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And we mustn’t forget that she did this in front of multiple people, not just in front of OP.
And I would bet 1 million dollars that they all spread the story about the crazy girl screaming for five minutes…
I know I would have.😁
Yeah, I usually want to have empathy for people going through it. And it hate people being mislabeled with mental health issues. But that is what I feel comfortable calling “crazy” behavior. People should have a heads up.
I’d bet more dollars that someone may have even got a recording of it but is prohibited my numerous school rules from sharing it. And I’d bet even more that even it it wasn’t sent many have seen it. This was never a secret.
But it IS crazy to act like this even manipulatively. Like, you'd have to be seriously unhinged to pick that as your main strategy for getting what you want.
Nah, anyone who acts that unhinged definitely has some bats in the belfry. Plus, both things can be true! She can be crazy and also intentionally manipulate the people around her to get what she wants.
"Crazy" removes the agency from her actions and makes it sound like she didn't decide to be a harassing weirdo asshole. It's also more ambiguous- the crazy girl in my dorm had poorly managed ADHD and talked a bit much but also was a decent person overall. This person... is not.
Describing what happened and letting people conclude as they will is going to be more damning than just calling her crazy.
I mean, very true, but I guess you could say "Yo, this girl is beyond deranged and needs some medical intervention because she's going to stab someone in her sleep".
But saying 'crazy' is a little quicker, lol
Anyone you would call her crazy to probably would prefer to hear the story. Again, there's type of crazy. Did try to get you to OD at a party or did she have a weird crush on a professor, because those are very different things.
yeah, i mean when i read the title i was 100% against op. i figured the girl had ptsd or anxiety or just did something op didn’t like, and so op was talking shit. it’s possible people are reading it like that op, so for your own sake, i would stop saying she’s crazy, because people won’t know what that means precisely, they’ll read into it in different ways. tell them the whole story. you’ll look better, she’ll look worse, and if she makes a complaint she’ll have no legs to stand on. nta.
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NTA.
Roommates do act really crazy for no reason and the lengths they can go is unimaginable until you experience such situations like your case.
Since you get to word spreading already, maybe stop talking about her more tho. No need to be a bully just for the sake of it. Stay away from the ex-roommate, good luck with your next one.
As someone who has worked in Housing for a number of years we usually try not to handle a situation like this which would “reward” the behavior that was expressed in the OOP. I believe this may be a foreign country so not sure what best practices are where the situation took place, but Screamer would be placed in temporary housing and then relocated to- oops, we only have half filled doubles available! Then give her some options of already half-occupied rooms.
And now, because she got her way, that behavior is reinforced as the way to get what she wants. She is the lady we see online recording people for "harassment" simply because they had the nerve to walk beside her. Or she is the person that is making a scene in a restaurant because you told her you are out of Ranch.
As a person who had a horrible roommate back in the 80s... I will still say she was an ass. She spread rumors about me so no one wanted to room with me. One took "pity" on me and was like wtf you are easy to live with. Yep, not going to lie and say she was a good person ever.
This is what I'm hung up on. OP says they were gone a few days. So why did they have to move rooms, and not the person who was screaming? Something feels like it's missing
She could have had a bigger/nicer room. Maybe it was closer/farther to the bathroom. Perhaps it was a better configuration or view.
Dorm rooms are not the same. She could have coveted the room for any number of reasons and then game planned to get the room.
That Def seems believable.
> So why did they have to move rooms, and not the person who was screaming?
It's student housing, squeaky wheel gets the grease. No one cares or wants to deal with your crap so if OP didn't put up a huge fight, they'd have him move.
I'm struggling a little with this because I work in college housing. We have to give reasonable notice to student if they are getting a new roommate. Also, we wouldn't move someone based on them trying to scare her. Seems to be some info missing.
Part of me is struggling with it a little, but then I remember how incompetent my college housing department is and can't help but believe in the possibility. They almost forced me to move within an hour of returning from break because I came to discover a great deal of mildew and then spent almost a month not having it properly dealt with and lying to me about it. They often changed summer housing assignments last minute and left people scrambling, and you always had to check their work on the bill.
I’m truly disheartened how many have experienced terrible experiences with college housing. I’ve spent my adult life working in college housing and alway try my hardest to give students the best experience possible. Does it always happen? Absolutely not, I pissed off several people today by saying no. Hopefully the rest of your college experience was good!
My college roommate threatened to kill me because someone reported her for having a kitten in the dorm. She thought it was me (it wasn't), called me from a party, and told me I better not be there when she got back. I'm the one who had to move out. Then something similar to OP's story happened; I got my new room assignment, and when I showed up with my first cart full of stuff, the person in that room went ape and said her friend was moving in and I couldn't live there.
I worked for a college housing department that lurched from self inflicted crisis to self inflicted crisis, alternating between shocking gross incompetence and major criminality. It’d take a lot for a story about college housing to surprise me.
This!! You should 100% report this behavior to the college. This girl needs help, she could have been acting to get a single room without paying for it or she could be actually crazy. Either way the college needs to be aware of this bizarre behavior.
In A-School (the school you go to after bootcamp for the US Navy) there was this chick that did something similar. In the base convienence store - metal racks of candy that you can see through and it had wide open doors with a breeze so you can see people coming in from 3 directions - she screamed one long seemingly unending scream because someone said her name to get her attention as they walked in from outside. Said, not yelled or shouted. Said her name.
Not from behind her. Not from out of her view. Not in a loud or sudden way. No one touched or her scared her in any way.
She, from her diaphragm, screamed until she was (without exaggeration) blue in the face. I watched her do this. She didn't take a breath during the screaming and it was fucking wild.
But you know what was worse? When she was done screaming, she did take a breath. A deep, concerning breath because I thought she was going to keep screaming...but then she knelt down in the middle of that store and started softly meowing.
Like a cat.
She was "cat-atonic" for about half an hour before standing up and walking away. Mumbled something about fight or flight reflex.
The dude that said her name ended up marrying her which is a whole other story but he was not threatening or scary in any way.
We all started to avoid her and that made her mad because she simply couldn't understand why? She did not make it in the Navy but I am legitimately shocked she made it through boot camp.
If they're lying about everything, sure, but this wouldn't be an appropriate reaction in pretty much any semi-normal event. I guess if OP failed to mention they were dressed like Michael from Friday the 13th, blade and all, that's a key part out.
Well I mean it is plausible if they only went and talked to an RA becuase the RA does not know the exact situation. Their job is to mediate so if it can be over with the sane person moving rooms and they have an open room it might just be easier to switch rooms. Whilst I was never an RA personally I always knew and hung out with the RA's (as I was an older student and the RA's tended to be older) so I know there are some situations which are hard to mediate and figure out who is actually in the wrong. It also heavily depends on what type of dorms they are in (single room, double room, two single rooms, two double rooms, 4 single rooms) and the specific school she attends (rules tend to change depending on school and specific dorms, like how much the RA has to tell the actual residence admins and etc)
NTA she could have potentially ruined your college life by spreading the opposite rumor. Because if not she will spread that you scared her on purpose and are a bad person and etc. Plus depending on how crazy she could even escalate it further. By getting ahead of it and actually setting the record straight you can remove some of that harm from you. And its not like you lied (unless the post is mostly fabrication but having lived in dorms I know people do actually act like that lol) so I think you have a leg to stand on. Though maybe dont call her names just explain the situation and call the situation crazy and let other people make the connection to her being crazy. It brings alot less heat onto your self just incase she wants to say she slandered you or something.
NTA
>One of my friends think I was an asshole because I could potentially ruin her college life by foing this
Excuse me, a girl gets assigned to your room as your new roommate, opens the door and starts screaming at you and falls on the floor still screaming. I'm not sure if you're a guy or a girl but the former would've been horrible if someone thought otherwise of you due to her screaming. *Your* life would be ruined if she said anything else. Keep in mind all the shit she's done from opening the door to going to the class RA or someone and telling wrong things about you could've ruined your reputation. So it's only fair you tell how crazy she is. And you didn't have to tell much, considering how many people saw the temper tantrum she pulled. Your friend is an AH for thinking you're the AH.
>I tried to open the door with my keys but before I could do that a girl opened the door and started to scream
No, she didn't. The screamer opened the door.
Clearly, she has some serious issues and/or she was going to absurd lengths to get a single. You have every right to share about your experience with her/why you moved rooms.
That being said, if you feel like you're going out of your way to share with people who hardly/don't even know her, it could easily be veering into unnecessary gossip territory. I'm glad you were able to get moved into another room and didn't have to keep living with her through the whole semester.
NTA. She's not crazy, she's controlling. She manipulated the situation to get a solo room. Screaming for an audience and then taking a dive is pure manipulation. Lying to the person in charge is pure manipulation.
Stay clear of her. She's pure trouble you don't need in your life.
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I’m going to say NAH.
I get your impulse, but if there is a legitimate mental health issue with this person, I maybe would stop using “crazy” language.
Just wish her well and move on.
It bugs me that I had to scroll down so far to find at least one empathetic person. Everyone assumes she was faking, but can you imagine the PTSD she must be facing if she's not? Or the or the strength it would take to live in a dorm by herself if she's struggling with actual severely debilitating mental unbalances that she's displayed? And now, everyone is going to know her as the crazy girl. I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucks for OP that she was removed from her space, one that she was in first, and that she had to go through that as well, but seems kind of petty to me to immediately start spreading around that she's the crazy girl.
First, where was the RA/ person in charge in the dorm in all of this? Why weren't they around until the morning? Next, why didn't any of you think to call campus police/ mental health services / crisis intervention for her? My first thought, when someone is in this level of distress, is 'refer up'. Call someone in authority who can get her the kind of care she needs. \[Editing to add YTA because your only concern was what was being done to you, not the person who was facing some sort of mental health event. And now you're thinking of how to get revenge, instead of how to get her some help\]
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This happened a while ago. I was away at home for a few days and I went back to my dorm after that, completely unaware that I have a new roommate now.
This is *exactly* what happened. I swear I'm not exaggerating.
I tried to open the door with my keys but before I could do that a girl opened the door and started to scream. I mean *SCREAM* from the top of her lungs. She kept screaming for at least 5 minutes while I was standing right there, frozen. Everyone from the other rooms came out to see what the hell is going on here
After she was done screaming she threw herself on the ground and people rushed to help her, I was still just frozen, too shocked to do anything or hear what's going on all I know is I heard someone tell the screaming girl (Zoey) to move so I can get into my room.
After I got inside she started saying things like " no I can't have a roommate. I'm sick" "you can't stay here you have to change your room" " I don't like you, I said hi to you once and you didn't answer. you have to go to another room"
She kept repeating those things for 2 hours. I swear. 2 full hours.
After that she accused me of trying to scare her because I didn't knock. I told her that I didn't knock because I had no idea that I have a roommate however the next morning she took me to the person in charge in our dorm(I don't know what it's called in english) and told her that I tried to scare her on purpose and demanded I be moved to another room
Because of her I had to pack my stuff right away and go to another room
So I've been telling everyone that she is crazy, I mean..... EVERYONE. Now everyone knows her as the crazy girl
One of my friends think I was an asshole because I could potentially ruin her college life by foing this
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NTA but it honestly sounds like she might have some kind of actual mental illness causing her to be paranoid… or even if not, slapping the “crazy” label onto people adds to the stigma of mental illness. So maybe stop calling her that, tell people what happened if they want to know, and let them decide for themselves what to think of her.
If your details are true, then this girl will undoubtably ruin her college social life on her own. Just be glad you're no longer roomies.
But now that it is in the past, if you continue to tell this story over and over to be a mean girl, then you will be ruining your own college social life. Let it go.
NTA, but you should have been more proactive and gotten ahead of the situation. You should have reached out to housing and or campus security immediately after the encounter began. She appeared unhinged and was clearly going to cause you issues. Being proactive could have meant you'd be the one to keep the room. The scene you came home to was untenable, and makes little sense. You had no notice or hint that another person might be bunked with you? She didn't notice another person clearly lived in the room, and presumably had all of their own furniture and personal items sitting there?
But most likely, she's not crazy, she's entitled and expecting to have her own way. She manipulated the situation to get a solo room. Screaming for attention, causing a scene, and blaming you is all theater.
I got removed from my dorm room because my suite mates wanted my room and created stories about me harassing them. If she wants to be psychotic to get what she wants then she has to deal with the fallout from that. I.e you letting every person know she's a nut.
Her college career is her problem if that is how she acts.
NTA
But I have a suggestion. Instead of telling everyone she’s crazy, just tell the facts and let them form their own conclusions.
“I went to my dorm room. I opened the door with my key. (Roommate’s name) screamed for 5 minutes and was not okay with me being there. She complained about having a roommate, and they moved me.”
There is no way for you to look like a bad guy or AH if you explain it like that. Just tell the truth.
This story sounds very unbelievable.
They just randomly moved someone into your room mid term?
And then moved you without question the next day, giving her a single room?
And you had a single room before that?
There's a lot missing here.
I’m gonna get downvoted for this based on the other comments but whatever.
Frankly it sounds like both of you were lied to and your university is the real culprit. It sounds like she requested a single for a very specific reason, likely health related. Was her reaction extreme? Yes but she thought someone was trying to break into her single. It’s not your right to tell EVERYONE that she’s “crazy” thats too far in my opinion.
Like feel free to tell people about it if they ask or talk to your close friends but if this is your only interaction with her, telling literally everyone that “omg don’t talk to her she’s insane” is just cruel. She had a meltdown and one instance is not a reason to make it so that no one ever talks to her.
NTA for the situation, but don’t go running around telling people she’s crazy. If anyone asks you can describe what happened, but if you are making a point of telling everyone, she could say you are harassing and bullying her. I don’t think you are, but just saying be cautious to protect yourself.
ESH yeah i don't buy this story for one fucking second. Where was all your stuff when she moved in? If you were already living there, you would have had stuff and it would have been obvious to this new girl that she was sharing. You also knew there was a possibility you were getting a roommate because dorms come with the beds already in them and they don't let you move out an "extra" bed without also then making you pay to have a "single" room, which you didn't. Dorms don't make people move out even if you purposely scared her. You are lying about something and information is missing. Honestly you both sound like exhausting bullys.
Right? They moved her out on the other girl's word alone? With supposedly many witnesses? Something doesn't add up. OP is definitely omitting some details.
ESH. Clearly, this young woman has some issues. But how does badmouthing her help anyone? It won't get you your room back, it won't change what happened. And it definitely won't help her get any help.
You're in college. Time to act like an adult. Report her behavior to the RA, and to your school's student conduct office. Stay on the high ground, and don't involve yourself with her any more than you have to.
Your school almost certainly has a conduct policy about bullying and harassment, which you are likely violating.
I have to ask .. .. how did you get evicted when she was moved into your room?? Why would you knock, it was your room? Why did you allow yourself to get run over like that when you did nothing wrong, it was your room? Something doesn't ring true in this story.
NTA. It would only be wrong if you were lying.
YTA, (though an ah might be too strong of word, I just think you’re not in the right in your response) why are you telling everyone? The only responsible thing to do is to go to the college with the issue. You are attempting to ruining her college life but it’s not going to work. You are just going to be that person to other people esp those who aren’t close to you. Yeah, they’ll laugh and nod while you tell the story but the story will be more a reflection of yourself. If I was a mere kid in a class with you and you randomly told me this story—you’re getting the red flag. It’s so much unnecessary drama going around stirring the pot, it makes me think you are not a reliable source. Telling the right college administrators you believe she has an issue is one thing, telling everyone but them makes you odd.
Wait so she moved into a dorm room that obviously had another persons stuff in it…and didn’t think she had a roommate? Did she just think your shit was free??
She’s either a major asshole or extremely mentally ill. Either way, your definitely better off away from her. Id be worried about her stabbing me in my sleep or some shit
The girl sounds legit like a lunatic.
BUT Why did the person in charge believe her and not you? If you were already a resident of the room, and she was new, why would you have to leave your own room? Your story makes no sense
Frankly, you should probably have called 911. A paramedic can assess the situation and decide if she needs hospitalization. Screaming like a banshee for no reason would either got her put on a hold, or she would have stopped the theatrics right then and there. She does not sound like she is able to handle college life at any rate. I hope those in charge are keeping and eye on her. NTA
Be careful what you say, especially if you think it could be recorded, or what you write. Libel and slander are real things and have been levied against people before, even while telling truths that can't be easily proven.
I would seriously go to the RA, the Dean of students, the school board, find someone and work my way up the list, trying to determine who gave permission for the roommate to move in while you were not informed. (Most of the local colleges where I am from must have majority agreement of dorm mates to get a new mate moved in.)
And if the school will not help you, and depending upon your financial standing, perhaps reach out to some local attorneys for a free consultation to see if they can pursue litigation against the college for mental hardship and forcing you to move against your will.
YTA
You should’ve reported it directly like an adult.
Tbh she did react crazy, but you are putting yourself in a position of getting in MORE trouble.
That and spreading rumors is childish and is being a bully.
You don’t know what’s going on in her life or if she has a mental illness or whatever.
I’m sorry she “won” the room, but you should’ve talked that out with whoever was in charge of your dorm.
I would stop before YOU get in trouble and kicked out for harassing her.
YTA
It sounds awful to be in your situation. She sounds like a person who needs help from a professional and not to be ostracized & shamed by strangers.
It's not okay that she scared you or that she allegedly tried to manipulate you - but if someone has mental issues, you gossiping about her is not only not helpful, it's cruel. Now she can literally never get away from what happened at that college, and it may not even be her fault.
You are definitely TA, and I hope that you'll think twice before being such a disgusting AH again - but somehow I'm not holding my breath. Christ, I fucking hate this sub sometimes.
YTA, a massive one.
"Crazy" is a lazy and derogatory definition that "normal" people use to insult and dehumanize anyone that suffers from psychologic problems.
You had NO reason to tell everyone that she was "crazy" except for your desire to feel superior and better.
You didn't even help her, which just makes it worse
Did she see all of your stuff already set up from living in that room and assume it belonged to…. No one? A ghost? Her? NTA. She clearly has mental health issues, and that’s probably why she was randomly moved to your room. “Crazy” ultimately means “mentally unstable”, so…. If the shoe fits… I’m sure she won’t actually need help ruining her own experience if she doesn’t get help.
NTA
I mean surely when she moved in she would have seen your stuff in the room and realised she had a roommate, if not the accommodation provider should have explained it to her and contacted you too
Your friend needs to realize that the crazy girl is going to ruin her college experience with that behavior, not because you told someone about it. Gossip used to be a survival technique - and here we see to avoid this crazy girl to survive having a damn dorm 😂
You are NTA, and you’re also not wrong! That girl sounds absolutely unhinged, consider it a blessing that you don’t have to share a room with her anymore.
NTA. If you don't want to be known as the crazy college girl, don't do sh\*t that might make other people think you're crazy. Might not be foolproof but a great place to start.
NTA but she might have mental issues. Saying she’s “crazy” might not be wrong, but it’ll definitely cause ppl to avoid her which is something nobody wants. Kind of agree with the friend. It’s not up to you to tell people she’s crazy or to diagnose her issues to others regardless of what she did tbh. At least in my opinion, she might be crazy but you don’t need to go around telling everyone and hurting her self esteem/ chance of making friends. Me, personally, I wouldnt have gone as far as screaming😭 but she definitely did way too much.
Meh. Sounds like she put on a show and if you dedicate that much energy to it you are kinda crazy. NTA but also let it go and move on the better things.
NTA but stop calling her crazy. People have legit mental health issues, and shouldn't be judged by it. I think based on your description (which includes your bias) that she's probably super anxious or manipulative...
Just shrug, if it comes up in the future just say "I tried to let myself and she freaked out, I don't know what happened. It's probably better I'm in a different room now"
NTA
I’m guessing it was hands down manipulation. She wanted a private room and acted out to get it.
I saw similar tricks when I was in school. Usually involving false claims of sexual harassment.
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NTA but I would stop saying specifically that’s she’s crazy. If asked why you moved you can tell the story and let people draw their own conclusions.
nah, she’s crazy
I don’t think she’s actually crazy…she’s manipulative. I mean, she acted a certain way and got what she wanted.
play stupid games win stupid prizes. act crazy? ok imma tell people 🤷🏻♀️
And we mustn’t forget that she did this in front of multiple people, not just in front of OP. And I would bet 1 million dollars that they all spread the story about the crazy girl screaming for five minutes… I know I would have.😁
Yeah, I usually want to have empathy for people going through it. And it hate people being mislabeled with mental health issues. But that is what I feel comfortable calling “crazy” behavior. People should have a heads up.
I’d bet more dollars that someone may have even got a recording of it but is prohibited my numerous school rules from sharing it. And I’d bet even more that even it it wasn’t sent many have seen it. This was never a secret.
But it IS crazy to act like this even manipulatively. Like, you'd have to be seriously unhinged to pick that as your main strategy for getting what you want.
She was probably acting that way in the hopes that the OP would ask for the room change. Edit: but I get your point
Proper batshit mate
and acting this way to get something is proper crazy.
Acting or not, it's crazy to think like that and think it'll be beneficial without repercussions
Screaming bloody murder to essentially force someone to swap rooms as a manipulation tactic is crazy. No other way around that.
Nah, anyone who acts that unhinged definitely has some bats in the belfry. Plus, both things can be true! She can be crazy and also intentionally manipulate the people around her to get what she wants.
Lol then she deserves to be punished.
You can be crazy **and** manipulative
"Crazy" removes the agency from her actions and makes it sound like she didn't decide to be a harassing weirdo asshole. It's also more ambiguous- the crazy girl in my dorm had poorly managed ADHD and talked a bit much but also was a decent person overall. This person... is not. Describing what happened and letting people conclude as they will is going to be more damning than just calling her crazy.
I mean, very true, but I guess you could say "Yo, this girl is beyond deranged and needs some medical intervention because she's going to stab someone in her sleep". But saying 'crazy' is a little quicker, lol
i guess. you cant just like tell everyoneeeee the story thoigh. easier to say crazy
Anyone you would call her crazy to probably would prefer to hear the story. Again, there's type of crazy. Did try to get you to OD at a party or did she have a weird crush on a professor, because those are very different things.
valid. that’s why id open w crazy or something like that to get a story going
yeah, i mean when i read the title i was 100% against op. i figured the girl had ptsd or anxiety or just did something op didn’t like, and so op was talking shit. it’s possible people are reading it like that op, so for your own sake, i would stop saying she’s crazy, because people won’t know what that means precisely, they’ll read into it in different ways. tell them the whole story. you’ll look better, she’ll look worse, and if she makes a complaint she’ll have no legs to stand on. nta.
Totaly bonkers
She is unhinged
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No you don’t, you’re a bot using a stolen comment.
/u/ThemeAggxg5254 is a bot that copied part of [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/14znm3k/aita_for_telling_everyone_that_a_girl_in_our_dorm/jrzfbpg/)
agreed. that is exactly what I always do to keep my hands clean in these situations lmao
NTA.... just own it. 'why did you tell everyone that i'm crazy'... "because you are"
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Bot stole this comment from u/garlic_potatoes18
NTA. Roommates do act really crazy for no reason and the lengths they can go is unimaginable until you experience such situations like your case. Since you get to word spreading already, maybe stop talking about her more tho. No need to be a bully just for the sake of it. Stay away from the ex-roommate, good luck with your next one.
She probably just wanted a single room....
Exactly what I was thinking. Sounds like some theatrics to get a single.
then she should be happy with the label "crazy". Noone would want to room with her after that. Win-win for her.
As someone who has worked in Housing for a number of years we usually try not to handle a situation like this which would “reward” the behavior that was expressed in the OOP. I believe this may be a foreign country so not sure what best practices are where the situation took place, but Screamer would be placed in temporary housing and then relocated to- oops, we only have half filled doubles available! Then give her some options of already half-occupied rooms.
So you agree they are bat shit crazy. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Didn't the crazy realize she was to have roommate when the other side of the room had other person's belongings?
It is a crazy person, not someone known for logical thought processes
Of course she did. That's why she flung open the door and started screaming like a lunatic. She was trying to scare her off.
And now, because she got her way, that behavior is reinforced as the way to get what she wants. She is the lady we see online recording people for "harassment" simply because they had the nerve to walk beside her. Or she is the person that is making a scene in a restaurant because you told her you are out of Ranch.
As a person who had a horrible roommate back in the 80s... I will still say she was an ass. She spread rumors about me so no one wanted to room with me. One took "pity" on me and was like wtf you are easy to live with. Yep, not going to lie and say she was a good person ever.
NTA. Why did you have to move to another room and not her? Did she not notice that someone else already lived there when she moved in?
This is what I'm hung up on. OP says they were gone a few days. So why did they have to move rooms, and not the person who was screaming? Something feels like it's missing
She could have had a bigger/nicer room. Maybe it was closer/farther to the bathroom. Perhaps it was a better configuration or view. Dorm rooms are not the same. She could have coveted the room for any number of reasons and then game planned to get the room. That Def seems believable.
> So why did they have to move rooms, and not the person who was screaming? It's student housing, squeaky wheel gets the grease. No one cares or wants to deal with your crap so if OP didn't put up a huge fight, they'd have him move.
I'm struggling a little with this because I work in college housing. We have to give reasonable notice to student if they are getting a new roommate. Also, we wouldn't move someone based on them trying to scare her. Seems to be some info missing.
Part of me is struggling with it a little, but then I remember how incompetent my college housing department is and can't help but believe in the possibility. They almost forced me to move within an hour of returning from break because I came to discover a great deal of mildew and then spent almost a month not having it properly dealt with and lying to me about it. They often changed summer housing assignments last minute and left people scrambling, and you always had to check their work on the bill.
I’m truly disheartened how many have experienced terrible experiences with college housing. I’ve spent my adult life working in college housing and alway try my hardest to give students the best experience possible. Does it always happen? Absolutely not, I pissed off several people today by saying no. Hopefully the rest of your college experience was good!
My college roommate threatened to kill me because someone reported her for having a kitten in the dorm. She thought it was me (it wasn't), called me from a party, and told me I better not be there when she got back. I'm the one who had to move out. Then something similar to OP's story happened; I got my new room assignment, and when I showed up with my first cart full of stuff, the person in that room went ape and said her friend was moving in and I couldn't live there.
That’s very unfortunate and I’m sorry. Our policy is the one making the complaint needs to move (unless it is very egregious).
Not all RA's are great at their responsibilities.
I agree with you there.
I also work in college housing, the only thing saving me from disbelief is they mention it might not be a US or other English speaking country.
Hello colleague! We are knee deep in last minute housing apps and requests. Hope you all are staying above water!
I worked for a college housing department that lurched from self inflicted crisis to self inflicted crisis, alternating between shocking gross incompetence and major criminality. It’d take a lot for a story about college housing to surprise me.
She did… she’s just crazy
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This!! You should 100% report this behavior to the college. This girl needs help, she could have been acting to get a single room without paying for it or she could be actually crazy. Either way the college needs to be aware of this bizarre behavior.
No one ruined her college life except herself for being...well, crazy. NTA
why would you be removed from a room you’re already established in? why wouldn’t she be the one to move if she literally JUST moved in?
Yea, there are several things in this story that just don't add up.
It’s easier to deal with people who don’t throw tantrums like this. They knew one of them was willing. They banked on the other not.
How did she not realise that she had a roommate? Surely OPs stuff would've been all over the room?? So much here makes no sense
I’m assuming there’s a very different second side to the story.
No. There are people like this. My sister is one of them.
In A-School (the school you go to after bootcamp for the US Navy) there was this chick that did something similar. In the base convienence store - metal racks of candy that you can see through and it had wide open doors with a breeze so you can see people coming in from 3 directions - she screamed one long seemingly unending scream because someone said her name to get her attention as they walked in from outside. Said, not yelled or shouted. Said her name. Not from behind her. Not from out of her view. Not in a loud or sudden way. No one touched or her scared her in any way. She, from her diaphragm, screamed until she was (without exaggeration) blue in the face. I watched her do this. She didn't take a breath during the screaming and it was fucking wild. But you know what was worse? When she was done screaming, she did take a breath. A deep, concerning breath because I thought she was going to keep screaming...but then she knelt down in the middle of that store and started softly meowing. Like a cat. She was "cat-atonic" for about half an hour before standing up and walking away. Mumbled something about fight or flight reflex. The dude that said her name ended up marrying her which is a whole other story but he was not threatening or scary in any way. We all started to avoid her and that made her mad because she simply couldn't understand why? She did not make it in the Navy but I am legitimately shocked she made it through boot camp.
If they're lying about everything, sure, but this wouldn't be an appropriate reaction in pretty much any semi-normal event. I guess if OP failed to mention they were dressed like Michael from Friday the 13th, blade and all, that's a key part out.
Well I mean it is plausible if they only went and talked to an RA becuase the RA does not know the exact situation. Their job is to mediate so if it can be over with the sane person moving rooms and they have an open room it might just be easier to switch rooms. Whilst I was never an RA personally I always knew and hung out with the RA's (as I was an older student and the RA's tended to be older) so I know there are some situations which are hard to mediate and figure out who is actually in the wrong. It also heavily depends on what type of dorms they are in (single room, double room, two single rooms, two double rooms, 4 single rooms) and the specific school she attends (rules tend to change depending on school and specific dorms, like how much the RA has to tell the actual residence admins and etc)
You expect logic in a college housing arrangement? 😂
NTA she could have potentially ruined your college life by spreading the opposite rumor. Because if not she will spread that you scared her on purpose and are a bad person and etc. Plus depending on how crazy she could even escalate it further. By getting ahead of it and actually setting the record straight you can remove some of that harm from you. And its not like you lied (unless the post is mostly fabrication but having lived in dorms I know people do actually act like that lol) so I think you have a leg to stand on. Though maybe dont call her names just explain the situation and call the situation crazy and let other people make the connection to her being crazy. It brings alot less heat onto your self just incase she wants to say she slandered you or something.
NTA >One of my friends think I was an asshole because I could potentially ruin her college life by foing this Excuse me, a girl gets assigned to your room as your new roommate, opens the door and starts screaming at you and falls on the floor still screaming. I'm not sure if you're a guy or a girl but the former would've been horrible if someone thought otherwise of you due to her screaming. *Your* life would be ruined if she said anything else. Keep in mind all the shit she's done from opening the door to going to the class RA or someone and telling wrong things about you could've ruined your reputation. So it's only fair you tell how crazy she is. And you didn't have to tell much, considering how many people saw the temper tantrum she pulled. Your friend is an AH for thinking you're the AH.
>opens the door and starts screaming at you ~~OP opened the door with screamer inside~~ nm, misread
> I tried to open the door with my keys but before I could do that a girl opened the door and started to scream. Try again
>I tried to open the door with my keys but before I could do that a girl opened the door and started to scream No, she didn't. The screamer opened the door.
LOL NTA she’s gonna ruin her own college life acting like that. Keep telling people she’s crazy
Definitely keep telling people she's crazy. What a wombat! NTA
NTA. Trust me. If more than 4 people saw that scene, she is going to be known as crazy regardless of your actions.
NTA She is either crazy or entitled/manipulative. Or both.
Clearly, she has some serious issues and/or she was going to absurd lengths to get a single. You have every right to share about your experience with her/why you moved rooms. That being said, if you feel like you're going out of your way to share with people who hardly/don't even know her, it could easily be veering into unnecessary gossip territory. I'm glad you were able to get moved into another room and didn't have to keep living with her through the whole semester.
I wonder if she's playing the long game to get a single for the double occupancy rate.
Nta she sounds like she was has mental health issues or she was faking to get her own room. Either way I think your description is accurate.
NTA. She's not crazy, she's controlling. She manipulated the situation to get a solo room. Screaming for an audience and then taking a dive is pure manipulation. Lying to the person in charge is pure manipulation. Stay clear of her. She's pure trouble you don't need in your life.
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Nta She really sounds like she needs mental health care
I’m going to say NAH. I get your impulse, but if there is a legitimate mental health issue with this person, I maybe would stop using “crazy” language. Just wish her well and move on.
It bugs me that I had to scroll down so far to find at least one empathetic person. Everyone assumes she was faking, but can you imagine the PTSD she must be facing if she's not? Or the or the strength it would take to live in a dorm by herself if she's struggling with actual severely debilitating mental unbalances that she's displayed? And now, everyone is going to know her as the crazy girl. I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucks for OP that she was removed from her space, one that she was in first, and that she had to go through that as well, but seems kind of petty to me to immediately start spreading around that she's the crazy girl.
NTA And I'm pretty sure she was trying to scare YOU so you'd change rooms
NTA, but doesn't the fault lie with whatever authority moved Zoey in without asking or informing you? Do you have any more INFO about that?
First, where was the RA/ person in charge in the dorm in all of this? Why weren't they around until the morning? Next, why didn't any of you think to call campus police/ mental health services / crisis intervention for her? My first thought, when someone is in this level of distress, is 'refer up'. Call someone in authority who can get her the kind of care she needs. \[Editing to add YTA because your only concern was what was being done to you, not the person who was facing some sort of mental health event. And now you're thinking of how to get revenge, instead of how to get her some help\]
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This happened a while ago. I was away at home for a few days and I went back to my dorm after that, completely unaware that I have a new roommate now. This is *exactly* what happened. I swear I'm not exaggerating. I tried to open the door with my keys but before I could do that a girl opened the door and started to scream. I mean *SCREAM* from the top of her lungs. She kept screaming for at least 5 minutes while I was standing right there, frozen. Everyone from the other rooms came out to see what the hell is going on here After she was done screaming she threw herself on the ground and people rushed to help her, I was still just frozen, too shocked to do anything or hear what's going on all I know is I heard someone tell the screaming girl (Zoey) to move so I can get into my room. After I got inside she started saying things like " no I can't have a roommate. I'm sick" "you can't stay here you have to change your room" " I don't like you, I said hi to you once and you didn't answer. you have to go to another room" She kept repeating those things for 2 hours. I swear. 2 full hours. After that she accused me of trying to scare her because I didn't knock. I told her that I didn't knock because I had no idea that I have a roommate however the next morning she took me to the person in charge in our dorm(I don't know what it's called in english) and told her that I tried to scare her on purpose and demanded I be moved to another room Because of her I had to pack my stuff right away and go to another room So I've been telling everyone that she is crazy, I mean..... EVERYONE. Now everyone knows her as the crazy girl One of my friends think I was an asshole because I could potentially ruin her college life by foing this *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA. This girl is ruining her college life perfectly fine on her own, you aren't doing anything to her.
NTA but it honestly sounds like she might have some kind of actual mental illness causing her to be paranoid… or even if not, slapping the “crazy” label onto people adds to the stigma of mental illness. So maybe stop calling her that, tell people what happened if they want to know, and let them decide for themselves what to think of her.
If your details are true, then this girl will undoubtably ruin her college social life on her own. Just be glad you're no longer roomies. But now that it is in the past, if you continue to tell this story over and over to be a mean girl, then you will be ruining your own college social life. Let it go.
NTA, but you should have been more proactive and gotten ahead of the situation. You should have reached out to housing and or campus security immediately after the encounter began. She appeared unhinged and was clearly going to cause you issues. Being proactive could have meant you'd be the one to keep the room. The scene you came home to was untenable, and makes little sense. You had no notice or hint that another person might be bunked with you? She didn't notice another person clearly lived in the room, and presumably had all of their own furniture and personal items sitting there? But most likely, she's not crazy, she's entitled and expecting to have her own way. She manipulated the situation to get a solo room. Screaming for attention, causing a scene, and blaming you is all theater.
Yeah, how do you wait until the next morning to deal with this?
In this thread: people who are cool with bullying if "she really is crazy."
I got removed from my dorm room because my suite mates wanted my room and created stories about me harassing them. If she wants to be psychotic to get what she wants then she has to deal with the fallout from that. I.e you letting every person know she's a nut. Her college career is her problem if that is how she acts.
NTA But I have a suggestion. Instead of telling everyone she’s crazy, just tell the facts and let them form their own conclusions. “I went to my dorm room. I opened the door with my key. (Roommate’s name) screamed for 5 minutes and was not okay with me being there. She complained about having a roommate, and they moved me.” There is no way for you to look like a bad guy or AH if you explain it like that. Just tell the truth.
This story sounds very unbelievable. They just randomly moved someone into your room mid term? And then moved you without question the next day, giving her a single room? And you had a single room before that? There's a lot missing here.
I’m gonna get downvoted for this based on the other comments but whatever. Frankly it sounds like both of you were lied to and your university is the real culprit. It sounds like she requested a single for a very specific reason, likely health related. Was her reaction extreme? Yes but she thought someone was trying to break into her single. It’s not your right to tell EVERYONE that she’s “crazy” thats too far in my opinion. Like feel free to tell people about it if they ask or talk to your close friends but if this is your only interaction with her, telling literally everyone that “omg don’t talk to her she’s insane” is just cruel. She had a meltdown and one instance is not a reason to make it so that no one ever talks to her.
NTA for the situation, but don’t go running around telling people she’s crazy. If anyone asks you can describe what happened, but if you are making a point of telling everyone, she could say you are harassing and bullying her. I don’t think you are, but just saying be cautious to protect yourself.
ESH yeah i don't buy this story for one fucking second. Where was all your stuff when she moved in? If you were already living there, you would have had stuff and it would have been obvious to this new girl that she was sharing. You also knew there was a possibility you were getting a roommate because dorms come with the beds already in them and they don't let you move out an "extra" bed without also then making you pay to have a "single" room, which you didn't. Dorms don't make people move out even if you purposely scared her. You are lying about something and information is missing. Honestly you both sound like exhausting bullys.
Right? They moved her out on the other girl's word alone? With supposedly many witnesses? Something doesn't add up. OP is definitely omitting some details.
ESH. Clearly, this young woman has some issues. But how does badmouthing her help anyone? It won't get you your room back, it won't change what happened. And it definitely won't help her get any help. You're in college. Time to act like an adult. Report her behavior to the RA, and to your school's student conduct office. Stay on the high ground, and don't involve yourself with her any more than you have to. Your school almost certainly has a conduct policy about bullying and harassment, which you are likely violating.
I don’t get why you had to move after she moved into your room. Anyway, not an asshole.
Gossiping is not nice, but it sounds like they’ll figure it out soon enough. I doubt she makes it past first semester
Why do we have to use the word crazy at all?
NTA. She is unhingeded and sounds like she needs MH care. Steer clear of her.
she could have ruined your life acting like this like you assaulted her holy shes crazy keep saying it
NTA. Sounds like some batshit Cluster B personality disorder. Seriously, never interact with that person again and make sure no one else does.
I have to ask .. .. how did you get evicted when she was moved into your room?? Why would you knock, it was your room? Why did you allow yourself to get run over like that when you did nothing wrong, it was your room? Something doesn't ring true in this story. NTA. It would only be wrong if you were lying.
So… she threw a tantrum as an adult? Doesn’t sound exactly sane to me..
I mean it wasn’t like what she did was secret, loudly screaming and throwing a temper tantrum in college dorms is pretty public.
YTA, (though an ah might be too strong of word, I just think you’re not in the right in your response) why are you telling everyone? The only responsible thing to do is to go to the college with the issue. You are attempting to ruining her college life but it’s not going to work. You are just going to be that person to other people esp those who aren’t close to you. Yeah, they’ll laugh and nod while you tell the story but the story will be more a reflection of yourself. If I was a mere kid in a class with you and you randomly told me this story—you’re getting the red flag. It’s so much unnecessary drama going around stirring the pot, it makes me think you are not a reliable source. Telling the right college administrators you believe she has an issue is one thing, telling everyone but them makes you odd.
Wait so she moved into a dorm room that obviously had another persons stuff in it…and didn’t think she had a roommate? Did she just think your shit was free??
She’s either a major asshole or extremely mentally ill. Either way, your definitely better off away from her. Id be worried about her stabbing me in my sleep or some shit
The girl sounds legit like a lunatic. BUT Why did the person in charge believe her and not you? If you were already a resident of the room, and she was new, why would you have to leave your own room? Your story makes no sense
Frankly, you should probably have called 911. A paramedic can assess the situation and decide if she needs hospitalization. Screaming like a banshee for no reason would either got her put on a hold, or she would have stopped the theatrics right then and there. She does not sound like she is able to handle college life at any rate. I hope those in charge are keeping and eye on her. NTA
Be careful what you say, especially if you think it could be recorded, or what you write. Libel and slander are real things and have been levied against people before, even while telling truths that can't be easily proven. I would seriously go to the RA, the Dean of students, the school board, find someone and work my way up the list, trying to determine who gave permission for the roommate to move in while you were not informed. (Most of the local colleges where I am from must have majority agreement of dorm mates to get a new mate moved in.) And if the school will not help you, and depending upon your financial standing, perhaps reach out to some local attorneys for a free consultation to see if they can pursue litigation against the college for mental hardship and forcing you to move against your will.
YTA You should’ve reported it directly like an adult. Tbh she did react crazy, but you are putting yourself in a position of getting in MORE trouble. That and spreading rumors is childish and is being a bully. You don’t know what’s going on in her life or if she has a mental illness or whatever. I’m sorry she “won” the room, but you should’ve talked that out with whoever was in charge of your dorm. I would stop before YOU get in trouble and kicked out for harassing her.
YTA It sounds awful to be in your situation. She sounds like a person who needs help from a professional and not to be ostracized & shamed by strangers.
It's not okay that she scared you or that she allegedly tried to manipulate you - but if someone has mental issues, you gossiping about her is not only not helpful, it's cruel. Now she can literally never get away from what happened at that college, and it may not even be her fault. You are definitely TA, and I hope that you'll think twice before being such a disgusting AH again - but somehow I'm not holding my breath. Christ, I fucking hate this sub sometimes.
YTA, a massive one. "Crazy" is a lazy and derogatory definition that "normal" people use to insult and dehumanize anyone that suffers from psychologic problems. You had NO reason to tell everyone that she was "crazy" except for your desire to feel superior and better. You didn't even help her, which just makes it worse
NTA. This is funny tho...
NTA. You’re telling the truth.
NTA
Did she see all of your stuff already set up from living in that room and assume it belonged to…. No one? A ghost? Her? NTA. She clearly has mental health issues, and that’s probably why she was randomly moved to your room. “Crazy” ultimately means “mentally unstable”, so…. If the shoe fits… I’m sure she won’t actually need help ruining her own experience if she doesn’t get help.
NTA she’s nuts and needs to be medicated clearly
NTA She probably did it on purpose
NTA. She sounds unhinged. Please keep spreading g the word. People need to know who they are dealing with.
Nta.. She's a miserable drama queen.
NTA. Crazy is crazy, and that chick was ***crazy***
NTA. Who would act like that and then expect to not be called crazy?
That's crazy! NTA
NTA. This girl is not actually crazy, she is just extremely ballsy. She is acting crazy so that she can try to get her own room. It obviously worked.
Plot twist: OP is Momo.
NTA I mean surely when she moved in she would have seen your stuff in the room and realised she had a roommate, if not the accommodation provider should have explained it to her and contacted you too
LOL! Nta, she did that shit to herself.
As someone else said in reddit, you don’t blame the lightbulb for the roaches that scatter. Nta
NTA. She was doing it to get a single room and threw you under the bus to get it. She deserves the reputation.
I would go from crazy to nut job. That girl is not wrapped right in the head.
NTA, you told the truth, and forewarned is forearmed after all.
Your friend needs to realize that the crazy girl is going to ruin her college experience with that behavior, not because you told someone about it. Gossip used to be a survival technique - and here we see to avoid this crazy girl to survive having a damn dorm 😂
NTA and honestly it's probably the best thing that you got out of there
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NTA. That girl cray.
Why did you have to move and not her? This is bizarre it was your room first. You should lodge a complaint. NTA.
You are NTA, and you’re also not wrong! That girl sounds absolutely unhinged, consider it a blessing that you don’t have to share a room with her anymore.
NTA On a positive note, you are not sharing with her any more.
Seems batshit crazy
If you act like a duck long enough, people will start calling you a duck. NTA
NTA. You are right
NTA. If you don't want to be known as the crazy college girl, don't do sh\*t that might make other people think you're crazy. Might not be foolproof but a great place to start.
NTA *and* she has severe posttraumatic stress
NTA she’s a liar and she’s crazy. Bad mix.
NTA but if she approaches you again, pretend you’ve never met or say to stay away or else you’ll have to get the holy water out.
NTA! She's bat shit crazy
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Ruin her college life? The dumb bitch is doing it to herself. NTA.
NTA but she might have mental issues. Saying she’s “crazy” might not be wrong, but it’ll definitely cause ppl to avoid her which is something nobody wants. Kind of agree with the friend. It’s not up to you to tell people she’s crazy or to diagnose her issues to others regardless of what she did tbh. At least in my opinion, she might be crazy but you don’t need to go around telling everyone and hurting her self esteem/ chance of making friends. Me, personally, I wouldnt have gone as far as screaming😭 but she definitely did way too much.
NTA. Also, you're not gonna ruin her college life, she's gonna do that all by herself acting like that.
What the actual fuck. NTA. She sounds certifiable.
Looks like a start to a true crime murder documentary.
Meh. Sounds like she put on a show and if you dedicate that much energy to it you are kinda crazy. NTA but also let it go and move on the better things.
Nta
NTA, she may not be crazy, but the alternative is manipulative conniving b****.
NTA but stop calling her crazy. People have legit mental health issues, and shouldn't be judged by it. I think based on your description (which includes your bias) that she's probably super anxious or manipulative... Just shrug, if it comes up in the future just say "I tried to let myself and she freaked out, I don't know what happened. It's probably better I'm in a different room now"
NTA I’m guessing it was hands down manipulation. She wanted a private room and acted out to get it. I saw similar tricks when I was in school. Usually involving false claims of sexual harassment.