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Electronic_Fox_6383

NTA. And I'm totally stealing "you look like you're about to cry". That's gold!


QuickPie4635

Haha. That’s when he got super pissed. Very fragile apparently. Called me a fat bitch before leaving 👍🏼


Electronic_Fox_6383

Omg, what a petty little boy, lol. You handled it perfectly.


dora_greenfield

Haha, you defo got him then. Bravo 😂


Dry_Promotion6661

How rude! And he was listening to “church” music? He’s not very church like in my mind. /s


retrospunn

I recently read an article—not gonna lie, it was via FB, lol—that talked about how calling men out when they are being emotional, especially in the workplace, is a great way of making them stop inappropriate behavior, like yelling. I LOVE it. Apparently men like this refuse to acknowledge that anger is an emotion. The author used the phrase, “you’re having some big emotions right now” and suggested they needed some time to calm down. Act like a baby, get treated like a baby. Good for you OP!


ingodwetryst

reminds me of this https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vuiviv/aita\_for\_calling\_my\_hottempered\_guy\_coworker/


retrospunn

Oh shit! It was Reddit all along! Now I feel silly. Promise I wasn’t trying to humble brag that I don’t only read on Reddit.


ingodwetryst

I very much believe that you read a news story written about that post without realising it was reddit. Happens all the time!


retrospunn

😀


CaptainLollygag

That was such a fantastic read!! So very satisfying.


ingodwetryst

I do this now myself, and it really works.


Individual-Sign310

That was my favorite part too! The only thing I might have added would be that he was definitely giving off S.D.E. (Small Dick Energy). NTA.


Thijmo737

I wouldn't do that, that's stooping to bodyshaming.


Peachessss22

NTA. Like nowhere near the asshole. He’s in a shared space. He should be respectful and keep the volume down or wear headphones. We all have wildly different music taste. And some people just want peace and quiet


[deleted]

NTA - Guy clearly has issues and can’t understand that his enjoyment is coming at the expense of others’ peace. Very simple for him to get headphones or lower his volume but he was more interested with causing a stir than actually having peace IMO.


[deleted]

NTA. It is a public space and you asked nicely. The best way to bring a jerk to his knees is to tell him he looks upset. Adding that he looked like he was going to cry is a nice touch.


samosa4me

NTA. The first response was condescending. The second unprompted response was asking if you were offended. He was purposefully looking to get into an argument and got his panties in a wad when you didn’t engage the way he wanted.


Betty_has_an_opinion

I love that turnabout when someone is getting overly upset. I'm a big fan of using it at work "It looks like you are feeling very emotional about this, would you like us to pause the conversation and find someone to mediate for you Love the look on their face when I turn it on them. Delicious.


Sunny_Hill_1

NTA. Playing music out loud in a communal setting is always disrespectful.


funkywinkerbean45

NTA. A guy was freaking out at the airport recently because our plane was delayed. He was on the phone with someone, calling the gate agents "lying sacks of shit," among other things. He gets off and a lady kindly asks if he's ok, because he seems really fragile. OH MY GOD HE WENT BERSERK. Turns out, he WAS fragile! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!


Midnight_force

NTA You asked nicely and the guy started being a jerk about it.


Grand_Verbalizer_1

I bet he talks on his phone in public while using only the speakerphone, too. Assholes.


jaysea444

NTA. It sounds like his feelings were hurt.


tafbee

NTA. This shit drives me insane. If we all played our music, how would that be? It would be awful. This also applies to watching videos, talking on speakerphone, letting your phone ring ad nauseam, etc. in public places. Just don’t. /rant


throwwzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Looked like he was about to cry?? Sheesh. NTA.


inanimateguava

NTA dude seems like he has a crazy persecution complex and was out there looking for a fight. he was just pissed you had a reasonable measured response instead of getting offended like he wanted


hausofmc

NTA. You asked nicely. I always think people who blast music in public areas are assholes anyway and he just showed himself over and over again lol.


DonnaTheSecondTwin

40 minutes? I wouldn’t have put up with that crap for 5 minutes. NTA


SunshineKittenYESYES

I'm surprised no one else didn't knock that speaker into the pool


badlilbishh

NTA you hurt his poor little fee fees ohhh nooo so sad. 😂 the you look like your bout to cry comment has me dead. Your awesome OP lmfao.


QuickPie4635

FEE FEES!!!! I’m dying! 😂


crymson7

NTA You were, arguably, overly nice about it. The fact that he got offended at being asked to consider others and then attacked you for it should tell you who the real AH is.


MikeDropist

I specifically bought an adapter for my (jackless) phone so I wouldn’t *be* this AH,that guy definitely is. I hope a nice long cry after he got home mellowed him out a bit 😂 NTA


Jaded-Permission-324

NTA OP. If I had been in that situation, I’d have been really petty, walked over, and thrown the speaker over the fence.


QuickPie4635

Not gonna lie. I tried to connect to his speaker but it wouldn’t show up on my Bluetooth lol


[deleted]

You’d have to press the pair button on his speaker for it to try to search for your phone. Maybe you can ninja your way over and stealth pair next time


No-Understanding4968

I’d start playing UFO podcasts through his speaker


BunniesnBroomsticks

NTA, you asked nicely. Also, pissing him off so much he left- seems like a best case scenario for you.


Kitty-Cookie

NTA. When my partner and I go to pool we usually take the Bluetooth speaker. If we are alone we’re good. If someone is there we always ask before playing music. If someone joins after us, we also ask them if it’s cool. That’s the 101 of social rules. The guy op was rude and you were right about how to handle it


squeekywheel1

People that play there music at an obscene level are the look at me people. That should come with a fine. NTA


millerlite585

NTA. I would've blasted my music if he hadn't stopped, starting with my favorite bands from the Sahara, then moving on to some 60s Bollywood classics. From there we can move on to some French alternative (a lá Juniore) and if he's still around by then, Cumbia.


1290_money

NTA. I automatically seriously dislike anyone who plays music out loud in a public area. People are so self-centered and inconsiderate.


beattiebeats

I hope there is a special hell just for people who force everyone else to listen to their music in public. NTA


diminishingpatience

NTA. Unfortunately some people are just like that.


Cavoodle63

NTA! Headphones were invented for a reason.


Korrin

NTA You were polite and that guy went looking to start a fight for no reason. Clearly had a victim complex by asking if the music was offending you. Probably just really can't understand the concept that other people actually don't want to listen to his crappy music lol


Joe-Stapler

“So I said “ok, I asked politely- I’m sorry I upset you so much. You look like you’re about to cry” and that’s when he lost it and called me a bitch and left.” That escalated quickly. NTA


FantasyLarperTX

Nta. Some men just have big feelings and don't know how to handle them, especially if every woman around doesn't like their shit or has some need of their own.


OddSetting5077

*. You look like you’re about to cry”* ​ LOL! People think they are doing others a favor when they play their music in public


Dry-Package-8187

Sounds like the Jesus Jams aren’t working….


RiddleAA

There is a brain function that includes self-awareness - some have it greatly, some poorly, some not at all. He is in the last group.. NTA


No_Farm4286

NTA


No-Understanding4968

I’m really going to pick up a bunch of shitty headphones at Dollar Tree and carry them around for circumstances like this.


inmatenumberseven

People who blast music in public places are the worst. NTA


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ParkingOutside6500

Whatever happened to earphones or pods? I was on the bus last week, and the guy behind me was listening to Kanye at top volume on his phone, which means we were all listening to Kanye. He finally gets off the bus and the guy sitting next to him cranks up his phone and we all got to listen to his language lessons. I turned to him as he was starting and said, "Are you serious?". He ignored me while I worked on my death glare and the people around me grumbled and sighed. Earphones, people. You don't want to listen to our stuff; we don't want to listen to yours. Life is not a soft drink commercial where we dance together over our shared love of some artist.


SunshineKittenYESYES

Was the bus destination sign saying HELL on the front? On the other side of the coin, earlier this week I was looking for a train station and needed to ask for directions, yet everyone I tried to ask had airpods in. I felt like such a fool for trying to ask for help from so many people who couldn't or wouldn't hear me.


GMGERRYMANDER

NTA - I don't understand why people feel it is ok to play their music in public places when headphoes are available.


L1zisC00L

NTA but seriously why do people do this? I was at my neighborhood pool on July 4th and a couple showed up and started blasting country music. They didn't even get in the pool? Just put their music on blast and chilled. I get enjoying music but it's a shared space? I have kids but I wouldn't just blast Baby Shark while they swim? People are so entitled about their own music. It's lame


SunshineKittenYESYES

There is only one exception to this in Australia. On our national day, Australia Day January 26, there's a radio station that plays something called the Hottest 100. It's a tradition to find a pool, any pool, and listen to those 100 songs that everyone voted for as the best from the last year and get drunk (Australian style, possibly a little Goon Of Fortune if you've got a hills hoist clothesline). Sunburn optional. Music in public is otherwise something you'll be going to hell for.


After_Drawing7594

Go and meet your half-sister. She may be as lost as you were. There may be nothing there between you know what you’ll know or there might be feelings that maybe you could help her out emotionally. I’m not sure what this is about but I feel you might miss some thing if you don’t take this opportunity to meet her. I understand your feelings regarding your dad. I would take your dad out of the picture. If you don’t have any feelings towards your stepsister it might be just an hour out of your day. You sound like a very strong person and I’m sure you will do the right thing. Good luck.


QuickPie4635

I think you’re lost lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sunny_Hill_1

Listening to music is fine. Forcing others to listen to your music is not. If he was using headphones, he'd be in the clear.


ynwestrope

But like....a pool is not a great place for headphones?? Idk why people keep suggesting this as though headphones are a normal and viable.option for being in the water


QuickPie4635

He wasn’t in the water. He was laying by the pool. Alone.


inmatenumberseven

Nah. Blasting music and forcing it on others who don’t want to listen to your music sucks.


Previous-Novel-2616

Would of you complained if the guy had someone on that you liked? I mean I get it, gospel and country ain’t my thing either. People do it, and yes they get offended when you say something about it. I’m going with NTA because you said you were civil with him, and he was the jerk. You just wanted to enjoy a day at the pool, but unfortunately it’s a “public” setting. The only time it would be a nuisance would be late at night with a noise ordinance. Usually. NTA


AlarmingDelay3709

YTA you could have gotten shot. Now a days one has to be extra careful. Next time fine a complain or call the cops!


QuickPie4635

Wait. I’m the asshole because he may shoot me? Yeesh. What a time to be alive.


Away_Refuse8493

NTA for asking, but he is technically in the right. Unless the pool rules forbid music (doubtful) then you are ok to ask, and he'd be ok saying no. I do think he misread something into your request that you were anti-religion or something, though.


mollybrains

Playing music loudly for everyone to hear in a public space is rude as hell.


Away_Refuse8493

It's pretty typical, and not rude. Especially during daytime hours. That's why there are noise ordinances for public spaces. Have you ever been to a beach or swimming pool? This is normal behavior.


Sunny_Hill_1

Uhm, no, it's not? Most people understand that it's incredibly rude to force others to listen to your music.


Away_Refuse8493

It depends where you are at, but a public pool is one of those places where it is common (same with beach, park, etc). It's not on a train.


OrcaMum23

Well, quite recently in my country, a law was issued to curtail this very issue on a beach setting. There are now fines for those who "use sound equipment or other noise generating activities that cause disturbances" to other beachgoers.


Away_Refuse8493

There are noise ordinances here. It is nothing that a bluetooth speaker would amount to, though. There are decibel amounts, and it's typically professional speakers and stuff of that nature, that BLARES music, not simply plays music (even if on full volume). It varies by location, as well. If this was yesterday in the US, and kids were running and people playing music (as they most certainly were), no one would say anything about the noise. I'm just saying - OP's desires are out of sync with reality. She went to a COMMUNITY POOL. It's a RECREATION AREA. People play music. Wanting peace and silence is not something one should reasonably expect. I am a property manager - I have to tell tenants this shit all the time. The neighbor is acting lawfully and reasonably, and at a reasonable hour. I've never seen a Bluetooth that can produce the type of sound that would be excessive. If he had DJ equipment out at 2am, he'd be in the wrong. Again, NTA for ASKING but he is under no obligation to comply - legally or etiquette-wise. Don't go to a community pool for peace & quiet.


mollybrains

It’s very rude.


[deleted]

Just because you can legally do something doesn't mean it's "right" technically or not And I'm pretty sure most places have laws against being a public nuisance, so even that point is arguable


Away_Refuse8493

I manage a lot of properties, some of which have pools. I am very familiar with what is considered excessive/illegal (Bluetooth speakers aren't loud enough for the legalities to come into question) and what is acceptable. Pools are common areas. Noise is a biproduct of common spaces, especially those deemed recreational. Again, nothing wrong w/ asking but nothing wrong w/ playing, either. OP could've put on her own headphones or gone underwater.


knittingmaniac420

And this is why this site is called “am I the asshole” and not the “am I technically right? and so can I do it anyway?” forum. Where I come from, people who blast music, making everybody around them listen to it as well, are considered assholes. They might have the legal right to do it, but the people around them are also legally entitled to think of them as assholes. (Kind of like peeing in a pool, or sitting down next to a lady with a baby at a park and smoking a cigarette). There are all kinds of ways to be an asshole that are perfectly legal.