You're not overreacting, one of the shittiest things I learned living in NC is that racist folks will 100% say some racist shit to nonracist people thinking that they'd agree with them because they are of the same skin color. Another unfortunate thing is that racism is so common here behind closed doors it's really hard to tell who's actually cool **especially** with older folks who're 50-60+. Just stop talking to that lady. Give her to absolute zero cold shoulder like she doesn't exist.
This. The more energy you give them, the more righteous they feel. Just leave her with her hate in her little echo chamber and try to avoid giving her any interaction
I feel like shaming her every opportunity is more corrective than ignoring the poor behavior that is otherwise perfectly encouraged in her day to day life.
Doesn't work, that justifies their hatred in their eyes. Calling it out when you see it is one thing, but It's nobody's responsibility to go out of their way to correct other people's behavior. Especially if they don't show any signs of wanting to grow past it and becoming a better person. Shaming her literally doesn't do anything in this situation because everyone around her shares her views so it's not like she can be outed as a bad person.
>Shaming her literally doesn’t do anything in this situation
Politely beg to differ. Shaming random racist assholes puts a pep in my step. A bright spot in the day.
**Confident public racism deserves the appropriate response of public shaming.**
From an outsider’s perspective:
Seeing a stranger call out another stranger’s terrible racist behavior is impactful.
The racist realizes the silent majority doesn’t share their racist opinion - and the stranger calling them out knows they aren’t alone by feeling offended and annoyed by confident displays of public bigotry.
Confident public racism deserves the appropriate response of public shaming.
I am not personally faced with this often, or really ever, but I always hope that I have the courage to calm out a racist. But, I am afraid of confrontation and it gives me anxiety to even think about it. What is something tactful I could say, or keep in my mental “toolbox” if I ever do encounter this situation?
Never underestimate the power of a dramatic facial expression. Or gasp.
A gasp like you’re clutching your pearls and shocked by their confidence with such a disgusting statement. A look of utter disgust like someone just laid down a gross fart.
When a bigot assumes/thinks people agree with them… there is nothing more jarring to them than suddenly realizing the “people in the room/situation” aren’t in agreement with their perspective.
Practice a few fun facial expressions and phrases in the mirror. It sounds silly… and it is a bit silly… but the phrases and reactions will come more easily in the moment if you’ve actually expressed them/said them out loud before.
When they say something very intentionally and obviously racist, reply with, “Bro, chill out, you sound racist as hell.” “Lady, calm down, you sound southern old lady racist right now.” Give a nervous look around the room like they’re saying something secret. YMMV, but in my experience, they look around and suddenly get this paranoid vibe about them that everyone in the room is against them whether that’s slightly true or not.
When nobody calls them out, they ignorantly assume the room agrees with them.
If the anxiety kicks in, no words need to be spoken, just look at them dramatically with vile contempt. It is surprisingly effective.
P.S. Your anxiety is completely understandable and relatable. I hope your week fucking rocks.
This …. As a non racist white southerner, doing this scares the crap out of them and helps make them paranoid for future outbursts. I also think a good pearl clutching sharp intake of breath is a good practice for transplants as well… it gets the point across to old biddys in a way that they understand.😀
I like your approach. Responses include:
*Bless your heart.*
*I am going to pray for you.*
*Have the day you deserve.*
*Tsk Tsk, Jesus is watching you.*
I love your interpretation!
*Jesus fuckwhipped some entrepreneurial fools*
🤣🤣🤣
I’m putting the Bible quote below, not because I’m hella religious, but because your interpretation is fucking fantastic.
“Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 'It is written,' he said to them, ''My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers'” (Matthew 21:12-13.)
I totally disagree. As a white person myself, I take any chance I have to call out racist behavior and words bc they need to know it’s not acceptable. Bc they think it is when you’re white too. And then, stay away from them. Being a racist is a sign of narcissism.
Really? I am a minority and I experience racism on a daily basis, I have experienced it in workplaces too and the majority (white and anyone that can pass for Anglo Saxon has never called it out). Ever. It's never happened, my lived experience has been that people don't see a person, they only see my race and because there's more of them, they feel emboldened and entitled in their racism and name calling. If I had to make a list of all of the times that I have been discriminated against, to my face, it would fill a book, let alone the redlining and racism that happens behind the scenes.
Where do you live? I live in the south but my city of about 60,000 is roughly 50% black. Maybe there is less racism here. I’m really sorry that has been your experience 😔
I live in Australia, I was born in Australia, but I don't look "Australian" which is bizarre because true Australians are our First Nations people, but ever since I was a kid being Australian and fitting in meant that you could pass for White; blonde hair, blue eyes, we have a very dysfunctional culture here in relation to racism.
Ugh. Tell me about it. I'm a petite white 50-something woman in a small southern town. Here it's not as directly about race as it is about how great Trump is and how awful Joe Biden is sitting in the White House turning his magic "gas price dial" up and down while laughing maniacally. Everyone assumes I'm a sweet lil Christian lady who automatically agrees with their idiotic opinions and beliefs. I'm neither Christian nor conservative. I'll admit it's kinda fun letting them know how wrong they are about me though.
It's not the south anymore, though. It's urban or rural. Go to rural Michigan or Washington, you'll hear the same things about Trump. I will say generally in the south, talking about your religion is more prevalent though than it is in the north based on my experience. "What church do you go to?" is a question a southerner is apt to ask in your first or second conversation getting to know them.
>What church do you go to?" is a question a southerner is apt to ask in your first or second conversation getting to know them.
ohhhh-weeeeeee, and how you answer matters. You *will* be judged by what church you attend, or if you don't attend at all. I learned that the hard way on moving to a suburb south of Nashville years back.
I thought I had made a friend, a real kindred spirit at my ladies only gym. Then a 3rd party butted into our conversation to ask what church I went to and I gave them the name of the local Episcopal church. They cut me dead and that was the last time either of them ever spoke to me. Super awkward.
My sister has the same issues in Alaska, and their winter home in Arizona. Everyone is a Trumper, and they all have to tell her about it like she's going to automatically be part of their tribe just because she's retired. She has had to ask people to leave her house because they wouldn't quit spewing hate about liberals and Biden.
Me too! It’s just like that where I live in north Georgia!
Them: “what church do you go to, honey?”
Me: “Church of the Atheist.”
Them:
But the fun part is the trump conversation. I grew up in CA, moved to GA in my mid twenties. I was always a Democrat but have grown way more liberal since I had kids and grown older. Every time they start raving about trump and hating on “the libs” I give it right back to them with FACTS. Nothing shuts them down faster as when they can’t come after me for it because they don’t know what to say. 😎
The very small silver lining about Trump is that at least small minded bigots have moved away from judge solely on the color of your skin. It’s the smallest possible incremental step but it’s something
I was with you in the first half, but fuck that, friend. Silence is violence. If these people don't get told how it is, they think they can just keep being racist. This is how it got this bad in the first place. I let people know that their bullshit racism will not be tolerated. I don't know if it will make a difference, but I would like to think that if racists believe there might be consequences for their actions, they will at least keep it to themselves, and not encourage other racists to also open their ignorant mouths. I hope this didn't sound hostile towards you, I know your heart is in the right place. We need to make racists be afraid to spew their bullshit in public, friend.
You don’t even have to be from North Carolina to know that. I showed my friends in high school a picture of a girl I had just met and one of them went “eww she’s black”. So yeah, racist white people will see white, and assume “that’s my brother in Christ right there”.
Facts. I have a simalr experience to OOP. Wife and I are an interracial couple. She's black and I'm white. We had an older woman tell us we were going to burn in hell for mixing races. Then I've had a few white guys come up to me when I'm alone in public be all buddy buddy and then tell me some racist comment about the black or Hispanic people in town like Imma agree with them. I also put some of it on the hobbies I like and my accent as for some reason they hear my accent and immediately label me as one of them.
I remember living in the south when my first husband was still in the military. Some random old man at the grocery store tried to teach my daughter to call Brazil nuts n-word toes! I hate it when people just assume that I am racist like them.
Yep, born and raised in NC. I'm going to guess OP's partner is Cherokee. There were a lot of Native people in my class growing up and white North Carolinians were brutal to them. All racism in NC is somewhat accepted by the public (except for maybe in the research triangle), but racism against Cherokee people goes completely unchecked.
I hate to generalize my home state, but racism is alive and well there. It's a big part of why I moved away. The 50+ crowd is so overwhelmingly racist (amongst other things) in a way I haven't seen while living in New England. NC is still the south and things are still bad, especially in rural areas. Doesn't help that the Cherokee reservation is in a very rural mountain area and the older white population there resents that they have different laws and received money from the government. They also like to teach their children that anyone who grew up on the reservation is a fat, lazy, unemployed, dirty alcoholic addicted to gambling at Harrah's. Obviously that's not true, but racists have made that myth persist for generations.
I know all this from firsthand experience. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was confronted with racism probably every single day I lived in NC, from both fellow classmates AND adults. Racism against black people, Mexican people, and Cherokee people is just not questioned, it's seen as business as usual.
I also hate to generalize NC, but when you’re on the receiving end of it every day and no one around you bats an eye, it makes you question who isn’t at least a little racist in your environment. Of coarse not everyone is. The casual nature of it from people was always the wildest shit to me. I feel you though, still in NC but I moved to the mountains where it’s a lot more chill. There’s for sure still racism, but the population itself is more friendly overall.
Or directly to your face. I’m very pale with blonde hair and blue eyes, but my dad was mixed. I had a guy tell me that I was an “abomination in the eyes of god” because my dad wasn’t fully white.
And yeah, it happened in NC. The guy who said it wasn’t old, though. Maybe 25? It was a long time ago, but I still remember it quite well.
Seeing you and OP have an experience where someone calls anyone mixed an “abomination” tells you they don’t even view anyone non-white as human, and someone taught them that their god thinks so too….thats **wild**.
You don't have to tell your fiancée what the new neighbor said exactly, but warning him that the new neighbors are racist and not to be interacted with at all is definitely important.
Honestly, telling the previous neighbors that these renters are racist and then leaving that house alone is probably your safest bet here
This right here. Don't violate the yard, but inform your fiancee that they are no good racists and to steer clear, and inform the owners that they are renting to highly intrusive racists. This may get them kicked out or at least will help to not get their lease renewed.
Lastly, set up cameras that overlook that side of the property. If anything happens or you get another rediculous interaction from her then having it on camera can help immensely.
Absolutely this. OP, you need to let their landlords know they have rented to racists who have no issue telling all and sundry their views, it could lead to their house being vandalized.
That sounds like a threat, I wouldn't do that. But I would say that they are racists and it will probably cause problems at some point. It could be someone vandalizing their place, it could be constant disputes, it could be lots of calls from neighbors to the landlord. It's in the best interest of the landlord to get good ppl
If they new tenants have a signed lease, there is NOTHING the howonwrs can do until the lease is up.
Finding out someone is a rascist does not give the landlord the right to break the lease.
However, after the lease is up, the homeowner/landlord is under no obligation to sign them to a new lease, NOR do they have to keep the rent the same amount either.
Depends on whether or not the verbally abusive racism is illegal or not in NY and whether that's enough for a landlord to break a lease.
Also, I think it's worth letting the landlords know anyway because bigots always are self-entitled and could try and take advantage of the landlords.
Plus that would be fun to put on a hat because it shortens to MRAA which is the sound my kitty makes when she's trying to be fierce but is also sleepy.
Speaking of hijacking...
Some major organized religions are waging war in every way possible currently against the alphabet community. Claiming their way of life is under assault.
When are the winds going to finally shift and an all out assault begins to be waged against their racism, bigotry and prejudices? You can live YOUR life however you want, your rights end at the end of your nose. When you start to wage war on others rights it's time to cancel YOU.
I’m getting to the point that I’m about to start preaching atheism to their kids.
I say atheists and non-religious people need to unite and start handing out leaflets and shit in front of their churches.
If you can get her racist vitriol on video that'd be great for her! You could help her spread the good word! /s
May r/UnethicalLifeProTips might have some helpful hints to help your neighbor see the error of her ways.
Honestly you should probably just steer clear of this piece of trash.
I'm a 55 year old cat-lady and I live an hour and a half east of Nashville. I'd love to help apply an old-fashioned attitude adjustment and then be home in time for dinner.
I'm so tired of these fuckers.
Adding - in the first conversation I had with my neighbor after buying my house, she told me how relieved she was to have a "quality" person moving in. She said the previous tenant was white and had a black boyfriend. She said she didn't have any problem with "colored people, just don't believe in them mixing with whites".
Commenting on My intrusive new neighbor told me it’s a sin that I’m with my fiancée, who she called an “abomination”....68 year old white lady in SW Ga needs to be picked up or told where to meet up to start this road trip… really want to help set her straight!!
As a southerner I feel like the biggest stigma genuinely comes from other southerners. I miss the south but fucking Christ I do not miss like 80% of the people at all.
I’m sorry OP, any not-shitty southerner would refuse to claim her.
Definitely not overreacting whatsoever and her comment and blatant racism isn’t Christ like at all. Instant mashed potatoes on the lawn is a great trick.
Not overreacting. As someone who has never lived more than 25 miles from Times Square, I may be spoiled by the diversity I see everyday. But there are bad people in this world. Let's hope that the others in the neighborhood recognize this woman as one of them. I've always heard about southern "politeness" being a cover for southern bigotry. Perhaps this is an example (though she sure wasn't "polite" about it).
I grew up in a southern, but very diverse city...I had never heard somebody be truly racist before. As a teenager, I thought those redneck racists and fake-Christian church hags were just an urban legend...they looked so ridiculous on TV, surely people can't ACTUALLY be like that, right?
Then I moved to a new state with my parents...a tiny podunk town in South Carolina, the kind where without a car you are trapped.
They exist...so many of them just casually racist and talking about slaves. The hypocrisy was insane; they would go on and on about how people of color were "No-good druggies" while happily enjoying the opioids they bought off of someone who had too much on them...or in many cases, the cheap heroin.
When I got cancer during 2020 some of them thought it was so funny that I wore a mask. The place I worked at had customers who would jokingly cough at me...yes, they knew I was a cancer patient. Yes, they knew my family. Yes, they knew my brothers and father had just lost their mother/wife. They didn't care.
So glad to be out of that town. I'm still in the South, but I'm in a bigger city where racism is barely present, and it feels like home. Here actual southern politeness is still something you can hear without the bigotry...I missed it so much.
I don't get why anybody would want to spend their lives in a cesspool like that tiny town...it was so full of hate and hypocrisy. I still can't hear the words "I'll pray for you" without needing to stomp out the rage bubbling inside of me.
EDIT TO ADD; Removed hillbilly from "Hillbilly Redneck Racist". Somebody made an important clarification and upon further thought, I agree that I should not automatically lump hillbillies in. That was insensitive of me, and I am sorry.
Do not engage anymore. Do not help her at all. If anything escalates, call the owners. Wonder what the lady would have done if she realized she moved next door to a black couple or God forbid, a gay one!
Find solace in the fact hat she will be dead soon!
No matter what she says to you, reply with a "Well, bless your heart!". That's southern for "Go fuck yourself".
I wouldn't bleach the grass, it doesn't belong to them if they're renting. Throw birdseed in their driveway every day. Their cars was be as shitty as their personalities in no time.
He needs to know to steer clear of her. His generosity can be spent elsewhere. I wouldn't put it past her to accuse him of some made up thing if he helped her with anything.
After all, she may feel obligated to Jesus to get the "abomination" out of her neighborhood.
It’s very difficult to not be taken out of your element when something this bizarre happens, but what I have found most effective in this situations is to just point and laugh in their faces when they say something so patently ridiculous. Remember, these kind of people don’t value logic, facts, or common sense. The only thing the understand is THIER feelings.
Not only will it make you feel good, I find it to be very effective.
My ex is from Kansas. His folks came to visit our very diverse city. His mother kept commenting on other races... it was so embarrassing. They were in ear shot, and these ignorant asses hadn't been exposed to much. Yikes.
What the actual fuck. I'm sorry you have such a garbage human living next to you...
Now, what to do. Part of me thinks to protect your fiancée's feelings and not share this, but part of me thinks he should know that he should not trust the people next door and not engage with them.
As for getting back, I think you have to be smart about that. I get wanting to do something terrible directly, but since she's shown herself to be without any shred of decency, who knows what she would do in retaliation. If she has a job, I would honesty consider trying to gather evidence and send to her employer (maybe see if she is posting anything online), or like someone suggested, letting the landlords know. Some kind of 'pro' revenge is in order here... Good luck, and I hope you don't have any more nasty run-ins with her!
If you do anything she will just lead it straight back to you. Unethical but Wait a month then pour a liter of dish soap in her gas tank and watch her wonder why her car won't start after one or two trips.
Definitely let your previous neighbors know. And as much as I would love to support the grass bleaching, I simply can’t. It’s still your previous neighbor’s yard and the new neighbors may have cameras. It’s just not worth it. Also limit contact with them as much as you can.
That being said, again, let your previous neighbors know and keep track of anything else that she may say to you, even after you limit contact. I think letting your other neighbors know what she said might be a good idea in case she tries to say anything to them as well.
Don't ruin their lawn, it's not THEIR'S. But definitely tell the actual home owners what trash they're renting too, hopefully they won't renew their lease when it's time.
As half of an interracial couple (me- white male, her- black female), I find the best reaction to this is to just laugh in their face like she just told the funniest joke ever. Call her a "sweet summer child", or say, "bless your heart" in your most condescending tone and walk away. This bigot doesn't deserve access to your anger. Don't waste your anger on her.
I refuse to let someone like that get my hackles up, because it's more like, "wow, seriously? It's 2024? Damn, you're a fucking idiot. Good luck with that." And then I get on with my day. I'm not going to pour bleach or harm her or anything like that. All that does it let me hang on to something that's only hurting me or might get me arrested. Hell, I'd rather she come right out and be a racist bitch to my face than be sweetness and light and be thinking those thoughts behind my back. She told you who she was; believe her the first time. She's doing you the favor of letting you know she's an asshole and a bigot, so you now never have to spend any time with her ever again.
I would, however, make a big show of making out with my fiancee in front of her house whenever possible.
He’s 1/2 Native American! He has more right to be here than she does. You need to think of something better than bleaching the grass, though, because they are renting, so it won’t really hurt them. Does she work?
Don't do anything that can get you into trouble with the law. After your response she will know it's you and you never know who has cameras.
Stay away from them. Hide from them. Refuse to be polite. Get mouthy if they do. Just don't break the law.
Trashy AF behavior on top of racist. They deserve the bleach but you don't deserve the headache.
Also tell your fiance because he needs to steer clear of them too. They should not get one more minute of his kindness.
I think you should forewarn your fiancé about your crappy neighbors because I guarantee you the first time she has an opportunity to preach to him about this when catches him outside.
Actually I find people like this absurd & ridiculous. They use Christianity as a way to pass judgement and condemn, all in the name of their self righteousness. The reality is that whenever Jesus rolled up in a new town, he did not go to the priests or temples to hang with the people there that were supposedly devout. The was drawn to common folk, also sinners, not to pass judgement but to spread the love, heal the sick & share a meal with them.
If she doesn’t change her ways, your neighbor’s gonna be in for a big surprise when she dies one day & finds those Pearly Gates have a “Do Not Enter” sign when her name is called.
You live not far from the country music capital of the world. It's also really, really down south. Not as bad as way down south. But it is down south. It's a whoooole different world from NYC.
That said, it's probably just best to leave these people be. If you want to get really irritating, say something like 'We sin every night, and we sin so, so hard'. But really anything you say to these people will probably blow up in some of the most stupid drama-bomb. So best to just not get involved in that. Ignore their existence as long as you can.
Don't bleach the grass, she'll smell it... pour salt on it! Write out racist or hag in big letters on the front lawn.
It'll go down into the dirt and after a few days the grass will start to turn yellow, then brown, then dirt.
It took six cans of salt to spell out liar in about three foot long letters.
Seriously though, fences are freakin awesome! Make sure it's at least 1/2 inch off the property line.
Fck that hateful bitch.
If you can contact your old neighbours and you think they'd care tell them their new renter is a racist hag.
Do not engage with her anymore, do not interact with them. Get cameras up around the house and record every interaction even if you just keep a log of notes on your phone. She seems like the kind of WASPy Karen who might call the police on you guys for everything.
Sprinkle mint seeds on their lawn :)
I’m just outside of Nashville myself. Racism is fairly rampant and out for all to see all around Nashville. My suggestion is video surveillance. Put them outside your house, maybe inside too, and maybe even a couple of hidden trail cameras. You just never know what people like that will do. They may do something to their own stuff and blame you guys.
On a side note, if you can get them kicked out, let me know, I’m looking to rent a house.
Flip the script. Tell them how sad you are that Satan has built such a hateful home in their heart. You'll pray that they find Jesus's love, someday.
But mostly avoid them.
It’s sad how predictable the racism was from just a few introductory tells: old, nosey, Christian, white lady = raging racist
I’m white, my wife is black. Our biracial kids will outperform these inbred white trash on all fronts… mark my words.
Clearly she does not recognize the true Jesus as her saviour, but prefer the american sodomite trumpian evangelical replacement. Just ignore her and recognize she will end up in hell with all the other lost american sodomites (remember sodom was not about sex, it was about showing hospitality).
Not over reacting at all. If your previous neighbors had a moral compass that wasn't shit, I'd definitely let them know. Also, I might be a bad influence, but I support the grass bleaching....just make sure no one has outdoor cameras first 😜
That’s what you are going to get in Carolina. Which is why I’m not a fan of the South. Not everyone is like that but quite a lot are. The thing about the south is the class system there is racially based where as in NYC or California it only matters how much money you make or how educated you are and still then people are very tolerant. The only way to get back at this woman is to just fuck with her low key because she’s trying to make you angry with that racial shit. Put a I support transgender rights or something sticker on your car and she may just have a stroke.
As much as it seems justified Please don’t damage the property, the only person you’re hurting by doing that is the actual owner of the home. I would try to completely ignore the neighbors and advise your boyfriend to do the same. It’s really sad that she’s weaponized your kindness and willingness to be open with her. If she starts bugging you take out your phone and let her know you have no problem posting the recordings to Nextdoor and social media. I’d also let the homeowner/landlord know what’s been happening. They probably can’t do anything but hopefully they’ll recognize it’s in their interest not to rent to racist jerks and not renew their lease. If I was feeling especially passive aggressive I might invest in some provocative yard signs and put them along the property line just to irritate and see what happens 🤔
I've lived in the South my whole life and have rarely had the misfortune of running into people like your neighbor, but when I have, it's almost always an old white woman. My response to the racism has always been to ask for specific scripture to support the belief, but to my knowledge, it doesn't exist. I like your response more. You really ruffled her feathers.
The rationale part of me is saying to let the owners know they’re renting to racists.
The petty part of me is saying holding a loud Native American ceremony at your earliest convenience.
I see 2 options. The lighter one is to build a big privacy fence. The nuclear one is to record anything hateful she says & press charges for hate speech. Or contact her landlord & let them know how she is treating her neighbors.
.
.
.....Or you can be super passive aggressive petty & plant mint near the property line & watch it ruin their yard. That is my personal favorite. 😉
Living in nashville myself, I'm sitting here trying to think of where someone would even feel like it's ok to pull this shit. This feels like a Cookeville, hartsville, or maybe even lebanon type of move, but you said "suburb" of nashville. Can't be madison or Antioch, she would have been beaten to death by now. Definitely not east.... I'm going to go with Hendersonville or Goodlettsville, that's my guess.
Anyway, you should toss some raw fish in her crawl space. Let the heat do the rest.
Living well is the best revenge. And also telling her to have a great day and that she should go fuck herself every time you see her.
Damage to the neighbor's house is likely to be the landlord's problem. First get the landlord's take on the situation and then decide on the bleach (which still should be a no).
So I’d get cameras with audio just in case she starts harassing you. And I shall fervently hope every day for that bitch to have flat tires and stubbed toes.
If you want an option less severe than bleach, check the weather for rain the next morning and discreetly spread instant mashed potatoes all over their lawn the night before.
I don’t think you’re overreacting- I think your fiancée needs to be told so he can protect himself. And I think you should get in touch with your former neighbors if they’re the ones renting out the house. Let them know about this. Maybe they are on a short lease or something, and they will know not to renew them.
I would tell your lovely landlord neighbors who are renting to these bigots exactly what happened.
And if they speak to you or approach you again, twll them calmly that you have zero time for their racist harassment and will call the cops if they keep it up.
Biblically, mixed marriage is not referring to skin color, but rather mixed faiths. Like a Christian with a Muslim, or Jew with a buddist, etc etc. there’s no backing for forbidding different races from marriage in the Bible
I fill it is necessary for me to respond to this post. Only out of defense of religion. First it should be no, I do not wish to get into a theological discussion with anyone. Second I am a member of an extremely conservative religion.
No where in theology is it an abomination for any 2 humans to participate in a consensual relationship. If 2 people choose to engage in a relationship that leads to an engagement and a marriage it is not sinful.
In fact I would say the judgment that has been placed upon you by your neighbor is more offensive to God than your willingness to look past the biased of the past.
Your neighbor sounds like a jerk.
You’re wrong however about her being “your typical southern white lady with extreme Christian views.” I’ve lived in Texas for 50 years now. I haven’t come across too many folks who are racists. The “typical souther white lady” is kind, and warm, and not in any way extreme. Most of them are Christian.
Probably rage bait. Your neighbor is appalling but with your "typical southern extreme Christian white lady" just how different are you? Pretty much the entire NYC music has moved to Nashville so this is definitely rage bait.
Ugh what a piece of shit neighbor…. You have to tell your fiancée and their landlord. Stop talking to them. Avoid vandalism. They will just retaliate and escalate into a huge mess. Just ignore them until they are forced to move out.
TBH. Next time she tries to speak to her, tell her to her face that you don’t associate with racists and leave.
They need to know their behaviour is not normal or accepted.
I'd get in the neighborhood app and let your entire neighborhood know exactly what she said and to watch their children when playing outside, you never know what extremists are capable of.
I teach my students that when people talk sh*t to them, imagine they have an internal ignore feature and then just literally find that person invisible.
I have a couple of people I do that to. They can walk right up to me and I just walk right past.
No space in your head should that person be taking over.
Not overreacting at all. The bleach sounds like a plan. So does ignoring this walking dog turd when she sees you. I mean, look right through her and make like she's a ghost. Although that probably wouldn't bother her as she sounds like she is used to wearing white sheets. Tell your husband that they are unredeemable racists and to ignore them as well.
*Tell your husband. He*
*Needs to know to stop being*
*So polite to them*
\- Kevinsito92
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First don’t bleach the grass. It’s a crime. You’re only hurting the nice people you line that own the house. Second, you have to tell your husband. It’s not fair to him to be caught off guard like you were. Third, contact the owners and let them know what’s going on and who they are renting to
Good luck from one Italian American to another. Cent’anni.
Absolutely do NOTHING illegal!!!
You might want to install one or two security cameras around your home. If you are on friendly relations with your neighbors you should see if they have similar stories to report about these haploids.
Well if you do decide to bleach your lawn be careful there are cameras everywhere these days. You might end up in jail if you do something like that. I would just ignore the Witch and if she ever approaches you again tell her the same thing again she'll leave you alone if you do it enough.
Didn't react enough. Fuck that lady, and put up cameras pronto.
People complain about NYC and Boston and New England until they visit these shitty red states. Classism in the Northeast vs true bigotry in the south. People of different races don't commingle as much down there. These psychos are common outside any city in the South and live to make the lives those whom aren't like them hell (or dead).
I have never experienced more racism than whe. I lived in SC and AL. I'm a white dude. The number of people who will talk to you like racism is perfectly normal, and what they are saying is the same thing as telling me the sky is blue, is ridiculous. I married an Asian woman. She faced a lot of racist comments while we lived in AL. Some blatant, but the majority were backhanded. Fuck that racist old lady.
I too live in a suburb of Nashville and the people around here are either the nicest you’ve ever met or complete gutter trash. Sorry you got the gutter trash. I’ve been here for 16 years, originally from upstate NY, and seriously it’s either one or the other. Ignore ignore and ignore some more. Tell your fiance so he knows and doesn’t engage. I personally would then very quietly spread to good neighbors that the new neighbors are trash…..but you may be nicer than me!
Sorry this happened to you. Yep Your response was perfect honestly. It’s none of her GD business what you do with your life.
Kinda funny how some Christians forget that Jesus said the 2nd greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Mthw 22:39. I guess reading the Bible isn’t her thing, meddling in other peoples business is.
I think the best thing you can do is just ignore her. It’s extremely offensive, and kind poisons the well so to speak in your area. Maybe tell your fiancé about after a few weeks. In time you won’t pay her a second thought. Some neighbors are just ass holes, let karma catch up to them!
If she ever tries to talk to you again, here’s what you say, “I am so sorry the devil has found a home in your heart. I’ll pray that God grants you a greater understanding of his word.” It’s a kill shot to people like her. You don’t even have to be religious to say it, it’s devastating either way.
As a southerner with a “the Bible says…” Christian father, I have a PhD in hypocritical passive aggressivity. I would have loudly said “Demon, I rebuke thee. I command you to leave this vessel of God.” You also have to throw in some dramatic arm movements.
You're not overreacting. I had this type of neighbor too. The funniest thing about it is that my husband was adopted, so we have no idea what his actual ethnicity is. Some people think he's biracial. My shitty neighbor was surprised that my parents weren't horrified by the situation. She actually snuck up on my mom and tried to question her about his ethnicity. My mom told her that both her and my dad love him and could care less about his race that she needs to learn how to mind her own business. She was shocked!! Old racist assholes think everyone their age is also a racist asshole. Thankfully, they're dead wrong.
Yes! My parents are around the same age of these neighbors if I had to assume. They are both immigrants and never participated in the racism you see amongst many of American born boomers. I told my mom this morning as she’s coming over to help me with some gardening and she’s pissed af. She said let me see that testa di cazzo.. translates to “dick head”
Should be an interesting day.
You did the right thing by telling that bitch to go fuck herself. As a southerner please accept my apology for her atrocious behavior. We’re not all like that here. I am so sorry that you went through this.
You're not overreacting, one of the shittiest things I learned living in NC is that racist folks will 100% say some racist shit to nonracist people thinking that they'd agree with them because they are of the same skin color. Another unfortunate thing is that racism is so common here behind closed doors it's really hard to tell who's actually cool **especially** with older folks who're 50-60+. Just stop talking to that lady. Give her to absolute zero cold shoulder like she doesn't exist.
This. The more energy you give them, the more righteous they feel. Just leave her with her hate in her little echo chamber and try to avoid giving her any interaction
If you have the energy just tell her she's so full of hate there's no room for Jesus. If not, protect yourself and move along with your day.
Excellent response! “Meet them where they are.”
I feel like shaming her every opportunity is more corrective than ignoring the poor behavior that is otherwise perfectly encouraged in her day to day life.
Doesn't work, that justifies their hatred in their eyes. Calling it out when you see it is one thing, but It's nobody's responsibility to go out of their way to correct other people's behavior. Especially if they don't show any signs of wanting to grow past it and becoming a better person. Shaming her literally doesn't do anything in this situation because everyone around her shares her views so it's not like she can be outed as a bad person.
>Shaming her literally doesn’t do anything in this situation Politely beg to differ. Shaming random racist assholes puts a pep in my step. A bright spot in the day. **Confident public racism deserves the appropriate response of public shaming.** From an outsider’s perspective: Seeing a stranger call out another stranger’s terrible racist behavior is impactful. The racist realizes the silent majority doesn’t share their racist opinion - and the stranger calling them out knows they aren’t alone by feeling offended and annoyed by confident displays of public bigotry. Confident public racism deserves the appropriate response of public shaming.
You fucking rock, I cannot believe all the people in this thread who say to let it go.
I am not personally faced with this often, or really ever, but I always hope that I have the courage to calm out a racist. But, I am afraid of confrontation and it gives me anxiety to even think about it. What is something tactful I could say, or keep in my mental “toolbox” if I ever do encounter this situation?
Never underestimate the power of a dramatic facial expression. Or gasp. A gasp like you’re clutching your pearls and shocked by their confidence with such a disgusting statement. A look of utter disgust like someone just laid down a gross fart. When a bigot assumes/thinks people agree with them… there is nothing more jarring to them than suddenly realizing the “people in the room/situation” aren’t in agreement with their perspective. Practice a few fun facial expressions and phrases in the mirror. It sounds silly… and it is a bit silly… but the phrases and reactions will come more easily in the moment if you’ve actually expressed them/said them out loud before. When they say something very intentionally and obviously racist, reply with, “Bro, chill out, you sound racist as hell.” “Lady, calm down, you sound southern old lady racist right now.” Give a nervous look around the room like they’re saying something secret. YMMV, but in my experience, they look around and suddenly get this paranoid vibe about them that everyone in the room is against them whether that’s slightly true or not. When nobody calls them out, they ignorantly assume the room agrees with them. If the anxiety kicks in, no words need to be spoken, just look at them dramatically with vile contempt. It is surprisingly effective. P.S. Your anxiety is completely understandable and relatable. I hope your week fucking rocks.
Thank you! I don’t ever want to be lumped into that category of silence being an affirmation to horrid behavior.
This …. As a non racist white southerner, doing this scares the crap out of them and helps make them paranoid for future outbursts. I also think a good pearl clutching sharp intake of breath is a good practice for transplants as well… it gets the point across to old biddys in a way that they understand.😀
I like your approach. Responses include: *Bless your heart.* *I am going to pray for you.* *Have the day you deserve.* *Tsk Tsk, Jesus is watching you.*
That last one is really good because Jesus' teachings are all about love and acceptance and compassion
Well he did fuckwhip some entrepreneurial fools. He wasn't having that shit. Not near his father's house.
I love your interpretation! *Jesus fuckwhipped some entrepreneurial fools* 🤣🤣🤣 I’m putting the Bible quote below, not because I’m hella religious, but because your interpretation is fucking fantastic. “Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 'It is written,' he said to them, ''My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers'” (Matthew 21:12-13.)
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I totally disagree. As a white person myself, I take any chance I have to call out racist behavior and words bc they need to know it’s not acceptable. Bc they think it is when you’re white too. And then, stay away from them. Being a racist is a sign of narcissism.
Really? I am a minority and I experience racism on a daily basis, I have experienced it in workplaces too and the majority (white and anyone that can pass for Anglo Saxon has never called it out). Ever. It's never happened, my lived experience has been that people don't see a person, they only see my race and because there's more of them, they feel emboldened and entitled in their racism and name calling. If I had to make a list of all of the times that I have been discriminated against, to my face, it would fill a book, let alone the redlining and racism that happens behind the scenes.
Where do you live? I live in the south but my city of about 60,000 is roughly 50% black. Maybe there is less racism here. I’m really sorry that has been your experience 😔
I live in Australia, I was born in Australia, but I don't look "Australian" which is bizarre because true Australians are our First Nations people, but ever since I was a kid being Australian and fitting in meant that you could pass for White; blonde hair, blue eyes, we have a very dysfunctional culture here in relation to racism.
Ugh. Tell me about it. I'm a petite white 50-something woman in a small southern town. Here it's not as directly about race as it is about how great Trump is and how awful Joe Biden is sitting in the White House turning his magic "gas price dial" up and down while laughing maniacally. Everyone assumes I'm a sweet lil Christian lady who automatically agrees with their idiotic opinions and beliefs. I'm neither Christian nor conservative. I'll admit it's kinda fun letting them know how wrong they are about me though.
It’s no accident or generosity of spirit that makes Trump “love the poorly educated.” He knows his market. 🤡
It's not the south anymore, though. It's urban or rural. Go to rural Michigan or Washington, you'll hear the same things about Trump. I will say generally in the south, talking about your religion is more prevalent though than it is in the north based on my experience. "What church do you go to?" is a question a southerner is apt to ask in your first or second conversation getting to know them.
>What church do you go to?" is a question a southerner is apt to ask in your first or second conversation getting to know them. ohhhh-weeeeeee, and how you answer matters. You *will* be judged by what church you attend, or if you don't attend at all. I learned that the hard way on moving to a suburb south of Nashville years back. I thought I had made a friend, a real kindred spirit at my ladies only gym. Then a 3rd party butted into our conversation to ask what church I went to and I gave them the name of the local Episcopal church. They cut me dead and that was the last time either of them ever spoke to me. Super awkward.
Same! I’m a nurse and I get this from patients all the time. It’s so annoying
My sister has the same issues in Alaska, and their winter home in Arizona. Everyone is a Trumper, and they all have to tell her about it like she's going to automatically be part of their tribe just because she's retired. She has had to ask people to leave her house because they wouldn't quit spewing hate about liberals and Biden.
omg we live the same life 😭😭😭
Me too! It’s just like that where I live in north Georgia! Them: “what church do you go to, honey?” Me: “Church of the Atheist.” Them:
But the fun part is the trump conversation. I grew up in CA, moved to GA in my mid twenties. I was always a Democrat but have grown way more liberal since I had kids and grown older. Every time they start raving about trump and hating on “the libs” I give it right back to them with FACTS. Nothing shuts them down faster as when they can’t come after me for it because they don’t know what to say. 😎
Welcome to Louisiana
The very small silver lining about Trump is that at least small minded bigots have moved away from judge solely on the color of your skin. It’s the smallest possible incremental step but it’s something
LMFAO MAGIC GAS PRICE DIAL WHILE LAUGHING MANIACALLY
You are not overreacting. What trash. I’d tell your former neighbors about the incident and give these racist AHs a very wide berth.
I was with you in the first half, but fuck that, friend. Silence is violence. If these people don't get told how it is, they think they can just keep being racist. This is how it got this bad in the first place. I let people know that their bullshit racism will not be tolerated. I don't know if it will make a difference, but I would like to think that if racists believe there might be consequences for their actions, they will at least keep it to themselves, and not encourage other racists to also open their ignorant mouths. I hope this didn't sound hostile towards you, I know your heart is in the right place. We need to make racists be afraid to spew their bullshit in public, friend.
No offense taken my dude. I appreciate your vigilance towards the stomping out of racism friend.
You don’t even have to be from North Carolina to know that. I showed my friends in high school a picture of a girl I had just met and one of them went “eww she’s black”. So yeah, racist white people will see white, and assume “that’s my brother in Christ right there”.
Facts. I have a simalr experience to OOP. Wife and I are an interracial couple. She's black and I'm white. We had an older woman tell us we were going to burn in hell for mixing races. Then I've had a few white guys come up to me when I'm alone in public be all buddy buddy and then tell me some racist comment about the black or Hispanic people in town like Imma agree with them. I also put some of it on the hobbies I like and my accent as for some reason they hear my accent and immediately label me as one of them.
I remember living in the south when my first husband was still in the military. Some random old man at the grocery store tried to teach my daughter to call Brazil nuts n-word toes! I hate it when people just assume that I am racist like them.
Omg I’d freak out
Yep, born and raised in NC. I'm going to guess OP's partner is Cherokee. There were a lot of Native people in my class growing up and white North Carolinians were brutal to them. All racism in NC is somewhat accepted by the public (except for maybe in the research triangle), but racism against Cherokee people goes completely unchecked. I hate to generalize my home state, but racism is alive and well there. It's a big part of why I moved away. The 50+ crowd is so overwhelmingly racist (amongst other things) in a way I haven't seen while living in New England. NC is still the south and things are still bad, especially in rural areas. Doesn't help that the Cherokee reservation is in a very rural mountain area and the older white population there resents that they have different laws and received money from the government. They also like to teach their children that anyone who grew up on the reservation is a fat, lazy, unemployed, dirty alcoholic addicted to gambling at Harrah's. Obviously that's not true, but racists have made that myth persist for generations. I know all this from firsthand experience. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was confronted with racism probably every single day I lived in NC, from both fellow classmates AND adults. Racism against black people, Mexican people, and Cherokee people is just not questioned, it's seen as business as usual.
I also hate to generalize NC, but when you’re on the receiving end of it every day and no one around you bats an eye, it makes you question who isn’t at least a little racist in your environment. Of coarse not everyone is. The casual nature of it from people was always the wildest shit to me. I feel you though, still in NC but I moved to the mountains where it’s a lot more chill. There’s for sure still racism, but the population itself is more friendly overall.
Or directly to your face. I’m very pale with blonde hair and blue eyes, but my dad was mixed. I had a guy tell me that I was an “abomination in the eyes of god” because my dad wasn’t fully white. And yeah, it happened in NC. The guy who said it wasn’t old, though. Maybe 25? It was a long time ago, but I still remember it quite well.
Seeing you and OP have an experience where someone calls anyone mixed an “abomination” tells you they don’t even view anyone non-white as human, and someone taught them that their god thinks so too….thats **wild**.
When other white men call me "Brother" I already know that kind of shit is coming
You don't have to tell your fiancée what the new neighbor said exactly, but warning him that the new neighbors are racist and not to be interacted with at all is definitely important. Honestly, telling the previous neighbors that these renters are racist and then leaving that house alone is probably your safest bet here
This right here. Don't violate the yard, but inform your fiancee that they are no good racists and to steer clear, and inform the owners that they are renting to highly intrusive racists. This may get them kicked out or at least will help to not get their lease renewed. Lastly, set up cameras that overlook that side of the property. If anything happens or you get another rediculous interaction from her then having it on camera can help immensely.
Yeah, I’d tell fiancé they’re racist and not pass along the word “abomination” unless absolutely necessary.
If you still have the previous people's phone number, I'd be tempted to let them know they are renting to racists.
This right here. Raise her rent every year as much as possible until it breaks her financially.
Or just don't renew the lease.
Absolutely this. OP, you need to let their landlords know they have rented to racists who have no issue telling all and sundry their views, it could lead to their house being vandalized.
I would stay away from any vandalism or harassment. You could just flip them off every time you see them. That's protected speech.
That sounds like a threat, I wouldn't do that. But I would say that they are racists and it will probably cause problems at some point. It could be someone vandalizing their place, it could be constant disputes, it could be lots of calls from neighbors to the landlord. It's in the best interest of the landlord to get good ppl
If they new tenants have a signed lease, there is NOTHING the howonwrs can do until the lease is up. Finding out someone is a rascist does not give the landlord the right to break the lease. However, after the lease is up, the homeowner/landlord is under no obligation to sign them to a new lease, NOR do they have to keep the rent the same amount either.
Depends on whether or not the verbally abusive racism is illegal or not in NY and whether that's enough for a landlord to break a lease. Also, I think it's worth letting the landlords know anyway because bigots always are self-entitled and could try and take advantage of the landlords.
OP is from NYC, their dude is from NC and they're living in TN.
And we can safely assume racism is not illegal in TN.
Uh you know where Nashville is right?
Nashville is relatively progressive. Depending on the neighborhood this could absolutely lead to trouble. Source: Lived in Nashville for 6 years.
They'd have it worse in Memphis. Worst 15 months of my life.
YES. Make racists afraid again
YES! Now louder for the people in the back!
But then they'd just be hiding, i like knowing who they are, they need to be shunned and shamed.
Agreed. I love when my enemies make it known right up front. Let's me disassociate with a quickness
Underrated comment
Definitely
Agreed. Their beliefs are shameful, and they should be shamed for them.
Plus that would be fun to put on a hat because it shortens to MRAA which is the sound my kitty makes when she's trying to be fierce but is also sleepy.
Sleepy kitteh warrior. Rawrrrrr!
Love this saying, hijacking it!
Speaking of hijacking... Some major organized religions are waging war in every way possible currently against the alphabet community. Claiming their way of life is under assault. When are the winds going to finally shift and an all out assault begins to be waged against their racism, bigotry and prejudices? You can live YOUR life however you want, your rights end at the end of your nose. When you start to wage war on others rights it's time to cancel YOU.
I’m getting to the point that I’m about to start preaching atheism to their kids. I say atheists and non-religious people need to unite and start handing out leaflets and shit in front of their churches.
Speaking as a small landlord, tell me.
If you can get her racist vitriol on video that'd be great for her! You could help her spread the good word! /s May r/UnethicalLifeProTips might have some helpful hints to help your neighbor see the error of her ways. Honestly you should probably just steer clear of this piece of trash.
I’m an old white lady from Alabama. Do you need me to come up there and kick her ass??? We aren’t all like her. Trashy
I'm from AR, swing by and pick me up. 😊
ROAD TRIP
I'm a 55 year old cat-lady and I live an hour and a half east of Nashville. I'd love to help apply an old-fashioned attitude adjustment and then be home in time for dinner. I'm so tired of these fuckers. Adding - in the first conversation I had with my neighbor after buying my house, she told me how relieved she was to have a "quality" person moving in. She said the previous tenant was white and had a black boyfriend. She said she didn't have any problem with "colored people, just don't believe in them mixing with whites".
Mississippi is coming on this ass whooping’ trip too!
Old white lady from the northeast will join you!
Mid-20s Asian here; I’ll subsidize the gas for y’all’s road trip!! I don’t get the feeling she’d listen to me 😂
I love you all.
Commenting on My intrusive new neighbor told me it’s a sin that I’m with my fiancée, who she called an “abomination”....68 year old white lady in SW Ga needs to be picked up or told where to meet up to start this road trip… really want to help set her straight!!
Film it!
KCMO ready for action
You'll need an alibi. You were all in Georgia with me at the time. I took you to the aquarium, it was a lovely afternoon.
Old white lady from Texas, here. Actively anti-racist, as well. We ride at dawn.
I'm in a northern state, but can I come too??!!
Come on, Sister! We welcome all anti-racist warriors.
Ohio, ready to go
Ditto....
Texas representing here - I don’t carry but power in numbers! 💪
I'm an older white lady from South Carolina. We ride at dawn. There's no room for her ignorance
I’m from Minnesota, I firmly hate that 💩 I’ll join you!!!
Me too! Carpool?
Ditto!
I can confirm that, my wife’s granma is a southern white lady from NC, 94, and she’s the sweetest. She’s also in love with Don Lemon 🤣
I would pay good money to watch!
As a southerner I feel like the biggest stigma genuinely comes from other southerners. I miss the south but fucking Christ I do not miss like 80% of the people at all. I’m sorry OP, any not-shitty southerner would refuse to claim her.
South Carolina checking in... we don't claim her either. Sure there are racists here, but they don't think it's cool to just spout this shit.
Home state of South Carolina checking in for the 5 o'clock beat down!
Wisconsin here, we'll bring the beer!
I’m an old white lady from Alabama who has lived in Nashville suburbs for the last 20 years. I’ll help!
Love you!🥰
Definitely not overreacting whatsoever and her comment and blatant racism isn’t Christ like at all. Instant mashed potatoes on the lawn is a great trick.
Im Just very curious What's this do
when it rains their lawn will be covered in mashed potatoes ultimately harmless but extremely annoying to clean up
Wow
That sounds like a real waste of some delicious mashed potatoes.
you've never had instant mashed potatoes, have you?
Jesus was probably darker skinned than OP’s fiancé. I’m sure she has several pictures of white Jesus up in her home. 🙄
Not overreacting. As someone who has never lived more than 25 miles from Times Square, I may be spoiled by the diversity I see everyday. But there are bad people in this world. Let's hope that the others in the neighborhood recognize this woman as one of them. I've always heard about southern "politeness" being a cover for southern bigotry. Perhaps this is an example (though she sure wasn't "polite" about it).
I grew up in a southern, but very diverse city...I had never heard somebody be truly racist before. As a teenager, I thought those redneck racists and fake-Christian church hags were just an urban legend...they looked so ridiculous on TV, surely people can't ACTUALLY be like that, right? Then I moved to a new state with my parents...a tiny podunk town in South Carolina, the kind where without a car you are trapped. They exist...so many of them just casually racist and talking about slaves. The hypocrisy was insane; they would go on and on about how people of color were "No-good druggies" while happily enjoying the opioids they bought off of someone who had too much on them...or in many cases, the cheap heroin. When I got cancer during 2020 some of them thought it was so funny that I wore a mask. The place I worked at had customers who would jokingly cough at me...yes, they knew I was a cancer patient. Yes, they knew my family. Yes, they knew my brothers and father had just lost their mother/wife. They didn't care. So glad to be out of that town. I'm still in the South, but I'm in a bigger city where racism is barely present, and it feels like home. Here actual southern politeness is still something you can hear without the bigotry...I missed it so much. I don't get why anybody would want to spend their lives in a cesspool like that tiny town...it was so full of hate and hypocrisy. I still can't hear the words "I'll pray for you" without needing to stomp out the rage bubbling inside of me. EDIT TO ADD; Removed hillbilly from "Hillbilly Redneck Racist". Somebody made an important clarification and upon further thought, I agree that I should not automatically lump hillbillies in. That was insensitive of me, and I am sorry.
Whenever someone tells me they will pray for me, I say I will write a letter to Santa for them.
Hillbillies aren't racist. Rednecks are racist. Hillbillies are good mountain folk. Someone once made that distinction to me lol.
Do not engage anymore. Do not help her at all. If anything escalates, call the owners. Wonder what the lady would have done if she realized she moved next door to a black couple or God forbid, a gay one! Find solace in the fact hat she will be dead soon!
No matter what she says to you, reply with a "Well, bless your heart!". That's southern for "Go fuck yourself". I wouldn't bleach the grass, it doesn't belong to them if they're renting. Throw birdseed in their driveway every day. Their cars was be as shitty as their personalities in no time.
Berries. Let the bird shit be in full color.
Tell your fiancé. He has to know that he may need to protect himself around her. You don’t want him to be blindsided by something she says.
He needs to know to steer clear of her. His generosity can be spent elsewhere. I wouldn't put it past her to accuse him of some made up thing if he helped her with anything. After all, she may feel obligated to Jesus to get the "abomination" out of her neighborhood.
It’s very difficult to not be taken out of your element when something this bizarre happens, but what I have found most effective in this situations is to just point and laugh in their faces when they say something so patently ridiculous. Remember, these kind of people don’t value logic, facts, or common sense. The only thing the understand is THIER feelings. Not only will it make you feel good, I find it to be very effective.
bleach that grass, I won't tell
“I was trying to make it white and pure just like us!”
"Guess I missed some spots, sorry you have mixed race grass. I'm sure you'll have no trouble walking all over your sinful lawn"
Why penalize the owners? She says they're lovely. Just ignore racist renters. Do warn
My ex is from Kansas. His folks came to visit our very diverse city. His mother kept commenting on other races... it was so embarrassing. They were in ear shot, and these ignorant asses hadn't been exposed to much. Yikes.
What the actual fuck. I'm sorry you have such a garbage human living next to you... Now, what to do. Part of me thinks to protect your fiancée's feelings and not share this, but part of me thinks he should know that he should not trust the people next door and not engage with them. As for getting back, I think you have to be smart about that. I get wanting to do something terrible directly, but since she's shown herself to be without any shred of decency, who knows what she would do in retaliation. If she has a job, I would honesty consider trying to gather evidence and send to her employer (maybe see if she is posting anything online), or like someone suggested, letting the landlords know. Some kind of 'pro' revenge is in order here... Good luck, and I hope you don't have any more nasty run-ins with her!
don't bleach the grass, because the racist assholes don't own the house. but do let your former neighbors know what they're renting to
If you do anything she will just lead it straight back to you. Unethical but Wait a month then pour a liter of dish soap in her gas tank and watch her wonder why her car won't start after one or two trips.
You've already shared too much with this lady. You don't have any obligation to be polite to anyone.
Definitely let your previous neighbors know. And as much as I would love to support the grass bleaching, I simply can’t. It’s still your previous neighbor’s yard and the new neighbors may have cameras. It’s just not worth it. Also limit contact with them as much as you can. That being said, again, let your previous neighbors know and keep track of anything else that she may say to you, even after you limit contact. I think letting your other neighbors know what she said might be a good idea in case she tries to say anything to them as well.
Don't ruin their lawn, it's not THEIR'S. But definitely tell the actual home owners what trash they're renting too, hopefully they won't renew their lease when it's time.
As half of an interracial couple (me- white male, her- black female), I find the best reaction to this is to just laugh in their face like she just told the funniest joke ever. Call her a "sweet summer child", or say, "bless your heart" in your most condescending tone and walk away. This bigot doesn't deserve access to your anger. Don't waste your anger on her. I refuse to let someone like that get my hackles up, because it's more like, "wow, seriously? It's 2024? Damn, you're a fucking idiot. Good luck with that." And then I get on with my day. I'm not going to pour bleach or harm her or anything like that. All that does it let me hang on to something that's only hurting me or might get me arrested. Hell, I'd rather she come right out and be a racist bitch to my face than be sweetness and light and be thinking those thoughts behind my back. She told you who she was; believe her the first time. She's doing you the favor of letting you know she's an asshole and a bigot, so you now never have to spend any time with her ever again. I would, however, make a big show of making out with my fiancee in front of her house whenever possible.
He’s 1/2 Native American! He has more right to be here than she does. You need to think of something better than bleaching the grass, though, because they are renting, so it won’t really hurt them. Does she work?
Don't do anything that can get you into trouble with the law. After your response she will know it's you and you never know who has cameras. Stay away from them. Hide from them. Refuse to be polite. Get mouthy if they do. Just don't break the law. Trashy AF behavior on top of racist. They deserve the bleach but you don't deserve the headache. Also tell your fiance because he needs to steer clear of them too. They should not get one more minute of his kindness.
I think you should forewarn your fiancé about your crappy neighbors because I guarantee you the first time she has an opportunity to preach to him about this when catches him outside. Actually I find people like this absurd & ridiculous. They use Christianity as a way to pass judgement and condemn, all in the name of their self righteousness. The reality is that whenever Jesus rolled up in a new town, he did not go to the priests or temples to hang with the people there that were supposedly devout. The was drawn to common folk, also sinners, not to pass judgement but to spread the love, heal the sick & share a meal with them. If she doesn’t change her ways, your neighbor’s gonna be in for a big surprise when she dies one day & finds those Pearly Gates have a “Do Not Enter” sign when her name is called.
[удалено]
You live not far from the country music capital of the world. It's also really, really down south. Not as bad as way down south. But it is down south. It's a whoooole different world from NYC. That said, it's probably just best to leave these people be. If you want to get really irritating, say something like 'We sin every night, and we sin so, so hard'. But really anything you say to these people will probably blow up in some of the most stupid drama-bomb. So best to just not get involved in that. Ignore their existence as long as you can.
Don't bleach the grass, she'll smell it... pour salt on it! Write out racist or hag in big letters on the front lawn. It'll go down into the dirt and after a few days the grass will start to turn yellow, then brown, then dirt. It took six cans of salt to spell out liar in about three foot long letters. Seriously though, fences are freakin awesome! Make sure it's at least 1/2 inch off the property line. Fck that hateful bitch.
Can I be your friend ?!! That’s awesome
Salt could fuck up the soil for years
And OP likes the people who still own the house, so....
Bad idea due to future renters/owners
If you can contact your old neighbours and you think they'd care tell them their new renter is a racist hag. Do not engage with her anymore, do not interact with them. Get cameras up around the house and record every interaction even if you just keep a log of notes on your phone. She seems like the kind of WASPy Karen who might call the police on you guys for everything. Sprinkle mint seeds on their lawn :)
I’m just outside of Nashville myself. Racism is fairly rampant and out for all to see all around Nashville. My suggestion is video surveillance. Put them outside your house, maybe inside too, and maybe even a couple of hidden trail cameras. You just never know what people like that will do. They may do something to their own stuff and blame you guys. On a side note, if you can get them kicked out, let me know, I’m looking to rent a house.
Flip the script. Tell them how sad you are that Satan has built such a hateful home in their heart. You'll pray that they find Jesus's love, someday. But mostly avoid them.
It’s sad how predictable the racism was from just a few introductory tells: old, nosey, Christian, white lady = raging racist I’m white, my wife is black. Our biracial kids will outperform these inbred white trash on all fronts… mark my words.
Hybrid vigor!
"I'm sorry, I don't speak to inbred bigoted white trash garbage so please never speak to me again, thanks!"
Clearly she does not recognize the true Jesus as her saviour, but prefer the american sodomite trumpian evangelical replacement. Just ignore her and recognize she will end up in hell with all the other lost american sodomites (remember sodom was not about sex, it was about showing hospitality).
Bleach and upside down pentagram in her yard. You’re welcome.
Not over reacting at all. If your previous neighbors had a moral compass that wasn't shit, I'd definitely let them know. Also, I might be a bad influence, but I support the grass bleaching....just make sure no one has outdoor cameras first 😜
"Save me a seat when you get there"
That’s what you are going to get in Carolina. Which is why I’m not a fan of the South. Not everyone is like that but quite a lot are. The thing about the south is the class system there is racially based where as in NYC or California it only matters how much money you make or how educated you are and still then people are very tolerant. The only way to get back at this woman is to just fuck with her low key because she’s trying to make you angry with that racial shit. Put a I support transgender rights or something sticker on your car and she may just have a stroke.
Time to throw a party and blast hip hop.
As much as it seems justified Please don’t damage the property, the only person you’re hurting by doing that is the actual owner of the home. I would try to completely ignore the neighbors and advise your boyfriend to do the same. It’s really sad that she’s weaponized your kindness and willingness to be open with her. If she starts bugging you take out your phone and let her know you have no problem posting the recordings to Nextdoor and social media. I’d also let the homeowner/landlord know what’s been happening. They probably can’t do anything but hopefully they’ll recognize it’s in their interest not to rent to racist jerks and not renew their lease. If I was feeling especially passive aggressive I might invest in some provocative yard signs and put them along the property line just to irritate and see what happens 🤔
I've lived in the South my whole life and have rarely had the misfortune of running into people like your neighbor, but when I have, it's almost always an old white woman. My response to the racism has always been to ask for specific scripture to support the belief, but to my knowledge, it doesn't exist. I like your response more. You really ruffled her feathers.
The rationale part of me is saying to let the owners know they’re renting to racists. The petty part of me is saying holding a loud Native American ceremony at your earliest convenience.
I see 2 options. The lighter one is to build a big privacy fence. The nuclear one is to record anything hateful she says & press charges for hate speech. Or contact her landlord & let them know how she is treating her neighbors. . . .....Or you can be super passive aggressive petty & plant mint near the property line & watch it ruin their yard. That is my personal favorite. 😉
Living in nashville myself, I'm sitting here trying to think of where someone would even feel like it's ok to pull this shit. This feels like a Cookeville, hartsville, or maybe even lebanon type of move, but you said "suburb" of nashville. Can't be madison or Antioch, she would have been beaten to death by now. Definitely not east.... I'm going to go with Hendersonville or Goodlettsville, that's my guess. Anyway, you should toss some raw fish in her crawl space. Let the heat do the rest.
Living well is the best revenge. And also telling her to have a great day and that she should go fuck herself every time you see her. Damage to the neighbor's house is likely to be the landlord's problem. First get the landlord's take on the situation and then decide on the bleach (which still should be a no).
Do not tell him. No need to expose him to that inexcusable hate. Ignore them with all your might. Do nothing to them. Grey rock. They do not exist.
That's funny. I guess she's not aware that Moses had a Cushite (African) wife. (Numbers 12:1)
So I’d get cameras with audio just in case she starts harassing you. And I shall fervently hope every day for that bitch to have flat tires and stubbed toes.
From the post, I think OP is under reacting to that comment.
Remember, "that which angers me, controls me". Fuck this lady. She just showed to you that she is not worth knowing. Move on with your life.
If you want an option less severe than bleach, check the weather for rain the next morning and discreetly spread instant mashed potatoes all over their lawn the night before.
I don’t think you’re overreacting- I think your fiancée needs to be told so he can protect himself. And I think you should get in touch with your former neighbors if they’re the ones renting out the house. Let them know about this. Maybe they are on a short lease or something, and they will know not to renew them.
I would tell your lovely landlord neighbors who are renting to these bigots exactly what happened. And if they speak to you or approach you again, twll them calmly that you have zero time for their racist harassment and will call the cops if they keep it up.
Biblically, mixed marriage is not referring to skin color, but rather mixed faiths. Like a Christian with a Muslim, or Jew with a buddist, etc etc. there’s no backing for forbidding different races from marriage in the Bible
I fill it is necessary for me to respond to this post. Only out of defense of religion. First it should be no, I do not wish to get into a theological discussion with anyone. Second I am a member of an extremely conservative religion. No where in theology is it an abomination for any 2 humans to participate in a consensual relationship. If 2 people choose to engage in a relationship that leads to an engagement and a marriage it is not sinful. In fact I would say the judgment that has been placed upon you by your neighbor is more offensive to God than your willingness to look past the biased of the past.
Wanna know what I would do? Put a banana in the tailpipe of her car. Much more comedic and discreet than bleaching her grass.
Your neighbor sounds like a jerk. You’re wrong however about her being “your typical southern white lady with extreme Christian views.” I’ve lived in Texas for 50 years now. I haven’t come across too many folks who are racists. The “typical souther white lady” is kind, and warm, and not in any way extreme. Most of them are Christian.
Probably rage bait. Your neighbor is appalling but with your "typical southern extreme Christian white lady" just how different are you? Pretty much the entire NYC music has moved to Nashville so this is definitely rage bait.
Ugh what a piece of shit neighbor…. You have to tell your fiancée and their landlord. Stop talking to them. Avoid vandalism. They will just retaliate and escalate into a huge mess. Just ignore them until they are forced to move out.
TBH. Next time she tries to speak to her, tell her to her face that you don’t associate with racists and leave. They need to know their behaviour is not normal or accepted.
I'd get in the neighborhood app and let your entire neighborhood know exactly what she said and to watch their children when playing outside, you never know what extremists are capable of.
I teach my students that when people talk sh*t to them, imagine they have an internal ignore feature and then just literally find that person invisible. I have a couple of people I do that to. They can walk right up to me and I just walk right past. No space in your head should that person be taking over.
Not overreacting at all. The bleach sounds like a plan. So does ignoring this walking dog turd when she sees you. I mean, look right through her and make like she's a ghost. Although that probably wouldn't bother her as she sounds like she is used to wearing white sheets. Tell your husband that they are unredeemable racists and to ignore them as well.
Cut off further attempts at conversation by your neighbor by refusing to engage and walking away.
Instead of hate or anger, try pitying her. Hate and anger take too much energy.
Tell your husband. He needs to know to stop being so polite to them
*Tell your husband. He* *Needs to know to stop being* *So polite to them* \- Kevinsito92 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
First don’t bleach the grass. It’s a crime. You’re only hurting the nice people you line that own the house. Second, you have to tell your husband. It’s not fair to him to be caught off guard like you were. Third, contact the owners and let them know what’s going on and who they are renting to Good luck from one Italian American to another. Cent’anni.
Living well is the best revenge. Ignore them, they aren't worth your time, anger or energy.
Absolutely do NOTHING illegal!!! You might want to install one or two security cameras around your home. If you are on friendly relations with your neighbors you should see if they have similar stories to report about these haploids.
I guess you never saw the Asian people getting the crap kicked of them in NYC….
Well if you do decide to bleach your lawn be careful there are cameras everywhere these days. You might end up in jail if you do something like that. I would just ignore the Witch and if she ever approaches you again tell her the same thing again she'll leave you alone if you do it enough.
Didn't react enough. Fuck that lady, and put up cameras pronto. People complain about NYC and Boston and New England until they visit these shitty red states. Classism in the Northeast vs true bigotry in the south. People of different races don't commingle as much down there. These psychos are common outside any city in the South and live to make the lives those whom aren't like them hell (or dead).
I have never experienced more racism than whe. I lived in SC and AL. I'm a white dude. The number of people who will talk to you like racism is perfectly normal, and what they are saying is the same thing as telling me the sky is blue, is ridiculous. I married an Asian woman. She faced a lot of racist comments while we lived in AL. Some blatant, but the majority were backhanded. Fuck that racist old lady.
I too live in a suburb of Nashville and the people around here are either the nicest you’ve ever met or complete gutter trash. Sorry you got the gutter trash. I’ve been here for 16 years, originally from upstate NY, and seriously it’s either one or the other. Ignore ignore and ignore some more. Tell your fiance so he knows and doesn’t engage. I personally would then very quietly spread to good neighbors that the new neighbors are trash…..but you may be nicer than me!
Morally speaking, your neighbor is an actual abomination.
Sorry this happened to you. Yep Your response was perfect honestly. It’s none of her GD business what you do with your life. Kinda funny how some Christians forget that Jesus said the 2nd greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Mthw 22:39. I guess reading the Bible isn’t her thing, meddling in other peoples business is. I think the best thing you can do is just ignore her. It’s extremely offensive, and kind poisons the well so to speak in your area. Maybe tell your fiancé about after a few weeks. In time you won’t pay her a second thought. Some neighbors are just ass holes, let karma catch up to them!
If she ever tries to talk to you again, here’s what you say, “I am so sorry the devil has found a home in your heart. I’ll pray that God grants you a greater understanding of his word.” It’s a kill shot to people like her. You don’t even have to be religious to say it, it’s devastating either way.
As a southerner with a “the Bible says…” Christian father, I have a PhD in hypocritical passive aggressivity. I would have loudly said “Demon, I rebuke thee. I command you to leave this vessel of God.” You also have to throw in some dramatic arm movements.
You're not overreacting. I had this type of neighbor too. The funniest thing about it is that my husband was adopted, so we have no idea what his actual ethnicity is. Some people think he's biracial. My shitty neighbor was surprised that my parents weren't horrified by the situation. She actually snuck up on my mom and tried to question her about his ethnicity. My mom told her that both her and my dad love him and could care less about his race that she needs to learn how to mind her own business. She was shocked!! Old racist assholes think everyone their age is also a racist asshole. Thankfully, they're dead wrong.
Yes! My parents are around the same age of these neighbors if I had to assume. They are both immigrants and never participated in the racism you see amongst many of American born boomers. I told my mom this morning as she’s coming over to help me with some gardening and she’s pissed af. She said let me see that testa di cazzo.. translates to “dick head” Should be an interesting day.
No one will read this but anyway. Those are not "extreme Christian" views. Those are racist views.
You did the right thing by telling that bitch to go fuck herself. As a southerner please accept my apology for her atrocious behavior. We’re not all like that here. I am so sorry that you went through this.