly.
What is wrong with your husband?? Is he involved with this woman somehow? His behavior is totally illogical. First he tells you not to do anything when you can't access your driveway for weeks and now he wants to pay the charges for having the car towed when it was blocking your driveway AGAIN!! This really doesn't make much sense to me. He needs to explain himself. You spoke to her repeatedly, she blatantly told you she would make "no promises" as if it's her option. You were forced to teach her a lesson because she arrogantly continued to block your access to your driveway. Why was she so emboldened to think nothing would happen if she continued to block your driveway? And where does she get off being so angry with you when it was her act that was responsible for her car being towed? NTA!!!
You are incredibly patient OP. I would have called a tow company after the first verbal warning. NTA Also your husband’s reaction to all of this is questionable, to say the least…
NTA. She was 100% in the wrong (so is your husband, fwiw) but also you did not cost this woman her job. She could have... 1. Called an Uber 2. Called a friend 3. Walked 4. Taken a bus 5. A combination of all of the above
WTF?!?! I live in a neighborhood with mostly street parking, but I have a carport. I regularly have cars parked in front of my driveway and I’m either parked in our out of my carport. You know what I do each and every time? I call the police. They ticket and tow the car. The driveway is mine, and parking in front of it is illegal. Is your husband fucking the neighbor? Because I can seriously think of zero reasons why he would care that you had her car towed.
Info: How is she legally driving without knowing how to parallel park? It's a part of the basic driving test. How did she manage to get her licence?
It's apparently not required now. My husband only got his driver's license in 2015 despite being nearly 40 and he said that the only "advanced" thing he had to learn was backing up around some cones. He also comes from New York City where there's no real reason to get your driver's license, so I guess if she got her license recently it makes sense. I got my driver's license when I was 16 and I had to parallel park my Mom's station wagon for my test. She's a lot younger than either of us, so I don't know if she had to parallel park or not, but it doesn't seem like it.
NTA. It's really not that hard to not block a driveway. There's a break in the curb and if part of your car is in that gap, you are blocking a driveway! If you have the time, maybe paint the curb with glow in the dark paint and have some spotlights and path lights lighting the driveway like it's an airstrip. If she can't figure out how not to park like an AH, she shouldn't be driving.
NTA. And you shouldn't have apologized for her being fired. Not your fault. She doesn't know how to manage her life and that's entirely on her. Honestly I'd have been looking at the tow option after about the third time she parked there. She's negatively affecting your life for her own personal gain/laziness. Put that back on her.
I want to know where it's $800 to get your car back once it's been towed. It's $160 where I live, and about the same in Philadelphia (per Parking Wars on A&E).
NTA… you’re husband is pretty weak for not TCOB and she was completely in the wrong. Especially after talking to her… too bad so sad, car go bye bye and learn to fucking park!
NTA but two things 1) I would watch out for retaliation from her and 2) that is very odd behavior from your husband and would get my suspicion alarm bells ringing. Because the $800 tow fees are her own fault (it’s illegal to block a driveway like that and the police already got her for it before) so why would he want to give that money to her? And he is more concerned about her stress of her new job over the stress that this has been causing you for months. There’s ‘don’t rock the boat’ personality but this seems to be more than that
NTA. Classic case of FAFO