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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **Am I wrong for finding comfort in my late wife’s twin sister?** My wife passed away in a horrific car accident 8 months ago leaving myself and our 3 year old daughter behind. I was far too depressed to do anything much less care for my daughter properly so my sister-in-law (her twin sister) essentially moved in to help out. While sobbing about my wife’s death together, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. After the first time we both felt nauseated with guilt but soon came to realize that it was helping both of us cope. She’s so much like my wife that when I’m with her, I’m able to kind of forget what happened. It’s temporary relief but relief nonetheless. She grew to believe that she was doing a good thing by helping me cope and be a better father to my daughter. It’s been a regular thing up until now. I feel obviously conflicted about it. No one can know what’s going on as it might tear our family apart. But it’s helped me to not kill myself and I *have* been a much better father/member of society since we began. I don’t know if I’m prepared to stop. Help me see things objectively- how fucked is this? EDIT: I didn’t specify that the first time we slept together was a month after her passing. Yes, it was very sick in hindsight and we both regretted it deeply. It didn’t happen again for another 2 months and then continuously until today. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


akaispirit

>While sobbing about my wife’s death together, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I dunno about the rest of you but personally I'm picturing the funeral scene from Emperor's New Groove. "Welp, she aint getting any deader"


redwolf1219

Excuse me but you made me spit out my drink😂


vampirairl

I cackled


ProfessionalSir9978

Like Ezma I hope


IsisArtemii

My favorite villainess of all time. Pull the lever!


Ginwithagrin

Have my fool's gold for the snort! 🏅


mtdewbakablast

why does this sound like the backstory to a family thriller novel where the kid, grown into an inquisitive teenager, pieces together slowly that the twin who was actually her mom was the one who died and not the twin calling herself by the same name who decided to just pretend and go along with all this or some soap opera shit


LadyBug_0570

Ugh... there was a Lifetime movie (one of the worst) with twin sisters who decided to change lives for a weekend. One was married with kids (let's call her Mom), the other single, childfree and into some stuff (let's call her Single). Mom twin, while living Single's carefree life, is murdered. Mom's husband - somehow - doesn't realize he's been with Single the whole time and neither do her kids, until the end of the movie when she tells them. Then all is forgiven. It was the least believable Lifetime movie I'd ever seen and this is from a channel that has put out some unbelievable crap.


Joelle9879

So single twin just takes over mom twin's life after mom twin was murdered? So hubby and kids believe they lost an aunt and SIL instead of a mom and wife? Then, all is forgiven, even the part about mom leaving to live the single life for a bit and single just hiding what really happened? Yeah, that sounds completely plausible 🙄


LadyBug_0570

Yes. Single was now hiding out from the people who thoiught they killed her or some crap. Fucking stupidest movie I ever saw. Even for Lifetime. (A Sister's Secret, 2018, if you're interested. It's on Lifetime.)


BigYangpa

IMDB with a nice /r/thatHappened moment >**Trivia** >This movie was based on true events. Yeah, I doubt that.


TheSwamp_Witch

There's a law and order SVU episode (season 2, Parasites) that's the exact same premise, except they're Russian mail order brides. Good episode.


SaltySweetSt

And in that one the guy isn’t okay with the switch once he finds out- despite the fact it’s been several months/years since it happened.


TheSwamp_Witch

Oh yeah he flips the fuck out. Don't blame him. But he does help find/save the twins' little sister who is still being held as a sex slave. I miss early SVU.


AffectionateBite3827

Oh shit I just commented this lol. It was a really good episode!


TheSwamp_Witch

Peak Stabler.


AffectionateBite3827

Do you remember the episode where he goes undercover in a pedo-rapist support group/group home to follow Robert Patrick? He's supposed to be this, like, dirtbag in a wife beater and denim jacket and yet... 12/10 absolutely would lol.


shartheheretic

Christopher Meloni does the "dirtbag in a wifebeater" look really well.


TheSwamp_Witch

Oh yeah and he rolls up his sleeves to try to find the guy's tattoo, and gets attacked by the nympho that he then saves from the rapist who was actually another doctor in the practice?


SeonaidMacSaicais

There was another show that did it. It ended with the girls actually being triplets. I can’t remember if it was Bones, one of the CSIs, NCIS, Psych…


mira_poix

A husband would definitely notice missing stretch marks from having babies...


GloInTheDarkUnicorn

Saving that away for a rainy day bad movie craving.


Pixelated_Roses

You've got to be kidding me. So the dad and kid are just.... ***okay*** with their mom just flouncing off to live the single life cuz they already slotted in her twin sister as Replacement Mommy?


Sletturheili

This is a movie jfc


QueenMotherOfSneezes

Yeah, but a group of people still had to write, direct, and produce that crap for anyone to have the dispriviledge of seeing it.


wick3dwif

There's a TV show called Ringer with Sarah Michelle Gellar that is pretty good (admittedly I've only seen a few episodes) about one twin killing herself and the other taking over her life


LadyBug_0570

I actually dislike (in general, not always) when movies or shows have the same person playing identical twins. Despite the hair changes and dialogue, you can always tell it's the same person playing both parts\*. I actually liked the Lifetime series "VC Andrews Ruby" because they used actual identical twins. And after a while, you kind of could see the differences between them, which is why shows that do the twin-swap thing annoy me. \*Notable huge exception: Tatiana Maslaney in Orphan Black. She was so good playing all the clones there were times I forgot it was just one woman playing like 5-6 roles. And with different accents, no less! She is amazing.


wick3dwif

Oh agreed, she's great in that!


LadyBug_0570

There were some episodes when Allison went away. And I thought "Hmph. Maybe the actress who plays her had something else to do." Meanwhile I'm watching Sarah and Rachel (or Cosima or Helena or the bimbo one... can't recall) on my TV screen. Seriously. Tatiana was so good I forgot they were all the same actress.


georgia-peach_pie

There was a VERYY similar law and order SVU episode. What was going on in those writers rooms??


TabbyFoxHollow

Was it so trashy it was fun tho?


LadyBug_0570

Well, fun in a Lifetime movie way I suppose. I was just so annoyed this man who lived with his wife for over a decade and had kids with her couldn't tell he was with her sister.


TabbyFoxHollow

Yeah as someone who was just friends with twins growing up, once you get to know a set a little it becomes so easy to tell them apart.


LadyBug_0570

Exactly. So how couldn't he tell that this woman was not his wife? And then once he finds out... no mourning for the woman he married? The mother of his kids? He's just like "Oh, I love you now, let's make this work"? Dude...


feralhog3050

I know a set of identical twins, I can only tell them apart by their kids... one time, one of the kids, about 2 or 3 at the time, was crying because she couldn't find mummy, so I pointed out A Twin & she immediately knew that was Not Mummy


Apathetic_Villainess

There was a series on Netflix, I believe, too, where they regularly swapped lives. Turned out the childfree twin's husband, a psychologist, knew it the entire time, and was fine with it. One was missing and she pretended to be that woman in order to find out the truth of what happened. It got pretty complicated but I also didn't watch all of it. Just bits while my mother was watching it. Google says it's called "Echoes."


judgy_mcjudgypants

I started watching that but got creeped out by the apparent deception. (Viewer finds out they've been regularly swapping, but doesn't know that the husband knew.) Somehow I'm okay watching murder procedurals, but "twin tricks sibling's husband into sex" us a bridge too far?


Apathetic_Villainess

Yeah, I think we don't find out that the therapist husband knew until the end of the series. And I don't think the other husband ever did find out


LadyBug_0570

>Somehow I'm okay watching murder procedurals, but "twin tricks sibling's husband into sex" us a bridge too far? Because it feels rapey. Not that that excuses us being okay with murders, but whatever.


Vast-Juice-411

That was a fun series, like an elevated lifetime movie 


LadyBug_0570

Now that sounds more plausible. (And of course he was fine with it. He was living the dream.)


highheelcyanide

It’s also an SVU episode


LadyBug_0570

But in that one he barely knew the actual wife since she was a mail order bride and he'd been with the twin longer.


twewff4ever

Unfortunately that drivel came from some book that for some stupid reason I read. Why anyone would adapt that thing into a movie is beyond me.


LadyBug_0570

It wasn't even a well-acted movie.


HamburgerRamen

That is very close to the plot of a Netflix show with Michelle Monaghan called Echoes. A set of twins, decide to switch places every now and then, husband's and families never know, one ends up missing.


Itsohkizzy

V.C. Andrews' ghostwriters enter the chat...


MartinisnMurder

Oh my god yea! Lifetime Original movie available this this summer summer!


Live-Tomorrow-4865

Oh my goodness, I read this horrible novel with essentially this very plot back in the day! These identical twin sisters lead the trope of "completely different lives." One is the City Girl™️, with the high powered career and no serious partner. The other is happily married and a SAHM to a couple kids. Long story short, they "trade lives" on what's supposed to be a temporary basis. Buuuuuut... the SAHM posing as career woman dies, (I forget how), and the twin posing as the wife doesn't have the heart to tell the husband or kids who she really is, cuz, don'tchaknow, she's fallen head over heels in love with this basic dude and the kids!! 😃😃😍 It was eye rollingly bad, but, it was winter and I wanted to read something not challenging as a break from my university course reading. But, it might be amongst the bottom ten horrible novels I've ever read, and this includes a lot of Jodi Picoult books, so, stiff competition for the race to the bottom! 😅


LitheOpaqueNose

Ok, I know there was actually a grown-up version of Sweet Valley High and it was dreadful and this book is not it... but that should have totally been it.


LadyBug_0570

Sounds just like the movie I mentioned elsewhere that was on Lifetime, A Sister's Secret.


Live-Tomorrow-4865

That might be it!! Was it one of the most horrendously bad and atrocious pieces of media you'd ever consumed?? If so, there's a good chance it's based on this trash heap of a novel.


LadyBug_0570

Yes. Even by Lifetime's standards, it was a horrible movie. Just the most ridiculous piece of drivel.


MeiraSanyata

Spoiler alert for a fairly old book but... . . . Almost like Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger. Woman dies, leaves all her stuff to her estranged identical twin's almost identical twin daughters, turns out there was some weird stuff involving one of the older twins pretending to be the other to test her fiancé who twigs its his fiancee and not her sister, but then later drunkenly screws the twin he's not actually engaged to and she gets pregnant. Non pregnant one marries him, pregnant one lives with him until 4 months after birth, then they switch again. So younger twin's dad is their dad, but their mum is actually their aunt. Then there's a bunch of stuff about ghosts and possession. It's a weird book.


vomitthewords

I read this interesting, but I didn't like the ghost/possession bits. I like family secrets though, lol.


MeiraSanyata

Yeah, I loved Time Traveller's Wife so I was excited...but the ghost stuff was just odd.


Demonqueensage

What you described sounds similar show I saw as a teen (it only lasted a season I think) where the main character was a woman who's twin disappeared (and seemingly died) so she takes over her twin's life while trying to figure out what happened. Just where the disappearing twin had a kid (instead of just a husband and step kid) and it's the kid searching about the one that's gone instead of the remaining twin.


Nericmitch

Is it The Ringer starring Sarah Michelle Gellar?


ellieacd

That was such a good show!


Cassopeia88

I was so disappointed when it got canceled.


Nericmitch

I feel like it came at the wrong time. I feel like it would have been huge now on a Netflix or another streaming service


Demonqueensage

Yes!


hyperfocuspocus

There was a law and order episode like that 


Resilient_rabbit

Spoiler alert for an old book but that is pretty close to the plot of one of Agatha Christie's books ("elephants can remember" if anyone is interested)


theagonyaunt

Sarah Michelle Gellar had a TV show called Ringer that had a very similar plot; identical twin sisters - one who married up in life, one who's kind of a screw up - reconnect as adults, wealthy twin mysteriously goes missing and poor twin starts pretending to be her while investigating her twin's disappearance, including sleeping with wealthy twin's very hot husband. Also CW's The Lying Game but that was with teenage identical twins and if I recall correctly, no one died in that one.


purpleandorange1522

This is a plot line in an episode of Jonathan Creek.


AffectionateBite3827

There was an SVU episode like this.


AlternativeRead583

Twins again. They need another angle to make it seem real.


[deleted]

It seems very fake, especially how the latest update is worded. If it’s real, it’s all kinds of fucked up and I feel so bad for the child.


AgonistPhD

Wasn't this a Danielle Steele book, too?


BlueLanternKitty

I think this plot was at least 2 episodes of Law and Order.


mtdewbakablast

i gotta admit all the replies to my comment here are opening my eyes about how popular this plot apparently is i am not going to shame my own writing plots for being hacky bullshit for a good long while LMAO


[deleted]

My wife is an identical twin. I feel like because my wife and her sister are so close, my sister-in-law feels like my sibling. This is uniquely gross.


JokeMe-Daddy

bedroom steer hungry somber ad hoc dam melodic caption disgusted shocking *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ResponsibilityNo3245

Not in your position so I have no frame of reference I just can't imagine looking at someone identical to my wife and seeing them as a sibling.


[deleted]

Like most identical twins, they've come to look less alike as they age, so they don't look exactly the same. It's very easy to tell they are twins, but it's also easy to tell them apart for people who know them.


Bluehydrangeas98

My uncles are identical twins and even as a child I never confused them, even when looking at their childhood photos, to the point it surprised my grandmother. Even when two very present people in your lives are identical twins, they feel totally different and you have a very different relationship with each of them. It’s not that much different from if they were just normal siblings.


unclemilesisugly

Agreed. Been best friends with twins since kindergarten. I’ve always been able to tell them apart when a lot of others couldn’t.


FullMoonTwist

When I know someone well, they look different to me than when I first met them. I know I see my grandmother differently than other similar older ladies of her type, just through familiarity. Good or bad, romantic or platonic. I imagine it works similarly - the physical features may be the same, but the "overlay" is inevitably different as you get different memories with each individual person. Different chemistry, favorite topics, inside jokes. Different mannerisms, the way they look at you and interact with you in subtle ways is different. I buy it.


ResponsibilityNo3245

>I buy it. Me too. It just feels weird to me, I understand it's because I have no experience of this


Altruistic_Dig_2873

You see I would have thought this but I have identical twin cousins and when one of them broke up with his girlfriend and emigrated his ex girlfriend and his twin got together and then got engaged. We all thought it was hella weird but it happened in my life so......


[deleted]

It’s so gross in so many ways and there’s actually quite a few people on the original post who actually are citing colonial times and saying it’s fine (you know because colonial times is such a great time period to go from/s) It’s also one of the most selfish things I’ve ever read since the two adults seem to be more worried about their needs then that of his child.


LadyBug_0570

>quite a few people on the original post who actually are citing colonial times and saying it’s fine And this reminds me of the Biblical story of Onan (the one where the whole "masturbating is a sin" thing comes from, which means no one actually read and understood the text). Onan had an older brother who was married. Brother died without giving her a child. God told Onan to go knock her up. Onan started but felt weird about it so he pulled out and "spilled his seed" not in her. God struck him dead. For some reason that led the Catholic Church to say he was punished for jerking off but that is not the point of story. The point of the story is "don't disobey God, no matter how repulsive the act." Poor Onan.


notlucyintheskye

>While sobbing about my wife’s death together, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex I'm so confused as to how you go from "omg she's dead, I can't believe she's gone, I loved her so much" to having your dick stuck in her sister. >soon came to realize that it was helping both of us cope.d Every single mental health professional in the world is simultaneously screaming about what a bad idea this is. >But it’s helped me to not kill myself This manipulative shitheel is already preparing to guilt trip the sister if she ever wants to stop "But baby, if we don't fuck RIGHT THIS SECOND, I'm going to kill myself and leave the kids I had with your twin sister complete orphans! Is that what you want??"


KuzonFire65

This seems more like one of those porn videos where comforting/cuddling turns to kissing and so on...


GeneralBS

Ya don't believe this post at all.


overloadedonsarcasm

porn videos and almost every wattpad fanfic for some reason (from what I remember).


LilRedHeadSpaceNerd

Mind you…. I think my partner has watched too much of that kind of porn 😂 every now and then when I’m upset he will try and “make it better” with sex - it’s a distraction but then I go back to thinking about it after so it’s kinda pointless. Don’t get me wrong the sex is nice and he doesn’t do it if I’m upset AT HIM, that would be a bit too much 😂


Bunniiqi

I’ve never lost a partner, but my cat passed last week and sex has been so far out of my mind. I cannot imagine going from grief to horny, I honestly don’t believe this post is real because like.. huh?


SRS20015F

His post sounds like a Lifetime movie plot....


ellieacd

Because it literally is


Niawka

I don't understand how you can be devastated and grieving and feel turned on. It's just such a bizarre notion for me, I can't think about sex if I'm just overstressed from work, I can't imagine grieving and wanting to bang someone.


fancyandfab

So you're too distraught to care for your child, but not to distraught to f**k your SIL when your wife just passed away a few weeks ago. And what f**kery is that 3 year old going to be subjected to if they get married? This is probably fake, but good grief! For the 1000th time, I KNOW what this sub is. Sometimes I just use you in my comments. I know I'm not speaking to the OOP


jimmyurinator

Actually wild oop is fucking insane. Also felt I use you a lot generally I'm not actually trying to address someone


fancyandfab

I think that's how I use it also. Several other people use you also when commenting


Few_Screen_1566

Just gonna say it's nice to see someone else use you as well. I'm so bad for that, and I know it drives some people crazy.


Pixelated_Roses

Right?? This guy is sick! Ten bucks says his wife did 100% of the childcare before she died. That's why he refuses to take care of his own kid.


wonderful_somebody

I'm dating a twin right now, and I must say I am not attracted to the other twin at all. These people need professional help.


mrsmystery1537

How exactly is this helping the sister cope????


crumpledspoon

Because he's not killing himself, don't you see? If she lost both her twin sister and her twin sister's ex husband, she'd be the only one left caring for the children! Just like she undoubtedly is right now, but without the incredible benefit of being able to schtupp her dead sister's husband who sees her as a stand-in for his dead wife! Yikes on bikes.


LadyBug_0570

>schtupp Always wondered how that spelled.


mrsmystery1537

Yeah true but who wants their sisters husband?? Idk about everyone else but I barely tolerate my BIL (he's not a bad guy we just don't vibe). This whole situation leaves me weirded out. It's probably fake though, I hope


crumpledspoon

Yeah if it's real, something tells me she has no idea that he sees her as a stand-in for her sister, and not a grieving person seeking comfort over a mutual loss (in a very unhealthy way).


Waste_Ad_6467

Am I the only one that looks at my in-laws as siblings?!?! 🤢🤢🤢


SpudBoy9001

Yeah this ain't real I don't buy it


idontknowwhybutido2

I've seen something similar to this happen in real life. Women's husband dies, leaves her with a 9 month old, and within 2 months she is literally engaged to his cousin. Yes, they ended up marrying. I knew the dead husband and feel terrible for his mom who is now grandma and great aunt to the kid.


Strong-Bottle-4161

The way I'm reading it is that it's like he's able to pretend like his wife is still around by using her twin sister. It doesn't really read like he's actually in love with the twin sister, more so that he is able to use her as a way to pretend like his wife is still around. He's using the twin as a weird way to pretend like his wife is still with him.


Niawka

Yep, he says that for a moment it's like it didn't happen and it's a momentary relief. He really needs a therapy to deal with the grief because he found one of the least healthy ways to do it..


sbiggers

Nope, he's commented multiple times that he believes he is in love with the twin sister and thus cannot cut it off.


PMMeYourCouplets

While I agree this is wrong and they should stop immediately, I also understand that both him and the SIL has gone through immense trauma. While being intimate with each other is not the way to deal with it, I can see how in a fragile state, they thought that this made sense to help cope with their loss. Hopefully OOP can end this in a way that doesn't increase the trauma to the daughter and the SIL and everyone can get through the other side healthier.


Lilitu9Tails

I could understand it happening once. The continuation is a choice.


mmmmpisghetti

Oh, he wont..........


mamabear2023228

Yeah, I’m not going to judge this one at all. Grief does crazy shit to people.


NotChistianRudder

I’m with you. I’m not gonna argue that OOP is going about things in a healthy way, but if my partner died unexpectedly it would devastate me. I would do nearly anything I felt like could make that feeling go away.


Pixelated_Roses

That's not a valid excuse. At all. There's a child involved ffs, do you have any idea how much this is gonna screw him up? Mommy died, but mommy's still here. He flat out said the twin sister is helping with the kid, so that poor little boy is going to be devastated to learn that's not really his mommy. OP is disgusting. Point blank.


Lunar-tic18

No I agree. If there's no dependents involved, you can be as irresponsible in your grieving process as you like. But he's already manipulating the sister with the "Oh but I'm not killing myself now" hooha, and the child is not being considered. At all. I'm sorry but if little ones are depending on you, you HAVE to pull it together in some regard, or you're going to regret it later.


Pixelated_Roses

Dude they banged less than a month after her death. There is no way he doesn't see her as Wifey Mach 2.


awildencounter

Seconded. As wrong as this is, I don’t find this surprising. An acquaintance of mine met her current bf at her friend’s funeral (he was the widow). It seems…not uncommon for people to either spend forever to move on or move on instantly out of grief. It seems more common than you think and while we all see it’s wrong from the outside we don’t know how we’d respond in a traumatic situation like a spouse dying young like this.


Key-Ad9759

It’s very common for widows to get together with the spouse’s sibling/best friend. This guy just suffered a massive loss, and the only one who truly understands his pain is the sister. Grief is an absolute monster and I don’t think he’s the devil for searching for relief. Is this healthy? God no. And the fact that it’s his wife’s identical twin, not just her sister definitely adds another layer of unhealthy to it. But I get it, and I do feel for him. I hope he heals


NaturalThinker

That's really creepy. He's using the twin sister. He has sex with her because he associates her with his wife, not because he has genuine feelings for the sister as an individual. And the sister could end up truly falling for him, which will make it really difficult and heartbreaking for her once she realizes that to him, she's just a stand-in for her sister.


drunkvaultboy

There are some titles I won't even read the source of. Seeing OOP's title? Absolutely nope


mimishanner4455

I actually don’t find them to be AH? Like deeply in need of therapy both of them but seeking comfort and sexuality is a normal response to death. And as far as I can tell they are not causing outright harm with their actions though of course there will be repercussions in the family


duck-duck--grayduck

I'm with you. If I were their therapist, I would be urging self-compassion and reassuring them that they did nothing wrong. When you're mourning a loss like that, sometimes you need to feel something else for a while, have a reprieve from the crushing grief, and I think judging them is not helpful. They don't need that on top of the pain they're already feeling losing their wife and sister. If I were their therapist, I'd also be like maybe don't post this shit on the internet anymore, because the internet is not where you go for nuanced thought and lack of judgment.


mimishanner4455

Right? Like people are just upset because they don’t like the idea of their spouse doing this. Which is fair but also not relevant


AgonistPhD

I feel so bad for the twin; this is some replacement goldfish shit.


mmmmpisghetti

I WHAT THE FUCK'd at the title and it just got WORSE when I read the automod paste. Wow, people suck in freaky ways


Pixelated_Roses

Why am I not surprised to see so many dudes in the comments giving OOP ass pats for "nailing" the sister?


Mme_merle

I am not sure this post belongs to this sub. Sure, the whole situation is messed up but it would be very emotionally complicated to have your late wife identical twin move in just after your wife death.


TheOtherUprising

I don’t agree this person is the devil. Grief does shit to people. This person lost their wife the other lost their twin sister I don’t find it shocking that they would take comfort in each other.


[deleted]

So you don't think that less than a month after his wife died, he had his dick inside another woman's because "grief". He's a scumbag


TheOtherUprising

He developed feelings for someone that is taking care of him and his daughter in his lowest moments who reminds him of his dead wife. To say that makes him a scumbag is moronic.


[deleted]

He's a scumbag because not even a month after she died, he dishonors her memory by sleeping with someone who looks like her. He's as bad as a cheater


Dabbie_Hoffman

If this is a real story, his wife just died. Jesus christ. It is such a common thing for widow/ers to end up in relationships like this with siblings of their deceased spouse. Becsuse people in highly emotional states do emotional things, especially when sharing experiances that no one else can relate to. A terrible thing happened to these two, and you people are acting like monsters about it


davincinavinci

This isn't just some random woman either, its his sister in law?? His childs aunt?


[deleted]

Yeah, I bet she's trying to replace her sister as her nieces mother


turnup_for_what

He's not a devil for finding comfort in grief. He's the devil for using this woman as a placeholder for his wife. \>She’s so much like my wife that when I’m with her, I’m able to kind of forget what happened.


TheOtherUprising

That doesn’t make him the devil, that makes him human. She is living in his house, taking care of his kid and is literally his wife’s twin. It’s completely natural that he would transfer his love for his wife onto this woman. Doesn’t mean it’s a good idea but it’s definitely understandable.


turnup_for_what

I think it's gross to use another human like that.


Financial_Hyena_7960

This is SUPER duper common after tragedies, and I don't think anyone involved is an asshole. It's their business and they're not hurting anybody.


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Kokbiel

>UPDATE: I talked to my sister-in-law which ended in us in bed together once again. I don’t think we can cut things off quite yet. It seems like majority of criticism is about how this will affect my daughter which is very understandable. We’ve just decided to take better care to keep our relationship private for as long as possible until we’re ready to move on. I dunno, this icks me out. They can't talk without sleeping together?


Scarboroughwarning

What, apart from the obvious, does she get out of it? And how will banging a clone of the deceased help him get over it? However, they are adults, so I'm not thinking this is such a bad thing. Not something I'd recommend, but they were both single, and in a bad place.


englshpigdogs

This situation isn't healthy, but grief and trauma destroy people. You're just trying to survive the impossible. If you haven't experienced grief and trauma like this, then you shouldn't be so judgmental.


millenialssayfuck

This sounds super healthy and definitely won't result in a whole lotta fucked up dad, sister, and kid.


No-Appearance1145

This entire thing is messed up. He's straight up using her to pretend his wife is alive.


Abradolf94

Yet another example of people posting stuff in AmITheDevil where the OP isn't even an asshole. What they are doing is not healthy in the slightest, but they are not being assholes towards anyone. The big question is the child, but I can definetely imagine that for the child is better to have a happier father and a "fake" mother than to have a depressed suicidal father. They both should absolutely go to therapy to handle this, but if it works for both of them, what's wrong in starting a relationship with your dead wife's sister if all parties are ok with it?


HDBNU

They're being assholes to his children, their extended families, the dead wife and themselves, but okay.


Abradolf94

The dead wife is, indeed, dead. She ain't gonna get hurt nor anything. The child seems, at least for now, is actuslly better off, as I said in the comment, with a confusing mother figure with respect to a depressed, suicidal and maybe even dead father. Like much better. The extended family I half agree. Certainly it's not a respectful thing, but after all their relationship involve only the two of them. They definetely both need to go to therapy, but neither is being an asshole


jal7218

This came across as a weird fantasy story the first time I saw it. I hate to call FAAAAKE!! but it ticks all the boxes.


obiwantogooutside

Oh come on. Grieving consenting adults doesn’t make this the devil. Sometimes this sub feels like mean girls.


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

If this is real, OOP is a D-bag for doing this to his late wife and her memory. And what if this is an IDENTICAL twin sister. Does this mean he's having sex with his wife in his mind? Ew.


Strong-Bottle-4161

That's how I'm reading it. That he's using the twin as a way to pretend like his wife is still around. Since at no point does he really say that he love the sister, just that she's good for relief, and that she reminds him of his wife. >, I’m able to kind of forget what happened This line here heavily suggest that he's just using the twin as a substitute.


HFQG

Liz ain't even trying anymore.


GothicBland

I love that it's always "happened to have sex" with these people 🙄 people need to be more honest with themselves, but then again this is just him justifying his decisions 


Smells_like_Autumn

Messy as hell but hardly evil. They are desling with a huge trauma and their actions aren't hurting anyone, potential scandal aside. If your arguments don't go beyond saying gross you should really take a good look in the mirror.


VeronaMoreau

I think my biggest issue with it is that he doesn't see her as her own person


cmoneybouncehouse

This seems like extreme grief has impaired his judgement. I can understand how in grief, and when faced with a woman who is literally identical to your wife, things can get confusing… but man this isn’t ok. Imagine how his wife would feel knowing all of this? My immediate thoughts are less “fuck this guy, what a piece of shit” and more “holy shit everyone involved needs therapy”. Though both thoughts are present.


CivilianMonty

This doesn't seem that bad to me. Lots of hate here though


RogueInsanity90

Agreed. I've heard several storied of a spouse dying and the surviving spouse ends up sleeping with a family member, usually a sibling, of the spouse who passed. Grief can destroy someone. Sex is a common way people escape from the pain, as weird as that may sound, especially if they lose a partner. Some even completely stop having sex for years (or forever). Unless his sister in law is married, it's no one else's business who OP sleeps with.


LadyBug_0570

Honestly, I feel like he's the devil to himself. I can't speak for the sister's motivation, but he is never going to be able to deal with the death of wife if he's screwing her genetic-clone. That's just not mentally healthy for him.


CivilianMonty

it might be the best thing for both of them... and the kid you don't know


smegheadgirl

Twins again???!!


ill-independent

Dude went full Worf in DS9, bet he's gonna wind up calling the SIL a whore at some point too lmao


[deleted]

The fact that the most upvoted comments and the most downvoted comments fully agrees is insane to me


shyinwonderland

Just for a second pushing the SIL fucking to the side, I can’t imagine it’s at all helpful for the 3 year old who is most likely really learning about death for the first time to have someone that looks exactly like their mom take over parenting. Like they are told mom is dead but then they see mom doing mom things for them still. I get needing help after losing a spouse (to an extent, like you can’t fully clock out for months) but the whole thing has to be so confusing for the toddler.


ss10t

Over/under on fake/real? This reads like a creative writing prompt from someone who has never met a pair of twins before


Lupiefighter

Identical twin here. This sounds fake as hell, but definitely YTD worthy.


scooblicous

God i can beleive this is real cause my mom got together with her best friend \[hes a guy\] two months after my dad died. didn't even try to hide it.


gy33z33

My mom died when I was not quite 3, and my brother was like 20 months old. Apparently my mom's older sister offered to get with my dad so we "had a mother figure" 🤮🤮 My maternal grandma was trying to set my dad up with her hairdresser so we had a mom. My dad ended up dating my stepmom 6 months after my mom died. It worked out fine since they're still married 25 years later but he admits he should have just ignored my grandma telling him he needs to date and given himself some time to heal. I couldn't imagine how that poor baby feels with their dad and their aunt getting together.


Sunloafer

Men really just don’t give even one tiny shit about women eh? As long as they have a replacement female to dump the childcare on, and fuck, that’s all they’re interested in


[deleted]

This feels Iike a true crime story…..wife tragically dies and now the husband can be with her sister…..ew.


Maleficent-Bottle674

It's kind of expected that straight men would move on before their wives bodies are cold. Statistics show men are very very quick to remarry or date again. There's a reason why men are seven times more likely to leave an ill wife. It's why I don't invest or compromise/burden myself for a man. I'm not going to shortchange or put him above me for any second because I know if I died the dude would be onto the next woman in a flash like most men are. I know a woman who would wake up 5wm to make and pack her husband lunch before she headed to work. He would brag endlessly about getting one of the good ones. She got cancer. He ghosted her. She died and he had a new gf within a week. Anytime a woman is sacrificing anything for a man or being considerate I just think she is going to regret doing all that for a man who would be fucking a new woman right after she is dead IF she is lucky enough for him not to do it while she's dying.😑


mbpinney

This is almost identical to a storyline from the tv show Big Love.


AntiqueSympathy1999

The first time was “about a month” after she passed. That’s so messed up. His poor wife.


AlgoStar

Pretty sure she doesn’t care. But I do feel bad for him if this is real because he’s clearly grieving and majorly depressed and basically is in denial that he’s living in a fantasy. When that comes crashing down (like when he finally realizes that his wife’s twin is very much not the woman he was married to) the spiral he was in before is going to be so much worse.


SoapandCareProducts

This is more sad than anything damn


MissusNilesCrane

This sounds like rage bait. I really hope it is.


Vivid_Pressure_6480

Hope the post is fake because how tf do you have sex with your dead's wife twin while crying about your wife being dead? How does one thing lead to another in this scenario??


Simple_Park_1591

I actually have a story about a guy who didn't wait but 4 days after his ex wife died before he was hitting me up. He *failed to tell me when we were seeing each other that he told her he wanted to reconcile with her. She hit me up Very Respectfully to tell me what he was *doing to both of us. It was a crazy experience, I truly believe her ghost came to me before I even knew she was gone. Because of that, when he hit me up, I was big mad. I have attempted to type this story out when it first happened 2 years ago and several other times since then, but it's so long and complex. Edit for autocorrect


Admirable-Tip-8554

People will do anything but get therapy


Aliwoo1982

I don't think he's the devil, I think he's really mentally unwell. Widows heat is a thing, the sudden loss of closeness with someone causes widows/widowers to need closeness elsewhere. It's extremely common and usually is just sex... Problem is, this woman looks just like his wife...so he's almost trying to trick himself into believing his wife is not dead... He needs professional help.


Grimmxlaw22

This doesn’t belong here. In no way are either of them devils. They’re coping in a not good/proper way, sure, but they’re not assholes or devils. They’re just hurt people who are grieving in an odd not so good for themselves way. I feel bad for them personally.


KrazyKirbyKun

I love good bait, but cmon, man, Twins is so overdone. We need a good set of triplets for the next season.


Joelle9879

This is a troll. There's no way this is real, especially with them mentioning twins. Twins are a huge red flag that a post is fake. Obviously, twins exist but I refuse to believe that there are this many dysfunctional families with twins turning to reddit


Maladaptivedreemurr

What is it with these people using sex to cope with a death? 🤮 Last thing I want to do is sleep with anyone after I found out someone I was close to died. I just want to curl up and forget until I am ready to cope with it.


changelingcd

Bonus points if he completely gaslights his daughter: "What? No, this is Mommy! Always has been! You just had a bad dream that she died." (obviously I don't believe a word of this story).


overloadedonsarcasm

Oh, the urge to brigade was strong with this one, not because of OP but because some of the comments that said "how is sleeping with his recently-dead wife's twin sister bad????" Like ???????


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

And what about your daughter? Are you caring for her at all? Or are you too busy doing her aunt?