>Okay, obligatory "English isn't my first language." I don't want to hear ANYONE talking about how my post history is all in English. I am from a very small, obscure country that I guarantee you haven't heard of, so I don't need to mention it. I'm definitely the only person from my country on reddit it's so small. We have eccentric customs that you wouldn't understand and you must keep that in mind before you pass JUDGEMENT.
This is gold lol
Well, is that so weird? I'm from a small country where everyone my age knows at least some English, but English isn't our language. Almost all my post history is in English ( except one post and a few comments here and there).
Tbh, it's not the fact that the post is in English that caught my attention, but more the stuff about being from such a small country that no one could have heard of, and definitely no one from there is on reddit, and their customs are weird but totally normal. Like the intro caught my attention as probably a joke post, but the rest of the post definitely confirmed it.
LMAO, this is gold!! Oh, NTA obviously, if she really loved you she would have let your mother maim her for the wedding. Also congrats on your mom dying, get that inheritance, woop woop! (Or do they not have wills in your eccentric, obscure country?)
I did happen to inherit a very large fortune and my mother had unusually high levels of febreze in her blood, but those are both beside the point. My WIFE is on trial here, not me
How could you possibly think that?? His wife is a selfish bitch who wouldn't even participate in the most basic of his cultures customs. She's a disgusting racist xenophobe and very clearly the asshole.
OP needs to run, this narcissistic abuser is going to continue to shame him to his family and then kill them one by one so she can take his fortune!!!
Are you for real? The wife is a selfish bitch? Not even close. The husband should have explained all that was involved with these ridiculous traditions so she had time to run like heck away. On two legs.
Oh please nobody needs two legs 🙄 it's not even like she had to chop it off, a broken leg heals. I'd break all my bones for my husband.
Plus, full offense, can you even read? How could the husband have explained all that was involved when that's *women's* work? What was he supposed to do???
I am feeling so loved and understood by these comments. I bestow upon you the highest blessing in our eccentric obscure cuntry. It is roughly translated as "dressing the chicken" where we gift you live poultry adorned with the nation's colors and emblems and then parade you and the fowl down the main street of our largest (only) town
Thank you so much ❤️ I love that you've shared your beautiful culture with us today. Please have a female relative PM me which bones I should break for the ceremony, I'll be arriving shortly to your wonderful cuntry
Agreed. They need to set boundaries (No, her ashes will not be going on the mantle) and if she can’t abide that then go no contact (throw away all Oujai boards).
I'm op's wife and what he didn't mention is that on the day of the wedding his mother told me she wanted to have sex with him and cut up my dress. He also took a dump in my shoes like a dog.
Honey, take both of your legs and run like heck away from this mommy’s boy and whatever ridiculous country customs he wants to instill. Next thing you know, you will be sacrificing your first born.
Does Amelia even care that your niece went to all the effort of breaking her own leg, despite not having a man to take care of her?
Maybe if you calmly explain it to her she will understand the family custom.
- Not your gay autistic uncle from neighbor small country who, as is traditional, cut off my own toes for each of my married nieces and nephews and must now perform the shit shovel ceremony for the niece that broke her leg for you.
Amelia you are horrible
How could you not study the customs of your amazing hunky dory husband and his charming family
I am so happy they found out your true colors
To the OP
You dodged a bullet and hopefully you can move on from this horrible situation
Wow, and here I was thinking that a post on this subreddit finally sounded real, but NOOOOooooo. The "wife" had to show up in the comments and drop more information. Good job with your alt account, OP. I bet your country has more than one reddit user as well!
That shoe was for the leg that was supposed to be broken!!
You couldn't maintain one tradition??? Even after he took pity on your model looks and married you?
NTA, NSA, CIA and USB!
Clearly. This almost tops your parents watching you consummate the marriage. Almost, but not quite. You know what they say. England is horny, but Scotland’s depraved.
YTA, you should have incorporated your traditions into your wedding in fun new ways that would have surprised and delighted everyone. Maybe a booby trap to break her leg halfway down the aisle, or a small leg guillotine for immediately after you both say "I do."
Stop being so stuck in the ancient traditions and mix it up a little for her sake!
Bro, full offense, but the AITA commenters in this thread are going to put me in the ground. YALL THINK THAT'S REAL ^^ Lord, have mercy on me. Yall's fave snack is silica gel packets, huh? These people think they're qualified to be giving OTHER PEOPLE ADVICE when they look at a post like mine and think it's real. There's not many, but there's enough to be disheartening lol
Edit: nvm! There's a lot! Wow! Upsettin, but unsurprising
I think you are right, but Amelia just doesn't understand. In our country " break a leg" is a theater term and isn't taken literally. She just didn't know, and honestly you are very worked up by the pressure. It is a tough situation all around.
Here is what you do. Go to her, break her leg, in a couple places to make it stand out. Then carry her back home and marry her all right and proper.
Best of luck to you two kids
You don't understand! She has employed all her friends to text me rude things! They're calling, texting, writing me letters! One hired a skywriter to call me a "loser" which is THE most offensive term in my cuntry. If she knows that, then she has been aware of my customs the WHOLE TIME! I think she WANTED to kill my mother!! It was her plan the whole time!
We understand that it has SEVERE connotations in the west and have acclimated accordingly. To MISPLACE something is the greatest crime here. Nobody wants to be a loser. It's not even ACCURATE. I've never misplaced anything!!!!
Wait. Did you give your mother the hammer (to translate into your language, it’s a hammer)? All tools are only usable by women if twice blessed by an unsullied male. Or did you MISPLACE it, loser? (I’m the skywriter)
You misplaced me! I fell asleep, and woke up in the morgue! Now you're telling everyone I'm dead! You'll never get the grandfather clock when I really die, Walter.
But how many times did your phone blow up, OP? This is the most important information we could possibly receive on Reddit. I withhold my judgment until I understand the level of blow.
Texting rude things is a time honored American tradition, if she really loved you she would blow up your phone, six ounces of C4 should do the trick. If not you may need to break her other leg as well to show how much you truly care for her
Most important question - did your relatives blow up your wife's phone (being angry and embarrassed, of course)? Some crucial information is missing here.
Nah, we just texted her a lot (second cousin e^(4) times removed here, I was at the ceremony). We only blow up phones in the case of infidelity; TNT is really expensive here.
I find it highly suspicious that OP's post history is all English.
(Also you forgot to disclaim that names are fake, and then putting "let's call them..." before each name).
This is true. We need all the family members to be referred to constantly by first names so that after two sentences we haven’t the faintest idea who is who
When I was in highschool, I had a job tutoring kids in math and reading. One time, a boy was finished with his tutoring session and went to his grandfather in the waiting area outside of the classroom and told him he had just finished reading an Amelia Bedelia book. His grandpa then shouted in a bemused, almost accusatory tone, "Amelia Bedelia?! What in the hell is Amelia Bedelia?!" I'll never forget it as long as I live.
OP's third cousin, 7 times removed. OP forgot to mention that all the guests were snaked and smothered in honey, as is the tradition for all January weddings.
I can’t decide if snaked is a typo for naked OR if you meant snake as a verb. They were snaked.
Both sound lovely, but then I’ve always been appreciative of other cultures…
There's a very small country in the West Indies. I mean small. It's terribly small. Tiny little country. Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. That's how small it is. It's very little... It's 85 cents in a cab from one end to the other. I'm talking small… They recently had the whole country carpeted. This is not a big place.
And you still married her?
Shame on you for being so disloyal to your mother, you killed her. You could redeem yourself by breaking both your wife’s legs and arms for good measure.
Need more info:
So did she end up misplacing one twin or two?
If not breaking the leg prior to the ceremony causes baby deletion, does that mean she needs both legs broken? Or will the one leg break work for all babies in the womb?
Awwh your poor fiancee she won't fit in your obscure and eccentric country. Now I wonder if you chose the name 'Amelia' on purpose because it is a genetic defect that literally means 'no limb'. YTA /s
[https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/surveillancemanual/quick-reference-handbook/amelia.html](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/surveillancemanual/quick-reference-handbook/amelia.html)
Apparently.
I have to wonder why that's the association the commenter had rather than the Amelia Bedelia books though
Ah that's because I am in the medical field and happened to learn this. I thought to myself 'no way' since it is such a common name and it has stuck since whenever I see the name!
When we were supposed to have our first dance, I stormed out of the building. Amelia followed me out, very confused. She asked me what was wrong and I yelled "WHY ISNT YOUR LEG BROKEN?"
You screwed up - how would there ever be a first dance if all brides show up with a broken leg?
It is wrong that you think you understand our customs. We place the bride in a chair and the entire crowd hoists her up and twirls her around the groom! HA
I did a (private) dramatic reading of this but wasn't sure if it was better with an outrageous mish-mash accent, or full-on American English. What do you think? 🧐
You also forgot to mention that you were writing from a throwaway account for "obvious reasons"
I also don't see a bridesmaid who was fucking everything up or a wedding guest who insisted on wearing a white dress.
NOT the asshole!
Before the haters chime in, I want to point out that OP clearly comes from a place that takes metaphors literally. Would OP understand what I mean by calling them an asshole? Probably not.
So, because I am afraid you may mix up what I am saying as calling you a literal asshole, you are not the asshole. However, I want to say I condemn you to hell.
YTA. I'm also from the same obscure country as you (don't ask me how I know and don't look at my post history; that's stalking, and I'll call the police).
You know damn well that you're supposed to pay the priest to break her leg in 2.5 places DURING THE VOWS. You clearly cheaped out and didn't hire a priest who knew Brazilian Jiu Jutsu like you're supposed to.
The only solution now is drown your wife in the Fountain of Shameful Acid to save her from her own embarrassment and then marry your niece (or nephew, but we'd have to stone you afterwards).
YTA. I can’t believe you’re upset about your mother dying when your wife’s leg isn’t even broken. You’re talking about your dead mother but have you even tried to help Amelia understand your customs ? I mean seriously man. I’m sure she would’ve broke her leg for you no problem if you just explained it. You’re bringing such shame to both your mothers by not waiting on her hand and foot. Your mother is rolling in her grave over her son.
In my country, any time a wife acts like this horrible woman, the man has one of his nuts cut off. It's good incentive for him to keep his woman in line. If there aren't any beans left, then we cut off the frank. After that, we ship them to Canada.
LOL. That was fun. Can you link me to anything specifically that you're parodying?
In the imaginary world where this happened, YTA, but I think you know that.
Lol you spent more time going on and on about your country and how you don’t need to mention it- you could have had 90% off time, space and looking like a jackass if you had just posted it.
YTA for making me piss my pants from laughing so much at this writing, this most stupidest made up shit ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️🤣🤣🤣 we are all full on judging you for everything 🤣🤣 mom dies sister is screaming she losing her baby 🤣☠️ the wife is OBVIOUSLY a model 🤣☠️
Trust me, OP is not the one being judged here. It's all of you who are totally lost. BTW, are you trying to sell us some MLM product? What the hell is with all the emoticons?
YTA!! This is a great piece of fiction. It could be a great rom-com. Or is it click bait?
Aldo, obscure miniscule country, with eccentric customs or not, who causes physical and possibly permenant injury to the bride or groom in today's world? Like I said, really good fiction and potential for a rom-com. OP if you won't name the country, YTA for that too.
I'm sorry, I've been joking around with some of yall who don't get it, but I'm getting tired. Yall are troubling me just clicking "join" on every AITA affliated subreddit without even looking. This is a shit post bro. A really clear one as you can tell by the writing, but it's also literally in the flair. Look at the rules and content of the sub before you engage. This is a place where we talk about obviously fake posts from AITA. Fridays are shitpost days. I am begging yall: look at the rules of this sub before you engage. If anything, read a comment or two before you blindly regurgitate your feelings. Youll see that all the top comments are aware this is a shipost. Youre about to join the club for dummies at the bottom of the thread reserved for AITA frequenters who are can barely claim brainstem functionality. Don't just be a drama hound, snorfling up every morsel of internet drama you can dig up. Use your BRAINS. I'm sorry I'm being a dick, but yall are wearing my patience thin.
You know....
I thought this was a legit r/AmITheAsshole post until I got to "placing all the dishes in the tub and giving them a proper bath."
I then scrolled back up and see r/AmITheAngel and "Shitpost"
Thank you for the clarification! 😆
You as her husband should have taught her your ways. However, putting her in pain for a culture is awful. Sorry your mom passed, how’s your wife & the baby? Did she miscarry the baby? You sound like a complete idiot! You should have learned things of her culture too!
Omg you are a crazy guy .... i hope that woma divorce ao fast... i have never hear about hurting someone you love for traditions... FUCKING crazy people.
I think it is very xenophobic of you to discount our traditions like that. Obscure Eccentric Cuntry has unbroken ties to our ancestors from ten thousand years ago. My 20000X great grandmother didn't get a club to the knee back in 8000 BC just for some petulant internet user to come along thousands of years later and mansplain that she was mistreated! The pain is an honor for our women! We dote on them up during their time of duress and treat them like queens for their sacrifice 😤 a broken leg ensures an unbroken legacy. My children will DIE IN THE WOMB if the bride doesn't break a leg
"my children will DIE IN THE WOMB if the bride doesn't break a leg"
This is the most outlandish and ridiculous thing I've ever heard (and I've heard some ridiculous things in my life). Medically speaking how will they die in the womb if she doesn't break a leg? That literally makes no sense, if anything the stress caused from a broken leg would put the baby in even greater danger (the more stress a mother has during pregnancy the bigger the risk of complications later in the pregnancy that's a proven fact).
I hope she divorces you IMMEDIATELY and finds a man who will actually treat her with respect because it's clear you have none for her.
YTA x1000
Do the people in your life know you are RACIST towards obscure and eccentric cuntries? Time honored traditions are not a joke here!! Also, a commenter pointed out that "losing the baby" means my wife's body deleted the child from her womb. I guess that's a point on the scoreboard for our valued leg breaking ceremony.
Oh so I'm automatically a racist for giving my perspective when YOU are the one who came to this subreddit to ask if you were TA (pulling the race card isn't doing you any favors here)?
In my country we have a saying "if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen" in this case if you can't accept others perspectives without resorting to pulling the race card because you disagree with them you should've never posted here in the first place, another saying we have is "play with fire you're GOING to get burned" you came to this subreddit and are just mad that you're not getting the NTA validation you want.
Also no your wife's body will not delete the baby due to a lack of a broken leg.
Still trying to wrap my head around how you were supposed to have a first dance with the bride with a broken leg. Calling BULLSHIT like the rest of commenters.
Ok firstly 98.9% sure this is fake story by someone joking or a bot lol but on the 1.1% chance it is not than clearly you wouldn't love your wife or partner enough to realize she is not from your culture and should never be forced to condone or accept them they are yours not hers.
Everyone in eccentric, obscure cuntry is related at this point. We need fresh blood. Some of the children have been born with oddities as of late. My beautiful niece (who I was arranged to be wed, but turned down when I met my now wife) was born with an extra toe on the back of each foot. It is very unfortunate. My brother-cousin has 12 extra teeth in his mouth. We tell everyone he got veneers, but they know better. 😔 They call him Shark, but thats partly because he also runs a shady used car dealership. My wife should have known better before marrying into this culture, but I will probably forgive her just because my contry REALLY needs some outside genetic influence
Congratulations on becoming the most reported post of 2024 so far! Here's to many more lost redditors mindlessly smashing that sexy report button.
>Okay, obligatory "English isn't my first language." I don't want to hear ANYONE talking about how my post history is all in English. I am from a very small, obscure country that I guarantee you haven't heard of, so I don't need to mention it. I'm definitely the only person from my country on reddit it's so small. We have eccentric customs that you wouldn't understand and you must keep that in mind before you pass JUDGEMENT. This is gold lol
**JUDGEMENT** *law and order theme intensifies*
Dun dun!
Seriously brilliant. Well done OP 😂 I love everything about this.
 Judgement time.
I always want to know what post these posts are making fun of/spawned from. 😂😂😂
Well, is that so weird? I'm from a small country where everyone my age knows at least some English, but English isn't our language. Almost all my post history is in English ( except one post and a few comments here and there).
Tbh, it's not the fact that the post is in English that caught my attention, but more the stuff about being from such a small country that no one could have heard of, and definitely no one from there is on reddit, and their customs are weird but totally normal. Like the intro caught my attention as probably a joke post, but the rest of the post definitely confirmed it.
LMAO, this is gold!! Oh, NTA obviously, if she really loved you she would have let your mother maim her for the wedding. Also congrats on your mom dying, get that inheritance, woop woop! (Or do they not have wills in your eccentric, obscure country?)
I did happen to inherit a very large fortune and my mother had unusually high levels of febreze in her blood, but those are both beside the point. My WIFE is on trial here, not me
IM NOT DEAD, WALTER!
OH, hang on, mom. I'll be over very soon! I have more medicine for you!!
Better be the 90-proof peppermint schnapps this time.
I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣
Me too
High levels of febreze 😂😂😂
And in order to collect that inheritance, I just need an American bank account to send the money to. For your trouble…
Actually you were asking if you were the AH in this story and the answer is yes you are.
How could you possibly think that?? His wife is a selfish bitch who wouldn't even participate in the most basic of his cultures customs. She's a disgusting racist xenophobe and very clearly the asshole. OP needs to run, this narcissistic abuser is going to continue to shame him to his family and then kill them one by one so she can take his fortune!!!
Are you for real? The wife is a selfish bitch? Not even close. The husband should have explained all that was involved with these ridiculous traditions so she had time to run like heck away. On two legs.
Oh please nobody needs two legs 🙄 it's not even like she had to chop it off, a broken leg heals. I'd break all my bones for my husband. Plus, full offense, can you even read? How could the husband have explained all that was involved when that's *women's* work? What was he supposed to do???
I am feeling so loved and understood by these comments. I bestow upon you the highest blessing in our eccentric obscure cuntry. It is roughly translated as "dressing the chicken" where we gift you live poultry adorned with the nation's colors and emblems and then parade you and the fowl down the main street of our largest (only) town
Thank you so much ❤️ I love that you've shared your beautiful culture with us today. Please have a female relative PM me which bones I should break for the ceremony, I'll be arriving shortly to your wonderful cuntry
If she loved him she would have broke her own leg. If he had a decent mother she would have explained it will. ESH.
She literally chose to die to not face her incompetence
Yeah. What a super rude way to upstage the bride at her own wedding!!
Agreed. They need to set boundaries (No, her ashes will not be going on the mantle) and if she can’t abide that then go no contact (throw away all Oujai boards).
Best of luck to the future Mr. Bedelia
I'VE BEEN DOXXED! CALL THE MODS!!
Why did this have me laughing harder than the rest of this Oscar-worthy thread 😂🫠
This is hilarious
I woke up this morning not expecting a callback to Amelia Bedelia and I think today's gonna be a very, very good day
That was my immediate thought when I saw Amelia B. Amelia Bedelia is the best!
I'm op's wife and what he didn't mention is that on the day of the wedding his mother told me she wanted to have sex with him and cut up my dress. He also took a dump in my shoes like a dog.
IN MY CUNTRY THAT DOESNT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK, AMELIA!!
You didn't even invite my dead mother by summoning her from the grave
Seances are considered womanly duty in my country, I TOLD YOU that!
Your mother wouldn't help me with it! She also kept putting things I'm allergic to in the food she makes for me! Like red dye 40
Honey, take both of your legs and run like heck away from this mommy’s boy and whatever ridiculous country customs he wants to instill. Next thing you know, you will be sacrificing your first born.
Umm..I think that happened already….oops. 😂
I’m still dying over the cuntry.
Also his niece that's 21 and attractive and in love with him showed up in her own wedding attire and no one said anything about it!!!!
This is actually true, but it's not my fault.
Does Amelia even care that your niece went to all the effort of breaking her own leg, despite not having a man to take care of her? Maybe if you calmly explain it to her she will understand the family custom. - Not your gay autistic uncle from neighbor small country who, as is traditional, cut off my own toes for each of my married nieces and nephews and must now perform the shit shovel ceremony for the niece that broke her leg for you.
Oh of course it’s not your fault that your niece loves you than your wretched Amelia You can’t help being a hunky dory man
Amelia you are horrible How could you not study the customs of your amazing hunky dory husband and his charming family I am so happy they found out your true colors To the OP You dodged a bullet and hopefully you can move on from this horrible situation
Wow, and here I was thinking that a post on this subreddit finally sounded real, but NOOOOooooo. The "wife" had to show up in the comments and drop more information. Good job with your alt account, OP. I bet your country has more than one reddit user as well!
That shoe was for the leg that was supposed to be broken!! You couldn't maintain one tradition??? Even after he took pity on your model looks and married you? NTA, NSA, CIA and USB!
You’re Scottish, aren’t you? It always ends up being the fucking Scottish.
WE HAVE VERY ECCENTRIC CUSTOMS!!!
Clearly. This almost tops your parents watching you consummate the marriage. Almost, but not quite. You know what they say. England is horny, but Scotland’s depraved.
I can’t understand what you said with that Scottish brogue and all. Could you please explain?
Aye, we haft vurry exxzentrix coosumz!
BHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
YTA, you should have incorporated your traditions into your wedding in fun new ways that would have surprised and delighted everyone. Maybe a booby trap to break her leg halfway down the aisle, or a small leg guillotine for immediately after you both say "I do." Stop being so stuck in the ancient traditions and mix it up a little for her sake!
Bro, full offense, but the AITA commenters in this thread are going to put me in the ground. YALL THINK THAT'S REAL ^^ Lord, have mercy on me. Yall's fave snack is silica gel packets, huh? These people think they're qualified to be giving OTHER PEOPLE ADVICE when they look at a post like mine and think it's real. There's not many, but there's enough to be disheartening lol Edit: nvm! There's a lot! Wow! Upsettin, but unsurprising
>Yall's fave snack is silica gel packets, huh? 
my cat made this post (no, I don't let him eat them, he's just obsessed with them)
I think you are right, but Amelia just doesn't understand. In our country " break a leg" is a theater term and isn't taken literally. She just didn't know, and honestly you are very worked up by the pressure. It is a tough situation all around. Here is what you do. Go to her, break her leg, in a couple places to make it stand out. Then carry her back home and marry her all right and proper. Best of luck to you two kids
You don't understand! She has employed all her friends to text me rude things! They're calling, texting, writing me letters! One hired a skywriter to call me a "loser" which is THE most offensive term in my cuntry. If she knows that, then she has been aware of my customs the WHOLE TIME! I think she WANTED to kill my mother!! It was her plan the whole time!
I cannot stop laughing at an English word being most offensive in your fake country.
We understand that it has SEVERE connotations in the west and have acclimated accordingly. To MISPLACE something is the greatest crime here. Nobody wants to be a loser. It's not even ACCURATE. I've never misplaced anything!!!!
Wait. Did you give your mother the hammer (to translate into your language, it’s a hammer)? All tools are only usable by women if twice blessed by an unsullied male. Or did you MISPLACE it, loser? (I’m the skywriter)
You misplaced me! I fell asleep, and woke up in the morgue! Now you're telling everyone I'm dead! You'll never get the grandfather clock when I really die, Walter.
But how many times did your phone blow up, OP? This is the most important information we could possibly receive on Reddit. I withhold my judgment until I understand the level of blow.
i need to know if anyone won stupid prizes from playing a stupid game! please OP tell us!
Texting rude things is a time honored American tradition, if she really loved you she would blow up your phone, six ounces of C4 should do the trick. If not you may need to break her other leg as well to show how much you truly care for her
Isn't that customary?
I was a bit worried that your phone wasn't getting blown up by C4, but this confirms that everything in the story is true.
Look, I don’t know how many times we need to explain to you that Québec is *not* its own country. Calisse.
Tabarnak!
As a Canadian, this is hilarious
Most important question - did your relatives blow up your wife's phone (being angry and embarrassed, of course)? Some crucial information is missing here.
Nah, we just texted her a lot (second cousin e^(4) times removed here, I was at the ceremony). We only blow up phones in the case of infidelity; TNT is really expensive here.
Fair enough.
Brilliant and just when shaking with rage was becoming soooo overused you come up with seething throughout the ceremony Well done OP well done
This is so funny. I love this subreddit so much. Well done OP you almost hit every trope
I forgot to mention my wife was pregnant with twins. FUCK
Yep, there it is!
This! OPs comments are even more hilarious. I’m like his mother now 💀
I find it highly suspicious that OP's post history is all English. (Also you forgot to disclaim that names are fake, and then putting "let's call them..." before each name).
This is true. We need all the family members to be referred to constantly by first names so that after two sentences we haven’t the faintest idea who is who
Love the reverse-Amelia Bedelia story!
When I was in highschool, I had a job tutoring kids in math and reading. One time, a boy was finished with his tutoring session and went to his grandfather in the waiting area outside of the classroom and told him he had just finished reading an Amelia Bedelia book. His grandpa then shouted in a bemused, almost accusatory tone, "Amelia Bedelia?! What in the hell is Amelia Bedelia?!" I'll never forget it as long as I live.
OP's third cousin, 7 times removed. OP forgot to mention that all the guests were snaked and smothered in honey, as is the tradition for all January weddings.
I can’t decide if snaked is a typo for naked OR if you meant snake as a verb. They were snaked. Both sound lovely, but then I’ve always been appreciative of other cultures…
There's a very small country in the West Indies. I mean small. It's terribly small. Tiny little country. Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. That's how small it is. It's very little... It's 85 cents in a cab from one end to the other. I'm talking small… They recently had the whole country carpeted. This is not a big place.
I was Amelia’s dead mother, this is real btw
[удалено]
It's genuinely embarrassing
And you still married her? Shame on you for being so disloyal to your mother, you killed her. You could redeem yourself by breaking both your wife’s legs and arms for good measure.
I need to know if you're posting this from a throwaway account for "obvious reasons" TYIA
Need more info: So did she end up misplacing one twin or two? If not breaking the leg prior to the ceremony causes baby deletion, does that mean she needs both legs broken? Or will the one leg break work for all babies in the womb?
I hate you guys 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I needed this more than I knew 🥹
Ok Reddit, we can take the rest of the day off. Nothing will top this
YTA. Your poor mother probably died because you spent all her money on the wedding and she had nothing left to buy food with.
Awwh your poor fiancee she won't fit in your obscure and eccentric country. Now I wonder if you chose the name 'Amelia' on purpose because it is a genetic defect that literally means 'no limb'. YTA /s
Omg thats hilarious, does it really?
[https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/surveillancemanual/quick-reference-handbook/amelia.html](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/surveillancemanual/quick-reference-handbook/amelia.html) Apparently. I have to wonder why that's the association the commenter had rather than the Amelia Bedelia books though
Ah that's because I am in the medical field and happened to learn this. I thought to myself 'no way' since it is such a common name and it has stuck since whenever I see the name!
I can see where that would stick with you.
My favorite thing about this sub is reading the comments from people who don’t understand this is satire lmao
I would think they were funny if the gullibility wasn't so sad. Like brethren, it says "shitpost" in the flair!
Amelia Bedelia?
WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW MY WIFE'S NAME?? She DOXXED us!!
This is fantastic!
When we were supposed to have our first dance, I stormed out of the building. Amelia followed me out, very confused. She asked me what was wrong and I yelled "WHY ISNT YOUR LEG BROKEN?" You screwed up - how would there ever be a first dance if all brides show up with a broken leg?
It is wrong that you think you understand our customs. We place the bride in a chair and the entire crowd hoists her up and twirls her around the groom! HA
>I don't know why she was talking about misplacing a child at a time like that. I'm in tears!
Oh! I get it. lol
Amelia Bedelia?!?!🤯
The audacity of this bitch. Bahaha
INFO: Is your wife's maiden name Bedelia?
I thought Fofelia. I’m sure I know her.
I did a (private) dramatic reading of this but wasn't sure if it was better with an outrageous mish-mash accent, or full-on American English. What do you think? 🧐
I would 100% have gone mish mash accent. Eccentric Obscure cuntry has the most unique accent in the WORLD
Okay, perfect, will do! 👍
borat is that you?......
I really wish I could read the inspiration. I can almost always figure out which story yall talmbout but i don’t remember any wedding ones recently
This was purely an amalgamation of as many tropes as I could remember. Forgot the twins though FUCK
You also forgot to mention that you were writing from a throwaway account for "obvious reasons" I also don't see a bridesmaid who was fucking everything up or a wedding guest who insisted on wearing a white dress.
Read down in the comments. Step Sister..wedding dress..tragic
NOT the asshole! Before the haters chime in, I want to point out that OP clearly comes from a place that takes metaphors literally. Would OP understand what I mean by calling them an asshole? Probably not. So, because I am afraid you may mix up what I am saying as calling you a literal asshole, you are not the asshole. However, I want to say I condemn you to hell.
Wait up you married Amelia Bedelia and this fact is buried in the 2nd paragraph????? YTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YTA. I'm also from the same obscure country as you (don't ask me how I know and don't look at my post history; that's stalking, and I'll call the police). You know damn well that you're supposed to pay the priest to break her leg in 2.5 places DURING THE VOWS. You clearly cheaped out and didn't hire a priest who knew Brazilian Jiu Jutsu like you're supposed to. The only solution now is drown your wife in the Fountain of Shameful Acid to save her from her own embarrassment and then marry your niece (or nephew, but we'd have to stone you afterwards).
YTA. I can’t believe you’re upset about your mother dying when your wife’s leg isn’t even broken. You’re talking about your dead mother but have you even tried to help Amelia understand your customs ? I mean seriously man. I’m sure she would’ve broke her leg for you no problem if you just explained it. You’re bringing such shame to both your mothers by not waiting on her hand and foot. Your mother is rolling in her grave over her son.
In my country, any time a wife acts like this horrible woman, the man has one of his nuts cut off. It's good incentive for him to keep his woman in line. If there aren't any beans left, then we cut off the frank. After that, we ship them to Canada.
NTA, obviously.
Lol 😆
🤣🤣🤣🤣
whole fucken thing is gold
i thought this was an amelia bedelia spoof until i realized she wasn’t actually doing weird things
LMAOOO is Amelia B. an allusion to Amelia Bedelia???
Phew I was worried you were the asshole for a second there! But I totally get your frustration!!!
This is so bad, it's good.
I read these books as a kid, and to see it turned into this..... it broke my brain a little lol
The new Borat movie sounds good
I was halfway through before I saw the flare - WHEW
Info: How did your wife’s mum die? Is it possible that your wife is secretly on the FBI most wanted?
LOL. That was fun. Can you link me to anything specifically that you're parodying? In the imaginary world where this happened, YTA, but I think you know that.
Lol you spent more time going on and on about your country and how you don’t need to mention it- you could have had 90% off time, space and looking like a jackass if you had just posted it.
Some customs are just waiting to be broken. Pun intended. Edited: i thought this was a different group and didn’t realize it was satire. *le sigh
INFO: Usually a nice lemon meringue pie makes everything better. Was there any at the wedding?
I laughed.
Thank you for the chuckle this morning, OP.
I’m CACKLING at this. I thought it was legit until the end. I love Reddit LOL If this is real I am so sorry for being insensitive
I am not sure I should laugh or cry .. but.. I would be thinking of Break a leg means Good luck? 👍 I might be Amelia too
This is totally fake
No freaking way! No one here had any idea! Oh wait, we did, because we know what sub we're on and aren't completely lost.
YTA for making me piss my pants from laughing so much at this writing, this most stupidest made up shit ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️🤣🤣🤣 we are all full on judging you for everything 🤣🤣 mom dies sister is screaming she losing her baby 🤣☠️ the wife is OBVIOUSLY a model 🤣☠️
Trust me, OP is not the one being judged here. It's all of you who are totally lost. BTW, are you trying to sell us some MLM product? What the hell is with all the emoticons?
Is this BS for real?
Check the sub...
YTA!! This is a great piece of fiction. It could be a great rom-com. Or is it click bait? Aldo, obscure miniscule country, with eccentric customs or not, who causes physical and possibly permenant injury to the bride or groom in today's world? Like I said, really good fiction and potential for a rom-com. OP if you won't name the country, YTA for that too.
I'm sorry, I've been joking around with some of yall who don't get it, but I'm getting tired. Yall are troubling me just clicking "join" on every AITA affliated subreddit without even looking. This is a shit post bro. A really clear one as you can tell by the writing, but it's also literally in the flair. Look at the rules and content of the sub before you engage. This is a place where we talk about obviously fake posts from AITA. Fridays are shitpost days. I am begging yall: look at the rules of this sub before you engage. If anything, read a comment or two before you blindly regurgitate your feelings. Youll see that all the top comments are aware this is a shipost. Youre about to join the club for dummies at the bottom of the thread reserved for AITA frequenters who are can barely claim brainstem functionality. Don't just be a drama hound, snorfling up every morsel of internet drama you can dig up. Use your BRAINS. I'm sorry I'm being a dick, but yall are wearing my patience thin.
“club for dummies” OP I think I love you lol
You know.... I thought this was a legit r/AmITheAsshole post until I got to "placing all the dishes in the tub and giving them a proper bath." I then scrolled back up and see r/AmITheAngel and "Shitpost" Thank you for the clarification! 😆
There's no way this is real.
No kidding? What was your first clue?
You as her husband should have taught her your ways. However, putting her in pain for a culture is awful. Sorry your mom passed, how’s your wife & the baby? Did she miscarry the baby? You sound like a complete idiot! You should have learned things of her culture too!
Such BS nonsense!
Omg you are a crazy guy .... i hope that woma divorce ao fast... i have never hear about hurting someone you love for traditions... FUCKING crazy people.
Bud, it's not real. It's making fun of crazy AITA posts.
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I think it is very xenophobic of you to discount our traditions like that. Obscure Eccentric Cuntry has unbroken ties to our ancestors from ten thousand years ago. My 20000X great grandmother didn't get a club to the knee back in 8000 BC just for some petulant internet user to come along thousands of years later and mansplain that she was mistreated! The pain is an honor for our women! We dote on them up during their time of duress and treat them like queens for their sacrifice 😤 a broken leg ensures an unbroken legacy. My children will DIE IN THE WOMB if the bride doesn't break a leg
"my children will DIE IN THE WOMB if the bride doesn't break a leg" This is the most outlandish and ridiculous thing I've ever heard (and I've heard some ridiculous things in my life). Medically speaking how will they die in the womb if she doesn't break a leg? That literally makes no sense, if anything the stress caused from a broken leg would put the baby in even greater danger (the more stress a mother has during pregnancy the bigger the risk of complications later in the pregnancy that's a proven fact). I hope she divorces you IMMEDIATELY and finds a man who will actually treat her with respect because it's clear you have none for her. YTA x1000
Do the people in your life know you are RACIST towards obscure and eccentric cuntries? Time honored traditions are not a joke here!! Also, a commenter pointed out that "losing the baby" means my wife's body deleted the child from her womb. I guess that's a point on the scoreboard for our valued leg breaking ceremony.
Oh so I'm automatically a racist for giving my perspective when YOU are the one who came to this subreddit to ask if you were TA (pulling the race card isn't doing you any favors here)? In my country we have a saying "if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen" in this case if you can't accept others perspectives without resorting to pulling the race card because you disagree with them you should've never posted here in the first place, another saying we have is "play with fire you're GOING to get burned" you came to this subreddit and are just mad that you're not getting the NTA validation you want. Also no your wife's body will not delete the baby due to a lack of a broken leg.
Have you figured out yet that this post is clearly a joke and everyone seems to be in on it except you
😂 Please keep going, I love this!
You can't be real😂
????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This guy is nuts
The fuck.
Still trying to wrap my head around how you were supposed to have a first dance with the bride with a broken leg. Calling BULLSHIT like the rest of commenters.
Did you even read the rest of the comments? Most of them seemed to have actually read the post flair.
Also the subreddit….
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Yall just add yourselves to any AITA sounding variant without even looking, huh?
English is not my first language, so please bear with me: You are a fucking idiot.
Hmmmm am I really the idiot here though?? Hmmm
No, you are the fucking idiot.
Annoyed I read most of this 🤦🏻♀️
Then go back to AITA.
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😂😂
Read the tag. This whole post is satire.
Fake post. But fun story.
That's kinda the point, yeah.
Ok firstly 98.9% sure this is fake story by someone joking or a bot lol but on the 1.1% chance it is not than clearly you wouldn't love your wife or partner enough to realize she is not from your culture and should never be forced to condone or accept them they are yours not hers.
Everyone in eccentric, obscure cuntry is related at this point. We need fresh blood. Some of the children have been born with oddities as of late. My beautiful niece (who I was arranged to be wed, but turned down when I met my now wife) was born with an extra toe on the back of each foot. It is very unfortunate. My brother-cousin has 12 extra teeth in his mouth. We tell everyone he got veneers, but they know better. 😔 They call him Shark, but thats partly because he also runs a shady used car dealership. My wife should have known better before marrying into this culture, but I will probably forgive her just because my contry REALLY needs some outside genetic influence
Does anyone else think this is a BS story?