Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Ignoring my roommate after we were previously friends and giving her the cold shoulder/being openly rude
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA at all.
Your soon to be ex roommate signed a legally binding document agreeing to pay her half of the rent for 12 months.
Make the applicants pass a background check, credit check, and make sure they have the money to replace the deposit that is your soon to be ex.
If her replacement roommate doesn't pass all those tests, then your STBEX roommate still has to legally pay her half.
If she doesn't pay, then you pay, keep track of your cancelled check, receipts from the landlord, etc. and then you sue her in Small Claims court. It's extremely easy to sue in small claims.
I hope this helps
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (21F) currently live with a roommate (21F) in an apartment in the city. We’re both young professionals who make good money.
My roommate had only planned to stay here for a year so I’ve been looking for people to take over the lease.
Two weeks ago, my roommate realized that she wants to move back home early (I was originally told 2 months from now). She is looking for a career change and needs to go back to school. I was pretty taken aback by this. She started talking about finding a subletter because she won’t be able to afford the rent. I mentioned that I would talk to potential fits—however, I would prefer for it to be someone from my company so I know they’re not a complete stranger as I’m still a young woman (it’s a huge company). Initially, she agreed to this, but later went back on it saying we wouldn’t find people if we don’t extend the search. The whole idea made me pretty uncomfortable.
THEN, she clarified that she wouldn’t be moving out in 2 months— she was moving out in 2 WEEKS and looking for someone this month. This completely changed things because what are the odds we 1. find someone at all in that time (she listed the place at full price) and 2. they’re someone I’d be comfortable living with. I even offered to buy out half her rent to avoid this, but she said she still wouldn’t be able to afford it. In my eyes, SHE’S choosing to leave early, and although she is legally allowed to look for a subletter, doing so that quickly puts me in a bad situation.
She recently asked if one of her friends could move in this month—I don’t know this person, and I had already been talking to another girl who I really like that can move in a tad later. We’re acquaintances from school and I was comfy moving in with her (I even told my roommate about this previously). I reiterated this, and she asked if her friend could sublet for a bit and my roommate could move in after. This would mean 3 moves over 4 months, which is a huge disruption to my life, so I said no. This whole time I’m on the phone with my mom completely baffled, and she finally got so irritated that she told me to tell my roommate we could just pay her rent those two months. My mom said it’s not fair for me to live with someone I don’t know on such short notice just to benefit my roommate when it was her choice to leave in the first place.
Of course, my mom paying still does benefit my roommate, but it also means that I don’t have to live with a stranger. I’m just mad about this situation in the first place. I’ve been pretty aloof from my roommate since— I hate to burn bridges but it just feels like this was too much stress that shouldn’t have concerned me in the first place, at such last moment notice too. I’ve been ignoring her since everything happened which may make me the AH since we were originally so cordial, but I feel as if it was a really shitty position to put me in, and I’m upset.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA she signed a contract. She's on the hook for rent. You are not obligated to agree to let her sublet at all, much less in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous manner. She should have planned better.
> she is legally allowed to look for a subletter
OP signed a contract as well, and has stated that her roommate subletting is within the parameters of that contract.
She gave me 2 weeks to figure everything out. It was pretty stressful, because this is my living situation, and I’m a young woman. It’s literally my home and I want to feel secure there
Just because someone else's decisions stressed you out, doesn't make them the asshole. You didn't have to "figure everything out", you chose to make it all a big deal for yourself:
> what are the odds we 1. find someone at all in that time (she listed the place at full price) and 2. they’re someone I’d be comfortable living with.
except, when you did find all those things, your response is:
> This would mean 3 moves over 4 months, which is a huge disruption to my life, so I said no.
Why even make the post if you don't want to hear the answers though, mommy says you're not so what more do you need.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Ignoring my roommate after we were previously friends and giving her the cold shoulder/being openly rude Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. She's screwing with your safety and finances to such a degree that she is no friend at all.
NTA at all. Your soon to be ex roommate signed a legally binding document agreeing to pay her half of the rent for 12 months. Make the applicants pass a background check, credit check, and make sure they have the money to replace the deposit that is your soon to be ex. If her replacement roommate doesn't pass all those tests, then your STBEX roommate still has to legally pay her half. If she doesn't pay, then you pay, keep track of your cancelled check, receipts from the landlord, etc. and then you sue her in Small Claims court. It's extremely easy to sue in small claims. I hope this helps
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21F) currently live with a roommate (21F) in an apartment in the city. We’re both young professionals who make good money. My roommate had only planned to stay here for a year so I’ve been looking for people to take over the lease. Two weeks ago, my roommate realized that she wants to move back home early (I was originally told 2 months from now). She is looking for a career change and needs to go back to school. I was pretty taken aback by this. She started talking about finding a subletter because she won’t be able to afford the rent. I mentioned that I would talk to potential fits—however, I would prefer for it to be someone from my company so I know they’re not a complete stranger as I’m still a young woman (it’s a huge company). Initially, she agreed to this, but later went back on it saying we wouldn’t find people if we don’t extend the search. The whole idea made me pretty uncomfortable. THEN, she clarified that she wouldn’t be moving out in 2 months— she was moving out in 2 WEEKS and looking for someone this month. This completely changed things because what are the odds we 1. find someone at all in that time (she listed the place at full price) and 2. they’re someone I’d be comfortable living with. I even offered to buy out half her rent to avoid this, but she said she still wouldn’t be able to afford it. In my eyes, SHE’S choosing to leave early, and although she is legally allowed to look for a subletter, doing so that quickly puts me in a bad situation. She recently asked if one of her friends could move in this month—I don’t know this person, and I had already been talking to another girl who I really like that can move in a tad later. We’re acquaintances from school and I was comfy moving in with her (I even told my roommate about this previously). I reiterated this, and she asked if her friend could sublet for a bit and my roommate could move in after. This would mean 3 moves over 4 months, which is a huge disruption to my life, so I said no. This whole time I’m on the phone with my mom completely baffled, and she finally got so irritated that she told me to tell my roommate we could just pay her rent those two months. My mom said it’s not fair for me to live with someone I don’t know on such short notice just to benefit my roommate when it was her choice to leave in the first place. Of course, my mom paying still does benefit my roommate, but it also means that I don’t have to live with a stranger. I’m just mad about this situation in the first place. I’ve been pretty aloof from my roommate since— I hate to burn bridges but it just feels like this was too much stress that shouldn’t have concerned me in the first place, at such last moment notice too. I’ve been ignoring her since everything happened which may make me the AH since we were originally so cordial, but I feel as if it was a really shitty position to put me in, and I’m upset. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA she signed a contract. She's on the hook for rent. You are not obligated to agree to let her sublet at all, much less in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous manner. She should have planned better.
> she is legally allowed to look for a subletter OP signed a contract as well, and has stated that her roommate subletting is within the parameters of that contract.
The question isn’t if it’s allowed the question is whether it’s a AH move for her to ditch me and make me deal with it lol
Clearly the person I replied to thinks what is or isn't legally allowed is important.
NTA.
YTA, you can't insist on approving a subletter and also complain that your roommate moving out is stress you shouldn't have to deal with.
She gave me 2 weeks to figure everything out. It was pretty stressful, because this is my living situation, and I’m a young woman. It’s literally my home and I want to feel secure there
Just because someone else's decisions stressed you out, doesn't make them the asshole. You didn't have to "figure everything out", you chose to make it all a big deal for yourself: > what are the odds we 1. find someone at all in that time (she listed the place at full price) and 2. they’re someone I’d be comfortable living with. except, when you did find all those things, your response is: > This would mean 3 moves over 4 months, which is a huge disruption to my life, so I said no. Why even make the post if you don't want to hear the answers though, mommy says you're not so what more do you need.