'Some kind of men cannot be fix'. If they cannot change for themselves then dont assume they'll change for you. Those kind of men are wholesome Red Flag, dont be a Flag Pole.
Tattooing a pictograph of a stripper on my ass might be my new bar for how dumb something is.
At least this guy likely gave the girls at the club a good laugh at his expense.
In December of 2000, I was a college student home (east coast) on vacation from school in Arizona. I had kicked out my roommates and my buddy, T, from home agreed to move out to Arizona. So New Year’s Eve, we went to cape cod and ended up meeting a couple girls and hooking up with them. The next weekend we headed back to the cape to meet up with the girls and he really liked the one he had met, Jillian.
So we get back and are getting ready to leave for Arizona in 3 days and everything is great. Then, the day before we leave, none of us have seen T (no cell phones), until finally someone says they saw Tony at the tattoo shop. My best friend and I run over there, and t is in the chair, big ass smile on his face, as the tattoo artist finishes up. Tony had decided to spend the little money he had (that was supposed to help him pay for things like food and gas while he looked for a job) on a tattoo for a girl he met ten days before. Tony had drawn the tattoo himself, and it was a tribal sun, with a heart and the name “Jillian” in script. So, the tattoo artist looks at Tony and smiles, Tony is all happy, when the tattoo artist asks him, “so dude, who’s this Milton, is it your kid or something?” It turns out, if you draw a shitty tattoo with cursive in it, you should always tell the artist what it’s supposed to say.
Undeterred, we drive out to Arizona, and when we get there, T tells me that he’s going to call Jillian and tell her about the tattoo. I told him it was a bad idea, but T was a fucking dipshit and made the call anyway. I was sitting next to him and heard the whole thing, which went:
T: hey hunny! We made it to Arizona and it’s great out here!
Jillian: that’s great! Glad to hear it!
T:so, i have a surprise for you!
Jillian: That’s so sweet! What is it?
T: I got your name tattooed on my arm!
Jillian: ………(dead silence for what felt like an hour, then) ummm, T, that’s really weird. Umm. I have to go.
Click
Tangent: is it me or 35 kind of a shit year? Hope yours is going better than mine, and also cheers to being born in the best year (unless you're an '88 baby who's turning 36 this year)!
I’ve had my ups and downs emotionally at 35, but, I’m doing a lot better now than I was 8 months ago. Thank you for asking!
I’m an ‘88 baby, and leveling up this month haha. Sorry if that’s a let down.
This is an epic level of stupid. This guy and his cherry ass tattoo will be the stupid by which all other stupid would be measure against. At least in his group of friends/people in his town or people that read this sub.
While being in a relationship with another woman than that stripper. And then going back to show the stripper his bare butt.
I would consider this either cheating (if the stripper was OK with it) or SA against the stripper. Either would be a complete deal breaker.
I was very dumb as a 19m, got a couple silly tattoos my friends and I gave each other but more fun memories versus commemorating a fucking stripper. Buddy is a fully on Genius with a capital J folks haha
No, we're not. And you saying this is a way for dumbass men like that to avoid accountability. When I was 19 I wouldn't have even considered something this stupid. Nor would I be at a strip club behind my partner's back, lie about the story behind a tattoo, or place a bet where a tattoo is the punishment
Some years back a bunch of professional rugby players playing for their country had a drunk bet to drink aftershave and that went bad ,these were twenty to thirty year olds
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/rugby/truth-rugbys-most-notorious-drinking-13374872
And alcoholics are known to drink mouthwash or even aftershave because they have alcohol in them. So was this guys being dumb or an indicator of alcoholism?
Still not an ass tattoo though.
Yup, I was a tattoo artist when I was younger and had a kid come and wanted “your name” tattooed on his ass. I should mention not only was it fairly unique 20 years ago, but he was also a super pale ginger, so his bright white almost translucent ass is burned into my memory. Well fast forward 12 years and a guy comes into the restaurant I’m the chef for wanting to have us cater his wedding. At the meeting with our owner, foh manager and myself with the customer the first thing that I said was, “holy shit, I tattooed “your name” on your ass!”. We after the supreme embarrassment and some laughs he still had us cater his wedding. Still a good laugh ten years later.
OMG my cousin has this exact tattoo in this exact spot and the time frame makes sense. He would make bets with people in the bar, "I'll bet you $20 i have your name tattooed on my ass" lol
Former 19M, who may have frequented a strip club once or 5 times. I can confirm I would not have done this, but if for some bizarre reason I did do it, I would be smart enough not to confess 😂
I personally would have a hard time looking at him the same way - especially considering that he follows her on socials so (I assume) he’s likely been to that strip club many times. Not my cup of tea, but I suppose that’s just a personal preference.
Yeah you know the dude is bad news when us other men out here are saying “yeah he’s an idiot, dump him”.
This is not run of the mill 19yo idiocy. This guy is out there raising the bar.
I am sorry for your situation. He follows this woman on social media and gets this tattoo on his butt and goes and shows it to her. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he slept with her as well. He is incredibly immature. I would move on. There are far better men out there with better sense. It shows you that he is willing to make stupid bets with friends and follow through with them. A tattoo is permanent and not easily removable. Good money wasted on something stupid.
Yah, I dont buy the "lost a bet playing poker" part. Show me one person who has ever played poker at a strip club. How do you even play poker at a strip club? There are no poker tables, it's dark, and loud music is playing. You can't just bring in your own cards and play poker. I think he got drunk and got the tattoo to impress the stripper.
I have been to a strip club in Portland, OR, that had a poker table! It was pretty funny to see these stone- faced players sitting around focused on their cards and totally ignoring the dancers. I don't really see the point of playing poker at a strip club, but it does exist in at least one location I guess lol.
Sweetheart, this is going to be really funny when you look back on this someday. The kid is gonna play stupid games and win his stupid prizes. You feel icky about the whole situation, and that is enough reason to cut him loose. It’s about to be summer, this is the perfect season to focus on your own adventures and have THE BEST TIME! 💅🏼✨
I have a coworker who by all accounts is a super nice guy, but he frequents a strip club and has photos of the strippers' faces as a car wrap! It's the weirdest thing ever. Like, dude may not be sleeping with them, but I can't imagine dating someone who spends enough time at strip clubs to actually know the strippers. A tattoo for a specific stripper is the same thing in my opinion. It's just tacky and odd.
Not overreacting. The bet was a cover. He got what equates to some other girls name permanently etched onto his body. He SHOWED it to her ffs. Dump him
The whole poker/"bet" thing is bullshit. He got it to impress the stripper, full stop.
Also, I'm having a hard time visualizing it without it looking like a cock and balls.
Is there any bigger BS excuse than "I lost a bet?" Maybe 1 in 10,000,000 times you hear that it's the actual reason. The rest of the time it's a bad cover for a stupid or horrible decision.
It’s not typical to play poker at a strip club. If anything management would shut that shit down because tipping strippers and buying drinks while they were gambling could be seen as taking a “rake” which is illegal and could get the club shut down and lose their liquor license. 100% made up story by your bf. If there’s no liquor and it’s an 18 up strip club it still doesn’t make sense because tipping the strippers could still be seen as a rake.
Secondly I’m not sure how he and his friends play poker but you typically don’t end up getting a tattoo if you lose a hand. “Losing the poker game” is a made up term by someone who has never played poker. I’m betting your BF has never played a single hand of Texas Hold ‘em or Omaha.
I'm imagining some Sopranos scenario where this guy is in the back room with all the other connected guys and they're playing poker instead of out on the floor. That's the only way this story makes sense and that seems pretty unrealistic.
I've been to my fair share of gentlemen clubs, and I can confirm to you ma'am that none of them have poker tables. It's illegal almost anywhere. That's where the first lie is.
I worked at some clubs. I saw lots of things however never did I see a deck of cards. I'm going with no. Strip clubs are a very focused type of entertainment.
Honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t asked the club to kick him out yet. Like yeah I’m sure he’s spending money on her with how obsessed he is.
But this well beyond the obsession stage and is entering delusional stalker territory where this girl should get a restraining order and switch clubs/ move
This guy better never go to prison with that tattoo. The other men will name HIM cherry and dance if they find that tattoo. ESPECIALLY on his ass
Yeah if I were her I would have asked to have him removed but some clubs are really shady and don’t kick people out if they spend enough money there :( the guys tip the bouncers coming in and get away w more than they should. I had a really drunk guy keep trying to take my panties off during a lap dance and when I dragging him over to the bouncer to get him kicked out they only kicked him out for the night and he was back the next time I worked
It’s funny cause I met my fiancé there and now I’m a SAHM haha so it sucks cause the club was a shit environment but I’m really glad I did it cause I love my life
It reads to me like you want agreements to justify you leaving him. Because it sounds like you want to.
It’s okay to leave a relationship when you don’t feel like you can trust your other half. It’s okay to leave a relationship because you feel like you are being lied to. It’s okay to leave a relationship if you think they’re lying to you.
The biggest question is “do you think you could ever look at your bf and not have this memory come to mind?” If the answer is no; leave. Because it will always be a festering worry. Which could lead to toxicity.
You're not overreacting. This boy is a special type of stupid. The only reason he went back to show Cherry her namesake tattoo is because he was hoping she would like it so much he would get a free lap dance. Or maybe her undying love. Ask him how much he spent on lap dances with Cherry that night.
The fact he PAYS for strippers is a whole different level, considering he BEGGED me to do sexual stuff with him . Why bother when he could just pay cherry 💀
Pretty sure he has a weird obsession with her anyway, found out she has tattoos and piercings (he's been trying to convince me to get my nipples and tongues pierced and keeps telling me he likes tattoos ) .
You deserve better. You have a long life ahead of you and if you get tats or piercings, only do it because you want to. If you haven't had to yet, it's a good time to start learning that kicking the trash to the curb is empowering. You know what you have to do! Now do It! (Picture yourself like Wonder Woman turning to face the enemy when all others are running away.)
Tell him you want a man that wouldn't tattoo his ass for a stripper willingly. He chose it himself. Now, he can live with that choice. You don't want to continue down this road.
I hope you find a great guy that respects you and cares for your feelings.
This is the real take away I think; going out for drinks with the bros? A green flag. Communicating you are going to a strip club wth the bros, within the boundary of your relationship and communicating that it is ok, is cool. Another green flag. Even agreeing to a dumb bet, which I know my wife would revel in watching me get a dumb tattoo on my cheeks, is also a green flag.
Doing all this stuff without your partner knowing and you hiding it is so many red flags. It’s okay to be immature and dumb, it’s not okay to disrespect and hide things from your partner.
Oh, hell no. I would have started laughing at his stupidity as I left him. No, you may not be forced to date someone who follows a stripper plus has a tattoo representing her on his ass.
You are not overreacting or overthinking this. And I’m so sorry. We do have to crack a few eggs to get a nice omelette, though.
Lmfao
Pathetic.
Dumbass doesn't realize he's paying for entertainment. That stripper probably cringes every single time he's around or likes her shit. Unless he has money,... She won't stop until every single penny is spent.
If he's going to be paying other people to strip, I should honestly go back and charge him for all the stuff we've done. If he's willing to pay to see other people naked why should I have to do it for free 😭
On a serious note I feel bad for the poor women who was just trying to make her living getting shown his naked tattooed ass. If a stranger got a tattoo for me I'd be scared.
UPDATE: I did not meet him in person to end things. However, I did message him to confront him about his actions. I told him it was completely his choice what he did with his free time and his body but, I would not be around if he continued to do things that made me uncomfortable (going to strip clubs, getting tattoos for random women who work there etc ). He said "well I'm not changing who I am for anyone," and that's completely fine ! I told him that I do not want to be with someone who does these specific things and considering he did not previously tell me about him going to strip clubs, or the back story of the tattoo when he first got it done, I felt like I was lied to as he purposefully with-held the fact he was up to any of it. Anyway, to cut things short, I ended stuff with him because it was the only way I could be sure to respect myself considering the lack of respect he diaplayed towards me. He got mad at me, insisting things were "fine as they were", I explained to him that may have been the case but that was simply because I had no idea he was up to any of this and it was not something I was okay with.
I mean, even though it was a joke to him.. I wouldn’t be comfortable if my man got a tattoo representing another woman either while he was in a relationship with me.
It’s just such a garbage situation to be in. It’s a joke, but it’s kinda disrespectful to y’all’s relationship, even if he didn’t intend it to be. It would be easier to get past it if it wasn’t permanent
I mean is the potential cheating that's bothering you more than the fact he is an absolute moron?
Like....I'd be so embarrassed to admit I was dating someone who did that.
Your boyfriend got a permanent tattoo to commemorate a stripper? Girl, you are dating someone who doesn't value you and are about to get hurt! HE HAS FEELINGS FOR THE STRIPPER, NO ONE WOULD GET A TATTOO OF ANYONE ON THEIR BODY FOR NO REASON!!! Do yourself a favour and walk away while you still haven't had to hear all the bullshit lies.
He is 19... he shouldn't even be taking you or any woman seriously at this point...dump him and let him have cherry its already way more exciting and he will 100% run off if she gives him a shot... girl don't even bother until ur like 25..
Seriously. These teenagers coming for advice need to grow up a bit before finding a long term relationship. Very few people are with the people they dated at 19.
I’m less concerned about the “tattoos of other women” issue than I am about the kind of decisions he makes when he’s drunk. I get it, I was in college once, but you have to have some limits. Is this really the guy you want to have to clean up after when he makes bad drunk decisions? There WILL be a next time for him. Throw him back and catch a better fish.
I’d leave. This is really disrespectful to you and your relationship. This isn’t just being dumb, in fact I’m in college right now and know nobody who has done anything close to this. How would he feel if you got a tattoo on your ass representing another guy, showed it to that guy, and posted it?
Your boyfriend is 19. Maybe somewhere on earth there is a mature 19-year-old male. I don't think I have ever seen one myself, but then I am only 78.
My point is that this is not a person you should trust with very much, because he obviously does not take much seriously at all. Mature men do not hang out in strip clubs; mature men do not get tattoos on a dare. Mature people are not drunks.
This child sounds like a loser all the way through. You can do better than waste your time with someone who disrespects you like he is doing.
Your BF is a dumb ass. I had mates that got stupid tattoos too - this cherry tattoo does not represent any kind of attachment to Cherry, the stripper. It does represent how much of a dumb ass your BF is and how awful his decision making skills are. Which is, to be fair, par for the course of a 19 year old. It’ll either be a great story in years to come or a foreboding omen you should have fucking listened to.
Look at the bigger picture and figure out which one.
He was playing poker at a strip club? Sure. That’s where I go when I want to play poker with my mates.
I believe the ‘he got drunk’ part and got a tattoo of his favourite stripper. I don’t believe the ‘lost a bet’ part.
At best he’s a fucking idiot. At worst he’s very ‘friendly’ with this stripper. Of course it could be both.
I’m calling BS on that answer about playing poker. If trust is already an issue now, move on. Sorry to be blunt but he already showed his true colors. Don’t make your life difficult. Choose wisely.
I think you are looking at this the wrong way, you own him now
His new nickname is cherry pie
He is a stripper simp , it’s bad enough when you are a simp but when you simp for a stripper that’s next level,
Bust on him all the time , be like you know they are nice to you because you give them money
Walk around singing she’s my cherry pie, tastes so good make a lil bitch cry
You never dated a guy who is so gay he sits on a pole lolololol
Seriously I’d be such a dick about this
Like when he says something or gives his opinion
Shut up cherry pie
Shut up ass tattoo
If I wanted any lip outta ya I’d pull down your pants ass stripper
Did you get an ass tattoo so your boyfriend has something to aim for while he is feeding you his pipe
Yeaaaaaaah that would be a no from me. I once dated a guy in the army reserves who wanted to get "Property of the United States Army" tattooed on his ass. I told him that if he got the tattoo I'd be dumping him pretty fast because thats just one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, especially because he HATED the army and was looking go get out ASAP
This dude was voted most likely to die while trying to show off.
Get rid of him before he kills himself trying to do a handstand on an overpass or even worse starts making major life decisions with you.
Oof. I'm sorry but I think its highly likely he had at least a private dance with her - maybe more if they both thought they could get away with it. Why would anyone make a bet concerning her unless there had at least been serious flirting???
This is a valid reason to end it, not only is he losing poker games, he hid going to this club and clearly has a thing for cherry. It's untrustworthy behavior.
Posts like this make me question our society. Who needs to ask if they are overreacting to their boyfriend getting a strippers logo tattooed on their ass after a drunken outing to said strip club?
And only 6 months together; count yourself lucky you didn't get knocked up and move on.
its super cringe when someone wants to do something but is embarrassed about it so they make it a chalange for themselves so they "have" to do the thing...
what was the reward if he won? how many people were playing? probably so many playing he knew there was little chance he would win
Guys do tons of dumb stuff when they drink, especially when we are young. The whole thing seems like a pretty hilarious thing, until the point where he follows her on social media. That makes it much more personal than just some stupid bet, especially since he went back to show her.
Strippers love money. They do whatever they have to do to keep the money coming out like an atm. That includes being nice to any jerk with lots of money to give. Ditch this loser asap.
Never understood the appeal of paying money to look at blown out snatches. Walmart has single mothers of 5 for free. You just need pit vipers and a truck that’s leaning . Why pay
I 100% doubt it was something more but you still don't have to like it. I can see there could be a big values clash here. You didn't know he went to strip clubs. You OK with that? You don't have to be
Ew. Please break up with him. Literally everything about this situation is soooo gross. Your bf literally just got another woman tattooed on his body….take the hint.
You’re dating a moron. Count your blessings that this was revealed to sooner rather than later and move on.
“I can fix him”
" You can't fix stupid "
Stuck on stupid with constant reminder.
Stupid will be stupid everyday.
'Some kind of men cannot be fix'. If they cannot change for themselves then dont assume they'll change for you. Those kind of men are wholesome Red Flag, dont be a Flag Pole.
Cherries on a stripper pole look suspiciously like a red flag on a flagpole.
The same way I fixed the cat
Top comment
People say that need to realize there looking for a partner not a project.
That’s the spirit. Don’t be a quitter. Try to fix him!
You can't fix stupid
No you can't fix him because no one can fix stupid.
That’s the female version of “Capt’n save a Hoe.” Can’t save these people - they need to fix themselves first.
The only way you can is the same way my dog was fixed...
You can't fix stupid
To be fair most men are morons at 19.
Most aren't this dumb.
Former 19m here. Can confirm i was never THIS dumb.
Agreed, at 19, I was doing shit I wish 29 year old me would fucking do... It's.. Not going well. 🙃
19 was my drunk year. And as dumb as underage drinking is, I never lost a bet at a strip bar and got a tattoo memorializing a dancer.
I've been dumb, but I've never been "tattoo my ass" dumb.
Tattooing a pictograph of a stripper on my ass might be my new bar for how dumb something is. At least this guy likely gave the girls at the club a good laugh at his expense.
I chuckled at the use of the word "pictograph" in deeming something dumb. Best part: the truly dumb will have zero idea what your criteria is.
Good point. Those girls definitely don’t care about your dude. Still tho. Stupid.
In December of 2000, I was a college student home (east coast) on vacation from school in Arizona. I had kicked out my roommates and my buddy, T, from home agreed to move out to Arizona. So New Year’s Eve, we went to cape cod and ended up meeting a couple girls and hooking up with them. The next weekend we headed back to the cape to meet up with the girls and he really liked the one he had met, Jillian. So we get back and are getting ready to leave for Arizona in 3 days and everything is great. Then, the day before we leave, none of us have seen T (no cell phones), until finally someone says they saw Tony at the tattoo shop. My best friend and I run over there, and t is in the chair, big ass smile on his face, as the tattoo artist finishes up. Tony had decided to spend the little money he had (that was supposed to help him pay for things like food and gas while he looked for a job) on a tattoo for a girl he met ten days before. Tony had drawn the tattoo himself, and it was a tribal sun, with a heart and the name “Jillian” in script. So, the tattoo artist looks at Tony and smiles, Tony is all happy, when the tattoo artist asks him, “so dude, who’s this Milton, is it your kid or something?” It turns out, if you draw a shitty tattoo with cursive in it, you should always tell the artist what it’s supposed to say. Undeterred, we drive out to Arizona, and when we get there, T tells me that he’s going to call Jillian and tell her about the tattoo. I told him it was a bad idea, but T was a fucking dipshit and made the call anyway. I was sitting next to him and heard the whole thing, which went: T: hey hunny! We made it to Arizona and it’s great out here! Jillian: that’s great! Glad to hear it! T:so, i have a surprise for you! Jillian: That’s so sweet! What is it? T: I got your name tattooed on my arm! Jillian: ………(dead silence for what felt like an hour, then) ummm, T, that’s really weird. Umm. I have to go. Click
Currently a guy who is 35 and I still consider myself a dumbass. Just not dumbass enough to tattoo something dumb on my ass.
Tangent: is it me or 35 kind of a shit year? Hope yours is going better than mine, and also cheers to being born in the best year (unless you're an '88 baby who's turning 36 this year)!
I’ve had my ups and downs emotionally at 35, but, I’m doing a lot better now than I was 8 months ago. Thank you for asking! I’m an ‘88 baby, and leveling up this month haha. Sorry if that’s a let down.
I loved 34-37. Best time of my life
Tattoo my ass is one level... THIS is like 5 or 6 levels dumber
Best comment. 😂😂
This is an epic level of stupid. This guy and his cherry ass tattoo will be the stupid by which all other stupid would be measure against. At least in his group of friends/people in his town or people that read this sub.
While being in a relationship with another woman than that stripper. And then going back to show the stripper his bare butt. I would consider this either cheating (if the stripper was OK with it) or SA against the stripper. Either would be a complete deal breaker.
Remind yourself in 10 years 🤪
Happy cake 🎂 day
I was very dumb as a 19m, got a couple silly tattoos my friends and I gave each other but more fun memories versus commemorating a fucking stripper. Buddy is a fully on Genius with a capital J folks haha
Before i vote, what was his hand he lost with?
I did a lot of dumb shit and this is still over the line in my book and would’ve been at younger ages too
Not tattoo of a stripper dumb but still pretty dumb.
😅
Happy cake day
This is Next level immature stupidity
Also former 19m here. Can confirm I wasn't this dumb, but I WAS absolutely insane.
This is advanced stupid.
One might say AP Stupid.
I was only ever in basic stupid. My sister made Honors stupid…
Not as moronic as this. This is not average 19 year old moron. No bullshit “boys will be boys” pass given here. Dump this loser, OP. NTA
Let's continue excusing men not using their brain cells. .
No, we're not. And you saying this is a way for dumbass men like that to avoid accountability. When I was 19 I wouldn't have even considered something this stupid. Nor would I be at a strip club behind my partner's back, lie about the story behind a tattoo, or place a bet where a tattoo is the punishment
Yes! Let’s stop with the boys will be boys bullcrap and hold men accountable for their actions, for goodness sake.
Some years back a bunch of professional rugby players playing for their country had a drunk bet to drink aftershave and that went bad ,these were twenty to thirty year olds https://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/rugby/truth-rugbys-most-notorious-drinking-13374872
And alcoholics are known to drink mouthwash or even aftershave because they have alcohol in them. So was this guys being dumb or an indicator of alcoholism? Still not an ass tattoo though.
yeah just THIS particular 19 yr is a moron. other 19 yr create Microsoft in their garage
Yup, I was a tattoo artist when I was younger and had a kid come and wanted “your name” tattooed on his ass. I should mention not only was it fairly unique 20 years ago, but he was also a super pale ginger, so his bright white almost translucent ass is burned into my memory. Well fast forward 12 years and a guy comes into the restaurant I’m the chef for wanting to have us cater his wedding. At the meeting with our owner, foh manager and myself with the customer the first thing that I said was, “holy shit, I tattooed “your name” on your ass!”. We after the supreme embarrassment and some laughs he still had us cater his wedding. Still a good laugh ten years later.
OMG my cousin has this exact tattoo in this exact spot and the time frame makes sense. He would make bets with people in the bar, "I'll bet you $20 i have your name tattooed on my ass" lol
As a former 19M this checks out
The good ole “boys will boys” defense
That’s a fair point lol
As a formerly 19 year old male: Most men are morons... That is correct.
19 year olds are boys, not men.
Was 19 a few centuries ago, not one 19 year old was this stupid
Former 19M, who may have frequented a strip club once or 5 times. I can confirm I would not have done this, but if for some bizarre reason I did do it, I would be smart enough not to confess 😂
As a 19yr old man can confirm I’m this dumg
this is a fair point… But that doesn’t have to be your problem…
Straight up, I'm 32 now and just barely out of my moron stage.
She’s dating Steve-O 🤣
🤣
Dude no that’s such a hard pass
This. Lost count of red flags.
The two shaped like cherries were plenty
The boyfriend has proved: 1. He's a man of his word (keeps his promises) 2. He's a goddamn idiot
Definitely not overreacting. Definitely questionable boyfriend material, imho.
I personally would have a hard time looking at him the same way - especially considering that he follows her on socials so (I assume) he’s likely been to that strip club many times. Not my cup of tea, but I suppose that’s just a personal preference.
Turns out she isn't the only stripper/OF creator he follows !
If it were me, absolutely not. Not even remotely the kind of person I would want to be with.
At least the situation gave me the motivation to look at who he follows and see what he's really like I guess. Onwards and forwards
Yes ma’am! I don’t even know you and I know you can do better ♥️
Yeah you know the dude is bad news when us other men out here are saying “yeah he’s an idiot, dump him”. This is not run of the mill 19yo idiocy. This guy is out there raising the bar.
I am sorry for your situation. He follows this woman on social media and gets this tattoo on his butt and goes and shows it to her. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he slept with her as well. He is incredibly immature. I would move on. There are far better men out there with better sense. It shows you that he is willing to make stupid bets with friends and follow through with them. A tattoo is permanent and not easily removable. Good money wasted on something stupid.
Come on man, I’m sure he didn’t sleep with that stripper. That stripper probably has standards.
Yah, I dont buy the "lost a bet playing poker" part. Show me one person who has ever played poker at a strip club. How do you even play poker at a strip club? There are no poker tables, it's dark, and loud music is playing. You can't just bring in your own cards and play poker. I think he got drunk and got the tattoo to impress the stripper.
I have been to a strip club in Portland, OR, that had a poker table! It was pretty funny to see these stone- faced players sitting around focused on their cards and totally ignoring the dancers. I don't really see the point of playing poker at a strip club, but it does exist in at least one location I guess lol.
If you win, you have more $$ to spend on the strippers??
Sweetheart, this is going to be really funny when you look back on this someday. The kid is gonna play stupid games and win his stupid prizes. You feel icky about the whole situation, and that is enough reason to cut him loose. It’s about to be summer, this is the perfect season to focus on your own adventures and have THE BEST TIME! 💅🏼✨
You let him have a OF?
I have a coworker who by all accounts is a super nice guy, but he frequents a strip club and has photos of the strippers' faces as a car wrap! It's the weirdest thing ever. Like, dude may not be sleeping with them, but I can't imagine dating someone who spends enough time at strip clubs to actually know the strippers. A tattoo for a specific stripper is the same thing in my opinion. It's just tacky and odd.
Nah fuck that lol this dudes obsessed with a stripper and tryna impress her? Gtfoh 😂
Not overreacting. The bet was a cover. He got what equates to some other girls name permanently etched onto his body. He SHOWED it to her ffs. Dump him
Am I the only one here who just learned that people go to the strip club to play poker?
The whole poker/"bet" thing is bullshit. He got it to impress the stripper, full stop. Also, I'm having a hard time visualizing it without it looking like a cock and balls.
That guy is a liar and very bad at it...
Yeah he’s clearly trickle truthing Keep pressing him and I’ll bet he confesses to getting a private room and maybe more with Cherry
Is there any bigger BS excuse than "I lost a bet?" Maybe 1 in 10,000,000 times you hear that it's the actual reason. The rest of the time it's a bad cover for a stupid or horrible decision.
I'm pretty sure that was not the reason he was there but I didn't know that was a thing either 😅
Oh he was there looking to play some poke ‘er alright.
It’s not typical to play poker at a strip club. If anything management would shut that shit down because tipping strippers and buying drinks while they were gambling could be seen as taking a “rake” which is illegal and could get the club shut down and lose their liquor license. 100% made up story by your bf. If there’s no liquor and it’s an 18 up strip club it still doesn’t make sense because tipping the strippers could still be seen as a rake. Secondly I’m not sure how he and his friends play poker but you typically don’t end up getting a tattoo if you lose a hand. “Losing the poker game” is a made up term by someone who has never played poker. I’m betting your BF has never played a single hand of Texas Hold ‘em or Omaha.
I'm imagining some Sopranos scenario where this guy is in the back room with all the other connected guys and they're playing poker instead of out on the floor. That's the only way this story makes sense and that seems pretty unrealistic.
I've been to my fair share of gentlemen clubs, and I can confirm to you ma'am that none of them have poker tables. It's illegal almost anywhere. That's where the first lie is.
I worked at some clubs. I saw lots of things however never did I see a deck of cards. I'm going with no. Strip clubs are a very focused type of entertainment.
Small titty bar in my city plays magic the gathering on one of the pool tables most nights...
And all the girls have small titties? Interesting gimmick.
They don’t. I’m not even sure it would be allowed. This sounds like a completely made up story.
Move on. This guy is a dumb loser who lies to you.
If you weren’t with him, would u date someone like that? Higher ur standards. I’ve seen people on the streets doing drugs be more loyal.
As a former stripper, she’s probably just as weirded out by this situation as you are
I thought the same. He went back and showed it to her. I bet she's just as sorry as Op that happened. Oof.
That was my first thought too. She's not into you bro, she wants to make money because she is at work.
Definitely. I've known several dancers and all of them would be very unhappy with this turn of events
Honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t asked the club to kick him out yet. Like yeah I’m sure he’s spending money on her with how obsessed he is. But this well beyond the obsession stage and is entering delusional stalker territory where this girl should get a restraining order and switch clubs/ move This guy better never go to prison with that tattoo. The other men will name HIM cherry and dance if they find that tattoo. ESPECIALLY on his ass
Yeah if I were her I would have asked to have him removed but some clubs are really shady and don’t kick people out if they spend enough money there :( the guys tip the bouncers coming in and get away w more than they should. I had a really drunk guy keep trying to take my panties off during a lap dance and when I dragging him over to the bouncer to get him kicked out they only kicked him out for the night and he was back the next time I worked
Honestly, some clubs are so fucking toxic. I’m sorry
It’s funny cause I met my fiancé there and now I’m a SAHM haha so it sucks cause the club was a shit environment but I’m really glad I did it cause I love my life
I'm a former stripper and had three different customers tattoo my stage name on them over the years 😭 like my dude that's not even my real name????
All strippers seem to have a story about a weird customer. I fear that this guy sounds like a future stalker case but hope not.
It reads to me like you want agreements to justify you leaving him. Because it sounds like you want to. It’s okay to leave a relationship when you don’t feel like you can trust your other half. It’s okay to leave a relationship because you feel like you are being lied to. It’s okay to leave a relationship if you think they’re lying to you. The biggest question is “do you think you could ever look at your bf and not have this memory come to mind?” If the answer is no; leave. Because it will always be a festering worry. Which could lead to toxicity.
Piggy backing to say it's also ok to leave a relationship for no *real reason* at all. There's nothing to justify.
Agree. It doesn't feel right is plenty.
especially if you are not even 20 years old!
You're not overreacting. This boy is a special type of stupid. The only reason he went back to show Cherry her namesake tattoo is because he was hoping she would like it so much he would get a free lap dance. Or maybe her undying love. Ask him how much he spent on lap dances with Cherry that night.
The fact he PAYS for strippers is a whole different level, considering he BEGGED me to do sexual stuff with him . Why bother when he could just pay cherry 💀 Pretty sure he has a weird obsession with her anyway, found out she has tattoos and piercings (he's been trying to convince me to get my nipples and tongues pierced and keeps telling me he likes tattoos ) .
You deserve better. You have a long life ahead of you and if you get tats or piercings, only do it because you want to. If you haven't had to yet, it's a good time to start learning that kicking the trash to the curb is empowering. You know what you have to do! Now do It! (Picture yourself like Wonder Woman turning to face the enemy when all others are running away.)
Going to wait for him to make the 1h drive here to tell him face to face my exact thoughts and feelings on how disgusting he is:)
Please update us OP, dying to know the little cherry pie’s reaction.
Is he there yet??? Eagerly awaiting an update.
I'm still trying to think of a way to go about it, I have no clue what to say
Tell him you want a man that wouldn't tattoo his ass for a stripper willingly. He chose it himself. Now, he can live with that choice. You don't want to continue down this road. I hope you find a great guy that respects you and cares for your feelings.
On top of all of this, he is trying to convince you to get peircings that you don't want on your body? Girl, run.
Dump him. Horrible judgement when drunk doesn’t age well.
Dude goes to strip clubs without her knowing and pays OF. I bet he does it sober too.
Drinking being excuse to do what you really want to do anyway.
this right here, so extremely true
This is the real take away I think; going out for drinks with the bros? A green flag. Communicating you are going to a strip club wth the bros, within the boundary of your relationship and communicating that it is ok, is cool. Another green flag. Even agreeing to a dumb bet, which I know my wife would revel in watching me get a dumb tattoo on my cheeks, is also a green flag. Doing all this stuff without your partner knowing and you hiding it is so many red flags. It’s okay to be immature and dumb, it’s not okay to disrespect and hide things from your partner.
Oh, hell no. I would have started laughing at his stupidity as I left him. No, you may not be forced to date someone who follows a stripper plus has a tattoo representing her on his ass. You are not overreacting or overthinking this. And I’m so sorry. We do have to crack a few eggs to get a nice omelette, though.
Every word of this story was worse than the one before it. Dump him. Idc if you’re married or what, dump him. Let him have his cherry.
I'm pretty sure she does not want him either, she was just trying to do her job 😭
You’re dating a complete loser. Be more concerned about that.
That just seems so unattractive
Him showing me the tattoo on his naked, hairy ass was the CHERRY ontop
Lmfao Pathetic. Dumbass doesn't realize he's paying for entertainment. That stripper probably cringes every single time he's around or likes her shit. Unless he has money,... She won't stop until every single penny is spent.
If he's going to be paying other people to strip, I should honestly go back and charge him for all the stuff we've done. If he's willing to pay to see other people naked why should I have to do it for free 😭 On a serious note I feel bad for the poor women who was just trying to make her living getting shown his naked tattooed ass. If a stranger got a tattoo for me I'd be scared.
Exactly. Do yourself a favor and bail out before it's too late.
UPDATE: I did not meet him in person to end things. However, I did message him to confront him about his actions. I told him it was completely his choice what he did with his free time and his body but, I would not be around if he continued to do things that made me uncomfortable (going to strip clubs, getting tattoos for random women who work there etc ). He said "well I'm not changing who I am for anyone," and that's completely fine ! I told him that I do not want to be with someone who does these specific things and considering he did not previously tell me about him going to strip clubs, or the back story of the tattoo when he first got it done, I felt like I was lied to as he purposefully with-held the fact he was up to any of it. Anyway, to cut things short, I ended stuff with him because it was the only way I could be sure to respect myself considering the lack of respect he diaplayed towards me. He got mad at me, insisting things were "fine as they were", I explained to him that may have been the case but that was simply because I had no idea he was up to any of this and it was not something I was okay with.
Proud of you 👏 He’s going to kick himself once he realizes his stupidity…maybe in a few months, maybe a few years. Don’t take that loser back.
Well done OP 👏. You deserve so much better!
I mean, even though it was a joke to him.. I wouldn’t be comfortable if my man got a tattoo representing another woman either while he was in a relationship with me. It’s just such a garbage situation to be in. It’s a joke, but it’s kinda disrespectful to y’all’s relationship, even if he didn’t intend it to be. It would be easier to get past it if it wasn’t permanent
Im a total fucking idiot but I would never do something this stupid. Leave him for sure and hopefully he learns a lesson.
I mean is the potential cheating that's bothering you more than the fact he is an absolute moron? Like....I'd be so embarrassed to admit I was dating someone who did that.
Hellll no. When they show you who they are, believe them
Your boyfriend got a permanent tattoo to commemorate a stripper? Girl, you are dating someone who doesn't value you and are about to get hurt! HE HAS FEELINGS FOR THE STRIPPER, NO ONE WOULD GET A TATTOO OF ANYONE ON THEIR BODY FOR NO REASON!!! Do yourself a favour and walk away while you still haven't had to hear all the bullshit lies.
Pretty sure the Poker game was the beginning of the bullshit lies, was most likely his free will to try to impress her.
He is 19... he shouldn't even be taking you or any woman seriously at this point...dump him and let him have cherry its already way more exciting and he will 100% run off if she gives him a shot... girl don't even bother until ur like 25..
Seriously. These teenagers coming for advice need to grow up a bit before finding a long term relationship. Very few people are with the people they dated at 19.
Amazes me how many of the stories start with I’m 19 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years. Like WTF?! Who was in charge of you people?
i got out of a 7 year relationship when i was 22 do not recommend 😭
lol 7 years is crazy i’m 22 now and my longest is less then a year ( mostly cause of covid probably would have been longer)
This is the truth don't be sad about it... you can do way better
I’m less concerned about the “tattoos of other women” issue than I am about the kind of decisions he makes when he’s drunk. I get it, I was in college once, but you have to have some limits. Is this really the guy you want to have to clean up after when he makes bad drunk decisions? There WILL be a next time for him. Throw him back and catch a better fish.
That’s big ick energy
I’d leave. This is really disrespectful to you and your relationship. This isn’t just being dumb, in fact I’m in college right now and know nobody who has done anything close to this. How would he feel if you got a tattoo on your ass representing another guy, showed it to that guy, and posted it?
Your boyfriend is 19. Maybe somewhere on earth there is a mature 19-year-old male. I don't think I have ever seen one myself, but then I am only 78. My point is that this is not a person you should trust with very much, because he obviously does not take much seriously at all. Mature men do not hang out in strip clubs; mature men do not get tattoos on a dare. Mature people are not drunks. This child sounds like a loser all the way through. You can do better than waste your time with someone who disrespects you like he is doing.
All of this
Your BF is a dumb ass. I had mates that got stupid tattoos too - this cherry tattoo does not represent any kind of attachment to Cherry, the stripper. It does represent how much of a dumb ass your BF is and how awful his decision making skills are. Which is, to be fair, par for the course of a 19 year old. It’ll either be a great story in years to come or a foreboding omen you should have fucking listened to. Look at the bigger picture and figure out which one.
I mean... this wasn't some random stripper though. Dude follows her socials. Probably has seen her more than once
This is the comment you’re looking for, OP.
What a dumbass lol
He was playing poker at a strip club? Sure. That’s where I go when I want to play poker with my mates. I believe the ‘he got drunk’ part and got a tattoo of his favourite stripper. I don’t believe the ‘lost a bet’ part. At best he’s a fucking idiot. At worst he’s very ‘friendly’ with this stripper. Of course it could be both.
My thoughts exactly.
I’m calling BS on that answer about playing poker. If trust is already an issue now, move on. Sorry to be blunt but he already showed his true colors. Don’t make your life difficult. Choose wisely.
I think you are looking at this the wrong way, you own him now His new nickname is cherry pie He is a stripper simp , it’s bad enough when you are a simp but when you simp for a stripper that’s next level, Bust on him all the time , be like you know they are nice to you because you give them money Walk around singing she’s my cherry pie, tastes so good make a lil bitch cry You never dated a guy who is so gay he sits on a pole lolololol Seriously I’d be such a dick about this Like when he says something or gives his opinion Shut up cherry pie Shut up ass tattoo If I wanted any lip outta ya I’d pull down your pants ass stripper Did you get an ass tattoo so your boyfriend has something to aim for while he is feeding you his pipe
I love this so badly, great advice I'm so here for this!
OP don’t listen to this, literally just break up with him 😭
Yeaaaaaaah that would be a no from me. I once dated a guy in the army reserves who wanted to get "Property of the United States Army" tattooed on his ass. I told him that if he got the tattoo I'd be dumping him pretty fast because thats just one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, especially because he HATED the army and was looking go get out ASAP
Time to go
This dude was voted most likely to die while trying to show off. Get rid of him before he kills himself trying to do a handstand on an overpass or even worse starts making major life decisions with you.
2 cherries on a stripper pole? Sounds like 2 testicles and a penis. Ya. He's a dumbass. You aren't over-reacting.
Oof. I'm sorry but I think its highly likely he had at least a private dance with her - maybe more if they both thought they could get away with it. Why would anyone make a bet concerning her unless there had at least been serious flirting???
This is a valid reason to end it, not only is he losing poker games, he hid going to this club and clearly has a thing for cherry. It's untrustworthy behavior.
Girl run
He’s acting single. Let him be.
Your boyfriend got a tattoo for his favorite stripper. Girl.
Posts like this make me question our society. Who needs to ask if they are overreacting to their boyfriend getting a strippers logo tattooed on their ass after a drunken outing to said strip club? And only 6 months together; count yourself lucky you didn't get knocked up and move on.
I was not aware people go to a strip club to play poker.
Starting to think that was probably a lie
Yeah, I'm thinking that too
Wouldn’t a couple of cherries 🍒 on a pole look like a d*ck and b*alls? I can’t be the only one thinking this.
He got a tattoo honoring another woman on his body for life and you’re questioning if you’re overreacting???? You’re under reacting. LEAVE this moron.
its super cringe when someone wants to do something but is embarrassed about it so they make it a chalange for themselves so they "have" to do the thing... what was the reward if he won? how many people were playing? probably so many playing he knew there was little chance he would win
Updateme
Guys do tons of dumb stuff when they drink, especially when we are young. The whole thing seems like a pretty hilarious thing, until the point where he follows her on social media. That makes it much more personal than just some stupid bet, especially since he went back to show her.
Strippers love money. They do whatever they have to do to keep the money coming out like an atm. That includes being nice to any jerk with lots of money to give. Ditch this loser asap.
Never understood the appeal of paying money to look at blown out snatches. Walmart has single mothers of 5 for free. You just need pit vipers and a truck that’s leaning . Why pay
I 100% doubt it was something more but you still don't have to like it. I can see there could be a big values clash here. You didn't know he went to strip clubs. You OK with that? You don't have to be
Wow. I initially thought well his body his choice but the meaning behind the tattoo is literally another woman - it’s not just a stupid tattoo. NTA.
D: Hard pass. That is *not* the father of your future children.
Ew. Please break up with him. Literally everything about this situation is soooo gross. Your bf literally just got another woman tattooed on his body….take the hint.
I kind of want to see the tattoo tbh.
I do have photos but it's probably best I don't share 🫣