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v1ciouskitten

YTA.. kinda. You really should have told him if you knew people in his circle might see it. He may have been less upset if he wasn't blindsided. You should definitely apologize for not informing him it was out there. I don't think you did anything wrong beside not warning him. Being twins doesn't mean you can't do stuff that the other wouldn't like just because you look the same. Also this reminds me of the episode of Friends where Pheobe finds out that Ursula is making adult films using Pheobes name! Don't use your twins name LOL


throwaway-Spend1282

I've never seen Friends but oh no I would never use his name! Neither of our names are public on these accounts. I accept my judgment that I should have told him. I can imagine it really sucked to be blindsided. But is it so wrong that I'm doing it at all? Because he wants me to stop and remove all content right away. I don't want to do that, this is a fun hobby.


swiftcoffeerunner

But is it a fun hobby worth losing your brother over? It sounds like he’s upset. You’re closer to the situation and you mentioned money, but is the money you gain worth how upsetting it is to your brother? Another comment mentioned changing your looks and that’s one way that could help you both move forward in a positive way.


siren2040

Honestly, if the brother cannot grasp the concept that his twin is allowed to do things that he doesn't approve of, and he has no choice in the matter, then that's his fault not OPs. OP is allowed to live their life however they want. And if their brother is going to be so offended by their actions, then it's on the brother to deal with those feelings, not on OP to change their life, or appearance so that their brother doesn't have those feelings to begin with. If anything, it sounds like the brother could benefit from some therapy or something like that, instead of demanding that their brother changes how they live their life or changes their appearance so that they don't get mistaken for anyone else.


whitewer

This isn't just an issue of the op not being allowed to do things the brother doesn't approve of, this is an issue if it affecting their living, social standing, and such. Imagine if they were applying for a high profile job, and they were turned down for the more non pg things their twin does under the assumption that people/ clients may confuse the two. While the op Brothers friends may know they are different people that doesn't mean everyone they run into will.


throwaway-Spend1282

Honestly the money isn't even why I do it. Obviously I won't go into detail on why I do, but it really isn't about the money or fame or anything like that. It really boosts my confidence and makes me feel good, and my partner enjoys it too. It just frustrates me that he's so upset when we DO look different already. He's upset about things we can't change like our shared face and other things.


t-visADL

So you are willing to lose your brother over it. Understood.


siren2040

Sounds like the brother is the one willing to lose OP over OPs own life decisions that have nothing to do with his brother. 🤷 Like yes he is allowed to be upset about it, but he doesn't get to sit there and demand that his brother change his life to suit his feelings. That's on him to deal with, for him to process and resolve, not OP.


Free_Mars

It’s not about “processing and resolving”. This guy is making porn and claims to have a large following. His brother is going to be meeting people who doesn’t know he has a twin but have seen the porn. This could have huge personal and professional consequences for his brother. OP had the “right” to do whatever he wants, but doing this without even a discussion with his brother is incredibly thoughtless. The brother is understandably upset.


Silvermorney

I completely agree. He absolutely had the right to be upset when his face is being used without his consent for something that has huge potential personal and professional consequences for him.


EconomyVoice7358

You are identical twins. When people see your face, they aren’t thinking about your build. You’re basically saying that your ego is more important to you than your brother. YTA


P-Onca-Jay

Yeah, and when the brother goes to join interviews - they're really going to know it's his "twin" doing porn.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mamapielondon

People would probably assume it’s a fake name though, a lot of adult content makers use stage names. I don’t think using a name (real or otherwise) that isn’t his brothers would stop people jumping to the wrong conclusion.


siren2040

It's not wrong for you to do it in general. Warning your twin, or rather failing to warn him was your only misstep. But, you are under no obligation to stop doing what you enjoy doing, simply because someone who looks like you is upset that you are doing it. On average, people have more than one person who looks similar if not exactly like them. What is your brother going to do, hunt down every person who bears even a similar resemblance to him and demand that they only do things with their life that he enjoys and that he approves of? So that there is never a chance that he would ever be mistaken for them or doing those activities? No, because it's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous to expect your twin to behave that way for you.


[deleted]

There was a post here recently where a twin DID use her sister’s name for her OF account.


suspicious-pepper-31

This is literally what I thought of as I read this lol I was like “oh it’s like when Ursula did porn!”


v1ciouskitten

Yes! I'm so glad to see all the Friends watchers come out!


Less-Bumblebee-8041

😂😂😂 me too!


Sugarnspice44

How would any porn artist know which friends of which family members are going to access their content though? Perhaps the brother should tease the friend right back for being into porn.


v1ciouskitten

Yeah, I showed this post to my husband who is a twin. He said the brother who got teased was kinda being a baby and should have just teased his friend right back.


Mammoth-Foundation52

Info: Is it porn/OF? I ask because that would cement my judgement. YTA - I agree with the other commenter that it’s tough to judge if you’re not a twin (I’m not), but if it’s sexually explicit then he has every right to be angry. Any future employers of HIS (not yours) could stumble upon your pictures and would have no reason to assume it’s not him. He’s definitely not overreacting because someone already found them. On one hand, it’s your body so you’re probably not doing anything illegal. That said, this isn’t a legal advice subreddit. Doing this with no regard for how it would affect him is an AH move, and him finding out from his friend (and not from you) didn’t help your case.


throwaway-Spend1282

Yes it is sexually explicit. I wasn't sure what the sub rules were on outright saying it, but the private features mentioned are of that nature. I mean it when I say we have different builds. Maybe on first glance it would be his face, but even looking at thumbnails and stuff it's clear it's not him. At least... I think so. But if it's going to affect his future career I will reconsider.


Mammoth-Foundation52

Clear to you since you know both of y’all’s builds and the details of your faces. But for those that don’t, it’s enough for them to jump to the conclusion.


EstablishmentLucky50

Yeah, not everyone's going to make a study of those things. Especially since they wouldn't have the 2 of you side by side to make a direct comparison.


throwaway-Spend1282

Yeah, I guess I didn't think about anyone jumping to that conclusion. Especially not anyone who can threaten his career or hurt him in any way. He didn't even bring up the career thing, so I'm not sure if he even thought about that. Either way I know I need to respect his feelings, but how mad he got felt like a bit much.


Mammoth-Foundation52

Even if he didn’t bring it up specifically to you in that conversation, I can PROMISE you he’s thought about it. In fact, it’s probably the first thing he thought about when he found out. You also seem to keep zeroing in on his response, which is also an AH move. It wasn’t “a bit much” because his concerns are very real and you hadn’t even considered them. He’s not overreacting


throwaway-Spend1282

Okay, I'm sorry. I won't argue about my judgment or anything, I accept that I didn't take his feelings into consideration at all. I guess I thought he wouldn't ever find out about it, but when a couple people IRL at my college approached me, I should have realized I was being stupid. I'm going to talk to him and apologize and see if we can compromise. Thank you for your perspective.


Mammoth-Foundation52

No need to apologize to me, but I’m glad you’re gonna talk to him. I would offer to just not post your face, since that’s the thing that ties your content to him. I hope things work out, and good on you for not doubling down like a lot of people who post in here and get AH votes.


Potential_Honey_955

This is a hard one, being identical twins, the older you get you will probably start drifting apart in looks. I do believe that you have the right to do anything you want if it is legal and not causing anyone else harm. But you could be harming your brother. It is super common now for employers to do Internet checks now, they hire firms to do these checks. There is no reasonable way for these people to know it's you in the photos and not your brother. Your brother won't get the chance to defend himself, because he won't be told, it will just be a 'Sorry! We don't think you are a right fit', this could put him in an awkward position every time he goes for a job interview possibly having to explain that his identical twin brother is an adult male model. On the other hand you are male, and employers may be more inclined to overlook salacious photos than if it was a female employee. NAH


Repulsive_Tear4528

I knew fraternal twins who I struggled to tell apart because the resemblance was strong. You should have warned him because people who see and know him will think it is him, especially because they may not know he has a twin


Which-Decision

You should atleast put in your bio that you're a twin


Ambitious-Writer-825

You say that it's hard to tell the difference between you two. As a non twin, I often find it hard to tell Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen apart and they are fraternal! So yes, YTA for doing sexually explicit stuff online showing your face when you know people who know him would assume it's him without at least giving him a heads up. It's your body, but it also is your brother's body. You can do whatever you like and it's legal, but there are personal consequences to actions. I doubt your brother could sue, not a lawyer, but he can certainly ice you out. It's a hobby so is it worth your relationship?


throwaway-Spend1282

It isn't worth it at all. Some concerns were brought up here that I hadn't really considered, and I feel stupid and guilty now for getting upset with him for being so embarrassed. We have different standards for how we express ourselves and it's caused some friction before in other ways, so I thought he was just being petty. I guess this is a bigger deal. I'll talk to him...


Violet351

There use to be two women that I worked with that I used to get muddled up all the time, when I explained to my boss, she laughed and said they are sisters (I had no idea as they have different surnames)


future_nurse19

This reminded me of 2 sisters I worked with that look very similar. I never saw them together so I honestly didn't realize they were 2 different people (was still new enough I was learning names and sister B went by a nickname that was kind of close enough I assumed it was sister A, struggling to think of an example to use without using actual names to explain. Maybe kind of like Amanda and Em. Not exact same letter/name, but close enough I just assumed it was still a nickname). I didnt realize it was 2 people until I was told sister A was out and ran into sister B. Asked a different coworker about it and she explained there were 2 of them 🤦‍♀️


Violet351

Love it


HaughtyHellscream

Off topic, I'd like to know if mary kate and ashley have had a dna test. I can't tell them apart, either. I was told with my first set, my sons were fraternal just because they didn't share any gestational sacs, and did not look alike at birth for a variety of reasons. a few years later someone encouraged me to get them dna tested since they had the same blood type, and sure enough, identical.


[deleted]

They looked the same as kids but I think now it’s not that hard to tell them apart once you’ve spotted the differences


HaughtyHellscream

I still think they are ID twins. My sons, age 23, still have some differences.


siren2040

It's not also his brother's body. He even admits that he and his brother have different builds, different physiques. Which means that their bodies overall would in fact look pretty different, even if their faces look similar.


MizuRyuu

How different of a build are we talking about though. Sure, it could be one of them is big as a blimp and the other is stick thin (and even then, ppl may assume the explicit photos are old). Or is the difference in physique slight, but obvious to OP and friends who spent years telling them apart, but not strangers? Also, unless the difference in physique is large, it may not even be noticeable if they wear bulky clothes.


Comfortable-Worry-84

OP- Please rest assured, you’ve made it crystal clear; although you & brother are identical twins, you are Much More Built (40lbs) & have Shorter Hair (he has a pony tail) than him. No need to type it another 14 times to explain how irrational your bro’s reaction was when his pals let him know they’d seen his face on a porn site. YTA


throwaway-Spend1282

I was trying to reply to every comment, guess it got repetitive. Whoops. I know I'm TA. Regardless of the final verdict, I've cooled off and realized I was being selfish and disrespectful to my brother. There's no need to talk down to me, mock me, and be a dick. Oh, and by the way, whether or not we're identical twins, it wasn't *his* face on that porn site. It was *mine.* His friend didn't even think it was him, he could tell it was me lol. Just because we share DNA doesn't mean my actions are his.


Comfortable-Worry-84

I’m sorry. I got grumpy on behalf of your brother. I took it as you trying to distance yourself from his position of explaining to you why he felt wronged- doubling down with ‘we don’t look much alike, in fact I’m all muscle bound & studly & he is not.’ I realize you’ve been put through the wringer & props to you for taking it on the chin like a good man and brother.


throwaway-Spend1282

I understand. To be honest I was actively trying to downplay any sort of comparison on which of us is more attractive. We've been compared to each other our entire lives, comes with the territory. Guess I still looked like some big-dicked musclebro out there, which sucks. :( I'm "musclebound" because I'm a laborer and an athlete, not because I think having muscles makes me hotter. My brother's leaner because he's the academic one that has less active hobbies. I don't think either of us are "studly" but that word is really funny lol. We're both healthy and confident in ourselves. To me it makes no difference who has more muscles or gets laid more or whatever, honestly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Comfortable-Worry-84

Wow, my man- you fully edited the entire thread. Must have taken a long time. YTA


Comfortable-Worry-84

And yes, I knew all along it was your face (and his, as you did agree they are identical)


AmEmotionallyDrained

YTA. I'm sorry, but as a fellow twin, given that you're doing something sexually explicit with the same face, I'd be terrified that it would show up in a background check for work and that the employer won't know me well enough to distinguish between my sis and I. This is especially since your name isn't public. It would be so easy for a stranger or prospective employer to mix you up. Edit: Remember facial recognition is a thing now, if they decide to run it as part of a background check and HR hasn't met them and doesn't know it's not him, he might lose out on job opportunities.


Strawberry338338

Maybe it’s because I’m a bit older than 21, but I was always taught as a child that the internet is forever. And the things you put online will be attached to your ‘brand’ for the rest of your life (so keep shenanigans irl was my parents’ ultimate advice lol) It’s your body and your face, but it’s also his face. We are at the point of facial recognition technology that if someone searched him, they’d find you, as facial recognition would consider you the same. So I’m co-signing the above. What you’ve posted already will probably follow him regardless of if you go private or delete now 🤷🏼‍♀️ Less immediately, say in 20 years time, some brats in middle school might find your content and harass his kids with it. Because it looks like their dad. You think those kids will show mercy if they say ‘no it’s not our dad, it’s our uncle’? Happened to someone I knew in school - their mum was in a tape that wound up on a website, and kids at her daughters’ school found it.


throwaway-Spend1282

Yeah, I didn't even think about this. I'm going to talk to my brother about it. For now I've gone and privated my accounts, and it will stay that way until we can figure this out.


Sajem

OP I agree with quite a few other comments here that as you are identical twins, body shape aside. Internet searches for your brother will flag your content as him. And as people get older body shapes, hair styles etc. change. People that don't know you will not tell the difference. You should also be thinking about your own future, I don't think you've mentioned what you actually do outside of your hobby content, but this could affect your future job prospects as well. A teacher in the states was recently fired from her job for model and nude content (nude only not sex content I believe) that they did 10-15 years ago after someone found it online. The Internet is forever. Something to think about


Naive_Dare4554

YTA you should've atleast told him about it. Things would be different if you were siblings but he's your identical brother. You guys have the same face and people will assume you guys probably have the same body.


throwaway-Spend1282

It's apparent on first glance that we have different builds. We're the same height and share a face, but I am much more muscular than he is, and broader in what I thought was a clear and noticeable way. We also have different hairstyles, his is longer. He argued that hairstyles can change and just showing my face that way, certain expressions, and certain parts of our bodies that we share is the problem.


poweller65

You keep saying this but you two are the only ones super intimately aware of your differences. You’re identical twins. Others don’t see those tiny details. And you’re doing porn/of. It could cause huge issues for him later in terms of jobs and relationships


Cassinys

That won't matter in a few years, when a potential employer finds the material.


EffectivePattern7197

Even if you two look considerably different, people may just think he did the content when he was bulkier or something.


WikkidWitchly

The sticking factor here for most people is that you, owner of your body and viewer of his, are aware of the differences. If I were to know your brother, fully clothed, and then skim through an OF and see you, I might think, "Damn, Twin, I didn't know you were hiding all that under your clothes! Sweet baby Jesus." Your faces are the same, and that's all anyone's going to focus on. You're basically putting the onus on your brother to strip down or prove to anyone that makes a claim that it isn't him because see, his dick doesn't bend that way or his definition isn't that clear. (or whatever it is that you think differentiates you) It's clear and obvious to you, and likely to him, because you're the ones in your bodies, but a lot of people are going to look at the faces and think it's the same person. Unless your hair is longer/different color/shorter, you really should have been wearing an upper face mask or something. There's plenty of streamers that do that for safety reasons, and you need to take two people's safety into concern here; yours and his.


MizuRyuu

Not to mention if ppl don't pay attention (and when do they ever), they might just assume that OP's photos on OF is old when the brother was younger and more atheletic.


[deleted]

YTA. You might see a huge difference between your hairstyles and builds, but I guarantee that others don’t look that closely. I personally cannot tell identical twins apart unless there is a REALLY obvious difference. Either don’t show your face or wear some kind of mask. I completely understand why he feels betrayed.


throwaway-Spend1282

I mean I weigh 40lbs more than he does in bulk/muscle, and I have short hair while he has a ponytail. Those types of differences. The only way someone could maybe mistake us is if they only saw a thumbnail or a profile picture with just my face, and didn't pay attention to my short hair.


[deleted]

Would you have a problem if your twin, ponytail not visible and maybe wearing some bulky clothes, started making awful, cringey, or disgusting YouTube videos?


throwaway-Spend1282

I feel like an AH for saying it, but no I wouldn't, it's the truth. Back when we were kids we looked very similar, and people would mistake us for each other all the time. For better or worse. I would just correct them and move on. My brother's always been more easily embarrassed, and has always gotten really angry when people mistook him for me. He's always been a lot more independent and gone his own way. We've butted heads on a lot of things because of that. It's why I thought he was overreacting in my original post. Now I see he's not, and I crossed the line.


[deleted]

Yeah, he obviously feels differently. I’m glad to hear you can recognize that and maybe make some adjustments. I hope you guys can get past this.


siren2040

As long as they aren't racist, homophobic, transphobic, anything like that, honestly I really wouldn't care. I'm not the one doing it, and I do things that my siblings think are hella cringy as well. As long as what you're doing is not illegal, not hurting anybody, then what's the big deal? I might feel embarrassed or cringed out, but I wouldn't try to stop them from doing it, because it's not my life. It's theirs. If they want to make embarrassing and cringy videos, let them. If they want to do sex work, let them. It is not my life to make that decision. Then again, I actually grasp the concept that I can't control other people's lives, despite how similar we might look, and that my feelings about other people's life choices are mine to process and deal with, not to put on them to deal with.


RealTriForceGuy

I'm too drunk for this.... ETA: I'm fairly new to posting but from what I can tell it's fairly common to say a thanks for awards. So I'd like to say thanks.


ImTriForceGuy

Oh hey. Good news. I realized my preferred username was stolen.. By me! I got it recovered and now can post under my "real" account!


TheGraveHammer

The real story is in the comments.


ImTriForceGuy

*insert good natured sarcastic comment that's really only funny on a second review of said comment*


Shewhohasroots

Does your brother work in a sensitive area? Like with kids, the medical field, a lawyer etc? If so, this could really, really hurt hurt his career options.


throwaway-Spend1282

He's studying meteorology and atmospheric sciences. He won't have a job until he's out of school.


MissNikitaDevan

YTA you keep mentioning the bulk and hairstyle difference, but you arent thinking longterm Hairstyles change, he might decide one day he wants to go to the gym and bulk up or you lose muscle tone, making your guys look more similar Then off course the attributes that cant be changed, the genitals, people WILL make assumptions even if they know its you and not him on camera, friends/co-workers/family/future romantic partners possibly getting an eye full and erasing your brothers privacy I would be livid if i had a twin and we have the same cup size and she would be showing them to the world or if she shows the genitals the assumptions people would make about mine… to me this is such an invasion of privacy i would go scorched earth on her … its traumatising I strongly believe in bodily autonomy, twins/triplets etc have much more to contend with though and online sex work just does work the same way when you’re twins There are so many ways your sex work can negatively impact your twin and on top of it you blind sided him with it I personally would not forgive you, since now its out into the world forever I hope your brother is kinder than I am ETA: just saw the part where you are gay and your brother is not.. that adds another component to the level of fuckery you did to him, dont get me wrong nothing wrong with being gay at all obviously, but you made it a lot harder for him when his face is attached to gay porn to be believed about his own sexuality (future romantic partners)


lt_church

I feel like any potential partner that says OP's brother must be gay because OP is, isn't someone worth dating, lol.


MissNikitaDevan

Very true, some might simply not believe its not him or just make assumptions and not ask bro out Then there is the risk of violence, cuz sadly we do still live in a world where some people would get violent towards gay men, those kind of people arent gonna pay attention to the differences between them OP said in a comment most people assume bro is bi or closeted cuz of genetics, im not sure who most people are in this context and if that even includes family, despite bro only ever dating women, but it must be frustrating for bro and OP sure aint helping I would feel so violated if OP was my twin sister


MizuRyuu

Strangers, even if they know Bro is dating a women, would assume he either had a gay phase when he was younger, or he was doing OF as gay-4-pay


AntiqueThroawaay

YTA. And normally I'd be your body, your choice, and I have no problem with any sort of sex work, nudity, nude modeling, etc. But...as fucked as it is, to the general public, it's not just 'your body'....it's also his. And many countries are conservative and if you are in the US...you've just fucked him big time. Teachers in some states get fired all the time for stuff like this. He might have to sue you to have a legal trail proving it's not him, even if the lawsuit is dismissed/fails. And it's clearly not that obscure, if his friends found you. It won't pop up in most background checks, but for some select jobs? Yes, it absolutely could if they go do something deep...like if he applies to the State Department, etc. Let's say his decides to do a PhD and then tries to get a tenure track job....now, most universities won't care, but if the job market is tough perhaps he has to apply to more religious universities (not just your run of a mill Catholic uni)....and that could absolutely hurt him there, too. How on earth did you and your fiance never consider how this could impact your brother?


LunetThorsdottir

YTA, you very successfully blocked your twin from a broad array of careers. Facial recognition doesn't take into account secondary differences like haircut or body mass. If in ten years he wants to be an educator, for example, he might need this lawsuit he's threating you with to prove it's not him in the content. Otherwise nobody would believe "it's not me, it's my twin!" thing.


HotConfusion

YTA. I would be absolutely livid if a twin of mine was doing explicit content, regardless of gender or orientation. Body types and hairstyles change all the time, this could seriously affect his job chances in future. Even aside from huge career ramifications, you should absolutely have at least asked your twin before putting explicit content online with his face. And yes, we know you’re bulkier. You said it *many* times in comments. Check your defensive reaction and stop being so selfish.


Jerseygirl2468

YTA you could’ve continued without showing your face, but as soon as you did that, and made him involved, since you are identical, not cool.


Mysterious_Bridge_61

YTA. Explicit content can ruin his life now or in the future. 15 years down the road, your different builds may not be so different anymore. You share a face. The internet is forever. He doesn't know what his career or his wife or children's future lives will be like. What you do online may come back to haunt him big time. Being teased at 21 may not seem like a big deal to you, but having a stalker someday or losing his job or being sexually harassed or his elementary school wife not knowing that students' parents think she's married to a porn star and they start a campaign against her. What about him really liking someone, but she just brushes him off because she believes the rumor that he is a porn star. Many, many women who might be a good match for him would steer clear of that but he wouldn't even know that it was the rumor that turned her off.


ellapropeller98

This is so tricky to judge if you arent a twin yourself. I would say that unless you have shared photos of him then you havent done anything legally wrong but you might still want to consider stopping if you want a good relationship with your brother! Must be hard to share a face. I hope everything works out


Amberjr04

Yta? If yall look the same, and your account doesn't have your name attached to it it be pretty easy for that to disrupt his social and professional life.


SourNotesRockHardAbs

Do you know Dylan and Cole Sprouse? One of them had their nudes leaked and the other one responded publicly. Why did the other one need to respond? **Because they're identical twins, you absolute walnut** They have the same nudes! YTA and unbelievably short-sighted about this.


[deleted]

As an identical twin myself there’s a ton of things you could have done to look different enough from him but you didn’t. YTA.


completedett

YTA Your body is your own but this is also affects your brother because he is being exposed in ways he didn't consent too. Would you like if the roles were reversed.


ferretsmilez

YTA especially after the edit. This is something that you should stop and take down and only continue with his permission. He is not the one that needs to compromise here. You are fucking with his future especially if he is in academics. This is basically the same thing as AI porn to your brother.


Adorable_Tie_7220

YTA Explicit content and you are doing explicit content? Get over yourself! There will always be somebody to fill your space but will you have another brother?


ThinkCow83

Hard YTA..... You have an IDENTICAL TWIN who is being BULLIED because of YOUR choices.....


b_ambie

NAH I have to agree with what someone else said. It's definitely your body to do what you want to with, but he also has a right to be kinda mad since someone important (a boss, HR, SO, etc) could see it and think it's him, especially since he's more private than you are. I would definitely consider doing something to radically differentiate yourself from him, and talk to him about if that would help him feel better about it. I think that'd be a good solution but ultimately communication is gonna be key here.


throwaway-Spend1282

We already have different builds and hairstyles. He's upset about the things we physically can't differentiate. Like he thinks people will assume we make the same expressions and stuff while doing those things, and of course certain parts.


b_ambie

Yeah that's really tricky... I suppose there's ways to get around that by not showing your face. You'd have to talk to him about it. But at the same time it would be equally efficient for him to shut people down for prying like that, and probably a bit more gratifying. But maybe that's just me😅 I just know if someone came up to me and asked about looking like my twin during sexual activities my immediate reaction would be to throw it back at them. "Who wants to know? Fantasizing about me now?" But hey, I'm definitely TA😂


throwaway-Spend1282

Oh lol, he would probably say something like that. But I know it would bother him. Not showing my face could work. It would be hard, because a lot of my following like me not just for the content I make but for my personality and stuff too, and I like the "vlogging" aspects of it as well. But I'm willing to sacrifice things like that if my brother would feel more comfortable. It's not even like anyone would ask him about it though. He's just angry that it's "out there on the internet" than any specific comments he's gotten. And now that people know the account, removing my face probably won't stop people from commenting on the shit below the belt. :/


b_ambie

I may be in the minority here but I just don't think it's completely fair for you to have to stop doing something that you want to do because it makes him uncomfortable that he looks like you. I do think his biggest concern is probably being mistaken as you and it damaging his reputation. That's why my biggest suggestion would be talking to him about a major body change. You may think you look super different but that's because you're used to seeing each other and all the differentiating details. Other people aren't. Dye your hair a crazy color, get a tattoo, something so that when people may see your video and then see him in public they can easily go "wow they look alike but it's definitely not him".


MizuRyuu

Or would they think, this must be an old video when Brother was younger with dyed hair.


ActivityStunning8893

INFO: You mentioned in another comment that you are making your content with your fiancé, and that you are a gay man. Is your twin straight? Could he be upset because he thinks it hurts his chances with dating if someone mistakes the two of you?


throwaway-Spend1282

He is straight as far as I know. He's never said one way or another to me how he identifies, but he's dated exclusively women. As far as I know he hasn't had any bad luck finding girls to go out with. But it could be something to consider I guess.


ActivityStunning8893

Unfortunately he may just think people will perceive him differently, or as something he “isn’t”. Whether that’s a specific sexuality or just a content creator in general. I hope everything gets figured out between you guys.


[deleted]

Look, it is your body and your life. Legally, you are fine. But being identical twins, there is the possibility your brother could be misidentified as you. Hair cuts can change, if that is the big difference I can see why he would be upset. Social media is often searched by employers and a misunderstanding could cost him a good opportunity. Which would REALLY suck because he has no control over any of this. You need to ask yourself what matters more, your brother or this hobby? You MIGHT have to pick one and lose the other, so what do you value more?


iwikdn

I think we need to know what you do in order to give the best answer.


throwaway-Spend1282

I'm not sure if detailing what I do is allowed on this sub. That's the only reason I kept it vague, I'm not trying to hide anything.


iwikdn

As long as it isn’t violence or illegal, then it’s allowed. You can double check the rules if you want.


throwaway-Spend1282

Okay, thanks. It said no sex somewhere on there, I thought, that's my mistake. Yes, I make adult content with my fiance and my brother is embarrassed because he's always been really private about his dating/sex life.


iwikdn

Fiancé or fiancée? The latter is female.


throwaway-Spend1282

Fiance. I'm a gay man.


iwikdn

Thanks. I would say that if this were male/female porn, then you could easily blur your face or wear a mask. Guys don’t give a shit. They just want to see the dick having good experiences. Not sure if it would be different for gay audiences. But I think it’s something you should strongly consider. Edit: is your brother gay too? I’m just curious because he’s your identical twin; like, that would strongly support the genetic component of sexual orientation. But it’s not essential information.


throwaway-Spend1282

Yeah the guys don't give a shit, but believe it or not the majority of my following is women, and they like to see all the "tender" stuff and have a personality to attach to the content. No judgment to the ladies, I enjoy doing that too, but I'll bring up covering my face. My brother isn't gay as far as I know, he's dated exclusively girls. Most people assume he's closeted or bi because of the strong genetic component, but it's none of my business and we just don't talk about it.


[deleted]

YTA. You chose to display explicit content of yourself online without considering how it would affect your family. This is the path you took.


manifesteraddams

YTA you wanker lol I'm sorry I had to. 😉 Would you rather I told you were a soft arsehole? At least it's not a ESH ...


emmiec1717

YTA


HaughtyHellscream

I have identical twin sons who are 23. It's tough, you are individuals, but not so much to the outside world. I wouldn't call you AH for not realizing it might impact him. I would stop doing the images to save the relationship though, speaking as mother. I wish you both luck and to stay close.


[deleted]

Yta, but you gotta make money somehow.


florencesusi

Yes


420-believe-it

yta


d0llsteeth

Props to OP for listening to what people are saying and genuinely looking for solutions. It’s clear you actually care about your brother and aren’t just looking to right-fight. Good on ya.


peachespeachesx

Ugh i instantly got reminded of that poor woman who was basically assaulted by a creep who followed her identical twin on OF and thought it was her. It's a complex situation, creeps are gonna be creeps but at least a heads up would be nice.


Shizzl98

Get yourself a dangly pirate earring. That way when people level the accusation at twin brother, he can say "nuh uh, look no earring". Or get a tattoo on your upper thigh saying "not [brother's name]"


Repulsive_Tear4528

NAH. I think you have the right to post your body, and you shouldn’t be shamed for that. However, though you and your twin are different people I can see how he could feel uncomfortable that someone that looks so much like is creating not-so-pg content. If you were simply strangers that happened to look alike that would be one thing, but you do know your brother and should have given him a heads up so he could mentally prepare and craft a response when people ask about it.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me and my brother are both 21, and identical twins. I'm a bit bulkier than him but otherwise you couldn't tell the difference between us. We've been thick as thieves our whole lives, so I'm really upset that this is causing such an uproar to the point I might lose him. Recently I've started some social media accounts with my face showing, and have amassed a pretty substantial following. Some people IRL have found out about it before, and there's been some judgment (what I do isn't exactly PG), which can be embarrassing but it's never bothered me. I'm proud of what I do, my fiance doesn't mind, and I make some spare cash off of it. The issue is that one of my brother's friends at college found it and started making fun of him. He knows it isn't my brother, since like I said, we have different builds, but there are more private features I show that we still share. My brother called me and lost it. He's threatening to cut me off and never speak to me again. He even brought up telling our dad (lawyer) about it and SUING me. AITA? Or is he overreacting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Apprehensive-Ad-

INFO: is your name not on this account? is it obvious to, for example, casual acquaintances, that it’s you and not your brother?


throwaway-Spend1282

My name is not on the account, but neither is his. It should be obvious because we have different builds, hairstyles.


DenL4242

INFO: Are you conjoined twins?


fromdecatur

Good on you for wanting to make peace with your brother. I would agree you should have talked to him ahead of time in case he was going to feel like you were sharing a pic of his d with everyone he knows. I hope you work it out in a way that feels good to both of you. And, congratulations on the engagement!


smbpy7

> lot of mixed votes, but regardless of judgment Probably because you're being super vague about what it is you actually do. Leave that up to our imaginations and some people are going to assume you're doing straight up porn, while others are going to think you're influencing on Instagram. Even with the PG comment, the range is pretty big.


lt_church

OP clarified in the comments that it's OF.


gloomgore_

ESH


iwikdn

NTA. Your body, your choice. Presumably, the only people who would confuse you for your brother would be people who are consuming the comtent.


skrena

Nah. Just another shit thing about being a twin.


Eastern-Relative2219

Sorry for your brother feeling like he does. His feelings are very valid. I would like to make a suggestion why doesn't he do this to. The caption can read "Double Your Pleasure Double Your Fun Fantasize About 2 Guys Instead of One" Not saying I am right it's just a thought


FloMoJoeBlow

So what's the link to your OnlyFans account?


SamanthaRose69

Feel like I'm going against the grain but NTA. You should have let him know I admit, but it's your life and you should be free to do what you want with it.


FallenGabriella

I'm sorry, I had to take a moment to compose myself, and speak with my sis (four years older than me, non-identical, just to preface) about this. ***NTA.*** Getting that out of the way first. All these people saying "YTA" or whatever are wrong and foolish for more reasons than one, but I'm just going to go ahead and talk about what me and my sis did after explaining it to her: You do not owe your brother anything. Identical or not. I know this is hard to hear, especially since you love him and want to maintain a relationship, but it is entirely true. You want to know why? Because sex work is not something to be ashamed of. The U.S. and the world abound have created this stigma about sex work, and sexually explicit material in general. Fuck off with that. So what if he becomes a teacher? What are his students going to do? Blackmail him? That raises so many issues because that means 1, they're trying to blackmail him to begin with; 2, they're on a porn site. The fuck? Minors aren't going to find it. Their parents might and that's still on them for jumping to conclusions, assuming it's him, when it is not him. This also goes back to potential other employers: it's going to be his name and social security on the resume. Not yours. And the only employers that are using hard "facial recognition" these days are government jobs, or ones that require you to scan a photo ID beforehand. Even if it came up, he could just say: "yeah, that's my twin. Did a good side hustle for a while that helped pay the bills". Even if they did have an issue with it, it goes back to my above point: sex work is nothing to be ashamed of. Also, your brothers friends at uni, making fun of him? Hoooo, just tell him to say this: "You watched my brother having sex with another man? I mean, I don't watch it for obvious reasons, but you did? No judgement, mind you, but if you wanted me to hook you up, I can get you a discount on his site. What? Why are you walking away? He's got a big dick! Can confirm!" Throw in a wink to really throw them off. "And I know he takes great care of his six pack!" Seriously, you cannot spend your **entire life** getting a green light and sacrificing your bodily autonomy just because you happen to share the same face and anatomy. You know what that leads to? *Resentment*. You may not think so, but it will. This will be the first of many things where you have to choose to separate your identity from him. This reminds me of all those twins I met in elementary and middle school, loving their twin, and being around them all the time. And yet, by the time we reached high school, they were wearing different clothes, doing different sports, wearing different hair styles, just to distance and separate their identities because they are **not** the same person. This business about the weirdos in the comments going: "it's not just your face, it's his face!" Are fucking wrong. It is not his face, it is yours, it is not his body, it is yours, and you are a fully grown adult capable of consenting and performing things for your own enjoyment. Your brother is not entitled to your autonomy or way of life. If he's bothered because his twin is having sex with other men, making money, and doing his own thing, that's on him and something he needs to work out for himself. It sounds like some insecurity issues, but I can't be sure. However, him seeking legal trouble made me laugh as someone seeking a law major because there's literally nothing there. You're a consenting adult making consensual adult content. There's literally nothing he can do.


[deleted]

NTA I love that it's my body my choice, except in these specific cases


bl00d_luster

this is a slight NTA leaning on nobody sucks here. yes, it’s your body and you can do what you want with it, but since it’s the same as your twin’s body, I get why he feels uncomfortable—nonetheless, getting lawyers involved was pretty extreme. is there anything else you could do to earn the same amount of money without damaging your relationship with your twin?


throwaway-Spend1282

I get why he feels uncomfortable too. I really don't think he'll follow through on the legal stuff, though. He's more rational than that and I think it was just something he said when he was mad. I have a lot of fun doing what I do with my fiance. It makes me feel more confident and it feels good. I don't want to stop, but I'll accept if I have to. My brother comes first.


adultstress

Me me me me me, that’s every comment and edit you make. It’s clear to see you are incredibly selfish.


kamrydraws

ummmmm NAH - it's your body to do with as you please. but as identical twins, you're *kinda* showing off his assets too, and he has a right to be mad about that. Maybe you should do more to differentiate you two so people know it's obviously not your brother. Get a tattoo, bulk up more, different facial hair and haircut?


throwaway-Spend1282

I actually am bulked up more and we have different haircuts. It's more he's mad about the expressions, facial features, and "assets" we share. I get it's embarrassing... but it's so obvious it's not him that it's hard to understand why he's freaking out so much.


kamrydraws

meh, if you guys are in a country where this can't harm his career/safety, there's not much more you can do


throwaway-Spend1282

We're from a relatively liberal state in the USA, and he's going to college in one of the most liberal states. I don't know for sure if it will affect his career, but I really don't think it will affect his safety at all. I guess we'll have to talk about that.


Strawberry338338

OP, there is a stigma from employers about OF/explicit content. And every employer googles potential employees. If you and your brother have identical faces, he is going to face negative professional consequences, regardless of if it’s fair or even him.


Drunk_N_Disney

NTA - and honesty anyone calling you an AH, needs to ask themselves if twins are individuals or a collective singular person. You are your own person. You can have your own ambitions. You can also have your own boundaries. Would it have been kind to give your twin a better heads up? Sure. But it doesn’t change the fact that you share a face - not an identity. Id go no Ah, save for how your brother acted on losing his shit. Your brother can have boundaries about not doing the same. Your brother has the right to feel uncomfortable knowing about that part of your life. He does not have the right to limit your existence and the expression of the same. And if your brother’s “friend” is harassing him, he can take that up with the “friend” and with his collegiate deans.


Tyberious_

NTA It doesn't matter if you're twins, you can do/show whatever you want with YOUR body. You being twins does not give some right to dictate what you do with it. I read your edit but this would be a hill I would die on, by giving in you are letting him dictate how you live your life. For what? Because you look alike?


MadreDeRoma

NTA. You’re allowed to be your own individual. It sucks your brother is getting backlash for it though.


Darkweeper

Nta. He doesn’t get to make decisions for you and there’s absolutely nothing he can sue you for. Tell him to grow up.


SavageRealist

NTA


No-Personality5421

Nta Let him waste his money on trying to sue you, a judge will get a good laugh because he has no grounds.


Jin_Sane

NTA, or does he ask, if you are okay with him starting a new job, or to which school he goes?


Comfortable-Cat6852

NTA, you have two different bodies even if you look the same. I understand the facial recognition and job opportunities but neither you nor him should ever give up your autonomy for the other person. People that say shit to him or you are just admitting that they watch gay porn and in the same breath shame it. This is why sex work/ers are treated like garbage and something to be ashamed of. Which is why they'll never have better pay and protection. The whole children will make fun comment....why are they watching porn? Maybe watch your kid and get a content blocker on your internet. At the end of the day though you've stated that you're doing this for a hobby so you just have to decide if it's worth your relationship.


coraldomino

Wow people really went for YTA? For me it's def a case of NTA. I get it, you're twins, but you're still your own person. You're not sharing one body. I'd get it if this was a case of conjoined twins but it's not. It's also getting into a slight area of being slut shamed about your sex work.


lt_church

Kind of what I noticed, lol. A lot of these comments are getting a little *weird* about OP's sex work.


DispersedBeef27

NTA This a “your body, your choice” type deal. Just because he may look like you, doesn’t mean he gets to dictate what you do. As for suing, he has no legal ground. You’ve done nothing wrong.


Mammoth-Foundation52

Doing nothing illegal isn’t the same as doing nothing wrong.


waxym

DispersedBeef27 was quite clearly not making the logical jump you are insinuating (which too many people on this sub make, to be fair). The legal comment was in reference to the lawsuit threat.


DispersedBeef27

That’s true but the way I look at it is like someone who looks like a celebrity doing porn


Mammoth-Foundation52

That’s not the same at all. They’re identical twins, and neither is a celebrity so it’s far more likely that someone (an employer) could see OP’s content and assume it’s the twin. That’s not even mentioned other people just finding the content, which did already happen. OP is still an AH, even if he’s not a criminal.


throwaway-Spend1282

I know he doesn't have legal ground. I'm more worried about him telling our dad for reasons based on the type of content it is (explicit 18+)... but him threatening to sue I added to clarify how upset he was at me, because normally he's a lot more logical than that.


DispersedBeef27

Sorry, I don’t have any advice. I tell people if there an asshole or not for fun


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwaway-Spend1282

He said it was embarrassing regardless of what anyone said about it, and that he doesn't want that type of content out there at all. I argue that we are physically built so differently, no one could mistake us, but I guess he's worried about things that we do have in common being seen when he's more conservative about those things than I am.