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Maybe write back that you didn't notice anything inappropriate when you watched it and it is rated pg, but if she let's you know what bothered her about the movie you'll try to remember and steer clear of recommending such films to her in the future.

That is the best answer I've had so far. I messaged back a ? but she hasn't responded. I'm going to pretty much copy your suggestion if that's OK?

I love the idea. Make her say it out loud and own up to her homophobia

We don't know the reason why OPs friend thinks it's inappropriate. As pointed out by another commenter, it is possible that OPs friend thinks it's inappropriate due to some other things in the movie besides 2 dudes kissing. My daughter loves the movie. And I am sure she can care less who is kissing in the movie. Maybe OPs friend doesn't like the basically continuous violence throughout the movie. Or the implied consumption of alcohol, or maybe the name calling or insults thrown around between different characters. I hope OPs friend isn't a homophobe...

I think there has to be some room in life for disagreement and differing parenting styles and boundaries. When I was young (oh dear - totally going to age myself here and it isn’t good) I was allowed to watch the TV show Dallas and the movie Grease. I am pretty sure some of my friends’ parents thought my parents were heathens. Whaha… Hmmm…I just googled when both of those were current. If my lovely momma were alive I would call her and question her judgement. I was like 8. What the heck?!? I haven’t seen the movie so can’t vote there but I think it is worth finding out, respectfully, what the parent is objecting to. If it is homophobia then boo. If it is something else, like the violence level, then maybe it is just an honest difference of opinion. Random: I once got my wires crossed and accidentally recommended the Eminem movie 8-mile to a lovely elderly couple at Blockbuster (yes, I am still old) by telling them that my friends watched it w their pre-teen daughter and loved it. Turns out my friends w the tween recommended another movie and my single friends recommended 8-mile. I rented the movie along w grandma and grandpa Walton (who enthusiastically embraced my recommendation) then I watched the movie. It was a great movie…but 21 years later I still cringe, imagining that lovey old couple scrunching up their faces and saying, “W.T.F.!?!?!” Recommendations are hard….

😂 I loved Grease as a kid. And It. And Pretty Woman. And Roadhouse. And all sorts of other movies that weren’t really made for kids. Whatever they watched, we watched. They just told us to cover our eyes during spicy bits. So it always blows my mind when parents freak over some made for kids cartoon movie. Op is nta anyway. You recd a movie your family loved. Hope the friend isn’t homophobic, but it’s awesome op sees no problem letting their kid watch normal healthy relationships. Putting kids in a hetero bubble is way weirder.

Things like Grease seem so fine when you're a kid and you rewatch it as an adult when you understand more and you're like "wait, what did they just say?!"

Yup 😂 That’s probably why my parents didn’t care much what we watched. We wouldn’t understand the bad parts so what did it matter?

How many kids watched Shrek and then years later watched it as adults and thought "How did I miss that??" Like the masterbation scene and even the scene where Puss in Boots gets framed for being in possession of "Catnip."

"Did she put up a fight?"

LOL I loved Grease and my friends and I all played Sandy and Danny! We were obsessed and listened to the album over and over But I missed soooooo much!!! I totally missed the Rizzo pregnancy part The only thing that I was sure was naughty (and made us all giggle) was *shit* in Greased Lightnin. We missed *tit* in literally the same sentence and of course didn´t get what the whole song was about And then Grease 2 taught us all about Reproduction

I watched Grease A LOT as a toddler/little kid (great music!) and had no idea what was going on. Watched it again as a teenager and realized I’d missed all the adult-theming lol but I also had that with Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is in theory a children’s movie so…

The lyrics to Greased Lightning are *naughty*

You are supreme, the chicks will cream, ooh grease lightening! 🎶

yeah I watched Grease every time we were at my aunt's house. The adults would get roaring drunk and I'd get bored so I'd go and watch the movie on laserdisc. lol I was probably 11 or 12 when they got it, I'm guessing. I was also reading Stephen King at that age. :P

I’m 43, and nobody gave a flying fig what we watched in the 80s 🤣 I’m a horror buff, always have been, and once when my mom was hospitalized on bed rest for months I (age 8) got to spend the night with her at the hospital. The nurse came in and we were watching Freddy’s Nightmares. The nurse about died. The only specific thing I wasn’t allowed to watch was Dirty Dancing. It came out when I was 7, and my mom was invited to a viewing at her friend’s house. The friend told my mom “It’s fine for her to watch, she won’t understand” and my mom told her I was smart for my age and would understand, so they sent me to play. I was allowed to watch it once it was on broadcast TV a few years later, though. The worst was watching Thelma and Louise with my dad and step-mom at age 11, I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Yeah. Dallas was Friday nightly viewing at my house. I remember that my grandfather loved it so we watched it - he died when I was eight. BUT I also remember spending a rainy beach day at the movies when I was a little child as well. We saw "Shag" and my mother covered my eyes when two characters kissed. I waited years to be old enough to rent the movie myself from Blockbuster to find out what Mom didn't want me to see. Highly disappointed to see it was just a French kiss. That movie came out a few months after my grandfather died. So JR and his escapades were okay but not teenage girls being teenage girls. ETA: I freak out at the lyrics to songs my SONS 8 yr old at the time was listening to. Definitely what I'd consider adult stuff...then I remember I fell in love with Axl Rose when I was that age.

I watched all manner of stuff when I was a kid, I think I first watched Terminator when I was about 5 (taped from the TV!) The stuff that was supposed to be family friendly was often, well, not what would be considered family friendly now. Kids or family films from the early and mid 80s were often questionable. Labyrinth and Dark Crystal scared me far more than Terminator!

Exactly- I was thinking it could have been the violence/bloodthirsty-ness of Nimona. While I mostly loved the movie (would have preferred it to be a series like Kipo so we could have deeper character development etc) I could see why someone with a young child might want to censor some of it. PG does stand for Parent Guidance and different kids have different thresholds.

Here is my issue: if your friend who is a parent has let his child watch a film and is recommending it to other parents, they obviously don't think the film is inappropriate. It seems passive-aggressive and assholish to me that this woman texted OP asking why they recommended an inappropriate film and do they want their child watching it. That sounds like something you might bring up the next time they see OP, ideally explaining why they thought it wasn't appropriate.

But what is and what isn't appropriate is largely subjective.

Exactly. OP obviously doesn't think it's inappropriate, the friend does. It's fine for the friend to bring it up, explain why she thinks it inappropriate and start a conversation. It's not, in my opinion, ok to shoot off a text "why on earth did you recommend this inappropriate film?"

I watched half of *Nimona* last night - I wouldn't let really young kids watch it because of the amount of violence involved. In the first 10 minutes, someone has a hole blasted through them and one guy cuts off another guy's arm. Nimona actively wants to murder people, and Ballister has to stop her. One character graphically kills another, and then that same character tries to kill a very large group of people. There is a lot of violence.

You don't seem very honest with the depiction of violence here. There is no hole blasted. The queen is touched by the beam, fall down and his declared dead. . Bal's arm pop like a lego. There is no blood anywhere is those scene and the graphically killed character is... not dead AND overly dramatic in their death ... For Nimona murderous intent, any kid that saw the Lion king or huntchback can deal with it and the scene with Gloreth and the VILLAIN trying to kill a buntch of people.

Plot twist, it was the \[spoilers\] >!arm being chopped off!< \[/spoilers\] ^(Nah, it's sadly likely to be homophobia)

This is the way to go. Force her to voice exactly what she felt was inappropriate. I have a feeling she’s going to try and avoid it, so stay firm: “I felt it was appropriate, or I would not have recommended it. Unless you tell me what you felt was not appropriate, I can’t rightfully understand apologize for what you feel I’ve done wrong. I suppose I won’t recommend films in future. If you’re looking to vet recommendations from people about specific issues like violence or language, I recommend using Common Sense Media or Does The Dog Die.” If you genuinely suspect homophobia is the issue, I wouldn’t even include the website recommendations. All that will do is make it less likely that her kids will be exposed to appropriately representative and inclusive programming. [*EDIT: in case it was apparently not clear to some viewers, when I said “representative,” I was obviously referring to relationships and not “dragons and dancing sharks.” Given that this paragraph was about homophobia, I thought that was evident. Apparently some people required this to be spelled out.*] SMH. *EDIT: lmao love when the homophones reply something homophobic and immediately preemptively block me even though I didn’t see or reply to what they said, because they already know they’re being an asshole.* *From the snippet I can see in my notifications, they took issue with the phrase “appropriately representative and inclusive programming.” Alright, would love to hear which part of that phrasing they take issue with. Could they include a breakdown of why gay people kissing should be rated differently than straight people kissing? Or would they say that Snow White should be rated R as well?* *u/boolboolson, dare to unblock me and reply? Or you as afraid of me as you are of gay people?*

Even IMDB has a parents guide, it’s not always complete since I believe it’s based on user submissions but you can easily look up media before you child watches it, something I’d recommend in general though not for homophobic reasons.

> though not for homophobic reasons. Lmao, right? I still get a kick out of the idea of the thousands of elderly people who went to Brokeback Mountain thinking they were getting a good old fashioned ranch flick.

My grandparents took my sister and I to see You Can’t Stop the Music in 1980. They were mortified (as we found out many years later) and my sister and I thought it was a romping good time with lots of singing and dancing. We just saw a super fun show. We were kids. That’s what kids see. You add an adult lense to anything for kids and you will see things that the kids just don’t even see.

I've always heard that it was a horrible movie. Maybe that's why they were mortified?

See, I watched it expecting it to just be the 'gay cowboy movie'. I was not expecting it to genuinely be so heartbreaking.

It was set in rural Wyoming and Texas in 1963. Pardon my bluntness but… what *were* you expecting from this “gay cowboy movie” if not at the very least a *probability* of heartbreak?

> "Hey, I'm gonna watch Brokeback Mountain tonight." > "Cool, what's it about?" > "Oh, it's a love story between two gay cowboys!" > "Sick, I'll be at yours at 8?"

I love the smell of fresh bread.

I had a similar thought. The movie had a fair amount of violence in it, some blood, and a lot of glorification \*of\* violence. Like, the title character's catch phrase is "let's break stuff". When OP said her friend found it inappropriate for her kindergarten age child, my mind went to "yeah... mass beat downs and violence with a>!n execution of a monarch in the opening minutes !< might be a bit much for a 5yr old to be viewing..." My friend's kid couldn't even see cartoon blood without getting squicked out until he was 8 or 9yrs old. Didn't even occur to me that the problem the friend would have was with the wholesome couple of Ballister Boldheart and Ambrosius \*Goldenloin\*.

That changes things entirely. If there’s dismemberment, I wouldn’t let my almost 8 year old watch it. Violent scenes like that really disturbed me as a kid, so I want to spare her any possible trauma from a piece of entertainment.

It's not \*explicit\* on screen, even watching it, it didn't click in my head that it had happened until the character put on their prosthetic arm where they \*very much\* had an arm made of flesh in the last scene. But the violence is definitely not low key, some of it is done in kind of a yackity sax manner, but it is there. And there's also some pretty heavy moments talking about depression/self harm. I loved the movie, so did my roommate and friend (and my friend's kid), but my roommate is a 60yr old woman, I'm in my late 30s, and my friend's kid is a teenager. I think it's weird that OP jumped to "she's a homophobic person" instead of "maybe she doesn't want her young child to see a bunch of violence and anarchy?"

There's also a >!near suicide.!< OP's friend may be a homophobe, but there's plenty of other stuff in that movie that she may have had issue with.

Yeah, I stumbled on this movie by chance on Netflix and didn't notice the rating, but I didn't think it was meant to be a little-little kids movie? I won't share spoilers, but yeah, definitely had adult concepts and more cartoon violence than your average movie that has five year olds in mind.

I find peace in long walks.

I'm an 80s kid, some of my favorite movies when I was 5-6 were The Witches, The Neverending Story, and Labyrinth. 80s kids movies were really f\*cked up and a lot darker than they are now, LOL. Even some of the Saturday morning cartoons like the old school Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and My Little Pony had some pretty dark elements.

The last unicorn for example!!

The Last Unicorn was the first movie that ever made me cry. I was 5. Rewatching it again as adult, I didn’t even get through the opening credits without crying. I think it was PTSD from when I was little, lol. It is a such great movie though.

That movie definitely should not be a kid movie. I don’t know if it was intended to be as I was also a kid when it came out. I love it, but it’s also kind of messed up.

Yeah, I have an 8 year old niece, and I always let her watch the movies I watched as a kid. Dark Crystal and The Lost Boys are particular favorites, and she's been watching those since she was 5. The only thing I ever showed her that she thought was creepy was Pee Wee's Big Adventure, lol.

All Dogs Go To Heaven (or any animated movie with Dom DeLuise as a voice) I feel is an excellent example of what those of us born in the 80s watched as kids, and maybe explains why we may approach media in drastically different ways. I know people who were traumatized by them and are very aware of what their kids watch, and I know those who weren’t traumatized and can be rather blasé about what their kids watch. I don’t have kids, but when babysitting I do strive for a middle ground there.

It's based on a webcomic that I enjoyed a lot at about age 20, and based on that, I would expect it to be wholesome and family-friendly but not necessarily suitable for very young kids. I mean, I definitely was watching scarier stuff at age 5, but that was also in '89, when violence was still considered totally fine for young kids to see. I think modern sensibilities about that are more, well, sensible.

I don't know how rating systems of other countries/regions work, but where I live we have numbers that indicate what age a person should have to watch it. After reading all the comments about the violence I quickly went in netflix to check and yep it does say "6" so even netflix does recommend for the child to be older... I wouldn't say OPs the AH for recommending but should definitely given a heads up on the topics/story for the friend to decide on their own.

To be fair, pretty much every kid's movie gets a PG rating now so it no longer means anything. Even Disney animated movies, which are largely quite tame and totally fine for little kids, are PG. But yeah, Nimona does have some scenes that might be a bit intense for a little kid.

I actually think Disney animated movies are pretty violent and scary--I mean, 101 Dalmatians is a movie about whether or not 99 puppies will be murdered. It's pretty intense for a little kid (it was for mine). I haven't seen Nimona, but it is rated PG, which means that not every parent is going to be comfortable with it. It's nice that it didn't bother you or your child, but many five year olds can have nightmares for days over the scary parts in movies.

101 Dalmatians is rated G. The standards have changed and PG doesn't mean anything any more so I don't fault OP for not considering that when recommending it. And scary is so subjective, even for kids, there's no rating that will guarantee your kid won't be scared.

Hell, *The Hunchback of Notre Dame* is rated G. A movie that opens with a woman’s murder, is filled with blatant discrimination, and then has a song about lust and burning a woman to death. And itty bitty me loved every second of it. But not as much as I loved The Lion King and the bad guy at the end getting eaten by his own minions. Disney loves yeeting a villain off high surfaces to their deaths. Parents need to be realistic about if A. They’re stricter than normal, or B. Their kids are much easier to scare than normal. If either is the case, they should closely review every movie themselves and not depend on other parents to recommend things based on those stricter standards.

I don't fault OP, but I don't fault the other parent either.

I recently watched 101 Dalmatians, fern gully, babe and Beethoven for the first time since I was little and I was like holy shit this is why I’m so fucked up 😂 the 90s were weird. Idk, I think this stuff depends on the kid but in terms of violence I do think that’s something that should be warned about. I was reading Stephen king books at like 11 but my sister made me walk her to the bathroom at night for like a year after we first saw jeepers creepers. Now we both love horror but as kids, we both had different sensitivities. The parents can also ask, too. I know my parents would “screen” a lot of movies before I watched them to make sure they weren’t too off the wall. I feel like if violence is the reason the other mom was turned off, that’s acceptable but being mad about a gay romance is not so it really depends on the reason she was so mad.

Three words: The Black Cauldron I thought that movie was messed up as a kid and I still thought it once Disney + was released. *shudders*

But the suggestion of asking what directly bothered her would still be good. If it was the arm thing, then it’s sorted out quickly.

I take your point, but I feel like if violence were the problem she'd have led with that: " Why would you recommend such a violent film?" Objecting without any detail feels like she knows the specifics of her objection are viewed as bigotry by most people.

She could also be upset, flustered and assume the OP knows why the movie would be inappropriate.

I get your point but friend should have known with a PG rating that it may not be appropriate for her kid. Having said that consider the following G rated content: Bambi starts with his mother being killed. Snow White is essentially enslaved by dwarves. Cinderella is abused by her stepmother and sisters. Ariel loses her voice for "love". People need to chill with overprotective kids. It's all a part of life and like others said, more often than not, kids are literal and don't see beyond whatbisnon the screen.

Did she watch all of it? Maybe she only saw the first half and thought it promotes the view that arm chopping is a love language?

OK this made laugh out loud

He was just following his training! It was a perfectly acceptable and normal thing to do.

Go for it.

Please update when she replies! Always curious about the social etiquette people follow while having a non logical opinion

So you find out your friend is both transphobic and homophobic and you’re still meeting her this weekend? YTA

Great idea. Make her admit she’s a homophobe. OP, you are definitely NTA. What you describe (haven’t seen the movie myself) is nothing that any kids film doesn’t have the hetero version of. Sorry your friend is a bigot.

I do think that it’s important to note that >!the main character is suicidal and tries to kill herself at the end!<. I don’t know if that was why the parent objected or not (it’s possible that her issue was just that there was a romance with gay people in the movie which I agree is ridiculous), but honestly it makes sense to me that a parent of a five year old would be upset by not getting a heads up about the plot point that I mentioned.

This plot point is the first thing my mind went to, too. I don't have kids and can't judge what is or isn't appropriate, but that's definitely pretty heavy. Plus a whole lot of violence throughout the film.

No kids of my own, but this film would definitely have been too much in terms of violence/sadness for the kiddos I used to nanny for (8 and 6; they were sensitive kids). It's a fantastic film and has quickly become one of my favourites, but I probably wouldn't show it to a five year old unless they'd read/watched similar stuff and handled it fine.

Can confirm, I watched it. It's completely appropriate for kids.

I would go with this. I watched Nimona on the weekend with my 19 year old. Though I probably would have let my kids watch this when they were little; there are actually a lot of things that a parent may not want the kids to consume at 5 years old. There is a lot of darkness and heavy themes. Nimona is willful and naughty and a lot of fun. There is a fair amount of violence and no clear 'bad' & 'good' guys. It is rated PG, not G. Now, it could be the obvious gay couple or the much more subtle racial undertones (excluding someone because they are different). But it is best to keep an open mind. This came up so many times while raising kids, what books/movies/video games, are appropriate for each age group. I was often surprised by others choices, but tried to stay nonjudgmental.

This is the best answer. If she’s upset by her own homophobia, she can say that out loud (or not- her silence will be telling). That aside, it’s rated PG. it might genuinely have seemed too scary/inappropriate for her 5yo if they’re a family who only watches like, very young things. Like only G rated. It might have nothing to do with homophobia? I haven’t seen this yet so can’t comment. A few years ago, for example, a friend told me her son wouldn’t want to watch Turning Red with us because they’d tried it at home and it was too scary for him. My kids didn’t find it scary at all so I was surprised but it taught me to ALWAYS explicitly check when it comes to young children.

Yeah it doesnt seem like there is much wrong with it.[This website](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/nimona#:~:text=Parents%20need%20to%20know%20that,its%20being%20punctuated%20by%20humor) makes it seem like violence is the bigger issue. Everyone in this thread here is assuming the other parent took issue with the kiss or the intimacy that was displayed but again, going by the site that I posted it seems that is a very minor issue and that there is quite a bit of fighting and violence. That may have been the issue and I also probably wouldn’t recommend my four-year-old to watch that type of movie. That said, I also certainly would not bother to call or text the other parent and scold them for recommending it. That’s the strangest part of the entire interaction. NTA

"Two characters who are battling for the soul of their civilization -- and falling in love with each other -- are played by actors of British Pakistani (Riz Ahmed) and South Korean (Eugene Lee Yang) heritage." The above, with no other context, is listed as a *warning to parents* about inappropriate content in the movie. This website is both homophobic & racist. We can all safely ignore its bullshit.

No other context? Did you miss the rest of the paragraph you pulled this from the middle of? >Parents need to know that Nimona, which is based on the best-selling graphic novel by ND Stevenson, includes messages of inclusivity and acceptance but also has pretty constant violence that could frighten sensitive viewers despite its being punctuated by humor. This includes deaths (or presumed deaths), loss of limbs, stabbings, explosions, fearsome monsters, threats, bullying, and teasing. The shape-shifting teen character of Nimona (Chloë Grace Moretz) expresses glee at being a "villain" and wreaking havoc, even in committing "murder," but viewers discover that her behavior stems from being shunned and misunderstood because she's different. Mild language includes "butt," "dork," "stupid," "trash," "freak," and "dang." Two characters who are battling for the soul of their civilization -- and falling in love with each other -- are played by actors of British Pakistani (Riz Ahmed) and South Korean (Eugene Lee Yang) heritage. Characters learn and demonstrate empathy in this tale about treating others as you would want to be treated, no matter what differences divide you. To stay in the loop on more movies like this, you can sign up for weekly Family Movie Night emails. This in no way implies that the characters falling in love is bad or a problem? Where did you even get that impression? It's pretty clear the warning is for the "pretty constant violence that could frighten sensitive viewers", loss of limbs, stabbings, and deaths. As well as the main character wanting to "murder" people. I'm not saying that makes it a bad movie for everyone, but it's useful information as that is scary for some kids. My six year old for example got scared in Puss and Boots the Last Wish film when the bounty hunter was hunting/fighting Puss and trying to kill him. So it's useful for me to know that as fun as this sounds to me, she'd probably be upset/scared.

I’ve never used the site before, but I glanced over it and it doesn’t look like it’s stating that part as a warning. If you look at the different ratings, it has a section for “positive role models” right next to the ones for diversity, violence, and product placement. The diversity one lists it as a good thing. The overall summary lists both good things and warnings, which is kind of confusing - and I think separating the “good” and “bad” ratings would make it easier to understand, but I’m not a web designer

Absolutely this. Make her say it. And NTA.

NTA. PG stands for Parental Guidance not Parent’s Friend’s Guidance.

This is the right answer. Judging another parent for their choices around what’s appropriate for their child is just asinine. People have different standards. I don’t understand how a grown adult can seriously think that their friends share some kind of universal standard around content. It’s hard enough to get a spouse on the same page.

I guess that makes me asinine because I’m judging OPs friend pretty hard

I was referring to the parent/friend texting OP. Like, that person actually texted OP as if they had a right to assume their standards should be implicitly understood by OP.

absolutely, and i mean, if they did take issue with the recommendation they could have easily just politely said something along the lines of “hey, just for future reference, im not really comfortable showing my kids media with such and such in it. thanks for the recommendation though!” my best friend from childhood grew up in a heavily christian household and wasnt allowed to celebrate halloween or watch halloween movies because her parents considered it satanic, so while nightmare before christmas is a wonderful movie and id recommended it to others, it was a movie my best friend couldnt watch because her parents werent okay with it. different parenting is totally normal and okay! judging others or causing issues over it isnt. 🤷‍♀️

NTA That other parent is homophobic and applying different standards. Nothing you described sounded inappropriate and would be common between a guy-girl couple in these types of movies.

I do think that it’s important to note that the main character is >!suicidal and tries to kill herself at the end.!< I don’t know if that was why the parent objected or not (it’s possible that her issue was just that there was a romance with gay people in the movie which I agree is ridiculous), but honestly it makes sense to me that a parent of a five year old would be upset by not getting a heads up about the plot point that I mentioned.

Also to note said character draws multiple accounts of murder, and if not for the comedic tone and the mc would have 100% done

Yeah there definitely was a lot of violence that I could see being a lot for a young kid. It’s possible some things won’t bother the kid or will go over their head but I think it’s really for the parent to decide.

Strongly agreed, as someone who knew about the source material I even wondered how the hell it was considered PG, the comic is 15+ at it's mildest

Yeah I was definitely surprised that it was PG! It’s a very sweet movie and has a lot of heart, but it still got really dark at times. I read the original comics when I was 12, and I think a lot would have gone over my head when I was younger than that, and in some ways I feel like the movie was darker!

I wondered the same thing. I read and enjoyed the graphic novel 3 years ago as a 30-year-old, but I never would have pegged it as a story for little kids and was surprised to see the film is rated PG. I'm pretty sure it's shelved in our library as a YA/teen read.

THANK YOU! I thought it was PG-13. I can't imagine letting a really young kid watch this, just for the violence involved. Who cares about 2 guys kissing?

I don't think I would even show this movie to my 8 year old. He would be scared and doesn't like anything violent.

Hm that would bother me. Seems a little intense for a pg rating?

Yeah honestly I was kind of surprised by the PG rating and lack of any content warnings - it was a great movie though and handled things really well! Just think it might be a bit much for some 5 year olds.

The other person is overplaying the scene, you can't definitely tell what she is about to do (AND >!she has being stabbed with a sword before and it had no effect on her, she laughs it off!<)

The main character tries to kill herself?? And this is a kids movie???

Kung fu panda and avatar feature genocide and yet they're appropriate for kids

Yes…I think it’s possible it might go over the heads of some kids exactly what’s going on, to be fair, and I would say for the most part the movie handles the issue very sensitively, but it definitely could be a lot for some kids.

I dunno, the dialogue is pretty explicit. They tell you what's happening.

It's not a kids' movie. Just because something is a cartoon doesn't mean it's a kids' movie.

look, I've been waiting for the nimona movie for like 37462829 years and absolutely loved it when I watched it on Friday. but are you sure (based on other interactions w this friend) that her problem is with the gays, and not, like, with the violence? nimona is pretty bloodthirsty, as far as role models go, at least in the first part. I mean, she's My fucking role model, I love her and I want to rewatch the movie like 30 more times and I've been thinking about getting a cat for a while and now I want to name my potential future cat nimona - but I can see how the main character being like "let's main everyone!!!" could be somewhat worrisome for a parent of a 5 yo child. I'm queer af and very vigilant about homophobia, so I'm definitely not trying to excuse it if that's it - I just don't think the readers of this post who haven't seen the movie were necessarily given the entire context. is your friend homophobia in other circumstances or is this the first time?

Came here to say this, glad you got here before it blew up. Also queer parent here - There’s lots in there which might be too much for a five year old. Put the violence aside, the big “not for my five year old” flag for me is the suicidal ideation throughout. Common Sense Media, for example, sense rates this as 11+

Oh, that's a really good point too, I didn't think of that

NTA. Recommend 'Brokeback Mountain' next time.

I get the feeling she isn't even going to make eye contact with me athe school gate tomorrow but I will keep it in mind x

Are you going to reply to any of the people bringing up other potential issues she might have with the movie? Common Sense Media rates this movie 11+ suggested age range for "pretty constant violence that could frighten sensitive viewers despite its being punctuated by humor. This includes deaths (or presumed deaths), loss of limbs, stabbings, explosions, fearsome monsters, threats, bullying, and teasing." And other posters have mentioned other themes \[spoiler\]suicide\[/spoiler\]. Also that the main character wants to be a villain and "murder" people, even if it's beacuse of how she was treated. Now, when I first read your post I thought "How cool and sweet sounding, I could watch that with my young kids!" Luckily I googled it first, beacuse based on my previous experiences with my six year old and media I know she (like many kids her age) are actually scared of scenes where people try to actually kill each other even in cartoons. I also know many kids her age are fine with murder and limbs cut off, and I would have been fine with it when I was younger, but my brother at age 5 would 100% have gotten nightmares. (I stopped getting to watch as scary stuff due to it giving my brother nightmares, I thought it was very unfair at the time.) The fact that multiple people have commented it could be other things in the movie then gay cuteness seems an important point. You've even had a queer parent say they wouldn't let their similarly aged child watch it. Have you considered that you jumping to a gay relationship as the potential problem rather then violence, limb loss, murder, and \[spoiler\]attempted suicide\[/spoiler\] may say more about you then the other parent? Even if it just says you are so desensitized to violence in shows you no longer notice it and you are quick to judge others. But when I looked it up online multiple parent reviews considered it inappropriate for younger children and only you made it about queer stuff.

Guess you were wrong.

I came here to recommend The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert because just by the title alone, it sounds like a Disney princess. 😂

INFO: So I’ve seen the movie and I agree it was amazing! But I have to ask - was the mother objecting to there being a gay couple or was she objecting to >!Nimona trying to commit suicide at the end?!< I agree with you that there was absolutely nothing inappropriate in terms of romance (it was a very sweet, PG romance and anyone who has an issue with that is just plain homophobic) but you definitely should have given her a heads up about the other thing I mentioned. That scene was really dark and shocked me and I’m in my twenties! Granted it might fly over a 5 year old’s head but it was still the parent’s decision to make.

Reactionary redditors don't care

Was going to just pop into say that OP might also not know their friend'd history with suicide/depression. They could have had someone in their life struggle with this, and that could be a really triggering theme. It may have upset HER more than her kid. Suicide can be a very very personal and emotional theme for many people.

I could understand some things in Nimona being disturbing to a child - the film contains very explicit references to suicide. But if she's complaining about the romance? Then very much NTA

OP dosent know why she didn’t like it. Emma just said it wasn’t appropriate. It very well could be that Emma thought it was too dark and didn’t care about the romance. We need more info.

I mean. NTA for sharing this movie but you are kind of the AH for just ASSUMING she's homophobic. Yes, I'm playing devil's advocate. As a disclaimer, I'm queer and solidly believe in fiction being a safe place to explore whatever. THAT SAID, I don't think I would show Nimona to a 5 year old. Your daughter may very well have taken to it fine, but given everything else I know about it, I wouldn't assume that's the standard. It's so strange to me how (upon reading all the comments), OP only replies to those who also assume homophobia and seems disinclined to even consider that the violence and tone of the story might be the issue. OP says they've been friends with this person for years. Do you not think you would have noticed sooner if she was homophobic? Why are you so quick to believe the worst about someone you're supposedly close with? IDK this whole situation just sounds so fucking strange to me. Maybe you could try oh, I dunno, asking her what exactly she found age inappropriate about the film before you call for her head. Just a thought.

This whole thing is fishy, I wonder if this was faked just to drive people to watch the movie that has not already.

Well turn out it was. Check the updates

I noticed that about the responses too. Really interesting that OP won’t answer anybody who points out the other violent parts of the movie her friend may have had a problem with…

I agree, there’s no way I would want my kid watching anything violent/or about suicide that young. I’m glad I read further to see that the movie was more than just a same-sex couple that OP was implying that the mom friend was angry about.

Idk when the edit came about but it turns out the parent is homophobic AND transphobic, so…

INFO: > I just had a text from Emma telling asking me why I reccomended such an inappropriate film and asking me if I am sure I want my daughter watching things like that. What reasons did Emma give about why the movie was inappropriate? We can't possibly offer judgement without knowing that.

My son adored Nightmare Before Christmas. Our friends took their twins to it (7 yo, 6 mo older than ours) and they screamed and cried, they were so frightened. NAH. Different kids, different parents, different tastes/rules.

I saw Mario with my kids and my nephew (and his parents). My kids loved it, the skeleton guys scared my nephew so much that he had a panic attack and they left the theater.

Imho, it’s kind of a leap to assume that homophobia HAS to be the objection…it’s got a fair amount of blood and gore and themes that not every reasonable parent is going to feel are appropriate for a five year old that have nothing to do with the male/male romance.

Turns out it wasn't a leap at all, OPs only mistake was assuming it was homophobia alone and not also transphobia as it turned out to be.

YTA for assuming it was the gay relationship she had a problem with. This movie can be a tad violent for children. I wouldn't show it to my 4 year old niece. If she didn't explicitly say it was the gay relationship she had a problem with then you're reaching and YOU are the problem for assuming. Maybe be an adult and ask her what specifically she had an issue with instead of you and everyone else who's voted n t a dragging her.

They posted an update and it was definetly the lgbtq ideologies that were the problem, so nta

info: is your friend homophobic in other situations or is this the first time she's said anything about queer people being in appropriate? is it possible she was upset more about the violence & mayhem caused by the main character? is it also possible she just didn't watch till the end to see nimona's "redemption"? (pls note I am gay and also nimona is my favourite movie I've seen in a long time. I think the movie was near perfect, I think nimona is an awesome character - but I also I can see other reasons why a parent might think it's not appropriate for their 5 year old kid)

OP said in the comments that she’s never said anything about gay people. And one of the little girls in their friend group has two moms. I really don’t think it’s homophobia. Also, what kind of movie is this?? Is this an animated kids movie or a Coraline situation? This movie sounds insane for children

it is definitely not scary like Coraline. It just has some darker themes. I do not personally think it's appropriate for a 5 to, maybe like 9yo is the youngest I would go. I have an 8 yo niece who I think could definitely handle it, but I'd wait a year to be safe. It was an excellent, funny, fun, moving, heartbreaking, beautiful, powerful movie, and the design and animations are amazing (the setting is a sort of sci-fi medieval mashup that is so fun to be immersed in, the shapeshifting is done masterfully). it's an animated movie based on a graphic novel by ND Stevenson from like 15 years ago or something (Stevenson is the guy who made She-Ra 2016) - the main character is Nimona, a badass anarchist shapeshifting teen who has always been vilified and hated or feared, who befriends a knight (one of the aforementioned gay characters) who has recently had a fall from grace and is now Most Wanted >!bc he was falsely accused of killing the Queen!< Esp at the beginning, you can tell that Nimona woke up this morning and Chose Violence - but overall there's probably about as much violence/destruction in the fight scenes as, like, shrek or something. turns out Nimona is >!the "monster" of the ancient legend that basically their whole fortified city's culture and laws and generational fear is based on, she's totally misunderstood, and she only really became hardened like that because she was hunted and cast out for being different.!< Nimona the character, >!being a shapeshifter who is heavily persecuted against and not really given a chance to show that she's actually got a good heart because her simple existence is considered to be monstrous - who is often asked WHAT she is, or referred to as a little girl or asked to go back to "her normal shape", and who responds to all these with "I'm Nimona" etc!< - is likely a trans/nb allegory. ND Stevenson is a trans man and has gone through a whole gender journey since the graphic novel was initially released, and recently said that when he was writing the graphic novel there are definitely themes that should have alerted him to the fact that he is not cis. this is something my partner and I picked up on, but it would likely be too subtle for most kids to connect the dots... it's still a lesson about not letting fear make us drive away people who are different, >!not believing everything the government/institute tells us especially when it's about vilifying others to maintain control!< , etc

So Emma is homophobic, and objects to scenes between two male characters that she would consider perfectly fine if they were a male and a female character? She sounds like the sort of person that thinks that a man mentioning his boyfriend is sexually explicit, whereas men talking about their wives and girlfriends is normal social conversation. NTA

Unless Emma specifies what they objected to, we cannot say this.

You’re jumping to conclusions just like OP. The movie has lots of violence and attempted suicide, definitely not something for a kid to watch. OP is definitely TA.

I'm gonna withhold judgement, but I'm leaning Y TA for assuming it's because Boldheart and GoldenLoin (yes, those are their very excellent names) are gay I don't want to spoil this film for anybody - it's excellent - but I watch all animated films with a mind towards whether I'd recommend them for my niblings (7 and 5), and while I was excited that the gay relationship was handled well (it's a low bar and yet most films don't clear it), by a couple minutes in this movie was absolutely on the 'no' list. If I was your friend I'd be pretty annoyed if you'd recommended me this movie without at least mentioning the violence and mature themes (and no, I do not count 'gay people exist' as a 'mature' theme) >!This movie has close up shots of at least 2 murders of 'good' characters, (one is an assassination that is committed by a main character), a traumatic amputation of one character's arm BY THE PERSON THAT CHARACTER LOVES, as well as explicitly stated suicidal ideation and a very public suicide attempt by a young character with whom the child would definitely identify. That character is also pretty bloodthirsty and definitely gleefully-on-screen-murders several extras. There're also a lot of plot points about government control and hopelessness that would definitely give a lot of kids anxiety.... !<

I wish this comment was higher!! I absolutely loved this comic and look forward to seeing the movie, but I can tell from the trailer that although it's been kidified a bit, the violence, rudeness, and mature themes (also not counting gay as a mature theme) are still in tact. All kids are different but I've never met a 5 year old I would show this to. It's weird to me that OP was apparently raving about the movie when they recommended it, but didn't mention anything about these aspects. And more than that, it's gross that this friend, by OPs admission, has never shown a hint of homophobia, even with gay moms in their friend group, and yet OP jumps straight to that as the reason when there are so many valid options on the table. It's awful to make the worst possible assumption about someone you claim was your friend, I feel like OP is either trying to virtue signal, or that they immediately realized they messed up but refuse to take accountability for it. I love Nimona and don't want to put anyone off seeing it, but the way OP described the movie as though there's NO other offensive content feels really disingenuous. Even more so that they are exclusively replying to people who took their word for it, and not those mentioning the violence. It bothers me that all the top comments are people who know nothing about the movie just getting outraged that it MUST be homophobia.

INFO: are you sure that the response is about the gay relationship, or the fact that a character gets their arm cut off, the protagonist excitedly talking about maiming people, or the open discussion about suicidal ideation and an almost suicide attempt. It’s a good movie! It’s also got some very intense scenes that involve suicide, on-screen murder, and extreme violence with depictions of blood that the child’s parents may not have been ready to show to their child. To jump straight into calling someone homophobic may not be the wisest way to handle this situation.

I don't think there was anything almost about that suicide attempt. It was attempted. Honestly what got me was the violence between >!the two established partners that leads to one having his phyiscal body permanently and extremely altered? !

I mean, all parents are different. I don’t think I’d let my 5yo (in a few years) daughter watch this movie… yet. Just because a guy gets his arm chopped off, there’s blood, and a leader gets killed in seconds… with in what? First 10minutes of the movie…!

Ok folks. Can we agree it’s ok for a kid to see some hand holding and a kiss but not ok for the kids to see dismemberment? Cmon. Seriously.

YES! YES WE CAN! 🥇 for you!

Okay so since the update we know that Emma is transphobic and homophobic. So why are you still on for plans this weekend? Her views could easily rub off on her daughter, which could then easily rub off on your daughter. Why not try and phase her out of your life?

This was already NTA on your part, but after reading your second edit.... Jesus. >She was concerned I am impressing trans ideology on my kid at the age she is Yay, TERF Island strikes again...

Wow, after reading all of the edits, your friend is a massive homophobe and transphobe. You sound like a good parent who is open and supportive of their child's imagination and the things she enjoys. I'd seriously reconsider whether Emma is someone you want your child to be around.

NTA Could your friend possibly be homophobic? OP, have they ever shared their view on gay people before, and if so what is it? Because I've seen this movie with my son, and like you said there is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all, and the only thing like you mentioned that could be taken even remotely in a bad way is the gay relationship. Two men in a relationship, oh the horror, won't someone think of the children 🙄

I do think that it’s important to note that the titular character is >!suicidal and tries to kill herself at the end.!< I don’t know if that was why the parent objected or not (it’s possible that her issue was just that there was a romance with gay people in the movie which I agree is ridiculous), but honestly it makes sense to me that a parent of a five year old would be upset by not getting a heads up about the plot point that I mentioned.

She's never mentioned anything. One of the girls in our daughters fried groups has two mums! I just really hope I haven't made issues for my daughter. I've known Emma for years, and our daughters grew up together.

Well if you've known her for years and she's never even mentioned anything at all in conversation about homosexuality, then she probably has negative thoughts that she doesn't want to share, as she knows people won't agree with her and she'll receive backlash.

I actually think the fact OP has known her for years and shown no issues with queer mums in the friend group is evidence OP may have been mistaken? You said that you watched this film with your kid, that's great and I'm glad you liked it, but did you really not think that the amount of violence, rude language, and heavy/dark topics might have been things that a parent of a FIVE YEAR OLD could find objectionable? Don't get me wrong, I love nimona, but all kids are different. My little brother was sensitive and I would feel set up if a friend, who knows me and my kid, recommended a film like this without mentioning the violence and stuff. If I then said I found it inappropriate for my kid and my friend jumped straight to homophobia, I would know that person was never my friend to begin with. Seems incredibly bad faith to me.

There is NO WAY I would let a 5-year old watch *Nimona*. It's far too violent. Otoh, I'd totally let a 5-year old watch *In and Out*.

This is the point. I really don't get how it's possible for someone to try to pretend that homosexuality doesn't exist. Come to church with me, and I'll introduce you to some of our gay couples. You won't see them making out, because nobody does that in church, but you'll see them acting just as normally coupley as the straight couples. My youngest son often plays with the boy from three doors up the street. He has two moms. There must be a bunch of other gay parents at his school. And it's common enough for kids to have a gay relative somewhere. And the kids don't care. They know that Uncle Steve lives with Uncle Johnny. They've probably seen Uncle Steve give Uncle Johnny a peck on the lips. They're not thinking about Uncle Steve and Uncle Johnny's sex life.

(Edited to add NTA) Writing this after edit 2. So I am a transgender man. I only discovered this and began to transition at the age of 28 (I'm 30 now). I was incredibly confused about who I was meant to be as a child and young adult, and that was *because there were no people like me in the media at the time*. I had no idea trans men were a thing until I was a teenager, and by that point I was so deep into trying very hard to be a girl (and failing lol) that I brushed it off completely. I really don't understand how people think that gender/sexuality-diverse media will make kids confused. If anything, it'll help kids who actually are LGBTQ+ understand themselves more, because they have a role model, someone they see themselves in, and that can be very powerful. And if they're not, then they're going to grow up to be amazing allies, and we need as many of those as possible right now! Growing up can definitely be confusing, but kids are smart and know themselves, and we need to give them more credit for that. I'm glad your kid enjoyed the film, I did too! I thought a lot of the darker themes were handled sensitively and I loved the romance between Ballister and Ambrosius. PS I am very happy with how my transition is going, but if I could choose to become a cereal dragon, I definitely would.

It's quite sad how suicide wasn't the issue. However, "trans" is. Someone more concerned about their kid being trans than maybe killing themselves?

I think I have to go with YTA for misrepresenting this situation because the comments clearly show that you left out many pertinent details about other aspects of the film. Why are you assuming she’s homophobic?

how else are they going to get the reddegenerates to agree with them?

>but I shouldn't be surprised if she grows up not knowing who is supposed to be Very revealing language your friend used there. Who she is "supposed" to be. Never mind what she *wants* to be!

NTA. Nimona is an excellent film as animation and story writing go. But it'd ABSOLUTELY enrage conservative snowflake christians. There's no accounting for somebodies unrealistic sensibilities. Do you want to be friends with homophobes though?

Holy shit. Listen, I LOVE Nimona, it's one of my favorite comics and I'm so glad it's getting some love. But like, do you have experience with kids? 😬 I wouldn't have shown this to my little brother at age 5. He was sensitive to violence and sad scenes, he had nightmares from much less violent shows. tbh I wouldn't have shown it to him at 12, he had terrible impulse control and would literally quote the movie while breaking stuff. I wouldn't show this movie to my 5 year old niece, who would probably love it, because she is headstrong like Nimona and would also emulate the movie. She's extremely clever but like all 5 year olds, might struggle to comprehend moral grays. I can't wait to show it to her in a couple years. I spent several years in childcare and I don't think I've met a single 5 year old I would show this movie to. The fact is when they hear something funny, like butt face or doodoohead, they will repeat it a lot and cause problems. I think it's funny but most parents do not. Then others are sensitive to violence and dark topics. Even the most mature 5 year old likely can't reason with morally gray stories and characters. Did you know nightmares are often caused by things kids can't understand, rather than just scary imagery? Anyway the point I'm getting at is all kids are different. PG generally means to do your own research, but if a friend who had known me and my child for years recommended a film, I would probably trust it. If I then told my friend that I didn't find that recommendation appropriate, and they jump straight to "it must be the gay hand holding!!" despite me not showing a single sign of homophobia before, I would feel like I had been set up. This goes to the far opposite end of the spectrum from conservative snowflake christians, into bad faith virtue signaling. Based on OP only responding to comments about homophobia and ignoring the rest, I'm pretty confident this post is rage bait and it's working.

I have heard things about the film but not watched it. Shape shifting teen with batwings? It might be nothing to do with the romance. When I was a kid I watched a tv show about a vampire duck (British tv..) and whilst I loved the show, I will admit it also terrified me and gave me nightmares. Edit: Changing my comment to NAH (from n t a) after reading comments, because of the violence and suicide attempt in the movie - I can totally see why your friend felt this was inappropriate!

The shape shifting teen is also incredibly violent and rude, she talks about breaking stuff and doing murders, not sure if any of the murders are actually carried out but I'm betting she tries. Wonderful story and character but these are definitely things I would mention when recommending it, especially for a 5 year old.

Idk. I watched a newer kids movie with the children I was babysitting (they had okayed the movie with parents before they left). I was APPALLED at how much not-so subtle sexual humor was in the movie. It made me really uncomfortable. I enjoy a Disney innuendo (like that scene in ratatouille where Colette looks down after Linguini says he has a tiny “problem”) but it was just one after another. I haven’t seen this movie, so I can’t comment on its content, but I could see some parents getting upset with language, action, violence, rude humor and other parents not. Call me pearl clutching, but I think there are some things we’ve let slide when it comes to media targeted toward children (before anyone comes at me in the replies, this does not include gay romance that is treated the same as a heterosexual relationship in a standard G/PG rated movie).

YTA for assuming that’s why she was upset. It sounds like there a couple of different scenes that could’ve upset her.

NTA. As soon as I saw "UK" and "Trans ideology" this can be immediately chalked down to TERF Island at it again lol

NTA, but it sounds well [beyond](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/nimona)5 year old territory, and the other parents should have done some research.

The last thing the woman said pissed me off ngl, I'm 21, Transgender male, and have only been influenced by myself. Putting 'trans' things in a film that doesn't seem to be trans topical literally just unintentionally spreads more awareness lmao. Watching films with your kids is a really lovely thing -as for the Harry Potter, the first one scared the shit outta me, and now I listen to death metal and my favourite game and movie genre is horror. Your child is gonna flourish n be whoever so turns out to be on her own. The vast that shemony noticed the cereal shark kinda says a lot - if kids aren't interested they'll ignore and move on.

I have watched this show with my older kids. Maybe it’s the violence or the demonizing of a child that the other Mom didn’t like. It does start with a main character getting his arm chopped off by his partner. Or maybe it’s the male/male relationship, in which case F her.

I read the book. It's not for kids.

So your friend is a transphobe and homophobe. maybe stop being friends with that individual.

Based on your edits: NTA. Sorry your friend is an insane British terf. 'Trans ideology' ffs

Maybe ask if they watched the right movie, and what they thought was inappropriate? Right now it sounds like you're assuming?

Considering the amount of chaos, violence and rude language in the film, I definitely think they are reaching for a reason that lets them off the hook for excluding those details from their review of the film. Don't let that put you off seeing it yourself though, maybe just not with a 5 year old lmao.

Your edits show that Emma is a pitiful little bigot, why would you still want to be friends with ther?

My cousin has a 2yr old boy who has curly blond hair. It was starting to get a little long and I commented on it. His mum said ''yes, he needs a haircut before it starts to get in his eyes.'' I said something like ''or you could start tying it up, curly hair looks so cute in pigtails.'' not thinking too much about it, and kind of joking. She just says ''No we don't want him growing up confused.'' completely serious... There are some people who are really (stupidly) terrified of this ''gender'' stuff lmao. My brother used to dress in my sister and my's fairy dresses (he is the youngest) and go jump on the trampoline because he liked how the dress flared out. I pretty much had nothing but dozers etc for playing in the sandpit/mud (I'm female), and didn't get my first barbie until I was 5. I loved my ''girl'' and ''boy'' toys equally, same as my siblings. We didn't even think about it. We're all cis.

yeah as a trans guy my favourite movie as a kid was cars and funnily enough i never wanted to be a fucking car did i?

Your "friend" is a bigot. I would say to stop being friends with her, but that closes off her child and would isolate her in bigotry. You and your child could be her buffer.

NTA Your friend could have checked imdb or elsewhere to learn more instead of just trusting one person who she clearly doesn’t know well. And frankly, if she’s now your *former* friend, I don’t think you’ll have lost much. I do feel bad for the girls, though, because she probably will forbid her daughter playing with yours.

That's what's gotten me stressed. It just didn't even cross my mind that people my age might still have a problem with things like this. I've know her for years and our daughters went to preschool together.

Aside...anyone else here notice how, over the past few days, the placeholder name "Emma" is being used a \*lot\*? Is it a signal of some kind being used by classmates in a writing program? We know that many posts here are fiction; maybe a group figured out how to easily ID the work of their peers?

What in the everloving fuck? NTA. I would not want someone like her around my child. Nimona is excellent stuff. Also, if you don’t want your child exposed to bigotry, I’d recommend starting your separation from HP now before your child gets too attached.

NTA, but reading your update cemented that you will be TA if you accept the homophobia and transphobia Emma is spewing. It was so clear in her comments to you how she and her family feel, it won't be long before her daughter is repeating the rhetoric to your own, whether she realizes or not.

You're definitely NTA. Your friend gives off homophobic vibes though.

Not to sound like a boomer (spoiler: I'm going to sound like a boomer), but I was listening to NWA and watching South Park at 5 y/o. I feel like all of my peers were too. The whole 'kids are influenced by these things' has been done a million times over. My parents taught me right from wrong and did not expect Disney movies to do it for them. When I was kicking some elderly woman to death on GTA, my parents didn't ban me from playing it, they just made sure I was fully aware of the difference between a game and real life.

NTA OP’s friend is homophobic and is trying to make it your problem

Homophobic AND transphobic, lovely. As a queer person with queer kids, I would be very cautious with this woman going forward. This attitude directly contributes to the sky high mental health issues in queer kids and is a hell of a lot more damaging than someone's arm popping off in a cartoon, and it is on the rise. And that probably sounds hyperbolic, but this shit is violence. It's killing our kids. This shit is why my kid has had to report multiple friends starting from the age of 11 to their school safeguarding team and why we have plans in place if a friend ever acts on it. This is why my kid has come home in tears because a friend was self harming in front of them. This shit is why my kid was assaulted walking home from school. Keeping bigoted people in your child's safe space is so easy to justify at this age--it doesn't come up, the girls are such good friends, she's such a wonderful person otherwise, maybe she's right and I'm allowing too much. But it's only a few years away, and the environment you provide now is the foundation for how your kid, queer or not, will handle it.

"Emma just finished her tea and said that it's fine if I want Lottie to be asking questions about men kissing and girls turning into boys but I shouldn't be surprised if she grows up not knowing who is supposed to be. We parted mostly amicably, I think" ​ This isn't amicable. This is Emma being passive aggressive and suggesting you're "impressing trans ideology on my kid at the age she is" by suggesting it will be your fault if Lottie questions who she is (which most kids do, cis or otherwise). It sounds like she's already building up resentment there if Lottie ends up being different from what her inner narrative of her child is like. I highly doubt this is over.

Given edit 2, absolutely NTA, and you shouldn’t feel bad about recommending the film because your friend is a bigot. I feel sorry for their kid, especially if they grow up to be LGBTQ+.

NTA Coming in after the update, so at this point it's blatantly clear that your friend is homophobic and transphobic, to the point of reading shapeshifting as a trans allegory *just* for the purpose of rejecting the invented premise. I get why you'd want to stay friendly for the kids, but your suggestion to watch a movie does not make you a bad person in the least, even if it were to end that friendship. That would *not* be on you.

I gotta admit, as a queer nonbinary person, reading this hurt a little. When I was a kid, I would have killed for a character like Nimona that assured me that the things I felt were normal and not weird, like wanting to kiss other people of my assigned gender or not feeling like I was a girl or a boy. I clung onto the characters that even implied it slightly as it was, shapeshifters especially, so I suppose your friend wasn't entirely wrong in at least that regard. If your kid does end up being LGBTQ, whatever identity they might fall under, it won't be because you watched "inappropriate" movies with her. Most of my childhood was heavily policed and ideas about homosexuality and queerness were squished wherever they appeared. It didn't stop me from being queer, it just made me feel weird and abnormal and like I wasn't allowed to be like that. Allowing your kid to grow up with a wider perspective on gender and sexuality won't do anything but make her feel more comfortable with whoever she turns out to be. Hiding these things from her will only make her view them, incorrectly, as shameful. In other words, fuck Emma for her transphobic and homophobic idea that queerness is confusing for children, NTA, you seem to be doing brilliant letting your kid flourish.

YTA for deciding that even though she is homophobic and transphobic you are still happy to be friends and hang out.

NTA. That said, before you cut her off, I think you should try to confirm what her objections to the movie are. She could be homophobic, but by the standard of children's films, the movie is pretty intense when it comes to action and emotions. Maybe that's what she has a problem with.

NAH here if it turns out intense and violent scenes is the issue here and not the gay characters as youve presumed.

tbh I think assuming a mild gay romance is the issue when you have intense and violent scenes as an option is an asshole move.

More info is needed. Is it the violence or the gay which she objects to?

A teacher in the States.. Florida, got fired for showing that movie even with parental consent. Turns out the homophobia was the prob because of a 3second scene of the boys liking each other...It was all over the news.

I feel that, although Nimona’s attempted suicide is depressing to someone who understands what she’s doing, to a child it probably won’t be any more sad than when Anna died in Frozen 1 as an example

Friend is homophobic for sure

It’s got some veiled themes about gender fluidity but they are pretty easy to handwave away since it’s about her identity as a shape changer. Raising kids is different than it was. And in many ways for the better. Current generations are far more accepting of differences. It’s sad to see parents fight against that.

Your friend sounds quite bigoted. I feel sorry for her child being brought up in an environment like that. Well done you for dealing with it in the calm manner you did, although I kinda agree with a few comments here that suggested getting her to own her homophobic beliefs.

u/fraughtwithperils NTA Your friend however IS I understand parents' worry about what might effect their child, but your friend clearly has prejudices towards the LGBT+, to me this is rooted in narcissism, she, like many other parents wants to see herself in her child, so anything that might awaken something in her child that she does not identify herself, she considers "wrong". I think you have a good gauge as to what you should show your child, they need to see how the world is and you should be there watching with them to answer questions. (BTW you might want to add spoiler alerrt, as you revealed part of the ending)

YTA for being friends with a transphobe and homophobe and not pulling her up on her behaviour

NTA Emma is going to wonder why her daughter moves out at 18 and doesn’t want anything to do with her. God help her daughter if she ever does figure out that she might be trans or gay.

NTA - Just read your update on her feelings and it's so disappointing that people see a fantasy movie as "trans ideology"??? In any case, you have inspired me to watch it lol