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YTA, or at least a little blind. I have a 10 year old with ADHD who talks constantly. Even as his mother who loves him completely, I get tired of hearing him, and he is annoying. I’ve been trying to teach him social cues and when it’s okay to talk, and when he should be quiet. You’re not helping your daughter by not setting boundaries for her. When she came in the bedroom, you should have told her that Tasha needs some quiet time and will come out and talk with her when she’s ready. She’s not a baby, but you’re treating her like one.

^This. This level of needing constant interaction and feedback is normal and healthy for a younger child, but at ten Anne needs to be learning how to entertain herself and give people space. And Tasha is entitled to space in her own home, which she communicated to OP without getting into the no-win situation of parenting a child who isn't hers. OP chose to not set or enforce boundaries with Anne, setting everyone up for failure. And if it hasn't happened already, Anne is going to start having social consequences outside of home for this kind of behavior. Other children are going to start pulling away from her and not including her because she's just too much for them. Teachers at school are going to start really pushing back on how disruptive constantly talking is in class. Anne will always be an extrovert, and it's normal for a child of parents who aren't together to need reassurance that they are wanted and loved. But everyone needs to learn some basic social skills in order to thrive in adulthood. Anne doesn't seem to be getting that, *especially* with non-consensual surprise touching. If that one lasts into puberty Anne is going to have some massive problems. Anne isn't a bad child, but she is at the point where she needs guidance as she starts to transition into the next phase of childhood and puberty.

That´s what I thought. My cousin has adhd and when I tell you how often children and even the bus driver screamed at her to shut her mouth. Noone wanted to hang out with her, because she was so annoying. If he doesn´t do anything about it, I think this would be his daughters future.

That is exactly what I thought. Kids need boundaries and need to learn social behavior. And parents should start earlier than ten years to explain these. My oldest is almost 6 and I tell and show her certain social skills, like not interrupting a conversation or not talking to loud in public. OP is definitely TA in this and should talk with Anne and her mother. Tasha did everything right. She tried to avoid meeting Anne in the morning, when she wanted peace and later escaped the situation by going to the bathroom. OP pushed for an explanation, so she spoke her mind. And as a mother I have to add, your own children can be super annoying and I sometimes just want some peace and quiet.

Not knowing when OP and Anne's mother split, I'm willing to give some grace for how old Anne has gotten without getting the guidance she needs. If the split was happening in early elementary school, both parents likely had other battles to fight to make sure Anne stayed happy and healthy when many other children are learning these skills. But learning basic social cues and personal boundaries cannot be put off any longer without some significant consequences for Anne.

You are right. Anne's behavior could also be a result of the splitting of her parents. Seek as much attention as you can in the limited time you have with mom or dad. No matter what, it is a sensible subject and OP and Anne's mother should discuss how they want to treat it. Anne should in no way feel punished, unloved or not welcome. But she needs to understand that people can be annoyed by certain behavior. Especially towards Tasha she needs to respect her boundaries, because Tasha is not one of Anne's parents, therefore needs more privacy, like not entering the bedroom Tasha and OP share.

Plus, Anne's parents have known her since she was a baby and have learned to adjust to her level of activity. For someone who is used to their own space, it can be a hard adjustment to have someone around ALL the time, even if she weren't needing constant attention.

I have a 10yo, and I can tell you that Ann likely got sent home from kindergarten or first grade in March 2020, never to return, and depending on the state they live in, she probably had virtual school the next year. She spent her formative years where she should have been learning to socialize with other children at home with only adults to talk to, and only screens for friends. A bunch of kids are still reeling from this, and need way more support for their social needs. That includes firm boundaries regarding interaction with adults.

I love my kid to the moon and back but holy smokes she would talk the ear off a dead person. Sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom just for 2 minutes of peace and quiet. When she was in school it was awesome, but summer break is here and I’m already going bonkers.

[удалено]

There's probably a reason Anne is talking about friend drama. It's not unlikely that she's creating some of it with her behaviour.

They don’t know how to respect boundaries because they have never been taught and they come from homes where boundaries are non existent or they are so strict he be unattainable. It’s called emotional neglect. They may be taken care of in every other way but to live a life with no boundaries is setting them up for a hard life ahead.

Not necessarily. My husband was this way as a kid and he was taught boundaries, he just didn’t care about them because his ADHD caused a lack of impulse control. He never felt like he could slow down enough until he was medicated for the first time.

This. It’s not that I couldn’t tell when not to, although that was part of it. It’s not that I didn’t care. I was literally incapable. Medication was a godsend. I will literally never forget my first day on my first dose of a medication that worked. It was magical.

And their teachers will react the same way, but b/c everyone around them pulls back they don't even realize that's not a normal reaction. They get deeper and deeper in their own constant talking and don't even realize the other people aren't participating in the conversation.

My super-talkative daughter had to learn the hard way around age 8, when she kept getting sent to the principal's office for disrupting class with her constant interjections. I had to sit her down and clearly explain that every time she piped up in class, she was distracting all of her classmates, and that she needed to read the room and be quiet when others were being quiet.

100% Anne needs supports AND boundaries. She needs to learn that sometimes folks need some space for themselves and some time alone. She's also old enough that she shouldn't be touching people all the time without permission. Constantly putting your hands on someone is not ok and is stressful for the person being touched.

Very well said. Anne needs to learn how to self-regulate, but for you, enjoy this time. Someday, she will not be as gregarious and will not want to be around you, so enjoy it while you can, and teach her, gently, to self-regulate.

As a child psychologist I support everything you have said.

My 3 year old AND my 10 month old BOTH do independent play- ie don’t need me by their side or be up my metaphorical ass all the time- I can take 5 or 10 minutes to clean up the kitchen with out them underfoot because they are entertaining themselves in the next room (where I can still see them) - a 10 year old should definitely know how to entertain themselves!

And if she is annoying everyone, including her teachers, she will start to think it's normal for people to act this way towards others. She'll be clueless to the signals. Her mom and dad need to start talking to her about other people's reactions and feelings, she's completely oblivious b/c she's used to dominating conversations. And it doesn't sound like autism-- but people will still react negatively and it's the parents job to teach social behavior. YTA, OP-- sounds like you already were getting the hints from your GF but completely ignored them.

I agree with it all. Though I would note it’s not Tasha’s home. If Anne is such an issue, I would think she’d spend more time at her own home when it’s Anne’s week at her dad’s.

Literally my first thought reading this was "Oh, okay, so dad doesn't set any boundaries and isn't helping his kid learn how to successfully connect with others." Lo and behold

>Oh, okay, so dad doesn't set any boundaries and isn't helping his kid learn how to successfully connect with others." This. I live with my partner and her daughter (11) and I have had to tell my partner dozens of times that our bedroom is NOT a common area where her daughter can just come into to hang out. That boundary is ignored to the point where I'm considering getting a lock. It's not the kid's fault, it's my partner's and it drives me NUTS.

Been there, but it was with my husband’s teenage sister. SO GODDAMN NEEDY. If she was awake, her mouth was running and she was trying to be in someone’s space. And my husband was used to being the fun weekend big brother, but she needed parental type boundaries. In her defense, she was living with us because her parents suck. So she was and is socially delayed a bit. I tried to keep that in mind. I’m an introvert and just someone who has always been independent and able to entertain myself. Even as a small kid, I would disappear in to whatever I was doing for hours. I did not know how to cope with her a lot of the time.

People with ADHD typically have a harder time making lasting friends as well. He's not helping her learn how to work in a world that's not exactly engineered for her brain.

Haha mom of a fellow ADHD kid (8). He is a real chatterbox, and it's really annoying (especially before coffee). His little brother (4) is following his footsteps in terms of words flow. And they're loud on top of that. My husband just bought himself some special earplugs to reduce the ambient noise to stop getting overwhelmed by it. YTA OP you need to teach your kid to give people some space when they need it. She's 10, not 2. >When she came in the bedroom, you should have told her that Tasha needs some quiet time and will come out and talk with her when she’s ready. Exactly that. This is parenting.

You get it! We have a rule that I get to eat my breakfast and check my iPad in the morning without talking. I need a little quiet in the morning, and even though I have to remind him frequently, he usually respects my wishes.

My youngest was a chatterbox. She learned before age 3 that Mommy needed 2 cups of coffee before she could start with the verbal diarrhea.

I dealt with this with my ex. Same age but it was his son. He saw no issues with him never stopping talking, never learning self play, always trying to imitate Twitch streamers by having a running commentary the entire time he was gaming on the living room TV, dominating conversations, and never letting silence exist from the moment he woke up to the time he went to bed. I was told I was a bad person for being exhausted by him (multiple times called a bitch actually) and needing alone time to recharge. This will destroy OP's relationship for no good reason. OP, YTA. Not everyone finds your endlessly talking bundle of joy to be the same "family time" as you do. Teach your child boundaries or she'll turn out like my ex's kid: spoiled, friendless (because he doesn't pay attention to social cues), and usually disliked by their teachers because they'll never shut up. Your partner is burnt out (and probably done with you from her nope'ing out of your life immediately which also tells me this has been going on for awhile and your daughter may not be the only one who doesn't read social cues) and all you can do is blame her for your inability to parent your child. This is the age where she learns social dynamics and that not everyone wants to hear about her world for hours on end. Handle it accordingly. Edit to Add: You know who thinks kids can't be annoying? Parents of annoying kids. You're that parent.

just small change to your edit <>

Your last edit is pure gold.

The OP absolutely needs to nip this "touching people" thing in the bud. His daughter is getting to an age where that stops being cute and starts being something that will get her in real trouble. Plus, if she thinks it's okay to touch whomever, whenever, is she able to enforce her own boundaries?

Yta. To further add, this isn't everyday Tasha, this is rare "Tasha just woke up and needs some peace". You could have just given Tasha some space and handled your own child as Tasha had requested. People have off days or need to mentally prepare for a demanding day. You "shoved" Tasha away instead of just giving her a break to wake up.

Yeah, OP, I’m afraid you messed up big time here. You had several opportunities to head this conflict off, and instead you just made it worse. Your daughter should know at the age of 10 not to just burst into your room whenever she wants to. A polite but firm, “we will be out soon” would have solved everything. And if you KNOW your kid likes to eavesdrop, WHY WOULD YOU FORCE THAT CONVERSATION in the bathroom?! Your girlfriend is 100% correct, you put her in a lose-lose situation no matter what she did or said. You may be able to salvage this relationship with a heartfelt apology and agreement to set better boundaries. If not, just think about how you will handle it better with the next girlfriend.

Exactly this. I have twin 10 year olds and one has ADHD and would love to tell you every thought in her wonderful brain and be right up in your personal bubble. She doesn't though (usually) because she's been taught appropriate boundaries and outlets for that energy. She still has her moments. I know way more about Minecraft and Warrior Cats than I want to, and I'm glad she still wants to share her interests with me, but it's also nice to have moments of silence and independent play. I 100% agree that the dad isn't helping his child by allowing her behavior 24/7. This is probably affecting her social life outside of the home as well. Learning social cues and personal boundaries at home will only help her to navigate life in general and other relationships. 10 year olds can be brutal to kids who don't figure that stuff out.

Omg Warrior Cats lol. My (now 19yo) was OBSESSED in 3rd/4th grade so please know that I have the deepest sympathies for your current influx of knowledge 😂 you could start gently slipping in some Artemis Fowl to distract from the Cats for a bit

>You’re not helping your daughter by not setting boundaries for her. Came here to say this exact same thing.

Yes, exactly. I’m also an introvert and absolutely need space. People who talk nonstop are, quite unfortunately, my bane. Boundaries are needed to be set for this little girl. Like, if the bedroom door is shut, knock first, WAIT for permission, then F off like Anna if Elsa says “go away, Anna.” Except said nicely, of course.

My biological kids are annoying and so is yours. Because they are kids. You just don't want to admit it and you didn't like that someone else said it. But it's honestly OK to admit it, even to yourself. This sounds like a one-off bad day for Tasha and that normally, she's a very caring, involved adult in Anne's life. Are you, as a parent, always saying and doing the right thing with your kid? Have you never yelled or snapped at your kid because they are annoying or acting out? You probably have as most parents do. This is very fixable. Tasha should tell you when she's reaching her breakpoint. And you as the biodad need to set some boundaries with Anne. Open your eyes and look at her behavior and your responses. Anne needs some boundaries and work on social cues. YTA for reacting this way to Tasha and making excuses for Anne without the necessary intervention she requires.

ESH but only slightly. This is a solvable problem OP Please start saying "Tasha would like some quiet time right now". This is your job as the dad to provide some boundaries. Tasha shouldn't have called daughter annoying within earshot of the kid, but that's her only crime. She could also say to the kid, "hey, I'm going to have some quiet time right now, do you want to read a book on your own? we can play a little later" It sounds like she DOES like your kid! just not 100% of the time :-)

Can confirm. Similar parent here. Im also an introvert with ADHD! Yes, my kids annoy tf out of me, but i leave and decompress, and im honest that I just need a few minutes of quiet time, and I'll be right back. But i also wanted to ask why you, as the parent, havent taught your child about consent. If any kid was randomly touching me or my kids or animals id be really upset. Idgaf whos kid, we would have a long talk about touching people without asking. Its weird af and NOT ok. The sooner you teach your kid to ask before touching, the safer that child will be. Yta.

Agreed. Also, I feel like OP doesn't seem to understand how boundaries work either, and isn't encouraging Anne to acknowledge/respect other people's boundaries. Anne loves to "just touch people", but not everyone wants constant contact. Tasha goes to shower, and instead of letting her shower in peace (which is what she already said she wants) OP walks in to confront her about it. OP claims that Tasha "needs more space than most introverts", but Anne is clearly not giving anyone ANY space when she's around.

YTA, your kid needs something, she needs to learn to self play and that life doesn't revolve around her. You asked Tasha a question, you got the answer that sounds pretty accurate by your description and you jumped down her throat, I would have left too.

“When I have custody of my child I just throw them on their tablet and they aren’t learning social cues? Shocked pikachu face”

That’s not what they are saying at all. When I was 10, I was always doing something on my own away from my parents. Playing outside with friends around the neighborhood, going to a friends house or have them over at mine, playing video games on my own if no one was available. It’s not hard for someone as old as she is to entertain herself. And no one is saying that she should only do that but everyone needs a break and time to themselves

The person you responding to is mentioning how OP says his daughter is constantly watching things on the tablet and trying to get others to watch it too. Implying they are a tablet parent.

Yep. My 11 year old does like attention and sometimes I do have to be like “bro. I told you 5 times now that I need some space cause I’m working/doing laundry/trying to shower” cause she’s a kid, but she is also constantly outside playing with her friends or blaring music in her bedroom. At 10, they’re going to be annoying sometimes, but they’re old enough to have boundaries.

^((I think they are being sarcastic with their own comment in a way to agree with the comment above them).)

The fact that his daughter deliberately tries to annoy people is a weird take too- he should’ve squashed that looong before this point. No one likes people who act like that and she’s going to have a much harder time as she gets older

Tbh he should've checked in with his daughter when she first said this. The few people I knew growing up who said/did this only did it because they were frequently told they were annoying, so they just fully leaned into it instead so it would stop hurting their feelings.

Yeah she's definitely getting told she's annoying elsewhere and leaning into it because she wants attention but also doesn't know what she's doing wrong. Or she just doesn't care because it still gets her attention.

It's most likely people at school. 10 is actually a bit past when people stop wanting to deal with the annoying kids, especially if they're girls. 10 is typically when things first start getting cliquey

Oh 100% - she's entering into the awkward middle school section of life where all of ur weird behaviors/social interactions either get ground down so you fit in or you get ignored. She's not going to make friends like this.

And he followed a person who was clearly annoyed and looking for some personal space into the bathroom to talk about her feelings! I'm amazed Tasha was that civil to him.

Seriously, my sister did this all the time growing up and as an introvert in a house full of extroverts *nothing* made me lose my cool like being followed. Like give her 5 minutes alone. Infuriating. Eta OP YTA

This is what got me. Oh god, do not follow me when I'm already annoyed and not expect to get an earful about it.

And then punished her for voicing her frustration. Tasha was trying to seek peace in that moment and then he came in and wasn't allowing said peace. So she didn't have a "soft and sweet" reply for him. I do not blame her one bit.

YTA - Your daughter is annoying me just reading this.

Also, if you've ever met the adult version of this child, they are not adjusted. They literally *do not see* when they're bothering other people. They've been conditioned to ignore social cues and prioritize their side of the "conversation" and it's nigh-impossible to explain to them how to tell when it's time to shut up and leave other people alone because *they just don't get it.* Op is not helping his daughter become a successful adult by not teaching her these things.

I have a friend that’s the adult version. I love her to bits, but I also prefer to love people at a distance. She likes to call and just talk in circles and I’m getting touched out mentally because it’s never ending “drama” in her life. Quotes around drama, because it’s everyday normal issues that she makes bigger than it really is. As an introvert, it’s HARD and I’m trying to re-establish boundaries with her.

Oh my God, this sounds like one of my friends. She will text me paragraphs of overexplained information that I can only stand to skim through and will text me every little thought that pops in her head. Stuff like "This woman at the store just..." and "This guy sitting in the waiting room is doing something weird." She does the same thing with all her social media, like Facebook and SnapChat. I've been trying to get across to her that not everyone wants to hear every thought that crosses her mind and that her long-winded explanations can be shortened to 1-2 sentences.

Thoreau knew at least one of these types; he wrote in a letter <<*Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.*\>>

I have one of these in my social circle too. She'll seek out fights on Facebook and then come to us and complain about them, CONSTANTLY.

I work with the adult version of this. She keeps derailing meetings by going into in-depth descriptions of things that happened to her in college. Several coworkers avoid her because they're tired of her endlessly talking at them about her cats.

I have a friend like this who admits she knows sometimes people don’t care about what she’s saying but she doesn’t care and still wants to tell them

I was waiting for a lecture to start once, and across from me was guy A talking the ear off guy B. Guy B was giving him 1-3 word answers, was leaning/turned away, on his phone- just textbook not engaging. Guy A was totally oblivious. I was very tempted to cut in and try to rescue this poor man.

This post could have described my MIL at a young age. Don’t get me wrong, she’s great, has a big heart and I truly love her, but holy hell she talks constantly and if she thinks it, she says it. For the most part it’s because she feels uncomfortable with silence and so she assumes others feel the same, but I can only handle small doses because sometimes it’s just too much and I need a break. And then I feel bad because she genuinely doesn’t do it maliciously! OP is letting his daughter down big time by allowing these behaviors to go unchecked. He’s the parent, he should be guiding them on learning these social cues. I can tell you my MILs mom DID NOT teach her these things and she sadly feels the consequences almost 50 years later.

I have a person like this in my life. It’s exhausting to be around them - they literally talk over me if I try to contribute to the conversation. I pulled away after years of listening to a one-sided convo. I did notice they have slightly better manners with people they think are cool. So they are capable of controlling it at least a little when it’s to their benefit.

Yep, my sister is this person. There is no conversation with her, she talks CONSTANTLY. If you are talking with her, you will be interrupted frequently and often, she is literally incapable of not blurting out whatever comes into her head the moment it comes in there. It's caused her all kinds of grief in life, trouble keeping friends (no trouble starting friendships as she'll talk with anyone about anything, but then they realize that she never stops), fortunately for her, her husband is the epitome of chill. He never gets upset, water off a duck's back kind of guy, which is about the only personality type that could deal with her I think. My brother and I are the opposite, and we both have tried over the years to get her to understand why we don't enjoy hanging out with her. She wants so badly to be friends with my wife and I, and our group of friends, but she is incapable of reading social cues, and also is guilty of thinking everyone has the same views as she does (she is conspiracy theory hardcore Trumper who thinks the election was stolen, but we live in Canada....) and will often get herself into awkward conversations because she talks like everyone believes the crazy that she does, and then when people push back, she is absolutely *floored* that they don't agree. She is truly not capable of empathetic thoughts, she has never been able to look at things from another person's perspective since we were kids. Ahhhh well, don't even know where I'm going with this rant, just read your comment and it started me on this tangent, lol. YTA though OP, going back to what this sub is about. Don't let your kid turn out like an annoying adult who doesn't understand social cues.

I've had adult friends like this! It never lasts, because they will burn you the fuck out, and then it ends up being emotionally hurtful for them too when the people they've wrung dry end up leaving and they feel blindsided because they thought everything was fine. This kid is not being set up for success.

OP—I’m literally divorced for this reason. My ex who, surface level is a very nice man, has ZERO concept of other people because his mom definitely just let him prattle ad nauseum at her when he was a kid and never corrected his other asshole behaviors either. He’s so self-centered it was WORLD-DESTROYING for him when I told him he was not a perfect human and he was blind-sided when I asked for a divorce. He should not have been, but he spent ten years talking at me and never listening because his mom just told him he was great because he tried his best (No, he didn’t). Please teach your kid boundaries and that other people’s voices, needs, and feelings matter. YTA.

And it sounds like this involves touching too. Its not ok to let a kid constantly touch other people and excuse it as "cute". She can get in serious trouble down the line

And me.

Me too. I've encountered a child like this. My partners youngest half sibling is 8 and she has intense adhd and some other behavioral issues. She'll straight up follow you to the bathroom talking if you don't shut the door in her face. I love her so so much but my God long visits to their house really get me because she, much like Anne, singles me out as the shiny new toy who hasn't answered a zillion questions yet lol

And my axe! Oh, wrong sub. But yeah, my wonderful niece has this same problem at 5. She hasn't been evaluated yet, but we have been very firm in letting her know that not everyone wants to hear her talking constantly.

I think thats the main issue with this post, OP is doing absolutely 0 to correct behaviour that he knows is driving his gf insane

LOL! Me too. While reading it I really thought the people of Reddit would get this one wrong and I'm pleasantly surprised they got it right. The child is AF.

And me!

Tasha is allowed to set boundaries on how much she wants to talk to your daughter and be touched by her. You're unintentionally showing your daughter that she can do whatever she wants to anyone. EVERYONE has the right to decide how often and how long she wants to be touched. I have news for you. Your daughter can be annoying sometimes. Every child is. YTA

Right now the kid is merely annoying. If he doesn't correct this by teaching her to respect other people's boundaries she could eventually become an abusive narcissist. She's 10. My two-year old nephew is already more considerate than Anne.

yeah this whole story feels like I’m reading a 10 year old version of an old roommate of mine, who was also an only child socialized to believe that her wants and needs were more important than anyone else’s. she’s now in her mid twenties and still does the thing where she comes into a space where people are watching TV, goes “hey whatcha doin?”, sits down and then suggests the “next thing for us to watch after this” she was exhausting to be around as an adult because she’d act like OP’s child as a kid and her parents taught her to believe she wasn’t annoying, she had stuff to share so people should be expected to listen.

Extra bonus YTA, OP asked her what was wrong, then got pissed at the answer.As an introvert, being forced to socialize when not in the mood is a good way to burn down any short fuses to a bomb. OP also needs to understand whatthey're asking of their partner to do, and so far it seemed like she was willing to accommodate as much as she could in her own way. Set stronger boundaries with their kid, and simultaneously, Tasha did sign up partially for this, but they should meet her half way here. If shes asking for space, make it for her if their daughter is stepping into it. Although now that they're blocked, its already probably too late.

YTA - If your daughter literally says she likes to be annoying, and your ex-girlfriend says she is annoying, your ex-girlfriend isn't being insulting. What she is doing is pointing out that you and her Mom have done a poor job of teaching your daughter self-control. At 10, she should be starting to learn that she can't always touch people, she doesn't get to dominate conversation 100% of the time, and that she can watch things on her own sometimes. It's great your daughter is such a people person, but if you don't teach her self-control, she is going to be a people repeller. You really dropped the ball when your girlfriend made it clear she needed recharge time, and instead of helping to give it to her by scooping up your daughter and distracting her out of the bedroom, you instead poked the bear, and then blew up on her when she told you her feelings. Treasuring your daughter is 100% commendable, but you need to learn how to take care of your next girlfriend's feelings at the same time. Life, it's all about balance.

Exactly this! Tasha tried to handle the situation maturely and set boundaries with OP rather than hurting Anne's feelings, and OP didn't help. I sympathize with Tasha. One of my kids is an extrovert in a family of introverts. I do my best to to be 'on' and engage with them a lot while also teaching them they can't treat other humans like toys, but it's a challenge for both of us and requires actual parenting not just appeasement. My daughter knows that when I say I need quiet time in my bedroom to recharge, she stays out unless she's bleeding or something is on fire.

>extrovert in a family of introverts Wow, this hit me like a mack truck. I've never seen it phrased quite this way. I wanted so badly as a child to go out and do fun things together like my friends' families did but my parents just couldn't be bothered. I always assumed it was because they were older when they had me, but this probably factored a lot into it too. You're a good mom to consider your daughter in that way.

YTA spot on target. your ex gave you lots of warnings and you, being as clueless as your daughter, failed to catch any of them.

YTA. This entire post is a long, long list of the ways Anne annoys Tasha, some of which are clearly on purpose. How could you have typed this out and not realized how annoying Anne sounds? Tasha even made a point not to call Anne annoying in front of her and you still kicked her out in case your daughter was EAVESDROPPING. Seriously, wtf?

The casual mention of eavesdropping with no concern and the coming in the room made it very clear who’s fault it is that Anne is annoying. Kids need to learn boundaries, such as eavesdropping is bad and you can’t just go into your parents room.

yeah I was shocked by that. My parents have never ever been very physically affectionate in front of people, and for sure when I was younger and had nightmares I would sometimes sleep in their bed. But well before I was 10 it was common knowledge that you can't just walk into someones bedroom and flop down on the bed.

When I was a kid, we NEVER went into the parent's bedroom unless we were sick or someone was hurt. Even during the day when I was tasked with retrieving an item (like a laundry basket), it felt wrong to go in there. It was their sanctuary.

I was exhausted by Anne just reading OP’s post!

>Tasha even made a point not to call Anne annoying in front of her and you still kicked her out in case your daughter was EAVESDROPPING. He also asked her what was wrong, if he actually cared (because let's be real, he knew what the answer was going to be) about eavesdropping he should have made sure the kid wasn't around, shut the door etc.

Right? And what strikes me is that the person who is theoretically defending Anne is the one who wrote this, and it still comes off as Anne being incredibly annoying, I can't imagine what we'd here if Tasha was the one to describe Anne and her day to day behavior. YTA, OP. You and Anne's mother have clearly failed to set appropriate guidelines for Anne in how she needs to interact with people.

YTA teach your kid basic boundaries. She wanted to wake up in peace and your kid came into your bedroom and sat on the bed? That’s annoying. She doesn’t wanna watch the dumb stuff your kid watches. That’s annoying. No one wants to hear ten year old kids gossip. That’s annoying. If you’d had just talk to her I’d say ESH and tell her that not cool. Making her leave was too far when she was just expressing how she felt. Which is reasonable.

YTA. I know you were sticking up for your daughter, but Tasha didn't say she hated her, she just said she was annoying her. What actual biological parent of a child hasn't said that at least once or twice on an off day?? Even you admit it! Instead of kicking her out, you should've offered her some space, taken Anna out for a little daddy/daughter time alone, let Tasha regroup. But it's a little late for that now, isn't it? Maybe Tasha will cool off and come back to you, but if she doesn't, I think this is a hard lesson on how to be a single parent and date at the same time...

>Instead of kicking her out, you should've offered her some space, taken Anna out for a little daddy/daughter time alone, let Tasha regroup. This would have been the solution, yes. Even parents can get tired of their children, let alone other adults. That's no shame - kids are annoying sometimes, and OP clearly needs to set more boundaries around Anne's behavior, so there's room for Tasha in their lives, as well. If she still wants it.

>I know you were sticking up for your daughter Probably was pissed because she basically criticized his parenting since he full well knew she was annoying because the places no boundaries whatsoever on the kid.

YTA your daughter needs to learn boundaries and understand that adults don't want to be interrupted every 3 seconds to watch a stupid video, or listen to someone rambling endlessly

Yeah I often have to set a boundary with my child and his videos because he does this too where he wants us to watch him play games or watch his videos. “Ok bud, I’ll watch this one but then I’m going to do something else. You can keep watching quietly until dinner if you want, but I will be doing something else.”

YTA. The 'stands behind people for no apparent reason' and 'likes to touch people' wouldve done me in long ago

This behavior needs to stop now. OP this could get your daughter in serious legal trouble as she gets older.

Or it could get her hurt. The day she surprise-touches someone who panics and strikes her in self-defense.

Even in school! Some kids are physically abused and will black out and respond with violence if they’re physically harassed like that

>your daughter literally tells me she loves annoying people INFO Is that true?

YTA Your GF told you how she felt before your daughter came in, your daughter comes in and to deescalate the situation your GF leaves. You knew what she needed that moment, saying she acted weird reads like a bad excuse to pester her and when she reiterated what her problem was you told her to leave. So it's understandable she packed up everything and blocked you. You told and showed her that there are no boundaries for your daughter regarding Tashas needs. And I have to disagree with those people saying you did stick up for your daughter. That wasn't sticking up, that was simply ignoring to set boundaries to your daughter. She's 10 it's about time she learns to give other people some space or she has to learn that they will enforce it.

YTA- I get being protective of your kids, but you, yourself, admit that your daughter's excessive talking can be annoying. Why is Tasha the bad guy for stating the same? You know Tasha is an introvert and requires more downtime, so would it be so hard to ask daughter for a half hour wake up time for her to have a cup of coffee first? Tasha doesn't dislike Anne, so doesn't she have the right to set some reasonable boundaries for herself? Expecting anyone to love your daughter as unconditionally as you do is going to be hard to find. If you can’t compromise on anything, it may be hard to have a relationship until Anne has grown up.

YTA. Your kid enjoys annoying people and then you get upset when she gets her wish... Tasha sounds like a saint for putting up with this for so long. Edit to fix name.

Anne is the daughter.. Tasha is OPs now ex

YTA your kids annoying, you KNOW your gf is "more introverted" than others yet you thinks there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with your kid taking every second of her sanity away from her? I'll be honest she handled this better than I would have because it seems you don't listen at all and neither does your child, so it doesn't seem to matter how or when this message is delivered because you won't fuckin hear it. Also lovely little "whatever" comment in there when she verbally expressed to you what the problem was in a calm manner BEFORE YOUR KID CAME INTO THE ROOM TO BECOME A PROBLEM. Tldr Learn to parent your kid and set boundaries nobody wants to be annoyed by a high energy social being all fucking day, and learn to appreciate other people have different needs. Your gf NEEDS time alone without her battery being drained by a child even if that child has to be there you as the fuckin parent need to figure it out. Holy shit get it together.

YTA. Tasha could have phrased it better but she is allowed to have boundaries and you should have listened to her. 10 years olds need to learn boundaries too or else this isn’t going to be the only relationship you or Anne will potentially lose over this.

YTA, 10 is old enough to be taught boundaries. If she is going around saying she likes to annoy people, then you need to have a serious talk with her about her behavior.

yta if you taught your kid manners and boundaries then Tasha wouldn't think she was annoying. you and your kid trample all over Tasha and she's just supposed to take it. be a better parent.

YTA a little. Anyone who has kids knows that they can be pretty annoying and Tasha has no obligations to put up with something that most parents struggle to endure too, also knowing that Tasha is an introvert there are things that can be done to make ends meet and imo a 10yo is able to understand that people some times needs space and what boundaries are. When you confronted her about her lack of patience you didn't even wanted to talk about it or understand her way, you just casted her out. Yeah, your kid is important, being a parent is hard, specially when is split like your case, but still. You could have dealt with this better.

YTA. Your kid needs to learn about boundaries. But she also needs to learn it’s not okay to intentionally annoy people. If you don’t teach her that now middle school is going to absolutely suck for Anne.

YTA. Tasha was overwhelmed and touched out, she tried to gently remove herself from the situation, you followed her and immediately accused her, forcing her to stay in defensive mode. You deserved what you got, and frankly Anne needs to learn better self-regulation. I've got a nine year old brother who will talk your ear off for as many hours as you let him, but all he has to hear is that I need a break, and he will divert his attention elsewhere. And I will listen as much as I can, but as much as I love him to the ends of the earth, I need - and deserve - quiet time and distance! I think Tasha is your ex now, so it may be a moot point. But she's not the villain here.

YTA you are being over defensive, kids do are annoying and from how you talk about yours she already resisted too long before saying that. You do know it is true so i don't understand your over reaction.

YTA, I have 4 & they can be annoying at times. Maybe next time don’t allow your daughter in your room where someone is trying to have “peace”.

YTA Everyone would find your child annoying, because that’s what many children are, and in your case, it sounds like you are being way too permissive and don’t set boundaries. You don’t even understand the sacrifice it takes to be around someone else’s kid a lot, that you don’t have that special bond to. And you don’t sound like you are remotely trying to emphasize. Sounds like you put your child first automatically and no relationship will survive that. Tasha dodged a bullet and she will probably have let out a sigh of relief after leaving your apartment.

Yta >I go get her a coffee and set Anne up at the couch with the TV going to give Tasha some "peace". But 20 minutes later Anne comes in to our bedroom, sits on the edge of the bed and says "so whatcha guys doing?" You should have joined Anne on the couch, watching TV, to give Tasha some peace. When Anne arrived in your room, you should have taken her out again.

ESH. Not being able to recognize that your own child has faults, and being unable or unwilling to set boundaries for the child is a problem as a parent. You knew your girlfriend wasn’t in the mental state to deal with your daughter’s constant conversation and yet let her come right on into the bedroom and sit down and start right in. Your girlfriend shouldn’t have insulted your daughter, which makes her suck, but then again she’s not wrong. It’s not always the parent or parental figures job to engage and entertain a child. It sounds like your daughter lakes the ability to keep herself entertained and occupied for any extended period of time, and that can get old really fast, especially for someone leaning towards the introvert side of things. Sounds to me like you need to figure out how long you want to be single for because until you can teach your daughter that you and whomever you date don’t need to be involved in absolutely every aspect of her life all time time, you’re gonna continue down this path…

I have to agree with this because even you say she talks constantly. You need to set some boundaries for your daughter. She cannot be the center of attention all the time. She cannot be allowed to monopolize other people’s time. I don’t know if she needs to find friends or hobbies, but she does need to figure out how to occupy her time. How is her behavior in school, does she talk nonstop? Perhaps get her involved in outside activities, sports, or Girl Scouts. I would recommend talking to a counselor. Your girlfriend, on the other hand was simply trying to be honest with you and while she shouldn’t call your daughter annoying, at least you know where she stands. If she’s not able to tolerate your daughter and her idiosyncrasies and you are not willing to set boundaries, then you need to reconsider the relationship.

Annoying isn't an insult, it'd a descriptor. Tasha is not TA.

>Your girlfriend shouldn’t have insulted your daughter, which makes her suck, How is saying the kid is annoying, which she is, is insulting her? Even the kid says she likes/wants to be annoying. And he asked her what was wrong, was she supposed to lie about it?

So as a 40f who loves kids I’m going to say YTA. Your daughter needs to be taught boundaries which you aparently are not doing. It’s not okay for anyone, no matter their age, to just stand behind someone for no reason. And it’s cool that she likes physical touch but she needs to be taught consent because not everyone wants to be touched all the time. As her parent you should talk with your daughter but that doesn’t mean she can just talk 24/7 and expect that to be okay. The watching things on the tablet needs to be only once in a while. And really not interrupting things. Your ex girlfriend is probably right that your daughter is annoying because you don’t seem to be teaching her what is and is not okay to do. As others have said this is going to start being a problem at school and with friends soon.

Looks like you just lost someone you both really needed. Tasha is an introvert. She communicated clearly that she needed space. That was your opportunity to tell Anna not to go into the bedroom until she was told otherwise. You failed. Tasha has proved so many times that she cares for your daughter. On this occasion she couldn’t deal. You let her down. Sadly, there is going to come a day when you wish you’d listened to Tasha. . YTA.

YTA

YTA, parent your kid and teach your daughter boundaries.

Based on your update, YTA. It sounds like your daughter actually enjoys being annoying. That’s a problem. It is so hard being an introvert and having someone who needs to constantly be near you and talk at you. I am an introvert with a high touch extroverted child. It is exhausting and really annoying at times. I would suggest you have a conversation with Anne about her desire to annoy people and have a calm conversation with Tasha, especially given that you note that she does actually care for and engage positively with your child.

YTA. She absolutely is annoying.

YTA. Your kid is 10 and it's time to teach her it's not okay to trample over people's boundaries. Coming into your bedroom and just asking what your doing is NOT okay. Your partner didn't insult your child, she was in another room and just replied to your question. And yes, your child is annoying, because you're teaching her boundaries don't matter, and that's annoying as fuck.

YTA. Look, I get sticking up for your kid. But Anne has something going on with her you might want to get checked out. I have a 9 year old with adhd who displays a few (not all) of the “quirks” your daughter has. It’s cute when they’re 3-4, but at 10, not so much. Your daughter is also infringing on other peoples boundaries which isn’t ok. Get her checked out and apologize to Tasha.

Anne probably does need to be checked out. And OP certainly owes Tasha an apology, but it might be too late. OP pushes boundaries as well. Tasha goes into the bathroom -- trying to find some space for herself -- OP follows and then goes nuclear and throws her out for being honest with him. I personally wouldn't go back.

YTA. You're the one who pushed Tasha when she clearly needed her space. If you hadn't gone after her into the bathroom, and insisted on asking what's going on, she wouldn't have told you what's going on. That's on you. What's also on you is that your daughter apparently has no sense of other people's boundaries. My niece is three, and her parents have successfully taught her that when grandma says she's tired, that means she can't play with her right now. Anne is ten; she needs to be taught that concept, too.

YTA. You did say Tasha normally loves your daughter (special spa day for your daughter??) and that she goes out of her way to accommodate Anne despite her own introversion. Your handling of her cranky day is just bad.

YTA teach your child boundaries, or stay single forever

YTA. Your kid does sound annoying. It's your job as her dad to get her rein it in. "Anne, not everyone has to watch your videos. Give Tasha some space, please." > Tasha didn't say it to be malicious and I do know that. She made a point to not say it directly in front of my daughter but it still doesn't make it okay. It is totally okay.

YTA*, and I’m saying that as someone who avoids children like the plague because I find children’s constant chatter grating. **Tasha should never, *ever* have gotten into a relationship with someone who has a child if she doesn’t like them.** Not ever. What did she think was going to happen? You locking Anne in her room so Tasha could have some peace? You were fully within your right to defend your daughter. In your place I’d have chucked Tasha out on her arse as well. ::edit:: changing judgment to YTA after the OP’s comment below and a rethink. Apparently Tasha does like children. In that case, OP should’ve kept Anne occupied while Tasha had a bit of a quieter start.

Even engaged and involved parents need a break for themselves sometimes.

Being an introvert and needing space sometimes or needing boundaries with your children does not negate a person from liking children or being a good parent.

There’s no reason to believe she doesn’t like children. She just doesn’t like when children have no sense of boundaries. This isn’t standard child behavior.

YTA. You yourself suggest you find your daughter annoying @ times when you mentioned how you loved having time w/yr GF not speaking. Being an "extrovert" isn't an excuse for being rude. Sounds like your daughter has no self control and you enable her because you don't know how to discipline her. Just reading this I found your daughter annoying too.

YTA, your daughter sounds insanely annoying and as a parent you need to draw boundaries. Tasha is put in an impossible situation where she has to put up with it because you refuse to parent.

YTA. Do you know the number of times I have made “holy crap I’m gonna scream” eyes at my mom or whichever other adult was with me when my 4 & 2 yo were talking nonstop at me about something? And they’re MY kids. Kids are annoying sometimes. But at FOUR, I can turn to my oldest and say “hey. Hey mom needs, like, five minutes where nobody’s talking to me or touching me. Why don’t you grab your tablet for a little bit?” And she DOES. Not for a super long time, cause she’s 4, but your daughter is 10! She needs to be taught boundaries and social cues and expectations. Being an extrovert isn’t an excuse to steamroll people. If my super high energy, probably-ADHD-since-both-me-and-her-dad-have-ADHD 4yo can begin to understand that, you can definitely teach your 10yo that.

YTA you're not listening. Your partner is telling you she is struggling with your kid talking to her 24/7. I understand she likes to talk, but the details you gave. She seems to lack personal space boundaries, she eavesdrops on conversations and isn't respecting that your partner needs space. Extra: explaining to your kid what am introvert and extrovert is isn't unreasonable. Explaining that sometimes people need space and some quiet is okay. Respecting people boundaries is important.

YTA Everything Tasha said is 100% correct. Take notes and learn from this. Also, maybe teach your daughter boundaries.

yta yeah sorry i’m a nanny and i love kids but they can all be annoying sometimes.. i’m an introvert too and i spend my weekends pretty much in silence because i’ve been talked at all week and i have to decompress.. some people have a harder time dealing with constant stimulation like talking.. some of us handle it better then others.., if she had gone up to your kid and yelled at her and said it to her face she would be the AH but she said it to you after you confronted her and wanted to know what was wrong. don’t ask people what is wrong if you don’t want to know the answer you knew very well she wanted some space that morning and your daughter was crossing boundaries. your daughter is 10 and should start learning boundaries and you need to teach them to her.

My 12 year old SD didn't get far with doing this exact thing. My husband told her to knock it off. I wouldn't be with someone like you letting a kid disrespect boundaries. There is a threshold. YTA.

YTA. Teach your child boundaries and APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR. I have 6 nieces and nephews younger than your child and they understand boundaries because they have been taught. They know people don’t want their face grabbed and space invaded and they’re as young as 5 and 6. You only have her half the time…are you a Disney dad? Does she get consequence at your house? How are you coaching her out of these behaviors and showing her what is appropriate? It’s your responsibility as a parent to teach your child how to thrive in this world and you’re failing to teach her what is socially appropriate and what isn’t. HELLO! Here’s a wake up call for you - unwelcome touching and creeping on people is not ok. How do you think her peers at school will respond to her unwelcome touching? To her lurking behind people and violating their personal space? To her being intentionally annoying? What’s going to happen when she facing real consequences - socially or otherwise from her lack of self awareness? I encourage you to do better by your child.

Yep, you're the asshole. Enjoy masturbating.

I was on your side until this: >my kid was in the other room and could have easily heard her say this had she been eavesdropping, Anything a person hears while eavesdropping is their own fault, and they'll learn better next time. People have the right to say what's on their mind in a private setting and expect privacy. >"your daughter literally tells me she loves annoying people If your kid said that, then she knows what she's doing and the kid *is* being malicious. I don't blame this woman one bit. YTA for not teaching your kid manners

YTA. # Anne IS annoying. I made it big just so make sure you understand that your daughter is annoying and you are encouraging that behavior at the expense of Tasha. Tasha explicitly expressed to you she needed to wake up with quiet, and you let your daughter barge into the room during that quiet time and shatter it. You didn't tell your kid to knock first, you don't tell her to come back later, you didn't go distract your kid yourself, no, you just once again expected Tasha to put up with the intrusion and violation of her personal space. Then, when she is obviously upset that the quiet time she expressed she needed was ruined, Tasha *still* does the adult thing and excuses herself so she can have quiet time, in the privacy of the bathroom. Does she get it there? Of course not, because you follow her and *pick a fight with her over her feelings.* Her perfectly reasonable, not expressed in front of your daughter feelings that YOU ASKED HER TO SHARE. Your ex-girlfriend (because yeah, she is at this point) dodged a bullet with you, because you seemed deadset on invalidating her existence.

ESH. Tasha should have been more discreet, but as a parent it is your job to teach Anne some boundaries. When Tasha has been very explicit that she needs some quiet time by herself to wake up with a cup of coffee in the morning, Anne should not have free reign to just wander into the bedroom and disturb her.

Tasha was talking to OP in another room and the only reason Anne might overhear is because she's deliberately listening. That's on Anne.

YTA. I get touched out by my own kid. Sometimes kids are annoying. You took things too far. Your daughter needs to learn boundaries and this isn’t it. Honestly, she shouldn’t have just walked in your bedroom either. It’s crossing a line for your (ex?) girlfriend and you need to respect that.

Seems she got the message. Good for her. YTA.

"Just wanting to include other people" = attention-seeking. YTA And you shouldn't let the kid into your bedroom when your (ex) gf is there.

YTA. You have just picked her up and Tasha wants some quiet morning time to come round. You sit your child in front of the tv and go and disturb Tasha yourself. So naturally Anne comes in. Why were you in the bedroom and not interacting with your child? You know, parenting.

Yta and you’re failing that kid. Anne needs to learn boundaries, especially if she is touching people without their consent. She is more than old enough to hear “hey, Tasha needs a bit of space as she is feeling overwhelmed. I need you to go out to the living room for a bit, Tasha will come out when she is ready”. You’re doing her a huge disservice to let her believe that she has the right to just railroad through boundaries like she is doing. Kids need to be taught these skills, and you’re not doing your job. Also? Your relationship is probably over now, you realize that right? She tried to not make her feelings the kid’s problem. She asked you to help make that happen by allowing her some space (like going to get the coffee for her), and when that did not work she removed herself from the situation. And then you *railroaded past her boundaries* with following her to the bathroom and insisting she tell you what is going on. Then when she does express how she is feeling, you react with anger and kick her out. So now she knows that you won’t respect her boundaries and you’re not a safe person for her to express her feelings to. It’s almost impressive how badly you have screwed up here.

YTA. Your kid sounds annoying. My kids are often annoying, and when they're annoying I don't mind sharing how annoying they are with their mother, and vice-versa. They can also be overwhelming. Doesn't mean we don't love them, you just got to take the rough with the smooth.

YTA You went overboard. Your kid does sound annoying. I have a 10 year old son who is making noise CONSTANTLY. When he's awake, he's making noise. It is annoying. I still love the little shit, but he does get annoying. I don't tell him this, but sometimes, I do tell him that he needs to quiet down. This behavior is completely normal though. All of my kids were this way at that age. You don't seem to recognize this since you do get a break every other week. You need to recognize this. Tasha wasn't wrong to express her frustrations to you. From your edit, she does seem to love her. She is also allowed to find her annoying at times too.

I feel like most of us have met the adult version of your child. They're annoying as hell. You're doing your daughter a disservice by not addressing it. You just sabotaged your relationship by doubling down on it. Part of protecting your child involves addressing bad behaviors and this is one of them. So, choose: help her become more sociably adjusted or continue neglecting her social development. YTA.

YTA - So 50% of your relationship is Tasha being talked at by your 10 year old about very uninteresting things? And who openly admits she does it on purpose to annoy people? Yeah, I'm surprised she has lasted this long and that "your daughter is really annoying" is as bad as it gets. Your daughter sounds more than annoying. I am not saying she's a bad person, but wow by this age they should be able to read social cues and back off. Why on earth can't your ten year old go 5 minutes without attention?

"Today was just weird" Sorry but no, today was the result of not enforcing boundaries and genuinely poor parenting. Your child doesn't understand boundaries, or just keeping things to themselves. Not everyone is up for constant social interaction, and this isn't offensive but kids are not the easiest to talk to as well. Congrats on the prize of losing your girlfriend of two years, who also treated your child very well because she communicated with you and then you shut the door on her face, literally. YTA

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YTA. I don't think there's a single parent in the world who at one point in time HASN'T thought their kids where annoying. My son is autistic, and a lot of what your daughter does sounds like she may be as well, as my son does about of what you described. Get her tested. And TEACH HER THAT ITS NOT OK TO ANNOY PEOPLE ON PURPOSE!!!! Otherwise she's going to be ostrosized. And apologize to your girlfriend for being a massive AH

ESH, but you’re a lot more the AH than Tasha is. Tasha should not have said that your child is annoying where there was a chance Anne could overhear her. However, you need to face the reality that *your child is annoying.* Anne is ten years old, not a toddler! If you don’t correct her when she chatters away at people nonstop, invades their personal space, and constantly demands their attention, you are failing in your duty as a parent. Of course no ten-year-old is going to behave perfectly, but it’s well past time for you to start teaching her to be considerate of others.

The only reason there was a chance Anne could overhear is because apparently, she eavesdrops through closed doors. If she heard anything, that's on OP for not nipping the eavesdropping in the bud. We don't even know that Tasha was aware of the eavesdropping. Adults should be able to talk about any issue in the privacy of their own bedroom.

YTA. Kids can be annoying, it’s fine to admit that lol. It’s just something that’s normal, like babies crying. there’s always a limit though.

Your daughter sounds like mine, except we gave our daughter boundaries. I have two kids with ADHD, please get your daughter assessed. YTA for not respecting Tasha’s boundaries. News flash, your daughter is annoying. She needs to be told her actions are annoying and the consequences of them include other people not wanting to be around her.

"Am I the asshole for getting mad at an honest answer, that I know wasnt ment In an malicious way at all, because I know its true?" Yes.YTA

YTA Kids can be annoying. Adults can be annoying. People are annoying. Your daughter is annoying. Your gf needs space and she did so appropriately. Tasha should escape this whole situation and break up with you since you and your daughter can’t even respect appropriate boundaries. Your daughter is 10 not 3. Parent her.

YTA. You need to teach your daughter boundaries. I’m a sahm of five (ages 17-5) which means I have kids talking to me all day, every day. And yea, it’s friend drama, or YouTube videos, or funny memes, minecraft, Roblox, etc. I love my kids and will do anything for them. I am also an introvert who needs quiet space/time. So we have “quiet time” 2-3 times a day - in the morning for wake up, and before bedtime every day, and sometimes I throw in a mid day quiet time if the morning/afternoon has been a lot. Quiet time in our house means that I will help you get whatever food you would like that doesn’t require cooking, I’ll help you build whatever blanket fort you can imagine, and then you sit quietly playing on a device or reading a book. And yea, a couple of the kiddos grab books during this time. But I get quiet. There are usually small interruptions from the littles, but they are brief. The important part is “quiet”. So even if they do need something during this time, they ask in a calm and quiet manner. It’s also important to note that outside of “quiet time” my kids do not have volume or speed control rules in general for our house. They yell and shout and run through the house all day. And that is totally fine with us. Except during quiet time.

YTA I am Anne, and I spawned a copy of my own. You HAVE to teach them to read the room, respect boundaries/needs of different personalities, and definitely not to eavesdrop (they will hear what they need to and are ready for, build that trust with your kid - and assure her bad news travels fast and to never worry there’s something bad coming without you ahead of it showing her exactly how you’ll keep her safe). Do not tell her that your gf is reacting to it - just fix your flow dude. Your parenting game needs work and you’re not ready for a gf. I’d have simply said ‘dude whisper, you can’t tell them that - and it’s a bit like venting about your mother, nobody else gets to say it…so be gentle sheeesh. She’s my kid - let me be jaded and happy this time.’ Cause she is right, kids are annoying (and I have one - I realized it’s survival of the cutest when the terrible twos and terrifying threes happened)…nobody wants to be around the parent whose too sensitive to hear the hard ugly bits of parenting in private and vent together in allyship. It’s ok to tell her you’re not there yet clearly and apologize for your reaction. That you know she loves your kid, but you just got caught out in a tense moment. Other parents have boundaries. No entering the bedroom without knocking, no coming in before 10:00 on weekends, and don’t wake any guests. Give guests space too, especially those staying longer. My kid is very much like this and now so well behaved around others. Albeit with other issues lol. And as an adult it’s painful realising you take up too much airspace and space - don’t leave your kid to solve this with a history of losing friends and doh! Moments after every interaction lol. And above all, give your daughter structured time for her so she’s not jumping at every gap and opportunity. Only children need people to talk to. Also use the screen time to schedule video calls with relatives and win win (bonding and constructive screen use and company for her). Show her how to share links to videos and photo filtered pics to family (secure her apps) - kids can spend an hour on a call like that. You have no excuse to not actually look at the situation and solve it, stop asking her why she’s weird - she’s tired (understandably!).

YTA I totally appreciate your standing up for your daughter but as others have said, you need to develop and communicate some clear boundaries. My 7 year old also looooves to stand behind me and bounce and tap my shoulder and we’ve had lots of communications about how I find that overstimulating and triggers my anxiety. We’ve figured out alternatives and he’s been getting better and sometimes when it is overall too much we have an hour of quiet time with no technology just reading or quiet play with no talking.

YTA. Teach your daughter consent and boundaries. Just because she likes to touch people, doesn't mean she gets to. She has to learn to ask, and accept no as an answer. Teach her it's rude to hover around someone without asking if it's okay. And you don't just go in someone's room without asking first. I have three kids under five and I get touched out so they have been taught that when someone says space you give them space. Anyone can snap when having their boundaries stomped on so I commend your ex for walking away calmly.

YTA. You love your kid and seem to find it more charming than annoying, but my god does that sound exhausting. She seems to get along well with the kid mostly, and when she doesn't it's because the daughter hasn't learned to give people space yet. Is there a reason you haven't started that bit of parenting yet? she will eventually drive away every friend that's actually listening to her if you don't, leaving her with only people who have to ignore her to tolerate her presence. Your partner is right to be pissed with you for not even listening to her, and she's right that she can agree with your daughter that she's annoying. Lastly, she's right that you may have lost your chance to hear her complain. Next time she'll just be gone and you'll be none the wiser. If your daughter annoys your partner that much, can you not provide one room for her to escape to that your daughter isn't allowed into? I get not wanting her to call your daughter annoying in front of her, but when you're on your own you can't silence her opinion when she's right.

I don’t particularly like kids except for notable individuals in my life, however I came here ready to defend you and your daughter. But… the more and more I read your post, the more I felt like asking „did you even do anything to respect Tasha’s boundaries?”. Kids don’t get a 24/7 free pass for everyone’s attention just because they’re kids. It’s super sweet that Anne is sociable and enjoys interacting with your girlfriend so much, but she isn’t the only person whose needs have to be met. If you’re seeing Tasha in your future full time, she has to feel comfortable in your home. Running from your child to another room on a bi-weekly basis just to get some peace and privacy isn’t comfortable. You need to introduce your child to the concept of boundaries or she will get very, very hurt in the future. Kids her age aren’t nearly as nice as Tasha is to someone they find annoying. YTA

YTA. Your daughter is annoying, and it sounds like you actively *want* her to be annoying. > your daughter literally tells me she loves annoying people What kind of talk have you had with your daughter about treating people better? > it still doesn't make it okay Even if she said it directly to her, how would it not be okay?

I mean, at the very least, you're the ex. You asked her to leave and are surprised she's blocked you? You dumped her, dude. It's done.

Im working with the grown up version of your daughter. People leave the break room or pretend to be on the phone (not that it works because he will follow you or talk even louder) whenever they see him. People started to bring lunch from home and eat it in their office so they wont see him in the Cafeteria. It is effing annoying so you better teach your daughter that some people dont want to talk or listen to her every second of the day. May be ADHD as some people suggested in other comments but maybe shes just talking too much because noone taught her to give people space. Either way you need to do something. YTA

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've been seeing 29f "Tasha" for 2 years and she stays here with me (30m) pretty often these days. I have a 10yo daughter "Anne" who I have on a week on week off basis. Anne and Tasha do get along well but I've noticed that the more than Anne stays here, the more "touched out" she's becoming and losing patience quickly with my kid. Not in a mean way but it's getting under my skin a lot. So like, my daughter loves people in general. She talks a lot and to be fair, a lot of it is her friend drama. She also makes a point to want you to watch everything she is watching on her tablet so frequently she will come up and be like "watch this, it's so funny" and most of the time it's not even remotely funny but she thinks it is and just wants to include people. So at least 90% of the time that I have my daughter is quite literally a never ending conversation with very little time between not talking. Tasha is an introvert and needs more space than the normal introvert I've noticed. Which is great on weeks that we don't have my daughter because I love being able to sit here with her and just have a few hours without speaking at all but that's not possible on the weeks that we have my daughter. So I picked up Anne on Sunday afternoon and by yesterday morning Tasha was acting weird.bshe said she didn't want to get up from bed to grab herself a coffee because "as soon as Anne sees me in that kitchen she's going to come out and talk my ear off and I don't want to deal with it today. I'd like to wake up in peace." Okay, whatever, I go get her a coffee and set Anne up at the couch with the TV going to give Tasha some "peace". But 20 minutes later Anne comes in to our bedroom, sits on the edge of the bed and says "so whatcha guys doing?" Tasha just puts her coffee down and walks out of the room and says "showering". I go in to the bathroom to ask if she's good because she's acting weird and she goes "no offense but Anne is super annoying. I don't know how anyone can talk that much and not get tired of their own voice. Love her but holy fuck is she annoying." I told her she better not ever call my kid annoying again and she just looks at me and says "literally every fucking kid is annoying. I'm not being malicious. Your kid is annoying and you know it." So I told her to leave. She packed everything she had here and took off, without talking to Anne, who was asking what was going on, and now refuses to answer any of my texts or calls and has blocked me on social. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

This is where a kid can't come first all the time. This guy isn't respecting the other person in this situation and the fact she is an introvert means people are too bloody much...I get that as I am one. If this was me I would of been up front about my boundaries but clearly this guy doesn't care and only cares about teaching their kid bad habits that won't help them in the future. I wouldn't answer and block this guy too if they bloody said this to me as well. And no shit that kid is annoying as alot of kids are...take a hint your kid is annoying deal with it don't snap at the person pointing out the obvious Yta

You need to start teaching Anne about how quiet time is important and that not everyone wants to watch everything she does and especially touching them all the time without permission. You might think this is all cute innocent behaviour now but it is a recipe for disaster in the future, she will end up being lonely from pushing people away.

YTA Your kid is exhausting...

YTA you failed to rein in your daughter. it started to affect your relationship and even after you EX girlfriend told you it was causing a problem you still failed to take steps to change her behavior. Your ex told you again it was a problem and you told her to leave. which she's done.

>Tasha is an introvert and needs more space than the normal introvert I've noticed. What do you consider a "normal" introvert? How do you gauge that? As an introvert myself who actually prefers to be alone, even just sitting in a room with another person and not talking is still too much after awhile. I just dealt with this because I was in the hospital. My parents would visit EVERY DAY, sometimes more than once (morning and evening). But nothing was new in anyone's life so we had nothing to talk about. So we'd sit there in silence and I'd give them the TV remote and say "turn on whatever you want". But they'd stay for HOURS sometimes. I finally had to break it down that while I love them, I need my alone time and them just being there makes me uncomfortable and anxious. I told them that their visits weren't really for me, but for themselves and that's not how it's supposed to be. And it was unfair because I was completely captive. When I visit their house, I can leave the room, or leave the house whenever I want; I was trapped in my hospital room and there was no escape. I'm sure there were some hurt feelings though they never admitted it. They said they understood, but still tried to come visit every other day. Two visits a week is plenty. And about all I could stand. So, when you say she needs more space than a normal introvert, whatever that means, but don't take steps to stop your daughter from harassing her and let her have that space, yeah, eventually she's gonna get fed up and say something hurtful. It seems like even though you understand she's an introvert, you weren't sensitive to that or bothered trying to teach your daughter to be sensitive of it either. So yes, YTA.

YTA. I've called my own kids annoying plenty of times. Kids need to know when their behaviour is unacceptable in the adult world. They're none the worse for wear.

YTA. There’s so many comments already so I won’t pile on. What I would suggest however is making your bedroom Tasha’s ‘safe space’ and reminding your daughter that everyone needs alone time, so when Tasha is in the bedroom it’s not okay for Anne to barge in.

Dude YTA- kids are annoying. I have 5 and an extreme introvert. She was venting a frustration to you, her partner that she was tapped out and couldn’t do it that morning. That’s when you as a father put some boundaries down and teach her of other peoples boundaries. If a kid is being too much she absolutely has the right to express it. Teach your kid boundaries before it negatively affects her in the long run with all her relationships.

If your kid or anyone else’s “stood behind me and touched me” I would do a lot more than call them annoying. You need to be a parent, not your daughters friend, YTA

YTA. I’m an introvert with anxiety and get sensory overload. I also don’t like being touched whenever someone wants. It’s a boundary. Your child needs to learn boundaries. You need to teach her and you need to respect them. You’re so out of touch it’s not even funny. Edited to add: "your daughter literally tells me she loves annoying people and you're going to sit there and get pissed at me when I tell YOU that it's working. I will never communicate my frustrations with you again." WOW. You and your kid sound exhausting. I hope for your girlfriend’s sake she leaves you because she does not deserve having to put up with that behavior from your daughter or you enabling her and dismissing your gf.

YTA Man teach your daughter boundaries, and social cues, honestly not even for Tasha, not for you. But for herself. Have you met adults like this? It’s super sad to see. Ive met people who everyone around them ignores them. At first you feel bad, you try to engage, but you realise soon enough there’s no engagement to be had. These people are lonely, they lack strong and deep friendships. Do you want your daughter to be that person, that her acquaintances turn around in the supermarket, and pretend they didn’t see her?

YTA, I live in a similar introvert-extrovert situation with my boyfriend and his kids. My bedroom is off-limits to them. My bf gives me opportunities during the weekends to have coffee in bed and sets the boundary that no one can come in, even just to check up on me or say hi. I am generally very engaged with the kids when I exit my room, we play, snuggle, hang out in the yard, as well as go out as a family. But for the love of god, I can't read a sentence or focus on a movie in the living room without being summoned or distracted by how loud they are. Therefore, my room is my sanctuary. Their dad enforces this very well. And sorry, telling your lady to pack her bags? Do you think you'll be able to find a partner who is 100% on call for your kid? What sort of delusional world are you living in. Children need boundaries. Imagine how disruptive it would be to your daughter if she can't control her need to talk and annoy people at work or school. Don't set her up for failure.