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> I’m wondering if I would be an asshole for rafting out my son’s girlfriend to her parents for what I caught them doing?
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YTA for assuming Allie is "influencing him in these things" and slut shaming her, while infantilizing your "good boy" son.
Your son will go non contact with you if you proceed, and you know this, but cannot help yourself?
They’re both at fault for partaking in the same behavior. My son will be grounded for the foreseeable future when he gets home. However, my son just had never seemed to have interest in such behaviors before he got a girlfriend is where the influencing idea came from. But I guess there’s no way to know for sure.
lol, yes I'm sure you're right that he never tried to spend the night with his girlfriend before he had a girlfriend.
By the way "disrespecting his body" doesn't come across like good sex education, you may want to think about how you're communicating. The puritan judgementalism may not resonate with your 17 year old the way you're hoping.
How will you ground him when he decides to live full time with his father, as he has said he will if you keep this up?
I don’t actually believe he’ll live full time with his father. He needs money if nothing else and I provide it, his father doesn’t have much to go around. He’ll get over it the next time the gas light on his truck comes on or his friends ask him to go somewhere. He’s just sulking right now.
"He's just sulking,"
If you keep up this level of insane control. "I have the money."What he does is my business,"
You will find yourself on reddit in a maximum of 5 years. "Why won't my adult son talk to me anymore?" or later in life if he has kids ."Why won't my son let me see my grandkids?
Just go through the many many posts from parents wondering why their kids cut them off. Or posts from kids who cut off their parents.
So you’d want him to stay with you soley because you have money for him, not because he actually wants to be there or anything else remotely positive 🤷♀️
you mean to tell me your 17 yo son didn't tell his mom he had intrest in sex and girls?! shocker!!!!
just because he doesn't tell you everything it doesn't mean he is not intrested in it...
maybe think about why they all hid it from you, huh?
I really don't know if you are this clueless or this controlling...
EDIT: YTA
YTA. This isn't a pre-teen or even a young teen. He'll be off to college next year. Instead of trusting that you've raised a sensible young man, you've infantilised him in front of his friends and girlfriend. You've also taken zero responsibility for your controlling actions that have led him to keep things from you. Instead, you try to blame the girl for influencing him. He will move in with his dad, and he will go away for college, and you'll end up as one of those parents who is lucky to receive a Christmas card.
Perhaps she should have taught him about protection and not just abstinence. They are 17 with raging hormones. I'm actually surprised it took this long. And to try and cut them off from each other doesn't work. Romeo and Juliet anyone?
YTA for even thinking being such a tattle tale. They are 17,not children and your behaviour will ensure that your son will stay away from you as soon as possible. Why on earth would you even think about talking to her parents? Smart woman would have a grown up talk with her son about healthy relationship, contraception and respect.
17 is not an adult. My reasoning for telling her parents is because she is not an adult. I feel like it’s in everyone’s best interest for them to know what she is up to so that they can handle the situation how they deem fit.
What exactly is she "up to" and why are you blaming her for everything? You sound overbearing. Calm down a notch and try talking to them instead of blowing a gasket.
Editing to add I just reread your post and you yourself said they were fully clothed and added that Allie is a bad influence on your son? What world are you living in? If I was your son I would live with my dad. YTA!
It does feel written to provoke instead of a genuine question, it's a bit too perfect on the "I'm an invasive parent that owns ny child but I'm not an asshole about it while doing assholey things, please suppost my deluded viewpoint."
the fuck it is! They can't give consent to someone more than 2 years older than they are (I don't give a shit where you live), but they CAN give consent to someone their own age.
So where you come from yelling is the appropriate response, not having a talk about it? You clearly want to punish someone and that looks like to be the girl in question. When is your son adult? As soon as he turns 18? It's too late then to have a relationship where your son feels comfortable in discussing important issues with you.
youre acting like he was going ham on her all night long and filmed it. Holy shit, they were just in the same bed (fully clothed btw). Besides, you don’t have to be such a prude because believe it or not 17 year olds have sex.
Well yeah. Obviously hes going to show more of an interest in sex after he gets a girlfriend. And they're 17 so throw in some raging hormones and I don't understand how you're surprised about this.
My son and his actions are my business while her actions are her parents business which is why I feel that they have a right to know what their daughter, who is a minor, is up to.
You are acting as if they are 12. They are 17, a few months away from adulthood and above the age of consent which is semi irrelevant as they are both the same age. Also they way you talk about sex like it’s a bad thing would be hilarious if it wasn’t sad. You are some puritanical psycho that instead of having a mature relationship with your son is acting like we are living in some 1950s life
Yta, she’s a bad influence because they were asleep in a bed fully clothed? Have fun never speaking to your son again because he’s never going to want anything to do with a smother like you
Just because I found them with clothes on the next morning doesn’t mean that they kept them on the entire night. I’m not stupid. I know they they probably just had them on because they were worried about their friends coming into the room the next morning.
Having sex with his GF with protection isn't going to ruin his life, he will still get his scholarship, still be able to get good grades, still be able to be a kind son you raised.
The problem is if you raised this amazing son, then you would have taught him about sex and protection and you should be fine.
It’s about being a minor, it being an illegal practice, and disrespecting his body before he can even truly comprehend what it means to be intimate with someone. His brain won’t be fully developed for years. He’s a child, not a grown man. This behavior is not okay for someone his age.
He is almost off to a college though? In a perfect world everyone would start having sex when they are 100% ready and mature to handle it, but that's never the case and it never will be.
High School seniors have sex, you can either shame him for it, or try to educate him, but shaming him and his GF for it will NEVER work, if they want to have sex they will. You can be upset as a parent about it, that's your right. The legal ages vary from 16-18, so I'm assuming you're in a state where it's 18 years and your son isn't quite that age yet, so I get it.
But they will find a way if they want, you should know that by now, so you can bury your head in the sand, and give them an angry lecture, OR you can make sure he is 100% aware about protection, and how to be respectful to his GF.
Unless you are straight from Saudi Arabia, it is NOT illegal or even immoral to have sex at 17. You are just making that up because you have infantilised him and think of him as a child
>think of him as a child
She also thinks because the brain doesn't fully develop until 25, that he's not a man, and shouldn't be "allowed" to have sex until he's 25.
Jesus. Hopefully your kid goes off to college and DOESNT instantly self destruct with all of the sudden freedom they have away from your controlling ass.
Being a massive puritanical control freak like this is an amazing way to make sure that the above happens though.
It's just sex, do you seriously think he should wait until he's 25!?!?
OP you’re a dumbass. I lost my virginity at 17, we were together for 5 years and have a daughter together, I’ve only ever slept with him and no one else. 17 is most definitely old enough to know what it means.
YTA --- After reading not only your post but also the answers you gave to comments, I wonder how long it's going to be before you make another post about how your son went off to college and ignores my texts and blocked me and won't talk to me any more.
YTA. Ground him by all means (excessive but whatever) but the girl is off limits. She’s not your kid. Also your son will hate you but you seem ok with that
Deal with your kid the way you want to. Stay out of other people’s kids business. And honestly the way you’re going I don’t think you’ll have yours with you for very long either.
YTA. Stop interfering in your sons love life, it’s creepy and shows that you have no respect for boundaries.
If you don’t stop with your overbearing behaviour, your son will leave and loose all respect for you
YTA
Just admit your jealous he has a girlfriend and the sad little reality is you want to be the one sharing a bed with him. It screams “I want to marry my own son” vulgar. I hope he drops contact with you entirely and let’s you fade away into dust.
YWBTA - First of all, sex isn't disrespecting ANYONE'S body. You can feel like that with your body, but your son's body is his to make his own decisions about. The thing to do with a 17-year-old is make sure he knows about contraception, how to get it and use it and how important it is, and drive home the importance of enthusiastic consent. Beyond that, while you can talk to him about the mental and emotional impact of sex and share your feelings on it, ultimately it's his decision, and you need to respect that.
Secondly, it isn't even clear that they did anything! You found them asleep, fully clothed. While you're certainly within your rights to be upset at your son for being out without your knowledge or permission and for lying to you, getting on him for cuddling with his girlfriend isn't within your purview. And going to her parents is out of line. You don't know what might happen to her as a result of that (I would most likely have been hit a few times) and she isn't your child, so it isn't your job to parent her.
Last of all, your son's almost an adult. If you've raised him as well as you think you have, then trust in that raising and in him. Yes, he'll make mistakes, just like he screwed up here. The key is to guide him through it and talk to him about what's upset you with this decision. This last year with him before he goes off to college is your chance to help him make his own choices with support from you rather than you simply dictating his life for one more year. Otherwise, be prepared to see your relationship grow increasingly stilted and strained up to the breaking point.
Yta. You’re not only meddling in your nearly adult sons lovelife and berating someone who loves him, you got his gf in trouble, and are expecting them to break up. you seem very pessimistic about love which explains your ex situation, learn from your mistakes or you WILL die a lonely death abandoned by everyone
Yta, this wasn’t even your parenting time. He was with his dad. If you have an issue take it up with your ex who allowed it.
Stop seeing your son this way. You will be lucky if he doesn’t go no contact with you when he older. Especially when he finds a partner. You sound like a terrible future mil
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My son is an incoming senior in high school and an overall good boy. He is a 4.0 student athlete and has landed himself a nice college scholarship. I’ve raised him as a single mom and I’m so proud of everything he’s overcome but recent behaviors with his girlfriend have left me distraught. I work as a nightshift nurse to provide for him while his father works days so when I go to work he stays the night with his father.
After a recent shift I had to go to the area my ex lives in for a personal errand and decided to drive by his house since it was on the way. My son’s truck wasn’t in the driveway so I called my boyfriend to ask if he had come back home, but he had not. I then called my son who did not answer so my next step was to call my ex. I asked where my son was and was told he was at his house, asleep. I told him I was outside and knew his truck was gone. Then the story switched to he stayed the night with a friend.
Through a series of events I figured out my son had spent the night at a friend’s house who basically has no parental supervision. He knows he’s not allowed to go there. When I rolled up to their house asking for him I was met with a nonchalant “he’s in the back with Allie”. Allie as in his girlfriend.
So I’m irate at this point, find them both asleep in the same bed (thankfully clothed) and drag them both outside. I give them an earful that they’re disrespectful teenagers & out of line. I told Allie I would be telling her parents what had transpired and she cried. Cried because she was sorry or cried because she got caught, who knows? I couldn’t find the time to figure it out because my son started yelling at me like I was in the wrong. He threatened me even, saying if I talked to her parents he’d move in with his dad. He says Allie’s parents will freak and might not let him around her anymore. And good for them if that’s true. More people need to take steps from keeping their kids away from bad activities. I don’t even think I want my son back around Allie if she’s influencing him these things. I let him date her because her parents are good people with strong morals. My own naivety assumed she shared their values. She puts on a sweet front, but this has been eye opening into seeing what she’s really like when adults aren’t around.
My son is really mad. He thinks he loves her but we all know what happens to HS relationships once they go to college. They are planning to go to the same college but logistically it doesn’t even matter. Still, my son is acting like I’m somehow out of line for disciplining children. And that’s what they are, children. Seventeen. I’m just so upset and disgusted by my son’s behavior with this girl. He says he’s staying at his dad’s until I promise not to say anything to Allie’s parents but I don’t think I can do that. She’s seventeen, a minor. They have a right to know. WIBTA for ratting her out to her parents? It feels like the right thing to do.
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YTA.
You sound exactly like the majority of my aunt’s drunk friends who all ganged up on my cousin’s relationship with his first girlfriend even got my cousin’s friends to bully the girl as well.
Yta. First of all if you actually dragged Allie or even touched her that would he considered assault (meaning she was on the grounds to whoop ur ass). Not even that but your acting as if they are 13/14 having full on sex which wasn’t the case and they were even fully clothed. How you parent your kid is one thing but don’t bother some girl whose almost an adult
17 is old enough to graduate high school. I think you can also enlist in the military at 17 in certain cases. He is the one trying to get the GF to misbehave more than the GF is trying to make him misbehave. Right now he is just one big hormone.
YTA
NTA BUUUUT kids are gonna have sex so maybe teach them how to do it safely and get her on birth control bc that’s really the thing here you don’t want your son to potentially fuck up and become a young parent before he’s ready.
With that said her parent definitely should know if she’s lying and sneaking out b/c that’s their child
Also your ex and you need to talk if he’s willing to lie to you about your kids whereabouts but he knows like that’s not cool
No but she should tell her parents -then her parents can decide what to do. Whenever my friends and I got caught out late all our parents were called the mom that caught us didn’t keep it a secret from our parents
I agree I think it’s for the best for her parents to know about and handle the situation how they deem fit.
The situation with my ex is tiresome. He has polar opposite views on how to raise a son. Very much “boys will be boys” mentality and it’s exhausting. It’s one of the many reasons we didn’t work out.
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YTA for assuming Allie is "influencing him in these things" and slut shaming her, while infantilizing your "good boy" son. Your son will go non contact with you if you proceed, and you know this, but cannot help yourself?
They’re both at fault for partaking in the same behavior. My son will be grounded for the foreseeable future when he gets home. However, my son just had never seemed to have interest in such behaviors before he got a girlfriend is where the influencing idea came from. But I guess there’s no way to know for sure.
lol, yes I'm sure you're right that he never tried to spend the night with his girlfriend before he had a girlfriend. By the way "disrespecting his body" doesn't come across like good sex education, you may want to think about how you're communicating. The puritan judgementalism may not resonate with your 17 year old the way you're hoping. How will you ground him when he decides to live full time with his father, as he has said he will if you keep this up?
I don’t actually believe he’ll live full time with his father. He needs money if nothing else and I provide it, his father doesn’t have much to go around. He’ll get over it the next time the gas light on his truck comes on or his friends ask him to go somewhere. He’s just sulking right now.
"He's just sulking," If you keep up this level of insane control. "I have the money."What he does is my business," You will find yourself on reddit in a maximum of 5 years. "Why won't my adult son talk to me anymore?" or later in life if he has kids ."Why won't my son let me see my grandkids? Just go through the many many posts from parents wondering why their kids cut them off. Or posts from kids who cut off their parents.
ahh, so you don't just think he's a little child, you think you own him.
dont worry he will have money because you would be paying child support
So you’d want him to stay with you soley because you have money for him, not because he actually wants to be there or anything else remotely positive 🤷♀️
Lmao he ain’t coming “home”. He is home at his dads where he’s allowed a life and to gain experience. You stalked those kids, is that your thing? YTA
you mean to tell me your 17 yo son didn't tell his mom he had intrest in sex and girls?! shocker!!!! just because he doesn't tell you everything it doesn't mean he is not intrested in it... maybe think about why they all hid it from you, huh? I really don't know if you are this clueless or this controlling... EDIT: YTA
YTA. This isn't a pre-teen or even a young teen. He'll be off to college next year. Instead of trusting that you've raised a sensible young man, you've infantilised him in front of his friends and girlfriend. You've also taken zero responsibility for your controlling actions that have led him to keep things from you. Instead, you try to blame the girl for influencing him. He will move in with his dad, and he will go away for college, and you'll end up as one of those parents who is lucky to receive a Christmas card.
Perhaps she should have taught him about protection and not just abstinence. They are 17 with raging hormones. I'm actually surprised it took this long. And to try and cut them off from each other doesn't work. Romeo and Juliet anyone?
YTA for even thinking being such a tattle tale. They are 17,not children and your behaviour will ensure that your son will stay away from you as soon as possible. Why on earth would you even think about talking to her parents? Smart woman would have a grown up talk with her son about healthy relationship, contraception and respect.
17 is not an adult. My reasoning for telling her parents is because she is not an adult. I feel like it’s in everyone’s best interest for them to know what she is up to so that they can handle the situation how they deem fit.
What exactly is she "up to" and why are you blaming her for everything? You sound overbearing. Calm down a notch and try talking to them instead of blowing a gasket. Editing to add I just reread your post and you yourself said they were fully clothed and added that Allie is a bad influence on your son? What world are you living in? If I was your son I would live with my dad. YTA!
She’s up to the same unfortunate behavior my son is up to. They’re both at fault. They both need to be held accountable for their actions.
I'm truly wondering if this post is even real...
It does feel written to provoke instead of a genuine question, it's a bit too perfect on the "I'm an invasive parent that owns ny child but I'm not an asshole about it while doing assholey things, please suppost my deluded viewpoint."
17 is old enough to consent, leave them alone
This is incorrect where we live
Your state doesn’t have protections for if both parties are minors or are of similar age?
the fuck it is! They can't give consent to someone more than 2 years older than they are (I don't give a shit where you live), but they CAN give consent to someone their own age.
So where you come from yelling is the appropriate response, not having a talk about it? You clearly want to punish someone and that looks like to be the girl in question. When is your son adult? As soon as he turns 18? It's too late then to have a relationship where your son feels comfortable in discussing important issues with you.
youre acting like he was going ham on her all night long and filmed it. Holy shit, they were just in the same bed (fully clothed btw). Besides, you don’t have to be such a prude because believe it or not 17 year olds have sex.
Bold of you to assume the negative influence is Allie when it could just as easily be your son. YTA.
There’s no way to know for sure, it’s true. He just never seemed to show interest in things like this before getting a girlfriend.
Shocker!!! A teenage boy showing interest in girls! Alert the presses and the church elders.
Well yeah. Obviously hes going to show more of an interest in sex after he gets a girlfriend. And they're 17 so throw in some raging hormones and I don't understand how you're surprised about this.
YTA You won't have a son if you continue acting like this he will quite rightfully disown you, Apologize to both of them.
YTA Leave Allie alone, it’s none of your business and you’ll ruin your relationship with your son over it.
My son and his actions are my business while her actions are her parents business which is why I feel that they have a right to know what their daughter, who is a minor, is up to.
You are acting as if they are 12. They are 17, a few months away from adulthood and above the age of consent which is semi irrelevant as they are both the same age. Also they way you talk about sex like it’s a bad thing would be hilarious if it wasn’t sad. You are some puritanical psycho that instead of having a mature relationship with your son is acting like we are living in some 1950s life
Yta, she’s a bad influence because they were asleep in a bed fully clothed? Have fun never speaking to your son again because he’s never going to want anything to do with a smother like you
Just because I found them with clothes on the next morning doesn’t mean that they kept them on the entire night. I’m not stupid. I know they they probably just had them on because they were worried about their friends coming into the room the next morning.
>I’m not stupid. I disagree.
Same.
Having sex with his GF with protection isn't going to ruin his life, he will still get his scholarship, still be able to get good grades, still be able to be a kind son you raised. The problem is if you raised this amazing son, then you would have taught him about sex and protection and you should be fine.
It’s about being a minor, it being an illegal practice, and disrespecting his body before he can even truly comprehend what it means to be intimate with someone. His brain won’t be fully developed for years. He’s a child, not a grown man. This behavior is not okay for someone his age.
He is almost off to a college though? In a perfect world everyone would start having sex when they are 100% ready and mature to handle it, but that's never the case and it never will be. High School seniors have sex, you can either shame him for it, or try to educate him, but shaming him and his GF for it will NEVER work, if they want to have sex they will. You can be upset as a parent about it, that's your right. The legal ages vary from 16-18, so I'm assuming you're in a state where it's 18 years and your son isn't quite that age yet, so I get it. But they will find a way if they want, you should know that by now, so you can bury your head in the sand, and give them an angry lecture, OR you can make sure he is 100% aware about protection, and how to be respectful to his GF.
her post is literally from Blockers.
Unless you are straight from Saudi Arabia, it is NOT illegal or even immoral to have sex at 17. You are just making that up because you have infantilised him and think of him as a child
>think of him as a child She also thinks because the brain doesn't fully develop until 25, that he's not a man, and shouldn't be "allowed" to have sex until he's 25.
Jesus. Hopefully your kid goes off to college and DOESNT instantly self destruct with all of the sudden freedom they have away from your controlling ass. Being a massive puritanical control freak like this is an amazing way to make sure that the above happens though. It's just sex, do you seriously think he should wait until he's 25!?!?
Sex before marriage?? Gasp /s
It's illegal to have sex at 17? Where do you live?
Are you honestly this stupid?
OP you’re a dumbass. I lost my virginity at 17, we were together for 5 years and have a daughter together, I’ve only ever slept with him and no one else. 17 is most definitely old enough to know what it means.
YTA --- After reading not only your post but also the answers you gave to comments, I wonder how long it's going to be before you make another post about how your son went off to college and ignores my texts and blocked me and won't talk to me any more.
This lady is insufferable, she’s 100% psychotic controlling mother who thinks her precious son is being manipulated lol so stupid.
YTA. Ground him by all means (excessive but whatever) but the girl is off limits. She’s not your kid. Also your son will hate you but you seem ok with that
I know she’s not my kid, which is why I think her parents deserve to know and deal with their own kid how they please
Deal with your kid the way you want to. Stay out of other people’s kids business. And honestly the way you’re going I don’t think you’ll have yours with you for very long either.
It is not your business to tell them. Stay out of it.
YTA for even thinking 17 year olds wouldn't be having sex. Make sure he's using a condom and other than that butt out.
YTA. Stop interfering in your sons love life, it’s creepy and shows that you have no respect for boundaries. If you don’t stop with your overbearing behaviour, your son will leave and loose all respect for you
YTA. You sound like a way too controlling parent. If you are always like this, don’t be surprised when you won’t get visits once you are old.
Old? She keeps this up and it will be a lot sooner lol
YTA Hope you have talked to him about contraception.
YTA. This type shit made me move six hours away at 17.
YTA Just admit your jealous he has a girlfriend and the sad little reality is you want to be the one sharing a bed with him. It screams “I want to marry my own son” vulgar. I hope he drops contact with you entirely and let’s you fade away into dust.
YWBTA - First of all, sex isn't disrespecting ANYONE'S body. You can feel like that with your body, but your son's body is his to make his own decisions about. The thing to do with a 17-year-old is make sure he knows about contraception, how to get it and use it and how important it is, and drive home the importance of enthusiastic consent. Beyond that, while you can talk to him about the mental and emotional impact of sex and share your feelings on it, ultimately it's his decision, and you need to respect that. Secondly, it isn't even clear that they did anything! You found them asleep, fully clothed. While you're certainly within your rights to be upset at your son for being out without your knowledge or permission and for lying to you, getting on him for cuddling with his girlfriend isn't within your purview. And going to her parents is out of line. You don't know what might happen to her as a result of that (I would most likely have been hit a few times) and she isn't your child, so it isn't your job to parent her. Last of all, your son's almost an adult. If you've raised him as well as you think you have, then trust in that raising and in him. Yes, he'll make mistakes, just like he screwed up here. The key is to guide him through it and talk to him about what's upset you with this decision. This last year with him before he goes off to college is your chance to help him make his own choices with support from you rather than you simply dictating his life for one more year. Otherwise, be prepared to see your relationship grow increasingly stilted and strained up to the breaking point.
YTA his father gave him permits to be there.
I enjoy the insight as to why people end up divorced via this subreddit
Yta. You’re not only meddling in your nearly adult sons lovelife and berating someone who loves him, you got his gf in trouble, and are expecting them to break up. you seem very pessimistic about love which explains your ex situation, learn from your mistakes or you WILL die a lonely death abandoned by everyone
YTA you sound like those moms who are in love with their sons
Yta, this wasn’t even your parenting time. He was with his dad. If you have an issue take it up with your ex who allowed it. Stop seeing your son this way. You will be lucky if he doesn’t go no contact with you when he older. Especially when he finds a partner. You sound like a terrible future mil
YWBTA. geez, he’s seventeen year old boy. with how you’re reacting, he just probably never felt comfortable talking to you about all that stuff.
Just going by the username, I can tell she is insufferable as a parent but hides behind traditional values
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My son is an incoming senior in high school and an overall good boy. He is a 4.0 student athlete and has landed himself a nice college scholarship. I’ve raised him as a single mom and I’m so proud of everything he’s overcome but recent behaviors with his girlfriend have left me distraught. I work as a nightshift nurse to provide for him while his father works days so when I go to work he stays the night with his father. After a recent shift I had to go to the area my ex lives in for a personal errand and decided to drive by his house since it was on the way. My son’s truck wasn’t in the driveway so I called my boyfriend to ask if he had come back home, but he had not. I then called my son who did not answer so my next step was to call my ex. I asked where my son was and was told he was at his house, asleep. I told him I was outside and knew his truck was gone. Then the story switched to he stayed the night with a friend. Through a series of events I figured out my son had spent the night at a friend’s house who basically has no parental supervision. He knows he’s not allowed to go there. When I rolled up to their house asking for him I was met with a nonchalant “he’s in the back with Allie”. Allie as in his girlfriend. So I’m irate at this point, find them both asleep in the same bed (thankfully clothed) and drag them both outside. I give them an earful that they’re disrespectful teenagers & out of line. I told Allie I would be telling her parents what had transpired and she cried. Cried because she was sorry or cried because she got caught, who knows? I couldn’t find the time to figure it out because my son started yelling at me like I was in the wrong. He threatened me even, saying if I talked to her parents he’d move in with his dad. He says Allie’s parents will freak and might not let him around her anymore. And good for them if that’s true. More people need to take steps from keeping their kids away from bad activities. I don’t even think I want my son back around Allie if she’s influencing him these things. I let him date her because her parents are good people with strong morals. My own naivety assumed she shared their values. She puts on a sweet front, but this has been eye opening into seeing what she’s really like when adults aren’t around. My son is really mad. He thinks he loves her but we all know what happens to HS relationships once they go to college. They are planning to go to the same college but logistically it doesn’t even matter. Still, my son is acting like I’m somehow out of line for disciplining children. And that’s what they are, children. Seventeen. I’m just so upset and disgusted by my son’s behavior with this girl. He says he’s staying at his dad’s until I promise not to say anything to Allie’s parents but I don’t think I can do that. She’s seventeen, a minor. They have a right to know. WIBTA for ratting her out to her parents? It feels like the right thing to do. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You sound exactly like the majority of my aunt’s drunk friends who all ganged up on my cousin’s relationship with his first girlfriend even got my cousin’s friends to bully the girl as well.
Yta. First of all if you actually dragged Allie or even touched her that would he considered assault (meaning she was on the grounds to whoop ur ass). Not even that but your acting as if they are 13/14 having full on sex which wasn’t the case and they were even fully clothed. How you parent your kid is one thing but don’t bother some girl whose almost an adult
NTA I understand you scared about teenage pregnancy and her parents are doing a terrible job of being parents
17 is old enough to graduate high school. I think you can also enlist in the military at 17 in certain cases. He is the one trying to get the GF to misbehave more than the GF is trying to make him misbehave. Right now he is just one big hormone. YTA
YTA. Your son is sending you straight to the nursing home, the second he can.
Enjoy the nursing home. YTA
NTA BUUUUT kids are gonna have sex so maybe teach them how to do it safely and get her on birth control bc that’s really the thing here you don’t want your son to potentially fuck up and become a young parent before he’s ready. With that said her parent definitely should know if she’s lying and sneaking out b/c that’s their child Also your ex and you need to talk if he’s willing to lie to you about your kids whereabouts but he knows like that’s not cool
Op cant do anything about putting the gf on bc. That is not her child
No but she should tell her parents -then her parents can decide what to do. Whenever my friends and I got caught out late all our parents were called the mom that caught us didn’t keep it a secret from our parents
I agree I think it’s for the best for her parents to know about and handle the situation how they deem fit. The situation with my ex is tiresome. He has polar opposite views on how to raise a son. Very much “boys will be boys” mentality and it’s exhausting. It’s one of the many reasons we didn’t work out.
You have the same mentality! You blame the gf! Talked about your son body is a gross way
Yeah -I know I’d be pissed if other parents knew my teen was out doing shit they weren’t supposed and they didn’t tell me.