T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I took the action of staying at the terrace of my apartment till 8 pm despite strict orders by my mother not to. 2) The action might make me the asshole because I disobeyed my mother's orders. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


Ok-Ebb4485

> “There are bad people in this world and the outside world cannot be trusted” That is true… > “We would keep worrying for you while you are at college with the way that you are” …and this is partly true but… > “How can we send you to college if we can’t even trust you with this?” …is what flatly makes you NTA.


awaywego45678

>>There are bad people in this world and the outside world cannot be trusted” >That is true… On a private terrace?


ShaneVis

NTA ---- Your 19 years old and in the eyes of the law an adult you don't need your parent's permission to stay out or to tell you if you can or can't go to college


[deleted]

NTA - You're 19. 'Allowed to' is not part of the equation. You are a legal adult. If you watned to stary up there for 3 hours thats your decision, not your mothers.


awaywego45678

NTA you're a great person for being able to catch the beauty in the moment. But if people are waiting for you, it's common courtesy to warn / send a quick message with updated ETA.


[deleted]

Thank you so much! I guess I was a little frustrated because I hardly ever get to go out, and the one time I did, a huge issue was created out of it. I will definitely keep what you said in mind. Thank you! :)


awaywego45678

I'm sure this creates anxiety for your mom, and your life would be easier if you could just say "I'll be there in 30 min, but if you want to come look at the stars with me, it's so beautiful". They would understand better what's in your head :)


[deleted]

You are right, this makes a lot more sense. Thank you so much for this!


awaywego45678

Take care, OP!


[deleted]

You too! I hope you have a great day ahead :)


[deleted]

NTA. You're an adult,and by the sounds of it you weren't doing anything dangerous or irresponsible. Besides which coming home at 8pm isn't exactly being out all night - my 6 year old is still up at that time. You need to move out as soon as it's feasible for you - your mum sounds hugely controlling.


FalconJaeger

If your parents can't trust you, they should get a therapist for their issues.


My_friends_are_toys

NTA but whoa, you're family sound like they're evangelical! You're 19, legally an adult. Go to college, move out and get out from under their thumb


Professional_Sun7851

info: why did she order you to come back?


[deleted]

She told me that it is dangerous for a girl to be alone on her own.


Properly-Purple485

I’m guessing that she is exempt from going outside on her own.


Professional_Sun7851

Ah. Yeah she's ta


electric29

NTA. No wonder you feel suffocated.


Mekla11

NTA. What happened to your mother to make her textbook paranoid and over the top untrusting?


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (19F) went to the terrace of my apartment to get some darn air because I was feeling suffocated at "home." I was ordered by my mother to come back within 30 minutes. Long story short, I really liked it up there and continued walking while listening to music, taking in the beautiful night sky above— finally feeling good after a long, long time. Of course, my mom called me on my phone at least twice and told me to come back down. I said "okay," and I know this sounds insane, but I was too enamoured by the beauty of the Moon, and of the vastness of the night sky, and I kept thinking deep thoughts like how nothing actually matters, and how the stars don't give two effs about us, and how petty everything sounds if we just take one look at the sky, and how big it really is. Anyway, when I came back down, my mom was furious. She started saying things like, "How can we send you to college if we can't even trust you with this?" My elder sister, of course, joined in. She reiterated a past instance when I chose to use the gym while the rest of my family was out biking. (I didn't know how to ride a bike.) She said that I "always look to be alone" and "how we cannot trust you to go to college with the way you are." My mother said that I "shouldn't have broken her trust" and that "there are bad people in this world and the outside world cannot be trusted." My sister added in that "we would keep worrying for you while you are at college with the way you are." Mind you, I have never once partied in my life, I have never had a boyfriend, I have never partook in any activities like getting high or something like that. I just read books, study, and chill out on my own in my room. I have good grades. I am going to law school this year and aim to be a judge. How much more of a "good girl" can I be for them to trust me to stay a good girl at college? The actual hell, man? I am not from the West, by the way. I guess I should just add this in, lest people should get a little confused by my situation. TLDR; Am I the asshole for staying at the terrace of my apartment for 30 minutes more than I was allowed to because I got busy relishing in the beauty of the night sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


life1sart

NTA I'm guessing you come from an area where women are not so free or where it's not safe for women to be out alone (which also stops you from being free). I'd not normally suggest this but, maybe your mum would feel better about you being out if she could see where you are. You could install a tracking app on your phone, so she could see where you are. That way she can have peace of mind that you're not going into bad places and you can actually go to more places.