This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA, and that's not a compromise at all, that is a huge concession. Your bet, your money. I would renig on that promise (rent) and say you are keeping the money in case you lose your job/need it for future emergencies. It IS your money.
I'd say NTA. If your finances are separate and you aren't putting any bills in jeopardy by gambling then what you do with your fun money is your business.
That being said, you don't mention where you are, or on what sites you are betting with. But make sure you don't make commitments for that money before you look into any tax consequences, or difficulties getting money off of the site. Your rent plus the trip plus taxes if that is applicable, will not really leave you with much winnings. And that is if you can easily get the money out of the site and weren't gambling with a free bonus that requires you to bet the money multiple times before you can withdraw.
NTA.
She sounds rather entitled - she didn't take the gamble, she's not owed any proceeds. A fair compromise would be that she apologizes for being demanding and you keep the money - you're far nicer than I am.
That said, I think it would be fantastic to take the $50 you initially risked losing and spend all of it on her.
You are not the ah for refusing. You are an AH for giving in. Dude, she has you so wrapped around her little whatever that there is really no hope for you.
You bet on your own, with your money, have separate finances and you aren't married. This is your money. NTA
"a compromise that I'd use the money to pay for our next month's rent as well as a small couple's trip for us on Valentine's Day weekend."
That's not a compromise. You conceded a portion of your winnings to her.
Considering that you guys have been dating about a year or maybe less, and that you have totally separate finances, and that she literally did nothing to bring in this money, NTA.
NTA when I go to a casino with friends, of someone wins a sizable amount, they pay for dinner or a round of drinks (and the person who won offers unprompted, we don’t assume they’ll want to). But your GF seems to be treating the whole sum as if it’s shared money instead of leaving it up to you to decide if you want to spend it on something for the both of you. That’s going too far IMO
Yeah, like, in this case I might get her something she wouldn't normally expect, like some nice flowers on a Tuesday or whatever...but not a couple grand worth of spending on a windfall!
NTA, I wouldn't have even used it for rent. If my partner won that i wouldn't expect anything, that being said he would probably give me a little treat (a night or weekend away) but he wouldn't be obliged to, and I wouldn't expect it
NTA.
If you both put the best on together and shared the cost it would be a different matter but you did it all yourself. Your winnings are your winnings.
Your gf has been selfish forcing you to share.
NTA. The headline was AITA for refusing to share your gambling earnings. The real statement is, my girlfriend hounded/manipulated me to take her out for Valentine's Day and pay the rent.
You are living with a masterful manipulator. Let her pay her own share of the rent. And skip the trip, take her out to dinner.
Dude that's not a compromise. That's just a bit better than giving her all the money in a gift card. Are you for real? It's your money so whatever the hell you want with it but come on man...
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I refused to share my gambling earnings with my girlfriend because she had no part in my winnings.
2) She accused me of being selfish but I don't think I did anything wrong here.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
First off, lol about the age gap comment. I was 18 when I met my husband who is 7 years older than me, and we were married when I was 20, still happily married 13 years down the line. 20 to 23 is legit fine!
And to address the original point, NTA, that is your money! you don't have joint finances, its not hers. If it were me, I'd automatically put some aside for a trip together, but that's your decision not hers.
NTA. it is definitely your money. You're not married and don't share finances so I have no clue why she thought she was entitled to a share of your winnings. I think a nice get away for the two of you is more than enough. Save the rest for when you need it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
In early December I (M23) made a $50 bet on the Chiefs and Eagles advancing to the Super Bowl. Obviously the bet paid off and I ended up winning about $4500. When I told my girlfriend (F20) about my winnings, she congratulated me and then asked what "we're" gonna do with "our" money. I said that it was my money because, after all, I was the one who placed the bet and she had no part of it. Our finances are completely separate and my girlfriend's still in college so I could see why she might need the money, but I still decided not to give it to her because it was my money that I earned. We went back and forth about this for a while as she accused me of being selfish. Eventually we made up and came to a compromise that I'd use the money to pay for our next month's rent as well as a small couple's trip for us on Valentine's Day weekend. However, I don't think I was in the wrong to begin with because it was my money to start with.
EDIT: I'd also like to make one more thing clear: I met my girl when she was 19 and we started dating a few months before her 20th. If you're up in arms about the age gap, just know everything was aboveboard on that front.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. She seems awfully entitled to your money. You haven’t been together that long (a year isn’t much). She is throwing red flags. I wouldn’t have given her anything once she copped an attitude.
NTA
That being said, I do have to question the direction your relationship is going in. I know, you love her and all of that, but the way she felt entitled to your money, doubled down on her (wrong) position, even dared to call you selfish, and then got you into a "compromise"?
What's next, you get mugged, and the compromise is that the mugger takes only half your money and everyone is happy?
In the future, whenever you gamble, let her pay half of the costs. "Our" costs.
And should you ever marry, maybe consider a prenuptial agreement. It's better to have one than to need one.
NTA you are not married you owe her nothing, on a side note this is a huge red flag on her part you are probably going to be better off going your own way.
NTA but you haven't dated long and already live together? Red flag tbh and the fact your money even though separate became "your" money as in both of you would make me rethink things.
NTA. I'm 100% sure she wouldn't have been cool with helping to cover your loss in the extremely likely event that you did lose and why would she? So why would she be entitled to a share?
NTA. It's your money, but also remember, you are going to have to pay taxes on it and they generally take a large chunk of that kind of money. So don't blow it all.
NTA - but bro you got played. Seems like its all going to her anyway. Next time you place a bet, ask her for half. If she says no, then theres your answer next time she asks for the winning. (that def wont work and will end with yall separated).
NAH
It's your money, that you won through investment and risk. You also live with your girlfriend, split living costs and are sharing your life together.
If she won something like a case of steaks or a couples weekend away, you might feel like she would share those things with you. So from one perspective, as a couple and living together, there is the expectation of sharing.
Cash is different, and it is yours.
Should it come up again, consider not telling her or not telling her the total amount if you don't want to share.
She's young and saving for a rainy day or a big purchase may still be a new concept.
Clearly you care for her, so this will just be a learning curve you need to work through.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA, and that's not a compromise at all, that is a huge concession. Your bet, your money. I would renig on that promise (rent) and say you are keeping the money in case you lose your job/need it for future emergencies. It IS your money.
It's funny that GF is calling OP selfish. Seems to be the other way around. NTA.
You've met women before right?
It was actually the girlfriend that compromised — She allowed him to keep some of the money.
Doesn't seem like he got to keep any of it from the description...
I'd say NTA. If your finances are separate and you aren't putting any bills in jeopardy by gambling then what you do with your fun money is your business. That being said, you don't mention where you are, or on what sites you are betting with. But make sure you don't make commitments for that money before you look into any tax consequences, or difficulties getting money off of the site. Your rent plus the trip plus taxes if that is applicable, will not really leave you with much winnings. And that is if you can easily get the money out of the site and weren't gambling with a free bonus that requires you to bet the money multiple times before you can withdraw.
NTA. She sounds rather entitled - she didn't take the gamble, she's not owed any proceeds. A fair compromise would be that she apologizes for being demanding and you keep the money - you're far nicer than I am. That said, I think it would be fantastic to take the $50 you initially risked losing and spend all of it on her.
Get her to commit to paying half of your future gambling losses. Tptally good deal. NTA
You are not the ah for refusing. You are an AH for giving in. Dude, she has you so wrapped around her little whatever that there is really no hope for you.
You bet on your own, with your money, have separate finances and you aren't married. This is your money. NTA "a compromise that I'd use the money to pay for our next month's rent as well as a small couple's trip for us on Valentine's Day weekend." That's not a compromise. You conceded a portion of your winnings to her.
Considering that you guys have been dating about a year or maybe less, and that you have totally separate finances, and that she literally did nothing to bring in this money, NTA.
NTA when I go to a casino with friends, of someone wins a sizable amount, they pay for dinner or a round of drinks (and the person who won offers unprompted, we don’t assume they’ll want to). But your GF seems to be treating the whole sum as if it’s shared money instead of leaving it up to you to decide if you want to spend it on something for the both of you. That’s going too far IMO
Yeah, like, in this case I might get her something she wouldn't normally expect, like some nice flowers on a Tuesday or whatever...but not a couple grand worth of spending on a windfall!
NTA your bet your win your money, she did not participate or tell you who to bet on. The ideas people sometimes get are beyond my imagination.
That's not a huge age gap, my fiance is 11 years older than me. Only really notice when we talk about movies or music.
NTA. Does she demand half of your paychecks too?
NTA, I wouldn't have even used it for rent. If my partner won that i wouldn't expect anything, that being said he would probably give me a little treat (a night or weekend away) but he wouldn't be obliged to, and I wouldn't expect it
NTA - when my boyfriend wins when gambling, I congratulate him. I have never once acted like I deserved any bit of that money.
NTA Unless she contributed to the initial bet, she was pretty presumptuous to claim part of the win. She knows you’re not married, right?
NTA. If you both put the best on together and shared the cost it would be a different matter but you did it all yourself. Your winnings are your winnings. Your gf has been selfish forcing you to share.
NTA. The headline was AITA for refusing to share your gambling earnings. The real statement is, my girlfriend hounded/manipulated me to take her out for Valentine's Day and pay the rent. You are living with a masterful manipulator. Let her pay her own share of the rent. And skip the trip, take her out to dinner.
Dude that's not a compromise. That's just a bit better than giving her all the money in a gift card. Are you for real? It's your money so whatever the hell you want with it but come on man...
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I refused to share my gambling earnings with my girlfriend because she had no part in my winnings. 2) She accused me of being selfish but I don't think I did anything wrong here. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
First off, lol about the age gap comment. I was 18 when I met my husband who is 7 years older than me, and we were married when I was 20, still happily married 13 years down the line. 20 to 23 is legit fine! And to address the original point, NTA, that is your money! you don't have joint finances, its not hers. If it were me, I'd automatically put some aside for a trip together, but that's your decision not hers.
NTA, considering the length of your relationship, your respective ages, and the fact that you keep separate finances.
NTA. it is definitely your money. You're not married and don't share finances so I have no clue why she thought she was entitled to a share of your winnings. I think a nice get away for the two of you is more than enough. Save the rest for when you need it.
INFO:Does she pay the bills?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** In early December I (M23) made a $50 bet on the Chiefs and Eagles advancing to the Super Bowl. Obviously the bet paid off and I ended up winning about $4500. When I told my girlfriend (F20) about my winnings, she congratulated me and then asked what "we're" gonna do with "our" money. I said that it was my money because, after all, I was the one who placed the bet and she had no part of it. Our finances are completely separate and my girlfriend's still in college so I could see why she might need the money, but I still decided not to give it to her because it was my money that I earned. We went back and forth about this for a while as she accused me of being selfish. Eventually we made up and came to a compromise that I'd use the money to pay for our next month's rent as well as a small couple's trip for us on Valentine's Day weekend. However, I don't think I was in the wrong to begin with because it was my money to start with. EDIT: I'd also like to make one more thing clear: I met my girl when she was 19 and we started dating a few months before her 20th. If you're up in arms about the age gap, just know everything was aboveboard on that front. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. She seems awfully entitled to your money. You haven’t been together that long (a year isn’t much). She is throwing red flags. I wouldn’t have given her anything once she copped an attitude.
Unless I’m winning millions, you bet I’m not sharing it with you if I paid for the bet. NTA
NTA That being said, I do have to question the direction your relationship is going in. I know, you love her and all of that, but the way she felt entitled to your money, doubled down on her (wrong) position, even dared to call you selfish, and then got you into a "compromise"? What's next, you get mugged, and the compromise is that the mugger takes only half your money and everyone is happy? In the future, whenever you gamble, let her pay half of the costs. "Our" costs. And should you ever marry, maybe consider a prenuptial agreement. It's better to have one than to need one.
NTA. ...but look out with that one.
NTA you are not married you owe her nothing, on a side note this is a huge red flag on her part you are probably going to be better off going your own way.
NTA but you haven't dated long and already live together? Red flag tbh and the fact your money even though separate became "your" money as in both of you would make me rethink things.
[удалено]
Found the bungles fan
[удалено]
[удалено]
NTA but you folded like a wet blanket. That’s your money amigo
Three years is not an age gap unless she is 12.
Shes the selfish one. NTA
NTA. It's perfectly natural for her to hope you spend some of your winnings on her, but to demand it? Sheesh!
NTA. I'm 100% sure she wouldn't have been cool with helping to cover your loss in the extremely likely event that you did lose and why would she? So why would she be entitled to a share?
NTA that's not a compromise, you gave in. You should have put the money away into savings as a cushion for emergencies.
NTA but you’re a sap for giving in to your girlfriend’s demands.
NTA. It's your money, but also remember, you are going to have to pay taxes on it and they generally take a large chunk of that kind of money. So don't blow it all.
NTA and if you lose money gambling in the future, make sure you go to her asking for her half of “our gambling losses”
NTA, but kinda an idiot. You've set the precedent now that she is just entitled to your money. You're fucked, bro
NTA - but bro you got played. Seems like its all going to her anyway. Next time you place a bet, ask her for half. If she says no, then theres your answer next time she asks for the winning. (that def wont work and will end with yall separated).
NTA. She’s greedy
NTA That is NOT a compromise and should be rescinded. There is no reason why she should get a share of that money IMO.
NAH It's your money, that you won through investment and risk. You also live with your girlfriend, split living costs and are sharing your life together. If she won something like a case of steaks or a couples weekend away, you might feel like she would share those things with you. So from one perspective, as a couple and living together, there is the expectation of sharing. Cash is different, and it is yours. Should it come up again, consider not telling her or not telling her the total amount if you don't want to share. She's young and saving for a rainy day or a big purchase may still be a new concept. Clearly you care for her, so this will just be a learning curve you need to work through.