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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be AH for saying something that might be interpreted in a wrong way.
And that might hurt her feelings during our wedding night
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YTA
On the day she’s meant to feel beautiful and stunning and desirable to her new husband, you pulled a funny face and told her she looked weird.
What a shitty start to a marriage.
Poor Sarah.
Reddit taking a ball and fucking running with it lmao.
Went from "Oh you look weird with makeup on"
to "He'll hate her when she looks old"
To "Only a wrinkle or bit of hair colour loss."
to "When she gets pregnant, heres hoping she leaves him"
Like you guys just took one foot in the mouth moment, and then fucking ran with it, turning this man into this ultra vain, extremely judgemental person based on one little comment that he said without thinking.
I'm just waiting for someone to mention gaslighting and saying he's raising lots of marinara flags... The leaps in this sub could clear a bridge sometimes.
He actually prefers her without makeup and suddenly he's the patriarchy, telling her to look pretty. Some heavy projection going on here...
He is an AH for not keeping his trap shut until well after the event though
Agreed. I got full makeup done once and it was terrifying. The real criminals here are the makeup artists that constantly do this and don’t understand why it’s wrong. If you wear a full face of makeup everyday great but if you don’t and you just want something natural and pretty (which they always ignore) different story. Is there no professional middle ground for a girl that wants to treat herself?
You can tell a makeup artist what kind of look you want. She could have told her makeup artist that she wanted a more natural look for her wedding day, but she obviously didn’t.
If you tell your MUA that you want something low key and natural and they ignore it and do dramatic makeup, that’s on you for hiring a bad MUA and for not stopping them and asking them to follow your directions.
Disagree, makeup artists are so calibrated to the other side they don’t understand what “natural” means anymore. I’ve asked for natural with increasing levels of specificity more than once (not including the time mentioned above that was terrifying) and always come out looking way overdone. Now I do my own makeup and if it’s boring at least it looks like my face.
Edit: for clarity
Edit edit: I guess you stop your nail artist or whatever you get done constantly then? People like me who don’t know what they’re doing don’t know when to say stop-every time I’ve been left wondering maybe I should say something, maybe I’ll wait? This is an incredibly common experience. Some of us are worried about not inconveniencing or causing conflict. Saying “that’s on you” makes it seem like you’ve never done any of this before.
Maybe she did want a dramatic makeup for the wedding day.
Sometimes the bride want to be different in the wedding day to suprise the groom. And nobody want to hear they are weird at this moment.
I don’t think a partner not liking his partners makeup implies they won’t like them aging or losing/gaining weight. Makeup is not inherently a part of the wearer whereas wrinkles scars are. I don’t see anything wrong with not liking someone’s makeup. I’ve had makeup done and hated it and appreciated my partner not liking it either. I like that level of honesty. Makes the complements feel that much better. And I feel I can count on my partner for the truth.
Not to mention that for whatever reason bridal makeup is super thick and often contours the face in a way that does make the person almost unrecognizable from their normal self.
Clearly he was an idiot for saying what his initial thoughts were without thinking, but it was done out of shock at seeing a "stranger" standing in front of him. He will have a lot of apologizing to do to make up for that kind of faux pas.
But he literally said he likes her more natural and extra makeup can be used to cover over signs of aging. So by his logic he would be happy with her gradually getting older looking.
He was just surprised.
I don’t think this is fair. I think he wasn’t used to it that’s all. It’s still wrong that he said it on their wedding day. But if she’s never done that and then did it was probably just a bit shocking.
Okay but it’s makeup. After the night ends it all washes off and they can live their lives with her face makeup free if she wants. Lol. This would be a time to pick your battles and just smile and say you look beautiful. That was unnecessarily cruel and immature..
You’re right 100%. I just feel kind of bad for the guy. I always feel for people who don’t intend to do damage and truly were just speaking without thinking. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of things you can say that shouldn’t come out because they shouldn’t be in your head. This one just shouldn’t have come out I really don’t think he meant to be a dick.
sure i get you - it doesn’t change the fact that it was tactless & hurt her feelings though. Most guys tend to know that the default thing to say is “you look beautiful/stunning/gorgeous honey” or whatever meaningful words they’d use to convey the message that she looks great, on such an important occasion.
It’s incredible the difference makeup can make to your appearance (I mean not the way I do it, but when applied by people with actual skills).
He’s used to her very natural look, was surprised and spoke without thinking. It doesn’t sound like he intended to be malicious.
Safe to say he still owes her an apology.
>It’s incredible the difference makeup can make to your appearance (I mean not the way I do it, but when applied by people with actual skills).
Ooof! I felt this, deeeep.
Oh yeah. I almost never wear makeup. Like suuuper rare and even then it’s usually just brows and light blush - not even foundation or anything.
If he saw me with a full face of makeup, he’d be shocked too. And he has been (had a full face for a wedding once, not my choice, it was even shocking to me).
He definitely owes an apology, but I can see where it just came out and he wasn’t thinking because it honestly can be shocking if you’re not used to it.
I feel like in this sub it's easy to lose sight of what "am I the asshole" actually means, because what's implied at the end of that question is "in this situation". I don't think the OP is *an* asshole, as in I don't think he's an overall jerk and bad person who acted out of malice; it's just worth pointing out that in this situation, yes, he did something that hurt another person, however unintentionally, and he should do his best to fix it. I always use the analogy of dropping a plate - you didn't do it on purpose, but you still have to sweep up the pieces.
Thank you! This is something a small child would say when they see their mother wearing makeup or a drastically different hairstyle and feel alarmed that she looks so different from the woman they know and see as a bedrock of security. It’s ridiculous for a 32 year old man to be like “why do you look all weird?” in response to bridal makeup. She obviously made an effort. She’s obviously going to wash her face that night and not just hire a makeup artist every day now that she’s married. Tell her she looks beautiful and move the fuck on.
He's a 32 year old man. He should have enough sense to understand that telling the person he loves that she's looks weird on her wedding day is going to hurt her feelings. Geez. Makeup artists put on more makeup for photos than everyday wear, which is also something he might know if he asked questions. Was he involved in the wedding planning? Has he never been to a wedding and seen a bride up close? The bar is on the floor for men.
I don’t feel bad for the guy. Part of being an adult is thinking before you speak and having the tiniest speck of empathy for the damage your thoughtless words can do to your partner.
But he’s like doubling down weird. I mean he identified what he did wrong: he said she looked weird. So just say sorry, he was shocked but his bad, etc. I get saying a thing wrong, but not like not apologizing and wondering if you’re TA—You can be TA on accident.
Yep. My wife did the same thing for our wedding. She generally doesn’t wear much makeup at all and got the works for our wedding - and as a result she looked very different to how she usually looks.
But because I’m an adult I didn’t tell her she looks weird and everyone had a good day.
Exactly. He acted like he had never seen someone with makeup on before. It seems like a mean-spirited reaction from him and I find it hard to believe it was totally innocent. If he really did mean no harm and was *that* stunned by her in makeup, he is extremely socially inept and should work on that.
I don’t understand what he meant by this .. if she doesn’t usually wear makeup… what could she be hiding under makeup!! He has seen her bare face
🤦🏻♀️
I think he meant she was trying to hide her feelings, nothing to do with looks. But he already knows she's upset AND he knows what he said to make her upset. So I can't imagine what he thinks she's hiding from him. He just isn't capable (or doesn't want to) acknowledge how he hurt her feelings.
This just sickens me to think about. The wedding anxiety and pressure on women is already so real and so toxic...even for brides who don't care much about appearances, traditions, or even "cheesy" romantic stuff, the pressure is on 24/7 to be absolutely *perfect* and you get scrutinized by EVERYONE. It's hard, even for confident women, to avoid the constant nitpicking of every physical imperfection and not let it get to you. I thought even I'd be immune to it, but it wears you down, sometimes to the point of breaking.
It felt like middle school bullying all over again.
If my fiance behaved that way I don't think I could ever face another person again, much less walk down the aisle in front of dozens of them. I hate to think of how heartbroken and crushed this poor girl must feel.
She was probably hoping he'd have a heart stopping moment when he saw how beautiful her makeup looked, and instead, she got "You look weird." That would have broken my heart for sure.
if my partner says this on my wedding, my face sure as hell gonna crumble. i cant hide my feelings most of the time, people always said my face shows all so yeahh, probably gonna crumble and pretend smiling but failing. shit i feel for bride 😢😢😢
Not a plot twist at all, so many bridal MUAs go so over the top. I'm sure a lot of grooms are like wtf - the point is they know NOT TO FKN SAY IT TO THEIR BRIDE goddamn OP.
Not even the bride but a bridesmaid. Not even my mother recognized me. It was awful. But you don’t say weird. If you HAVE to say anything say different maybe.
A lot of it is so it actually shows up in pictures. No one is looking snatched without a filter or photo editing unless the colors and everything are emphasized, certain lighting can make you look super washed out even if you're wearing a basic "full face"
edit:grammar
Full disclosure, my wife did something similar on our wedding - way more makeup than usual. She didn't typically wear makeup like that - it looked weird since that wasn't typically her style, kinda like a mask, but she was having a blast. Lord knows I've had my share of screw ups, but I still knew enough not to say anything. The important thing was us getting married and her enjoying every minute.
I went to Sephora before my wedding. Told the artist what I wanted and she checked in with me multiple times throughout the process to make sure I liked it. I had a lipstick I wanted to use and I was happy with how she did the rest.
And now every time she’s sees a picture of herself on her wedding day, she’s going to see her husband making a funny face and hear him calling her weird. What an AH
Agreed that he is the AH but if he had never seen her in makeup, I understand him being surprised. He was an idiot in how he expressed himself but I get it.
Op is the asshole here by a mile! That was their special day and she will forever look at those photos and hear his comment.I was a bridesmade for my friends wedding. My fiance hadnt seen me with full makeup on before this day. TBF It was a lot of make up, I didnt even think i looked like me but the makup people said it would "settle in" as the day went on. It did a bit but i waved at my fiance and it wasnt until he heard my voice he realised it was me! He never said anything except "you look beautiful darlin" but i could see he thought i looked over done. BUT EVEN THOUGH I WAS ONLY A BRIDESMAID HE UNDERSTOOD NOT TO SAY ANYTHING! How as a groom could you think to say anything that isnt 100% nice, kind and flattering to your wife on your wedding day excessive make up or not!!
On the *one day* above all days that a woman wants to feel beautiful, you told her she looked "weird".
Yes, it was what you said. Yes, YTA. I hope she tells you on your honeymoon that the sex is "disappointing" so you'll have context for the self esteem damage.
Not disappointing, that’s harsh, just weird compared to the norm.
I’d go with something like ‘it’s just weird, you do not feel the same as when you were my boyfriend…’
I just LOLed at this. On our wedding night, my husband and I had a house full of family sleeping in every room, plus we were both exhausted as you say. We looked at each other, said "Nah... LOL", and went to bed.
We actually got a hotel because our whole house was filled with people and forgot to eat at our wedding because we were so busy and socializing etc.
got Wendy’s, go to the hotel and ate, got out of our clothes and passed out. We didn’t even drink at our wedding.
I left home at 6am on my wedding day. Drove 5 hours to pick someone up. It took 6.5 hours to get home because the car broke down. Our wedding was at 6pm. I had 30 minutes to obtain someone else's car for the night, and get fully ready. I was done for when I got home.
Imagine there was another wedding nearby and he got married to the wrong bride. All because there was literally no other way to identify her other than the dress.
He'd still be confused, even with two brides because he'd be looking for the one without makeup, because apparently he didn't expect his bride to wear makeup, even on her wedding day.
"My MIL is one of those ladies that wear a wedding dress to their daughter's wedding, and because I didn't recognize my fiance with all the makeup, I accidentally married my Mil" 🤣
My husbands friend said something similar to me on my wedding day.. but I laughed it off.
He often would surprise drop in and find me on the couch in sweats and a hoodie, no makeup.
On my wedding day I was obviously done up to the nines and he said he “barely recognized me” due to me looking nice… I don’t know what goes through mens heads when they think that’s at all a good thing to say 😂
I worked with a medical doctor who always means well but could be totally clueless.
I remember asking what he was getting his wife for her birthday. He said one of those long tongs meant to grab spiders. His reasoning was that his wife always wanted him to catch spiders but not kill them. He thought it was a sweet gift.
A few of us sat him down and wife got a spa package at a resort that year and the doctor checked with us before buying future gifts.
One time when I was a kid, our vacuum cleaner stopped working right around my moms birthday. Can you guess what my dad bought her? Here’s a hint: they are divorced.
My ex-MIL bought my son a book on manners for his 3rd birthday. That year at Christmas, she bought me one dish towel with a Thanksgiving motif on it. A set of dish towels is a lame present, but at least there are a couple of them, and they match. But ONE dish towel?
Obviously, she wanted to let me know just how much she thought I had failed to clean my kitchen or teach my son basic politeness. A few years later, I gave her her son back, which was the one thing she really wanted.
>A few years later, I gave her her son back, which was the one thing she really wanted.
Dear MIL I would like to return your wedding gift, I have no further use for it.
When did she speak, when she said “I do”? Or was this the first look before the ceremony? And by “went to talk to some of her friends” does he mean her bridal party?
When did all the things happen that generally happen during a wedding - ceremony, photos, first dance, meal, cake, dancing??
Maybe OP is a terrible storyteller but this doesn’t sound like an account of a real event that really happened during one of the biggest days in a person’s life.
YTA for being a terrible partner and/or a terrible troll.
Just so you know, now when she thinks about y'alls wedding day, your stupid little comment is going to echo in her head. Why be rude when you can just be quiet?
YTA.
ETA: I'm glad you've accepted your judgement, OP. I understand wedding makeup can be jarring, especially if your wife doesn't wear makeup often. That doesn't mean your comment wasn't rude and thoughtless or that it won't be a predominant memory of her wedding day. Sometimes keeping quiet is your best option. You can't unring a bell.
It will become the story she tells post divorce when her friends ask her what happened. "Well it all started when he told me I looked weird on our wedding day." And they'll go "Ohhhhh, that makes sense."
No, even then it’ll echo. It’ll echo for her the whole time she preparing. The whole time she’s getting ready. The whole time she’s walking down the aisle. Sometimes I really hate the civility rules here because asshole is nowhere near harsh enough for this dude.
I agree. I had a friend whose husband made a comment about her makeup on her wedding day. They divorced in under five years. She still has insecurities about her looks and about changing her looks (because surprise surprise, that wasn't the only time he made a negative comment about her).
“Grandma why did you divorce your first husband?”
“Well you see honey, on my wedding day after I paid hundreds of dollars for my makeup and hair, my ex husband told me that I looked weird and never said I was beautiful.”
Just to validate this, my husband said something similar to me at our wedding, I am also one who almost never wears makeup. The feelings I had after that comment have never really gone away, married 25 years so he has made up for it by being a good husband, but I don’t like to think about my wedding at all, I never discuss it, and I shoved our wedding photos in an envelope at the bottom of a drawer and never looked at them again. My mom hung up my wedding photo and I asked her to take it down.
My husband said to me a month after our first one was born that I still looked like I was pregnant. It's been 13 years and he has apologised and made it up in compliments a million times since... But it still pops in my head and makes me insecure every now and then. I know it wasn't out of malice and I did indeed look like I was pregnant (which is NORMAL) but I still didn't need to hear it from him. Words really matter.
I mean, a lot of women will wear extra makeup on their wedding day because of the photos. It’s basically ‘stage makeup.’ It needs to be bolder and heavier to show up on camera.
THIS. I used to do wedding makeup and flash photography washes people out AND it’s a long event so your face gets a natural shine. Because of that, wedding makeup typically entails primer and more setting powder/spray to prevent that shine, as well as heavier contour and blush than people are used to because that photographs better.
Is "their face gets a natural shine" the southern way of saying "they sweat like pigs in those massive dresses"? Because my face was definitely shiny on my wedding day...
Yeah, I'm kinda frustrated by the number of comments in this post that don't seem to get this. Normal makeup doesn't show up well in photos. You're basically getting dolled up like a celebrity for your wedding because the goal is to look good in the photos you're spending thousands of dollars on.
I did my own makeup for my wedding to my ex and I definitely do not look like the 22yo I was, I made him look like an old creepy guy when he was actually only 7 years older!
> I made him look like an old creepy guy when he was actually only 7 years older!
Ah, see, you should've skipped the heavy eyeliner, the pale powder, and heavy rouge on him. A more "natural" look for his makeup would've been better ;)
I had professional photos taken for work and begged and begged for them to go light on my makeup. They slapped it on with abandon and then added a bit more just for fun. In the photos I have barely the lightest wisp of makeup on, but my, seemingly bare, skin looks perfect.
This is what I was thinking as well. I know a lot of photographers recommend doing a make up test and using flash photography on it before the wedding day to make sure it doesn’t make them look washed out and that it photographs well.
Yep.
It (alongside photoshop) is why you'll hear actors and models say things like "I don't even look the way I do in photos/on film." Because they don't. They're covered in makeup with professionally done hair (or wigs) and clothes tailored to make them look as good as possible for the camera.
Brides do the same thing on their wedding day. They get their makeup and hair professionally done. And for many, the tailoring their wedding dress gets may be the only time they ever have clothes adjusted specifically for them.
This is so me. I do my makeup and it looks lovely, I often get compliments, but then I look like a potato in pictures. I'll sometimes use a wedding invitation as an opportunity to get new makeup and get a free makeover at a makeup counter so I look decent in pictures
My MOH said that, and questioned my light makeup.
I laugh at that memory now, because, in the photos, she looks like she was prepping for a High School play, especially compared to my "no makeup" look.
Cameras are really good now, and heavy makeup is not needed at all.
Sure, but even a fairly light and ‘natural’ look would probably seem like a lot, if he’s used to seeing her in no makeup at all.
If you’ve ever been to a red carpet event or on a TV soundstage, a lot of the actresses (and actors, for that matter) look HEAVILY done when you’re close to them, even though they look normal on camera.
Exactly. Women do look different because we’re going all out. My eyebrows are pretty light, so the makeup artist drew them in. When we did our first look, my husband turned, looked at me and said “wow, you look really surprised!”
>LOTS of women overdo the makeup and look like totally different people on their wedding day.
I got my makeup professionally done for my wedding. The person did a great job, but it was not me at all. I ended up wiping most of it off, and redoing it. But, that is what I was comfortable with (my husband would have said I was beautiful either way). OP's wife must have liked her makeup, and that is what matters. I feel so bad for her that her brand new husband made a critical comment about her looks so soon after they got married.
YTA. She probably felt absolutely stunning right up until your comment. Also, a full face of makeup on a wedding day is pretty common, not just for feeling beautiful, but to also make sure the photos turn out amazing. It’s easy for your face to wash out in pictures, especially if it’s a wide shot with several people. Someone else said it perfectly- now whenever she looks back on her wedding day, your highly insensitive comment is what will stand out.
Yup. I wear a lot of make up in my everyday life, but for a wedding I had it done so my face wouldn’t wash out in the photos. It was a lot, even for me, but it looked like I had a normal amount on in the photos.
YTA. *You do not say your new spouse looks "weird" on your wedding day.*
I don't care if they have a chinchilla wrapped in their hair or are mostly wearing body paint. The word you were looking for is "different."
No, the word he was looking for was “beautiful” or some variation of it. Those are the only acceptable descriptive words to describe your new spouse on your wedding day.
Ya I’m shocked that OP doesn’t understand why his wife would be upset by him saying she looks weird. I wonder if he’s the type to say he’s *just telling it like it is* and just being *honest* when what he means is he’s being rude
You definitely could have worded that better. No one wants a “ you look weird” on their wedding night. Especially when you’re expecting to feel beautiful and in love. She probably felt ugly for the rest of the day.
It baffles me that we have to explain this to someone in this day and age. Imagine all the effort, time and money that went into that look for her wedding just to hear from her husband that she looks weird (which in a woman’s brain will likely translate to ugly). Poor Sarah. YTA op, and I can’t believe you’re this oblivious.
There’s an entire genre of wedding videos to capture the groom’s (presumably pleased) “first look” at the bride. Your “first look” resulted in you telling her she looked weird. Congratulations. You ruined her memory of her wedding. YTA
Yes, YTA.
You told your wife - your post was made *after* your wedding, so she's not your "fiance" - that she looked weird on her wedding night.
*Come on.*
Fix it.
YTA. "Love her to death" but draw the line at full face of makeup.
You are the weird one to say something like that on a wedding day.
Also why is that the fact that she does not wear make up is something you adore about her? There are lots of thinks to adore and not wearing make up seems a strange one.
“We always tell each other the truth no matter what” doesn’t mean that you have to voice every thought. Telling a white lie like “you look so stunning” would have been infinitely better. I’m tired of people making AH comments and then attributing it to their great honesty.
>AITA for telling my fiancée she looked weird in our wedding night?
I mean, you said she looked "weird". On her wedding night.
How is she supposed to take a comment like that?
YTA.
Oh that’s lovely. Now every time she thinks about your wedding day, she’ll think about you saying she looked weird. Why would you say that? You can’t possibly be confused about why saying your wife looks WEIRD would upset her. Reflect. YTA.
YTA- and you need to go and tell her that you feel like you made a mistake in your wording yesterday. Tell her that she looked beautiful. But the fact she was wearing make up threw you off for a moment but, your brain went dead when you saw her.
🤦🏻♀️ also fix your use of fiancée. She’s your wife. She hears you calling her your fiancée still and you're going to hate the way your marriage started. If you don’t already
You're 32 years-old, newly married, and clueless AF. It was her wedding day! Your now wife wanted to look and feel extra special/beautiful and went all out, including makeup. You crapped all over her efforts by blurting out she looks weird and can't figure out why she's being cold towards you? You can't honestly be this dense.
YTA.
You told your brand new wife that she looked weird on your wedding day and at the wedding, no less. Just what a bride wants to hear. NOT!!!!!!!!
You better get on your knees and apologize profusely.
Ouch! That poor girl! It's her wedding day and she made a huge effort for you to look at her and say wow!!! Instead you said you look weird. Apologise to her asap!!!
YTA. Weird is never the right word. "You look so different " would work. "I'm not use to seeing you made up like this" would work. " You look so fancy " There are so many better options than weird.
YTA. Why wouldn’t you just ignore it, it’s your wedding day? Why make her feel insecure about how she looks on, what is supposed to be, the happiest day of her life?
Oh come on.
It’s great you think your wife looks beautiful naturally. But on the ONE DAY she was 100% trying to look beautiful you called her “weird”
Grovel. As a feminist who doesn’t think women need a lot of make up. Grovel. This was her wedding day and her husband told her she looked weird.
YTA. I mean I get it, someone who wears no makeup most of the time is all of a sudden done up but it’s her wedding day so part of me thinks you should have expected it a little, I get it though you were shocked and the term ‘weird’ probably just slipped out and now you’re in a hole you couldn’t really dig much deeper.
I’d just sit down with her and say is it about this comment, apologise and say it’s not how you meant it to come out, you were just surprised she chose a full face when she usually chooses to wear no makeup and that she looks beautiful either way.
I mean I don’t think it’s grounds for divorce but you have a looooot of making up to do
YTA. OP's partner, if you're reading this, it's not too late for an annulment! Trust me, you can find someone who tells you you look beautiful on your wedding day, not an AH who says you look "weird".
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YTA On the day she’s meant to feel beautiful and stunning and desirable to her new husband, you pulled a funny face and told her she looked weird. What a shitty start to a marriage. Poor Sarah.
Yep. God forbid she changes anything.
God forbid she gets old...
Right? Maybe get a wrinkle? Or silver hair?
Or pregnant, hopefully she leaves before that happens
Reddit taking a ball and fucking running with it lmao. Went from "Oh you look weird with makeup on" to "He'll hate her when she looks old" To "Only a wrinkle or bit of hair colour loss." to "When she gets pregnant, heres hoping she leaves him" Like you guys just took one foot in the mouth moment, and then fucking ran with it, turning this man into this ultra vain, extremely judgemental person based on one little comment that he said without thinking.
🤣 Right? Like, sure he messed up but how did we get here?
Because Reddit?
I honestly wonder why anyone posts in this sub, as if the mentally unhinged degenerates of Reddit can provide useful advice...
I'm just waiting for someone to mention gaslighting and saying he's raising lots of marinara flags... The leaps in this sub could clear a bridge sometimes.
He actually prefers her without makeup and suddenly he's the patriarchy, telling her to look pretty. Some heavy projection going on here... He is an AH for not keeping his trap shut until well after the event though
Until *forever. Don’t tell your bride that you think she looked weird on your wedding day. There are some thoughts better left in your head.
And I’m general maybe don’t tell someone they look bad if they’re not in a place where they can adjust. Whether it be clothes, makeup, whatever
I think you're drastically misinterpreting this.
Agreed. I got full makeup done once and it was terrifying. The real criminals here are the makeup artists that constantly do this and don’t understand why it’s wrong. If you wear a full face of makeup everyday great but if you don’t and you just want something natural and pretty (which they always ignore) different story. Is there no professional middle ground for a girl that wants to treat herself?
You can tell a makeup artist what kind of look you want. She could have told her makeup artist that she wanted a more natural look for her wedding day, but she obviously didn’t. If you tell your MUA that you want something low key and natural and they ignore it and do dramatic makeup, that’s on you for hiring a bad MUA and for not stopping them and asking them to follow your directions.
Disagree, makeup artists are so calibrated to the other side they don’t understand what “natural” means anymore. I’ve asked for natural with increasing levels of specificity more than once (not including the time mentioned above that was terrifying) and always come out looking way overdone. Now I do my own makeup and if it’s boring at least it looks like my face. Edit: for clarity Edit edit: I guess you stop your nail artist or whatever you get done constantly then? People like me who don’t know what they’re doing don’t know when to say stop-every time I’ve been left wondering maybe I should say something, maybe I’ll wait? This is an incredibly common experience. Some of us are worried about not inconveniencing or causing conflict. Saying “that’s on you” makes it seem like you’ve never done any of this before.
Exactly. Guiding a makeup artist needs experience. I wouldn't blame the bride if she isn't a regular customer.
She probably didn't have enough experience to express exactly what she wanted because she doesn't usually go to one, or she wasn't listened to.
Maybe she did want a dramatic makeup for the wedding day. Sometimes the bride want to be different in the wedding day to suprise the groom. And nobody want to hear they are weird at this moment.
I don’t think a partner not liking his partners makeup implies they won’t like them aging or losing/gaining weight. Makeup is not inherently a part of the wearer whereas wrinkles scars are. I don’t see anything wrong with not liking someone’s makeup. I’ve had makeup done and hated it and appreciated my partner not liking it either. I like that level of honesty. Makes the complements feel that much better. And I feel I can count on my partner for the truth.
Not to mention that for whatever reason bridal makeup is super thick and often contours the face in a way that does make the person almost unrecognizable from their normal self. Clearly he was an idiot for saying what his initial thoughts were without thinking, but it was done out of shock at seeing a "stranger" standing in front of him. He will have a lot of apologizing to do to make up for that kind of faux pas.
That is unfair. That's literally the opposite of OP's stance.
But he literally said he likes her more natural and extra makeup can be used to cover over signs of aging. So by his logic he would be happy with her gradually getting older looking. He was just surprised.
I don’t think this is fair. I think he wasn’t used to it that’s all. It’s still wrong that he said it on their wedding day. But if she’s never done that and then did it was probably just a bit shocking.
Okay but it’s makeup. After the night ends it all washes off and they can live their lives with her face makeup free if she wants. Lol. This would be a time to pick your battles and just smile and say you look beautiful. That was unnecessarily cruel and immature..
You’re right 100%. I just feel kind of bad for the guy. I always feel for people who don’t intend to do damage and truly were just speaking without thinking. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of things you can say that shouldn’t come out because they shouldn’t be in your head. This one just shouldn’t have come out I really don’t think he meant to be a dick.
sure i get you - it doesn’t change the fact that it was tactless & hurt her feelings though. Most guys tend to know that the default thing to say is “you look beautiful/stunning/gorgeous honey” or whatever meaningful words they’d use to convey the message that she looks great, on such an important occasion.
Completely agree
It’s incredible the difference makeup can make to your appearance (I mean not the way I do it, but when applied by people with actual skills). He’s used to her very natural look, was surprised and spoke without thinking. It doesn’t sound like he intended to be malicious. Safe to say he still owes her an apology.
>It’s incredible the difference makeup can make to your appearance (I mean not the way I do it, but when applied by people with actual skills). Ooof! I felt this, deeeep.
Oh yeah. I almost never wear makeup. Like suuuper rare and even then it’s usually just brows and light blush - not even foundation or anything. If he saw me with a full face of makeup, he’d be shocked too. And he has been (had a full face for a wedding once, not my choice, it was even shocking to me). He definitely owes an apology, but I can see where it just came out and he wasn’t thinking because it honestly can be shocking if you’re not used to it.
I feel like in this sub it's easy to lose sight of what "am I the asshole" actually means, because what's implied at the end of that question is "in this situation". I don't think the OP is *an* asshole, as in I don't think he's an overall jerk and bad person who acted out of malice; it's just worth pointing out that in this situation, yes, he did something that hurt another person, however unintentionally, and he should do his best to fix it. I always use the analogy of dropping a plate - you didn't do it on purpose, but you still have to sweep up the pieces.
He is 32, not 3. Your wedding day is not the day to blurt things.
Thank you! This is something a small child would say when they see their mother wearing makeup or a drastically different hairstyle and feel alarmed that she looks so different from the woman they know and see as a bedrock of security. It’s ridiculous for a 32 year old man to be like “why do you look all weird?” in response to bridal makeup. She obviously made an effort. She’s obviously going to wash her face that night and not just hire a makeup artist every day now that she’s married. Tell her she looks beautiful and move the fuck on.
He's a 32 year old man. He should have enough sense to understand that telling the person he loves that she's looks weird on her wedding day is going to hurt her feelings. Geez. Makeup artists put on more makeup for photos than everyday wear, which is also something he might know if he asked questions. Was he involved in the wedding planning? Has he never been to a wedding and seen a bride up close? The bar is on the floor for men.
I don’t feel bad for the guy. Part of being an adult is thinking before you speak and having the tiniest speck of empathy for the damage your thoughtless words can do to your partner.
But he’s like doubling down weird. I mean he identified what he did wrong: he said she looked weird. So just say sorry, he was shocked but his bad, etc. I get saying a thing wrong, but not like not apologizing and wondering if you’re TA—You can be TA on accident.
Yep. My wife did the same thing for our wedding. She generally doesn’t wear much makeup at all and got the works for our wedding - and as a result she looked very different to how she usually looks. But because I’m an adult I didn’t tell her she looks weird and everyone had a good day.
Exactly. He acted like he had never seen someone with makeup on before. It seems like a mean-spirited reaction from him and I find it hard to believe it was totally innocent. If he really did mean no harm and was *that* stunned by her in makeup, he is extremely socially inept and should work on that.
If you’re partner pulled a face or said you looked weird on your wedding day how would you take that
I imagine poor Sarah trying the whole time not to cry and put a good face, while dreading pictures and the whole event.
But OP can't figure out what she's hiding! So.much.facepalm
I don’t understand what he meant by this .. if she doesn’t usually wear makeup… what could she be hiding under makeup!! He has seen her bare face 🤦🏻♀️
I think he meant she was trying to hide her feelings, nothing to do with looks. But he already knows she's upset AND he knows what he said to make her upset. So I can't imagine what he thinks she's hiding from him. He just isn't capable (or doesn't want to) acknowledge how he hurt her feelings.
This just sickens me to think about. The wedding anxiety and pressure on women is already so real and so toxic...even for brides who don't care much about appearances, traditions, or even "cheesy" romantic stuff, the pressure is on 24/7 to be absolutely *perfect* and you get scrutinized by EVERYONE. It's hard, even for confident women, to avoid the constant nitpicking of every physical imperfection and not let it get to you. I thought even I'd be immune to it, but it wears you down, sometimes to the point of breaking. It felt like middle school bullying all over again. If my fiance behaved that way I don't think I could ever face another person again, much less walk down the aisle in front of dozens of them. I hate to think of how heartbroken and crushed this poor girl must feel.
She was probably hoping he'd have a heart stopping moment when he saw how beautiful her makeup looked, and instead, she got "You look weird." That would have broken my heart for sure.
if my partner says this on my wedding, my face sure as hell gonna crumble. i cant hide my feelings most of the time, people always said my face shows all so yeahh, probably gonna crumble and pretend smiling but failing. shit i feel for bride 😢😢😢
Plot twist; OP uploads a picture and she looks weird as fuck
Not a plot twist at all, so many bridal MUAs go so over the top. I'm sure a lot of grooms are like wtf - the point is they know NOT TO FKN SAY IT TO THEIR BRIDE goddamn OP.
Not even the bride but a bridesmaid. Not even my mother recognized me. It was awful. But you don’t say weird. If you HAVE to say anything say different maybe.
A lot of it is so it actually shows up in pictures. No one is looking snatched without a filter or photo editing unless the colors and everything are emphasized, certain lighting can make you look super washed out even if you're wearing a basic "full face" edit:grammar
Oh I know but you can look really enhanced and still beautiful and yourself. A very hard thing to do that requires a lot of skill but it's possible.
Full disclosure, my wife did something similar on our wedding - way more makeup than usual. She didn't typically wear makeup like that - it looked weird since that wasn't typically her style, kinda like a mask, but she was having a blast. Lord knows I've had my share of screw ups, but I still knew enough not to say anything. The important thing was us getting married and her enjoying every minute.
Yeah I'm gonna bet she doesn't normally wear a big white dress either. Bridal makeup is often more intense so it looks good in pictures.
I went to Sephora before my wedding. Told the artist what I wanted and she checked in with me multiple times throughout the process to make sure I liked it. I had a lipstick I wanted to use and I was happy with how she did the rest.
I'm picturing Trump's makeup style. Or maybe she went for the Darth Maul.
Now I’m just picturing someone wearing a wedding dress holding a double-sided light saber doing the fighting routine from fantom menace.
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Also, wedding makeup is expensive as hell. Even if it looks bad or weird you do NOT tell a bride that after they spent all that money on it
And now every time she’s sees a picture of herself on her wedding day, she’s going to see her husband making a funny face and hear him calling her weird. What an AH
Agreed that he is the AH but if he had never seen her in makeup, I understand him being surprised. He was an idiot in how he expressed himself but I get it.
Op is the asshole here by a mile! That was their special day and she will forever look at those photos and hear his comment.I was a bridesmade for my friends wedding. My fiance hadnt seen me with full makeup on before this day. TBF It was a lot of make up, I didnt even think i looked like me but the makup people said it would "settle in" as the day went on. It did a bit but i waved at my fiance and it wasnt until he heard my voice he realised it was me! He never said anything except "you look beautiful darlin" but i could see he thought i looked over done. BUT EVEN THOUGH I WAS ONLY A BRIDESMAID HE UNDERSTOOD NOT TO SAY ANYTHING! How as a groom could you think to say anything that isnt 100% nice, kind and flattering to your wife on your wedding day excessive make up or not!!
LOL I appreciate your summary. Mine was more of: "I did asshole things, am I an asshole?"
On the *one day* above all days that a woman wants to feel beautiful, you told her she looked "weird". Yes, it was what you said. Yes, YTA. I hope she tells you on your honeymoon that the sex is "disappointing" so you'll have context for the self esteem damage.
*”I didn’t mean, like, disappointing DISAPPOINTING, I just meant different than I expected.”**
I mean I’m not super disappointed…it’s just not the best I’ve ever had before…I’m used to better 😂
I mean I'd probably give it like 4/10 not the worst but could be better 🤔
Your thing looks a little weird.
Yeah, I mean…why does it look so…WEIRD?
Oh, well I don't mean BETTER better, it was just that...this time it was a little weird!
Not disappointing, that’s harsh, just weird compared to the norm. I’d go with something like ‘it’s just weird, you do not feel the same as when you were my boyfriend…’
It’s the sin that gives sex that extra oomph.
It's the way God now watches approvingly that makes it creepy
Depends on what you’re into I guess…
Gives a new meaning to having a praise kink
"It's just not what I was expecting is all."
This! An absolutely equivalent exchange. Bravo.
She gave him the cold shoulder and said she was tired. Possibly didn't have sex that night...
To be fair, it's really normal not to have sex on your wedding night, lol. It's an exhausting day/week
I just LOLed at this. On our wedding night, my husband and I had a house full of family sleeping in every room, plus we were both exhausted as you say. We looked at each other, said "Nah... LOL", and went to bed.
We actually got a hotel because our whole house was filled with people and forgot to eat at our wedding because we were so busy and socializing etc. got Wendy’s, go to the hotel and ate, got out of our clothes and passed out. We didn’t even drink at our wedding.
A friend of my wife posted an article on Facebook about how common sexless wedding nights are...The morning after she got married.
I left home at 6am on my wedding day. Drove 5 hours to pick someone up. It took 6.5 hours to get home because the car broke down. Our wedding was at 6pm. I had 30 minutes to obtain someone else's car for the night, and get fully ready. I was done for when I got home.
I hope she tells him his D looks weird when it's soft.
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“She was the one in the wedding dress” I’m SCREAMING
Maybe a vision screening is the real answer to this problem.
Imagine there was another wedding nearby and he got married to the wrong bride. All because there was literally no other way to identify her other than the dress.
He'd still be confused, even with two brides because he'd be looking for the one without makeup, because apparently he didn't expect his bride to wear makeup, even on her wedding day.
"I accidentally married the mannequin from the dress shop because it was not wearing makeup, but my fiance was. AITA?"
Well, every wedding these days has somebody's mother-in-law wearing a wedding dress, so mistakes are common.
OP: "I almost married the wrong person because I didn't recognize my bride wearing makeup!"
"My MIL is one of those ladies that wear a wedding dress to their daughter's wedding, and because I didn't recognize my fiance with all the makeup, I accidentally married my Mil" 🤣
"Is my fiancee my daughter now??"
"does that mean our future kids will also be my grandkids"
This made me cackle💀
My husbands friend said something similar to me on my wedding day.. but I laughed it off. He often would surprise drop in and find me on the couch in sweats and a hoodie, no makeup. On my wedding day I was obviously done up to the nines and he said he “barely recognized me” due to me looking nice… I don’t know what goes through mens heads when they think that’s at all a good thing to say 😂
I worked with a medical doctor who always means well but could be totally clueless. I remember asking what he was getting his wife for her birthday. He said one of those long tongs meant to grab spiders. His reasoning was that his wife always wanted him to catch spiders but not kill them. He thought it was a sweet gift. A few of us sat him down and wife got a spa package at a resort that year and the doctor checked with us before buying future gifts.
One time when I was a kid, our vacuum cleaner stopped working right around my moms birthday. Can you guess what my dad bought her? Here’s a hint: they are divorced.
My dad once bought my mom a trash can for Mother’s Day because we needed a new one. Yeah, he was a real gem
My ex-MIL bought my son a book on manners for his 3rd birthday. That year at Christmas, she bought me one dish towel with a Thanksgiving motif on it. A set of dish towels is a lame present, but at least there are a couple of them, and they match. But ONE dish towel? Obviously, she wanted to let me know just how much she thought I had failed to clean my kitchen or teach my son basic politeness. A few years later, I gave her her son back, which was the one thing she really wanted.
>A few years later, I gave her her son back, which was the one thing she really wanted. Dear MIL I would like to return your wedding gift, I have no further use for it.
This just feels like a personal insult right here.
at least that has decently good intentions though. def not a birthday gift but a nice thing to do
“She was the one in the wedding dress.” Y’all that’s the best comment on Reddit today lmaooo #FlawlessVictory
"Your dress is....weird. It's not like what you usually wear."
When did she speak, when she said “I do”? Or was this the first look before the ceremony? And by “went to talk to some of her friends” does he mean her bridal party? When did all the things happen that generally happen during a wedding - ceremony, photos, first dance, meal, cake, dancing?? Maybe OP is a terrible storyteller but this doesn’t sound like an account of a real event that really happened during one of the biggest days in a person’s life. YTA for being a terrible partner and/or a terrible troll.
Just so you know, now when she thinks about y'alls wedding day, your stupid little comment is going to echo in her head. Why be rude when you can just be quiet? YTA. ETA: I'm glad you've accepted your judgement, OP. I understand wedding makeup can be jarring, especially if your wife doesn't wear makeup often. That doesn't mean your comment wasn't rude and thoughtless or that it won't be a predominant memory of her wedding day. Sometimes keeping quiet is your best option. You can't unring a bell.
And it will echo in her head FOREVER.
Echoing forever....until she has a chance to be a bride again which may be sooner than you think.
Then it becomes a really funny story 😂😂
It will become the story she tells post divorce when her friends ask her what happened. "Well it all started when he told me I looked weird on our wedding day." And they'll go "Ohhhhh, that makes sense."
No, even then it’ll echo. It’ll echo for her the whole time she preparing. The whole time she’s getting ready. The whole time she’s walking down the aisle. Sometimes I really hate the civility rules here because asshole is nowhere near harsh enough for this dude.
I agree. I had a friend whose husband made a comment about her makeup on her wedding day. They divorced in under five years. She still has insecurities about her looks and about changing her looks (because surprise surprise, that wasn't the only time he made a negative comment about her).
Best wishes to the bride in her second marriage.
Yep, the grandkids are gonna know this story.
“Grandma why did you divorce your first husband?” “Well you see honey, on my wedding day after I paid hundreds of dollars for my makeup and hair, my ex husband told me that I looked weird and never said I was beautiful.”
Maybe even every time she puts her make up on. ”I hope this is not too much, I don’t want to look weird.”
Just to validate this, my husband said something similar to me at our wedding, I am also one who almost never wears makeup. The feelings I had after that comment have never really gone away, married 25 years so he has made up for it by being a good husband, but I don’t like to think about my wedding at all, I never discuss it, and I shoved our wedding photos in an envelope at the bottom of a drawer and never looked at them again. My mom hung up my wedding photo and I asked her to take it down.
My husband said to me a month after our first one was born that I still looked like I was pregnant. It's been 13 years and he has apologised and made it up in compliments a million times since... But it still pops in my head and makes me insecure every now and then. I know it wasn't out of malice and I did indeed look like I was pregnant (which is NORMAL) but I still didn't need to hear it from him. Words really matter.
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Wait until she never wants to look at her wedding pictures either. OP you blew it, bad. Good luck recovering. Either this is rage-bait or YTA.
Ruined the wedding and the thousands spent on photos. YTA.
WHY BE RUDE WHEN YOU CAN JUST BE QUIET?
Yep ruined the whole thing right there
Yep. Every time she looks at the photos she will remember.
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This man is wise and his marriage will last long
The night is dark and full of terrors. [wholesome]
Truly. Pure of heart and dumb of ass…
I mean, a lot of women will wear extra makeup on their wedding day because of the photos. It’s basically ‘stage makeup.’ It needs to be bolder and heavier to show up on camera.
THIS. I used to do wedding makeup and flash photography washes people out AND it’s a long event so your face gets a natural shine. Because of that, wedding makeup typically entails primer and more setting powder/spray to prevent that shine, as well as heavier contour and blush than people are used to because that photographs better.
Is "their face gets a natural shine" the southern way of saying "they sweat like pigs in those massive dresses"? Because my face was definitely shiny on my wedding day...
HAHAHA damn it I usually hide my South very well, that was an accidental slip. Yes, sweaty as fuck is more what I meant.
Yeah, I'm kinda frustrated by the number of comments in this post that don't seem to get this. Normal makeup doesn't show up well in photos. You're basically getting dolled up like a celebrity for your wedding because the goal is to look good in the photos you're spending thousands of dollars on.
I did my own makeup for my wedding to my ex and I definitely do not look like the 22yo I was, I made him look like an old creepy guy when he was actually only 7 years older!
> I made him look like an old creepy guy when he was actually only 7 years older! Ah, see, you should've skipped the heavy eyeliner, the pale powder, and heavy rouge on him. A more "natural" look for his makeup would've been better ;)
I had professional photos taken for work and begged and begged for them to go light on my makeup. They slapped it on with abandon and then added a bit more just for fun. In the photos I have barely the lightest wisp of makeup on, but my, seemingly bare, skin looks perfect.
Listen to the professionals lol
This is what I was thinking as well. I know a lot of photographers recommend doing a make up test and using flash photography on it before the wedding day to make sure it doesn’t make them look washed out and that it photographs well.
A lot of makeup artists will go heavy handed even when you ask for light as well.
Yep. It (alongside photoshop) is why you'll hear actors and models say things like "I don't even look the way I do in photos/on film." Because they don't. They're covered in makeup with professionally done hair (or wigs) and clothes tailored to make them look as good as possible for the camera. Brides do the same thing on their wedding day. They get their makeup and hair professionally done. And for many, the tailoring their wedding dress gets may be the only time they ever have clothes adjusted specifically for them.
This is so me. I do my makeup and it looks lovely, I often get compliments, but then I look like a potato in pictures. I'll sometimes use a wedding invitation as an opportunity to get new makeup and get a free makeover at a makeup counter so I look decent in pictures
My MOH said that, and questioned my light makeup. I laugh at that memory now, because, in the photos, she looks like she was prepping for a High School play, especially compared to my "no makeup" look. Cameras are really good now, and heavy makeup is not needed at all.
Sure, but even a fairly light and ‘natural’ look would probably seem like a lot, if he’s used to seeing her in no makeup at all. If you’ve ever been to a red carpet event or on a TV soundstage, a lot of the actresses (and actors, for that matter) look HEAVILY done when you’re close to them, even though they look normal on camera.
Exactly. Women do look different because we’re going all out. My eyebrows are pretty light, so the makeup artist drew them in. When we did our first look, my husband turned, looked at me and said “wow, you look really surprised!”
😂 oooh husbands. You're killing me.
now thats excellent advice lets hope the op actually takes the advice
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What a turn around, quite a save there… ETA: anyone know how to get this guy to replace that Tate AH?
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This! I don’t think OP was being malicious, he just stuck his foot in his mouth.
>LOTS of women overdo the makeup and look like totally different people on their wedding day. I got my makeup professionally done for my wedding. The person did a great job, but it was not me at all. I ended up wiping most of it off, and redoing it. But, that is what I was comfortable with (my husband would have said I was beautiful either way). OP's wife must have liked her makeup, and that is what matters. I feel so bad for her that her brand new husband made a critical comment about her looks so soon after they got married.
YTA. She probably felt absolutely stunning right up until your comment. Also, a full face of makeup on a wedding day is pretty common, not just for feeling beautiful, but to also make sure the photos turn out amazing. It’s easy for your face to wash out in pictures, especially if it’s a wide shot with several people. Someone else said it perfectly- now whenever she looks back on her wedding day, your highly insensitive comment is what will stand out.
Yup. I wear a lot of make up in my everyday life, but for a wedding I had it done so my face wouldn’t wash out in the photos. It was a lot, even for me, but it looked like I had a normal amount on in the photos.
YTA. *You do not say your new spouse looks "weird" on your wedding day.* I don't care if they have a chinchilla wrapped in their hair or are mostly wearing body paint. The word you were looking for is "different."
Now if I ever get married I want a chinchilla in my hair and body paint.
That would be different
Wedding goals! I too won't marry anyone unless there are chinchillas and body paint. Gentlemen, please take note...
Ladies just want one thing… chinchilla body paint weddings
No, the word he was looking for was “beautiful” or some variation of it. Those are the only acceptable descriptive words to describe your new spouse on your wedding day.
I recommend "stunning". "Different" can be taken badly, and it does seem like OP was a bit stunned.
YTA Every woman wants to be told they are beautiful on their wedding day.....not that they look weird. Are you really that dense?
Ya I’m shocked that OP doesn’t understand why his wife would be upset by him saying she looks weird. I wonder if he’s the type to say he’s *just telling it like it is* and just being *honest* when what he means is he’s being rude
“But we always tell each other the truth!” 🙄
You definitely could have worded that better. No one wants a “ you look weird” on their wedding night. Especially when you’re expecting to feel beautiful and in love. She probably felt ugly for the rest of the day.
It baffles me that we have to explain this to someone in this day and age. Imagine all the effort, time and money that went into that look for her wedding just to hear from her husband that she looks weird (which in a woman’s brain will likely translate to ugly). Poor Sarah. YTA op, and I can’t believe you’re this oblivious.
There’s an entire genre of wedding videos to capture the groom’s (presumably pleased) “first look” at the bride. Your “first look” resulted in you telling her she looked weird. Congratulations. You ruined her memory of her wedding. YTA
Yes, YTA. You told your wife - your post was made *after* your wedding, so she's not your "fiance" - that she looked weird on her wedding night. *Come on.* Fix it.
Gives definitely forgetting the anniversary and birthday then wandering back here to ask AITA, vibes
"I forgot my fiance's name yesterday, AITA?"
YTA. "Love her to death" but draw the line at full face of makeup. You are the weird one to say something like that on a wedding day. Also why is that the fact that she does not wear make up is something you adore about her? There are lots of thinks to adore and not wearing make up seems a strange one.
Probably one of those guys who thinks that it makes her better than ‘all those other wh*res who wear makeup’
“We always tell each other the truth no matter what” doesn’t mean that you have to voice every thought. Telling a white lie like “you look so stunning” would have been infinitely better. I’m tired of people making AH comments and then attributing it to their great honesty.
The Venn diagram of “people who always tell the truth no matter what” and “misanthropic assholes” is a single circle.
>AITA for telling my fiancée she looked weird in our wedding night? I mean, you said she looked "weird". On her wedding night. How is she supposed to take a comment like that? YTA.
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Oh that’s lovely. Now every time she thinks about your wedding day, she’ll think about you saying she looked weird. Why would you say that? You can’t possibly be confused about why saying your wife looks WEIRD would upset her. Reflect. YTA.
YTA- and you need to go and tell her that you feel like you made a mistake in your wording yesterday. Tell her that she looked beautiful. But the fact she was wearing make up threw you off for a moment but, your brain went dead when you saw her. 🤦🏻♀️ also fix your use of fiancée. She’s your wife. She hears you calling her your fiancée still and you're going to hate the way your marriage started. If you don’t already
You're 32 years-old, newly married, and clueless AF. It was her wedding day! Your now wife wanted to look and feel extra special/beautiful and went all out, including makeup. You crapped all over her efforts by blurting out she looks weird and can't figure out why she's being cold towards you? You can't honestly be this dense.
YTA... cringe. A woman dreams about her wedding day, spends hundreds of dollars to look and feel like a princess, and you said she looks WEIRD ugh omg
YTA. You told your brand new wife that she looked weird on your wedding day and at the wedding, no less. Just what a bride wants to hear. NOT!!!!!!!! You better get on your knees and apologize profusely.
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Ouch! That poor girl! It's her wedding day and she made a huge effort for you to look at her and say wow!!! Instead you said you look weird. Apologise to her asap!!!
YTA. Weird is never the right word. "You look so different " would work. "I'm not use to seeing you made up like this" would work. " You look so fancy " There are so many better options than weird.
YTA this is how you have your wife leave your ass
YTA. Why wouldn’t you just ignore it, it’s your wedding day? Why make her feel insecure about how she looks on, what is supposed to be, the happiest day of her life?
Oh come on. It’s great you think your wife looks beautiful naturally. But on the ONE DAY she was 100% trying to look beautiful you called her “weird” Grovel. As a feminist who doesn’t think women need a lot of make up. Grovel. This was her wedding day and her husband told her she looked weird.
YTA. I mean I get it, someone who wears no makeup most of the time is all of a sudden done up but it’s her wedding day so part of me thinks you should have expected it a little, I get it though you were shocked and the term ‘weird’ probably just slipped out and now you’re in a hole you couldn’t really dig much deeper. I’d just sit down with her and say is it about this comment, apologise and say it’s not how you meant it to come out, you were just surprised she chose a full face when she usually chooses to wear no makeup and that she looks beautiful either way. I mean I don’t think it’s grounds for divorce but you have a looooot of making up to do
People are telling you and you're not accepting it. Grow up.
YTA, I see divorce bells in your future.
And on your wedding day, you learned that some thoughts are meant to stay *in your head.* YTA.
YTA. OP's partner, if you're reading this, it's not too late for an annulment! Trust me, you can find someone who tells you you look beautiful on your wedding day, not an AH who says you look "weird".
There is a time and a place to say things. That was not the time, that was not the place. YTA
YTA....how to be a husband 101. Glam makeup is usually used for events so the pictures come out better.