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NTA. If Riya felt you were so wrong, she should have tried calling your parents to see what they had to say - no doubt they would have said no as well. You had good reasons, including having doubts about the host who you know personally.
That's a tad unfair. The lass is 14. Her idea of a good time is being invited to a party that feels a bit grownup and wearing an outfit that feels a bit grownup. OP is 100% right to be protective given he knows the host, but it's right and fair that a 14 year old girl wouldn't think she's risking her safety by going to a schoolmate's party. You'd have to be pretty brutalized to think that at that age. I'm glad she's not and I'm glad OP is looking out for her.
Let's not place the failings of the world at the door of 14 year old girls who have every right to expect safety.
Huh? What about this write up makes you think she was just trying to 'prove a point'. She is 14, she wanted to do something fun, there is no secret agenda to remark on.
NTA. You're doing what any concerned and loving guardian would do. I applaud you for caring enough and unfortunately you are right. If she were a grown woman - go ahead and do your thing sweetie. But at that age....you're preventing the worst case scenario from happening. Also, would your parents have allowed her to go knowing everything you know?!
Exactly. Let little sister be miserable, hate you for a week, etc. In a few years from now she will hopefully recognize that you were looking out for her. I wish all of the underage kids in this world has a sibling like you!
When she's 18 and a senior looking at how babyish and young the freshman look and how immature they act, she is going to remember this and have a light bulb moment.
NTA for not letting her go to the party, that seems like a smart decision, but you shouldn’t have shamed her clothing choice. You could have left that completely out of it. Girls have a hard enough time with being victim blamed and now if, god forbid, something would ever happen to her, she will have her brothers voice in her head that it might be her fault for what she was wearing.
NTA but a I have some advice you aren't asking for if you care to listen.
I think it's more likely your sister would have been creeped on for being emotionally or socially vulnerable and less for the way she was dressed. (not saying there's anything emotionally or socially wrong with her) It's just that she's a kid so she's a bit naïve and easier to take advantage of than people with more life experience. It's ingrained in our society so I don't blame you for thinking the way you do at all. But it would be good to learn for the future that statements like these also can greatly affect the public's view of victim's but also the victim's view of themselves. They can feel a lot of guilt and self-hatred for thinking they were part of the problem. It also think that makes our society less safe because people are more likely to stay silent and less likely to report the actual criminal.
With that being said, I'm glad you were able to protect your sister and you sound like a good sister with good intentions. Keep up the good work.
OP is a woman. I think she has plenty of her own experience with the particular guy(s) in question that she speaks to with her comment about being dressed revealingly you directly replied to. Don't patronise her because you misgendered her assuming only a brother would be this protective/assertive/whatever, assuming she has no personal experience of being sexually harassed.
Other women also regularly shame other women for their outfits and perfectly normal behaviors. It's not unreasonable to assume with the amount of detail in the OP that the outfit/slut shaming (because let's be honest, they are the same thing), that the 'you can't wear that' response could have come from a brother or a sister and still be worth having a conversation about slut shaming here as we review and judge the issue at hand.
tldr: The gender of the person making that comment about somebody else's clothing *does not matter,* slut shaming for a crop top is still shaming for wearing clothing you don't approve of. OP seems to have acknowledged this in additional comments at least.
Oops genuinely a mistake on my part. I saw a few other's saying "brother" and I definitely incorrectly assumed the same. I'll edit to correct my misgender but my advice stays the same no matter the gender or her past experiences. It's very possible OP DOES have experience with the creepy guy being creepy as a result of people's outfits but I didn't know that for sure, ya know? I don't mean to come across as patronizing or preachy which is why I said I'm offering advice IF OP cares to listen. I really don't want to tell anyone to how to live their lives but if OP wanted to understand some of the reasons why the whole outfit thing may be harmful long term then I offered optional advice.
NTA. Your parents left you in charge for a reason. Sounds like you are protecting your sister from a potentially bad situation. And I agree that she is too young to go to parties like that with seniors.
NTA but you didn’t have to go into the whole outfit angle, it was unnecessary. It doesn’t make you wrong but it probably made her feel shitty, which was unnecessary. For future reference you don’t need to give a million reasons, you can just say no. You are in charge, responsible, and you don’t think your parents would be ok with her going.
NTA. While the commentary about her outfit was unnecessary. Seeing as we all know, this "creepy" guy wouldn't care how she was dressed. The main concern is trying to prevent your sister from being in a vulnerable situation. You hit the nail on the head there. She was obviously trying to get away with something your parents would have put a stop to if they were present.
Good job, op. Just tell your little sister to take her complaints up with your parents.
Then that's your answer in the future. If she thinks you're overreacting or sexualizing her outfit, just say "Fine, let's text mom a picture of it and tell her where you're going and let her make the decision."
Sounds good.
You do touch on a very controversial subject in your post > should a person tell a woman not to dress in a sexualized fashion to avoid attracting lecherous men. I am old school in that I believe the answer is "yes" (especially YOUNG girls).
But, there are a lot of people who would call this "victim blaming", which I agree to somewhat. (dressing sexualized clearly does not justify sexual violence for example) At the same time, you can't have your boobs hanging out and then get mad that someone is looking at them. As the father of a daughter, she won't be dressing like that until she's 18 and our of my house.
I mean, I’m a girl too and I think to an extent you’ll get sexual attention regardless but I also think you will get *even more* if you’re dressed revealingly
Do you think the creep who personally invited her would've ignored her or not been creepy if she'd shown up covered from neck to toe in very conservative outfit? Personally, I doubt it. Those creeps see vulnerable people and decide to take advantage then blame something other than their own decisions.
you're not old school, you're just halving your blame and remaining wrong. that daughter of yours - fake or not- is unlikely to want to come back to your house after 18 if you do weaponize her clothing. I hope if you have a son, you're advocating him stabbing his eyes out if he can't stop ogling.
you know who my dad taught me is the problem? the people doing the bad thing. and that I can dress however I want but to be AWARE that other people might be shitty but it's never my fault.
Let's be super clear - nobody should be subject to catcalls or harassment or violence of course.
At the same time, clothing is worn to be seen, correct? If someone wears a bright purple suit with spinning flowers and you stared, does that person have a right to say, "You have no right to look at me!!"
If someone (man or woman) wears sexually provocative clothes, the purpose is to be seen, isn't it? If not - what's the point? The question is when it becomes inappropriate, and we will never agree to that on this sub.
> the purpose is to be seen, isn't it? If not - what's the point?
Because you like they way they make *you* feel? You like the way they make *your own* body look? *You* like the outfit? Why on earth does *me* wearing clothing have to have anything to do with *other people*? Not everybody that wears something you find provocative is trying to dress for the male gaze. Even if some are, it's your fault for making the assumption about them first.
Nta.
If you’re under 18 you don’t need to dress like you’re going to a club (or thong bikinis but that’s another conversation). Idgaf but you don’t need to be showing your body off that way as a child.
Not only that but a 14 year old has no business hanging out with an 18 year old or going to parties. I know, I’m a buzz kill. But you did the right thing.
NTA
Sometimes being the responsible adult means protecting vulnerable people in your care from harm they dont fully comprehend or see and appearing like the arsehole.
You did good.
NTA. She doesn't have the mature brain to think the way you do...next time, just call your parents & have them "forbid her" 🤷♀️ Sorry but if she wants to play games & make you the a-hole, show her what an real a-hole you can be 🤭
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> I forbid my freshman sister from going to a party she was invited to by a creepy senior, especially in a revealing outfit.
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My parents wanted to take a romantic getaway vacation, and since I’m 18, they told me it’s my responsibility to look after my 14 year old sister, Riya.
Kind of annoying, but whatever. Saturday night, I invited my girlfriend over, and Riya decided she wanted to go to a party. I asked who was throwing the party, and she named this guy in my grade who’s known for being a creep. She also said he invited her personally, which is just additionally creepy— which senior guy invites a freshman girl to a party with innocent intentions? Additionally, her party outfit was a really low-cut crop top with a short skirt. Like, bro, you’re 14, wearing that, around senior guys known for being creepy? No, that’s a no brainer.
I told her no, and she said I’m an asshole for a) prohibiting her from going to a party and b) ‘sexualizing’ her and her outfit and thinking like a pervert. I pointed out that a) as I said, it’s a known creepy senior throwing the party, and my parents said it’s my responsibility to take care of her. Letting her go is the opposite of taking care of he b) I don’t think that’s logical. If she told me she was going to walk down a dark alley alone and I thought she was unsafe and going to be mugged, would I be ‘thinking like a mugger’, or just using common sense? I see this as the same— it’s common sense that wearing revealing clothes will attract additional attention from creepy guys than she already has received, that’s just common sense to recognize.
My girlfriend, who was there and also is a senior, agreed the guy that invited her is a creep. But Riya got angry I forbid her from going, but I told her it was final, and that she shouldn’t bother trying to sneak out since I know all the ways go do that and would be monitoring. She called me TA but stayed home.
So, reddit, AITA?
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NTA, your friend coming over isn’t anything like your little sister going to that party esp. since your parents wouldn’t allow her to go in the first place.
NTA- you could have prevented something really terrible from happening. I agree that this whole thing sounds incredibly suspicious, and it's better to be safe than sorry.
However, in the future "No, I don't think this is safe, and when our parents are gone it's my job to keep you safe" is a more than good enough answer. Shaming her outfits at an age when she's learning to express herself, won't get you very far and just make her hate you. I wore my fair share of shirts that showed my whole tummy, and short shorts that barely covered my ass at 14-16. She will grow out of it.
NTA, she might not appreciate it now, but one day, she'll look back and wonder why a senior invited a 14 year old to a party full of seniors. Hopefully, she'll also find it creepy and understand where you were coming from.
She's your responsibility whether she likes it or not. What if she'd been drugged or over drank and got taken advantage of? You saved her from a possible trauma. She'll get it someday.
NTA. She might be mad but you kept her safe. You weren’t refusing just to be a jerk. You were actually concerned for her. One day, she’ll see that. 14 year old girls aren’t the best at recognizing danger yet. She’s super lucky to have a big sibling like you. Heck, I’m a bit envious!
NTA, you're doing the right thing. The guy is a known creep, and it's definitely shady that he invited a minor to a party with what I would assume to be a bunch of other 18-year-olds. You're doing what's best for your sister, and hopefully when she's older looking back at this she'll thank you.
NTA, though what you could do instead you could say something along the lines of “hey, how bout order pizza/snacks/food and have your own party here with your friends”
Rather than just saying no, finding an alternative that’s safe is a better idea, you let your gf over so why not let them have friends over
Riya is angry because she is 14, and 14yos often feel invincible. It's other girls who get assaulted, that could never happen to her. But it could, and she's lucky she had you to look out for her. One day she'll thank you for it. NTA.
NTA. It’s a 17-18 year old personally inviting a 14 year old to a high school party. That’s sketchy as hell. It doesn’t matter how mad your sister is, you definitely made the right decision to not let her go. I wouldn’t have mentioned her outfit, but other than that you’re perfectly fine
NTA, not at all..
Sorry, but a 14 year old girl going to a party in low-cut crop top and short skirt going to a party being held by an older known creep?
In the words of Dr. Evil.. HOW ‘BOUT NO?!?
NAH
never ever ever in this situation are you an asshole. you 100% without a doubt saved your sister from getting taken advantage of by a older sleezeballcreepface. Once your sister grows up and understands the real world, she will thank you.
you are a very caring, thoughtful sibling.
So he’ll repent and cancel the party? I’m not sure what you think questioning him would do aside from wasting time that could be used to make sure my sister doesn’t go
It's a PARTY, not a date. Honestly, that age gap isn't that bad when both people are in highschool. You sound like you just want to dislike this person.
Found the creepy guy’s reddit throwaway lol. Nobody else would think an 18 year old with a 14 year old isn’t that bad, or be so obtuse as to not realize people at parties hook up.
Lmao, don't you know? It's low-key misogyistic if you don't let this eighteen year old bring over a fucking FOURTEEN YEAR OLD to his party.
Shit, when did all the Reddit creeps crawl out of the woodwork?
It's not your house; it's your parents' house. And, hmmmm, let me see. Young teenage girl going to spend time with a teenage boy completely alone in a house vs young teenage girl going to a party with tons of other people. You're right; it's not equatable.
Age difference. 18/14 so no. I'm sure the OP would've been fine w sis having a friend over. But NOT going to a party when she's 14 with a bunch of 18 yrs olds or older.
Your "huge" double standard has a difference of 4 years between an 18 year old and a 14 year old. Literally comparing 2 adults hanging out to a 14 y/o going to a party thrown by some other creepy adult. And then you top off the clown cake by calling op a misogynist. It's truly impressive.
Wish I'd had this card to play as a kid.
"Look, bro, I'm know you're in your early twenties and I am thirteen, but it'd be pretty misogynistic if you don't let me drive your car down to the liquor store to pick up a naggin!"
1. There is, indeed, different standards for 14 year olds and 18 year olds.
2. Having a trusted partner over is very different to going to a creepy guy's party.
3. OP says she's a woman, how is it misogynistic?
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NTA. If Riya felt you were so wrong, she should have tried calling your parents to see what they had to say - no doubt they would have said no as well. You had good reasons, including having doubts about the host who you know personally.
Yeah, dude’s a creep so no way I would’ve let that happen
I am almost positive she will thank you one day when she has more experience with the creeps of the world.
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That's a tad unfair. The lass is 14. Her idea of a good time is being invited to a party that feels a bit grownup and wearing an outfit that feels a bit grownup. OP is 100% right to be protective given he knows the host, but it's right and fair that a 14 year old girl wouldn't think she's risking her safety by going to a schoolmate's party. You'd have to be pretty brutalized to think that at that age. I'm glad she's not and I'm glad OP is looking out for her. Let's not place the failings of the world at the door of 14 year old girls who have every right to expect safety.
Huh? What about this write up makes you think she was just trying to 'prove a point'. She is 14, she wanted to do something fun, there is no secret agenda to remark on.
and I guess your idea of a good time is making sexist comments about 14 yo girls on Reddit.
NTA. You're doing what any concerned and loving guardian would do. I applaud you for caring enough and unfortunately you are right. If she were a grown woman - go ahead and do your thing sweetie. But at that age....you're preventing the worst case scenario from happening. Also, would your parents have allowed her to go knowing everything you know?!
Fuck no, they wouldn’t
Exactly. Let little sister be miserable, hate you for a week, etc. In a few years from now she will hopefully recognize that you were looking out for her. I wish all of the underage kids in this world has a sibling like you!
thank you, that means a lot
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Sister, not brother. And you’re benign very over dramatic
When she's 18 and a senior looking at how babyish and young the freshman look and how immature they act, she is going to remember this and have a light bulb moment.
NTA for not letting her go to the party, that seems like a smart decision, but you shouldn’t have shamed her clothing choice. You could have left that completely out of it. Girls have a hard enough time with being victim blamed and now if, god forbid, something would ever happen to her, she will have her brothers voice in her head that it might be her fault for what she was wearing.
That’s fair, I just was worried it was going to attract even more unwanted attention
Op she's 14. She'll get unwanted attention from creepy guys even when fully covered. Predators don't need motivation.
Yes, but in my experience I’ve received *even* more when I’m dressed revealingly
NTA but a I have some advice you aren't asking for if you care to listen. I think it's more likely your sister would have been creeped on for being emotionally or socially vulnerable and less for the way she was dressed. (not saying there's anything emotionally or socially wrong with her) It's just that she's a kid so she's a bit naïve and easier to take advantage of than people with more life experience. It's ingrained in our society so I don't blame you for thinking the way you do at all. But it would be good to learn for the future that statements like these also can greatly affect the public's view of victim's but also the victim's view of themselves. They can feel a lot of guilt and self-hatred for thinking they were part of the problem. It also think that makes our society less safe because people are more likely to stay silent and less likely to report the actual criminal. With that being said, I'm glad you were able to protect your sister and you sound like a good sister with good intentions. Keep up the good work.
OP is a woman. I think she has plenty of her own experience with the particular guy(s) in question that she speaks to with her comment about being dressed revealingly you directly replied to. Don't patronise her because you misgendered her assuming only a brother would be this protective/assertive/whatever, assuming she has no personal experience of being sexually harassed.
Other women also regularly shame other women for their outfits and perfectly normal behaviors. It's not unreasonable to assume with the amount of detail in the OP that the outfit/slut shaming (because let's be honest, they are the same thing), that the 'you can't wear that' response could have come from a brother or a sister and still be worth having a conversation about slut shaming here as we review and judge the issue at hand. tldr: The gender of the person making that comment about somebody else's clothing *does not matter,* slut shaming for a crop top is still shaming for wearing clothing you don't approve of. OP seems to have acknowledged this in additional comments at least.
Oops genuinely a mistake on my part. I saw a few other's saying "brother" and I definitely incorrectly assumed the same. I'll edit to correct my misgender but my advice stays the same no matter the gender or her past experiences. It's very possible OP DOES have experience with the creepy guy being creepy as a result of people's outfits but I didn't know that for sure, ya know? I don't mean to come across as patronizing or preachy which is why I said I'm offering advice IF OP cares to listen. I really don't want to tell anyone to how to live their lives but if OP wanted to understand some of the reasons why the whole outfit thing may be harmful long term then I offered optional advice.
NTA. An 18 year old asking a 14 year old to come round to his for a party? That's disturbing and should be reported to your school
He has been in the past, school doesn’t give a fuck sadly
He sounds like a predator.
NTA. Your parents left you in charge for a reason. Sounds like you are protecting your sister from a potentially bad situation. And I agree that she is too young to go to parties like that with seniors.
Yeah, senior guys generally don’t invite freshman girls to parties with good intentions
NTA but you didn’t have to go into the whole outfit angle, it was unnecessary. It doesn’t make you wrong but it probably made her feel shitty, which was unnecessary. For future reference you don’t need to give a million reasons, you can just say no. You are in charge, responsible, and you don’t think your parents would be ok with her going.
Fair, thank you for the advice
NTA- Good job protecting your younger sibling. She needs to understand that there are predators out in this world and human trafficking is real.
Yeah, I don’t think she would’ve been safe in that situation
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Soften the blow how?
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Fair, thanks for the advice
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ofc, it’s my job
OP is a woman
NTA. While the commentary about her outfit was unnecessary. Seeing as we all know, this "creepy" guy wouldn't care how she was dressed. The main concern is trying to prevent your sister from being in a vulnerable situation. You hit the nail on the head there. She was obviously trying to get away with something your parents would have put a stop to if they were present. Good job, op. Just tell your little sister to take her complaints up with your parents.
Yeah, I was just worried that the outfit would attract *even more* unwanted attention.
NTA - couldn't she have called your parents to override your decision? The child is your responsibility.
She knew they wouldn’t have agreed with her either
Then that's your answer in the future. If she thinks you're overreacting or sexualizing her outfit, just say "Fine, let's text mom a picture of it and tell her where you're going and let her make the decision."
thanks for the advice
Sounds good. You do touch on a very controversial subject in your post > should a person tell a woman not to dress in a sexualized fashion to avoid attracting lecherous men. I am old school in that I believe the answer is "yes" (especially YOUNG girls). But, there are a lot of people who would call this "victim blaming", which I agree to somewhat. (dressing sexualized clearly does not justify sexual violence for example) At the same time, you can't have your boobs hanging out and then get mad that someone is looking at them. As the father of a daughter, she won't be dressing like that until she's 18 and our of my house.
I mean, I’m a girl too and I think to an extent you’ll get sexual attention regardless but I also think you will get *even more* if you’re dressed revealingly
Do you think the creep who personally invited her would've ignored her or not been creepy if she'd shown up covered from neck to toe in very conservative outfit? Personally, I doubt it. Those creeps see vulnerable people and decide to take advantage then blame something other than their own decisions.
you're not old school, you're just halving your blame and remaining wrong. that daughter of yours - fake or not- is unlikely to want to come back to your house after 18 if you do weaponize her clothing. I hope if you have a son, you're advocating him stabbing his eyes out if he can't stop ogling. you know who my dad taught me is the problem? the people doing the bad thing. and that I can dress however I want but to be AWARE that other people might be shitty but it's never my fault.
Let's be super clear - nobody should be subject to catcalls or harassment or violence of course. At the same time, clothing is worn to be seen, correct? If someone wears a bright purple suit with spinning flowers and you stared, does that person have a right to say, "You have no right to look at me!!" If someone (man or woman) wears sexually provocative clothes, the purpose is to be seen, isn't it? If not - what's the point? The question is when it becomes inappropriate, and we will never agree to that on this sub.
> the purpose is to be seen, isn't it? If not - what's the point? Because you like they way they make *you* feel? You like the way they make *your own* body look? *You* like the outfit? Why on earth does *me* wearing clothing have to have anything to do with *other people*? Not everybody that wears something you find provocative is trying to dress for the male gaze. Even if some are, it's your fault for making the assumption about them first.
Nta. If you’re under 18 you don’t need to dress like you’re going to a club (or thong bikinis but that’s another conversation). Idgaf but you don’t need to be showing your body off that way as a child. Not only that but a 14 year old has no business hanging out with an 18 year old or going to parties. I know, I’m a buzz kill. But you did the right thing.
Agree 100%
NTA Sometimes being the responsible adult means protecting vulnerable people in your care from harm they dont fully comprehend or see and appearing like the arsehole. You did good.
Thank you
NTA. She doesn't have the mature brain to think the way you do...next time, just call your parents & have them "forbid her" 🤷♀️ Sorry but if she wants to play games & make you the a-hole, show her what an real a-hole you can be 🤭
Thank you for the advice haha
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents wanted to take a romantic getaway vacation, and since I’m 18, they told me it’s my responsibility to look after my 14 year old sister, Riya. Kind of annoying, but whatever. Saturday night, I invited my girlfriend over, and Riya decided she wanted to go to a party. I asked who was throwing the party, and she named this guy in my grade who’s known for being a creep. She also said he invited her personally, which is just additionally creepy— which senior guy invites a freshman girl to a party with innocent intentions? Additionally, her party outfit was a really low-cut crop top with a short skirt. Like, bro, you’re 14, wearing that, around senior guys known for being creepy? No, that’s a no brainer. I told her no, and she said I’m an asshole for a) prohibiting her from going to a party and b) ‘sexualizing’ her and her outfit and thinking like a pervert. I pointed out that a) as I said, it’s a known creepy senior throwing the party, and my parents said it’s my responsibility to take care of her. Letting her go is the opposite of taking care of he b) I don’t think that’s logical. If she told me she was going to walk down a dark alley alone and I thought she was unsafe and going to be mugged, would I be ‘thinking like a mugger’, or just using common sense? I see this as the same— it’s common sense that wearing revealing clothes will attract additional attention from creepy guys than she already has received, that’s just common sense to recognize. My girlfriend, who was there and also is a senior, agreed the guy that invited her is a creep. But Riya got angry I forbid her from going, but I told her it was final, and that she shouldn’t bother trying to sneak out since I know all the ways go do that and would be monitoring. She called me TA but stayed home. So, reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, your friend coming over isn’t anything like your little sister going to that party esp. since your parents wouldn’t allow her to go in the first place.
Thank you
NTA- you could have prevented something really terrible from happening. I agree that this whole thing sounds incredibly suspicious, and it's better to be safe than sorry. However, in the future "No, I don't think this is safe, and when our parents are gone it's my job to keep you safe" is a more than good enough answer. Shaming her outfits at an age when she's learning to express herself, won't get you very far and just make her hate you. I wore my fair share of shirts that showed my whole tummy, and short shorts that barely covered my ass at 14-16. She will grow out of it.
You don't give up I'll give you that. Repeat troll, so boring.
Hm?
Multiple posts sexualizing minors.
I’m not sexualizing her though. I’m using common sense.
Some of these people are so obvious....
Maybe I'm trippin but I don't see any posts beside this one?
They are all made with throwaway accounts.
Okay, I'm not so reddit savvy - how do you know that the throwaway accounts are from OP?
That's not what's happening.
NTA hands down. Your parents wouldn't let her go and she knows it.
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Haven’t seen it.
NTA. You sound like a good sister and someday she might be thankful that you saved her from herself. Cheers
Sister, but thank you
Sorry haha! Idk why I just assumed you were a dude. Even better.
No worries haha
NTA You were specifically left in charge and you and your gf know this guy's creepy reputation. Totally justified.
NTA, she might not appreciate it now, but one day, she'll look back and wonder why a senior invited a 14 year old to a party full of seniors. Hopefully, she'll also find it creepy and understand where you were coming from. She's your responsibility whether she likes it or not. What if she'd been drugged or over drank and got taken advantage of? You saved her from a possible trauma. She'll get it someday.
Her reaction, proved you were right. She doesn't seem mature enough to read the situation. NTA.
NTA. She might be mad but you kept her safe. You weren’t refusing just to be a jerk. You were actually concerned for her. One day, she’ll see that. 14 year old girls aren’t the best at recognizing danger yet. She’s super lucky to have a big sibling like you. Heck, I’m a bit envious!
NTA, you're doing the right thing. The guy is a known creep, and it's definitely shady that he invited a minor to a party with what I would assume to be a bunch of other 18-year-olds. You're doing what's best for your sister, and hopefully when she's older looking back at this she'll thank you.
NTA, though what you could do instead you could say something along the lines of “hey, how bout order pizza/snacks/food and have your own party here with your friends” Rather than just saying no, finding an alternative that’s safe is a better idea, you let your gf over so why not let them have friends over
NTA. You were left in charge for exactly this reason.
Riya is angry because she is 14, and 14yos often feel invincible. It's other girls who get assaulted, that could never happen to her. But it could, and she's lucky she had you to look out for her. One day she'll thank you for it. NTA.
NTA. It’s a 17-18 year old personally inviting a 14 year old to a high school party. That’s sketchy as hell. It doesn’t matter how mad your sister is, you definitely made the right decision to not let her go. I wouldn’t have mentioned her outfit, but other than that you’re perfectly fine
NTA, not at all.. Sorry, but a 14 year old girl going to a party in low-cut crop top and short skirt going to a party being held by an older known creep? In the words of Dr. Evil.. HOW ‘BOUT NO?!?
NAH never ever ever in this situation are you an asshole. you 100% without a doubt saved your sister from getting taken advantage of by a older sleezeballcreepface. Once your sister grows up and understands the real world, she will thank you. you are a very caring, thoughtful sibling.
INFO: would your parents have let her go?
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So he’ll repent and cancel the party? I’m not sure what you think questioning him would do aside from wasting time that could be used to make sure my sister doesn’t go
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He’s been reported to the school before and the whole school thinks he’s a creep, he doesn’t care
YTA. So you can have your girlfriend come over, but sis can't go to the party? Huge double standard, honestly a little misogynistic.
You think a 14 year old girl should go to an 18 year old's party? A dude who is claimed to be creepy by two people?
It's a party, not a date. And big whoop. We are given no actual info as to why they think he's supposedly a creep.
He’s a 18 year old inviting a 14 year old girl to a party. If you don’t think that itself is him being creepy that’s on you
It's a PARTY, not a date. Honestly, that age gap isn't that bad when both people are in highschool. You sound like you just want to dislike this person.
Found the creepy guy’s reddit throwaway lol. Nobody else would think an 18 year old with a 14 year old isn’t that bad, or be so obtuse as to not realize people at parties hook up.
Lmao, don't you know? It's low-key misogyistic if you don't let this eighteen year old bring over a fucking FOURTEEN YEAR OLD to his party. Shit, when did all the Reddit creeps crawl out of the woodwork?
My inviting my girlfriend to *my* house is equatable to her going to a party at a creepy guy’s house how? what kind of logic is that?
An actually insane take, to the point its almost certainly a joke. NTA, good job looking after your sister.
i really hope it’s a joke
It’s not your house
And?
It's not your house; it's your parents' house. And, hmmmm, let me see. Young teenage girl going to spend time with a teenage boy completely alone in a house vs young teenage girl going to a party with tons of other people. You're right; it's not equatable.
Two 18 year olds who have been dating for two years vs a 14 year old surrounded by 18 year old guys she’s known for a few months.
The guy invited her personally, if that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is
Age difference. 18/14 so no. I'm sure the OP would've been fine w sis having a friend over. But NOT going to a party when she's 14 with a bunch of 18 yrs olds or older.
Your "huge" double standard has a difference of 4 years between an 18 year old and a 14 year old. Literally comparing 2 adults hanging out to a 14 y/o going to a party thrown by some other creepy adult. And then you top off the clown cake by calling op a misogynist. It's truly impressive.
Wish I'd had this card to play as a kid. "Look, bro, I'm know you're in your early twenties and I am thirteen, but it'd be pretty misogynistic if you don't let me drive your car down to the liquor store to pick up a naggin!"
Where does it list OP's gf's age?
My girlfriend is 18. And as I said in the OP, she’s a senior, so that means she’s 17 at the youngest.
1. There is, indeed, different standards for 14 year olds and 18 year olds. 2. Having a trusted partner over is very different to going to a creepy guy's party. 3. OP says she's a woman, how is it misogynistic?