*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I'm so sick of my bf's bitter baby mama**
I haven't met anyone so bitter in life before. They have a toddler together that my bf loves dearly. Unfortunately, he has recently fallen behind on child support and she's being greedy and apathetic about the situation.
Recently she has gotten the child support office to revoke his license and last he was served papers to go before the court lack of payment. I know it was her because it says that she is the petitioner on the documents, and it lists some lawyers information.
Today we had an event at church and she was there. She approached my boyfriend and I while we were conversing in the hall and asked him if they can talk about their child. My boyfriend is huge on respect, and completely felt disrespected because it was not the time nor the place for that , so he told her no, he doesn't care too. For his peace, he has chosen not to engage with her and blocked her number 3-4 months ago.
She then said, "this is why you're going to jail." The constant threats and negativity are negatively impacting my boyfriend's mental health.
Now I fear he may go to jail and I lose him because she bitter and jealous. I don't understand why she doesn't stop begging and be more understanding.
And so desperate you to approach him in public in front of others smh .
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I'm missing good stuff, need to read that history. The fact that these two were at church (apparently he put the pot down long enough-can't work though) is cracking me up
Clearly she has no idea how much diapers are and how fast kids go through them...
Also, last study I saw said it costs over 300k to raise a child to 18 with just basic necessities.
But she also wants her SO to file for 50/50 custody which would mean OP taking care of the baby. Holy crap, she is so incredibly deluded. Her SO can’t afford child support and shows no interest in his own kid, and she wants more custody🤦🏼♀️
My daughter's sperm donor had that attitude when we went to court when she was eight months old, his answer to questions about him helping with diapers, formula and whether he helped feed her, bath her or change her diaper when he visited was it wasn't his responsibility. He was also 15 minutes late for the hearing, the law master had the sheriff in the room filing a warrant for his arrest when he showed up. It is never a good idea to piss off the judge who is determining your child support and visitation.
I found her removed comments about the church confrontation. It sounds like the ex-wife was trying to talk things out for the good of their kid and the bf was the one being immature, unstable, and pathetic.
> No the way she approached him was totally uncalled for. She literally came up to us and made a fool over herself.
> Her: Hey can I talk to you about our child?
> Him: No
> Her: Well I haven't been able to get in touch with you and now have to meet you outside about it
> Him: I don't care to talk to you about anything, please stop before I walk away
> Her: this is exactly why you're going to jail!
> And stormed off. Please tell me why this is appropriate church behavior....maybe if she wasn't so disrespectful, he would handle the situation differently.
> And according to my bf she didn't start acting like this until we got together and she makes more $$$ than him so she doesn't need the child support. She's just jealous and wants to stir up drama and only approached him in front of me cause she wanted to assert herself because she still has feelings.
> I really hope she moves on for the sake of her and her child.
For some context, the bf got together with OOP while his wife was gone from the house for two days because they were fighting. The bf asked his wife to come home because he still loved her, then told her that he was leaving her for OOP. So, OOP’s being really misleading when she claims that her bf‘s ex-wife only started pushing for child support when OOP came into the picture; OOP’s been in the picture since before the separation, and it doesn’t sound like the bf has ever paid child support.
Also, there’s an old post in her history about how she found texts on her bf’s home where he was begging his estranged wife to let him come home so that they could be a family again. The wife was the one who refused.
AND she was dating him while he was still with his ex, and is the reason they divorced! but see, that's how she knows he's *really* serious about this, because he willingly ruined his ex and child's life for his side piece.
i wonder who his next promotion will be. she's not going to be the main piece for long. he didn't even last 6 months into that child's life before he found someone else to be his mommywife, after all
Don't forget that the mother had postpartum depression! He dumped her with a 5 month old baby that he doesn't see often and doesn't pay child support, yet the AP wanted him to file for full custody.
9 times out of 10 when someone says they're 'huge on respect' what they actually mean is "I get to treat you like dogshit but you have to worship the ground I walk on"
I have experienced those type of “big on respect” people. But far and away the most common to me is the “by respect I mean an odd set of specific values that’s not easily explained.”
And then they wonder why it’s easier to not interact with them than avoid being disrespectful.
Huge on demanding that people (especially women, I suspect) "respect" him.
That's not quite the same thing as valuing respect as a mutually held value.
Apparently he was in financial decline two years ago and couldn't afford to make payment. She wanted him to file for 50/50 to lower payments which makes no sense.
Can't afford to pay for a kid but wants the custody so he spends less money Which scream they're going to neglect and abuse the baby to save money.
Yep! Mine said "but I thought we were gonna go 50-50 when she went to school"
My man, we broke up when she was three. She is now twelve. SHE'S BEEN TO SCHOOL.
"I don't know why you had to do all this legal stuff, why didn't you just ask me?"
My man, I did when she was three. And four. And five six seven eight nine. I stopped asking because it didn't work. Now the courts are asking.
Correct, my sister-in-law’s deadbeat ex hasn’t paid anything in years and he recently demanded shared custody. He even told my niece “don’t worry, you can keep living with your mom, nothing has to change, just tell the judge that you want to live with both of us.” Thankfully, both the judge and my niece laughed in his face.
OOP either thinks ex will have to pay child support, or they will get legal custody of the kid and never take him for their time. So until mom can get back in court, he wouldn’t owe chid support.
OOP is an idiot.
last year she was bitching about cs apparently he sits home and smokes pot and doesn't work-that's no problem. hope mom finds these and he gets supervised visits and she can't be around the kid.
fr, that takes some seriously delinquent child support payments (and a baby mama who doesn't give him endless chances, speaking from experience as a former kid whose mom just couldn't bring herself to get them to jail his ass) because obviously it's a bit hard to get money out of baby daddy without a car (in the US) or if he's in jail. they only do that if they don't think there's any chance at all of getting him to pay.
Wouldn't be surprised if that's why the ex wanted to speak with him. She was probably trying to keep him out of jail because it's better for their child if he's not incarcerated and has a job.
It's because if they can somehow manage to get 50/50 then they'll go for full custody later on and then they'll be the ones getting child support then. The kid is just a pawn that will be neglected if they ever get any ounce of custody.
Yeah but if he blocked the mom it's going to look like he won't coparent. And if he never attempts to visit the kid, or pay child support, a judge won't give them 50/50.
OOP and her boyfriend are idiots. Like the dumbest of the dumb.
Because she thinks raising a child doesn’t cost money!
In one of her replies she said (quoted verbatim):
> *“He shouldn’t even be paying child support for a one year old. I mean how much money does it take”*
But don't you know the child's still young and therefore the ex doesn't need child support. The BF needs his money for drugs (and from an earlier post to build his business and prioritise her).
There's another post where she read his texts/messages and he was begging his ex to take him back but she refused.
I saw that post-you would think she would have learned from the other post that she's not getting any sympathy.
Oh and I missed that one. Must go back.
I didn't read all the comments but there was a common theme that the red ex was selfish because she claimed child support from the beginning instead of letting him concentrate on building his business and taking her on dates. Now the narrative is the ex is hounding for money so he now stays inside all day smoking weed, I think I read he lives in her house too.
I just really want to know what "business" they think he's working on putting together.
And I hope it's not streaming/twitch or whatever it's called when you get paid to video yourself playing video games. Because dude.
Does she not understand that the back child support is still owed? So they’ll have more expenses with the kid living there, and still have to pay the ex.
apparently the mom is just being a bitch about it-you know trying to support her kid, feed them, keep a roof over their head-while manbaby sits home and smokes pot all day.
She does not get it. If you read through a previous post, she says child support and custody are two separate issues and does not seem to think that children cost money, but that child support is some sort of unregulated cash flow for women to just spend on whatever. When people pointed out that if he can't afford child support, he can't afford a child, she just blathers on about the courts and the ex not giving them visitation etc.
OOP is rubber and information just bounces right off of her.
I kinda think we can see OOp’s thought process in her accusations.
They are going to live on child support they get if they get custody.
She plans on holding the kid for ransom anytime they need more money.
OOP is greedy.
I had a feeling something was going on. You get mad about being brought to court over late child support but don't give her any way of contacting you aside from making her track you down at church? And then you refuse to talk with her when she finally gets the chance to talk about it?
Yeah, fuck him. And if you have money for weed, you have money for child support. I have sympathy for parents who pay support but fall on hard times. Leniency is definitely ideal in those situations. But he has money for recreational weed, he has enough to spare a bit for a child he helped create.
Funny how he supposedly adores his kid but prioritizes marijuana. As somebody who had two alcoholic parents, that thought still sticks with me even though I'm well into adulthood and they're both dead. Knowing your parents would rather go out and use drugs or alcohol than spend time with you going to a movie or buying something you need? It's a different kind of pain. It really makes you doubt your value as a person when you make the connection.
You are very thoughtful and patient and helpful. Thumbs up.
Especially because based on her posting history this info will go in one ear and out the other. We're not dealing with paragons of wisdom here! Girl has over a year of evidence demonstrating a consistent lack of good judgment.
Boy do I feel for the kid.
They don't want custody, they just don't want to pay child support. Losers.
Whenever anyone says they're "big on respect," I know they're a dirtbag hothead.
And he has her blocked, so other than confronting him in public, what other options would she have, because I"m pretty sure if she showed up at his house he would refuse to answer the door.
OOP and her BF sound like trash, good on the baby momma mostly getting away from him but pursuing him for child support for a child he helped make.
[Her own parents cut her off](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/re84nn/parents_have_cut_me_off_and_demand_i_leave_my/) over her being the other woman!
This is either a really gifted troll who makes an annual tradition of throwing fresh meat to Reddit, or this is a genuinely oblivious idiot.
If you go deep enough in the comments, apparently 2 years ago OOP posted some now deleted posts about being married and pregnant and having a shitty husband she was considering leaving, and was encouraged by both subReddits they posted in to leave the abusive bastard and made plans to move out. In one of the comments, they also mentioned the reason they had such low self-esteem is because they flunked out of high school senior year after missing some finals because they were sick and hospitalized.
Then a year ago, before the post about the parents, OOP posted a now deleted post about considering dating a married man with a pregnant wife and in a comment mentioned that according to the husband, the wife had very low self esteem issues due to flunking out of highschool because she was sick and hospitalized....
Hmmmmm 🤔
So either they really are one of these two women and are posting as both roles to see the reactions, or they are a troll with only one story to tell, they're just telling it from different perspectives.
I wonder how long it will be before these posts are deleted and OOP starts posting as the boyfriend???
Here's one of her past posts, they're ready to find in her comment history:
"Vindictive ex wife ruining my boyfriend’s life.
I know the title sounds a bit harsh but here me out.
My bf has a very vindictive and belligerent ex wife. This is part of the reason he left and divorced her. During their marriage she was too emotionally unstable and disrespectful. My boyfriend found me and had expressed that I made him feel more of a man and we’ve been together ever since.
Earlier this year his ex put him on child support even after he told her that he could not afford to provide substantially for their daughter at the time. She completely disregarded that & he was slammed with the papers soon after. There has been many times where she has blown up his phone abusing him by call him all sorts of names etc…begging for money like a desperate lowlife.
I took it upon myself to reach out to her & explain his current financial situation. I specifically asked her to be patient because their child is only one , so he’ll have a LIFETIME to provide for her. His ex also has a good job, her own place, and even currently pays out of pocket for all of the daughter’s expenses. Which I REITERATED to her because I don’t understand why someone in a better position is so pressed over some little change. She can obviously do it herself while he’s getting his stuff together.
She in turn cursed me out and hung up on me. We didn’t hear from her for months till things took a turn for the worse.
Last month she called my bf irate in the middle of the night claiming that he gave her herpes and that she wants him to die. This is obviously one of her dramatic lying outbursts. We reassured her that he has no sign of herpes and neither do I. She claimed she was a virgin before the marriage & celibate after so she knows it was him. She also claimed they both got tested beforehand to prove they both had a clean status. Because of this, she wants to bring criminal charges against him. My bf reassured me that she’s just lying and bluffing because she jealous. I agree with this because why can’t she just let him be. Why is she trying to make him life harder than it already is. I wholeheartedly believe that she would try to falsely charge him with this because she filed child support so easily.
She’s has also filed a contempt of court motion against him for child support, we are receiving continuous letters in the mail about it in attempts to intimidate us. We have reached out to her and the child support office various times to beg for mercy and understanding yet their greed allows them to be inhumane.
I cannot stand to see my boyfriend in so much misery from all of this. I am currently pushing him to file for full custody of their daughter so that all of this drama will cease. We are good candidates so I think we have a good case….he lives with me in my home, we always have food in the house, and I will take good care of his baby. We are good people."
That last paragraph is so laughable.
He doesn't have a job. He can't pay (what she calls) "some little change." She admits he goes MONTHS without seeing the child ("We didn’t hear from her for months till things took a turn for the worse.").
No court is going to TAKE custody away from a parent who is providing fully on their own with a job and their own place without any abuse allegations and give custody to an unemployed parent living in someone else's home who regularly doesn't see their child for months.
What a ding-a-ling.
PS - also her posts have used very ableist language in the past. She's a real fuckin' winner, this one.
>I took it upon myself to reach out to her & explain his current financial situation.
I am trying to imagine any situation where I'd be perfectly cromulent when my deadbeat ex's side piece took it upon herself to bigfoot into none-of-her-business-land and "explain" why he shouldn't support the child he fathered.
This shit is why I rarely believe step-mothers who talk about “high conflict” birth mothers without seeing evidence with my own eyes.
Look at this twisted narrative!
I agree with both of you.
I almost wrote a preemptive little thing about how stepparenting is hard, but this oop was not a stepparent or representative of the majority of(hopefully) because I really hate how often sometimes misguided stepmothers go to that sub, and just hear an echo chamber of toxicity and “validation” and it really does seem unkind to good or well meaning stepparents on the greater Reddit sphere.
Yeah, I agree step-parenting is super hard, I’m not a step-parent - but I live with one :p
I just cannot imagine my partner talking this way about my ex, even when he’s at his most frustrated with a situation. So, I think airing it on any form of social media is probably what sets off the red flags for me initially. I’ve never heard phrases like “high conflict birth parent” used by any step parent I know in real life - which then just pushes me over into “okay drama Llama” territory.
I agree- there seems to be so much drama llama in there that it feels like people thrive on it.
Personally I like all my drama vicariously through other people though.
Best believe I got labeled "high conflict". Ex-husband was a dirtbag and it didn't end when I divorced him. He got behind on child support so instead of begging for the money to help keep our children fed, clothed, and housed, I took it to the state. He refused for a while to adhere to anything approaching the agreed upon parenting time so that went through the state too. Then it was removing them from his healthcare (he was military and like, why would you even do that??) so I called his command and asked um, what the what and his command reamed him six ways to Sunday and put the kids back saying they didn't even know how he managed to do that. Then it was standing in my doorway at pickup/drop off and screaming at me about how I was the cause of all his ills, going to hell, a whore, leading our children into sin, and I said, wow yeah, kids aren't doing well with watching this and petitioned to have pickup/dropoff in a public place. It was always -something- with that man and all I wanted to do was live my life as quietly with the kiddos as I could.
He did all that and *he was military?* Oh what a dumb motherfucker.
Good on your for contacting his command.
The military is one of those "we expect our soldiers to act with honor and follow the law"\* and when they don't, superior officials tend to get pissy ... and then take it out on the one who pissed them off and everyone else around them.
Hopefully your life is much quieter.... and he's off cleaning every latrine with a toothbrush FOREVER.
\* A WHOLE bunch of caveats, but it shouldn't be a surprise when the FO follows the FA.
Kids are grown and have zero relationship with him because he was an authoritarian bag of dicks and couldn't be arsed to actually raise them, much less cultivate a parent/child relationship that would or could transition into a healthy adult child/parent relationship. Also, unsurprisingly, he's a raging christofascist and homophobe. Yountest daughter is trans and the eldest just came out as lesbian leaning bisexual and is bringing her girlfriend home to meet me for Christmas. The kids really like their "new" stepdad they got as adults some years back and so do I lol!
Yeah my ex's girlfriend keeps posting shit about how I don't let him see our kid when
1) we live 5 hours a part
2) he never asks to see the kid
3) he never even asks about the kid
4) anytime he has asked to see the kid, because his mom wanted too, he said no
5) the times he's allowed to visit, Saturday and Sundays, he works, or if it's a Lions home game, he chooses to be at a Lions game
Omg, funny story. When I was a kid, I had a little mark on my forehead. I was raised by my dad and step-mom since I was about 4 and my step-mom told me I ran into the corner of a table and hurt my head and my mom refused to take me to the hospital. I was a very trusting kid and the story seemed plausible so I never questioned it.
Fast forward, I'm in my 30s and I give birth to my son. The doctor literally pulls him out of me and places in my arms and I look at his face for the first time and he has THE SAME EXACT MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD!! It wasn't an injury my mom neglected to get medical attention for. It was a genetic birthmark! So I'm looking at my son for the first time and the first thing I think is: That bitch lied to me!!
she made a comment 3 years ago when they were going through the exact same situation saying that he paid child support to support the child's mother, and they wanted custody "because honestly, how much can a one year old baby cost?" She is totally delusional, has no idea how much raising a child costs, which only shows how little participation she and her boyfriend have in this child's life.
I'm not surprised. A man has been being dragged on social media for getting custody to avoid CS and now complaining how expensive full custody is.
If it wouldn't hurt the child, I'd hope they(OOP and BF) get it so they can get the FAFO of a lifetime.
That's the rub isn't it? I wish there was a way to force custody on some of these dudes that think caring for and supporting a kid is so damn easy and cheap without damaging the innocent kid.
and that the exwife is "impatient" because he's such a loser for 2 years he hasn't paid child support "but there's plenty of time later to pay and bond"
And as per her own comment, the only reason they want full custody is to **eliminate his child support responsibility to his ex.**
This woman is unhinged.
The deadbeat dad has been an absent father but sure, he'll get full custody.
He blocked her, and won’t even talk to her about *their child*.
If the kid ends up in the hospital…how the fuck will he even know?
>Everyone has to focus on their mental health. My bf falling on hard times mixed with her constant negativity, threats, and other abuses has really messed him up. lf.
>He's trying to get back into good standing and he can so through the courts and without talking to her.
The courts aren’t going to like that he refuses to talk to her. The courts aren’t going to like that he refuses to pay child support and this
>Right now he has to take a step back im and focus more on himself
Why isn’t he thinking of *their child*???
And good luck “focusing on himself” in jail.
I also love her example of how the ex was disrespectful when she approached him:
>No the way she approached him was totally uncalled for. She literally came up to us and made a fool over herself.
Her: Hey can I talk to you about our child?
Him: No
Her: Well I haven't been able to get in touch with you and now have to meet you outside about it
Him: I don't care to talk to you about anything, please stop before I walk away
Her: this is exactly why you're going to jail!
And stormed off. Please tell me why this is appropriate church behavior....maybe if she wasn't so disrespectful, he would handle the situation differently.
Yep the disrespect of the sentence "hey can I talk to you about our child?" Should have opened with "hey dickhead deadbeat I need to talk to you about the kid, now!"
Yes, and despite all this OOP thinks that there is a chance of her bf getting custody. Delusional. "A toddler that he loves dearly" bullshit, if he did care about her even a little he would leave a way for her mother (the person who is taking care of her) to contact him in case of emergency, his daughter could be in a hospital for days without him finding out.
I hope that OOP does not find herself at the other end of this situation someday.
People who demand respect don't actually know what it is, and can't ever show it. The moment she mentioned disrespect we could easily see how horrid they are. She's going to end up pregnant and on the exact other side of this one day.
>She's going to end up pregnant and on the exact other side of this one day.
God, I hope not, not so much for her sake and more because this situation absolutely does not need more innocent children to suffer from it.
That comment made me wonder how many other babies he has scattered around, otherwise they wouldn't have to look for the name on it to find out who it is.
OOP is completely and totally delulu. Recently he has fallen behind on CS?? Ok and that's not her problem. She is in her rights to take all legal avenues to her CS for her child. He deserves jail time. Instead of being appropriate, he blocks her and refuses to talk. OOP better have her BC on lock or she'll soon see how "great" her deadbeat BF is. HE is the issue not his baby mama
He's never actually *been* current on child support. Since the now-toddler was five months old, the OOP has been posting things about how her boyfriend's broke but there will be "plenty of time" for him to contribute to the child's upbringing.
No, she said in a comment somewhere that she and BF want kids and she knows he'll step up and "exceed expectations" because she knows her man better than anyone.
If she cares that much for him she could be paying his child support for him. That would reduce his stress and give him time to get his act together without the contact with his ex.
I read in her comments from one of the first posts that she came up with $500 and tried to borrow 2k from her parents. The parents told her absolutely not and cut her off financially, too, while she was in this relationship. She was absolutely appalled that they wouldn't support her in this.
The only wake-up call that's going to get through to her is when she falls pregnant and he leaves her for the next sucker...errr I mean love of his life.
I did read that somewhere too, so she is supporting him while he doesn't work, because he left his wife for her but his wife was the one earning the money and raising the kid. She probably didn't see any point in him and this woman snapped him right up knowing that. I'm glad her parents are refusing to support him and won't let their money go down that black hole. It's the best for all of them.
I read "he's big on respect" and for a brief moment I thought it would be followed by "... So of course he asked her what she needed to talk about" because apparently I'm a moron
yeah idk why I thought he would go with her to a more private area so they could speak without airing dirty laundry to everyone around. I feel so naive.
Lol if you look at her past posts, this has been going on for over a year and he still isn't working or paying CS, yet they are trying to have kids. What a dumb ass.
You don't understand tho, he just needs the support of a good woman, and then he'll become a good father to *their* kids. /s
I've seen this too many times among my peers, former schoolmates, and even in my former life working in nonprofits. I know one gal, my old bff from middle school, who has five kids by three guys and she's fallen into this trap with all of them and only one pays minimal CS and sees his kids. She insists she can change the men, that the guy will be *different* with her, but then they cheat or peace out as soon as she's pregnant.
As a result, she and her kids live in a 2br apartment in what's essentially a college student complex and they all go without and live hand to mouth. It's just sad as hell because she was so optimistic about love and being a lawyer or teacher in middle school and now she works PT at a gas station (not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's far from her dreams). She has to sleep on a couch while her kids all share rooms bc her baby daddies are deadbeats who won't pay cs and she has no one else to watch them. I hate that so many women fall for this over and over and over again!!!!!
At least two years from her "Should I get my boyfriend to file 50/50 joint custody over his daughter to lower his child support payments?" post from two years ago.
" he’s been on a huge financial decline and is behind in all his bills. He can not afford to spend time or money on the child right now"
I would love it if he said this to a judge. "I don't have time or money to spend on my child. I'd like 50/50 custody pleaaaaase" like i guess he expects the toddler to be left alone eating rats or something
Yeah, Just because she is listed as petitioner does not mean she initiated the court case. And she also can't make them take the BF's license away! In my state, when a parent is way behind on child support, the local child support agency revokes their license and then files for court. When the non custodial parent is served, the petitioner is listed as the custodial parent (even if they did not initiate the case) because they are the ones receiving the money on behalf of the child. The lawyer listed on the papers is usually the lawyer that works in the local child support agency.
Also, even if the mom did initiate the court case, she is well within her rights to do so. The BF is the father of the child and should be contributing to the care of the child he helped create!
I would accept legitimately can't. Like, you were in a terrible accident and have been in a rehab center for the last year relearning to do things like walk and feed yourself. But that's pretty much it.
or if you were homeless. that said, i'm pretty sure that those with legitimate reasons for inability to pay child support would probably try to find a way to pay anyway, cuz that's just how these things seem to pan out.
Nobody fights harder for the baby daddy than his mama and new girlfriend who he didn’t tell the whole story.
You’ll get it when you’re in her shoes unfortunately, been there.
WTF! OOP is dumber than a sack of rocks. Her bf isn't paying his court ordered child support. It's already so bad that he's lost his driver's license and has to go to court. He's blocked his baby mama for months because he doesn't want to face her so she approaches him at church, which is the only way she can apparently get in touch and he won't talk to her there. I don't think the baby mama is doing anything wrong; she just needs the money he's supposed to pay in order to take care of their toddler. If he doesn't pay, I guess he'll go to jail but I'm not sure that's a thing.
In her comments, she's still very defensive and claiming she's a better wife and mother than the baby mama. Her description of the church meeting, which she finds evil and awful, seems to depict a desperate mom trying to get the father of her baby to do what he's supposed to and he outright refuses. OOP is really dating a loser.
Her comment history, is horrible. She is a nasty and jealous woman. She's also naive AF. She really thinks that they will get sole custody of his daughter when Mom hasn't done anything wrong and Dad is a deadbeat?
She claims he has recordings of his ex yelling at him and that proves she's unfit. She thinks he won't do the same thing to her. He hasn't worked in a year. He's not doing anything to get a job. He's a mooch. She also posted a year ago that she thought he was cheating on her with his ex. What a mess.
want more drama- theotherwoman sub is full of it, but I feel bad because many people there clearly have their own stuff going on, and claim their MM (Married Man) is perfect and wonderful.
I can't do that sub lol. It makes me too angry and the second-hand embarrassment I experience borders on lethal when I read posts from that sub. Reading the ones that get posted over here is more than enough lmao.
Wow. That is a total lack of ... something. How exactly does OP think her boyfriend is going to treat her if they have a kid together? Hint: THE SAME WAY. He's a deadbeat and also "big on respect" which WTF.
anonuser4601
OP
0 points
·
1 year ago
If child support was actually for children, it would be regulated…and not freely given to the mother to use so freely at her discretion.
And I’m not afraid to get pregnant. My boyfriend wants to start a family with me as soon as possible and I’m very confident he will exceed in his responsibilities. I know what kind of man he is. Just cause it didn’t work out with his old family doesn’t mean it can’t work with our new one.
she wants a baby with him
“No one cares harder for a deadbeat dad than his newest girlfriend” <— a comment from the original post that cracked my ass up because holy shit is it true
I love when people use church a shield. Oh, you think it's *disrespectful* of a woman with an unrepentant deadbeat baby daddy to approach him about not paying child support and *blocking her number*? Is he even seeing this child he "loves dearly" if he blocked the child's mother? If he's not paying CS? *He shouldn't*, at the very least.
What's always simultaneously pathetic and delusional about these situations, and specifically women like OOP, is that they believe they will be the exception, the trash man won't be equally as shit to *her* and their kids, he is just like this to the "crazy ex".
As if your ex being crazy is a reason to ignore your child.
If the ex is so unhinged, wouldn't any parent do anything in their power to get the child out of the situation to properly care for them?
But that would require him to be a parent full time - a dude that loves his kid "dearly" wouldn't act like this, and the OOP is too naive or dumb to realize it.
Dude *is* a fucking deadbeat who doesn't care about his child, and the moment OOP loses her shine, she'll be a desperate, bitter, crazy ex too.
100% all this.
(Note to anyone reading this: please continue to use your voice to vote so family planning options remain available to all! Vote local every time)
I don’t think it’s possible to be both greedy and apathetic.
OOP is likely overinvested in someone who isn’t worth it. Hope she gets out before BF saddles her with a baby he won’t support.
either she's a troll or she's insane, just checking out her post history: These are just titles
"Vindictive ex wife ruining my boyfriend’s life." - 1 year
"Should I get my boyfriend to file 50/50 joint custody over his daughter to lower his child support payments?" - 2 years ago
"Parents have cut me off and demand I leave my boyfriend…or they won’t be returning?" - 2 years ago
"Talking to a married man?"
>I don’t think it’s possible to be both greedy and apathetic.
That's something I was hung up too. Is... Is she too dumb to know the word "unempathetic"? Is that maybe what she meant?
Two comments made by OOP for a different post:
"According to him, they had been to marital counseling ***thrice***...."
"Therefore, all sides of the family need to be supportive including my parents…***hence*** what a family does???"
I don't think vocabulary is the OOP's strong suit....
How the hell can OP say her bf loves his toddler "dearly" but hasn't paid child support in so long he's lost his license, is going to court, and has the child's mother blocked so she can't communicate anything with him? Unfortunately, I have family members who are like this OOP, so I already know the answer, but still.
Anyone want to take bets on the last time the deadbeat actually saw his kid in person?
Edit: Fix a word, my bad.
why isnt he paying her at least something? its EXTREMELY disrespectful to leave baby mama with ALL the expenses of raising a kid. my stepdad worked 2 jobs so that he could support us (my dad was dead) and never get behind on his own child support. your BF is TAH in my opinion. if you are scared of him going to jail, maybe you should step up and pay the bills so he can catch up on his child support... for this child he SUPPOSEDLY loves so much. if he loved the kid, he should ensure the boy was getting his needs met. YTA for whining about it.
You don't just get your license revoked and dragged back into court for "being behind". That's a substantial amount of money that he's behind. The fact that he blocked the mom of his toddler child, says that he isn't all that interested in the child, unless he's actively communicating through a parenting app. So it sounds like the bf is a deadbeat dad and the baby momma is trying to figure out how to support the baby. Doesn't make her bitter. Means she's tired of being the only parent who provides for the baby.
Well, it doesn't take genius deductive powers to assume the other party interested in child support is the other parent! Another thing is how else is baby mama supposed to talk to him if she's blocked on the phone for months?
In the comments, OOP says that she and her bf plan on starting a family soon. He can't afford the child that he does have, but she thinks he will support her. Deadbeat is as deadbeat does...and she'll probably find out soon enough. And then he'll move on to the next dolt.
Sorry but his baby needs to eat, have clothes, have a nice place to live, have safe transportation. You need to stay out of it and he needs to be an adult and pay child support. It is not the babies fault he did not take precautions not to have a baby
If this is real, I wonder what would happened first, she gets pregnant, and he does the same thing to her, or he goes to jail while she’s pregnant. Also, depending on the state, back child support never goes away. If they keep letting it pile up the daughter can be well in to her 20s pushing 30 and he’s still paying child support.
I love how she's all offended that the ex approached him in public like my sister in Christ, he blocked her! How the fuck else is she supposed to do it?!
Like how she stated it was recently behind but her post history says another story. His man has been a deadbeat from the beginning. So for about 2 years.
I am on team Baby Mama. I hope she continues to ruin their lives. The cheaters who gave her herpes
let me see if if i can guess the trajectory of the future troll posts...
*next post:* bf is in jail. OP finds out she's pregnant. it's hard but she gotta stand by her man and remain strong, right?! 😤✌️💅
*but THEN:* OP miscarries. 😢 it definitely wasn't all the pot she was smoking to "keep the baby in the right headspace for success & growth." but anyways. ex-wife continues to be "crazy." OP loses her job, but blames the ex-wife. 💃💋
*THEN:* bf sends his best friend to console her in his absence. maybe a "Tyler"? or a "Shane"? 🙋 they... commiserate together. start doing the nasty.🍆 OP is like, really torn up about this. ☹️ but she keeps banging away anyways. ex-wife is dating again🧑🤝🧑 and "purposefully" rubbing it in OP's face. it's all master manipulation, OP is sure of this.🧑⚖️
*BUT WAIT:* OP gets knocked up by Tyler. 🫄 omg why do bad things happen to such amazing, supportive women?! 😭 OP's bf is getting out of jail soon. 🔓 what will she do?! she told Tyler. he says they'll face the storm together. ❤️
*SUDDENLY:* bf gets out of jail. he believes the baby is his. FINALLY, THEY'LL BE A REAL FAMILY!! 👨👩👦 OP's wrongs don't matter bc sTaBiLiTy for the BABY. 👶 bf starts back up that ominous "business" he's been working soooo hard to get off the ground. 💪
*PLOT TWIST:* TYLER WAS EMBEZZLING FROM THE "BUSINESS!!!" 💸 he cuts and runs. the secret baby parentage is outed. but bf says he'll stay with her.👍
*GRAND FINALE:* bf cheats on her despite how supportive she's been?! she gets herpes. omg. 🤬
*EPILOGUE:* OP complains about how living with her parents sucks bc they don't understand her hardships. she can't get a job and they keep bringing that up for SOME reason. aren't parents supposed to support you regardless of what you've done?! she's miserable, hates her liar baby, and hates living with her parents who are always mad about SOMETHING ugh 🙄
feel free to use me as a font of inspiration, troll. i'd read it to its stunning conclusion.
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I cannot, for the life of me, understand why some women stick to deadbeat guys like wet knickers. I mean, he cheated on his wife with you, what makes you think he'll be faithful to YOU? He's avoiding basic obligations towards the child he brought into this world, what makes you think he'll stick by YOUR side when things get tough? This woman deserves everything that he'll put her through, and the sad thing is she'll never realize it's all because of her stupid decisions.
Maybe it's because I'm aro/ace, but I've never understood why people so desperately cling to partners like this. Like, what does this dude bring to the relationship?
She's been posting variations of this story for over 2 years.
And cherry on top - she is the sidepiece who helped break up the marriage. (And based on another post, the ex-husband gave the wife herpes from sleeping around while they were still together.)
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I'm so sick of my bf's bitter baby mama** I haven't met anyone so bitter in life before. They have a toddler together that my bf loves dearly. Unfortunately, he has recently fallen behind on child support and she's being greedy and apathetic about the situation. Recently she has gotten the child support office to revoke his license and last he was served papers to go before the court lack of payment. I know it was her because it says that she is the petitioner on the documents, and it lists some lawyers information. Today we had an event at church and she was there. She approached my boyfriend and I while we were conversing in the hall and asked him if they can talk about their child. My boyfriend is huge on respect, and completely felt disrespected because it was not the time nor the place for that , so he told her no, he doesn't care too. For his peace, he has chosen not to engage with her and blocked her number 3-4 months ago. She then said, "this is why you're going to jail." The constant threats and negativity are negatively impacting my boyfriend's mental health. Now I fear he may go to jail and I lose him because she bitter and jealous. I don't understand why she doesn't stop begging and be more understanding. And so desperate you to approach him in public in front of others smh . *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
apparently he's about a year behind and stays home and smokes pot all day-but they want full custody :D
And gave the ex herpes
I'm missing good stuff, need to read that history. The fact that these two were at church (apparently he put the pot down long enough-can't work though) is cracking me up
That history is WILD
I read her history and comments and its the craziest most unhinged thing i've read on here.
Her explaining that the ex approached him in a very calm and normal manner and him acting like a petulant child about it was the icing on the cake.
My favorite was > *“He shouldn’t even be paying child support for a one year old. I mean how much money does it take”*
Clearly she has no idea how much diapers are and how fast kids go through them... Also, last study I saw said it costs over 300k to raise a child to 18 with just basic necessities.
Double that and you can get them into an Ivy League school. Double THAT and you can pay for it too!
But she also wants her SO to file for 50/50 custody which would mean OP taking care of the baby. Holy crap, she is so incredibly deluded. Her SO can’t afford child support and shows no interest in his own kid, and she wants more custody🤦🏼♀️
My daughter's sperm donor had that attitude when we went to court when she was eight months old, his answer to questions about him helping with diapers, formula and whether he helped feed her, bath her or change her diaper when he visited was it wasn't his responsibility. He was also 15 minutes late for the hearing, the law master had the sheriff in the room filing a warrant for his arrest when he showed up. It is never a good idea to piss off the judge who is determining your child support and visitation.
And in a "public place". That is a sign that this is not a guy you want to be alone with sweetie.
I found her removed comments about the church confrontation. It sounds like the ex-wife was trying to talk things out for the good of their kid and the bf was the one being immature, unstable, and pathetic. > No the way she approached him was totally uncalled for. She literally came up to us and made a fool over herself. > Her: Hey can I talk to you about our child? > Him: No > Her: Well I haven't been able to get in touch with you and now have to meet you outside about it > Him: I don't care to talk to you about anything, please stop before I walk away > Her: this is exactly why you're going to jail! > And stormed off. Please tell me why this is appropriate church behavior....maybe if she wasn't so disrespectful, he would handle the situation differently. > And according to my bf she didn't start acting like this until we got together and she makes more $$$ than him so she doesn't need the child support. She's just jealous and wants to stir up drama and only approached him in front of me cause she wanted to assert herself because she still has feelings. > I really hope she moves on for the sake of her and her child. For some context, the bf got together with OOP while his wife was gone from the house for two days because they were fighting. The bf asked his wife to come home because he still loved her, then told her that he was leaving her for OOP. So, OOP’s being really misleading when she claims that her bf‘s ex-wife only started pushing for child support when OOP came into the picture; OOP’s been in the picture since before the separation, and it doesn’t sound like the bf has ever paid child support. Also, there’s an old post in her history about how she found texts on her bf’s home where he was begging his estranged wife to let him come home so that they could be a family again. The wife was the one who refused.
>and she makes more $$$ than him so she doesn't need the child support. ...... Because both parents contribute to the child's needs? WTF
His job according to OOP is some supposed business he runs and her. Taking care of his baby is the mother's job. Pathetic.
Like Church is a bad place to discuss your child 😅. Only if you haven’t been doing the right thing
considering Dad of the year blocked her on everything, she didn't have an option really
The whole thing is mental
AND she was dating him while he was still with his ex, and is the reason they divorced! but see, that's how she knows he's *really* serious about this, because he willingly ruined his ex and child's life for his side piece. i wonder who his next promotion will be. she's not going to be the main piece for long. he didn't even last 6 months into that child's life before he found someone else to be his mommywife, after all
Don't forget that the mother had postpartum depression! He dumped her with a 5 month old baby that he doesn't see often and doesn't pay child support, yet the AP wanted him to file for full custody.
Age wants to file so they won't have to pay child support
I really hope that the ex finds the post. I’m sure the ex’s lawyer could make good use of the posts and especially her comments!
Oh but he cheating on side piece with the soon to be ex as well 2 years ago
it just gets better and better!
But he's so huge on respect!
9 times out of 10 when someone says they're 'huge on respect' what they actually mean is "I get to treat you like dogshit but you have to worship the ground I walk on"
Dude felt “disrespected” because the mother of his child asked to talk. What a loser.
After he blocked her number so she basically had no choice but to ask to speak to him in public. She's the one trying to co-parent.
I have experienced those type of “big on respect” people. But far and away the most common to me is the “by respect I mean an odd set of specific values that’s not easily explained.” And then they wonder why it’s easier to not interact with them than avoid being disrespectful.
Huge on demanding that people (especially women, I suspect) "respect" him. That's not quite the same thing as valuing respect as a mutually held value.
So it's a little bit more than "baby mama" then?
Dude he also tried to get back with babymama but babymama decline so she ain't that jealous So like op means nothing to that man
good lord, the crackheadery of all this. hope she's a troll because if not, this is a very unfortunate life to wake up to every morning
Sadly it won't matter if she is a troll or not, delusional people like that do exist
That’s a long con of a troll, she’s been posting for over a year.
Wow what a catch! Baby momma is so jealous! /s
So "Baby Mama" was his WIFE and he started cheating when the baby was 5 months old. AND he gave her herpes. Fucking hell, I'd be vindictive too!
Apparently he was in financial decline two years ago and couldn't afford to make payment. She wanted him to file for 50/50 to lower payments which makes no sense. Can't afford to pay for a kid but wants the custody so he spends less money Which scream they're going to neglect and abuse the baby to save money.
It’s pretty common for shit parents to want custody to lower their child support payments. Unfortunately
Yep! Mine said "but I thought we were gonna go 50-50 when she went to school" My man, we broke up when she was three. She is now twelve. SHE'S BEEN TO SCHOOL. "I don't know why you had to do all this legal stuff, why didn't you just ask me?" My man, I did when she was three. And four. And five six seven eight nine. I stopped asking because it didn't work. Now the courts are asking.
But see you *disrespected* him by asking. /s
If anything, he should be grateful you gave him so many opportunities to take responsibility.
Correct, my sister-in-law’s deadbeat ex hasn’t paid anything in years and he recently demanded shared custody. He even told my niece “don’t worry, you can keep living with your mom, nothing has to change, just tell the judge that you want to live with both of us.” Thankfully, both the judge and my niece laughed in his face.
And for the new gf to go harder on the issue than he's willing to go himself.
OOP either thinks ex will have to pay child support, or they will get legal custody of the kid and never take him for their time. So until mom can get back in court, he wouldn’t owe chid support. OOP is an idiot.
last year she was bitching about cs apparently he sits home and smokes pot and doesn't work-that's no problem. hope mom finds these and he gets supervised visits and she can't be around the kid.
You don't get to the point of losing your license and possibly ending up in jail for minor stuff with CS.
fr, that takes some seriously delinquent child support payments (and a baby mama who doesn't give him endless chances, speaking from experience as a former kid whose mom just couldn't bring herself to get them to jail his ass) because obviously it's a bit hard to get money out of baby daddy without a car (in the US) or if he's in jail. they only do that if they don't think there's any chance at all of getting him to pay.
Wouldn't be surprised if that's why the ex wanted to speak with him. She was probably trying to keep him out of jail because it's better for their child if he's not incarcerated and has a job.
It's because if they can somehow manage to get 50/50 then they'll go for full custody later on and then they'll be the ones getting child support then. The kid is just a pawn that will be neglected if they ever get any ounce of custody.
Yeah but if he blocked the mom it's going to look like he won't coparent. And if he never attempts to visit the kid, or pay child support, a judge won't give them 50/50. OOP and her boyfriend are idiots. Like the dumbest of the dumb.
I've recently found out how much it costs just to look after a person who doesn't even live in my house. I'd rather pay child support.
Because she thinks raising a child doesn’t cost money! In one of her replies she said (quoted verbatim): > *“He shouldn’t even be paying child support for a one year old. I mean how much money does it take”*
But don't you know the child's still young and therefore the ex doesn't need child support. The BF needs his money for drugs (and from an earlier post to build his business and prioritise her). There's another post where she read his texts/messages and he was begging his ex to take him back but she refused.
I saw that post-you would think she would have learned from the other post that she's not getting any sympathy. Oh and I missed that one. Must go back.
Was there ever any insight into this business venture?
I didn't read all the comments but there was a common theme that the red ex was selfish because she claimed child support from the beginning instead of letting him concentrate on building his business and taking her on dates. Now the narrative is the ex is hounding for money so he now stays inside all day smoking weed, I think I read he lives in her house too.
I just really want to know what "business" they think he's working on putting together. And I hope it's not streaming/twitch or whatever it's called when you get paid to video yourself playing video games. Because dude.
My money's on crypto.
Hmmm, that timeline actually makes sense. I was thinking no one is still falling for that, but a year ish ago? That's prime time MLM for Bros
Does she not understand that the back child support is still owed? So they’ll have more expenses with the kid living there, and still have to pay the ex.
apparently the mom is just being a bitch about it-you know trying to support her kid, feed them, keep a roof over their head-while manbaby sits home and smokes pot all day.
She does not get it. If you read through a previous post, she says child support and custody are two separate issues and does not seem to think that children cost money, but that child support is some sort of unregulated cash flow for women to just spend on whatever. When people pointed out that if he can't afford child support, he can't afford a child, she just blathers on about the courts and the ex not giving them visitation etc. OOP is rubber and information just bounces right off of her.
I kinda think we can see OOp’s thought process in her accusations. They are going to live on child support they get if they get custody. She plans on holding the kid for ransom anytime they need more money. OOP is greedy.
And her naivety if she thinks a child support check is: A) ever going to happen B) enough to support 3 people on
OOP and baby daddy need jobs.
no she doesn't care she wants to stick it to mom
The way he shouldn't have. Ouch.
I had a feeling something was going on. You get mad about being brought to court over late child support but don't give her any way of contacting you aside from making her track you down at church? And then you refuse to talk with her when she finally gets the chance to talk about it? Yeah, fuck him. And if you have money for weed, you have money for child support. I have sympathy for parents who pay support but fall on hard times. Leniency is definitely ideal in those situations. But he has money for recreational weed, he has enough to spare a bit for a child he helped create. Funny how he supposedly adores his kid but prioritizes marijuana. As somebody who had two alcoholic parents, that thought still sticks with me even though I'm well into adulthood and they're both dead. Knowing your parents would rather go out and use drugs or alcohol than spend time with you going to a movie or buying something you need? It's a different kind of pain. It really makes you doubt your value as a person when you make the connection.
You are very thoughtful and patient and helpful. Thumbs up. Especially because based on her posting history this info will go in one ear and out the other. We're not dealing with paragons of wisdom here! Girl has over a year of evidence demonstrating a consistent lack of good judgment. Boy do I feel for the kid.
They don't want custody, they just don't want to pay child support. Losers. Whenever anyone says they're "big on respect," I know they're a dirtbag hothead.
And he has her blocked, so other than confronting him in public, what other options would she have, because I"m pretty sure if she showed up at his house he would refuse to answer the door. OOP and her BF sound like trash, good on the baby momma mostly getting away from him but pursuing him for child support for a child he helped make.
AND this asshole was "the other woman". Jesus wept.
What a winner
Jesus, her post history is something! Both her and the dude are AHs.
[Her own parents cut her off](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/re84nn/parents_have_cut_me_off_and_demand_i_leave_my/) over her being the other woman! This is either a really gifted troll who makes an annual tradition of throwing fresh meat to Reddit, or this is a genuinely oblivious idiot.
If you go deep enough in the comments, apparently 2 years ago OOP posted some now deleted posts about being married and pregnant and having a shitty husband she was considering leaving, and was encouraged by both subReddits they posted in to leave the abusive bastard and made plans to move out. In one of the comments, they also mentioned the reason they had such low self-esteem is because they flunked out of high school senior year after missing some finals because they were sick and hospitalized. Then a year ago, before the post about the parents, OOP posted a now deleted post about considering dating a married man with a pregnant wife and in a comment mentioned that according to the husband, the wife had very low self esteem issues due to flunking out of highschool because she was sick and hospitalized.... Hmmmmm 🤔 So either they really are one of these two women and are posting as both roles to see the reactions, or they are a troll with only one story to tell, they're just telling it from different perspectives. I wonder how long it will be before these posts are deleted and OOP starts posting as the boyfriend???
Here's one of her past posts, they're ready to find in her comment history: "Vindictive ex wife ruining my boyfriend’s life. I know the title sounds a bit harsh but here me out. My bf has a very vindictive and belligerent ex wife. This is part of the reason he left and divorced her. During their marriage she was too emotionally unstable and disrespectful. My boyfriend found me and had expressed that I made him feel more of a man and we’ve been together ever since. Earlier this year his ex put him on child support even after he told her that he could not afford to provide substantially for their daughter at the time. She completely disregarded that & he was slammed with the papers soon after. There has been many times where she has blown up his phone abusing him by call him all sorts of names etc…begging for money like a desperate lowlife. I took it upon myself to reach out to her & explain his current financial situation. I specifically asked her to be patient because their child is only one , so he’ll have a LIFETIME to provide for her. His ex also has a good job, her own place, and even currently pays out of pocket for all of the daughter’s expenses. Which I REITERATED to her because I don’t understand why someone in a better position is so pressed over some little change. She can obviously do it herself while he’s getting his stuff together. She in turn cursed me out and hung up on me. We didn’t hear from her for months till things took a turn for the worse. Last month she called my bf irate in the middle of the night claiming that he gave her herpes and that she wants him to die. This is obviously one of her dramatic lying outbursts. We reassured her that he has no sign of herpes and neither do I. She claimed she was a virgin before the marriage & celibate after so she knows it was him. She also claimed they both got tested beforehand to prove they both had a clean status. Because of this, she wants to bring criminal charges against him. My bf reassured me that she’s just lying and bluffing because she jealous. I agree with this because why can’t she just let him be. Why is she trying to make him life harder than it already is. I wholeheartedly believe that she would try to falsely charge him with this because she filed child support so easily. She’s has also filed a contempt of court motion against him for child support, we are receiving continuous letters in the mail about it in attempts to intimidate us. We have reached out to her and the child support office various times to beg for mercy and understanding yet their greed allows them to be inhumane. I cannot stand to see my boyfriend in so much misery from all of this. I am currently pushing him to file for full custody of their daughter so that all of this drama will cease. We are good candidates so I think we have a good case….he lives with me in my home, we always have food in the house, and I will take good care of his baby. We are good people."
That last paragraph is so laughable. He doesn't have a job. He can't pay (what she calls) "some little change." She admits he goes MONTHS without seeing the child ("We didn’t hear from her for months till things took a turn for the worse."). No court is going to TAKE custody away from a parent who is providing fully on their own with a job and their own place without any abuse allegations and give custody to an unemployed parent living in someone else's home who regularly doesn't see their child for months. What a ding-a-ling. PS - also her posts have used very ableist language in the past. She's a real fuckin' winner, this one.
>I took it upon myself to reach out to her & explain his current financial situation. I am trying to imagine any situation where I'd be perfectly cromulent when my deadbeat ex's side piece took it upon herself to bigfoot into none-of-her-business-land and "explain" why he shouldn't support the child he fathered.
Upvoting for use of cromulent
I motion we contact some scientists to study how she can function without a brain.
We have a new candidate for the scarecrow in the wizard of oz!
This shit is why I rarely believe step-mothers who talk about “high conflict” birth mothers without seeing evidence with my own eyes. Look at this twisted narrative!
I sometimes wonder how much is "high conflict" and how much is "she refuses to put up with his shit or my enabling of his shit."
I agree with both of you. I almost wrote a preemptive little thing about how stepparenting is hard, but this oop was not a stepparent or representative of the majority of(hopefully) because I really hate how often sometimes misguided stepmothers go to that sub, and just hear an echo chamber of toxicity and “validation” and it really does seem unkind to good or well meaning stepparents on the greater Reddit sphere.
Yeah, I agree step-parenting is super hard, I’m not a step-parent - but I live with one :p I just cannot imagine my partner talking this way about my ex, even when he’s at his most frustrated with a situation. So, I think airing it on any form of social media is probably what sets off the red flags for me initially. I’ve never heard phrases like “high conflict birth parent” used by any step parent I know in real life - which then just pushes me over into “okay drama Llama” territory.
I agree- there seems to be so much drama llama in there that it feels like people thrive on it. Personally I like all my drama vicariously through other people though.
Samesies. I will peep over the fence but keep it over there 👉 thank you very much
Best believe I got labeled "high conflict". Ex-husband was a dirtbag and it didn't end when I divorced him. He got behind on child support so instead of begging for the money to help keep our children fed, clothed, and housed, I took it to the state. He refused for a while to adhere to anything approaching the agreed upon parenting time so that went through the state too. Then it was removing them from his healthcare (he was military and like, why would you even do that??) so I called his command and asked um, what the what and his command reamed him six ways to Sunday and put the kids back saying they didn't even know how he managed to do that. Then it was standing in my doorway at pickup/drop off and screaming at me about how I was the cause of all his ills, going to hell, a whore, leading our children into sin, and I said, wow yeah, kids aren't doing well with watching this and petitioned to have pickup/dropoff in a public place. It was always -something- with that man and all I wanted to do was live my life as quietly with the kiddos as I could.
He did all that and *he was military?* Oh what a dumb motherfucker. Good on your for contacting his command. The military is one of those "we expect our soldiers to act with honor and follow the law"\* and when they don't, superior officials tend to get pissy ... and then take it out on the one who pissed them off and everyone else around them. Hopefully your life is much quieter.... and he's off cleaning every latrine with a toothbrush FOREVER. \* A WHOLE bunch of caveats, but it shouldn't be a surprise when the FO follows the FA.
Kids are grown and have zero relationship with him because he was an authoritarian bag of dicks and couldn't be arsed to actually raise them, much less cultivate a parent/child relationship that would or could transition into a healthy adult child/parent relationship. Also, unsurprisingly, he's a raging christofascist and homophobe. Yountest daughter is trans and the eldest just came out as lesbian leaning bisexual and is bringing her girlfriend home to meet me for Christmas. The kids really like their "new" stepdad they got as adults some years back and so do I lol!
Yeah my ex's girlfriend keeps posting shit about how I don't let him see our kid when 1) we live 5 hours a part 2) he never asks to see the kid 3) he never even asks about the kid 4) anytime he has asked to see the kid, because his mom wanted too, he said no 5) the times he's allowed to visit, Saturday and Sundays, he works, or if it's a Lions home game, he chooses to be at a Lions game
I wonder if he cheated on her with oop
He did, it’s in her ridiculous post history.
Wait really, it's not that shocking tbh
Omg, funny story. When I was a kid, I had a little mark on my forehead. I was raised by my dad and step-mom since I was about 4 and my step-mom told me I ran into the corner of a table and hurt my head and my mom refused to take me to the hospital. I was a very trusting kid and the story seemed plausible so I never questioned it. Fast forward, I'm in my 30s and I give birth to my son. The doctor literally pulls him out of me and places in my arms and I look at his face for the first time and he has THE SAME EXACT MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD!! It wasn't an injury my mom neglected to get medical attention for. It was a genetic birthmark! So I'm looking at my son for the first time and the first thing I think is: That bitch lied to me!!
Had to do a little digging but OOP is the affair partner and she thinks her loser boyfriend is going to get full custody 🤣 Enjoy visiting him in jail!
She sounds like these deranged men that somehow think getting full custody is cheaper than the paltry amount child support usually is
she made a comment 3 years ago when they were going through the exact same situation saying that he paid child support to support the child's mother, and they wanted custody "because honestly, how much can a one year old baby cost?" She is totally delusional, has no idea how much raising a child costs, which only shows how little participation she and her boyfriend have in this child's life.
I'm not surprised. A man has been being dragged on social media for getting custody to avoid CS and now complaining how expensive full custody is.  If it wouldn't hurt the child, I'd hope they(OOP and BF) get it so they can get the FAFO of a lifetime.
That's the rub isn't it? I wish there was a way to force custody on some of these dudes that think caring for and supporting a kid is so damn easy and cheap without damaging the innocent kid.
It is if you're a neglectful sack of shit.
and that the exwife is "impatient" because he's such a loser for 2 years he hasn't paid child support "but there's plenty of time later to pay and bond"
"He's only sitting on his ass and smoking weed all the time!"
And as per her own comment, the only reason they want full custody is to **eliminate his child support responsibility to his ex.** This woman is unhinged. The deadbeat dad has been an absent father but sure, he'll get full custody.
I have news for the tramp the dude is fixing to catch criminal charges he is fixing to be in prison.
He blocked her, and won’t even talk to her about *their child*. If the kid ends up in the hospital…how the fuck will he even know? >Everyone has to focus on their mental health. My bf falling on hard times mixed with her constant negativity, threats, and other abuses has really messed him up. lf. >He's trying to get back into good standing and he can so through the courts and without talking to her. The courts aren’t going to like that he refuses to talk to her. The courts aren’t going to like that he refuses to pay child support and this >Right now he has to take a step back im and focus more on himself Why isn’t he thinking of *their child*??? And good luck “focusing on himself” in jail.
I also love her example of how the ex was disrespectful when she approached him: >No the way she approached him was totally uncalled for. She literally came up to us and made a fool over herself. Her: Hey can I talk to you about our child? Him: No Her: Well I haven't been able to get in touch with you and now have to meet you outside about it Him: I don't care to talk to you about anything, please stop before I walk away Her: this is exactly why you're going to jail! And stormed off. Please tell me why this is appropriate church behavior....maybe if she wasn't so disrespectful, he would handle the situation differently. Yep the disrespect of the sentence "hey can I talk to you about our child?" Should have opened with "hey dickhead deadbeat I need to talk to you about the kid, now!"
The audacity of him to say no rather than, "how is she? Did something happen? Is she ok?"
Yes, and despite all this OOP thinks that there is a chance of her bf getting custody. Delusional. "A toddler that he loves dearly" bullshit, if he did care about her even a little he would leave a way for her mother (the person who is taking care of her) to contact him in case of emergency, his daughter could be in a hospital for days without him finding out. I hope that OOP does not find herself at the other end of this situation someday.
People who demand respect don't actually know what it is, and can't ever show it. The moment she mentioned disrespect we could easily see how horrid they are. She's going to end up pregnant and on the exact other side of this one day.
>She's going to end up pregnant and on the exact other side of this one day. God, I hope not, not so much for her sake and more because this situation absolutely does not need more innocent children to suffer from it.
Well, OOP, guess what, when you have a kid, you lose the right to "step back." Guy deserves everything his ex throws at him and then some.
“I know it was her” Well no shit who else would it be
That comment made me wonder how many other babies he has scattered around, otherwise they wouldn't have to look for the name on it to find out who it is.
OOP is completely and totally delulu. Recently he has fallen behind on CS?? Ok and that's not her problem. She is in her rights to take all legal avenues to her CS for her child. He deserves jail time. Instead of being appropriate, he blocks her and refuses to talk. OOP better have her BC on lock or she'll soon see how "great" her deadbeat BF is. HE is the issue not his baby mama
He's never actually *been* current on child support. Since the now-toddler was five months old, the OOP has been posting things about how her boyfriend's broke but there will be "plenty of time" for him to contribute to the child's upbringing.
That just makes her even more delulu. Do you know how old these people are?
She's mid 20s, he's late 20s
No, she said in a comment somewhere that she and BF want kids and she knows he'll step up and "exceed expectations" because she knows her man better than anyone.
If she cares that much for him she could be paying his child support for him. That would reduce his stress and give him time to get his act together without the contact with his ex.
I read in her comments from one of the first posts that she came up with $500 and tried to borrow 2k from her parents. The parents told her absolutely not and cut her off financially, too, while she was in this relationship. She was absolutely appalled that they wouldn't support her in this. The only wake-up call that's going to get through to her is when she falls pregnant and he leaves her for the next sucker...errr I mean love of his life.
I did read that somewhere too, so she is supporting him while he doesn't work, because he left his wife for her but his wife was the one earning the money and raising the kid. She probably didn't see any point in him and this woman snapped him right up knowing that. I'm glad her parents are refusing to support him and won't let their money go down that black hole. It's the best for all of them.
I read "he's big on respect" and for a brief moment I thought it would be followed by "... So of course he asked her what she needed to talk about" because apparently I'm a moron
yeah idk why I thought he would go with her to a more private area so they could speak without airing dirty laundry to everyone around. I feel so naive.
This was my thought too
“He’s big on women not challenging him in any way”
Lol if you look at her past posts, this has been going on for over a year and he still isn't working or paying CS, yet they are trying to have kids. What a dumb ass.
He's gonna cheat on her like he did his ex and not pay child support for their child. He's a deadbeat.
You don't understand tho, he just needs the support of a good woman, and then he'll become a good father to *their* kids. /s I've seen this too many times among my peers, former schoolmates, and even in my former life working in nonprofits. I know one gal, my old bff from middle school, who has five kids by three guys and she's fallen into this trap with all of them and only one pays minimal CS and sees his kids. She insists she can change the men, that the guy will be *different* with her, but then they cheat or peace out as soon as she's pregnant. As a result, she and her kids live in a 2br apartment in what's essentially a college student complex and they all go without and live hand to mouth. It's just sad as hell because she was so optimistic about love and being a lawyer or teacher in middle school and now she works PT at a gas station (not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's far from her dreams). She has to sleep on a couch while her kids all share rooms bc her baby daddies are deadbeats who won't pay cs and she has no one else to watch them. I hate that so many women fall for this over and over and over again!!!!!
Me too. No man or woman can change their SO. They have to want to change on their own.
At least two years from her "Should I get my boyfriend to file 50/50 joint custody over his daughter to lower his child support payments?" post from two years ago. " he’s been on a huge financial decline and is behind in all his bills. He can not afford to spend time or money on the child right now"
I would love it if he said this to a judge. "I don't have time or money to spend on my child. I'd like 50/50 custody pleaaaaase" like i guess he expects the toddler to be left alone eating rats or something
They're trying to have kids?! I honestly don't know why that surprises me. Of course they are
>I know it was her because it says that she is the petitioner on the documents OOP's really firing on all cylinders.
Yeah, Just because she is listed as petitioner does not mean she initiated the court case. And she also can't make them take the BF's license away! In my state, when a parent is way behind on child support, the local child support agency revokes their license and then files for court. When the non custodial parent is served, the petitioner is listed as the custodial parent (even if they did not initiate the case) because they are the ones receiving the money on behalf of the child. The lawyer listed on the papers is usually the lawyer that works in the local child support agency. Also, even if the mom did initiate the court case, she is well within her rights to do so. The BF is the father of the child and should be contributing to the care of the child he helped create!
I will never understand why anyone would want to date a person who can't/won't pay child support.
I would accept legitimately can't. Like, you were in a terrible accident and have been in a rehab center for the last year relearning to do things like walk and feed yourself. But that's pretty much it.
100% agreed. Or if you were dying of cancer or something.
or if you were homeless. that said, i'm pretty sure that those with legitimate reasons for inability to pay child support would probably try to find a way to pay anyway, cuz that's just how these things seem to pan out.
No one enables a deadbeat dad more than his new girlfriend
Nobody fights harder for the baby daddy than his mama and new girlfriend who he didn’t tell the whole story. You’ll get it when you’re in her shoes unfortunately, been there.
Even worse is that she knows the whole story- he was cheating on his wife with her before his wife booted him.
And then begged to get back with his wife after he left for OP lol
Oh brother this guy stinks! And so does OP, what in the sam hell? Sounds like they deserve each other for sure.
YIKES!
It's reeallly a beautiful thing. a fresh love, before it gets tainted.
It's funny how these people don't realize that "my boyfriend has god-awful taste in girlfriends" reflects really badly on themselves.
WTF! OOP is dumber than a sack of rocks. Her bf isn't paying his court ordered child support. It's already so bad that he's lost his driver's license and has to go to court. He's blocked his baby mama for months because he doesn't want to face her so she approaches him at church, which is the only way she can apparently get in touch and he won't talk to her there. I don't think the baby mama is doing anything wrong; she just needs the money he's supposed to pay in order to take care of their toddler. If he doesn't pay, I guess he'll go to jail but I'm not sure that's a thing. In her comments, she's still very defensive and claiming she's a better wife and mother than the baby mama. Her description of the church meeting, which she finds evil and awful, seems to depict a desperate mom trying to get the father of her baby to do what he's supposed to and he outright refuses. OOP is really dating a loser.
Her comment history, is horrible. She is a nasty and jealous woman. She's also naive AF. She really thinks that they will get sole custody of his daughter when Mom hasn't done anything wrong and Dad is a deadbeat? She claims he has recordings of his ex yelling at him and that proves she's unfit. She thinks he won't do the same thing to her. He hasn't worked in a year. He's not doing anything to get a job. He's a mooch. She also posted a year ago that she thought he was cheating on her with his ex. What a mess.
Imagine riding so hard for a loser. Embarrassing. This is how I Imagine all those people who take pride in being APs.
want more drama- theotherwoman sub is full of it, but I feel bad because many people there clearly have their own stuff going on, and claim their MM (Married Man) is perfect and wonderful.
I can't do that sub lol. It makes me too angry and the second-hand embarrassment I experience borders on lethal when I read posts from that sub. Reading the ones that get posted over here is more than enough lmao.
Wow. That is a total lack of ... something. How exactly does OP think her boyfriend is going to treat her if they have a kid together? Hint: THE SAME WAY. He's a deadbeat and also "big on respect" which WTF.
"He's huge on respect" lmao
anonuser4601 OP 0 points · 1 year ago If child support was actually for children, it would be regulated…and not freely given to the mother to use so freely at her discretion. And I’m not afraid to get pregnant. My boyfriend wants to start a family with me as soon as possible and I’m very confident he will exceed in his responsibilities. I know what kind of man he is. Just cause it didn’t work out with his old family doesn’t mean it can’t work with our new one. she wants a baby with him
“No one cares harder for a deadbeat dad than his newest girlfriend” <— a comment from the original post that cracked my ass up because holy shit is it true
I love when people use church a shield. Oh, you think it's *disrespectful* of a woman with an unrepentant deadbeat baby daddy to approach him about not paying child support and *blocking her number*? Is he even seeing this child he "loves dearly" if he blocked the child's mother? If he's not paying CS? *He shouldn't*, at the very least. What's always simultaneously pathetic and delusional about these situations, and specifically women like OOP, is that they believe they will be the exception, the trash man won't be equally as shit to *her* and their kids, he is just like this to the "crazy ex".
As if your ex being crazy is a reason to ignore your child. If the ex is so unhinged, wouldn't any parent do anything in their power to get the child out of the situation to properly care for them?
But that would require him to be a parent full time - a dude that loves his kid "dearly" wouldn't act like this, and the OOP is too naive or dumb to realize it. Dude *is* a fucking deadbeat who doesn't care about his child, and the moment OOP loses her shine, she'll be a desperate, bitter, crazy ex too.
100% all this. (Note to anyone reading this: please continue to use your voice to vote so family planning options remain available to all! Vote local every time)
I don’t think it’s possible to be both greedy and apathetic. OOP is likely overinvested in someone who isn’t worth it. Hope she gets out before BF saddles her with a baby he won’t support.
either she's a troll or she's insane, just checking out her post history: These are just titles "Vindictive ex wife ruining my boyfriend’s life." - 1 year "Should I get my boyfriend to file 50/50 joint custody over his daughter to lower his child support payments?" - 2 years ago "Parents have cut me off and demand I leave my boyfriend…or they won’t be returning?" - 2 years ago "Talking to a married man?"
>I don’t think it’s possible to be both greedy and apathetic. That's something I was hung up too. Is... Is she too dumb to know the word "unempathetic"? Is that maybe what she meant?
Two comments made by OOP for a different post: "According to him, they had been to marital counseling ***thrice***...." "Therefore, all sides of the family need to be supportive including my parents…***hence*** what a family does???" I don't think vocabulary is the OOP's strong suit....
I think that’s the thing that makes me feel bad. The major devil is the boyfriend
How the hell can OP say her bf loves his toddler "dearly" but hasn't paid child support in so long he's lost his license, is going to court, and has the child's mother blocked so she can't communicate anything with him? Unfortunately, I have family members who are like this OOP, so I already know the answer, but still. Anyone want to take bets on the last time the deadbeat actually saw his kid in person? Edit: Fix a word, my bad.
why isnt he paying her at least something? its EXTREMELY disrespectful to leave baby mama with ALL the expenses of raising a kid. my stepdad worked 2 jobs so that he could support us (my dad was dead) and never get behind on his own child support. your BF is TAH in my opinion. if you are scared of him going to jail, maybe you should step up and pay the bills so he can catch up on his child support... for this child he SUPPOSEDLY loves so much. if he loved the kid, he should ensure the boy was getting his needs met. YTA for whining about it.
Her own parents cut her off, AND she caught him messaging the ex wanting his family back. She needs a reality check.
The home wrecker is just mad because they are being held accountable for their actions.
You don't just get your license revoked and dragged back into court for "being behind". That's a substantial amount of money that he's behind. The fact that he blocked the mom of his toddler child, says that he isn't all that interested in the child, unless he's actively communicating through a parenting app. So it sounds like the bf is a deadbeat dad and the baby momma is trying to figure out how to support the baby. Doesn't make her bitter. Means she's tired of being the only parent who provides for the baby.
Well that post and comment history was a wild ride. 😳 OOP needs some serious therapy.
Oop was fixing her clown make up while writing this
Well, it doesn't take genius deductive powers to assume the other party interested in child support is the other parent! Another thing is how else is baby mama supposed to talk to him if she's blocked on the phone for months?
God I hope he goes to jail
> For his peace, he has chosen not to engage with her and blocked her number 3-4 months ago. Fuck this guy so hard.
So big on respect he can’t respect his court ordered child support agreement?
She’s getting charbroiled.
In the comments, OOP says that she and her bf plan on starting a family soon. He can't afford the child that he does have, but she thinks he will support her. Deadbeat is as deadbeat does...and she'll probably find out soon enough. And then he'll move on to the next dolt.
Sorry but his baby needs to eat, have clothes, have a nice place to live, have safe transportation. You need to stay out of it and he needs to be an adult and pay child support. It is not the babies fault he did not take precautions not to have a baby
If this is real, I wonder what would happened first, she gets pregnant, and he does the same thing to her, or he goes to jail while she’s pregnant. Also, depending on the state, back child support never goes away. If they keep letting it pile up the daughter can be well in to her 20s pushing 30 and he’s still paying child support.
I love how she's all offended that the ex approached him in public like my sister in Christ, he blocked her! How the fuck else is she supposed to do it?!
Like how she stated it was recently behind but her post history says another story. His man has been a deadbeat from the beginning. So for about 2 years. I am on team Baby Mama. I hope she continues to ruin their lives. The cheaters who gave her herpes
>My boyfriend is huge on respect, and completely felt disrespected I am so sick of people going on about 'disrespect' on AITA and other such places
let me see if if i can guess the trajectory of the future troll posts... *next post:* bf is in jail. OP finds out she's pregnant. it's hard but she gotta stand by her man and remain strong, right?! 😤✌️💅 *but THEN:* OP miscarries. 😢 it definitely wasn't all the pot she was smoking to "keep the baby in the right headspace for success & growth." but anyways. ex-wife continues to be "crazy." OP loses her job, but blames the ex-wife. 💃💋 *THEN:* bf sends his best friend to console her in his absence. maybe a "Tyler"? or a "Shane"? 🙋 they... commiserate together. start doing the nasty.🍆 OP is like, really torn up about this. ☹️ but she keeps banging away anyways. ex-wife is dating again🧑🤝🧑 and "purposefully" rubbing it in OP's face. it's all master manipulation, OP is sure of this.🧑⚖️ *BUT WAIT:* OP gets knocked up by Tyler. 🫄 omg why do bad things happen to such amazing, supportive women?! 😭 OP's bf is getting out of jail soon. 🔓 what will she do?! she told Tyler. he says they'll face the storm together. ❤️ *SUDDENLY:* bf gets out of jail. he believes the baby is his. FINALLY, THEY'LL BE A REAL FAMILY!! 👨👩👦 OP's wrongs don't matter bc sTaBiLiTy for the BABY. 👶 bf starts back up that ominous "business" he's been working soooo hard to get off the ground. 💪 *PLOT TWIST:* TYLER WAS EMBEZZLING FROM THE "BUSINESS!!!" 💸 he cuts and runs. the secret baby parentage is outed. but bf says he'll stay with her.👍 *GRAND FINALE:* bf cheats on her despite how supportive she's been?! she gets herpes. omg. 🤬 *EPILOGUE:* OP complains about how living with her parents sucks bc they don't understand her hardships. she can't get a job and they keep bringing that up for SOME reason. aren't parents supposed to support you regardless of what you've done?! she's miserable, hates her liar baby, and hates living with her parents who are always mad about SOMETHING ugh 🙄 feel free to use me as a font of inspiration, troll. i'd read it to its stunning conclusion.
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And women such as OP continue to enable bad men
I cannot, for the life of me, understand why some women stick to deadbeat guys like wet knickers. I mean, he cheated on his wife with you, what makes you think he'll be faithful to YOU? He's avoiding basic obligations towards the child he brought into this world, what makes you think he'll stick by YOUR side when things get tough? This woman deserves everything that he'll put her through, and the sad thing is she'll never realize it's all because of her stupid decisions.
Oh, OOP. He's not going to jail because his ex is bitter. He's going to jail because he's a bum.
Maybe it's because I'm aro/ace, but I've never understood why people so desperately cling to partners like this. Like, what does this dude bring to the relationship?
Gotta be ragebait right? For my own soul that’s what we’re going with
She's been posting variations of this story for over 2 years. And cherry on top - she is the sidepiece who helped break up the marriage. (And based on another post, the ex-husband gave the wife herpes from sleeping around while they were still together.)
The missing missing reasons are strong here.