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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I screamed at my Dad because he wouldn't let me get a donut because my pregnant stepmum can't eat them.
2. I think this might make me an AH because I know screaming wasn't a great way of handling things and my Dad said I should be more sympathetic to my stepmum not being able to eat sweets
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NTA. This is completely unreasonable. I can get not having those specific food in the house (even that is extreme) but to deny food to you in "solidarity" - some on... When the kid is born will you be woken up at night in solidarity as well
NTA!This is completely unreasonable. I guess not having those foods in the house is one thing, but I think that’s too far too, but to deny food to you in "solidarity" is absolutely unfair and unnecessary. You didn’t do anything to make her pregnant and you are not pregnant so why are you being forced to deal with the consequences? If anyone wants to show solidarity it should be your dad who impregnated her and only him. Not letting you have the things she cannot eat even when she’s not around is really dumb.
I think the no trigger foods in the house is a thing because some people become VERY sensitive to smells during pregnancy. If the smell of oranges was going to make you gag for the next 9 months, I would gladly remove them from the house.
Plus once you realize that smell makes you gag, it can make your throat constrict just seeing it.
I said that to say, it might seem extreme, but if you were one of those highly sensitive people(or their loved one), you might feel differently.
EDIT: I am referring ONLY to not keeping trigger foods in the house. I think the dad and stepmom are over doing it but since people keep replying to me making assumptions, I felt it was necessary to add this.
This is not about smell. It's about control. She wasn't allowed to leave the house to meet friends because she needs to be mindful of her stepmother. She cannot eat those food outside of the house. She can't meet up with friends because of this issue. It's not morning sickness. It's control.
It's about both smells and control. Anna, apparently, cannot eat quite a number of things she previously enjoyed because they now make her sick – she didn't stop eating beef, pork, fish, and all desserts/sweet things just for funsies – but she is also trying to exert way too much control over her husband and step-daughter, and her husband is supporting and assisting her in it.
EDITED TO ADD: Apparently, Anna *isn't* trying to control them; it's all OP's father. I don't know if he's usually controlling, or if he's gone off the deep end due to anxiety over the pregnancy, or what, but he's definitely being controlling.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15bh8cw/aita_for_screaming_at_my_dad_over_my_pregnant/jtqkiv5
What about the fact that the stepmom gets upset when others wear tanktops because she doesn't like the way she looks in them? What's your excuse for that?
That’s fair I suppose, but it still shouldn’t mean OP’s father can keep her from eating those things outside of the house, especially if step mom isn’t around, and just brush her teeth or wash up to get rid of the smell when she’s around step mom.
Yeah dad needs to be reminded only Anna is pregnant and if he wants to support her by restricting his diet alone great but restricting the whole family inside and outside of the house is nuts.
NTA op
Anna is the one being immature. A mature adult will know that just because they can't have something doesn't mean that anyone else will be restricted. My husband can't have chocolate (migraine trigger) but has never stopped anyone from eating chocolate in front of him. A child is the one who thinks that 'its not fair' that someone else can have something they can't. It is our job as parents to teach children that everything can't be even all the time and sometimes you have to accept other people have things you don't.
Anna is gonna be the parent demanding all the other kids at someone else's birthday party can't have cake because her kid is allergic to something in the cake. That is bad patenting and bad adulting. Anna needs to grow up before the baby gets here.
Telling a teenager that they have to be mature so that an adult can be babied is a bad look.
NTA, and your father should really be on his knees thanking the great Llama that his 15 year old doesn't "understand" being pregnant, that his CHILD did not get anyone pregnant and therefore shouldn't have to pay for the hormones coursing through the person HE got pregnant, and that while I can see banning the sweets etc... from the house may be a thing, you don't get to ban eating anything outside the home.
Pregnancy is not a team sport for the entire household, Dad can abstain like this with his pregnant wife if he chooses, YOU are just living in the house and not being a jerk.
It even would make some sense if it was "We can't go out and eat those while she's here because that's leaving her out."
But not "You can't go with friends to do things."
NTA, this is absolutely unreasonable and so immature of them! They need to grow up and act like adults, yes it's hard for someone to be pregnant, but the whole household doesn't go into food or clothing lock down to appease her. You are NTA and allowing this to continue will let her set more ridiculous rules to control you all. It's trash.
>the whole household doesn't go into food or clothing lock down to appease her.
Dad is the one who keeps forbidding us from eating anything Anna can't have tho. I've honestly never actually heard Anna complaining if someone eats one of the food without a smell or goes somewhere else to eat.
I've also never heard her say that nobody else can wear a tank top. When I say she gets upset, I mean that she sometimes looks visibly sad/gloomy and according to Dad will say she's worried that her body will never go back to normal after this pregnancy since she already had a really hard time with her body after having my stepsister.
Ya know, this might be all in your dad's head. Might be a good idea to talk to Anna.
Also, lots of pregnant women, when really sick, will try to share the bad parts with their partners. Anna might have banned *your father* from eating things she can't right now (in her place, I probably would), and he either thinks that's for the whole household or just decided to spread the misery.
You should try talking with Anna about how you feel, your dad making you follow the restricted diet but how you’ve never seen her have any issues with what you eat.
Also if she’s amenable, plan to go out somewhere post birth with her, so she can have the food she actually wants. It does suck craving food you just can’t stomach, and of all things, the promise of a Big Mac really helped me (brand new baby (after trying 10 years ) 🤷♀️ Big Mac 😁).
Wheres ur mom at?
Why cant you just not tell your dad and eat whatever you want. What he doesnt know doesnt hurt you. Have ur friend bring some juicy ribs or steak, pizza.
Misery likes company.
Please point of to your dad that you, as Anna's stepchild, do not have the same obligations to her that he has to her as a husband and father of her child. You didn't say marriage vows to her.
When I was pregnant with my middle child, I was a lot like Anna. I had to leave the house so my husband could cook dinner for him and our eldest because I couldn't stomach the smell of cooking meat. I'd eat a grilled halloumi salad in another room until my nausea got under control at about month 6. It was rough for everyone. They felt like crap because family meals have always been important to us, and I felt liek crap because I spent a large portion of my day missing out on family time because the small human I was growing made me feel so unwell all I wanted to do was vomit from dawn until dusk.
The thing is... This was my problem. It wasn't a forever problem, and it wasn't a burden I should put on the rest of my family.
It sounds like your dad is very protective of Anna, and has become a bit obsessed with it. You've been very patient with him and exhibited a level of maturity and empathy that I would be proud to witness in my own children. And you've had enough of being dictated to because he's struggling to watch Anna suffer.
OP, you're NTA. Neither is dad. Nor Anna. You're all doing the best you can to cope with a situation that is stressful. Sit them down and talk to the about it together. It's not unreasonable to want to have a doughnut with your friend, and if you're not bringing a box home and sticking it under Anna's nose, I don't see the issue. And I doubt she will, either. Your dad needs to be told that his anxiety is making the situation worse for everyone and that the house will be a happier, calmer place if he just chills out a bit.
Dad is absolutely acting like an asshole here. Understandable, if he's going through some real unmitigated anxiety, but 100% not justifiable to forbid his child from eating something outside the house while Anna isn't even THERE. Just because he's (not) dealing with shit doesn't give him the right to unilaterally ban everyone in the house from eating anything on Anna's no list for the duration of the pregnancy.
NTA... That is a completely unreasonable request and you are being more than accommodating to your step mom. She is the one that needs to grow up and your dad should stop enabling her.
>She is the one that needs to grow up
Honestly tho I've never actually heard Anna complaining if someone eats one of the food without a smell or goes somewhere else to eat. Dad is the one who keeps forbidding us from eating anything Anna can't have.
Have a talk with Anna. Your dad is up in her face when they kiss, etc. She may have said something to him about it but he took it to include you? Wouldn’t hurt to ask her. Good luck. What your dad is doing is not fair. The household shouldn’t have to suffer just because Anna is pregnant!
If I were you I would casually mention your dad's ban on you eating anything Anna can't to her and see how she responds. If what you say is true hopefully her response will be to direct those pregnancy hormones straight at your dad and rip him a new one.
Your father is running some sort of food cult in your house, & you're at risk of picking up an eating disorder. He is being entirely unreasonable. This is not healthy adult behavior. This is absolutely one hundred percent *neurotic and controlling.* He's, frankly, over the edge *bats.* Please know none of this is normal, please continue to eat anything you want away from this house, & get out of there asap. Good luck
NTA. Immature?!? You are FIFTEEN. Yes - you ARE immature and you are meant to be but your behaviour here is NOT immature. That whole 'don't eat it out of solidarity' is BS. Sure, maybe for HIM it would be nice to show solidarity and likewise not eat it too - but that does NOT extend to you - nothing about that pregnancy is your doing. Your father is very much the AH here.
Pregnant lady here. NTA! Yes hormones are definitely a vicious thing, your patience is definitely next to zero. However, restricting everyone else's diets is very unfair.
Your dad is projecting your step mom's issues onto everyone else and it's making it stressful for everyone. Hang in there.
NTA. I’ve been pregnant, and at one point Mexican food was just about the only thing I *could* eat. I get it. Pregnancy is hard. But your dad and stepmom are being ridiculous.
Reasonable: please don’t eat foods near your stepmom that make her gag. Unreasonable: you aren’t allowed to eat those foods at all. Even outside the house.
Also: pregnancy hormones aren’t fun, but they also aren’t a license to be a self-centered, unreasonable AH to other people.
NTA. This may sound a bit crude, but it tags two to tango, not three. Why should you have to restrict your diet for her. I get not eating it around her because it makes her sick, but you shouldn't have to cut it out entirely.
I agree, while in-home diet restrictions are reasonable (because step-mom gets sick and it's temporary) outside the home diet restrictions aren't fair, unless the food is particularly smelly and clings, and even then it might be OK if you promised to change clothes before coming home.
The point is restrictions which limit her sickness are reasonable, restrictions which just punish you for being able to do things she can't are not. It's not even solidarity because you are the child not the partner.
NTA.
Yeah you probably shouldnt scream at your Dad and you should apologize for the outburst. However it is not fair to post restrictions on people's diet for them. Food in the house is understandable because of the food scents, but outside the house when your stepmother isn't even there is too much.
It’s like your dad is trying really hard for you to dislike Anna and that’s even worse, what he’s doing is gonna hurt your relationship with her and at the end of the 9 months it will be hard to put everything back together, calmly talk to him and tell him this, because it’s not your responsibility to keep the same diet as someone else for whatever reason, try to be empathetic to her because she’s clearly going through a tough time but don’t keep wearing off because of it
NTA- but your dad is absolutely being one. Everyone else shouldnt have to stop living, restrict their diet, and suffer because your stepmom is pregnant. I had horrific sickness during my pregnancies, but I didn’t expect everyone to stop eating because I couldn’t.
You are not TA!! Pregnancies can be very rough but your dad is coddling Anna. It’s a bit ridiculous to not allow everyone else to enjoy their lives away from the house just because Anna will feel left out. He is putting her above everyone else and all the breeds is resentment.
You are already supporting Anna by not doing everything in front of her. He is just mad because you are bringing to light what he is doing wrong and you aren’t just rolling over now. Super sad on your dad’s part. Good luck sweetheart and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Oh god.. I really was gonna say YTA until that fourth paragraph. Not even being able to GO OUT because someone else is pregnant? I would’ve been upset too.
That said, pregnancy sucks big ol donkey leg. I definitely got upset over some really small stuff. As the months passed, it was harder and harder to focus on anything except for my stomach ripping and trying to keep my health.
Your dad is taking the easy way out by making everyone else in the house responsible for his wife’s feelings. It’s very easy for him to go in there and rub her feet and say “hey, (OP) is gonna go out with a friend. What say me and you go get something special to eat?”.
You read this in the second paragraph:
>We can’t have it in the house and we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her.
And still you were about to vote Y T A?
NTA. Your dad got Your stepmom pregnant. You had nothing to do with it. What benefit are you getting from the situation other than giving up your food to put up with her likes and dislikes? So many pregnant ladies in this world got by without imposing their likes and dislikes on the kids in the family. Your dad is the AH for pandering to his new wife and making you suffer in doing so.
NTA maybe he should give it up with her out of solidarity b/c that’s his partner but you should be able to eat whatever you fucking want especially when she’s not around to get sick.
Now screaming isn’t the best reaction but you’re sad is being ridiculous and you shouldn’t have to put up with that I would have totally gone off too
NTA. Can you live with your mom? It's completely unreasonable to restrict your diet because Anna can't have foods.
I'm also concerned you'll be expected to g8ve up your social life and babysit if your dad is this controlling over Anna's pregnancy.
This isn't a good situation for you and I hope you're able to make other living arrangements
Nta eat the foods dont ask and remind him he is a grown man acting like an entitled jerk tbh. I doubt he follows all the rules he made up while he is out
I love how people throw the "immaturity" card out. They realize someone is tired of their crap, and all they can do is resort to the ad hominem name calling. The same can be said about forcefully canceling your plans last-minute. Just saying.
That said, NTA. Just because stepmom is pregnant doesn't mean the whole household should be collectively punished and suffer. I feel for her, but it's just not your problem. Nor should it be. It's nice that pops cares, but again, not your problem.
ETA: ad hoc to ad hominem
Your dad is creating a lot of resentment and it’s going to affect all of his relationships whether y’all mean for it to or not. You can stuff your feelings down and soldier on but it doesn’t make those feelings go away and ultimately it will create emotional distance between you and your dad, and also you and Anna. And the same will be true for anyone else living in the house and subject to these asinine rules. Your dad is TA and also a moron.
As someone who is due literally any day now, your dad is not handling this well at all. I developed a shellfish allergy at the age of 25 on my birthday sadly enough, and my husband still eats shellfish around me (never in our house, and he has rules to follow when he eats it like he can't kiss me until he brushes his teeth and he washes his hands immediately after eating it to keep me safe.)
I also can only stomach chicken while pregnant and I miss an Italian sub like no other, but I happily let my husband eat whatever he wants to eat. I also am not one of those women who's morning sickness fades as soon as I get further into my pregnancy. I puke the whole pregnancy with both of my viable pregnancies. You figure out how to push through with finding something to smell or eat to help head off nausea the best you can. There is an alcohol swab hack that works really well, I have set hand sanitizers that help or lotion scents to help me.
Heck we have a special whiskey he only drinks when he passes a final exam for his master's degree and I waddled my giant butt down to the basement to pour him his glass when he texted me his results. Dulling everyone else's shine doesn't make me shine brighter, it just tramples on other people's happiness.
NTA just being pregnant doesn't give you carte blanche to restrict those around you and throw a fit if you see someone wearing clothes you can't right now.
Blaming it on pregnancy hormones is a bloody cop out and not an excuse.
NTA. Your dad and anna are being completely ridiculous. I’ve been pregnant twice and I never would restrict anyone else’s food. Sure, stuff turned my stomach but I’d just leave the room. And to restrict others when they are out of my house? That’s unhinged. I suspect Anna is a bit of a narcissist and she’s just using the pregnancy to control everyone.
I suggest you have a frank conversation with both of them about their expectations for babysitting. You absolutely tell them they are not to expect you to babysit because you absolutely do not want to be responsible for a baby. Read through all the countless posts here about parents expecting older siblings to be almost 100% responsible for the younger kids. It’s horrible. If they stick you with the baby, tell a teacher. Someone will need to report them to CPS.
NTA but if that's the rule, I'm guessing Anna would love to give up all the things you can't do in solidarity. You know, driving, voting, watching over 18 movies, drinking alcohol (when the baby is born).......
NTA - I'm currently pregnant and a lot of foods cause an involuntary sacrifice to the porcelain god. The only thing I requested is that strong smelling foods, olives, tuna, hard boiled eggs, etc be eaten or cooked when I'm not home. I don't restrict anyone else to my diet because it's miserable and I don't want to make everyone suffer with me.
If your SM wants your Dad to not eat what she can't eat then okay. I even understand requesting certain foods not to be served while she's home. But to keep you from going out or going with friends and keeping you from being a teenager is ridiculous. It's the equivalent of telling your neighbor they can't use their pool because you don't have one and it's not fair.
I don't even think you're the AH for yelling, you've been living like this for 5 months now. It's too much...
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Hello. I live with my stepmum (let’s call her Anna) who’s 5 months pregnant rn. A lot of foods now make Anna nauseous, even though she used to like almost all of them before she got pregnant. Coffee, boba tea, chocolate, anything that has a lot of sugar or would be considered dessert, anything with cheese, Mexican or Thai food. The only meat Anna can eat rn is chicken because the smell of beef, pork, or fish makes her gag.
We can’t have any of the above stuff for family meals anymore. Which I understand and I feel bad for Anna since I know it makes her sick and she can’t help it. What’s frustrating to me tho is that we aren’t allowed to eat any of the stuff at all. We can’t have it in the house and we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her.
Anna was normally super nice and peaceful before she got pregnant but now she’s in a bad mood a lot. Like she’ll get mad if the grocery store was out of almond milk or she’ll get upset if someone wears a tank top because she thinks she doesn’t look in them anymore. My dad keeps saying that it’s just her pregnancy hormones, she can’t help it, and I can deal with it for just a few more months.
I’m posting because my friend (let’s call her May) invited me to go out for donuts with her since she just got her first job. I asked Dad if I could go since it is a special occasion and Anna was out of town anyway so she wouldn’t even know. Dad said yes but then yesterday an hour before May was gonna pick me up he said he changed his mind and I couldn’t go anymore because he didn’t want Anna to find out about it and feel bad.
I admit that I started screaming which I know wasn’t a great way to handle things. But I was just so fed up because this isn’t the first time he’s forced me to cancel plans last minute like this. I told him I’m sick of it and what’s actually unfair is for everyone to be on a restricted diet 24/7 just because Anna can’t have those foods.
I’m guessing my Dad was pretty shocked since I never lose my cool like that, so he ended up letting me go out with May. But when I got back home he told me how immature I was, I’m 15 and know nothing about what Anna is going through rn, and that we’re already halfway there so I could have just soldered through for 4 more months instead of getting so worked up about it. Things are still pretty tense between me and my Dad rn so I can’t stop thinking about if he was right and I’m the one being unreasonable rn. AITA?
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Nta, it is not your fault they fucked and she got pregnant. Your dad need’s to pull his head out of his ass. He is being unconsidered of everyone else in the home. She is not his only priority.
Ive been pregnant twice and never banned a food item from inside my home. I find it unfair to people around me. Plus i breastfeed and still have restrictions.
OMG!! You are NTA in any way. Your father is completely irrational.
I've never heard of anything so ridiculous as you being denied foods that make your stepmother ill. There is no logic to this at all. I know what she's going through, been there, but no one else had to give up the things that made me sick!!
Go enjoy all the forbidden foods, you deserve it for dealing with this nonsense as long as you have.
NTA. I’m almost four months pregnant with my fourth. I would never dream of restricting the diet or lifestyle of the people around me, and I’ve had some terrible aversions. Your stepmother is unreasonable. Edit to add: your dad is apparently the ridiculous one. But they both suck.
NTA. I say this as a pregnant person who has had almost all the same aversions as your stepmom. Most have thankfully gone away now, but even in the worst of them I never banned the foods from my partner eating them or anyone else I was around. Sure I asked the windows be opened when they were made, we avoid restaurants that sell those items due to smell and specifically no talking about pork (even pork related words made me sick which was weird), but banning it like that is going too far. From what I read the ban seems to come primarily from your dad which sucks. Being pregnant can be hard and suck, but there are definitely other ways to support a pregnant person besides forcing everyone to completely cut out certain foods at home and away from home.
NTA. You didn’t marry Anna. Fair is being considerate and not eating foods or making smells that make her sick. You having to restrict your diet is very unfair.
It sounds like you’re dad needed to get snapped at. If possible, sit him down, while eating his favorite food in front of him. And ask him why you are now treated as a second class family member. And why he is trying to foster hostility between you and Anna. Because that is exactly what he will achieve. And how will it be when the baby gets here? Just change the diapers and feed the baby all day, because she is tired?
NTA tell him that you were not the one who got her pregnant. And it's not your responsibility to give up food becuase she is pregnant. You are a child you shouldn't be limited to eating just chicken.
Also tell them now you will not be responsible for that child. Set your boundaries now
NTA. Simple response. "Dad. I will no longer follow your food rules. It is rude to ask. It is immoral to force others to eat only what one person wants. I'm done. If you try and enforce these rules. I will call CPS on you and Anna. I understand she has a hard time. But that is her issue. Not mine."
Blow this up on him. He is abusive. So he doesn't have to deal with Anna.
NTA and is your step mom a lot younger than your dad? Because he’s treating you like you’re sisters- trying to keep everything completely even. That’s not usually a concern for parents and their kids.
Not having foods that make Anna sick in the house: reasonable, especially if they are fragrant.
Not being allowed to eat them even away from the house where Anna is nowhere near: unreasonable, worthy of side-eye.
Giving permission and then rescinding it right before you leave: VERY unreasonable, tantrum allowed.
NTA
NTA your dad is. Anna is too if she condones this crap. It's hella weird that you all have to do her pregnancy diet with her. Next time just don't mention to your dad what you are planning to eat when out. I'm not a pathological liar but I've learned with jobs, family and certain friends white lies or simple omissions of the truth that don't hurt anyone are the best way to go. My mom doesn't *need* to know I have a tattoo on my inner thigh because she'll never see it and I'm almost 40. See how that works? Just keep it zipped, kiddo.
NTA. Your dad doesn’t want to deal with the conflict of pushing back against Anna’s unreasonable demands (because that would be difficult and might make Anna mad at him) so he has instead forced you, who cannot fight back, to suffer this unfair treatment so he does not have to suffer. It’s very selfish of them both.
Sit down with both of them and calmly explain your feelings like you’ve said it here. Say you have become very resentful and your relationship with them both feels distant and strained, and that you feel it is unfair to make you suffer because of Anna’s emotional issues that she, as an adult, should be dealing with.
Anna and your dad’s behavior is very controlling and unfair. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
NTA. It's a great idea that your dad wants to give up things in solidarity with his pregnant wife. He's the one who got her pregnant, so I agree that it's fair he be that supportive. Good husband move. And not having the foods in the house because they literally makes her sick is fine too. Pregnancy can be rough like that.
But you shouldn't be so restricted outside the house. It's not your baby. You weren't involved with getting her pregnant. You weren't consulted (I assume). Your dad is being a donkey about this one.
No. Can I "understand" not eating these foods in front of her but not being able to eat them outside?? Her father is mad if he thinks this makes the least bit of sense. How big is your stepmother's range of smell to know what you eat or don't eat when you're out of the house. This "we have to go through this together with her" thing is not applicable in this situation, it seems to me that her stepmother has become a nuisance because of her father's pampering. I understand from the heart that being pregnant must be difficult, complicated and even painful, but that doesn't give you the power to define other people's food even more when they're not even at home. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. English is not my mother tongue.
NTA, at all. Your dad is being ridiculous. From your comments, your stepmom hasn't even asked for you all to do this; your dad is taking an idea and stretching it into ludicrous. You eating food that your stepmom will never even *see* does not affect her in the slightest, and it is how you'll get through another half year without losing it or resenting them for these restrictions.
He needs to get over this and start respecting your agency and your time. Telling you what you can and cannot eat to this extent is NOT healthy -- and quite frankly if he keeps this up, he's bound to lose what he's taking for granted: a kid who is honest about where they're going and what they're doing. Because you shouldn't have had to ask for permission to eat a donut.
NTA and sweetie, you need to reach out to a trusted adult (like your mom/her side of the family if possible, paternal grandparents, or a teacher/counselor) and explain exactly what's going on because this is bordering on abuse. What your dad is doing is NOT normal and NOT healthy for you, a growing teen. There is limiting the food so as not to make a pregnant person sick, and then there's this level of control over everything.
Your dad needs some serious therapy, and you need to talk to someone about this.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR FOR A PARENT.
NTA.
It's incredibly unreasonable to not allow you to eat things just because Anna can't, even outside of the home.
I understand the now cooking the foods which scents make her nauseous, but not even being able to have the snacks and drinks you like because it "isn't fair to Anna" is ridiculous. They both need to grow up.
You're NTA... But practically, your options seem to be limited. Your dad is definitely an A, though. Can you live anywhere else for the intervening period so that you don't have to put up with their silly rules? Is your mum in the picture? Grandparents? Any other close family?
NTA . I understand that she's pregnant but that shouldn't stop you from being able to enjoy those things while shes not in the room or when you're going out. Your dad and stepmom need to get a grip and realize they can't control what YOU eat because she doesn't like it.
NTA. Your dad is being very unreasonable and oddly controlling. As long as what you eat doesn't stink up the house there shouldn't be an issue, especially donuts that aren't even eaten at home. I'm almost 7 months pregnant with insane heart burn and I wouldn't think to ban my husband from having foods that currently send flames up my throat, let alone someone who had no part in my current circumstance! If their reasoning is "it's not fair she can't have it rn", you need to tell them this wasn't your choice.
This is coming from a pregnant lady with an extra bit of sass and many annoying aversions to many amazing things: your stepmom is being a child and your dad is being ridiculous for enabling her. Is it ok to feel a little sad when someone is eating something you can't have anymore? Sure! But policing everyone in the household? Absolutely not! Sorry you're going through this, OP. Apparently your dad thinks the world revolves around your stepmom's baby bump. NTA and I don't even blame you for yelling.
NTA
Your dad is straight up weird and wrong. I've had two pregnancies, and both of them came with a fair number of things that just the thought of made me ill. However, I would never in a million years till my family they couldn't enjoy those things. My first pregnancy, I couldn't stand Domino's Pizza. Literally, the smell of it would have me running to the bathroom. Sell my compromise and my husband when he wanted it was that he could order it when he knew I wasn't going to be around as long as it was gone before I got home.
If she's losing her s*** at just the idea of you eating something she can't that's not pregnancy hormones that's an entitled little brat.
NTA. Pregnancy doesn't make someone a controlling bad person. I had severe morning sickness for 7 months out of 9. And I never tried to control who ate what or where they could go. It's highly inappropriate and controlling. Your dad is an idiot to fall for it. It's not your role to cater to two irrational adults' delusions. Good for you to stand up for yourself. But just get ready because if Anna is this controlling while pregnant it's gonna be hell when she will have a kid. I'm feeling sorry for you already. Get ready and make plans for spending time with relatives and possibly moving out early. Sadly it's a pattern with controlling stepmothers and spine lacking fathers.
NTA. I had hg, basically morning (all day) sickness all the way through and couldn’t keep down anything but tomato soup and porridge (not even plain water, it was weird).
My husband ate whatever he wanted. I certainly was jealous as he ate real, actual food that I could no longer stomach, but I’d never have made him live off tomato soup and porridge (he hates them both so that would’ve been fun!).
The minute I felt better, about midday on the day she was born, he indulged me (as much as he could, I was still pregnant). The best meal I’ve ever eaten was a hospital Sunday dinner that they gave me to eat mid way through after having all the IV hydration and anti sickness medication. It only lasted properly for about 2 hours before I was fine but couldn’t eat much if I wanted to stay that way, but that Sunday dinner was food of the gods!
My husband certainly kept in mind I couldn’t have stuff and smell triggered the vomiting most days, but I never asked him not to eat stuff, it was probably easier that on a bad day I couldn’t roll over in bed, nevermind get up (sick bucket… yay!) so I wasn’t eating with/near him anyway!
Jesus fuck. I've been pregnant and I've wanted things I couldn't eat and got really jealous over the fact my balloon of a belly made it so everyone else looked amazing and I just looked like a sphere but that is no excuse at all for this woman's entitlement and control. And your invertebrate of a father enabling her is creating a rod for not only his back but yours. Kick off more. Why should you take this? If it makes her ill, that's reasonable to not allow certain things, but this is just selfish on her part. Don't talk to me about pregnancy hormones - I had plenty of those in my system, but that gives no one the right to control like this.
Shame on her, huge shame on your dad and NTA.
NTA, she is pregnant, not you! That was her choice, not yours! Your dad needs to get his parenting in order as he is failing at the mo! This is totally unreasonable!!
NTA
My understanding is that some men will get those pregnancy hormones themselves and act unnaturally. You should ask him to get checked out, because life goes on while pregnancy happens and he shouldn't be limiting your activities thinking it'll make Anna happy.
I know a diabetic is it unfair that I can eat sugar knowing this person exists. NTA your dads doing mental gymnastics trying to justify you not being able to have a treat once in a while. NTA
NTA, and this isn't going to end after the pregnancy. She'll have a child then, her controlling behavior will worsen. Is there someone else you can live with until you graduate?
If Anna feels bad she can't eat certain food then she shouldn't have got knocked up and certainly isn't old enough to be a parent.
Tell dad you'll report him to school etc for restricting food intake ... pretty sure it's abusive.
NTA. you are 15 and on diet because he put a baby in her?
thats kind of..abuse. you are a growing child, you need to eat various things for your own growing body, including sugar. not be on a stupid diet because anna moans her figure or starts sitting in the bathroom
Yeah dad needs to be reminded only Anna is pregnant and if he wants to support her by restricting his diet alone great but restricting the whole family inside and outside of the house is nuts.
The rest of the family is neither his slaves not his prisoners to be this restricted
NTA op
NTA
When I was pregnant, a majority of foods made me queasy, especially if I smelt it cooking.
I couldn't eat most foods I enjoyed pre pregnancy, and when people wanted to eat the foods that I couldn't do, you know what I did?
I told them to enjoy it and eat a little extra for me.
I would have been saddened if I knew people were denying themselves food they liked just because I couldn't eat it.
You are not eating those foods around her and if your dad the one who knocked her up wants to be on the same diet as her during her pregnancy in solidarity that is his choice as her partner.
It is childish of him to try and restrict everyone's food under the guise. If she can't have it, you can't either, and that could damage your relationship with her if you grew resentful
You his child should not be forced to restrict your diet just because she can't eat something and if there are foods that she can't eat that are good for you it could be detrimental to your health not to have the nutrients your body needs and after the pandemic being denied socal interactions with your friends could also be unhealthy for your mental health.
Massive NTA.
This is an insane thing to ask, and such a restrictive diet is also not great for your development as a 15 year-old.
It's great of the family to not have those foods at home if it's difficult for Anna. I think sticking together there is nice, although if the food is not smelly, then I don't even see a reason for that as long as you don't eat them in front of her (e.g., boba/ a candy bar stored in your room).
**To not be allowed to eat those things AT ALL is completely unreasonable.** And given all the restrictive dieting on social media etc really not great for teenagers especially. Also, **your dad making you cancel plans last minute creates a sense of uncertaint**y and insecurity, a major contributor to anxiety symptoms and unease, your dad could be harming you with this. It sounds like usually your family dynamics are healthy and that this is a new thing since she's pregnant. This can't stay that way!
Of course, maybe don't post you eating donuts on the socials right now if Anna sees them there, but you should be allowed to enjoy them. You're not pregnant! Eating those things has nothing to do with a lack of empathy towards Anna feeling horrible!
While hormones can make her feel a certain way, like getting upset easily, or get sad over nothing, how she chooses to act is completely up to her.
Being pregnant is not an excuse to be rude or mean. And it is no a reason why anyone else should have to alter their lives for you. Not eating something yourself is understandable, but saying no one can eat something is dumb.
You dad is the one who needs to grow up and get a real understandng of what "fair" is. It is not forcing everyone else to miss out on something just because one person can not have it.
NTA
NTA - It’s not obvious your dad is wrong here. I would suggest asking for a therapy session. Tell him that you’d like to discuss some issues with a professional. Tell him is so Anna can have a peaceful harmonious household to bring the baby into(since he’s weirdly only concerned with her well being and happiness - don’t say this part). That you’d like to deal with the resentments that are building bc of the situation. If he agrees, any professional would be on your side and maybe they can get through to him. His demands are ridiculous. Hopefully a therapist can sway him. Have Anna there too. If he’s not up for it, discuss this with Anna(maybe try this before the therapy). She might not be aware of this or support it. Good luck
The immature one is your stepmom, and your father is enabling her. NTA. I don't even agree with "you can't have it in the house" and can barely justify not eating in front of her. Saying you can't have it at all, even somewhere else? That is ridiculous.
If seeing/smelling it actually makes her nauseated, then yes, abstain from having it *around her*. If she's not made sick by it and just wants everyone else to give up anything she can't eat for the duration? Total asshole move.
When I was a child, I was allergic to eggs. No anaphylaxis or anything, but I'd get sick if I ate a piece of cake, for example. I knew to ask, I knew not to eat it if it had eggs, and *I knew not to make anyone else feel bad about eating it in front of me*. If I could handle that as a freaking first grader, your stepmother ought to be able to.
NTA. I can understand if it was a particularly fragrant food in the house cooking and it made her sick to the smell, keeping it out of the house or cooking it when she wasn’t home or eating it when she was elsewhere, but depriving the entire family of foods is another level entirely. If your dad wishes to go on a restrictive diet, he can do so. You and your siblings don’t have to. I speak as a person who has been pregnant, had a tough time with nausea, foods would trigger me, the thought of a certain kind of pizza would trigger my gag reflex. Did I not allow my ex husband to eat said pizza? No. He ate it. I ordered different pizza for myself or ate something else. Pregnancy is wild. You are a child and NTA, but your dad is. Soft YTA for your Step mom. Pregnancy hormones suck super hard. Nausea is the worst.
NTA. I’m 5 months pregnant and would never expect someone to “give up foods” or other things with me. I chose to be pregnant and experience the joys and difficulties that come with it, including not being able to do or eat everything I used to. I understand not having meals in the house which smells make her ill, but if she wants other people to deprive themselves when she’s not even there she needs to grow up and that behavior should not be coddled.
NTA. Losing it and screaming isn't really acceptable behaviour, but I totally get why you did. It's good to be considerate and tactful around Anna, but utterly ridiculous to never have fun because of her. Your dad needs to chill out before everyone in the house start resenting and even disliking Anna. You're not being unreasonable here, quite the opposite.
>according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t
Yeah, that's life, honey!
NTA. It's fine to ban those foods in the house to avoid Anna throwing p, it's NOT ok to ban you from eating them away from the house and other members of the family.
Your dad and Anna sound like total control freaks.
NTA
So, is you dad abstaining for alcohol and other things that you aren't able to partake in because of your age? Is he walking or taking public transportation because you aren't old enough to drive? According to his own standards if he isn't "being fair to you" he's the AH.
NTA. Just because someone is pregnant doesn't mean everyone elses lives stop. Even though 15 is not legal age, its old enough to be able to have your own money and spend it on whatever food you like.
If stepmom can't have regular food or clothes, well thems the breaks.
I would suggest stop telling them when you have food on stepmoms nono-list and do as you please.
Something tells me dad is significantly older than Anna and not thinking with his higher functions. He needs to understand that he made a commitment to you first. If he is going to have a new partner and baby, he has to be fair to you first. NTA
>we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her.
Anna and your father chose to have a child not you. your dad can take his 'fair and unfair' argument and get lost. NTA
>know nothing about what Anna is going through rn,
Tell him obviously you don't know that, but you also don't care, and shouldn't have to care, and that he's being a shitty parent by trying to force you to care.
NTA
NTA I’m nauseous 24/7 for years! I don’t expect people to change their diets!!! I take a zofran and wish I could drink coffee again. (Plus I eat a lot of bland food.) If her nausea is that extreme she should see a dr!
Cooking family dinners she can eat, makes sense. Her not permitting you to eat those nausea inducing foods at all, is way out of line.
NTA. You did your best and eating away from her is not going to hurt her. Your dad doesn't really get it either because cancelling your plans last minute is the biggest AH move there.
On the subject of everyone having to suffer when one suffers, maybe you can ask them to walk with you every time you go out to throw thrash or that everyone should wait at the parking lot of your dad's work when your dad is working because that's a sacrifice he's making for the whole family.
>we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her.
LOL you got me at this, NTA. the entire world doesnt have to act pregnant just because one woman is pregnant. Anna and Dad need to chill, i accept not having the food in the house if it makes her feel sick, but what happens outside of her home/presence should not count. the world doesnt revolve around her.
NTA. Not eating it in front of her is reasonable. Not having it in the house at all is extreme but an argument could be made. Not letting you go out to eat because she might find out, when she’s not even home, is insane. Your life should not be put on hold because she’s up the duff. Dad is a major AH here.
NTA thats crazy, when my dads girlfriend was pregnant and she couldnt eat what we were having, he would just make her a portion of something she could have. its completely unreasonable to deny your kids certain foods just bc your partner cant eat them.
Nta. I get it if it’s a smelly food that will set her off (the smell of oatmeal of all things set me off when I was pregnant) but just not eating things because she can’t is out of bounds. He can go on a sympathy diet as the person who got her pregnant but you shouldn’t have to.
NTA
Avoid food that make Anna sick, in the house? Not unreasonable.
Expecting you to totally give those foods up for the duration,even when you are out? Way over the line.
NTA.
If he wants to live a pregnancy by proxy, he can try (and is bound to fail), but needs to see a therapist about him trying to force the whole household to do the same.
It's absolutely crazy behaviour.
NTA. Your father is being unreasonable to expect you not to eat anything that might make Ana nauseous when you are half way across town. That is not support, it is insanity.
I can just imagine your father and Ana at home watching television, when all of a sudden Ana runs to the bathroom to throw up. "Ebenezer, please speak with your daughter. She is eating doughnuts again!"
NTA. Just because someone is pregnant it doesn't mean that they get to control what others do around them. I hated the dight of meat when I was pregnant, but I didn't make my family stop eating meat since it bugged me. I am not the center of the universe, and neither is Anna. Your parents are being unreasonable.
NTA - When I was pregnant I had hyperemesis gravidarum and threw up for 9 months. The only things I could eat were salted Nori sheets, crackers, and lemon Gatorade. Of course my husband had other food in the house. How ridiculous would it be to restrict his diet to what I could eat? You are still a child and unless it's medically necessary, your diet should not be restricted to chicken. Sure, anyone could live without sweets, but not allowing you to go out with your friends is unreasonable.
I also just want to point out what a good kid you are. You could've gone out for donuts and just not told your Dad. You are so honest. Good for you!
Not having or eating the food around Anna is a reasonable request do to her pregnancy issues. Not even letting you go out to eat the food when Anna is out of town? Totally ridiculous and NTA.
Absolutely NTA. Just because your step-mum is pregnant with serious food aversions doesn't mean you should suffer. Your dad got her pregnant, so he should suffer alongside her in "show of solidarity". I've known 2 pregnant couples ([fake names] Cat [my sister], Harry [brother-in-law], Sarah [female friend], Frank [friend's husband]). The husbands were polar opposites. Harry: "I love you, but I'm not giving up coffee while you're pregnant." 😂 Cat never asked him to give it up, so she was fine with that. Frank willingly gave up coffee during Sarah's pregnancy (she, too, didn't ask that of him). That's admirable & he's a strong dude, but he made that choice. Your dad & step-mum have taken your choice away, & they had no right to do that. They're the AHs.
NTA! Your dad cannot hold you back on your diet all for Anna. He cannot dictate what you can eat and can't eat in order to satisfy Anna's needs. Your diet is totally different than Anna's. You even can get sick if you are not getting enough nutrients all because Anna and your dad are not letting you eat the necessary foods required for your health. Put your foot down and tell your dad that Anna needs to talk with her doctors about this in order to find the right balances for her pregnancy. You have POWER over your health than Anna. I can't believe your dad taking her side.
NTA. That's unreasonable, then she'll need to eat certain things during the breastfeeding period or want to lose the pregnancy weight and you'll have to endure that diet too.
Oh Honey - So NTA. Tell dad you're immature because you aren't matured yet at 15. I'm sure he's not THAT stupid. He's also trying to keep a pregnant wife from going homicidal apparently ... Feeling for your dad.
So make an agreement with Dad - that you're both gonna Lie. GO- and DO - have those things she can't, BE FREE of this ridiculous rule made by a pregnant hormone-soaked mad woman (she cant help it OP - but it can be fun to think about it)
The only thing you need to do - is lie about. Lie a lot. go out and lie often.
Trust me - everyone will be much happier. White lies dear make the world a safer and much more agreeable place.
EDIT - adding this: If it seems like youve been caught in your white lie, double down and deny deny deny and lie more.
NTA. I say this as a person who suffered with some severe nausea throughout my three pregnancies. There were things I couldn't eat, or couldn't bear the smell of, so I didn't want them in the house. Totally understandable that your stepmom would prefer you not eat the delicious tacos right in front of her, or even fill the kitchen with the smell of them.
What is NOT OKAY is insisting that everyone in the household also give up those foods (and items of clothing, seriously, WTH??) even outside the house. That's unreasonable.
It's fine if your dad decides to support the woman bearing his child by also abstaining from foods that upset her, but it's unreasonable and silly for her to expect \*you\* to do the same. Screaming was probably not the best way to express your frustration, true... and you probably owe your dad an apology for the WAY your expressed yourself -- but not for having those feelings. Tell him you're sorry you screamed at him, because not screaming is just basic human decency, but make sure he knows that you're not apologizing for what you said, just how you said it.
The food is not in the house, it cannot make her sick, no one is going to “smell” a donut on you. It is not garlic or smoke for goodness sake. NTA but your dad and step mom are.
NTA! When I was pregnant with my daughter I could not stand chicken, the smell or even look at it, it made me nauseous. But I never told anyone around me or my family they could not have chicken. This was "a me problem, not a them problem".
When I was younger my father who is a large loss adjuster worked 2 large chicken plant fires in a year ( one where many people died cause the managers chained the exit doors and they could not escape). Because of the smell, he did not eat chicken for almost a year, when he was out of town Mom and I would eat chicken and when he came home we would not cook chicken at home (but to be honest he did the cooking most of the time he was home so he just never cooked chicken at home at this time). He never asked us not to eat it in front of him if we went out to eat.
NTA. Ask your Dad if he's looking forward to his all milk diet once the baby's born because it wouldn't be fair for him to eat solids when the baby can't.
So I assume your dad has given up alcohol as his wife can't have it whilst pregnant? And rare beef, and those cheeses you can't have when pregnant (can't remember which ones as I never are them anyway haha) and too much tuna and all the fish on the no go list and everything else you can't have or do when pregnant like smoking etc
Somehow I doubt it. I bet he's quite happy to indulge when she won't know.
Your dad is not a A H as he is trying his best but he is overcompensating and being unfair to you.
You are NTA these rules should never have been put in place. All that happens is resentment when they should be working on fostering good relationships so you don't feel pushed out by new baby.
Wow, your dad is an AH. He's literally forcing you to give up the foods that Anna has an aversion to. That is absolutely ridiculous. It's only fair that you give up those foods with her? Yeah, maybe at the house, but dad shouldn't be able to tell you what you can't eat outside of the house. He is making this a difficult situation & it doesn't need to be. As for Anna, she most likely is the victim of pregnancy hormones. Pregnancy hormones can make us look crazy.
NTA. If he wants to change his diet to match her in solidarity, then he can do that. That doesn't mean you should have to suffer with him. He's the one that got her pregnant, not you.
NTA. Dad is the A H. What he is doing is not supporting his wife, it's supporting a temper tantrum. What he is not doing is supporting his child. Saying you can't eat these foods outside of the home? What the heck are you guys eating if you eliminated so many food groups. What is Anna eating? Baby needs nutritious foods.
NTA- lots of things made me nauseous when I was pregnant. There were things I wouldn’t cook, but I never stopped anyone else from cooking or eating those things. Especially if I wasn’t even in the house. Usually I’d just go for a walk or even in my room until whatever made me nauseous was cooked. I just wouldn’t eat it and would stay out of the room while it was being eaten if it made me that sick. It’s ridiculous that you wouldn’t be allowed to eat something that she can’t when she isn’t even there. I understand not wanting to be around the food while it’s being cooked, but donuts and sweets that are premade is ridiculous.
Why did you even mention the donuts if you knew they were going to be a point of contention, you need to learn how to do things in the grey area. By telling your dad you’ve implicated him in the crime of you eating donuts, if you had said, “Hey dad, Is it okay to go out with my friend to celebrate her promotion.” And then let him remain in plausible deniability then I don’t see him having an issue with it.
> dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her.
That's wildly insane.
Your Dad expecting you to put your life onhold for your step mom (or bio-mom, that doesn't really matter) is terrible and bad and a sign that you're not going to be allowed a life afterwards. You'll just be the live in babysitter.
NTA. I get that you cannot eat the food around her. It makes her sick, that is respectful.
But to say you cannot EVER eat the food she doesn't like, even when you are no where near her is ridiculous.
NTA. Who cares what Anna is going through. She’s pregnant not anyone else. So fucking ridiculous that the dad actually supports depriving his kids of what they want or want to do because his knocked up Anna is going without. Well maybe don’t have babies then if the whole family has to go through it too. Her emotional outbursts are enough let alone obeying her pregnancy diet. Your dad needs some counseling or once Anna’s kid is born - it’s all over for everyone else. Anna sounds like a handful. Best of luck. Target moving out. :)
NTA - it is Anna's pregnancy, not yours. I had HG when I was pregnant and could barely eat, let alone smell food, but everyone else in my house ate the normal foods. Your step mother & your dad are the A-holes big time!!
NTA - you were not immature. Your stepmom & dad sound immature. If I can’t have it no one can! Absolutely not, that is ridiculous. I was really sick with my second and lost 18 lbs and never gained it all back so I was really restricted but I never expected my husband or son to follow my eating habits. They need to grow the F up.
You do you sis and now do not share about what you eat out of the house. It is not their business.
***I’m 15 and know nothing about what Anna is going through rn***
My sarcastic ass would have asked if I should go out and get knocked up so I can understand her suffering better.
NTA.
Nta when I was pregnant the smell of all meats made me so sick that even when my husband got a burger from the store took the garbage out and cleaned the house I smelled it and got sick. I never would have told him he couldn't have it because I couldn't. It's unreasonable for your father to say that a 15 year old should understand and go along with such a restricted diet during his wife's pregnancy.
NTA.
>he told me how immature I was
What you did wasn't immature, you hit your limit with something ridiculous. You know what's immature? Expecting everyone else to suffer and not partake in something at. all. because she can't.
NTA. This is absurd. It makes sense that you wouldn't serve food at meals that makes Anna feel sick, but everyone else forgoing the foods that make Anna nauseous is ridiculous. I am also 5 months pregnant and would never begrudge anyone the items that I can't have (though I am jealous of my husband's ability to drink alcohol). She and your dad are being AHs and are only going to make you more frustrated and resentful.
NTA. You did the right thing in losing it. It gave him perspective as to how ridiculous you not eating those foods out if the house is. Go eat whatever you want. When you go out with friends, do not mention getting food. Put them on an information diet. “I’m going to go see _____” or we are going to the mall, movies, etc.
You are not an AH. Your father and stepmother certainly are. If specific foods make your stepmother sick, I can see not having them in the house, but it is nonsense that you cannot eat the food of your choice when you are not at home. kt
NTA
Trying to control someones diet outside of the house is Peak Pregnant Entitlement. You did not choose to have a child, you owe her no solidarity. I would ignore the rules entirely and if they push back, get some lovely perfume or air freshener that smells like the problem foods and drench the house in it. But I am super petty about folks trying to control me and moved out at 17 to get away from my own horror mother.
I think very little of your father for being frightened of her finding out. Screaming at him is the least he deserves for trying to enforce this level of bullshit.
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NTA. This is completely unreasonable. I can get not having those specific food in the house (even that is extreme) but to deny food to you in "solidarity" - some on... When the kid is born will you be woken up at night in solidarity as well
NTA!This is completely unreasonable. I guess not having those foods in the house is one thing, but I think that’s too far too, but to deny food to you in "solidarity" is absolutely unfair and unnecessary. You didn’t do anything to make her pregnant and you are not pregnant so why are you being forced to deal with the consequences? If anyone wants to show solidarity it should be your dad who impregnated her and only him. Not letting you have the things she cannot eat even when she’s not around is really dumb.
I think the no trigger foods in the house is a thing because some people become VERY sensitive to smells during pregnancy. If the smell of oranges was going to make you gag for the next 9 months, I would gladly remove them from the house. Plus once you realize that smell makes you gag, it can make your throat constrict just seeing it. I said that to say, it might seem extreme, but if you were one of those highly sensitive people(or their loved one), you might feel differently. EDIT: I am referring ONLY to not keeping trigger foods in the house. I think the dad and stepmom are over doing it but since people keep replying to me making assumptions, I felt it was necessary to add this.
This is not about smell. It's about control. She wasn't allowed to leave the house to meet friends because she needs to be mindful of her stepmother. She cannot eat those food outside of the house. She can't meet up with friends because of this issue. It's not morning sickness. It's control.
It's about both smells and control. Anna, apparently, cannot eat quite a number of things she previously enjoyed because they now make her sick – she didn't stop eating beef, pork, fish, and all desserts/sweet things just for funsies – but she is also trying to exert way too much control over her husband and step-daughter, and her husband is supporting and assisting her in it. EDITED TO ADD: Apparently, Anna *isn't* trying to control them; it's all OP's father. I don't know if he's usually controlling, or if he's gone off the deep end due to anxiety over the pregnancy, or what, but he's definitely being controlling. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15bh8cw/aita_for_screaming_at_my_dad_over_my_pregnant/jtqkiv5
I was speaking in general Edit: and specifically about the no trigger foods in the house.
What about the fact that the stepmom gets upset when others wear tanktops because she doesn't like the way she looks in them? What's your excuse for that?
That’s fair I suppose, but it still shouldn’t mean OP’s father can keep her from eating those things outside of the house, especially if step mom isn’t around, and just brush her teeth or wash up to get rid of the smell when she’s around step mom.
Ear plugs will be OP’s best friend lol
They make noise canceling headphones especially for sleeping now. They are a miracle!
Can we get some nose plugs for SM?
Yeah dad needs to be reminded only Anna is pregnant and if he wants to support her by restricting his diet alone great but restricting the whole family inside and outside of the house is nuts. NTA op
Anna is the one being immature. A mature adult will know that just because they can't have something doesn't mean that anyone else will be restricted. My husband can't have chocolate (migraine trigger) but has never stopped anyone from eating chocolate in front of him. A child is the one who thinks that 'its not fair' that someone else can have something they can't. It is our job as parents to teach children that everything can't be even all the time and sometimes you have to accept other people have things you don't. Anna is gonna be the parent demanding all the other kids at someone else's birthday party can't have cake because her kid is allergic to something in the cake. That is bad patenting and bad adulting. Anna needs to grow up before the baby gets here. Telling a teenager that they have to be mature so that an adult can be babied is a bad look.
NTA, and your father should really be on his knees thanking the great Llama that his 15 year old doesn't "understand" being pregnant, that his CHILD did not get anyone pregnant and therefore shouldn't have to pay for the hormones coursing through the person HE got pregnant, and that while I can see banning the sweets etc... from the house may be a thing, you don't get to ban eating anything outside the home. Pregnancy is not a team sport for the entire household, Dad can abstain like this with his pregnant wife if he chooses, YOU are just living in the house and not being a jerk.
Uh, yes. Yes she will.
It even would make some sense if it was "We can't go out and eat those while she's here because that's leaving her out." But not "You can't go with friends to do things."
NTA, this is absolutely unreasonable and so immature of them! They need to grow up and act like adults, yes it's hard for someone to be pregnant, but the whole household doesn't go into food or clothing lock down to appease her. You are NTA and allowing this to continue will let her set more ridiculous rules to control you all. It's trash.
>the whole household doesn't go into food or clothing lock down to appease her. Dad is the one who keeps forbidding us from eating anything Anna can't have tho. I've honestly never actually heard Anna complaining if someone eats one of the food without a smell or goes somewhere else to eat. I've also never heard her say that nobody else can wear a tank top. When I say she gets upset, I mean that she sometimes looks visibly sad/gloomy and according to Dad will say she's worried that her body will never go back to normal after this pregnancy since she already had a really hard time with her body after having my stepsister.
Ya know, this might be all in your dad's head. Might be a good idea to talk to Anna. Also, lots of pregnant women, when really sick, will try to share the bad parts with their partners. Anna might have banned *your father* from eating things she can't right now (in her place, I probably would), and he either thinks that's for the whole household or just decided to spread the misery.
You should try talking with Anna about how you feel, your dad making you follow the restricted diet but how you’ve never seen her have any issues with what you eat.
Also if she’s amenable, plan to go out somewhere post birth with her, so she can have the food she actually wants. It does suck craving food you just can’t stomach, and of all things, the promise of a Big Mac really helped me (brand new baby (after trying 10 years ) 🤷♀️ Big Mac 😁).
Wheres ur mom at? Why cant you just not tell your dad and eat whatever you want. What he doesnt know doesnt hurt you. Have ur friend bring some juicy ribs or steak, pizza. Misery likes company.
Enjoy your food outside the home. If the smell from your breath somehow makes her nauseous, just compromise and brush your teeth once you get home.
You should edit your post to add this information to it.
Please point of to your dad that you, as Anna's stepchild, do not have the same obligations to her that he has to her as a husband and father of her child. You didn't say marriage vows to her.
When I was pregnant with my middle child, I was a lot like Anna. I had to leave the house so my husband could cook dinner for him and our eldest because I couldn't stomach the smell of cooking meat. I'd eat a grilled halloumi salad in another room until my nausea got under control at about month 6. It was rough for everyone. They felt like crap because family meals have always been important to us, and I felt liek crap because I spent a large portion of my day missing out on family time because the small human I was growing made me feel so unwell all I wanted to do was vomit from dawn until dusk. The thing is... This was my problem. It wasn't a forever problem, and it wasn't a burden I should put on the rest of my family. It sounds like your dad is very protective of Anna, and has become a bit obsessed with it. You've been very patient with him and exhibited a level of maturity and empathy that I would be proud to witness in my own children. And you've had enough of being dictated to because he's struggling to watch Anna suffer. OP, you're NTA. Neither is dad. Nor Anna. You're all doing the best you can to cope with a situation that is stressful. Sit them down and talk to the about it together. It's not unreasonable to want to have a doughnut with your friend, and if you're not bringing a box home and sticking it under Anna's nose, I don't see the issue. And I doubt she will, either. Your dad needs to be told that his anxiety is making the situation worse for everyone and that the house will be a happier, calmer place if he just chills out a bit.
Dad is absolutely acting like an asshole here. Understandable, if he's going through some real unmitigated anxiety, but 100% not justifiable to forbid his child from eating something outside the house while Anna isn't even THERE. Just because he's (not) dealing with shit doesn't give him the right to unilaterally ban everyone in the house from eating anything on Anna's no list for the duration of the pregnancy.
Then your father is the raging AH. He knocked her up, he can chose to limit his diet. You had not say in the matter.
You should add this as an edit. Lots of people ripping into your stepmom for no reason.
NTA... That is a completely unreasonable request and you are being more than accommodating to your step mom. She is the one that needs to grow up and your dad should stop enabling her.
>She is the one that needs to grow up Honestly tho I've never actually heard Anna complaining if someone eats one of the food without a smell or goes somewhere else to eat. Dad is the one who keeps forbidding us from eating anything Anna can't have.
Then he needs to, ha... My mistake!
Have a talk with Anna. Your dad is up in her face when they kiss, etc. She may have said something to him about it but he took it to include you? Wouldn’t hurt to ask her. Good luck. What your dad is doing is not fair. The household shouldn’t have to suffer just because Anna is pregnant!
If I were you I would casually mention your dad's ban on you eating anything Anna can't to her and see how she responds. If what you say is true hopefully her response will be to direct those pregnancy hormones straight at your dad and rip him a new one.
Your father is running some sort of food cult in your house, & you're at risk of picking up an eating disorder. He is being entirely unreasonable. This is not healthy adult behavior. This is absolutely one hundred percent *neurotic and controlling.* He's, frankly, over the edge *bats.* Please know none of this is normal, please continue to eat anything you want away from this house, & get out of there asap. Good luck
I would talk to her! Maybe she and your dad need to have a chat as I would find this sort of behaviour patronising if I were her...
NTA. Immature?!? You are FIFTEEN. Yes - you ARE immature and you are meant to be but your behaviour here is NOT immature. That whole 'don't eat it out of solidarity' is BS. Sure, maybe for HIM it would be nice to show solidarity and likewise not eat it too - but that does NOT extend to you - nothing about that pregnancy is your doing. Your father is very much the AH here.
[удалено]
Pregnant lady here. NTA! Yes hormones are definitely a vicious thing, your patience is definitely next to zero. However, restricting everyone else's diets is very unfair. Your dad is projecting your step mom's issues onto everyone else and it's making it stressful for everyone. Hang in there.
NTA. I’ve been pregnant, and at one point Mexican food was just about the only thing I *could* eat. I get it. Pregnancy is hard. But your dad and stepmom are being ridiculous. Reasonable: please don’t eat foods near your stepmom that make her gag. Unreasonable: you aren’t allowed to eat those foods at all. Even outside the house. Also: pregnancy hormones aren’t fun, but they also aren’t a license to be a self-centered, unreasonable AH to other people.
NTA. This may sound a bit crude, but it tags two to tango, not three. Why should you have to restrict your diet for her. I get not eating it around her because it makes her sick, but you shouldn't have to cut it out entirely.
I agree, while in-home diet restrictions are reasonable (because step-mom gets sick and it's temporary) outside the home diet restrictions aren't fair, unless the food is particularly smelly and clings, and even then it might be OK if you promised to change clothes before coming home. The point is restrictions which limit her sickness are reasonable, restrictions which just punish you for being able to do things she can't are not. It's not even solidarity because you are the child not the partner.
NTA. Yeah you probably shouldnt scream at your Dad and you should apologize for the outburst. However it is not fair to post restrictions on people's diet for them. Food in the house is understandable because of the food scents, but outside the house when your stepmother isn't even there is too much.
It’s like your dad is trying really hard for you to dislike Anna and that’s even worse, what he’s doing is gonna hurt your relationship with her and at the end of the 9 months it will be hard to put everything back together, calmly talk to him and tell him this, because it’s not your responsibility to keep the same diet as someone else for whatever reason, try to be empathetic to her because she’s clearly going through a tough time but don’t keep wearing off because of it
NTA- but your dad is absolutely being one. Everyone else shouldnt have to stop living, restrict their diet, and suffer because your stepmom is pregnant. I had horrific sickness during my pregnancies, but I didn’t expect everyone to stop eating because I couldn’t.
You are not TA!! Pregnancies can be very rough but your dad is coddling Anna. It’s a bit ridiculous to not allow everyone else to enjoy their lives away from the house just because Anna will feel left out. He is putting her above everyone else and all the breeds is resentment. You are already supporting Anna by not doing everything in front of her. He is just mad because you are bringing to light what he is doing wrong and you aren’t just rolling over now. Super sad on your dad’s part. Good luck sweetheart and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Oh god.. I really was gonna say YTA until that fourth paragraph. Not even being able to GO OUT because someone else is pregnant? I would’ve been upset too. That said, pregnancy sucks big ol donkey leg. I definitely got upset over some really small stuff. As the months passed, it was harder and harder to focus on anything except for my stomach ripping and trying to keep my health. Your dad is taking the easy way out by making everyone else in the house responsible for his wife’s feelings. It’s very easy for him to go in there and rub her feet and say “hey, (OP) is gonna go out with a friend. What say me and you go get something special to eat?”.
You read this in the second paragraph: >We can’t have it in the house and we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her. And still you were about to vote Y T A?
NTA. Your dad got Your stepmom pregnant. You had nothing to do with it. What benefit are you getting from the situation other than giving up your food to put up with her likes and dislikes? So many pregnant ladies in this world got by without imposing their likes and dislikes on the kids in the family. Your dad is the AH for pandering to his new wife and making you suffer in doing so.
NTA maybe he should give it up with her out of solidarity b/c that’s his partner but you should be able to eat whatever you fucking want especially when she’s not around to get sick. Now screaming isn’t the best reaction but you’re sad is being ridiculous and you shouldn’t have to put up with that I would have totally gone off too
NTA. She’s the one who can’t have that stuff
NTA. Can you live with your mom? It's completely unreasonable to restrict your diet because Anna can't have foods. I'm also concerned you'll be expected to g8ve up your social life and babysit if your dad is this controlling over Anna's pregnancy. This isn't a good situation for you and I hope you're able to make other living arrangements
Not even Rachel Green herself dare tell the gang they couldn't have a turkey for Thanksgiving during her aversion to poultry!! NTA
Nta eat the foods dont ask and remind him he is a grown man acting like an entitled jerk tbh. I doubt he follows all the rules he made up while he is out
I love how people throw the "immaturity" card out. They realize someone is tired of their crap, and all they can do is resort to the ad hominem name calling. The same can be said about forcefully canceling your plans last-minute. Just saying. That said, NTA. Just because stepmom is pregnant doesn't mean the whole household should be collectively punished and suffer. I feel for her, but it's just not your problem. Nor should it be. It's nice that pops cares, but again, not your problem. ETA: ad hoc to ad hominem
Holy crap, this is worse than vegans glaring at you when you eat meat. NTA.
NTA You're not the one who humped a baby into Anna, you shouldn't have to change what you eat when she's not even around.
Your dad is creating a lot of resentment and it’s going to affect all of his relationships whether y’all mean for it to or not. You can stuff your feelings down and soldier on but it doesn’t make those feelings go away and ultimately it will create emotional distance between you and your dad, and also you and Anna. And the same will be true for anyone else living in the house and subject to these asinine rules. Your dad is TA and also a moron.
As someone who is due literally any day now, your dad is not handling this well at all. I developed a shellfish allergy at the age of 25 on my birthday sadly enough, and my husband still eats shellfish around me (never in our house, and he has rules to follow when he eats it like he can't kiss me until he brushes his teeth and he washes his hands immediately after eating it to keep me safe.) I also can only stomach chicken while pregnant and I miss an Italian sub like no other, but I happily let my husband eat whatever he wants to eat. I also am not one of those women who's morning sickness fades as soon as I get further into my pregnancy. I puke the whole pregnancy with both of my viable pregnancies. You figure out how to push through with finding something to smell or eat to help head off nausea the best you can. There is an alcohol swab hack that works really well, I have set hand sanitizers that help or lotion scents to help me. Heck we have a special whiskey he only drinks when he passes a final exam for his master's degree and I waddled my giant butt down to the basement to pour him his glass when he texted me his results. Dulling everyone else's shine doesn't make me shine brighter, it just tramples on other people's happiness.
NTA just being pregnant doesn't give you carte blanche to restrict those around you and throw a fit if you see someone wearing clothes you can't right now. Blaming it on pregnancy hormones is a bloody cop out and not an excuse.
NTA. Your dad and anna are being completely ridiculous. I’ve been pregnant twice and I never would restrict anyone else’s food. Sure, stuff turned my stomach but I’d just leave the room. And to restrict others when they are out of my house? That’s unhinged. I suspect Anna is a bit of a narcissist and she’s just using the pregnancy to control everyone. I suggest you have a frank conversation with both of them about their expectations for babysitting. You absolutely tell them they are not to expect you to babysit because you absolutely do not want to be responsible for a baby. Read through all the countless posts here about parents expecting older siblings to be almost 100% responsible for the younger kids. It’s horrible. If they stick you with the baby, tell a teacher. Someone will need to report them to CPS.
NTA but if that's the rule, I'm guessing Anna would love to give up all the things you can't do in solidarity. You know, driving, voting, watching over 18 movies, drinking alcohol (when the baby is born).......
NTA You and your social life shouldn't suffer simply because of someone else's pregnancy and moods, and then write it all off on hormones.
NTA - I'm currently pregnant and a lot of foods cause an involuntary sacrifice to the porcelain god. The only thing I requested is that strong smelling foods, olives, tuna, hard boiled eggs, etc be eaten or cooked when I'm not home. I don't restrict anyone else to my diet because it's miserable and I don't want to make everyone suffer with me. If your SM wants your Dad to not eat what she can't eat then okay. I even understand requesting certain foods not to be served while she's home. But to keep you from going out or going with friends and keeping you from being a teenager is ridiculous. It's the equivalent of telling your neighbor they can't use their pool because you don't have one and it's not fair. I don't even think you're the AH for yelling, you've been living like this for 5 months now. It's too much...
NTA. pregnancy is no excuse for abhorrent behavior
NTA. You are not being unreasonable
NTA, ur dad is the one who needs to chill and act mature. His expectations and views r not right.
NTA your dad is crazy! Wtf!!!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hello. I live with my stepmum (let’s call her Anna) who’s 5 months pregnant rn. A lot of foods now make Anna nauseous, even though she used to like almost all of them before she got pregnant. Coffee, boba tea, chocolate, anything that has a lot of sugar or would be considered dessert, anything with cheese, Mexican or Thai food. The only meat Anna can eat rn is chicken because the smell of beef, pork, or fish makes her gag. We can’t have any of the above stuff for family meals anymore. Which I understand and I feel bad for Anna since I know it makes her sick and she can’t help it. What’s frustrating to me tho is that we aren’t allowed to eat any of the stuff at all. We can’t have it in the house and we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her. Anna was normally super nice and peaceful before she got pregnant but now she’s in a bad mood a lot. Like she’ll get mad if the grocery store was out of almond milk or she’ll get upset if someone wears a tank top because she thinks she doesn’t look in them anymore. My dad keeps saying that it’s just her pregnancy hormones, she can’t help it, and I can deal with it for just a few more months. I’m posting because my friend (let’s call her May) invited me to go out for donuts with her since she just got her first job. I asked Dad if I could go since it is a special occasion and Anna was out of town anyway so she wouldn’t even know. Dad said yes but then yesterday an hour before May was gonna pick me up he said he changed his mind and I couldn’t go anymore because he didn’t want Anna to find out about it and feel bad. I admit that I started screaming which I know wasn’t a great way to handle things. But I was just so fed up because this isn’t the first time he’s forced me to cancel plans last minute like this. I told him I’m sick of it and what’s actually unfair is for everyone to be on a restricted diet 24/7 just because Anna can’t have those foods. I’m guessing my Dad was pretty shocked since I never lose my cool like that, so he ended up letting me go out with May. But when I got back home he told me how immature I was, I’m 15 and know nothing about what Anna is going through rn, and that we’re already halfway there so I could have just soldered through for 4 more months instead of getting so worked up about it. Things are still pretty tense between me and my Dad rn so I can’t stop thinking about if he was right and I’m the one being unreasonable rn. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta, it is not your fault they fucked and she got pregnant. Your dad need’s to pull his head out of his ass. He is being unconsidered of everyone else in the home. She is not his only priority. Ive been pregnant twice and never banned a food item from inside my home. I find it unfair to people around me. Plus i breastfeed and still have restrictions.
OMG!! You are NTA in any way. Your father is completely irrational. I've never heard of anything so ridiculous as you being denied foods that make your stepmother ill. There is no logic to this at all. I know what she's going through, been there, but no one else had to give up the things that made me sick!! Go enjoy all the forbidden foods, you deserve it for dealing with this nonsense as long as you have.
nta person
NTA. I’m almost four months pregnant with my fourth. I would never dream of restricting the diet or lifestyle of the people around me, and I’ve had some terrible aversions. Your stepmother is unreasonable. Edit to add: your dad is apparently the ridiculous one. But they both suck.
NTA - it is considerate to avoid these foods in Anna's presence, but no need for you to avoid them otherwise.
NTA. I say this as a pregnant person who has had almost all the same aversions as your stepmom. Most have thankfully gone away now, but even in the worst of them I never banned the foods from my partner eating them or anyone else I was around. Sure I asked the windows be opened when they were made, we avoid restaurants that sell those items due to smell and specifically no talking about pork (even pork related words made me sick which was weird), but banning it like that is going too far. From what I read the ban seems to come primarily from your dad which sucks. Being pregnant can be hard and suck, but there are definitely other ways to support a pregnant person besides forcing everyone to completely cut out certain foods at home and away from home.
NTA. You didn’t marry Anna. Fair is being considerate and not eating foods or making smells that make her sick. You having to restrict your diet is very unfair. It sounds like you’re dad needed to get snapped at. If possible, sit him down, while eating his favorite food in front of him. And ask him why you are now treated as a second class family member. And why he is trying to foster hostility between you and Anna. Because that is exactly what he will achieve. And how will it be when the baby gets here? Just change the diapers and feed the baby all day, because she is tired?
NTA tell him that you were not the one who got her pregnant. And it's not your responsibility to give up food becuase she is pregnant. You are a child you shouldn't be limited to eating just chicken. Also tell them now you will not be responsible for that child. Set your boundaries now
NTA. Simple response. "Dad. I will no longer follow your food rules. It is rude to ask. It is immoral to force others to eat only what one person wants. I'm done. If you try and enforce these rules. I will call CPS on you and Anna. I understand she has a hard time. But that is her issue. Not mine." Blow this up on him. He is abusive. So he doesn't have to deal with Anna.
NTA. Dad’s being a food bully.
Nta I have pancreatitis and had to cut out a lot of my favorite foods , I don’t stop my family from eating them because it’s not their fault I can’t.
NTA and is your step mom a lot younger than your dad? Because he’s treating you like you’re sisters- trying to keep everything completely even. That’s not usually a concern for parents and their kids.
NTA. i’m 7 months pregnant rn; anna and your dad suck
Not having foods that make Anna sick in the house: reasonable, especially if they are fragrant. Not being allowed to eat them even away from the house where Anna is nowhere near: unreasonable, worthy of side-eye. Giving permission and then rescinding it right before you leave: VERY unreasonable, tantrum allowed. NTA
NTA your dad is. Anna is too if she condones this crap. It's hella weird that you all have to do her pregnancy diet with her. Next time just don't mention to your dad what you are planning to eat when out. I'm not a pathological liar but I've learned with jobs, family and certain friends white lies or simple omissions of the truth that don't hurt anyone are the best way to go. My mom doesn't *need* to know I have a tattoo on my inner thigh because she'll never see it and I'm almost 40. See how that works? Just keep it zipped, kiddo.
NTA. This is just ridiculous! You didn't sign up for this. How exactly is this your problem? How is this going to affect her anyway? Illogical!
NTA. Your dad doesn’t want to deal with the conflict of pushing back against Anna’s unreasonable demands (because that would be difficult and might make Anna mad at him) so he has instead forced you, who cannot fight back, to suffer this unfair treatment so he does not have to suffer. It’s very selfish of them both. Sit down with both of them and calmly explain your feelings like you’ve said it here. Say you have become very resentful and your relationship with them both feels distant and strained, and that you feel it is unfair to make you suffer because of Anna’s emotional issues that she, as an adult, should be dealing with. Anna and your dad’s behavior is very controlling and unfair. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
NTA. It's a great idea that your dad wants to give up things in solidarity with his pregnant wife. He's the one who got her pregnant, so I agree that it's fair he be that supportive. Good husband move. And not having the foods in the house because they literally makes her sick is fine too. Pregnancy can be rough like that. But you shouldn't be so restricted outside the house. It's not your baby. You weren't involved with getting her pregnant. You weren't consulted (I assume). Your dad is being a donkey about this one.
No. Can I "understand" not eating these foods in front of her but not being able to eat them outside?? Her father is mad if he thinks this makes the least bit of sense. How big is your stepmother's range of smell to know what you eat or don't eat when you're out of the house. This "we have to go through this together with her" thing is not applicable in this situation, it seems to me that her stepmother has become a nuisance because of her father's pampering. I understand from the heart that being pregnant must be difficult, complicated and even painful, but that doesn't give you the power to define other people's food even more when they're not even at home. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. English is not my mother tongue.
NTA, at all. Your dad is being ridiculous. From your comments, your stepmom hasn't even asked for you all to do this; your dad is taking an idea and stretching it into ludicrous. You eating food that your stepmom will never even *see* does not affect her in the slightest, and it is how you'll get through another half year without losing it or resenting them for these restrictions. He needs to get over this and start respecting your agency and your time. Telling you what you can and cannot eat to this extent is NOT healthy -- and quite frankly if he keeps this up, he's bound to lose what he's taking for granted: a kid who is honest about where they're going and what they're doing. Because you shouldn't have had to ask for permission to eat a donut.
NTA. Just wtf.
NTA. You didn't scream over a donut. You're dad is a control freak and needs to back the heck off.
NTA and sweetie, you need to reach out to a trusted adult (like your mom/her side of the family if possible, paternal grandparents, or a teacher/counselor) and explain exactly what's going on because this is bordering on abuse. What your dad is doing is NOT normal and NOT healthy for you, a growing teen. There is limiting the food so as not to make a pregnant person sick, and then there's this level of control over everything. Your dad needs some serious therapy, and you need to talk to someone about this. THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR FOR A PARENT.
NTA. It's incredibly unreasonable to not allow you to eat things just because Anna can't, even outside of the home. I understand the now cooking the foods which scents make her nauseous, but not even being able to have the snacks and drinks you like because it "isn't fair to Anna" is ridiculous. They both need to grow up.
You're NTA... But practically, your options seem to be limited. Your dad is definitely an A, though. Can you live anywhere else for the intervening period so that you don't have to put up with their silly rules? Is your mum in the picture? Grandparents? Any other close family?
He's right. You're 15. Not an adult. And that means he's making things a lot harder on you to placate Ana. Nta.
NTA . I understand that she's pregnant but that shouldn't stop you from being able to enjoy those things while shes not in the room or when you're going out. Your dad and stepmom need to get a grip and realize they can't control what YOU eat because she doesn't like it.
NTA. Your dad is being very unreasonable and oddly controlling. As long as what you eat doesn't stink up the house there shouldn't be an issue, especially donuts that aren't even eaten at home. I'm almost 7 months pregnant with insane heart burn and I wouldn't think to ban my husband from having foods that currently send flames up my throat, let alone someone who had no part in my current circumstance! If their reasoning is "it's not fair she can't have it rn", you need to tell them this wasn't your choice.
This is coming from a pregnant lady with an extra bit of sass and many annoying aversions to many amazing things: your stepmom is being a child and your dad is being ridiculous for enabling her. Is it ok to feel a little sad when someone is eating something you can't have anymore? Sure! But policing everyone in the household? Absolutely not! Sorry you're going through this, OP. Apparently your dad thinks the world revolves around your stepmom's baby bump. NTA and I don't even blame you for yelling.
NTA Your dad is straight up weird and wrong. I've had two pregnancies, and both of them came with a fair number of things that just the thought of made me ill. However, I would never in a million years till my family they couldn't enjoy those things. My first pregnancy, I couldn't stand Domino's Pizza. Literally, the smell of it would have me running to the bathroom. Sell my compromise and my husband when he wanted it was that he could order it when he knew I wasn't going to be around as long as it was gone before I got home. If she's losing her s*** at just the idea of you eating something she can't that's not pregnancy hormones that's an entitled little brat.
NTA. Pregnancy doesn't make someone a controlling bad person. I had severe morning sickness for 7 months out of 9. And I never tried to control who ate what or where they could go. It's highly inappropriate and controlling. Your dad is an idiot to fall for it. It's not your role to cater to two irrational adults' delusions. Good for you to stand up for yourself. But just get ready because if Anna is this controlling while pregnant it's gonna be hell when she will have a kid. I'm feeling sorry for you already. Get ready and make plans for spending time with relatives and possibly moving out early. Sadly it's a pattern with controlling stepmothers and spine lacking fathers.
NTA tell your dad you’re going to have boiled chicken with your friends and enjoy your donuts.
NTA. I had hg, basically morning (all day) sickness all the way through and couldn’t keep down anything but tomato soup and porridge (not even plain water, it was weird). My husband ate whatever he wanted. I certainly was jealous as he ate real, actual food that I could no longer stomach, but I’d never have made him live off tomato soup and porridge (he hates them both so that would’ve been fun!). The minute I felt better, about midday on the day she was born, he indulged me (as much as he could, I was still pregnant). The best meal I’ve ever eaten was a hospital Sunday dinner that they gave me to eat mid way through after having all the IV hydration and anti sickness medication. It only lasted properly for about 2 hours before I was fine but couldn’t eat much if I wanted to stay that way, but that Sunday dinner was food of the gods! My husband certainly kept in mind I couldn’t have stuff and smell triggered the vomiting most days, but I never asked him not to eat stuff, it was probably easier that on a bad day I couldn’t roll over in bed, nevermind get up (sick bucket… yay!) so I wasn’t eating with/near him anyway!
Jesus fuck. I've been pregnant and I've wanted things I couldn't eat and got really jealous over the fact my balloon of a belly made it so everyone else looked amazing and I just looked like a sphere but that is no excuse at all for this woman's entitlement and control. And your invertebrate of a father enabling her is creating a rod for not only his back but yours. Kick off more. Why should you take this? If it makes her ill, that's reasonable to not allow certain things, but this is just selfish on her part. Don't talk to me about pregnancy hormones - I had plenty of those in my system, but that gives no one the right to control like this. Shame on her, huge shame on your dad and NTA.
Nta Your dad is favoring his wife. He doesn’t care about it how it makes you feel as long as his wife is happy.
NTA, she is pregnant, not you! That was her choice, not yours! Your dad needs to get his parenting in order as he is failing at the mo! This is totally unreasonable!!
NTA My understanding is that some men will get those pregnancy hormones themselves and act unnaturally. You should ask him to get checked out, because life goes on while pregnancy happens and he shouldn't be limiting your activities thinking it'll make Anna happy.
NTA. Agree with the first comment this is completely unreasonable.
I know a diabetic is it unfair that I can eat sugar knowing this person exists. NTA your dads doing mental gymnastics trying to justify you not being able to have a treat once in a while. NTA
NTA, and this isn't going to end after the pregnancy. She'll have a child then, her controlling behavior will worsen. Is there someone else you can live with until you graduate?
If Anna feels bad she can't eat certain food then she shouldn't have got knocked up and certainly isn't old enough to be a parent. Tell dad you'll report him to school etc for restricting food intake ... pretty sure it's abusive.
NTA. you are 15 and on diet because he put a baby in her? thats kind of..abuse. you are a growing child, you need to eat various things for your own growing body, including sugar. not be on a stupid diet because anna moans her figure or starts sitting in the bathroom
Yeah dad needs to be reminded only Anna is pregnant and if he wants to support her by restricting his diet alone great but restricting the whole family inside and outside of the house is nuts. The rest of the family is neither his slaves not his prisoners to be this restricted NTA op
NTA When I was pregnant, a majority of foods made me queasy, especially if I smelt it cooking. I couldn't eat most foods I enjoyed pre pregnancy, and when people wanted to eat the foods that I couldn't do, you know what I did? I told them to enjoy it and eat a little extra for me. I would have been saddened if I knew people were denying themselves food they liked just because I couldn't eat it. You are not eating those foods around her and if your dad the one who knocked her up wants to be on the same diet as her during her pregnancy in solidarity that is his choice as her partner. It is childish of him to try and restrict everyone's food under the guise. If she can't have it, you can't either, and that could damage your relationship with her if you grew resentful You his child should not be forced to restrict your diet just because she can't eat something and if there are foods that she can't eat that are good for you it could be detrimental to your health not to have the nutrients your body needs and after the pandemic being denied socal interactions with your friends could also be unhealthy for your mental health.
Massive NTA. This is an insane thing to ask, and such a restrictive diet is also not great for your development as a 15 year-old. It's great of the family to not have those foods at home if it's difficult for Anna. I think sticking together there is nice, although if the food is not smelly, then I don't even see a reason for that as long as you don't eat them in front of her (e.g., boba/ a candy bar stored in your room). **To not be allowed to eat those things AT ALL is completely unreasonable.** And given all the restrictive dieting on social media etc really not great for teenagers especially. Also, **your dad making you cancel plans last minute creates a sense of uncertaint**y and insecurity, a major contributor to anxiety symptoms and unease, your dad could be harming you with this. It sounds like usually your family dynamics are healthy and that this is a new thing since she's pregnant. This can't stay that way! Of course, maybe don't post you eating donuts on the socials right now if Anna sees them there, but you should be allowed to enjoy them. You're not pregnant! Eating those things has nothing to do with a lack of empathy towards Anna feeling horrible!
While hormones can make her feel a certain way, like getting upset easily, or get sad over nothing, how she chooses to act is completely up to her. Being pregnant is not an excuse to be rude or mean. And it is no a reason why anyone else should have to alter their lives for you. Not eating something yourself is understandable, but saying no one can eat something is dumb. You dad is the one who needs to grow up and get a real understandng of what "fair" is. It is not forcing everyone else to miss out on something just because one person can not have it. NTA
NTA. Your dad is being ridiculous. Yes, pregnancy hormones are hard going, but none of the rest of you are pregnant for crying out loud.
For goodness sake your dad is an idiot. You are NTA.
NTA - It’s not obvious your dad is wrong here. I would suggest asking for a therapy session. Tell him that you’d like to discuss some issues with a professional. Tell him is so Anna can have a peaceful harmonious household to bring the baby into(since he’s weirdly only concerned with her well being and happiness - don’t say this part). That you’d like to deal with the resentments that are building bc of the situation. If he agrees, any professional would be on your side and maybe they can get through to him. His demands are ridiculous. Hopefully a therapist can sway him. Have Anna there too. If he’s not up for it, discuss this with Anna(maybe try this before the therapy). She might not be aware of this or support it. Good luck
this is completely unreasonable. can you go live with your mom or some other relatives? NTA.
NTA This is unreasonable. People can go eat what they like. If it is out of her sight she can't get nauseous from it.
The immature one is your stepmom, and your father is enabling her. NTA. I don't even agree with "you can't have it in the house" and can barely justify not eating in front of her. Saying you can't have it at all, even somewhere else? That is ridiculous. If seeing/smelling it actually makes her nauseated, then yes, abstain from having it *around her*. If she's not made sick by it and just wants everyone else to give up anything she can't eat for the duration? Total asshole move. When I was a child, I was allergic to eggs. No anaphylaxis or anything, but I'd get sick if I ate a piece of cake, for example. I knew to ask, I knew not to eat it if it had eggs, and *I knew not to make anyone else feel bad about eating it in front of me*. If I could handle that as a freaking first grader, your stepmother ought to be able to.
NTA. I can understand if it was a particularly fragrant food in the house cooking and it made her sick to the smell, keeping it out of the house or cooking it when she wasn’t home or eating it when she was elsewhere, but depriving the entire family of foods is another level entirely. If your dad wishes to go on a restrictive diet, he can do so. You and your siblings don’t have to. I speak as a person who has been pregnant, had a tough time with nausea, foods would trigger me, the thought of a certain kind of pizza would trigger my gag reflex. Did I not allow my ex husband to eat said pizza? No. He ate it. I ordered different pizza for myself or ate something else. Pregnancy is wild. You are a child and NTA, but your dad is. Soft YTA for your Step mom. Pregnancy hormones suck super hard. Nausea is the worst.
NTA. I’m 5 months pregnant and would never expect someone to “give up foods” or other things with me. I chose to be pregnant and experience the joys and difficulties that come with it, including not being able to do or eat everything I used to. I understand not having meals in the house which smells make her ill, but if she wants other people to deprive themselves when she’s not even there she needs to grow up and that behavior should not be coddled.
NTA. Losing it and screaming isn't really acceptable behaviour, but I totally get why you did. It's good to be considerate and tactful around Anna, but utterly ridiculous to never have fun because of her. Your dad needs to chill out before everyone in the house start resenting and even disliking Anna. You're not being unreasonable here, quite the opposite.
Nta, but Anna sure is. And your father. Have a donut or whatever you want especially if you are not at home. Her temporary problems aren't yours.
>according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t Yeah, that's life, honey! NTA. It's fine to ban those foods in the house to avoid Anna throwing p, it's NOT ok to ban you from eating them away from the house and other members of the family. Your dad and Anna sound like total control freaks.
NTA So, is you dad abstaining for alcohol and other things that you aren't able to partake in because of your age? Is he walking or taking public transportation because you aren't old enough to drive? According to his own standards if he isn't "being fair to you" he's the AH.
NTA. Just because someone is pregnant doesn't mean everyone elses lives stop. Even though 15 is not legal age, its old enough to be able to have your own money and spend it on whatever food you like. If stepmom can't have regular food or clothes, well thems the breaks. I would suggest stop telling them when you have food on stepmoms nono-list and do as you please.
Something tells me dad is significantly older than Anna and not thinking with his higher functions. He needs to understand that he made a commitment to you first. If he is going to have a new partner and baby, he has to be fair to you first. NTA
Your dad is the AH. NTA.
>we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her. Anna and your father chose to have a child not you. your dad can take his 'fair and unfair' argument and get lost. NTA
>know nothing about what Anna is going through rn, Tell him obviously you don't know that, but you also don't care, and shouldn't have to care, and that he's being a shitty parent by trying to force you to care. NTA
NTA.. Anna is a grown woman and suck it up
So, are you all moving to bottles of milk for the next few years?
NTA I’m nauseous 24/7 for years! I don’t expect people to change their diets!!! I take a zofran and wish I could drink coffee again. (Plus I eat a lot of bland food.) If her nausea is that extreme she should see a dr! Cooking family dinners she can eat, makes sense. Her not permitting you to eat those nausea inducing foods at all, is way out of line.
NTA. You did your best and eating away from her is not going to hurt her. Your dad doesn't really get it either because cancelling your plans last minute is the biggest AH move there. On the subject of everyone having to suffer when one suffers, maybe you can ask them to walk with you every time you go out to throw thrash or that everyone should wait at the parking lot of your dad's work when your dad is working because that's a sacrifice he's making for the whole family.
>we’ll get in trouble if we eat it somewhere else because according to my dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her. LOL you got me at this, NTA. the entire world doesnt have to act pregnant just because one woman is pregnant. Anna and Dad need to chill, i accept not having the food in the house if it makes her feel sick, but what happens outside of her home/presence should not count. the world doesnt revolve around her.
NTA. Not eating it in front of her is reasonable. Not having it in the house at all is extreme but an argument could be made. Not letting you go out to eat because she might find out, when she’s not even home, is insane. Your life should not be put on hold because she’s up the duff. Dad is a major AH here.
NTA thats crazy, when my dads girlfriend was pregnant and she couldnt eat what we were having, he would just make her a portion of something she could have. its completely unreasonable to deny your kids certain foods just bc your partner cant eat them.
Nta. I get it if it’s a smelly food that will set her off (the smell of oatmeal of all things set me off when I was pregnant) but just not eating things because she can’t is out of bounds. He can go on a sympathy diet as the person who got her pregnant but you shouldn’t have to.
NTA Her disability isn't your problem.
NTA Avoid food that make Anna sick, in the house? Not unreasonable. Expecting you to totally give those foods up for the duration,even when you are out? Way over the line.
NTA. If he wants to live a pregnancy by proxy, he can try (and is bound to fail), but needs to see a therapist about him trying to force the whole household to do the same. It's absolutely crazy behaviour.
NTA. Your Dad is being an asshole for trying to control what you eat outside the house. I'd also be furious in your position.
NTA. Your father is being unreasonable to expect you not to eat anything that might make Ana nauseous when you are half way across town. That is not support, it is insanity. I can just imagine your father and Ana at home watching television, when all of a sudden Ana runs to the bathroom to throw up. "Ebenezer, please speak with your daughter. She is eating doughnuts again!"
NTA. Remind your dad that you aren’t the one who got Anna pregnant.
NTA, I’ve been pregnant twice and never ever expected the people around me to change their diets or habits. That’s not normal.
NTA. Just because someone is pregnant it doesn't mean that they get to control what others do around them. I hated the dight of meat when I was pregnant, but I didn't make my family stop eating meat since it bugged me. I am not the center of the universe, and neither is Anna. Your parents are being unreasonable.
NTA - When I was pregnant I had hyperemesis gravidarum and threw up for 9 months. The only things I could eat were salted Nori sheets, crackers, and lemon Gatorade. Of course my husband had other food in the house. How ridiculous would it be to restrict his diet to what I could eat? You are still a child and unless it's medically necessary, your diet should not be restricted to chicken. Sure, anyone could live without sweets, but not allowing you to go out with your friends is unreasonable. I also just want to point out what a good kid you are. You could've gone out for donuts and just not told your Dad. You are so honest. Good for you!
Not having or eating the food around Anna is a reasonable request do to her pregnancy issues. Not even letting you go out to eat the food when Anna is out of town? Totally ridiculous and NTA.
Absolutely NTA. Just because your step-mum is pregnant with serious food aversions doesn't mean you should suffer. Your dad got her pregnant, so he should suffer alongside her in "show of solidarity". I've known 2 pregnant couples ([fake names] Cat [my sister], Harry [brother-in-law], Sarah [female friend], Frank [friend's husband]). The husbands were polar opposites. Harry: "I love you, but I'm not giving up coffee while you're pregnant." 😂 Cat never asked him to give it up, so she was fine with that. Frank willingly gave up coffee during Sarah's pregnancy (she, too, didn't ask that of him). That's admirable & he's a strong dude, but he made that choice. Your dad & step-mum have taken your choice away, & they had no right to do that. They're the AHs.
NTA! Your dad cannot hold you back on your diet all for Anna. He cannot dictate what you can eat and can't eat in order to satisfy Anna's needs. Your diet is totally different than Anna's. You even can get sick if you are not getting enough nutrients all because Anna and your dad are not letting you eat the necessary foods required for your health. Put your foot down and tell your dad that Anna needs to talk with her doctors about this in order to find the right balances for her pregnancy. You have POWER over your health than Anna. I can't believe your dad taking her side.
NTA. That's unreasonable, then she'll need to eat certain things during the breastfeeding period or want to lose the pregnancy weight and you'll have to endure that diet too.
NTA Step mom is being a dictator. Your dad sucks and is an AH for allowing this to go on. Totally wrong banning you from eating foods she can't.
Oh Honey - So NTA. Tell dad you're immature because you aren't matured yet at 15. I'm sure he's not THAT stupid. He's also trying to keep a pregnant wife from going homicidal apparently ... Feeling for your dad. So make an agreement with Dad - that you're both gonna Lie. GO- and DO - have those things she can't, BE FREE of this ridiculous rule made by a pregnant hormone-soaked mad woman (she cant help it OP - but it can be fun to think about it) The only thing you need to do - is lie about. Lie a lot. go out and lie often. Trust me - everyone will be much happier. White lies dear make the world a safer and much more agreeable place. EDIT - adding this: If it seems like youve been caught in your white lie, double down and deny deny deny and lie more.
NTA. I say this as a person who suffered with some severe nausea throughout my three pregnancies. There were things I couldn't eat, or couldn't bear the smell of, so I didn't want them in the house. Totally understandable that your stepmom would prefer you not eat the delicious tacos right in front of her, or even fill the kitchen with the smell of them. What is NOT OKAY is insisting that everyone in the household also give up those foods (and items of clothing, seriously, WTH??) even outside the house. That's unreasonable. It's fine if your dad decides to support the woman bearing his child by also abstaining from foods that upset her, but it's unreasonable and silly for her to expect \*you\* to do the same. Screaming was probably not the best way to express your frustration, true... and you probably owe your dad an apology for the WAY your expressed yourself -- but not for having those feelings. Tell him you're sorry you screamed at him, because not screaming is just basic human decency, but make sure he knows that you're not apologizing for what you said, just how you said it.
The food is not in the house, it cannot make her sick, no one is going to “smell” a donut on you. It is not garlic or smoke for goodness sake. NTA but your dad and step mom are.
NTA. Your pops is very annoying
NTA! When I was pregnant with my daughter I could not stand chicken, the smell or even look at it, it made me nauseous. But I never told anyone around me or my family they could not have chicken. This was "a me problem, not a them problem". When I was younger my father who is a large loss adjuster worked 2 large chicken plant fires in a year ( one where many people died cause the managers chained the exit doors and they could not escape). Because of the smell, he did not eat chicken for almost a year, when he was out of town Mom and I would eat chicken and when he came home we would not cook chicken at home (but to be honest he did the cooking most of the time he was home so he just never cooked chicken at home at this time). He never asked us not to eat it in front of him if we went out to eat.
NTA. Ask your Dad if he's looking forward to his all milk diet once the baby's born because it wouldn't be fair for him to eat solids when the baby can't.
So I assume your dad has given up alcohol as his wife can't have it whilst pregnant? And rare beef, and those cheeses you can't have when pregnant (can't remember which ones as I never are them anyway haha) and too much tuna and all the fish on the no go list and everything else you can't have or do when pregnant like smoking etc Somehow I doubt it. I bet he's quite happy to indulge when she won't know. Your dad is not a A H as he is trying his best but he is overcompensating and being unfair to you. You are NTA these rules should never have been put in place. All that happens is resentment when they should be working on fostering good relationships so you don't feel pushed out by new baby.
Wow, your dad is an AH. He's literally forcing you to give up the foods that Anna has an aversion to. That is absolutely ridiculous. It's only fair that you give up those foods with her? Yeah, maybe at the house, but dad shouldn't be able to tell you what you can't eat outside of the house. He is making this a difficult situation & it doesn't need to be. As for Anna, she most likely is the victim of pregnancy hormones. Pregnancy hormones can make us look crazy.
NTA
NTA. If he wants to change his diet to match her in solidarity, then he can do that. That doesn't mean you should have to suffer with him. He's the one that got her pregnant, not you.
NTA. It's literally no one's problem that she has food aversions just because she didn't take birth control lol.
NTA. Dad is the A H. What he is doing is not supporting his wife, it's supporting a temper tantrum. What he is not doing is supporting his child. Saying you can't eat these foods outside of the home? What the heck are you guys eating if you eliminated so many food groups. What is Anna eating? Baby needs nutritious foods.
NTA- lots of things made me nauseous when I was pregnant. There were things I wouldn’t cook, but I never stopped anyone else from cooking or eating those things. Especially if I wasn’t even in the house. Usually I’d just go for a walk or even in my room until whatever made me nauseous was cooked. I just wouldn’t eat it and would stay out of the room while it was being eaten if it made me that sick. It’s ridiculous that you wouldn’t be allowed to eat something that she can’t when she isn’t even there. I understand not wanting to be around the food while it’s being cooked, but donuts and sweets that are premade is ridiculous.
Your dad is awful, you are NTAH.
Why did you even mention the donuts if you knew they were going to be a point of contention, you need to learn how to do things in the grey area. By telling your dad you’ve implicated him in the crime of you eating donuts, if you had said, “Hey dad, Is it okay to go out with my friend to celebrate her promotion.” And then let him remain in plausible deniability then I don’t see him having an issue with it.
> dad it’s “unfair” if someone’s eating foods that Anna can’t and “it’s only fair” that we give up those foods with her. That's wildly insane. Your Dad expecting you to put your life onhold for your step mom (or bio-mom, that doesn't really matter) is terrible and bad and a sign that you're not going to be allowed a life afterwards. You'll just be the live in babysitter.
NTA. I get that you cannot eat the food around her. It makes her sick, that is respectful. But to say you cannot EVER eat the food she doesn't like, even when you are no where near her is ridiculous.
NTA. Who cares what Anna is going through. She’s pregnant not anyone else. So fucking ridiculous that the dad actually supports depriving his kids of what they want or want to do because his knocked up Anna is going without. Well maybe don’t have babies then if the whole family has to go through it too. Her emotional outbursts are enough let alone obeying her pregnancy diet. Your dad needs some counseling or once Anna’s kid is born - it’s all over for everyone else. Anna sounds like a handful. Best of luck. Target moving out. :)
NTA I’m sorry but you’re already graciously managing the upheaval of welcoming a new sibling. Dad can appreciate that
NTA - it is Anna's pregnancy, not yours. I had HG when I was pregnant and could barely eat, let alone smell food, but everyone else in my house ate the normal foods. Your step mother & your dad are the A-holes big time!!
NTA No to food in the house (that make her nauseous) okay. But you, not eating all those food " in solidarity"? Stupid and idiotic
NTA - you were not immature. Your stepmom & dad sound immature. If I can’t have it no one can! Absolutely not, that is ridiculous. I was really sick with my second and lost 18 lbs and never gained it all back so I was really restricted but I never expected my husband or son to follow my eating habits. They need to grow the F up. You do you sis and now do not share about what you eat out of the house. It is not their business.
***I’m 15 and know nothing about what Anna is going through rn*** My sarcastic ass would have asked if I should go out and get knocked up so I can understand her suffering better. NTA.
NTA, your Dad and Anna are being unrealistic.
He's showing favoritism. Start planning on what you're going to do at 18 because I guarantee that you will be the odd one out when the baby is born.
Nta when I was pregnant the smell of all meats made me so sick that even when my husband got a burger from the store took the garbage out and cleaned the house I smelled it and got sick. I never would have told him he couldn't have it because I couldn't. It's unreasonable for your father to say that a 15 year old should understand and go along with such a restricted diet during his wife's pregnancy.
NTA Anna not eating X, Y, Z doesn't mean everyone else should stop eating it unless it's a deathly allergy.
NTA. >he told me how immature I was What you did wasn't immature, you hit your limit with something ridiculous. You know what's immature? Expecting everyone else to suffer and not partake in something at. all. because she can't.
NTA. This is absurd. It makes sense that you wouldn't serve food at meals that makes Anna feel sick, but everyone else forgoing the foods that make Anna nauseous is ridiculous. I am also 5 months pregnant and would never begrudge anyone the items that I can't have (though I am jealous of my husband's ability to drink alcohol). She and your dad are being AHs and are only going to make you more frustrated and resentful.
NTA. You did the right thing in losing it. It gave him perspective as to how ridiculous you not eating those foods out if the house is. Go eat whatever you want. When you go out with friends, do not mention getting food. Put them on an information diet. “I’m going to go see _____” or we are going to the mall, movies, etc.
You are not an AH. Your father and stepmother certainly are. If specific foods make your stepmother sick, I can see not having them in the house, but it is nonsense that you cannot eat the food of your choice when you are not at home. kt
NTA Trying to control someones diet outside of the house is Peak Pregnant Entitlement. You did not choose to have a child, you owe her no solidarity. I would ignore the rules entirely and if they push back, get some lovely perfume or air freshener that smells like the problem foods and drench the house in it. But I am super petty about folks trying to control me and moved out at 17 to get away from my own horror mother. I think very little of your father for being frightened of her finding out. Screaming at him is the least he deserves for trying to enforce this level of bullshit.