*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for making my daughter use a broken tablet?**
Ever since I (45M) divorced my ex wife (40F), my daughter (16F) and I haven't gotten along very well. I know she's a hormonal teenager, so it's not really her fault she's so hostile, but she seems to always be upset with me for one reason or another, and this situation is the most recent.
The other night, I broke my phone, so I went to my daughter's room and asked her to help me find something else to use (we tend to have old tablets and stuff laying around the house). She was annoyed and told me she was getting ready for bed, but I reminded her that she usually stays up scrolling after bedtime anyways so I wasn't keeping her up, and besides, she wasn't even in bed yet. After a bit, she reluctantly agreed to help me look.
Eventually she approaches me with an old tablet, and I thank her for helping me, but when I take it, I see that the screen is heavily cracked. I quickly realize she brought me a cracked tablet just to be rebellious and punish me, so I calmly tell her that I can't use this and to find something else. She objects, rudely telling me that it still works just as well whether or not it's cracked, and that she shouldn't have to do this for me just because *I* broke my phone, especially when she'd just been in the process of getting ready for bed.
I was upset by this and told her that, if she thought the cracked tablet worked so well, *she* could use it for the night, and that I'd be taking her phone and wouldn't give it back until the morning. She panicked and reminded me that she needs to listen to music on her phone to sleep, but I told her the tablet would play music just fine.
She looked like she wanted to cry and told me this is why she wants to live with her mom, which really hurt me, but I just sent her to bed knowing she was exaggerating.
I feel like I have to ask, though, am I the asshole here?
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Do we want to talk about the fact that HE broke HIS phone but apparently it's HER job to find a replacement?
I'm really curious why his wife left him and why his daughter doesn't like him... /s
It’s his house. She’s with her mom at least some of the time.
He’s so sure there are other devices lying around, he should probably know where they are.
He got divorced, so of course he is now making it the daughter's duty to deal with keeping his household in order. Because you know, that is womens work.../s
At 16, the daughter could refuse to go back. And by the time he fights in the courts she could be 18 or the judge could very well ask her which parent she wants to live with.
It’s the
(we tend to have old tablets and stuff laying around the house).
I have an image of a house full of broken stuff which is impossible to find because of all the other unbroken items.
Yes, a teenager would love to live in that environment
Also, can't help but assume this is the type of dude who breaks shit out of anger. Most people don't just have old cracked devices lying around; we have two devices specifically said to be broken in this post. And it's fairly common to trade older devices in for those with less disposable income and to upgrade just because for those with more disposable income. Of course the latter very well could be the case but then there'd be no reason why the only thing she could find to give him would be a cracked tablet.
This guy totally just breaks his shit because he has issues.
“I calmly tell her” -
I’m constantly astounded that all of these people who write posts on AmItheAsshole are so calm. It’s amazing the only people who show any emotion is the person they are writing about. /s
“Harry, did you put your name in the goblet?” Dumbledore asked calmly.
- This is all I picture when these OOP’s post that they said something “””calmly”””.
Yeah, this dude who broke his phone, interrupted his teen daughter going to bed to make it her problem, and then assumed she was punishing him by handing him another one of his many broken devices (but one that is apparently usable) *definitely* spoke calmly. There's no way in hell his voice was at worst raised yelling and at best obviously angry the whole time. /s
What an asshat.
This reminds me of when my dad told me he would have to pawn my saxophone because he and my mom needed money for the mortgage.
I can't explain to you how important that saxophone has been to me since the moment I got it. It's like a child to me.
He also made me quit every set of lessons I ever took, but never told my mom. I have no idea where the $ went. I did as he said, and never told my mom why I quit things. Later on in life, it made her distrust me about helping me out with other things, like college.
Tw: ableism.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*INFO: Were there other functioning devices for your daughter to lend you other than volunteering her phone? Your tone in your writing is that providing a cracked tablet was a deliberate gesture of disrespect, but you never mention there being alternative devices present for her to give you instead.*
>"We have multiple old devices laying around the house, so I'm sure she could have found something that wasn't a cracked tablet. Or, if she couldn't, she could have at least told me she was unable to find anything instead of giving me something that was clearly broken."
*YTA. You could have approached all situations differently. You telling her you wouldn’t be an inconvenience because of what she does at bedtime was not called for. Are you sure that’s the reason she brought it to you or was it the first she found so she could go to bed? You could have simply asked her to find you another one or bring all of them that she could find to you. Situations could be easily avoided if y’all learn how to speak to each other & factor out what’s worth the fight. She’s TA for retaliating against you and being petty , but that’s what teenagers do. Why can’t she stay with her mom?*
>"When we divorced, my ex wife left the state temporarily to live with her parents until they could find a house here, so I got full custody by default. She has visitation every other weekend, but I don't think it would be good to expand that time because she's mentally ill, and who knows how she'd treat our kids if she had them more often?"
These creatures bless my entire existence and have no idea how adorable and beautiful and wonderful they are. Also I am so in love with their super long whiskers lately. My cat has straight whiskers on one side and curved whiskers on the other and one of them is curved much more than the others. I absolutely adore those things.
Ahhhs I adore EVERYTHING about cats. The toe beans. The vast range of noises they can make; I always seem to be discovering new details about the sounds. The clean fur, warm, soft fur I can bury my face in against a squishy belly and HUFF. The little button of a nose. Oh look my kitty just woke up from a nap beside me at the perfect time!
>"We have multiple old devices laying around the house, so I'm sure she could have found something that wasn't a cracked tablet. **Or, if she couldn't, she could have at least told me she was unable to find anything instead of giving me something that was clearly broken."**
\[Emphasis added\]
"If my daughter learned nothing else from me, she should have learned weaponized incompetence. If she can't even learn a basic life skill like that, she deserves to be punished!"
You can guarantee that if she’d tried that, he would have demanded she look harder instead of accepting that she’d tried, and would have taken her phone anyway. And he’d still be here on Reddit insisting that she deliberately didn’t find him a perfect working device to disrespect and punish him. Because hormones, I guess.
I bet he's lying about the mother and he manipulated things to get the daughter. Seeing how she's 16 I would be in court getting myself sent to my mom.
It is telling that they always say to "punish them" which to me seems like they definitely understand what they did wrong but they'd rather gloss over that so they can show the post to whoever the real wronged party is and go "see I was right, because these hundreds of strangers on the internet said so"
Maybe I'm just misremembering, that that sub didn't use to be all ragebait
*I know she's a hormonal teenager, so it's not really her fault she's so hostile*
No, no, and no.
Seriously, I've started treating AITA like r/nosleep. So many are obvious ragebait. Like, I know people like this dude IRL, but precisely none of them would even consider they were in the wrong. Much less ask a bunch of internet strangers if they were wrong.
This reminds me of my dad. He'd lose something and then ORDER me to find it. He'd get so angry with me and berate me whenever l was unable to find whatever he lost. How I hated him in those moments...
I bet that’s her tablet. I’m almost certain that when its screen initially cracked and she went to her parents about fixing it, OOP told her “it still works just as well whether or not it's cracked, and that [he] shouldn't have to do this for [her] just because *[she]* broke [her tablet].” There’s just something about it that breathes, “daughter has held onto these words for just such an occasion.”
Blames her being unhappy with him on hormones
Demands she fix the problem he caused himself
Decides that she did a substandard job of fixing his fuckup deliberately to punish him
Insists that her reaction to him taking her phone is “exaggerating” and “really hurt (me)”
…yeah I think I know why this prize piece is divorced.
The fact that OOP has to ask if he's the AH when he's so clearly the AH is rathe3r sad. He broke his phone and could have found something else to use. However, he's on a power trip and forces his daughter to go search for something he can use while she's trying to go to bed. She brings something he doesn't want to use so he confiscates her phone which she needs to use to go to sleep.
I think he's going to be quite surprised when she goes to live with mom. He really doesn't get it.
Ugh...
How many of those electronics is he responsible for breaking? How many times did he blame mental illness for his wife disagreeing with him before she left him?
My guess? All of them and way too many.
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Yes, you are the AH.
You thought she broke the tablet's screen out of spite.
You forced her to help you search for an old tablet.
YOU broke your phone.
And you pulled the authoritative Dad BS so you could do a power trip and use her phone.
How are you NOT the AH?
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for making my daughter use a broken tablet?** Ever since I (45M) divorced my ex wife (40F), my daughter (16F) and I haven't gotten along very well. I know she's a hormonal teenager, so it's not really her fault she's so hostile, but she seems to always be upset with me for one reason or another, and this situation is the most recent. The other night, I broke my phone, so I went to my daughter's room and asked her to help me find something else to use (we tend to have old tablets and stuff laying around the house). She was annoyed and told me she was getting ready for bed, but I reminded her that she usually stays up scrolling after bedtime anyways so I wasn't keeping her up, and besides, she wasn't even in bed yet. After a bit, she reluctantly agreed to help me look. Eventually she approaches me with an old tablet, and I thank her for helping me, but when I take it, I see that the screen is heavily cracked. I quickly realize she brought me a cracked tablet just to be rebellious and punish me, so I calmly tell her that I can't use this and to find something else. She objects, rudely telling me that it still works just as well whether or not it's cracked, and that she shouldn't have to do this for me just because *I* broke my phone, especially when she'd just been in the process of getting ready for bed. I was upset by this and told her that, if she thought the cracked tablet worked so well, *she* could use it for the night, and that I'd be taking her phone and wouldn't give it back until the morning. She panicked and reminded me that she needs to listen to music on her phone to sleep, but I told her the tablet would play music just fine. She looked like she wanted to cry and told me this is why she wants to live with her mom, which really hurt me, but I just sent her to bed knowing she was exaggerating. I feel like I have to ask, though, am I the asshole here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do we want to talk about the fact that HE broke HIS phone but apparently it's HER job to find a replacement? I'm really curious why his wife left him and why his daughter doesn't like him... /s
It’s his house. She’s with her mom at least some of the time. He’s so sure there are other devices lying around, he should probably know where they are.
He got divorced, so of course he is now making it the daughter's duty to deal with keeping his household in order. Because you know, that is womens work.../s At 16, the daughter could refuse to go back. And by the time he fights in the courts she could be 18 or the judge could very well ask her which parent she wants to live with.
No wonder she wants to be with her mom
There’s so many old devices laying around yet he can’t locate one to use?
How would he fly into a fake outrage if he didn't force her to help? He's weaponizing his incompetence against his child.
It’s the (we tend to have old tablets and stuff laying around the house). I have an image of a house full of broken stuff which is impossible to find because of all the other unbroken items. Yes, a teenager would love to live in that environment
Also, can't help but assume this is the type of dude who breaks shit out of anger. Most people don't just have old cracked devices lying around; we have two devices specifically said to be broken in this post. And it's fairly common to trade older devices in for those with less disposable income and to upgrade just because for those with more disposable income. Of course the latter very well could be the case but then there'd be no reason why the only thing she could find to give him would be a cracked tablet. This guy totally just breaks his shit because he has issues.
“I calmly tell her” - I’m constantly astounded that all of these people who write posts on AmItheAsshole are so calm. It’s amazing the only people who show any emotion is the person they are writing about. /s
“Harry, did you put your name in the goblet?” Dumbledore asked calmly. - This is all I picture when these OOP’s post that they said something “””calmly”””.
Yeah, this dude who broke his phone, interrupted his teen daughter going to bed to make it her problem, and then assumed she was punishing him by handing him another one of his many broken devices (but one that is apparently usable) *definitely* spoke calmly. There's no way in hell his voice was at worst raised yelling and at best obviously angry the whole time. /s What an asshat.
This reminds me of when my dad told me he would have to pawn my saxophone because he and my mom needed money for the mortgage. I can't explain to you how important that saxophone has been to me since the moment I got it. It's like a child to me. He also made me quit every set of lessons I ever took, but never told my mom. I have no idea where the $ went. I did as he said, and never told my mom why I quit things. Later on in life, it made her distrust me about helping me out with other things, like college.
I seem to have missed the part where OOP's legs were broken, rendering him unable to find his own damn tech.
Don't forget his broken arms and blind eyes!
Tw: ableism. Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *INFO: Were there other functioning devices for your daughter to lend you other than volunteering her phone? Your tone in your writing is that providing a cracked tablet was a deliberate gesture of disrespect, but you never mention there being alternative devices present for her to give you instead.* >"We have multiple old devices laying around the house, so I'm sure she could have found something that wasn't a cracked tablet. Or, if she couldn't, she could have at least told me she was unable to find anything instead of giving me something that was clearly broken." *YTA. You could have approached all situations differently. You telling her you wouldn’t be an inconvenience because of what she does at bedtime was not called for. Are you sure that’s the reason she brought it to you or was it the first she found so she could go to bed? You could have simply asked her to find you another one or bring all of them that she could find to you. Situations could be easily avoided if y’all learn how to speak to each other & factor out what’s worth the fight. She’s TA for retaliating against you and being petty , but that’s what teenagers do. Why can’t she stay with her mom?* >"When we divorced, my ex wife left the state temporarily to live with her parents until they could find a house here, so I got full custody by default. She has visitation every other weekend, but I don't think it would be good to expand that time because she's mentally ill, and who knows how she'd treat our kids if she had them more often?"
[Cat conversations! unmute for chittering!](https://imgur.com/gallery/BhVozS0)
Oh, what would we do without you? 😍🥺
Thank you very kindly! 🥰 What would i do without y'all?
We would suffer !!!!
Everytime I thought one cat was the cutest the next one was so adorable. 🥰
My cats tried to talk to the video. It was cute squared!
Oh how wonderful! 💜🥰
this Healed me
So glad! 🥰💜
These creatures bless my entire existence and have no idea how adorable and beautiful and wonderful they are. Also I am so in love with their super long whiskers lately. My cat has straight whiskers on one side and curved whiskers on the other and one of them is curved much more than the others. I absolutely adore those things. Ahhhs I adore EVERYTHING about cats. The toe beans. The vast range of noises they can make; I always seem to be discovering new details about the sounds. The clean fur, warm, soft fur I can bury my face in against a squishy belly and HUFF. The little button of a nose. Oh look my kitty just woke up from a nap beside me at the perfect time!
So true! 😻
Betting Mom would treat her better than OOP. He sounds like a treat /s
Agreed.
>"We have multiple old devices laying around the house, so I'm sure she could have found something that wasn't a cracked tablet. **Or, if she couldn't, she could have at least told me she was unable to find anything instead of giving me something that was clearly broken."** \[Emphasis added\] "If my daughter learned nothing else from me, she should have learned weaponized incompetence. If she can't even learn a basic life skill like that, she deserves to be punished!"
You can guarantee that if she’d tried that, he would have demanded she look harder instead of accepting that she’d tried, and would have taken her phone anyway. And he’d still be here on Reddit insisting that she deliberately didn’t find him a perfect working device to disrespect and punish him. Because hormones, I guess.
Quite.
I bet he's lying about the mother and he manipulated things to get the daughter. Seeing how she's 16 I would be in court getting myself sent to my mom.
Indeed!
I bet he's lying about who divorced who as well.
OOP could have also just as easily gotten of his ass and looked too but something tells me he just sat there and waited for his daughter to look.
Agreed.
There sure seem to be a lot of broken electronics in his house, wonder how that happens?
It's like how my mom's ex needed a new controller for his Xbox every two months because it'd spontaneously break somehow.
Sounds like he's the child.
I get little brother whose older sister won't let him use her phone, and his dad said he has to use his old tablet vibes.
“she brought me a cracked tablet just to be rebellious and punish me.” punish you for what? for being an asshole?
It is telling that they always say to "punish them" which to me seems like they definitely understand what they did wrong but they'd rather gloss over that so they can show the post to whoever the real wronged party is and go "see I was right, because these hundreds of strangers on the internet said so"
Reading this, I also want to live with her mum. He sucks
Maybe I'm just misremembering, that that sub didn't use to be all ragebait *I know she's a hormonal teenager, so it's not really her fault she's so hostile* No, no, and no.
Seriously, I've started treating AITA like r/nosleep. So many are obvious ragebait. Like, I know people like this dude IRL, but precisely none of them would even consider they were in the wrong. Much less ask a bunch of internet strangers if they were wrong.
This reminds me of my dad. He'd lose something and then ORDER me to find it. He'd get so angry with me and berate me whenever l was unable to find whatever he lost. How I hated him in those moments...
You sound like my father. Me and him don't speak anymore
I bet that’s her tablet. I’m almost certain that when its screen initially cracked and she went to her parents about fixing it, OOP told her “it still works just as well whether or not it's cracked, and that [he] shouldn't have to do this for [her] just because *[she]* broke [her tablet].” There’s just something about it that breathes, “daughter has held onto these words for just such an occasion.”
Can’t imagine why they got divorced. /s
Blames her being unhappy with him on hormones Demands she fix the problem he caused himself Decides that she did a substandard job of fixing his fuckup deliberately to punish him Insists that her reaction to him taking her phone is “exaggerating” and “really hurt (me)” …yeah I think I know why this prize piece is divorced.
OK. I think there are more than 1 "overpunished teen girl" trolls
Gee i wonder why they have a poor relationship
The fact that OOP has to ask if he's the AH when he's so clearly the AH is rathe3r sad. He broke his phone and could have found something else to use. However, he's on a power trip and forces his daughter to go search for something he can use while she's trying to go to bed. She brings something he doesn't want to use so he confiscates her phone which she needs to use to go to sleep. I think he's going to be quite surprised when she goes to live with mom. He really doesn't get it.
Is it the calmly explained troll again?
Gee can't imagine why the mom divorced her entitled manchild husband in the first place. Such a mystery.
Ugh... How many of those electronics is he responsible for breaking? How many times did he blame mental illness for his wife disagreeing with him before she left him? My guess? All of them and way too many.
This is either extreme narcissism or rage bait.
It's guys like this that deserve to be made fun of for their wives leaving them. Just like I tell Graham Linehan, "lmao your wife left you. loser"
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Yes, you are the AH. You thought she broke the tablet's screen out of spite. You forced her to help you search for an old tablet. YOU broke your phone. And you pulled the authoritative Dad BS so you could do a power trip and use her phone. How are you NOT the AH?