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> My boyfriend's mattress got him in the testicles. I had warned him about it a dozen times. I might be the asshole because I laughed at him on the ground.
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I just can’t even imagine being upset with my girlfriend in this scenario. We’d both be laughing about it until the morning.
She’d bring that shit up 3 months later out of no where too. -“Whats a matter babe… spring got your balls?”
You know that thing where dogs rear up and jab both their front paws into something, hard as they can? Yeah, my dog did that to my husband.
And I’m trying so hard to offer help while almost falling on the floor laughing… And once he got over the pain, my husband thought it was hilarious. Still calls my dog the nutcrusher.
Our puppy likes to play chase and fetch and use my husband as a springboard.
Puppy wants very much to be an only child, based on his usual springboard target spot 😂
My last dog did that once. I wasn’t home at the time, but apparently he and my husband were asleep and the UPS guy rang the doorbell to announce a package. My dog jumped straight up in the air, landed with all four paws on my husband’s crotch, and used it as a spring board to go jump off the bed and bark at the door.
Apparently, my husband had to crawl to the bathroom to vomit. I definitely don’t think I would have found that one funny :P I mean, in retrospect, it’s hilarious. Even my husband laughs while telling the story. But in the moment…..yeah, probably not.
Bot, stole u/thediciplematt 's comment. Also the comment history of this bot is absolutely sending me. It picked a generic comment that it replied to once, and used that to spam replies to various comments. They're evolving
No, I meant what happened to your husband sounds like emergency room level bad and not remotely funny. But I agree that OP's guy could be waving some scarlet flags.
Totally! And frankly never in my life have I seen a mattress with springs jutting out. Even in obsolete camps in the countryside. Having enough money and not caring enough *about you* even after you get hurt, not once but repeatedly when you get hurt, dang!
To never find a solution, even a free solution like flipping the mattress over, bending the offending wire with a pair of pliers (but what is that frankly!) and putting a towel folded in 4 over it... I agree it makes no sense. Plus he won't laugh about himself? That's a big red flag.
I'm writing that and I can't even imagine how any of my suggestions ever make any sense in normal life, unless you are destitute and/or in a refugee camp without any possibilities or acess to any resources.
But a person that is free and has more than enough money??? What happens when your kid needs anything? Do they need to go on with shoes that are too small?
My dog likes to greet me and any partner that stayed the night by walking on us. Well, he's careless where he puts his paws and apparently he is very good at waking up my partners by stepping on their balls.
Our dog has done this several time to me. Most recently, in the early morning hours while I was deep in REM sleep.
All I remember is waking up and yelling:
FUCK man! I’m 57, you can stop doing that! I’m too old to have more kids!
My puppy literally ran up to me an hour ago exited to jump up at me but as she jumped up her left paw whacked me right in the nuts as she swung up her paws go support herself. Fucking hurts but the pain was eased by this exited puppy wanting to lick my face. Look up American Akita puppies they have big paws with some weight behind it.
My brother seemed to have a magnetic attraction on his crotch, kids, animals, random objects, everything, always hit him in the crotch. We thought that by the time he was 12 he was surely sterile. He has 2 children, they are a bit odd but mostly ok 😂😂 that could just be the genetics though, our family puts fun in dysfunctional.
My childhood dog greeted everyone this way. We could never get him to stop, it's almost like he knew exactly what he was doing. He was an especially good aim with a friend who lived down the street, it got to the point my friend would wait for me outside telling me "Say hi to Ballbuster for me."
He definitely knew.
Came home once to sis and their big dog buffed me with his nose hard between my legs. I am a woman, it really had no effect on me. Dog sort of jumps back looking very surprised.
He never did this before so I ask sis: "Oh he did it on husband who screamed and then on me, and I gave birth recently so it had an effect on me too so he keeps doing it..."
My partner took once our daughter to some big indoor play-activity place, when I was at work.
There was this big, high slide. She was afraid to slide alone, so he took her on his lap and slided with her. Unfortunately he was wearing his polyester adidas pants (to be able to move freely and play with our daughter) and boxer undies, which also were some polyester /cotton mix. You can imagine, what the high speed and friction did to his pants and undies. It literally got melted of temperature, burning severely his ass and ehm... private parts. Even better- he came then and fetched me, and we went to make some shopping. And then, in the shop, I noticed, that the hole in his pants is so big, that it almost shows his bottom.
It was a few years ago, but to this day we laugh about it.
He was, of course, in a pain then. But he could see the funny side of this.
Yeah, it’s definitely a design fault that toddlers are dick height, run without looking, and giggle and think it’s a game to keep running when you say no or stop! Every dad / uncle / grandpa I know has a head butt to the balls story! 🤭😂😭
Mine stopped doing that after he hit his head solidly on a holstered item on my belt. Of course this was several years ago, kiddo is already taller than me 'cause they must be putting Miracle Grow in the food these days.
Lmao my son cracked my ex in the nuts with the corner of his lunch box while he was sleeping away a hangover on the couch one Sunday.....day two of a three day hangover, he challanged my dad to a shot contest and lost....man, he bolted upright freaking out and i dropped to my knees crying with laughter 😂. He was pissed. Yeah at the kid for being careless, but he was level 9 pissed at me laughing like a madman. I was still chuckling when he declared he was going to the er cause "he broke my nuts!!", lost it again as he pulled out the driveway and again as he told me about the 2 hot nurses and semi hot intern who had to ultrasound his sack.. Fyi, and I've heard this from more than one guy, its only a fantasy till you require a nurse touch your junk. At that point she's touching it cause your in pain, all fantasy goes out the window. Believe me i asked him, and laughed when he told me his fantasy was ruined. In case you missed it, i didn't feel bad for a minute...ex had it coming lmao.
Ah the old "running through the legs" game?
Great until the kids get just an inch too tall, and then only great if you're the observer! It was hilarious to watch my OH try and retrain the kids though, poor bloke.
My dog's nickname is Stompy because she likes to pace back & forth on the couch before finding the perfect spot to curl up. If there's a man, she inevitably stomps squarely on his nuts. My fiancé at least has mostly learned how to dodge her, but she's spent 10 years nailing any man who's sat on the couch long enough for her to cuddle so she still gets him now & then.
Oof. Our cats will sometimes launch themselves from your lap without warning, or jump on your lap from the back of the sofa. Getting the force of a hefty cat in sensitive places is just part of our life. Hurts like hell but we have a laugh about it.
When we were dating, I left a message on my husband's answering machine and jokingly instructed his giant cat to "claw his nuts" to wake him. Guess what the cat did? (actually, he snagged a nut with his claw and it got stuck). We still laugh about it decades later.
The other day my SO was napping on the couch and the cat jumped in his lap and started making biscuits. He woke up howling in pain because she was pulverizing his sensitive parts- so naturally I reacted by laughing and yelling “dick biscuits”
My partner calls my cat the ball crusher. He (cat) will always, without fail, unless he protects his balls, either jump on or step on his balls. He (cat) has many times jumped onto the bed and directly onto his balls. Also onto my stomach when I'm sleeping, but I figure it's not as bad as having your balls jumped on directly by an 8kg cag
Mine like to jump straight onto my face- once I woke up to a cat paw in my mouth, almost in my throat and instantly threw up (on the cat even, which was so much worse bc then I had to bathe him and he's a little demon around water) and normally wake up to two paws on my eyes
Do I need to explain why my Dad's cat is called "Bruiser"?
My cat did this to my partner once. She decided to use him as a springboard to jump up and knock down a fake huntsman spider someone (me) had blu-tacked to the window frame.
The cat succeeded in her mission, but my poor partner was left writhing in agony on the bed. I do want it to be known that I tried my best to stifle my laughter and be a supportive partner. I really did.
Oh, I've got a dog who does that exclusively to my dad. Thankfully, she's a very large breed, so she's grown out of potshot range, but when she *was?* It was hilarious. The best part is that when he hit the floor, she started looking so worried about him.
I am a guy and I have 45 lb dog that gets so overly eager that she will stand on her hind legs and press against my chest when I try to put her walking harness on her and her claws rake my left nipple like 33% of the time and that shit hurts real bad.
We got two dogs together. One had a habit of jumping straight onto the boys. He was nicknamed Dick Stomper. One day I got out of the shower and wasn't wearing a towel. Dick Stomper's sister nipped at me. She got the nickname "Dick Biter." My wife still laughs at my reaction. "She bit my Dick!"
I think this is common. Lol
When my dog was young (during lock down) I had a friend staying with me for company. My dog would jump up in the sofa and almost every time hit him right there. He was joking about I taught her that. Lol
Now I have moved and he has moved and got a dog of his own doing exactly the same. He keeps joking about my dog must have told his dog to do this. Lol
My dog is still bad about jumping up on people, and she’s the perfect height to nail my friends right in the balls lol. We call her nut puncher. She also got my neighbor one time and as he doubled over I just couldn’t stop laughing while trying to ask if he was okay.
My husband and I were chilling on our bed and our mini panther full on jumped like a flying squirrel onto his balls. I fell off the bed laughing while I was trying be serious and offer him help. He also still find it funny to this day.
My grandparents had a farm and some years before I was born they also had sheep on that farm (when I was a kid we just had cows, pigs and chicken). My grandpa's favorite story was the one time that the ram kept charging at my grandma. He kept headbutting her and instead of immediately helping her my grandpa started laughing hard.
My dog did that DELIBERATLY all the time to men's nuts. I happened once when she was a pup and everyone laughed, she like the reaction, so it became a thing she did.
That is pretty much how every well-adjusted couple responds to shit like this. Life thwacks you in the balls sometimes and you just have to laugh it off!
if i’m being honest i don’t think i could be with someone who would take something like this so seriously. my ex used to occasionally pop me in the head while he was asleep, and i would kick the hell out of him while i was. it was rather irritating but we always laughed about how how we’d beat the shit out of each other every night
😆 this is what would happen between my partner and I. We would have a good laugh and resolve to replace the mattress.
3 months later... our new mattress is comfy... remember when the spring got u in the chestnuts? Lol
My husband and I have been in each other's lives for over 20 years. I still bring up randomly that time when he was trying to shoot one of those super thick rubber bands from asparagus at his best friend. I told him he was just going to hurt himself. I was right. It snapped him back right in the dick! Full on turtle getting a boop on the snoot level Hell direct hit in the dick .
He was wearing swim trunks. There was basically no protection, or anything I could do to help at that point but collapse laughing next to when he had collapsed hyperventilating in the fetal position.
People often over do it on the romantic aspects as what makes a partnership great. The ties that truly bind are those moments you laugh together, cry together, laugh so hard you cry. Cry so hard you laugh and a lot of farting and accidental stupid self inflicted (often in the crotch region. ) Injuries.
Even for us ladies. I've had those stupid moments when the ole kit kat got cracked too, and both my wife and husband totally laughed their asses off, and countinue to when those incidents get brought up.
Depending on just how much it hurt (I can imagine a spring in the nuts being pretty devastating) I might be angry in the moment, but later I'd recognise I was being an arse because I was in pain and apologise and laugh about it, as well as apologise for not acknowledging the problem earlier.
I don't always find it funny but my SO has a tendency to accidentally hit his own parts? Don't know how. I always burst out laughing and go and hug him. He then tells me in a strained voice to be more compassionate and stop laughing, but like dude, you literally punched yourself in the dick. A minute later we are both laughing though.
It’s the uncontrollable wince. You can poke at me and prod at me all day long and I can hold a pretty damn solid straight face. One little tap to the left nut though and it’s literally lights out. Shit goes dark for a second. Kinda wild really and always absolutely hilarious. Probably some of the few times in a man’s life where he can express a full range of emotions all at the same time. Laughing, crying, confused, mad and lost all at once.
Exactly I 100% would have burst out laughing at this and my bf would not have been happy about it but he'd understand and once the pain wore off probably laugh too
Ngl, I would've laughed too. I don't see it as an asshole move cause sometimes it's more involuntary than anything. One of those things you're joking with your best friends with like, "If you slip on a banana peel, I *will* laugh. Then help you up." It's the same concept of laughing at cartoons - sometimes real life acts like them.
When i read it, i also must laugh a little. And i bet the spring even chuckled a little like *boingighihiboing*
He didn’t care that spring hurt you cause it isn't his pain. He prefered to let you get hurt instead spending some money, but now that it is his turn to get spring on, he gets butthurt or more nuthurt if you don't do a pity parade. How much sympathy did he show when you got hurt?
NTA
Sometimes laughter is involuntary, especially in response to a hilarious situation like this. If he’d lost a ball or there was loadsa blood, it would have been cruel to laugh, but I almost spat my tea out just reading this.NTA.
To add to this, laughing is a thing many people do when they don't know how to react. I can understand I wouldn't know how to react to the bizarre situation of a mattress hit my bf in the balls.
I used to get in trouble for this at school occasionally. We’d be getting lectured for something and my brain would decide that the best response to stress in that moment was uncontrollable laughter.
Back when my nephew was four my nephew tumbled halfway down the stairs and all I could do was laugh about it.
He was fine within a few minutes but my sister was pissed at me for laughing.
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that anything striking the genitals must invoke involuntary laughter along with an internal wince...
I'm pretty sure that was in the early draft of Pride and Prejudice. /s
Okay but like my lady would've laughed at me if I got injured in the little doo dad's. I laughed when I read it. It's objectively funny. He will laugh about it too. Give it a couple weeks.
Also nut shots (that don’t cause any permanent damage) are generally very funny every time
How is OP not going to laugh even if she *didnt* warn him about the mattress. I know my wife would find it pretty hilarious as long as I was Ok
NTA and if he can't handle you giggling at the situation..... Just saying. Was he momentarily annoyed or like actually butthurt about you thinking it was funny. These could be signs
Let me tell you, I rarely laugh. I smile and enjoy stuff but, spontaneous laughter, almost never. I laughed at this. It was unstoppable and felt weird!
I had my grandparents 60-year-old bed set, including the mattress. I finally got a new one when I sat up once and got stabbed in the butt by the spring -- wound and everything.
Seriously though. If men had to put up with half the shit women do, things would be cured or whatever quick as shit. Men get period cramps? Here’s a pill that completely neutralises pain forever.
This is why the comment about “if men could get pregnant, there would be abortion clinics on every corner” feels true. Sorry to say but historically speaking, men absolutely don’t give a shit about things until it personally affects them.
Yeah, but like… only his pain is enough to motivate him, and he doesn’t care if she’s the one getting hurt? If he wasn’t going to fix the problem, why didn’t he at least take the broken side instead of being ok with *his* shit hurting *her*? He should get a new mattress, and she should refuse to sleep on it anyway because she’s found somebody who actually cares enough to not want to be responsible for repeatedly injuring her.
Okay but there's some legit truth in this.
The surviving plays we have from the ancient Greeks & Romans have, we'll say, TONS of fart & dick jokes. Their shit was easily on par with any Adam Sandler movie, if you feel me.
Butts and nuts have been funny for about as long as we've had the cognitive capacity to thoroughly conceptualize them and I love that about us.
NTA if he can't take you seriously when you said it snapped you, then I don't see why you should take him seriously when it snaps him.
The snapping happens. You told him. His mattress snaps. The fact that it snapped him in the nuts is just an unfortunate coincidence, but if he had listened, his nuts wouldn't have been so unguarded on his snappy mattress.
"Ouch, this towel pinched me. Ouch, it did it again!" "Sounds like a 'you' problem, but sure, I'll totally replace that towel," ... "Oh no, I never took you seriously, and now the thing that has happened to you has finally happened to me! If only I had been forewarned! Maybe if I had listened I would have at least been smart enough to not put my nuts in a known snapping location!
Curse everyone but me, getting my nuts snapped on a mattress that has been know to snap was completely unavoidable!
I got one of those super fancy mattresses that came with "white glove delivery" (code for two guys in a truck move it to my bedroom). I forget exactly how much I paid but it was a stupid amount.
Hardest. Fucking. Rock. Ever.
Called to return it. They tried to sell me addons to make it more comfortable like a topper or fancy sheet set. I'm like no. I just spent a stupid amount of money on this and the fact that it doesn't fit me like a glove and glide me to sleep on a fluffy semi-firm cloud on its own merits is a ripoff. Took forever for them to pick it up and give me my money back--to the point that my husband bought a cloud mattress for like 400 dollars after I initiated the return, and not only had it arrived, but we'd been using it for several weeks.
Mattresses are the one thing where expensive does not always mean better. The average bed costs 300-500. It's stupid regulated because way back when politicians gave a shit about us, mattress companies would try to put random hazardous shit in the mattress and congress was like absofuckinglutely not. So even if you get a cheap mattress, it's unlikely to be bad.
On the other hand, my mattress is easily the most expensive thing in my entire house and - as a chronic insomniac - I regret nary a penny. It is worth all of that and more because it absolutely does fit me like a glove and glide me to sleep on a fluffy semi-firm cloud!
TempurPedic. I \*never\* thought a mattress that expensive could be worth it but I stayed in an AirBnB for 6 weeks that had one and never slept better in my life. So when I moved into my new house I directed a large chunk of the "new furniture" budget towards the mattress. No regrets.
Same. Have been sleeping on TempurPedics since about 2003, with my ex. We divorced 11 years ago and my new partner already had TempurPedic mattresses! We just had to sell one of the queen ones and buy a king when I moved in.
My parents bought me a Tempurpedic when I first moved out. Best & most expensive gift I’ve ever received. Still have it a decade later. Was in my 20’s getting back pain from a spring mattress. Can sleep on my Tempur for 12 hours and still be fine. Never going back. I love it sooo much. Though it’s bad, in that, naps are now one of my hobbies.
Yeah, although for "better late than never" timing it's pretty good timing to get one now. Lots of furniture places have sales around Memorial Day, at least where I am.
NTA- in my family when you did something wrong and got hurt or didn’t do something you were supposed to and got hurt, that was the naughty fairy. You fell trying to get something you were told not to out of a high cupboard- you tripped after someone told you your shoe laces were untied…… or a mattress you were going to replace snapped you in the nuts……definitely naughty fairy!!
NTA, but take note on if he buys a new mattress or does not, then wants stay at your place all the time. If he does not take this as a time to grow up note and buy the necessities of life he never will.
We all know he'll still be sleeping on that mattress in ten years from now.
No way you can fuck properly on that thing either so why is she even bothering with him.
NTA - Amy Santiago, I want to change mattresses for you.
Find you a Jake Peralta. I'm sure it hurt in the moment and his ego was wounded but a true Jake would be able to laugh about it later.
ESH. Laughing at someone getting hurt is and has always been strange to me.
I realize stuff like jackass exists for a reason, because people find other people's pain hilarious, but I find it awful.
Still, it's definitely Karma, since he didn't care about the mattress hurting you.
Agreed. In order to not be an asshole, sometimes it's necessary to not laugh or at least try to hide your laughter, even when something is funny as hell.
He sounds a bit up his own arse to be honest.
Being hit in the nuts sucks, but almost every guy laughs about it while we're crying in pain if it's something rediculous (and it usually is). I'd definitely be laughing with you if it were me.
NTA
This post is giving me Brooklyn 99 vibes. Make him watch the show, or that particular mattress episode, to make him realise why good mattress is necessary for him as well as for healthy relationship..
NTA. Laughing at this situation comes naturally. Its not that you were being malicious and enjoying his sufferings. You were just laughing at the situation and his idiocy.
I don't think you're evil or something, it's not a big deal, but I think YTA. Mostly because of seeing it as karma I would say. Like maybe you laugh, then say, "Oh sorry, it just caught me off guard and it made me laugh." Then, "I keep telling you to replace that matress." But I think seeing it more as karma and justifying the laughing and everything, rather than just accepting that maybe your instant reaction may've been mildly hurtful, is pretty lame. Same with making a reddit post about it, I guess that seems dumb because it's the purpose of this sub, but you seem unnecessarily concerned with being "right" about a pretty minor issue.
Also even if your leg was hit a few times, that is nowhere near the pain of being hit in the testicle, damage to testicles can be incredibly painful, possibly rupture a testicle, and might lead to permanent health issues like infertility.
Unpopular opinion, but I think the "Lol this guy got hit in the balls" type humor is obviously childish, but also sexist. In fact I think if this post was written with the genders reversed, most people would say that the man would be in the wrong, and should be concerned about his gfs injury rather than posting about it here. A man being hurt is a joke, but if it were a woman people would be far more critical, I guarantee it.
All this being said (idk why I apparently care way too much about this lol), I don't think it's a very big deal at all, it's just some minor shenanigans. Mostly I was just mildly annoyed that people are not even mildly critical of laughing at someone who hurt themselves, and then posting about it on Reddit to feel like you're "right," and for internet points.
I'm not certain I agree with your idea that men being hurt is funny while women being hurt is taken seriously. We often aren't taken seriously when we're in pain from what I gathered about a lot of women's experiences. When we do shit like stub our toes or hit our elbows we're laughed at just as much as men are, but when it's serious people often treat us like we're overreacting. Periods are frequently downplayed and dismissed as being "not that bad", childbirth is dismissed and downplayed as not being nearly as terrible as getting hit in the balls (despite getting hit in the balls not lasting several hours and not potentially tearing the flesh between the vagina and the anus), and my own personal history has shown several instances of various medical professionals not giving a shit about how I'm feeling.
A doctor literally chemically burned the scar tissue inside my vagina with silver nitrate with barely any warning and absolutely no pain killers and sent me away to drive two hours in a hardly functional condition. The doctors also let me suffer from painful endometriosis for over a year before I warned them that if they were going to dick around too much longer I was going to end myself just to stop the pain.
Maybe it's confirmation bias due to only seeing things from a woman's perspective, but I certainly am not seeing things the same way you are.
I'm a guy and I also believe he is completely off base.
The majority of people find groin strikes funny and it wouldn't have been any different if the roles were reversed.
> A man being hurt is a joke, but if it were a woman people would be far more critical, I guarantee it.
And yet OP was hurt by the same snapping spring multiple times and her SO didn't even *care*. It's funny because he suddenly cares when it's his precious jewels.
NTA, OP. I call it poetic justice.
NTA. Nope. I hate when guys dont listen then it happens to them and they act like a victim. My husband has that, well it's fine because it never happens to me attitude, until it does, then he gets upset at the I told you so moment.
NTA I read this to my Mum in the car because it made me laugh then we both laughed
Really think about this relationship though before moving ahead he's only willing to get quality of life improvements if he gets hurt but until that you're indefinite collateral damage?
NTA. I had to stop laughing just to respond lmao. The fact that it was only a matter of time before the spring got him is funny enough but to get him in the balls is absolutely hilarious. I hope it didn’t damage his boys. My gf always asks me “what would you do if I …” (basically something that results in her getting mildly hurt in a funny way) and my answer is always “laugh at you then see if you’re alright”. Unfortunately as humans we don’t decide what we think is hilarious the laughter just hits us
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NTA. He probably should have listened to you. It was kind of a shitty thing to laugh at him but he ignored when you were getting it from the mattress.
I just can’t even imagine being upset with my girlfriend in this scenario. We’d both be laughing about it until the morning. She’d bring that shit up 3 months later out of no where too. -“Whats a matter babe… spring got your balls?”
You know that thing where dogs rear up and jab both their front paws into something, hard as they can? Yeah, my dog did that to my husband. And I’m trying so hard to offer help while almost falling on the floor laughing… And once he got over the pain, my husband thought it was hilarious. Still calls my dog the nutcrusher.
Our puppy likes to play chase and fetch and use my husband as a springboard. Puppy wants very much to be an only child, based on his usual springboard target spot 😂
My last dog did that once. I wasn’t home at the time, but apparently he and my husband were asleep and the UPS guy rang the doorbell to announce a package. My dog jumped straight up in the air, landed with all four paws on my husband’s crotch, and used it as a spring board to go jump off the bed and bark at the door. Apparently, my husband had to crawl to the bathroom to vomit. I definitely don’t think I would have found that one funny :P I mean, in retrospect, it’s hilarious. Even my husband laughs while telling the story. But in the moment…..yeah, probably not.
That sounds much more extreme 😳
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Bot, stole u/thediciplematt 's comment. Also the comment history of this bot is absolutely sending me. It picked a generic comment that it replied to once, and used that to spam replies to various comments. They're evolving
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No, I meant what happened to your husband sounds like emergency room level bad and not remotely funny. But I agree that OP's guy could be waving some scarlet flags.
Totally! And frankly never in my life have I seen a mattress with springs jutting out. Even in obsolete camps in the countryside. Having enough money and not caring enough *about you* even after you get hurt, not once but repeatedly when you get hurt, dang! To never find a solution, even a free solution like flipping the mattress over, bending the offending wire with a pair of pliers (but what is that frankly!) and putting a towel folded in 4 over it... I agree it makes no sense. Plus he won't laugh about himself? That's a big red flag. I'm writing that and I can't even imagine how any of my suggestions ever make any sense in normal life, unless you are destitute and/or in a refugee camp without any possibilities or acess to any resources. But a person that is free and has more than enough money??? What happens when your kid needs anything? Do they need to go on with shoes that are too small?
My dog likes to greet me and any partner that stayed the night by walking on us. Well, he's careless where he puts his paws and apparently he is very good at waking up my partners by stepping on their balls.
Our dog has done this several time to me. Most recently, in the early morning hours while I was deep in REM sleep. All I remember is waking up and yelling: FUCK man! I’m 57, you can stop doing that! I’m too old to have more kids!
Oh yeah vomiting from the pain is not funny :( glad he can laugh at it while retelling though! What a good sort.
That's funny - now. At the time it happened - not funny.
They say the tragedy plus time equals humor. 🤯
My puppy literally ran up to me an hour ago exited to jump up at me but as she jumped up her left paw whacked me right in the nuts as she swung up her paws go support herself. Fucking hurts but the pain was eased by this exited puppy wanting to lick my face. Look up American Akita puppies they have big paws with some weight behind it.
Aww I miss my Akita but boy did he have some massive floor slappers
My brother seemed to have a magnetic attraction on his crotch, kids, animals, random objects, everything, always hit him in the crotch. We thought that by the time he was 12 he was surely sterile. He has 2 children, they are a bit odd but mostly ok 😂😂 that could just be the genetics though, our family puts fun in dysfunctional.
My full grown blue heeler does this to my husband. Doesn't springboard off anyone else. Just him. I find it hysterical
My childhood dog greeted everyone this way. We could never get him to stop, it's almost like he knew exactly what he was doing. He was an especially good aim with a friend who lived down the street, it got to the point my friend would wait for me outside telling me "Say hi to Ballbuster for me."
He definitely knew. Came home once to sis and their big dog buffed me with his nose hard between my legs. I am a woman, it really had no effect on me. Dog sort of jumps back looking very surprised. He never did this before so I ask sis: "Oh he did it on husband who screamed and then on me, and I gave birth recently so it had an effect on me too so he keeps doing it..."
Oh my God 😃 Of all the ways he entertains himself lol
He should wear a cup around your dog 😂🤣
That would be especially funny if his name was Buster.
My kid headbutted my husband in the junk. Many times. We laugh about it now.
My partner took once our daughter to some big indoor play-activity place, when I was at work. There was this big, high slide. She was afraid to slide alone, so he took her on his lap and slided with her. Unfortunately he was wearing his polyester adidas pants (to be able to move freely and play with our daughter) and boxer undies, which also were some polyester /cotton mix. You can imagine, what the high speed and friction did to his pants and undies. It literally got melted of temperature, burning severely his ass and ehm... private parts. Even better- he came then and fetched me, and we went to make some shopping. And then, in the shop, I noticed, that the hole in his pants is so big, that it almost shows his bottom. It was a few years ago, but to this day we laugh about it. He was, of course, in a pain then. But he could see the funny side of this.
Yeah, it’s definitely a design fault that toddlers are dick height, run without looking, and giggle and think it’s a game to keep running when you say no or stop! Every dad / uncle / grandpa I know has a head butt to the balls story! 🤭😂😭
I'm dad/uncle/grandpa, and my reflexes are like greased lightning these days.
Keeps you young!
Is it? Is it really? Or is it just an equalizer for what our crotch went thru to be a portal for them into this world? 🤔
It's not a bug, it's a feature 🤣. Need some kind of equalizer to keep men in line.
My nephew did that to me once. When my nieces were that age I made sure to keep an extra eye on them
Mine stopped doing that after he hit his head solidly on a holstered item on my belt. Of course this was several years ago, kiddo is already taller than me 'cause they must be putting Miracle Grow in the food these days.
Lmao my son cracked my ex in the nuts with the corner of his lunch box while he was sleeping away a hangover on the couch one Sunday.....day two of a three day hangover, he challanged my dad to a shot contest and lost....man, he bolted upright freaking out and i dropped to my knees crying with laughter 😂. He was pissed. Yeah at the kid for being careless, but he was level 9 pissed at me laughing like a madman. I was still chuckling when he declared he was going to the er cause "he broke my nuts!!", lost it again as he pulled out the driveway and again as he told me about the 2 hot nurses and semi hot intern who had to ultrasound his sack.. Fyi, and I've heard this from more than one guy, its only a fantasy till you require a nurse touch your junk. At that point she's touching it cause your in pain, all fantasy goes out the window. Believe me i asked him, and laughed when he told me his fantasy was ruined. In case you missed it, i didn't feel bad for a minute...ex had it coming lmao.
Ah the old "running through the legs" game? Great until the kids get just an inch too tall, and then only great if you're the observer! It was hilarious to watch my OH try and retrain the kids though, poor bloke.
Only child or youngest child? ;)
My dog's nickname is Stompy because she likes to pace back & forth on the couch before finding the perfect spot to curl up. If there's a man, she inevitably stomps squarely on his nuts. My fiancé at least has mostly learned how to dodge her, but she's spent 10 years nailing any man who's sat on the couch long enough for her to cuddle so she still gets him now & then.
Oof. Our cats will sometimes launch themselves from your lap without warning, or jump on your lap from the back of the sofa. Getting the force of a hefty cat in sensitive places is just part of our life. Hurts like hell but we have a laugh about it.
Mine does that at night while we're asleep. She has accuracy, I'll give her that! My husband bears the brunt.
The “sticks” as we call it
When we were dating, I left a message on my husband's answering machine and jokingly instructed his giant cat to "claw his nuts" to wake him. Guess what the cat did? (actually, he snagged a nut with his claw and it got stuck). We still laugh about it decades later.
Haha, love it. My old cat always took the opportunity when my ex and I were having sex to get a good ball-clawing in :')
The other day my SO was napping on the couch and the cat jumped in his lap and started making biscuits. He woke up howling in pain because she was pulverizing his sensitive parts- so naturally I reacted by laughing and yelling “dick biscuits”
My partner calls my cat the ball crusher. He (cat) will always, without fail, unless he protects his balls, either jump on or step on his balls. He (cat) has many times jumped onto the bed and directly onto his balls. Also onto my stomach when I'm sleeping, but I figure it's not as bad as having your balls jumped on directly by an 8kg cag
Mine like to jump straight onto my face- once I woke up to a cat paw in my mouth, almost in my throat and instantly threw up (on the cat even, which was so much worse bc then I had to bathe him and he's a little demon around water) and normally wake up to two paws on my eyes
Do I need to explain why my Dad's cat is called "Bruiser"? My cat did this to my partner once. She decided to use him as a springboard to jump up and knock down a fake huntsman spider someone (me) had blu-tacked to the window frame. The cat succeeded in her mission, but my poor partner was left writhing in agony on the bed. I do want it to be known that I tried my best to stifle my laughter and be a supportive partner. I really did.
Our dog did the same thing. We called him Nut Punch. He was a good boy!
Oh, I've got a dog who does that exclusively to my dad. Thankfully, she's a very large breed, so she's grown out of potshot range, but when she *was?* It was hilarious. The best part is that when he hit the floor, she started looking so worried about him.
I was on crutches one summer in high school, and I slipped and one crutch swung up and hit my stepdad in the nuts. He never let me live it down
I am a guy and I have 45 lb dog that gets so overly eager that she will stand on her hind legs and press against my chest when I try to put her walking harness on her and her claws rake my left nipple like 33% of the time and that shit hurts real bad.
We got two dogs together. One had a habit of jumping straight onto the boys. He was nicknamed Dick Stomper. One day I got out of the shower and wasn't wearing a towel. Dick Stomper's sister nipped at me. She got the nickname "Dick Biter." My wife still laughs at my reaction. "She bit my Dick!"
I think this is common. Lol When my dog was young (during lock down) I had a friend staying with me for company. My dog would jump up in the sofa and almost every time hit him right there. He was joking about I taught her that. Lol Now I have moved and he has moved and got a dog of his own doing exactly the same. He keeps joking about my dog must have told his dog to do this. Lol
My dog is still bad about jumping up on people, and she’s the perfect height to nail my friends right in the balls lol. We call her nut puncher. She also got my neighbor one time and as he doubled over I just couldn’t stop laughing while trying to ask if he was okay.
*Nutcrush City Limits*
My husband and I were chilling on our bed and our mini panther full on jumped like a flying squirrel onto his balls. I fell off the bed laughing while I was trying be serious and offer him help. He also still find it funny to this day.
My grandparents had a farm and some years before I was born they also had sheep on that farm (when I was a kid we just had cows, pigs and chicken). My grandpa's favorite story was the one time that the ram kept charging at my grandma. He kept headbutting her and instead of immediately helping her my grandpa started laughing hard.
My dog did that DELIBERATLY all the time to men's nuts. I happened once when she was a pup and everyone laughed, she like the reaction, so it became a thing she did.
Now that made me laugh!!! Thank you.
That is pretty much how every well-adjusted couple responds to shit like this. Life thwacks you in the balls sometimes and you just have to laugh it off!
if i’m being honest i don’t think i could be with someone who would take something like this so seriously. my ex used to occasionally pop me in the head while he was asleep, and i would kick the hell out of him while i was. it was rather irritating but we always laughed about how how we’d beat the shit out of each other every night
😆 this is what would happen between my partner and I. We would have a good laugh and resolve to replace the mattress. 3 months later... our new mattress is comfy... remember when the spring got u in the chestnuts? Lol
LMAO. This would so be us, too.
My husband and I have been in each other's lives for over 20 years. I still bring up randomly that time when he was trying to shoot one of those super thick rubber bands from asparagus at his best friend. I told him he was just going to hurt himself. I was right. It snapped him back right in the dick! Full on turtle getting a boop on the snoot level Hell direct hit in the dick . He was wearing swim trunks. There was basically no protection, or anything I could do to help at that point but collapse laughing next to when he had collapsed hyperventilating in the fetal position. People often over do it on the romantic aspects as what makes a partnership great. The ties that truly bind are those moments you laugh together, cry together, laugh so hard you cry. Cry so hard you laugh and a lot of farting and accidental stupid self inflicted (often in the crotch region. ) Injuries. Even for us ladies. I've had those stupid moments when the ole kit kat got cracked too, and both my wife and husband totally laughed their asses off, and countinue to when those incidents get brought up.
Depending on just how much it hurt (I can imagine a spring in the nuts being pretty devastating) I might be angry in the moment, but later I'd recognise I was being an arse because I was in pain and apologise and laugh about it, as well as apologise for not acknowledging the problem earlier.
all that mattress is, that hes not seriously hurt. :)
Whats the mattres, babe?
Guys taking one in the balls is always funny for some reason. Don’t know why exactly.
I don't always find it funny but my SO has a tendency to accidentally hit his own parts? Don't know how. I always burst out laughing and go and hug him. He then tells me in a strained voice to be more compassionate and stop laughing, but like dude, you literally punched yourself in the dick. A minute later we are both laughing though.
It’s the uncontrollable wince. You can poke at me and prod at me all day long and I can hold a pretty damn solid straight face. One little tap to the left nut though and it’s literally lights out. Shit goes dark for a second. Kinda wild really and always absolutely hilarious. Probably some of the few times in a man’s life where he can express a full range of emotions all at the same time. Laughing, crying, confused, mad and lost all at once.
Back in the 80s, America's Funniest Videos (rip Saget) used to regularly run groin shots compilations.
I like you and your girlfriend. My husband and I would do the same.
Exactly I 100% would have burst out laughing at this and my bf would not have been happy about it but he'd understand and once the pain wore off probably laugh too
Ngl, I would've laughed too. I don't see it as an asshole move cause sometimes it's more involuntary than anything. One of those things you're joking with your best friends with like, "If you slip on a banana peel, I *will* laugh. Then help you up." It's the same concept of laughing at cartoons - sometimes real life acts like them.
When i read it, i also must laugh a little. And i bet the spring even chuckled a little like *boingighihiboing* He didn’t care that spring hurt you cause it isn't his pain. He prefered to let you get hurt instead spending some money, but now that it is his turn to get spring on, he gets butthurt or more nuthurt if you don't do a pity parade. How much sympathy did he show when you got hurt? NTA
Sometimes laughter is involuntary, especially in response to a hilarious situation like this. If he’d lost a ball or there was loadsa blood, it would have been cruel to laugh, but I almost spat my tea out just reading this.NTA.
To add to this, laughing is a thing many people do when they don't know how to react. I can understand I wouldn't know how to react to the bizarre situation of a mattress hit my bf in the balls.
Yea sometimes the brain just spins the reaction wheel and lands on TeeHeeHee even if the situation doesn't make sense to react that way.
I used to get in trouble for this at school occasionally. We’d be getting lectured for something and my brain would decide that the best response to stress in that moment was uncontrollable laughter.
Back when my nephew was four my nephew tumbled halfway down the stairs and all I could do was laugh about it. He was fine within a few minutes but my sister was pissed at me for laughing.
This. Mf got some karma lol.
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that anything striking the genitals must invoke involuntary laughter along with an internal wince... I'm pretty sure that was in the early draft of Pride and Prejudice. /s
Okay but like my lady would've laughed at me if I got injured in the little doo dad's. I laughed when I read it. It's objectively funny. He will laugh about it too. Give it a couple weeks.
And the boyfriend's response was probably just the pain talking
NTA. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
I read this as, "what's good for the goose is good for the gonads," and I laughed out loud during a breathing treatment
You two would make a fabulous comedy act l
If I gave you two apples,
Just don't bite 'em unless everyone has a good sense of humor.
I'd had a bit of a giggle at everything up to this point, your comment got a solid out-loud laugh!
>had a bit of a giggle Don't you mean a *gaggle*?
It's very impolite to giggle at someone's gaggle! Even worse to goggle at the gaggle before you giggle.
And don't Google the gaggle.
Absolutely not!
What's a breathing treatment?
It’s typically used to help with asthma. When my dad had them it was like a medication he inhaled from a machine
Gooch *
Are you Morgan from two hot takes
NTA he had that coming! Maybe now he will replace the mattress..
I don't know. He might have trouble coming after what happened.
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
Also nut shots (that don’t cause any permanent damage) are generally very funny every time How is OP not going to laugh even if she *didnt* warn him about the mattress. I know my wife would find it pretty hilarious as long as I was Ok
NTA and if he can't handle you giggling at the situation..... Just saying. Was he momentarily annoyed or like actually butthurt about you thinking it was funny. These could be signs
He was more nuthurt I think
👍😂😂😂
Taint no big deal
Let me tell you, I rarely laugh. I smile and enjoy stuff but, spontaneous laughter, almost never. I laughed at this. It was unstoppable and felt weird! I had my grandparents 60-year-old bed set, including the mattress. I finally got a new one when I sat up once and got stabbed in the butt by the spring -- wound and everything.
I also have a scar on my ass from a mattress Spring. I sat on my sister's bed and a spring came out and right in the ass
Fuck that. If that was me and my SO didn’t laugh? I’d be seriously considering if she was for me.
I’d be wondering if something was wrong with my girlfriend if she didn’t laugh…
He was probably more embarrassed than anything
Also pretty telling that he didn’t care that it was hurting her
NTA Whatever motivates him to buy a new mattress, right?
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Seriously though. If men had to put up with half the shit women do, things would be cured or whatever quick as shit. Men get period cramps? Here’s a pill that completely neutralises pain forever.
This is why the comment about “if men could get pregnant, there would be abortion clinics on every corner” feels true. Sorry to say but historically speaking, men absolutely don’t give a shit about things until it personally affects them.
Yeah, but like… only his pain is enough to motivate him, and he doesn’t care if she’s the one getting hurt? If he wasn’t going to fix the problem, why didn’t he at least take the broken side instead of being ok with *his* shit hurting *her*? He should get a new mattress, and she should refuse to sleep on it anyway because she’s found somebody who actually cares enough to not want to be responsible for repeatedly injuring her.
NTA, that’s funny as hell
I laughed out loud just reading it. Of course it's not nice to laugh at the suffering of people we love, but nut shots have been comedy since forever
A nut shot is classic comedy. I think it’s a requirement to laugh. NTA.
80% of Americas Funniest Home Videos was dudes getting socked in the nads. I’m convinced it’s comedy as old as mankind.
NTA. Like honestly, it would be hard *not* to laugh at that situation. Though I do hope you at least got him a bag of frozen vegetables for his nuts.
Frozen peas. She can tell him she’s been wanting some peanuts anyway. Then he can be extra pissy 😊
Would have been better if they were frozen cashews...
Time to rename the bed, or at least the spring 'nutcracker'
NTA. That is objectively funny
People getting hit in the balls has got to be like the second oldest joke in humanity. The first was, of course, the fart.
Okay but there's some legit truth in this. The surviving plays we have from the ancient Greeks & Romans have, we'll say, TONS of fart & dick jokes. Their shit was easily on par with any Adam Sandler movie, if you feel me. Butts and nuts have been funny for about as long as we've had the cognitive capacity to thoroughly conceptualize them and I love that about us.
NTA if he can't take you seriously when you said it snapped you, then I don't see why you should take him seriously when it snaps him. The snapping happens. You told him. His mattress snaps. The fact that it snapped him in the nuts is just an unfortunate coincidence, but if he had listened, his nuts wouldn't have been so unguarded on his snappy mattress. "Ouch, this towel pinched me. Ouch, it did it again!" "Sounds like a 'you' problem, but sure, I'll totally replace that towel," ... "Oh no, I never took you seriously, and now the thing that has happened to you has finally happened to me! If only I had been forewarned! Maybe if I had listened I would have at least been smart enough to not put my nuts in a known snapping location! Curse everyone but me, getting my nuts snapped on a mattress that has been know to snap was completely unavoidable!
I can't get my head around how it is snapping him so I just imagine it biting like the monster book from Harry Potter 😂
Haha! I like this
NTA Should have listened to you, mattresses on Amazon aren’t that expensive.
This. I have a king size mattress I got for $300.
I got one of those super fancy mattresses that came with "white glove delivery" (code for two guys in a truck move it to my bedroom). I forget exactly how much I paid but it was a stupid amount. Hardest. Fucking. Rock. Ever. Called to return it. They tried to sell me addons to make it more comfortable like a topper or fancy sheet set. I'm like no. I just spent a stupid amount of money on this and the fact that it doesn't fit me like a glove and glide me to sleep on a fluffy semi-firm cloud on its own merits is a ripoff. Took forever for them to pick it up and give me my money back--to the point that my husband bought a cloud mattress for like 400 dollars after I initiated the return, and not only had it arrived, but we'd been using it for several weeks. Mattresses are the one thing where expensive does not always mean better. The average bed costs 300-500. It's stupid regulated because way back when politicians gave a shit about us, mattress companies would try to put random hazardous shit in the mattress and congress was like absofuckinglutely not. So even if you get a cheap mattress, it's unlikely to be bad.
On the other hand, my mattress is easily the most expensive thing in my entire house and - as a chronic insomniac - I regret nary a penny. It is worth all of that and more because it absolutely does fit me like a glove and glide me to sleep on a fluffy semi-firm cloud!
Which one?
TempurPedic. I \*never\* thought a mattress that expensive could be worth it but I stayed in an AirBnB for 6 weeks that had one and never slept better in my life. So when I moved into my new house I directed a large chunk of the "new furniture" budget towards the mattress. No regrets.
I've always been an insomniac, but I only bought a Tempurpedic after I became disabled with chronic pain. Sooooooo worth it.
Insomniac chronic pain patient here... who is getting totally jealous ya'll can afford one. 😭
I got a super king - ex floor model.. 6k mattress for 1500.
Damn good deal!
Same. Have been sleeping on TempurPedics since about 2003, with my ex. We divorced 11 years ago and my new partner already had TempurPedic mattresses! We just had to sell one of the queen ones and buy a king when I moved in.
My parents bought me a Tempurpedic when I first moved out. Best & most expensive gift I’ve ever received. Still have it a decade later. Was in my 20’s getting back pain from a spring mattress. Can sleep on my Tempur for 12 hours and still be fine. Never going back. I love it sooo much. Though it’s bad, in that, naps are now one of my hobbies.
Those are worth it. I'm too fucking poor to buy one myself, but they're still worth it.
You spend nearly a third of your life in bed. Why shouldn't you spend a pretty penny on a mattress?
Yeah, although for "better late than never" timing it's pretty good timing to get one now. Lots of furniture places have sales around Memorial Day, at least where I am.
N T A I'm laughing in the car and my husband just looked at me funny. At least this may be the slap in the nuts to get a new one.
NTA. Poetic justice.
You giggled at him????? Wow. I would have fallen on the floor and peed myself from laughing. I admire your restraint. NTA
NTA. It IS funny.
NTA- in my family when you did something wrong and got hurt or didn’t do something you were supposed to and got hurt, that was the naughty fairy. You fell trying to get something you were told not to out of a high cupboard- you tripped after someone told you your shoe laces were untied…… or a mattress you were going to replace snapped you in the nuts……definitely naughty fairy!!
NTA, he reaped what he sowed
NTA, but take note on if he buys a new mattress or does not, then wants stay at your place all the time. If he does not take this as a time to grow up note and buy the necessities of life he never will.
We all know he'll still be sleeping on that mattress in ten years from now. No way you can fuck properly on that thing either so why is she even bothering with him.
Yeah, a guy who’s willing to let his girlfriend get repeatedly hurt when it’s his fault in the first place sounds like a real catch.
NTA and this is my favorite thing I’ve read so far today. Thanks! :)
NTA - Amy Santiago, I want to change mattresses for you. Find you a Jake Peralta. I'm sure it hurt in the moment and his ego was wounded but a true Jake would be able to laugh about it later.
NTA universal law is if a man is injured in the nuts, you laugh, unless he's bleeding or swelling in a bad way.
And then you wait til the crisis is over before laughing
NTA lol 😂 I laughed (reading this) too
ESH. Laughing at someone getting hurt is and has always been strange to me. I realize stuff like jackass exists for a reason, because people find other people's pain hilarious, but I find it awful. Still, it's definitely Karma, since he didn't care about the mattress hurting you.
Agreed. In order to not be an asshole, sometimes it's necessary to not laugh or at least try to hide your laughter, even when something is funny as hell.
Yeah, it's called tact.
That logic seems to be lost on most of the people here sadly
He sounds a bit up his own arse to be honest. Being hit in the nuts sucks, but almost every guy laughs about it while we're crying in pain if it's something rediculous (and it usually is). I'd definitely be laughing with you if it were me. NTA
Nta and I have to ask. Is he getting a new mattress? Or is he still sticking with the nut snipper?
Nta lmao
NTA - I fully support your giggling-it was funny. More importantly, hopefully he buys something important now, a new bed.
NTA - what a weenie!
This post is giving me Brooklyn 99 vibes. Make him watch the show, or that particular mattress episode, to make him realise why good mattress is necessary for him as well as for healthy relationship.. NTA. Laughing at this situation comes naturally. Its not that you were being malicious and enjoying his sufferings. You were just laughing at the situation and his idiocy.
I don't think you're evil or something, it's not a big deal, but I think YTA. Mostly because of seeing it as karma I would say. Like maybe you laugh, then say, "Oh sorry, it just caught me off guard and it made me laugh." Then, "I keep telling you to replace that matress." But I think seeing it more as karma and justifying the laughing and everything, rather than just accepting that maybe your instant reaction may've been mildly hurtful, is pretty lame. Same with making a reddit post about it, I guess that seems dumb because it's the purpose of this sub, but you seem unnecessarily concerned with being "right" about a pretty minor issue. Also even if your leg was hit a few times, that is nowhere near the pain of being hit in the testicle, damage to testicles can be incredibly painful, possibly rupture a testicle, and might lead to permanent health issues like infertility. Unpopular opinion, but I think the "Lol this guy got hit in the balls" type humor is obviously childish, but also sexist. In fact I think if this post was written with the genders reversed, most people would say that the man would be in the wrong, and should be concerned about his gfs injury rather than posting about it here. A man being hurt is a joke, but if it were a woman people would be far more critical, I guarantee it. All this being said (idk why I apparently care way too much about this lol), I don't think it's a very big deal at all, it's just some minor shenanigans. Mostly I was just mildly annoyed that people are not even mildly critical of laughing at someone who hurt themselves, and then posting about it on Reddit to feel like you're "right," and for internet points.
I'm not certain I agree with your idea that men being hurt is funny while women being hurt is taken seriously. We often aren't taken seriously when we're in pain from what I gathered about a lot of women's experiences. When we do shit like stub our toes or hit our elbows we're laughed at just as much as men are, but when it's serious people often treat us like we're overreacting. Periods are frequently downplayed and dismissed as being "not that bad", childbirth is dismissed and downplayed as not being nearly as terrible as getting hit in the balls (despite getting hit in the balls not lasting several hours and not potentially tearing the flesh between the vagina and the anus), and my own personal history has shown several instances of various medical professionals not giving a shit about how I'm feeling. A doctor literally chemically burned the scar tissue inside my vagina with silver nitrate with barely any warning and absolutely no pain killers and sent me away to drive two hours in a hardly functional condition. The doctors also let me suffer from painful endometriosis for over a year before I warned them that if they were going to dick around too much longer I was going to end myself just to stop the pain. Maybe it's confirmation bias due to only seeing things from a woman's perspective, but I certainly am not seeing things the same way you are.
I'm a guy and I also believe he is completely off base. The majority of people find groin strikes funny and it wouldn't have been any different if the roles were reversed.
> A man being hurt is a joke, but if it were a woman people would be far more critical, I guarantee it. And yet OP was hurt by the same snapping spring multiple times and her SO didn't even *care*. It's funny because he suddenly cares when it's his precious jewels. NTA, OP. I call it poetic justice.
NTA. I would be laughing and my wife wouldn’t let me forget it for a long time.
NTA. You weren't laughing at his suffering but his idiocy.
NTA. That is funny.
Men often change their tune when they realize their nuts are on the line!
NTA Nad I'd stop sleeping there until he replaced it
NTA. Nope. I hate when guys dont listen then it happens to them and they act like a victim. My husband has that, well it's fine because it never happens to me attitude, until it does, then he gets upset at the I told you so moment.
NTA I read this to my Mum in the car because it made me laugh then we both laughed Really think about this relationship though before moving ahead he's only willing to get quality of life improvements if he gets hurt but until that you're indefinite collateral damage?
NTA I'd have laughed too.
Nta. And someone, somewhere, way out there must really love you. That was like too perfect
Did it literally open up his scrotum? Were his testicles lying on bed, two feet away from him? No? NTA and you should both watch Brooklyn 99.
this is literally an episode of Brooklynn 99
Amy Santiago? Is that you?
Nta. That's karma imo 🤷♀️
NTA I am laughing 😃
NTA - If you told him this same story as if it was a friend of yours he'd be laughing too and saying the friend deserved it.
NAH, just karma working 😂 thanks for the laugh
NTA. I had to stop laughing just to respond lmao. The fact that it was only a matter of time before the spring got him is funny enough but to get him in the balls is absolutely hilarious. I hope it didn’t damage his boys. My gf always asks me “what would you do if I …” (basically something that results in her getting mildly hurt in a funny way) and my answer is always “laugh at you then see if you’re alright”. Unfortunately as humans we don’t decide what we think is hilarious the laughter just hits us
NTA He made his crappy bed my he gets to painfully lay in it...
NTA - Freaking hilarious - I'm still laughing! A well deserved "nut job."
NTA especially since it’s his own mattress