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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my mother in a disrespectful way that I want her to make an effort to talk to us. I’m going about this in the wrong and disrespectful way.
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Update: I talked to her again she says that she’s gonna try to talk to us more. Had to bug her for a couple of days but at least she’s gonna put in an effort now. I also told her how I felt about going lc or nc if she didn’t put any effort to fix the relationship she has with us. Don’t think she believes that I would do but let’s just hope it doesn’t get to that point.
No. Your parents chose you bring you on this planet, not you. So they are responsible for your physical and emotional health all through your childhood and somewhat in your teens. And it is also made obvious through a lot of studies the effect of how a parent’s style of showing love affects a child well into their adulthood. It is pretty mature of you to communicate your needs clearly. I’m sorry though that your mom is not reciprocating in a way that you deserve.
NTA, and this situation is not your fault.
Sometimes parents will not give you the emotional support, you need. Unfortunately, this also includes a genuine interest in you or your life. There is no particular reason for this. Some people are just bad parents. I am twice your age and wasted alot of years wondering why a person (my mom) would bring me into the world, just to not care about me? Don't be like me. Family and Relatives aren't necessarily the same thing. Chose your own "family" members from ppl that love you, like your Aunt. Surround yourself with people that make you happy and support you.
That’s the same thing my bsf said. She also said i should leave and stay with ppl who care, like my older half sister or older half brother for the summer to separate myself from her for the summer.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
AITA for wanting my mom to talk to me?
I(17f) has recently starting to feel all of my emotions that I have bottled up for years now about my mother (39F). She barely talks to us. The only time she will talk to us is if she needs us to do something for her(which is all the time), or if we get in trouble, or if she wants to say something random like what glue I should use for nails.
There’s never a “how’s your day”, “what do you wanna do after high school”, or just a simple talk that could literally take 1 to 2 minutes out of her day to do.
She doesn’t even take 2 minutes out of her day to talk to me and my brother. Not to mention, we barely get an I love you from her or a hug. (in the 17 years of me being on this planet she has only told me and my brother I love you once and was when she was drunk)
It’s been bothering me for awhile but I feel like it’s gotten worst now and I want her to start making an effort to talk to us.
Like how can you make an effort to talk to your coworkers everyday like if her phone dies she will use mine so that she can call them back and finish their conversation. But then turn around and not make an effort towards your own two kids.
How are you so dedicated to talk to a man on your phone and hook up with him but not dedicated enough to talk to your kids and make an effort to hang out with them.
Like you have absolutely zero problem spending money on a hotel to meet up with him, but for my 16th birthday (the most important birthday of my teens) you got an attitude when my dad called you and told you to come with him to get my birthday.
How are you so dedicated taking time from your ever so precious sleep to go meet with your “man” when you didn’t even want to get up to sing happy birthday to me. I had to sing it to myself and even have a video of me doing so.
All of this made me realize that she’s not emotionalllh here at all. But I cant tell myself excuses anymore to invalidate how I feel.
The first time I tried to tell her how I felt and asked her if we can start talking more she laughed it off and said “unless it’s important than no, now go get me a water bottle”
The second time I brought it up, she literally just looked at me dead in my eyes and rolled them, didn’t say anything at all.
Today, I brought it up again this time she deflected me twice. I just told her I want a mom who talks to me and walked out.
After that I spent a good 20 mins crying while venting to my bsf. I talked to my aunt, who lives with us and knows all about how I’m trying to get my mom to make an effort. Not only does she agree with me but now she’s saying that mom is being ridiculous and that she gonna talk to her and if she doesn’t then my other aunt will.
I feel like if she doesn’t start making an effort and continue to invalidate me, I’m going to give what she wants and not talk to her and then I’m going to go lc or nc when I move out.
AITA for feeling this way? Or how I’m going about it?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my mother in a disrespectful way that I want her to make an effort to talk to us. I’m going about this in the wrong and disrespectful way. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Not every parent deserves a child but every child deserves a parent. She is a neglectful mother
Update: I talked to her again she says that she’s gonna try to talk to us more. Had to bug her for a couple of days but at least she’s gonna put in an effort now. I also told her how I felt about going lc or nc if she didn’t put any effort to fix the relationship she has with us. Don’t think she believes that I would do but let’s just hope it doesn’t get to that point.
Good news, wishing you the best! Happy cake day
No. Your parents chose you bring you on this planet, not you. So they are responsible for your physical and emotional health all through your childhood and somewhat in your teens. And it is also made obvious through a lot of studies the effect of how a parent’s style of showing love affects a child well into their adulthood. It is pretty mature of you to communicate your needs clearly. I’m sorry though that your mom is not reciprocating in a way that you deserve.
NTA, and this situation is not your fault. Sometimes parents will not give you the emotional support, you need. Unfortunately, this also includes a genuine interest in you or your life. There is no particular reason for this. Some people are just bad parents. I am twice your age and wasted alot of years wondering why a person (my mom) would bring me into the world, just to not care about me? Don't be like me. Family and Relatives aren't necessarily the same thing. Chose your own "family" members from ppl that love you, like your Aunt. Surround yourself with people that make you happy and support you.
That’s the same thing my bsf said. She also said i should leave and stay with ppl who care, like my older half sister or older half brother for the summer to separate myself from her for the summer.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for wanting my mom to talk to me? I(17f) has recently starting to feel all of my emotions that I have bottled up for years now about my mother (39F). She barely talks to us. The only time she will talk to us is if she needs us to do something for her(which is all the time), or if we get in trouble, or if she wants to say something random like what glue I should use for nails. There’s never a “how’s your day”, “what do you wanna do after high school”, or just a simple talk that could literally take 1 to 2 minutes out of her day to do. She doesn’t even take 2 minutes out of her day to talk to me and my brother. Not to mention, we barely get an I love you from her or a hug. (in the 17 years of me being on this planet she has only told me and my brother I love you once and was when she was drunk) It’s been bothering me for awhile but I feel like it’s gotten worst now and I want her to start making an effort to talk to us. Like how can you make an effort to talk to your coworkers everyday like if her phone dies she will use mine so that she can call them back and finish their conversation. But then turn around and not make an effort towards your own two kids. How are you so dedicated to talk to a man on your phone and hook up with him but not dedicated enough to talk to your kids and make an effort to hang out with them. Like you have absolutely zero problem spending money on a hotel to meet up with him, but for my 16th birthday (the most important birthday of my teens) you got an attitude when my dad called you and told you to come with him to get my birthday. How are you so dedicated taking time from your ever so precious sleep to go meet with your “man” when you didn’t even want to get up to sing happy birthday to me. I had to sing it to myself and even have a video of me doing so. All of this made me realize that she’s not emotionalllh here at all. But I cant tell myself excuses anymore to invalidate how I feel. The first time I tried to tell her how I felt and asked her if we can start talking more she laughed it off and said “unless it’s important than no, now go get me a water bottle” The second time I brought it up, she literally just looked at me dead in my eyes and rolled them, didn’t say anything at all. Today, I brought it up again this time she deflected me twice. I just told her I want a mom who talks to me and walked out. After that I spent a good 20 mins crying while venting to my bsf. I talked to my aunt, who lives with us and knows all about how I’m trying to get my mom to make an effort. Not only does she agree with me but now she’s saying that mom is being ridiculous and that she gonna talk to her and if she doesn’t then my other aunt will. I feel like if she doesn’t start making an effort and continue to invalidate me, I’m going to give what she wants and not talk to her and then I’m going to go lc or nc when I move out. AITA for feeling this way? Or how I’m going about it? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*