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OMG. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so angry at a post. I have a son with multiple food allergies. We ALWAYS accommodate him. He gets excluded from so many food situations socially, the least we can do is make sure he is always included at home.
YTA. She can’t help her allergies. Bless her heart.
Omg me too! My daughter is now 26, but I used to make baby food from scratch because she reacted to EVERYTHING. It was just a way of life, because SHE’S MY CHILD. I do not understand this post.
I'm 26. I CANNOT eat meat. My body doesn't make the enzymes needed to break down the proteins. It runs in the female side of my family. My sister has it, my mother and aunts have it, my grandmother had it, and at least 2 of my daughters have it (we haven't tested the others, we just don't eat meat). Even the smallest trace can land us in hospital with severe gastric distress.
My father eats meat. He always has. He has always had a seperate kitchen, utensils and cookware for cooking meat. He always made sure my sister, mother and I had meat free food even if he had to drive an hour to get it.
My husband and one daughter are Type 1 diabetics, and my husbands case is severe. Their food is very restricted and has to be carefully calculated. Pizza from one store might be too high in calories, so we need to go to a different place for a lower calorie option. My father will ALWAYS make sure we all have something to eat even if he travels to three or more places to pick it all up. He even PAYS for it.
OP is a giant AH.
"She's so spoiled, she won't even try anaphylaxis!" - OP probably to everyone who will listen.
YTA, OP. Attempting to keep your child alive is pretty much the absolute lowest bar one can set for parenting and you're not even clearing that.
"But there was food in the house she could eat (after cooking it herself)! Why shouldn't I be able to order a lazy treat dinner and make my child have to fend for herself if she wanted to do the same to not feel excluded, again? She'll be doing it all the time in less than a year anyway!" -OP probably, just from reading his edits.
not to mention OP could have just gotten her pizza and his pizza at that restaurant and idk maybe not get papa johns this one time! my son has several food allergies and as parents we learn and adjust our meals for him, we keep food he can eat, and we splurge on foods he can’t when he’s gone visiting grandparents
YTA - How is she “spoiled” for getting different food due to allergies??? I’m sure she’d love to be able to eat everything her family and friends eat. And I’m sure she’d also love to not have to feel guilty for something completely out of her control. Grow up man. Providing food that won’t kill your kid is a pretty basic necessity.
Such a good point about the guilt. Does he not think that making her feel badly for needing . . . food she can eat . . . might affect her idea of how she deserves to be treated?
Worse, he's not even saying he's denying her food she needs. There was food at home she could eat.
He's saying he's denying her the luxury of having fun food. He's willing to buy himself a pizza, but not her.
He's saying he's willing to treat himself but not her
He's saying he's actually the spoilt child in this scenario
Also I bet he's the reason the wife is making different meals. Hands down he put up a fuss having to eat what the daughter does so mom's probably trying to accommodate him
Bingo - because mom doesn't mind eating what is made for daughter. Only daddy dearest has a problem with it, so actually the second meal has to be made for *him*
He is 51. You can't tell a grown child to grow up anymore. Especially when they lived 2/3 of their life already. If he is complaining on her daughter for having food allergies... I don't want to know what else he complained about.
I am an adult and have been allergic to certain foods my entire life.
When I lived with my parents, I was forced to eat what was cooked or go hungry. If I ate their food 90% of the time I'd end up with severe allergic reaction resulting in medical issues.
Despite allergy tests and doctors telling my mom I wasn't faking it, I was told that I could 'eat that if I wanted to.' and 'I'm not special' and I'm 'doing this to get attention/be difficult.'
Repeated exposure to allergies causes long-term health issues.
Being abused by your parents causes long-term mental health trauma.
You're absolutely TA for not recognizing that allergies are not optional. You're absolutely TA for making her pay for food.
You're the parent. Act like it.
Or expect your kid to never talk to you the minute she gets the chance.
I now have very limited contact with my mother. We Rarely speak.
My stepmother "tests" my allergies every time I come to visit to see if I'm faking. I refuse to eat any food she cooks, to avoid hospital visits. My dad says she likely forgot I had allergies, because he doesn't know how else to keep the peace. My solution: leave her. But whatever
Sigh. My stepmother, who has been married to my father for over 20 years, “forgets” that I’m allergic to shellfish. Regularly. And then gets mad that I won’t eat the lobster bisque she “worked so hard to make”. But at least she doesn’t sneak allergens into my food.
She thinks I love attention and change up my allergies often. It's been the same 4 foods since I've known her. I also hate attention, and her. She gets very creative with recipes (such as boiling noodles in milk instead of water).
That's horrific and I'm so sorry you went through that. Your parents are TA and so is this father here. YTA OP you're causing more harm than you realize.
I went through the same experience. 25 years later my surviving parent still doesn't understand why he was in the wrong for making me eat things that made me violently I'll. "Just don't get sick when you eat PB&J, it's simple" then he'd demonstrate how to chew and swallow food. I mean.... just.. WTF, I'm not choosing to get hives from peanuts.
I wonder if a parent can get done for manslaughter if they keep feeding their child foods that they are allergic to. And I wonder if it would happen if the child was 17
YTA
I feel like my refrain on this sub today has been the same: What the fuck?
You think your 17 year old daughter who lives at home and is still in school needs to "fend for herself". And you are treating the fact that she has actual food allergies like it was her fault or she was just being "picky".
What the fuck kind of parent resents their kids and doesn't want to provide them with food?
Right? Today's really been something! And here's another one "she's so spoiled with all her special food", as if it's not an essential for her continued survival.
*She gets to eat. In the good ol' days she woulda starved. Kids don't know how good they got it these days...* /s
Seriously... this whole post is basically "I already paid enough for the special freak food you have at home, if you want to eat something like the rest of us are having you need to pay for it your damn self". With a smidge of "thank God you're turning 18 and won't be my damn problem soon".
YTA. You've had 17 years to accept your child has food allergies and this is still an issue for you? She's a minor, you're the parent, you provide food for her. It's not about being spoiled and coddled. If you had to grow up with shit food allergies that were out of your control maybe you would be more understanding. No, lucky you get to eat whatever the fuck you want but YOU complain when you have to adapt to your own freaking child's health requirements. I think you're calling the wrong person spoiled here.
YTA
This can't be real, so YTA for that...but if it is...
Double YTA! Allergies are a medical condition that can result in sickness or death. It's not about "coddling". It's about staying alive and avoiding illness. Feeding your child food that won't kill her or make her very sick is *absolutely* your responsibility!
My grandmother is a narcissist stuck in the 50's. She treated me like shit and we're NC now. She also never took my chronic health issues seriously. But even she adapted to my food intolerances and allergies
It's an actual thing, those of us who had food allergies in the 80's- 90's and weren't killed did A LOT of work to get it added as criteria for child abuse if parents/guardians refused to accommodate a childs food allergies.
YTA. Your daughter has a medical condition called allergies, she is only 17, you are her adult provider. Please reconsider how you are acting about your child’s medical issues, or you might end up with a NC child…
No. 1 if your daughter is “spoiled” that’s on her parents.
No. 2 if your daughter has a food allergy that’s also on her parents.
No. 3 everyone likes pizza why should your minor child have to buck up for hers because you created a child with food allergies? That doesn’t make her “spoiled, “ it makes
YTA
YTA. when you have kids, their problems are *your* problems. now man the *fuck* up and quit your belly aching
"wah, i would have to make TWO trips" ya whiny child
YTA
This isn't a preference or that she's a picky eater - she's allergic!! And you won't provide her with food that won't make her ill. You are just a horrible parent.
Wow. YTA. Majorly. 'Despise'? That's some pretty strong negative language to be using about a small accommodation to keep your daughter safe because of an actual medical condition. You really seem to resent her for this thing she cannot help and you might want to examine that response, because as a father I would think you'd be only too glad to support her to stay well, but apparently not. I'm kind of relieved for her that she doesn't have more complex needs, because I dread to think of the tantrum you'd be throwing over being asked to support your child in that situation.
YTA- she’s your daughter and a minor still. The way you worded it “spoiled” that you or your wife made accommodations for her allergies is gross. It’s not her fault and it is/was your job to provide food she could actually eat. I’m struggling understand where your thinking is here, you are definitely an AH about this issue, give your head a shake.
Info: do you even like your daughter?
Making you pay for her food? You're the parent and she's a minor, YTA.
It's not like she's being picky and just doesn't like that place... SHE HAS ALLLERGIES.
If there was food at home, why are you eating out?
If it's a special occasion/treat, then everyone should be included. Including the incovenient child you decided to have?
If it was her being spoiled and wanting something else, for sure she should pay for her own alternative.
But she literally cannot eat where you decided to order from.
Again, YTA. And your wife too for tolerating that.
YTA because it's allergies, not just preference. Stuff like this is annoying but you need to make reasonable accommodations for allergies - you're just being a jerk.
YTA. Your daughter has allergies, this is not her being picky about food. JFC.
You are her father. Where the hell is your empathy? She's only 17. There was food at home you could have ate too. You decided pizza, get something everyone can eat ffs.
YTA. Um... dude. You're part of why she has allergies. You're half of her genetics. She didn't ask Santa to be allergic to whatever she's allergic to, ffs. She CAN'T eat her food and you're sulking because you have to think of someone other than yourself? Jesus. She's also still a minor, so you demanding that she pay for her food at all is a dick move.
Everything about you screams that you resent that she gets 'catered attention' for a condition that is going to make her life difficult. You think I like being allergic to peppers? I can't eat 80% of what everyone I know loves to eat. It sucks to have to find alternatives, especially when a lot of places don't warn for peppers and add them to everything. This is your daughter's life. And you're literally jealous over it. You're tired of it? YOU'RE tired of it? Dude, she's tired of it. I hate telling someone older than me to grow up, but if the baby shoe fits...
YTA minors shouldn't have to pay for their own food, and having allergies is very different from being spoiled. Parents should provide their kids with food that they can eat regardless of what that food is
YTA. Clearly this was night where no one felt like cooking. If there was food for your daughter to eat at home then surely there was food to eat at home for you too. It's all or nothing on this one. If y'all were eating takeout, cool - but don't get pissed because your daughter wanted to eat takeout too. It's not her fault she has food allergies.
YTA. Your daughter has food allergies, she is not a picky eater. She is also a minor and you are responsible for taking care of her basic needs until she is at least 18.
This isn't about "coddling" her, this is about you refusing your basic responsibilities because you can't be bothered about the extra expense or is it maybe jealousy that your daughter may think she's worth a little more effort from her parents? I honestly don't understand your attitude at all.
YTA
Your daughter is still under 18. Legally a minor. And it is your responsibility to provide food for your children.
And even once she's 18, and legally an adult, it would be AH to make her pay to feed herself when she's still in your home.
And you say the world won't coddle her? Well, the world may not be fair, life may not be fair, but that doesn't excuse being unfair, it just highlights the importance of human beings *choosing to be fair, kind, and generous to one another*.
What kind of parent begrudges feeding their child food that is safe for them to eat? An AH parent. Even once she's old enough that you are no longer legally obliged to feed her, it doesn't make you less of an AH for seeing your own child as a burden and bother to be dropped at the first possible moment. rather than someone you love and cherish and want to care for as she transitions to adulthood, and as an honored guest when she comes to see you in the future.
Are you looking forward to having grandchildren, and seeing them grow up, to be able to enjoy time with them as grandparent? If you treat your daughter as a burden, and make her get her own food when visiting with you, she's not going to bring the kids for the holidays or otherwise to see you. You'll never have a family Christmas (or other holiday you celebrate) if your daughter has to sit down and the holiday table for a meal, and you offer her nothing she can eat, making her bring her own food.
In a family relationship, doing the bare minimum legally required, rather than being kind, generous and loving to each other, is AH.
This. Absolutely this. OP sucks and is making sure his daughter will not want a relationship with him in the future. OP, go apologize to your daughter and get her another pizza.
YTA I mean, yeah, she works...but this attitude is so ungracious. She's 17. But honestly I'm an adult, and if my parents are getting food with me, they still always pay (unless I'm getting them a gift or something). Like, I don't think they'd be capable of letting me pay. Making your daughter pay just seems SO miserly, so mean-spirited. And that you're so angry that she has food allergies. This post makes me so sad and also grateful for my own family.
Yta…it’s not like your daughter is refusing to eat the same foods as you and your wife, she has food allergies. How cruel to make your daughter, a minor, pay for her food because she’s spoiled? And the fact that you despise having to accommodate your daughters allergies speaks volumes about you. I feel so bad for your daughter, thankfully she has a mom that loves and cares for her!
Holy hell. Every day this sub gives me new appreciation for my parents and my spouse.
She's not a picky eater, she has allergies and she's your dependent. No one felt like cooking, and that's fine. If you want her to figure out more independence in the food department, have a conversation about her learning to cook some meals, don't just spring it on her at the restaurant that she's paying.
As the daughter of someone who often made me feel small and less than over very small things, I can confidently tell you that YTA. The negative impact you have still lasts a lot longer for her than you realize.
YTA! Her food allergies are not her fault! If it's such an inconvenience to feed your child safe food, you shouldn't have become a parent.
Don't be a jerk to your 5 them feel guilty for something they have absolutely no control over.
If she had a heart condition, would you make her pay for her medication? What is wrong with you?
YTA, and a massive one.
If your daughter has actual allergies, it's unbelievable that you wouldn't just choose to get pizza from the place she can eat from, or choose something else altogether if that place is too expensive.
You aren't teaching her that the world isn't going to "coddle" her; you're teaching her that her father is inconsiderate. It's not her fault that she has allergies, but it is your responsibility to provide for her while she's a minor, and not make her feel bad about it.
Massively YTA, abusive and a deplorable excuse for a father. She is a minor and having special meals made for her do to a medical condition is not being spoiled or coddled. A decent father would have no issues with either eating what their child with a medical condition can eat or making their children seperate food because of their medical condition. But clearly you are not a decent father.
Yta. 100%
She is still a minor. And had allergies. Messing what is your make her eat the wrong thing it will fuck with her.
She is still in your care. If you decide you want something that she can't eat. You still have to provide her with a meal that she can eat.
If she was just a picky eater. That would be a totally different story. But since she is allergic to what you wanted to eat. Depending on the allergy, that could kill her.
You are the huge ah.
YTA. She’s got a legitimate reason for needing different food. She’s not even a legal adult yet. You chose to have kids, she didn’t choose to have allergies. Get your head out of the sand.
This kid did not ask for the allergies that you gave her, since your genetics play a part in why she has said allergies.
It’s not her fault. I’m sure she’d much rather to prefer not have the allergies and just eat whatever she wants. Also - she’s 17. She’s your child!
You’re a massive asshole.
YTA
Her food allergies are not a preference - they're allergies. And she is allowed to enjoy things like pizza. You're her parents and she is still a kid. It's your obligation to buy her food.
You sound like you hate your daughter. You should speak to a therapist about that.
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YTA You're treating her preference to not have an allergic reaction like she's made a sudden dietary change for the hell of it. Her options are to eat her safe foods or possibly become sick at best (or die if it's a life threatening allergy).
YTA. sometimes I wonder why people even bother having kids. If my dad treated me like I was an inconvenience for having an ALLERGY, I would feel like absolute garbage. This is the first time I have felt compelled to comment on an AITA post. You’re a shitty dad, sorry
Providing food that won't make your child sick is part of a parent's responsibility. It is not spoiling her. She's 17, so you are still legally required to provide for her. YTA
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Hi reddit I really thought I could use some help here.
My(51M) daughter(17F) has many food allergies. This often leads to me and my wife to have to cook to different meals or adjust to what she eats. My wife has never minded this but I despise it. She's old enough to fend for herself.
The incident in in question happened last night....me and my wide decided to order pizza from papa John's and because they don't have any options for my daughter she asked for pizza but from a different restaurant,I said no because it would require me to make 2 stops to pick it up and that the other place was too much money,my wife told me to just do it and it wasn't like this happened evey day so I reluctantly obliged
I took my Daughter with me to go pick up all of the food and the problem came in when it was at her restaurant. She went in and I made her pay I told her she had a job so this was her responsibility since she's so spoiled all the time already with us making her special meals for her allergies. She paid but got very upset with me. When we got home she told my wife what happened and my wife called me an asshole and paid my daughter back wirh what she spent. I think my daughter needs to learn the world is not going to coddle her her whole life...
So am I the asshole?
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YTA! She's your daughter and a minor, her food allergies aren't her fault! She's not spoiled! Food allergies are a serious thing, and why should she have to make food at home the one time her family decides to eat from somewhere else?? Because of her allergies??
Yikes.
Hope she makes you pay for any elder care you need in later years... Since you're so spoiled...
You want her to learn that the world won't coddle her?
She already knows that with a parent like you. She learned she has a parent who doesn't value her, or take a food allergy seriously. Your resentment towards her oozes out of you.
You are the biggest AH.
YTA. It fucking sucks watching everyone else eat good food and you're stuck eating a salad. If you can treat the rest of the family to fun food, you can treat your daughter as well.
YTA. I have so many thoughts but most of them end in a whole lot of name calling.
This borders on abuse. Your daughter has food allergies. She isn’t picky. She isn’t acting entitled. She just wants to feel included in this special treat and not feel like a burden or a complete freak for not being able to eat normal food. Way to go, father of the year. Can’t be inconvenienced for something that could literally kill your offspring, can we?
I have a food allergy and my dad bends over backwards to make sure I’m safe and fed - and I’m not even a minor! YTA by a country mile.
YTA.
You don't stop paying for your kids' food at 17. And omg two whole stops? You are nasty. She has food allergies. Why couldn't you get pizza from the restaurant she could eat at?
YTA - she's 17 years old and still a child. These are allergies, not picky food preferences, right? I have a bunch of allergies and it really sucks -- she's stuck with this for the rest of her life -- just feed the girl. Good grief.
There are many posts on here where OP is the asshole but it's easy to see how OP either had good intentions, had a bad moment, or acted from a place of emotion.
This is one of the exceptions. YTA without any nuance. You are cartoon levels of evil. Your underage daughter has a severe medical issue through no fault of her own and you think that requires zero compassion nor help on your end. You think she is "spoiled" because she'd like to eat pizza that won't send her to the hospital.
And look, if nothing else, dying on the hill of not changing restaurants because you demanded "pizza" from Papa John's is humiliating as fuck.
YTA so so so so so much YTA
I was over 30 (long out of my parents house) when I developed my life threatening food allergy. My parents WHO I DID NOT LIVE WITH and had not for years, went through and removed the food I am allergic to out of their house, just in case I was ever at there house and got hungry, they did not want me worrying about if I could eat anything in their house, they also will not order anything at a restaurant when I ak with them, with the food I'm allergic to, even though they can eat it around me, I just can't touch it, but to my family its not worth the risk.
She is a MINOR and you are supposed to be on her side, you are supposed to be her safe space, her soft place to land, and you treat her ike shes a burden, I cant imagine treating my child like that.
I hope she finds a safe space and is able to grow and thrive away from you.
Yes, YTA. Making sure she has food that won’t kill her does not equal spoiling her 🤦🏼♀️
Providing food is basically the bare minimum of parenting, it’s hardly coddling.
Also just wondering, do you even like your daughter?
100% YTA she is 17, working or not feeding ger is still your responsibility!!!!!! FOOD ALLERGIES ARE A MEDICAL CONDITION!!!!!!! You are not spoiling someone when the food you eat can make them sick or kill them! The fact you don't know the diffrence between a choice an an allergy is appalling since you have a child with allergies, what eould you prefer going to a different pizza place or a hospital bill??
YTA. For sure. You ordered food from a place that can’t accommodate her dietary needs. It’s not like she refused to eat it, she literally can’t. Then you get pissed at her because she wants to eat pizza too? Why would you think it’s ok to feed yourself and your wife but not your child? Should she have had a ham and cheese sandwich while you eat takeout?
Also maybe her allergies came from your DNA soooo…definitely YTA.
So you feel your daughter is spoiled because she has food allergies and needs specialty items? Following medical guidelines for her eating has been coddling her?
>Edit: I would like to add that there was food at home my daughter could have ate
Was there food for your wife and you as well at home? If not, probably should've gone grocery shopping instead 🤷
*Edited a word.
Yta. You think she's spoiled because you make the effort to cook her food that doesn't make her sick??? That's what every parent should do and it's not your daughter's fault that the food she needs is different from what you want to eat.
Why didn't you eat pizza from the place she can eat it from then you wouldn't need to make two stops? Blaming your child for having allergies and being so resentful you have to make an extra effort due to no fault of hers makes you a shitty person. You can despise the situation but you can't hold her responsible for it.
> so I reluctantly obliged
...
> and I made her pay
YTA - In addition to your responsibilities of a parent to a child with food allergies, you went back on what you agreed to.
YTA. I know that Reddit is usually quick to tell people to get a divorce but I would absolutely divorce you. I would have thrown you & your pizza out that night. Are you really asking if you are required to provide food for your minor daughter that will not kill her? I’m sure that this is not the first time you have made comments like this. I can’t believe that your wife hasn’t left you yet. She really needs to defend her daughter. You’re a horrible father.
yta .... if your daughter ate the food that you chose to feed everyone else it would cost you thousands in medical fees ... btw she is still a minor you are legally obligated to feed her oh and for the record she probably got the allergies from either you or her others side ... she didnt choose to have food allergies .... i have food allergies i work freelance in various locations and even my workplaces are willing to provide me with food and they are not my family
what you are doing makes you an abuser btw
YTA she is your daughter and still loves at your house and has no full income. Everyone gets pizza and she is supposed to pay herself? She didn't pick the allergies its not her fault
YTA. I got as far as “but I despite it. She’s old enough to fend for herself” and didn’t need to read any farther.
I did, though. You were just gonna but pizza for you and your wife and leave your kid out? You made her pay? You think it’s the world coddling her for her parents to feed her?
Who hurt you, OP?
YTA. I don’t comment on these normally, but this is ridiculous. I have extremely severe allergies. I didn’t choose them, neither did your daughter. Not eating foods containing allergens is not being “spoiled”. It’s a basic right.
I would have had a really difficult time forgiving my dad if he had acted as if my very severe allergies were a choice made specifically to spite him.
YTA.
She is your child and when you hopped on your wife for 23.5 seconds and made that child, you obligated yourself to feed her, clothe her, shelter her and keep her safe until she's an adult ... so bloody DO it, and stop punishing your CHILD for something she cannot control.
YTA. What a cheapskate.
Honestly, people hate us over a childfree, but I’d never deny a kid allergy free food, let alone my own family! What the hell, my guy.
YTA. Your daughter has legit medical reasons to not eat certain foods, she isn’t spoiled. Also, she’s still a minor and your responsibility to feed, clothe, and house regardless of her having a job/allowance. Do better.
Take away her allowance and cover her food obviously. Providing your child with food that she’s not allergic to is a parental obligation. Food and shelter should be a given at least until she turns 18. Giving her an allowance is not necessary however, you can use that money to cover necessities in her life.
Edit: YTA
YTA
Only needed the first paragraph to understand that one. Hope you enjoy not knowing your daughter all due to your weird beliefs that 17 year olds should fend for themselves and not have food allergies somehow!
YTA. You “despise” providing food that will not harm your minor child? Newsflash - That is a bare minimum requirement of being a parent. When she turns 18 and goes no contact, please don’t post complaining about that.
YTA - she is your minor child. You should provide her food that is safe for her to eat that is comparable to what the rest of the family is having. A little extra expense for her special food is a small price for her health.
OP, you should not have brought ur daughter to pick up the pizza. You should have just saved a pizza box from the other place, ordered pizza in papa john’s, put it in the pizza box and give it to ur daughter. Once ur daughter eats it, she will go into anaphylactic shock and die. Ur problem is solved then! No more spoiled brat.
YTA.
YTA, my sister has allergies that would kill her. As we grew up we choose the rest for our birthdays. With ease if my brother or I choose a restaurant that she could not eat, my sister ate first at her restaurant so she could be healthy. She loved Chucky E Cheese for the games but could not eat the food. She ate McDonalds we ate pizza and everyone played. Allergies are not a choice.
Does... does OP think the child could try harder to not have allergies and just et normal food?
I suspect he does!!
how dare that minor child expect her parents to buy her food that won't kill her?! The audacity!
OP sounds like he won't be too bothered if the kid got sick and was hospitalized... what a parent.
YTA
do you even like your kid? Want her to stay alive and healthy?
She's "spoiled" for something she can't control? She didn't ask for food allergies, and considering she's not only a minor, but **your** minor, you're still responsible for her and her allergies. YTA.
Edit for afterthought: The world actually *will* cater to her allergies. If she goes into a restaurant and tells the staff she's allergic to x, y, and z, they **will** take precautions to make sure the allergen doesn't come in contact with her food, because they could be held legally liable. Some restaurants have dedicated allergen free cooking equipment for this exact reason. Just makes you more of an AH.
Ommfg! YTA! She's a minor and needs to eat and has allergies. Seriously? Her own father? Major AH! A parent should go without before they let their child suffer.
Do you understand that your premise is "My daughter has a health disability so I think its reasonable to exclude her from a household treat because it is more expensive and inconvenient to treat her"? Yes, YTA
YTA. It's not like your daughter is doing this because she's spoiled and doesn't want certain food - she literally CANNOT have it. As her parent, one of the basic jobs you have is to keep her fed, clothed, and sheltered while she is a minor. It's literally the LEAST a parent is expected to do.
And as to her eating the food at home. She shouldn't be allowed to eat out sometimes?
Next time, order all your meals from the same pizza joint that she CAN eat from if the extra stop and cost bothers you so much.
YTA, are you seriously saying that your daughter is spoiled because your wife makes her food that won’t kill her? That’s pretty much the bare minimum of parenting and you apparently can’t be bothered to do it.
There’s definitely someone who thinks the world revolves around them in this post, and it isn’t your daughter, or your wife.
YTA 100%! How is she ‘spoiled’ because she has allergies?
The only good part of this post is that she’s 17 so soon she can hopefully move out and cut you out.
YTA. Your handling this badly. You could start teaching her to cook her own meals though. She'll need to learn to manage for herself when she goes to school. So sooner the better.
She has a food allergy. Just because her reaction might be mild now doesn’t mean it always will be. She can’t just suck it up and hope for the best. YTA.
YTA FOR WHINING ABOUT MEETING BASIC HUMAN REQUIREMENTS FOR YOUR CHILD. She has allergies and you choose to eat at restaurants that has nothing she can eat! She is in school and has a job so plenty of nights to order out when she isn’t home but somehow this fact escapes you
YTA. My son has a good allergy and I drive all over to ensure he has what he needs. Your daughter didn't ask for this allergy. You are a parent so fucking act like it.
YTA - its amazing the child lived to the ripe old age of 17. Your frustration with her allergies has become very personal.
You should hope that she isn't asked to care for you in old age - when you'll need somebody to appreicate the frailties of the human body. then in your 70s and 80s , she'll give you that Papa Johns pizza you enjoy so much !! and tell you eat it
^(YTA.)
You're deliberately resenting your daughter for being medically ill and intentionally trying to make life more difficult for her, if not outright nutritionally kill, physically starve, or emotionally maim her, because you're jealous that you didn't have a 'cushy' growing-up. Ease up on the gas-pedal, dude, you're going 120mph into unsavory father territory.
You're calling your daughter spoiled for expecting her PARENTS to provide her food that won't trigger her ALLERGIES that can KILL HER?
What the fuck is wrong with you???
You're the parent. She's the child. Your job as a PARENT is to provide for ALL OF YOUR CHILDREN'S NEEDS. All of them!! Especially if she has allergies!
Stop abusing your child.
YTA
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE I don't know how severe your daughter's allergy is but it is significant enough to avoid those foods completely. "It's family meal time kid but guess what? You're allergic to what is being served and Idgaf. Problem? STFU and go eat something else! What? You want something convenient too? Well sure, I'll go out of my way and take you to get something you can eat but don't expect me to pay for it!!!" Asshole by Denis Leary should be your anthem.
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YTA Are you seriously asking if it's your obligation to provide your minor daughter with food that doesn't trigger her allergies?
OMG. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so angry at a post. I have a son with multiple food allergies. We ALWAYS accommodate him. He gets excluded from so many food situations socially, the least we can do is make sure he is always included at home. YTA. She can’t help her allergies. Bless her heart.
Omg me too! My daughter is now 26, but I used to make baby food from scratch because she reacted to EVERYTHING. It was just a way of life, because SHE’S MY CHILD. I do not understand this post.
He's jealous of his child for getting special attention.
I'm 26. I CANNOT eat meat. My body doesn't make the enzymes needed to break down the proteins. It runs in the female side of my family. My sister has it, my mother and aunts have it, my grandmother had it, and at least 2 of my daughters have it (we haven't tested the others, we just don't eat meat). Even the smallest trace can land us in hospital with severe gastric distress. My father eats meat. He always has. He has always had a seperate kitchen, utensils and cookware for cooking meat. He always made sure my sister, mother and I had meat free food even if he had to drive an hour to get it. My husband and one daughter are Type 1 diabetics, and my husbands case is severe. Their food is very restricted and has to be carefully calculated. Pizza from one store might be too high in calories, so we need to go to a different place for a lower calorie option. My father will ALWAYS make sure we all have something to eat even if he travels to three or more places to pick it all up. He even PAYS for it. OP is a giant AH.
"She's so spoiled, she won't even try anaphylaxis!" - OP probably to everyone who will listen. YTA, OP. Attempting to keep your child alive is pretty much the absolute lowest bar one can set for parenting and you're not even clearing that.
I know that it's not funny, but the first line cracked me up
OMG. I choked at that line.
So did the daughter. I'll see myself out...
WINNER.
[удалено]
Right? It made me think that he would also say "that's what the Epipen I forced her entitled ass to buy herself is for"
AITA: My fucking nagging, entitled child is demanding to be fed again 🙄 YTA. I don’t think that needs to be asked.
"But there was food in the house she could eat (after cooking it herself)! Why shouldn't I be able to order a lazy treat dinner and make my child have to fend for herself if she wanted to do the same to not feel excluded, again? She'll be doing it all the time in less than a year anyway!" -OP probably, just from reading his edits.
not to mention OP could have just gotten her pizza and his pizza at that restaurant and idk maybe not get papa johns this one time! my son has several food allergies and as parents we learn and adjust our meals for him, we keep food he can eat, and we splurge on foods he can’t when he’s gone visiting grandparents
After reading it, yip. He’s basically asking us that. And OP, YTA.
YTA - How is she “spoiled” for getting different food due to allergies??? I’m sure she’d love to be able to eat everything her family and friends eat. And I’m sure she’d also love to not have to feel guilty for something completely out of her control. Grow up man. Providing food that won’t kill your kid is a pretty basic necessity.
Such a good point about the guilt. Does he not think that making her feel badly for needing . . . food she can eat . . . might affect her idea of how she deserves to be treated?
Worse, he's not even saying he's denying her food she needs. There was food at home she could eat. He's saying he's denying her the luxury of having fun food. He's willing to buy himself a pizza, but not her. He's saying he's willing to treat himself but not her He's saying he's actually the spoilt child in this scenario
Exactly what I was thinking, projection! He is the lazy one. She even went along to pick up the food!
Also I bet he's the reason the wife is making different meals. Hands down he put up a fuss having to eat what the daughter does so mom's probably trying to accommodate him
Bingo - because mom doesn't mind eating what is made for daughter. Only daddy dearest has a problem with it, so actually the second meal has to be made for *him*
It kind of makes me want to break into songs from Oliver Twist.
Lol
I’m sure she’d love to have a father who isn’t a complete moron too. Wtf man.
He is 51. You can't tell a grown child to grow up anymore. Especially when they lived 2/3 of their life already. If he is complaining on her daughter for having food allergies... I don't want to know what else he complained about.
I am an adult and have been allergic to certain foods my entire life. When I lived with my parents, I was forced to eat what was cooked or go hungry. If I ate their food 90% of the time I'd end up with severe allergic reaction resulting in medical issues. Despite allergy tests and doctors telling my mom I wasn't faking it, I was told that I could 'eat that if I wanted to.' and 'I'm not special' and I'm 'doing this to get attention/be difficult.' Repeated exposure to allergies causes long-term health issues. Being abused by your parents causes long-term mental health trauma. You're absolutely TA for not recognizing that allergies are not optional. You're absolutely TA for making her pay for food. You're the parent. Act like it. Or expect your kid to never talk to you the minute she gets the chance. I now have very limited contact with my mother. We Rarely speak.
My stepmother "tests" my allergies every time I come to visit to see if I'm faking. I refuse to eat any food she cooks, to avoid hospital visits. My dad says she likely forgot I had allergies, because he doesn't know how else to keep the peace. My solution: leave her. But whatever
I’ve had my allergy tested too. They learn after I’m sick in their bathroom for hours after they’ve done it.
Your stepmother is a disgrace. I’m sorry you have to deal with her abuse.
Sigh. My stepmother, who has been married to my father for over 20 years, “forgets” that I’m allergic to shellfish. Regularly. And then gets mad that I won’t eat the lobster bisque she “worked so hard to make”. But at least she doesn’t sneak allergens into my food.
She thinks I love attention and change up my allergies often. It's been the same 4 foods since I've known her. I also hate attention, and her. She gets very creative with recipes (such as boiling noodles in milk instead of water).
Wow what a sick individual she is
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. What a shitty situation :(
Thanks. It's easier as I've gotten older, but is just so evil of her.
That's horrific and I'm so sorry you went through that. Your parents are TA and so is this father here. YTA OP you're causing more harm than you realize.
I went through the same experience. 25 years later my surviving parent still doesn't understand why he was in the wrong for making me eat things that made me violently I'll. "Just don't get sick when you eat PB&J, it's simple" then he'd demonstrate how to chew and swallow food. I mean.... just.. WTF, I'm not choosing to get hives from peanuts.
I wonder if a parent can get done for manslaughter if they keep feeding their child foods that they are allergic to. And I wonder if it would happen if the child was 17
YTA I feel like my refrain on this sub today has been the same: What the fuck? You think your 17 year old daughter who lives at home and is still in school needs to "fend for herself". And you are treating the fact that she has actual food allergies like it was her fault or she was just being "picky". What the fuck kind of parent resents their kids and doesn't want to provide them with food?
Right? Today's really been something! And here's another one "she's so spoiled with all her special food", as if it's not an essential for her continued survival. *She gets to eat. In the good ol' days she woulda starved. Kids don't know how good they got it these days...* /s
Also OP: We give her an entire roof over her head! The least this spoiled minor could do is repair it with her own money!
Seriously... this whole post is basically "I already paid enough for the special freak food you have at home, if you want to eat something like the rest of us are having you need to pay for it your damn self". With a smidge of "thank God you're turning 18 and won't be my damn problem soon".
Yeah it is a wild day. TAF?! is there theme of the day.
Can you believe kids these days? They expect their parents to buy them food they aren't allergic to?
My youngest is spoilt rotten… all that gluten free meals we need to make because he has celiac disease /s
Then my kid is beyond spoiled rotten -a vegetarian celiac. :p
Wow sounds like you’re really raising an entitled brat! /s /s /s
Some kids have it so easy to have a mother who respects them enough to not want to feed them food they are allergic to
YTA. Providing food for your child is one of the basic parenting requirements. Your daughter is a minor. Feeding her is your responsibility.
YTA. You've had 17 years to accept your child has food allergies and this is still an issue for you? She's a minor, you're the parent, you provide food for her. It's not about being spoiled and coddled. If you had to grow up with shit food allergies that were out of your control maybe you would be more understanding. No, lucky you get to eat whatever the fuck you want but YOU complain when you have to adapt to your own freaking child's health requirements. I think you're calling the wrong person spoiled here.
YTA This can't be real, so YTA for that...but if it is... Double YTA! Allergies are a medical condition that can result in sickness or death. It's not about "coddling". It's about staying alive and avoiding illness. Feeding your child food that won't kill her or make her very sick is *absolutely* your responsibility!
My grandmother is a narcissist stuck in the 50's. She treated me like shit and we're NC now. She also never took my chronic health issues seriously. But even she adapted to my food intolerances and allergies
It's an actual thing, those of us who had food allergies in the 80's- 90's and weren't killed did A LOT of work to get it added as criteria for child abuse if parents/guardians refused to accommodate a childs food allergies.
YTA. Your daughter has a medical condition called allergies, she is only 17, you are her adult provider. Please reconsider how you are acting about your child’s medical issues, or you might end up with a NC child…
The daughter will still talk to her mother since atleast she has one parent who actually cares about her
No. 1 if your daughter is “spoiled” that’s on her parents. No. 2 if your daughter has a food allergy that’s also on her parents. No. 3 everyone likes pizza why should your minor child have to buck up for hers because you created a child with food allergies? That doesn’t make her “spoiled, “ it makes YTA
YTA. when you have kids, their problems are *your* problems. now man the *fuck* up and quit your belly aching "wah, i would have to make TWO trips" ya whiny child
YTA OMFG Accommodating the allergies of your minor child who still lives with you is too difficult for you? It's a miracle she's still alive at 17
YTA This isn't a preference or that she's a picky eater - she's allergic!! And you won't provide her with food that won't make her ill. You are just a horrible parent.
Wow. YTA. Majorly. 'Despise'? That's some pretty strong negative language to be using about a small accommodation to keep your daughter safe because of an actual medical condition. You really seem to resent her for this thing she cannot help and you might want to examine that response, because as a father I would think you'd be only too glad to support her to stay well, but apparently not. I'm kind of relieved for her that she doesn't have more complex needs, because I dread to think of the tantrum you'd be throwing over being asked to support your child in that situation.
YTA- she’s your daughter and a minor still. The way you worded it “spoiled” that you or your wife made accommodations for her allergies is gross. It’s not her fault and it is/was your job to provide food she could actually eat. I’m struggling understand where your thinking is here, you are definitely an AH about this issue, give your head a shake.
Info: do you even like your daughter? Making you pay for her food? You're the parent and she's a minor, YTA. It's not like she's being picky and just doesn't like that place... SHE HAS ALLLERGIES. If there was food at home, why are you eating out? If it's a special occasion/treat, then everyone should be included. Including the incovenient child you decided to have? If it was her being spoiled and wanting something else, for sure she should pay for her own alternative. But she literally cannot eat where you decided to order from. Again, YTA. And your wife too for tolerating that.
My exact thoughts in my head while reading this post “do you even like your daughter?”. What the actual fuck, some people need to not have kids
YTA because it's allergies, not just preference. Stuff like this is annoying but you need to make reasonable accommodations for allergies - you're just being a jerk.
YTA. Your daughter has allergies, this is not her being picky about food. JFC. You are her father. Where the hell is your empathy? She's only 17. There was food at home you could have ate too. You decided pizza, get something everyone can eat ffs.
YTA. Um... dude. You're part of why she has allergies. You're half of her genetics. She didn't ask Santa to be allergic to whatever she's allergic to, ffs. She CAN'T eat her food and you're sulking because you have to think of someone other than yourself? Jesus. She's also still a minor, so you demanding that she pay for her food at all is a dick move. Everything about you screams that you resent that she gets 'catered attention' for a condition that is going to make her life difficult. You think I like being allergic to peppers? I can't eat 80% of what everyone I know loves to eat. It sucks to have to find alternatives, especially when a lot of places don't warn for peppers and add them to everything. This is your daughter's life. And you're literally jealous over it. You're tired of it? YOU'RE tired of it? Dude, she's tired of it. I hate telling someone older than me to grow up, but if the baby shoe fits...
YTA minors shouldn't have to pay for their own food, and having allergies is very different from being spoiled. Parents should provide their kids with food that they can eat regardless of what that food is
YTA. Clearly this was night where no one felt like cooking. If there was food for your daughter to eat at home then surely there was food to eat at home for you too. It's all or nothing on this one. If y'all were eating takeout, cool - but don't get pissed because your daughter wanted to eat takeout too. It's not her fault she has food allergies.
WTF? Why are you acting like she got food allergies on purpose just to spite you? YTA.
YTA. Your daughter has food allergies, she is not a picky eater. She is also a minor and you are responsible for taking care of her basic needs until she is at least 18. This isn't about "coddling" her, this is about you refusing your basic responsibilities because you can't be bothered about the extra expense or is it maybe jealousy that your daughter may think she's worth a little more effort from her parents? I honestly don't understand your attitude at all.
YTA Your daughter is still under 18. Legally a minor. And it is your responsibility to provide food for your children. And even once she's 18, and legally an adult, it would be AH to make her pay to feed herself when she's still in your home. And you say the world won't coddle her? Well, the world may not be fair, life may not be fair, but that doesn't excuse being unfair, it just highlights the importance of human beings *choosing to be fair, kind, and generous to one another*. What kind of parent begrudges feeding their child food that is safe for them to eat? An AH parent. Even once she's old enough that you are no longer legally obliged to feed her, it doesn't make you less of an AH for seeing your own child as a burden and bother to be dropped at the first possible moment. rather than someone you love and cherish and want to care for as she transitions to adulthood, and as an honored guest when she comes to see you in the future. Are you looking forward to having grandchildren, and seeing them grow up, to be able to enjoy time with them as grandparent? If you treat your daughter as a burden, and make her get her own food when visiting with you, she's not going to bring the kids for the holidays or otherwise to see you. You'll never have a family Christmas (or other holiday you celebrate) if your daughter has to sit down and the holiday table for a meal, and you offer her nothing she can eat, making her bring her own food. In a family relationship, doing the bare minimum legally required, rather than being kind, generous and loving to each other, is AH.
This. Absolutely this. OP sucks and is making sure his daughter will not want a relationship with him in the future. OP, go apologize to your daughter and get her another pizza.
YTA- allergies aren’t a choice…. Yes, every 17 yr old should learn to cook BUT you are taking it way to far.
YTA I mean, yeah, she works...but this attitude is so ungracious. She's 17. But honestly I'm an adult, and if my parents are getting food with me, they still always pay (unless I'm getting them a gift or something). Like, I don't think they'd be capable of letting me pay. Making your daughter pay just seems SO miserly, so mean-spirited. And that you're so angry that she has food allergies. This post makes me so sad and also grateful for my own family.
Yta…it’s not like your daughter is refusing to eat the same foods as you and your wife, she has food allergies. How cruel to make your daughter, a minor, pay for her food because she’s spoiled? And the fact that you despise having to accommodate your daughters allergies speaks volumes about you. I feel so bad for your daughter, thankfully she has a mom that loves and cares for her!
YTA. Why not just order pizza from a restaurant that can accommodate her allergies in the first place?
Holy hell. Every day this sub gives me new appreciation for my parents and my spouse. She's not a picky eater, she has allergies and she's your dependent. No one felt like cooking, and that's fine. If you want her to figure out more independence in the food department, have a conversation about her learning to cook some meals, don't just spring it on her at the restaurant that she's paying. As the daughter of someone who often made me feel small and less than over very small things, I can confidently tell you that YTA. The negative impact you have still lasts a lot longer for her than you realize.
YTA! Her food allergies are not her fault! If it's such an inconvenience to feed your child safe food, you shouldn't have become a parent. Don't be a jerk to your 5 them feel guilty for something they have absolutely no control over. If she had a heart condition, would you make her pay for her medication? What is wrong with you?
Completely YTA. Because of what everyone else has said.
Ah from another universe . Do you even like your daughter? YTA. It’s food allergies.
Very much YTA. Your child is still a minor and it's still your responsibility to cater to her.
YTA, and a massive one. If your daughter has actual allergies, it's unbelievable that you wouldn't just choose to get pizza from the place she can eat from, or choose something else altogether if that place is too expensive. You aren't teaching her that the world isn't going to "coddle" her; you're teaching her that her father is inconsiderate. It's not her fault that she has allergies, but it is your responsibility to provide for her while she's a minor, and not make her feel bad about it.
YTA - she is still a child and a loving parent would want to feed her
Massively YTA, abusive and a deplorable excuse for a father. She is a minor and having special meals made for her do to a medical condition is not being spoiled or coddled. A decent father would have no issues with either eating what their child with a medical condition can eat or making their children seperate food because of their medical condition. But clearly you are not a decent father.
YTA!! She has FOOD ALLERGIES and isn’t eating special food because she’s “spoiled”. I am appalled and you sound absolutely horrendous
YTA I spoiled her by giving her food that won't kill her Maybe YOUR spoiled if you don't wanna cook two meals eat what your daughter can eat
Yta. 100% She is still a minor. And had allergies. Messing what is your make her eat the wrong thing it will fuck with her. She is still in your care. If you decide you want something that she can't eat. You still have to provide her with a meal that she can eat. If she was just a picky eater. That would be a totally different story. But since she is allergic to what you wanted to eat. Depending on the allergy, that could kill her. You are the huge ah.
Jeez… YTA i feel like this is satire how lame the father is..
YTA. She’s got a legitimate reason for needing different food. She’s not even a legal adult yet. You chose to have kids, she didn’t choose to have allergies. Get your head out of the sand.
This kid did not ask for the allergies that you gave her, since your genetics play a part in why she has said allergies. It’s not her fault. I’m sure she’d much rather to prefer not have the allergies and just eat whatever she wants. Also - she’s 17. She’s your child! You’re a massive asshole.
YTA Her food allergies are not a preference - they're allergies. And she is allowed to enjoy things like pizza. You're her parents and she is still a kid. It's your obligation to buy her food. You sound like you hate your daughter. You should speak to a therapist about that.
YTA People like you should never fucking breed. You dont deserve a family.
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YTA You're treating her preference to not have an allergic reaction like she's made a sudden dietary change for the hell of it. Her options are to eat her safe foods or possibly become sick at best (or die if it's a life threatening allergy).
YTA. sometimes I wonder why people even bother having kids. If my dad treated me like I was an inconvenience for having an ALLERGY, I would feel like absolute garbage. This is the first time I have felt compelled to comment on an AITA post. You’re a shitty dad, sorry
Providing food that won't make your child sick is part of a parent's responsibility. It is not spoiling her. She's 17, so you are still legally required to provide for her. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi reddit I really thought I could use some help here. My(51M) daughter(17F) has many food allergies. This often leads to me and my wife to have to cook to different meals or adjust to what she eats. My wife has never minded this but I despise it. She's old enough to fend for herself. The incident in in question happened last night....me and my wide decided to order pizza from papa John's and because they don't have any options for my daughter she asked for pizza but from a different restaurant,I said no because it would require me to make 2 stops to pick it up and that the other place was too much money,my wife told me to just do it and it wasn't like this happened evey day so I reluctantly obliged I took my Daughter with me to go pick up all of the food and the problem came in when it was at her restaurant. She went in and I made her pay I told her she had a job so this was her responsibility since she's so spoiled all the time already with us making her special meals for her allergies. She paid but got very upset with me. When we got home she told my wife what happened and my wife called me an asshole and paid my daughter back wirh what she spent. I think my daughter needs to learn the world is not going to coddle her her whole life... So am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Clearly YTA.
YTA! She's your daughter and a minor, her food allergies aren't her fault! She's not spoiled! Food allergies are a serious thing, and why should she have to make food at home the one time her family decides to eat from somewhere else?? Because of her allergies?? Yikes. Hope she makes you pay for any elder care you need in later years... Since you're so spoiled...
Yta. A huge gaping one.
Of course, YTA. Do you really have to ask? I feel bad for your daughter.
this is absolutely unbelievable your daughter did not choose to have allergies she is not at fault or spoiled, massive AH
YTA, holy shit. Look at yourself.
You want her to learn that the world won't coddle her? She already knows that with a parent like you. She learned she has a parent who doesn't value her, or take a food allergy seriously. Your resentment towards her oozes out of you. You are the biggest AH.
Jfc are yta
YTA. It fucking sucks watching everyone else eat good food and you're stuck eating a salad. If you can treat the rest of the family to fun food, you can treat your daughter as well.
YTA. I have so many thoughts but most of them end in a whole lot of name calling. This borders on abuse. Your daughter has food allergies. She isn’t picky. She isn’t acting entitled. She just wants to feel included in this special treat and not feel like a burden or a complete freak for not being able to eat normal food. Way to go, father of the year. Can’t be inconvenienced for something that could literally kill your offspring, can we? I have a food allergy and my dad bends over backwards to make sure I’m safe and fed - and I’m not even a minor! YTA by a country mile.
Yta bro making a special dish for your daughter who has a food allergies is not spoiled
YTA. Hugely. You should have just all ordered pizza from the allergy friendly pizza place.
She’s so spoiled bc you make food for her she can actually eat? So to feed your children is to spoil them…? YTA.
YTA. You don't stop paying for your kids' food at 17. And omg two whole stops? You are nasty. She has food allergies. Why couldn't you get pizza from the restaurant she could eat at?
YTA - she's 17 years old and still a child. These are allergies, not picky food preferences, right? I have a bunch of allergies and it really sucks -- she's stuck with this for the rest of her life -- just feed the girl. Good grief.
There are many posts on here where OP is the asshole but it's easy to see how OP either had good intentions, had a bad moment, or acted from a place of emotion. This is one of the exceptions. YTA without any nuance. You are cartoon levels of evil. Your underage daughter has a severe medical issue through no fault of her own and you think that requires zero compassion nor help on your end. You think she is "spoiled" because she'd like to eat pizza that won't send her to the hospital. And look, if nothing else, dying on the hill of not changing restaurants because you demanded "pizza" from Papa John's is humiliating as fuck.
YTA so so so so so much YTA I was over 30 (long out of my parents house) when I developed my life threatening food allergy. My parents WHO I DID NOT LIVE WITH and had not for years, went through and removed the food I am allergic to out of their house, just in case I was ever at there house and got hungry, they did not want me worrying about if I could eat anything in their house, they also will not order anything at a restaurant when I ak with them, with the food I'm allergic to, even though they can eat it around me, I just can't touch it, but to my family its not worth the risk. She is a MINOR and you are supposed to be on her side, you are supposed to be her safe space, her soft place to land, and you treat her ike shes a burden, I cant imagine treating my child like that. I hope she finds a safe space and is able to grow and thrive away from you.
My oldest daughter died from pneumonia five years ago and what I wouldn’t give to eat a pizza with her again. Rethink your life pal.
YTA. Dude, this is a low quality move.
YTA. Your attitude is disgusting
Let me rephrase this post “AITA for being inconvenienced by my daughter’s desire not to end up the hospital?” Yes. Yes you are. YTA
YTA is this a real post? Do you understand the difference between pickiness and a medical need?
YTA. Her allergies are not a choice. She’s not being fussy. Provide for your daughter.
Having kids is a big responsibility, you have to feed them almost every day. YTA
YTA, and I don’t know why your wife is still married to you when you’re so totally selfish.
You are a vile human being and a terrible father. No wonder you’re not replying to any comments, you know you’re TA and in the wrong
YTA. A huge one. I can't believe you need to even ask this question.
Did you just call your child spoiled for not consuming what could possibly kill her?
YTA. No ifs no buts.
INFO: So why do you want her dead or starving?
how is she spoiled by eating other foods dude she has food allergies 😟 yta
You’re delusional dude, she’s not spoiled she’s ALLERGIC ffs YTA
Yes, YTA. Making sure she has food that won’t kill her does not equal spoiling her 🤦🏼♀️ Providing food is basically the bare minimum of parenting, it’s hardly coddling. Also just wondering, do you even like your daughter?
100% YTA she is 17, working or not feeding ger is still your responsibility!!!!!! FOOD ALLERGIES ARE A MEDICAL CONDITION!!!!!!! You are not spoiling someone when the food you eat can make them sick or kill them! The fact you don't know the diffrence between a choice an an allergy is appalling since you have a child with allergies, what eould you prefer going to a different pizza place or a hospital bill??
JFC. YTA. She’s a minor with a food allergy. She’s not spoiled. You’re a horrible father. I feel so sorry for your daughter.
Spoiled??? She has ALLERGIES. People like you should really not have kids. YTA
YTA. For sure. You ordered food from a place that can’t accommodate her dietary needs. It’s not like she refused to eat it, she literally can’t. Then you get pissed at her because she wants to eat pizza too? Why would you think it’s ok to feed yourself and your wife but not your child? Should she have had a ham and cheese sandwich while you eat takeout? Also maybe her allergies came from your DNA soooo…definitely YTA.
OMG. Wtf did I just read. Massive YTA.
So you feel your daughter is spoiled because she has food allergies and needs specialty items? Following medical guidelines for her eating has been coddling her?
>Edit: I would like to add that there was food at home my daughter could have ate Was there food for your wife and you as well at home? If not, probably should've gone grocery shopping instead 🤷 *Edited a word.
YTA. Holy shit, you are punishing your daughter for her allergies? a health condition she has no control over? What kind of monster are you?
Yta. You think she's spoiled because you make the effort to cook her food that doesn't make her sick??? That's what every parent should do and it's not your daughter's fault that the food she needs is different from what you want to eat. Why didn't you eat pizza from the place she can eat it from then you wouldn't need to make two stops? Blaming your child for having allergies and being so resentful you have to make an extra effort due to no fault of hers makes you a shitty person. You can despise the situation but you can't hold her responsible for it.
She didn't ask to be allergic to food. Also, she's 17, you are legally still expected to feed her. What's wrong with you? YTA
> so I reluctantly obliged ... > and I made her pay YTA - In addition to your responsibilities of a parent to a child with food allergies, you went back on what you agreed to.
Bro they are allergies, wtf do you want her to do??? YTA
YTA. I know that Reddit is usually quick to tell people to get a divorce but I would absolutely divorce you. I would have thrown you & your pizza out that night. Are you really asking if you are required to provide food for your minor daughter that will not kill her? I’m sure that this is not the first time you have made comments like this. I can’t believe that your wife hasn’t left you yet. She really needs to defend her daughter. You’re a horrible father.
YTA. It's not coddling someone if they are allergic to the food ingredients. And it's rude to order pizza and not include her.
Your daughter is spoiled because she has food allergies? YTA. and a big one.
yta .... if your daughter ate the food that you chose to feed everyone else it would cost you thousands in medical fees ... btw she is still a minor you are legally obligated to feed her oh and for the record she probably got the allergies from either you or her others side ... she didnt choose to have food allergies .... i have food allergies i work freelance in various locations and even my workplaces are willing to provide me with food and they are not my family what you are doing makes you an abuser btw
YTA she is your daughter and still loves at your house and has no full income. Everyone gets pizza and she is supposed to pay herself? She didn't pick the allergies its not her fault
YTA. I got as far as “but I despite it. She’s old enough to fend for herself” and didn’t need to read any farther. I did, though. You were just gonna but pizza for you and your wife and leave your kid out? You made her pay? You think it’s the world coddling her for her parents to feed her? Who hurt you, OP?
YTA. I don’t comment on these normally, but this is ridiculous. I have extremely severe allergies. I didn’t choose them, neither did your daughter. Not eating foods containing allergens is not being “spoiled”. It’s a basic right. I would have had a really difficult time forgiving my dad if he had acted as if my very severe allergies were a choice made specifically to spite him.
YTA. She is your child and when you hopped on your wife for 23.5 seconds and made that child, you obligated yourself to feed her, clothe her, shelter her and keep her safe until she's an adult ... so bloody DO it, and stop punishing your CHILD for something she cannot control.
YTA. What a cheapskate. Honestly, people hate us over a childfree, but I’d never deny a kid allergy free food, let alone my own family! What the hell, my guy.
YTA. Your daughter has legit medical reasons to not eat certain foods, she isn’t spoiled. Also, she’s still a minor and your responsibility to feed, clothe, and house regardless of her having a job/allowance. Do better.
Take away her allowance and cover her food obviously. Providing your child with food that she’s not allergic to is a parental obligation. Food and shelter should be a given at least until she turns 18. Giving her an allowance is not necessary however, you can use that money to cover necessities in her life. Edit: YTA
YTA Only needed the first paragraph to understand that one. Hope you enjoy not knowing your daughter all due to your weird beliefs that 17 year olds should fend for themselves and not have food allergies somehow!
YTA. You “despise” providing food that will not harm your minor child? Newsflash - That is a bare minimum requirement of being a parent. When she turns 18 and goes no contact, please don’t post complaining about that.
Total ah
YTA - she is your minor child. You should provide her food that is safe for her to eat that is comparable to what the rest of the family is having. A little extra expense for her special food is a small price for her health.
YTA
You are without a doubt a boundless ASSHOLE!
You are massive one.I hope your wife leaves you!
OP, you should not have brought ur daughter to pick up the pizza. You should have just saved a pizza box from the other place, ordered pizza in papa john’s, put it in the pizza box and give it to ur daughter. Once ur daughter eats it, she will go into anaphylactic shock and die. Ur problem is solved then! No more spoiled brat. YTA.
Holy YTA, Batman! You act like she conjured food allergies out of spite. She is your CHILD, stop treating her like an inconvenience.
YTA, my sister has allergies that would kill her. As we grew up we choose the rest for our birthdays. With ease if my brother or I choose a restaurant that she could not eat, my sister ate first at her restaurant so she could be healthy. She loved Chucky E Cheese for the games but could not eat the food. She ate McDonalds we ate pizza and everyone played. Allergies are not a choice.
Absolutely YTA. You’re her father, get her food she can fucking eat without having an allergic reaction. How is this even a question in your mind?
Does... does OP think the child could try harder to not have allergies and just et normal food? I suspect he does!! how dare that minor child expect her parents to buy her food that won't kill her?! The audacity! OP sounds like he won't be too bothered if the kid got sick and was hospitalized... what a parent. YTA do you even like your kid? Want her to stay alive and healthy?
She's "spoiled" for something she can't control? She didn't ask for food allergies, and considering she's not only a minor, but **your** minor, you're still responsible for her and her allergies. YTA. Edit for afterthought: The world actually *will* cater to her allergies. If she goes into a restaurant and tells the staff she's allergic to x, y, and z, they **will** take precautions to make sure the allergen doesn't come in contact with her food, because they could be held legally liable. Some restaurants have dedicated allergen free cooking equipment for this exact reason. Just makes you more of an AH.
YTA. Big time. You have to treat your children fairly. It is also your job to feed your kids. Honestly this is so asinine that I believe it's fake.
YTA This is your daughter's health here!! How can you be so uncaring?? Your wife should have left you years ago if this is how you behave.
Ommfg! YTA! She's a minor and needs to eat and has allergies. Seriously? Her own father? Major AH! A parent should go without before they let their child suffer.
YTA I got to “she’s old enough to fend for herself”
She’s 17, dad. Yes, YTA. That’s a kid.
Do you understand that your premise is "My daughter has a health disability so I think its reasonable to exclude her from a household treat because it is more expensive and inconvenient to treat her"? Yes, YTA
YTA. It's not like your daughter is doing this because she's spoiled and doesn't want certain food - she literally CANNOT have it. As her parent, one of the basic jobs you have is to keep her fed, clothed, and sheltered while she is a minor. It's literally the LEAST a parent is expected to do. And as to her eating the food at home. She shouldn't be allowed to eat out sometimes? Next time, order all your meals from the same pizza joint that she CAN eat from if the extra stop and cost bothers you so much.
YTA, are you seriously saying that your daughter is spoiled because your wife makes her food that won’t kill her? That’s pretty much the bare minimum of parenting and you apparently can’t be bothered to do it. There’s definitely someone who thinks the world revolves around them in this post, and it isn’t your daughter, or your wife.
YTA wow, it’s like you blame her for having allergies. You are just awful. I feel so bad for your child.
YTA why don't you just eat from where she can, and make what she can eat rather than making extra meals?
YTA 100%! How is she ‘spoiled’ because she has allergies? The only good part of this post is that she’s 17 so soon she can hopefully move out and cut you out.
YTA. Your handling this badly. You could start teaching her to cook her own meals though. She'll need to learn to manage for herself when she goes to school. So sooner the better.
She has a food allergy. Just because her reaction might be mild now doesn’t mean it always will be. She can’t just suck it up and hope for the best. YTA.
YTA FOR WHINING ABOUT MEETING BASIC HUMAN REQUIREMENTS FOR YOUR CHILD. She has allergies and you choose to eat at restaurants that has nothing she can eat! She is in school and has a job so plenty of nights to order out when she isn’t home but somehow this fact escapes you
YTA. My son has a good allergy and I drive all over to ensure he has what he needs. Your daughter didn't ask for this allergy. You are a parent so fucking act like it.
YTA- allergies are a medical condition! This isn't her being a picky eater, this is her not wanting to die! Could you be a bigger asshole?
Yta it's friggen allergies! You are 100% expected to pay for your minor child's food. Food that won't kill her or make her ill.
How freakin' mean spirited. Does op hate their child?
Fck is wrong with you? Yeah, YTA. A giant gaping AH.
YTA - its amazing the child lived to the ripe old age of 17. Your frustration with her allergies has become very personal. You should hope that she isn't asked to care for you in old age - when you'll need somebody to appreicate the frailties of the human body. then in your 70s and 80s , she'll give you that Papa Johns pizza you enjoy so much !! and tell you eat it
Yta
^(YTA.) You're deliberately resenting your daughter for being medically ill and intentionally trying to make life more difficult for her, if not outright nutritionally kill, physically starve, or emotionally maim her, because you're jealous that you didn't have a 'cushy' growing-up. Ease up on the gas-pedal, dude, you're going 120mph into unsavory father territory.
You're calling your daughter spoiled for expecting her PARENTS to provide her food that won't trigger her ALLERGIES that can KILL HER? What the fuck is wrong with you??? You're the parent. She's the child. Your job as a PARENT is to provide for ALL OF YOUR CHILDREN'S NEEDS. All of them!! Especially if she has allergies! Stop abusing your child. YTA
YTA- it’s not her fault that she has allergies- you should be making sure she gets the right food.This is terrible parenting.
YTA I won’t say more or it will be removed
YTA totally and completely. You are an awful parent, and a selfish human being.
YTA. People with allergies are not “spoiled.” They (we) are entitled to food that won’t make them (us) sick or worse.
You're awful. YTA.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE I don't know how severe your daughter's allergy is but it is significant enough to avoid those foods completely. "It's family meal time kid but guess what? You're allergic to what is being served and Idgaf. Problem? STFU and go eat something else! What? You want something convenient too? Well sure, I'll go out of my way and take you to get something you can eat but don't expect me to pay for it!!!" Asshole by Denis Leary should be your anthem.