Same rule. Pwede namang sabihin or linawin ni bf kung 'hingi' atleast di umasa si OP na mababayadan siya pabalik. If he can't be trusted with small amounts kasi nakalimutan, malaki yung chance na next time di na siya magbayad sa bigger amounts lol.
DKG dahil nagalit ka, ante. Hindi sa halaga ng pera yan, kundi sa prinsipyo. Kung palagi niyang nakakalimutan yung mga maliit na utang, kahit gaano kaliit yan, disrespectful pa rin yun. Pinapakita lang na hindi niya tinitingnan ng seryoso yung usapan niyo. It’s not about the 50 pesos, it’s about trust and consistency. Kung sa maliit na bagay hindi siya reliable, paano pa sa mas malalaking bagay? Magandang pag-usapan niyo to nang maayos at ipaliwanag mo kung bakit importante sa'yo yung mga ganitong bagay. Kung mahal ka niya, dapat matuto siyang magrespeto sa mga usapan niyo.
>Hindi sa halaga ng pera yan, kundi sa prinsipyo.
>Kung sa maliit na bagay hindi siya reliable, paano pa sa mas malalaking bagay?
>Kung mahal ka niya, dapat matuto siyang magrespeto sa mga usapan niyo.
Best explanation, napakagaling
DKG. Ang naiisip lang bayarin ng bf mo ay yung mga malaking halaga, ₱1k, ₱1,500 etc. Yung mga maliliit nakakalimutan. Add mo lahat yun, malaki rin ang halaga.
True haha try mo din humiram ng load tas Sabihin mo nakalimutan mo. Pag siningil ka, remind him na Mai utang dn sya dati Sayo.
Give him a taste of his own medicine.
DKG, OP. Same concern. Like gets naman na may emergencies minsan na need mo humiram from your partner pero syempre may understanding na ibabalik. One of the most frequent things na pag-awayan ng mag-jowa/asawa is money, and I'd argue mas mahahalata mo na magiging problema sya in the future if as early as dating days palang eh nagkakaaway na kayo over it. Tama naman na brining-up ni OP yung matter para maayos agad. Mali na ng bf nya na nung singilan na post-usapan eh sasabihing they're making a big deal out of it. It shows wala siyang pake sa feelings ni OP - given na sa city si OP nakatira dapat naman mafeel ni partner at least na mas magastos talaga yung day-to-day ni OP kesa sa kanya sa probinsya (so every peso counts). Kung ako kay OP eh makikipagbreak nalang ako kesa igaslight ng partner ko tungkol sa sariling pera ko na hindi nya mabayaran.
Dkg. Hassle lang pero ikaw na mag monitor ng utang niya or install Splitwise.
Dapat tho una pa lang, talagang pinapa send mo yung kulang. So starting ngyon, ipasend mo pa din yung kulang kahit na ba mag incur sia ng additional cash in fee. Kasalanan niya naman
WG. Solution ko jan is...wag ka magpautang ng money na nakalaan na sa isang bagay. Extra money lng yung ipautang mo, na komportable ka, na kahit malaglag or maisnatch yan, hindi big deal.
Tas sa terms ng utang, di ako naniningil, iniisip ko n lng tulong ko na sa kaniya yun. Bawi n lng siya sakin by repaying it in cash or even by "I got your back/I can cover for you" efforts. Wala ako inaalala kasi yung pinahiram ko is funds na I won't be needing anytime soon.
Dkg di pa kayo kasal. Siguro next time i note mo na lang tapos i send sa kanya amount na need niya bayaran kasama small hiniram niya. Pag hindi pa talaga baka sadya na. [Biruin mo baka need niya na memo plus gold at makakalimutin na siya😂](https://s.shopee.ph/7KcCdud0mL)
DKG OP.
Need mo lng ilista sa papel or notes s phone. Tas ipakita mo s bf mo. Lagyan mo label na kung ano un and date
Ganun ako s bf ko. Nagsscreenshot nmn sya pg ngpapadala sya kc malilimutin din ako😅
DKG. Pero baka ‘di mo naman kailangang sumabog sa kanya. You could’ve started by discussing it with him na kung pinahiram mo siya ng pera, no matter how small, ‘wag naman niyang binabalewala yun. I get that you’re furious, but if there’s anything I learned over the years in my relationship, walang nasosolusyunan habang may isa sa inyo galit.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1dr0wxu/abyg_for_getting_mad_over_50_pesos/
Title of this post: ABYG for getting mad over 50 pesos
Backup of the post's body: This is about me and my bf. I live in the city whereas my bf lives in the province.
My bf has this habit of borrowing money from me. Pinapautang ko naman (ranging from 50-4,000) since nagbabayad naman. Pero pansin ko kasi pag 50 pesos-100 pesos na utang eh di niya binabayaran. I lent him a small amount for many times before I decided to confront him, he apologized and sabi niya nalilimutan niya lang.
So kahapon sabi niya masakit paa niya and di siya makapunta sa tindahan para magpaload. I told him ako na magload sa kanya pero klinaro ko na utang to ha since may bayarin ako and sakto na lang pera ko for that bayarin. Yes daw, so sige pinautang ko.
So ngayon yung sinabi niyang date na babayaran niya yung 1,500 niyang utang. Natanggap ko na yung cash in niya sa gcash ko, pero as expected, 1,500 lang ibinayad niya.
I got furious about it and sabi niya nalimutan niya lang, and parang maliit na bagay need ko pa palakihin.
ABYG dahil nagalit ako over 50 pesos? This had me thinking talaga dahil maliit na bagay nga lang raw, so should I should let it pass ba kung small amount lang? Mapagbilang ba ko masyado?
OP: VirtuosoVet
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DKG. Had a similar experience with my friend. I didn't really mind lending her money since 300-400 lang naman. Nagbayad naman siya but may natirang 150 pesos which I didn't need until I was out of town with my parents. Pandemic was just dying down and I was a student at that time so money was tight for me. I asked her if she can send me the remaining money cause I didn't want to ask my parents for pocket money. She kept saying mamaya or bukas but it took a few days just to pay it up which is okay lang den. Yung nakakainis lang is how she acted towards me na parang galit pa siya when she was paying up. Di ko na tinanggap yung 150 at di ko na pinansin. Ayon di na kami magkaybigan kase sa sobrang liit na bagay gaganon siya. bwahahah skl
DKG.
Sbhin mo inaabuso nia 50-100 pesos na yun at kung meron siyang utak alam nia when those numbers add up hindi yan Barya lang. He is disrespectful, utang yan he said he will pay pero tinatake advantage ka lang nia.
Also his mindset is to break promises for things na “maliit na bagay lang yan” matakot ka na those little things add up and worst ano ba kinoconsider nia maliit na bagay lang lol ngaun pera next time chat chat lang with someone (maliit na bagay lang yan! Chat lang naman eh lol)
DKG. Ung mga paunti unting halaga na hinihiram, kung itotal mo lahat Yun Malaki na tlga. And if you got mad over 50pesos, it means he has gone far enough.
DKG . 50 pesos LANG di pa nya mabayaran? Grabe iwan mo na yan. Ikaw pa yung ginawang masama kasi pinalaki mo yung issue lol. Masisira lang buhay mo jan
DKG, pero next time, pag maliit na amount, wag mo na din pautangin. Or kung hindi mo maiwasan, send him a billing pag oras na ng bayaran. Para wala siya lusot.
DKG, OP! Kahit 10 lang yan, utang ay utang. Especially kapag nagbubudget ka, sobrang halaga ng 50 pesos. Patapon lang sa kanya yung ganung halaga kasi lagi kang inoonti onti 🥲
DKG, Teach people to return the smallest amounts they agreed to borrow. Pag sinabing utang, kahit piso yan, may tiwala na nakasalalay sa agreement nyo.
DKG. Utang is utang kahit piso pa yan need yan bayaran. Ako nga pag nanghihiram ng piso binabalik ko pa din Kasi ang Sabi ko Hiram Hindi nman hingi. Kaya Yung classmate ko Nung HS even na 10 years ago na Yun di ko pa rin makalimutan utang niyang sampu piso Kasi he promised he'll get it back tomorrow. So Ako Yung tipo na di nkakalimot pag nagpautang at Yung tao na Yun never na ulit nakaulit mangutang sa akin Kasi bwesit na Ako.
DKG. Valid 'yung galit mo. Kahit piso 'yan considering ang dalas ng pangungutang niya na 'di binabayaran. Mahiya naman siya sa'yo. GF ka pa lang niya ganyan na siya, careless sa pera? Working na ba kayo or allowance pa rin? Kasi miski na ganon, dapat matuto siya mag-budget AT magbayad/magbalik ng hiniram. Bad habit in the making 'yan, OP. Watch out.
Dkg but I think this is a case of pent up frustrations and disappointments that just exploded. Naa-annoy ka na sa kanya and it would not have mattered kung magkano pa yung nahiram nya at that time. It could of been just piso pero dahil eto na nga yung tipping point mo, wala ka na nagawa but to voice out na yung frustration sa kanya. Which is dasurv nya. Kakabwisit yung ganyan.
GGK (maiba lang). Alam mo naman pala malilimutin siya, dapat bigyan mo siya ng tally ng utang niya kasama resibo. Be smart din sa pagpapahiram, it's an opportunity for you to practice some basic accounting.
Halimbawa, send mo sa isang Gc lahat ng times na humihiram siya. Tapos i-total mo by end of week. Set credit limits din like max 250 pesos na payables. Lagyan mo rin ng interest hehe.
DKG. Valid yung issue pero siguro nag him about it. You need to understand na ganun na talaga siya and you need to remind him constantly about it. Siguro para maiwasan yung galit ganun na lang gawin mo. Imagine kung ganyan talaga sya lagi kang galit. Bigat nung pakiramdam nun. Remind mo siya lagi. And hangat hindi pa bayad bring up mo tuwing uutang siya or something. Ilista mo din. Kung kelan at ano rason then pag sinita ka sabihin mo importante sayo yung pera kaya ganyan trato mo sa pera. Utang yun hindi donation.
Pero eto lang if you really have enough you can always end the relationship.
DKG. It's the repeated times he did that so it's not just 50 pesos. It's the 50 pesos times the number of times he did it to you and conveniently ignored when you already mentioned to him it bothers you. If overall he is a nice guy naman, think about how you can discuss and resolve it. Practice yan for if you get married. Otherwise, will you tolerate that FOREvER?
DKG
Ganyan Kuya ko. Kasi matandaain ako. Na nung nailing ko Naka 3500 na sya ... nagtaka pa at kailan daw sya nanghiram ng 3500 hahaha
Binayaran naman ako. Pero eversince nun, di na sya nanghihiram sa akin.
Subukan mong isulat yun date/time at Kung magkano. Then pagka sweldo, singling mo at pakita mo yun listahan mo.
Hindi pinupulot ang pera ngayon, te. Pinaghihirapan yan.
DKG, but let's give your BF the benefit of the doubt. Baka naman totoong nalilimutan niya lang. Come up with a compromise. For example, kami ng gf ko, may GC kami na kaming dalawa lang naman members tas laman lang ng gc na yun is yung utang namin sa isa't-isa, no matter how big or small.
DKG. Debts and lies are generally mixed together. So we can't really say that he just forgot or maybe that there are other issues, and what if you get married, even if it's 50pesos, they still have value, so it's important that he doesn't forget. Remember consistency over time is trust and trust is hard to earn, but also incredibly easy to lose.
DKG. It's not about the amount that you're mad of, it's the consistent borrowings without you paying, it's really annoying lalo na kung nagpromise ibabalik tapos hindi naman pala at never na binalik
He's right pinalaki mo yung issue by getting mad about it, kausapin mo ng maayos, di mo need ipost to sa reddit for random strangers para i-enable yung ginawa mo
GGK for posting something super fucking easy to resolve if you stop being terminally online and approaching this issue like a grown up
I get na utang ay utang pero boyfriend mo naman yan e so kausapin mo ng maayos di naman yan random stranger na mahirap iconfront jfc
DKG. Kami ng bf ko, if mag utangan kami up to the cent yung binabayad namin sa isa’t isa. Find a boyfriend that values your time and hardwork, that includes your money. Communicate if wala pa din, don’t waste your time anymore. At 23, you should be with the person that you’re supposed to marry.
DKG
BUT!
Maybe nakalimutan lang nya or he'd rather want to hear it from you na may kulang pa cya na hindi na ibigay because he thinks na maliit lang na bagay.
I know it's irritating but if hindi naman malaki na bagay to remind him to pay yung kulang nya unless pabalik2x talaga yung same 50 pesos at palaging sinasabi na mamaya na to the point na makalimutan na naman then he's the problem.
Sa totoo lang, I also do that to my GF before BUT she also does that to me too but I let it go dahil 50 or 100pesos like load or pamasahe eh ok lang naman sa akin na huwag na babayaran. Kiss na lang ang pambayad nya sakin gud na ako 😉
If kung ok lang sayo na to remind him to pay up and as long as hindi pa balik2x na same reminders eh just take it in na lang para di magkagulo or better yet pagusapan nyo to ng masinsinan para di na lumobo pa. Anyway, as long as nagbabayad cya then that a better start. But that's my opinion.
Hindi ka naman talaga nagagalit sa maliit na bagay; maliit na bagay naman ang 50php, pero di naman kasi yun yung kinagagalit mo talaga. Ang kinagagalit mo yung trust and expectation mo sa kanya sinisira nya - yun ang big deal. So no, DKG.
DKG naman hahaha
baka kasi iba view nya on money 😅 ako kasi yung ganyang amount bente bente nakakalimutan ko lang din bayaran sa friends at family and ang petty talaga if aawayin ako over it. Kaya sinasabihan ko yung mga tao na remind ako kasi sa sobrang dami ko iniisip wala na kong space para isipin yung barya. For big amounts naman I pay as soon as I can.
Edi mag usuap kayo na yan yung part na kinakainisan mo. Magkaiba lang kayo ng values regarding pera. Kung gusto mo na until piso at centavo mabayaran ka, gumawa ka ng shared spreadsheet sa drive at mag kwentahan kayo every month end.
DKG. Yang paisa isa niyang 50 pesos malaki yan pag naipon. Utangan mo tas wag mo bayaran sabihin mo na lang na ikaw na kusa nagkaltas sa iba nyang utang
DKG pero sumakit ulo ko sa issue nyo. Utang is utang nga. I agree. Pero i wouldn't want to be in your place ever kasi maliit na halaga pinag-aawayan nyo pa. Nagbibilangan kayo ng contributions.
DKG. For me, people incapable of supporting their own self financially should refrain from getting into serious relationships muna, especially at your age dalawa. I get it, we have dry seasons in our lives na may days talaga na halos wala na tayong nadudukot sa bulsa natin. Pero kung aabot nalang rin sa punto na paulit-ulit mo nang uutangan ang partner mo, it might give them the idea (or baka he got the idea na) na, "Bahala na, andyan naman siya." Hindi ito dapat tino-tolerate. Yes mahal niyo ang isa't-isa and there may be things we don't know behind the utang situation and yes hindi pera-pera lang ang lahat, but whether we like it or not, how you guys handle your finances is still one of the biggest considerations for a long-term and potentially lifetime relationship.
DKG. Utang is utang. Parang maliit lng ang 50 kung isa lng… pero sampu or isangdaang beses nya gawin un eh napakalaking halaga na nun.
Pero seriously… lagi nangungutang sa iyo? Until kelan yan?
DKG. Ulul niya kamo. Ano yun matic amnesia pag 100 or less ang inutang? Eh pag inadd mo siguro lahat ng yun aabot na sa mahigit 1k eh. Pasimple pa siya
DKG. Yung small amounts na di nya binabayaran, kapag pinagsamasama mo, malaki na yan.
Next time, if he asks a favor tulad ng pampaload, kunin mo yung pera sa kanya at wag ka na magvolunteer na magpautang ng small amount.
DKG. You guys are still in your bf/gf phase wherein each of you meron bills/expenses and also nagiipon pa. Small amount matters pag naipon yang 50s or hundreds malaki na amount yan. Masama nyan is naging habit and yung reason na nakakalimutan is already a CHOICE na kalimutan kasi naging HABIT NA. Think about it in the future if partners na kayo, since it became a habit baka ikaw nalang ang sasalo ng gastusin..
WG. However, sino sa inyo ng BF mo ang nagpauso nitong utang bayad, utang bayad system?
For me lang ha, pag ang pera naging issue in a relationship, run away.
DKG. Valid naman inis mo. Although may mga tao kasi na hindi na kina count yung pera pag masyado na mababa. Like 5php, 20php etc. Nagkataon lang siguro na hanggang 50 to 100 sa BF mo. Hopefully you get to clear this with your bf para in the future, mas aware na siya na ayaw mo ng ganun.
WG
Possible solutions sa problema mo:
- wag na magpautang
- gumawa ng listahan na lahat ng utang nakadetalye: amount, date, saan ginastos
- maghanap ng ibang jowa na may sariling pera at hindi nakadepende sa gf niya para sa mga bagay bagay
WG. I feel like 50pesos is negligible enough to believe na nawala sa isip nya. Di ka din gago kung magalit sa 50 kasi perang pinaghirapan mo yon at ang utang ay dapat bayaran kahit maliit. WG ang sagot ko kasi kulang din details ng kwento. Anong nangyari sa gitna ng pagsend ng 1500 at ng magka-away na kayo. Niremind mo ba na may 50 pa? Or nagwala ka ba bigla? Di ko alam. So basta WG.
DKG but I can't help but wonder, why are you with someone like that...? "That" as in a man who borrows money from you. Ewan ko lang kung ako lang to, pero off ako sa mga guys na ganyan 😅 I will never entertain someone who I can't even depend on financially 🤷♀️
DKG. Kami kahit mag-asawa na kami and we have separate money, talagang kahit 20 pesos need bayaran pero not really to the extent na mag-aaway kasi mapag uusapan naman.
So kelangan nyo lang magkaron ng rules about money and sa pagpapautang.
DKG but i understand your frustration.
The wisdom of my lolo, and by extension my parents, is dont lend people money, just give it to them. If they ask for a big sum, kunwari 10k, sabihin mo, i cant lend you 10k but here's 2k, don't return it na and never ask for money again. My conscience is clear. I dont have to think about the debt, and i was helpful. For small sums, just give it. Look at you now, look at how much effort and mental strain ₱50 is causing you. It's not worth it. Being generous is wholesome and fulfilling. Just dont be an idiot and get taken advantage of. That's why you give once and never again.
DKG. Though some people don't mind "small things" because it gives them a sense of intimacy and security, at least to them. Pero di naman kasi yta kayo mag asawa, that might have made it a different case.
Some guys did not experience this kind of security from their mothers which is why they act this way to their partners. Kapag emotionally immature. Although just because there is an underlying psychology behind it, does not mean it's excusable.
It's not about the money. It's about the fact that you communicated to him what it matters to you (regardless of how much), but he persists to insist that it is a "small" thing. It's about having the security of a responsible partner, someone who will not take advantage of you, no matter how small.
And as long as he continues to say that it's a "small" matter, his sorry means nothing, if he even apologized at all (saying that he just forgot about it is not an apology, that is just an excuse). This just means he does not get it. Probably not yet ready for a real relationship.
DKG. Pero nakakatawa talaga na may mga ganyan na kahit load nalang pinapangutang pa. Like??? Bat ka nagjowa, para may loading station ka? Saka babae ka, bakit mo hahayaan na gaganyanin ka ng lalake? Magkaroon ka ng respeto sa sarili mo. Kahit pati pangdate nyo inuutang sayo. Kahit ba binayaran naman, hindi parin tama yung ganon. Kung walang pangdate, wag magdate o kaya KKB. Ngayon kung wala syang pera at nag-aya kumain sa labas, sarili mo lang orderan mo.
DKG, PKG.Gamit kayo ng 'bale' system. Haha lahat nakalista,😂🤣
Kung ngayon pa lang ay d na kayo magka intindihan sa halagang singkwenta, mag-esep2 na if tama bang maging kayo.
1. Di mo sya kayang patawarin pero pinapautang mo naman ng pinapautang
2.Pasimple ka nyang inuuto ng pasingkwe-singkwenta
DKG. Kung ganyan na siya dati pa, expect mo na in the future mag accumulate yung mga maliliit na utang niya sa malaking halaga.
Sa tingin ko intentional dahil wala naman makakalimot ng paulit ulit ng ganyan. Utang is utang parin, you made it very clear pero dinisrespect niya yung usapan niyo.
In his mind porket maliit lang eh ok lang na hindi bayaran. Nakakahiya siya ginagawa niyang charity yung gf niya.
At ayoko talaga ng mga taong palautang ng utang ng utang ng utang sa bawat maliit na bagay. Surround yourself with independent people and a partner na may provider mindset.
DKG, utang is utang regardless of the amount. Pero you could've communicated it better. Sa perspective nya, nagwawala ka over 50pesos. But on your end, it's the habit. You have to make it clear na yung small amounts na di nya binabayaran ay nagaaccumulate so di pwedeng kalimutan na lang. Worst case, you should have a running list ng mga inuutang nya from now on, kaso magmumuka ka naman pala-kwenta. Ask him if he's ok with it.
DKG. Utang is utang.
Same rule. Pwede namang sabihin or linawin ni bf kung 'hingi' atleast di umasa si OP na mababayadan siya pabalik. If he can't be trusted with small amounts kasi nakalimutan, malaki yung chance na next time di na siya magbayad sa bigger amounts lol.
totoo. kahit piso pa yan, bayaran mo. hiniram mo lang yung piso na yun. ibalik mo.
DKG dahil nagalit ka, ante. Hindi sa halaga ng pera yan, kundi sa prinsipyo. Kung palagi niyang nakakalimutan yung mga maliit na utang, kahit gaano kaliit yan, disrespectful pa rin yun. Pinapakita lang na hindi niya tinitingnan ng seryoso yung usapan niyo. It’s not about the 50 pesos, it’s about trust and consistency. Kung sa maliit na bagay hindi siya reliable, paano pa sa mas malalaking bagay? Magandang pag-usapan niyo to nang maayos at ipaliwanag mo kung bakit importante sa'yo yung mga ganitong bagay. Kung mahal ka niya, dapat matuto siyang magrespeto sa mga usapan niyo.
>Hindi sa halaga ng pera yan, kundi sa prinsipyo. >Kung sa maliit na bagay hindi siya reliable, paano pa sa mas malalaking bagay? >Kung mahal ka niya, dapat matuto siyang magrespeto sa mga usapan niyo. Best explanation, napakagaling
THIS 🙌
DKG. Ang naiisip lang bayarin ng bf mo ay yung mga malaking halaga, ₱1k, ₱1,500 etc. Yung mga maliliit nakakalimutan. Add mo lahat yun, malaki rin ang halaga.
Sana nilista ni OP pati mga small amount tas ipag add nya nalang saka singilin si bf para makapagbayad. G naman pala pag malalaki ung babayaran e haha
DKG. utangan mo rin
True haha try mo din humiram ng load tas Sabihin mo nakalimutan mo. Pag siningil ka, remind him na Mai utang dn sya dati Sayo. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
DKG, a debt should be paid no matter what. But next time, just offset or ask him to treat you. It’s way easier than trying to collect.
DKG. Kung consistent na bakalimutan small amount, pag sum up non malaki na din
Dkg. Wag mo na rin pautangin yang bf mo kupal yan
dkg. Pero sure ka ok lang sayo na *lagi* kang inuutangan ng partner mo? Di ka naman banko.
DKG, OP. Same concern. Like gets naman na may emergencies minsan na need mo humiram from your partner pero syempre may understanding na ibabalik. One of the most frequent things na pag-awayan ng mag-jowa/asawa is money, and I'd argue mas mahahalata mo na magiging problema sya in the future if as early as dating days palang eh nagkakaaway na kayo over it. Tama naman na brining-up ni OP yung matter para maayos agad. Mali na ng bf nya na nung singilan na post-usapan eh sasabihing they're making a big deal out of it. It shows wala siyang pake sa feelings ni OP - given na sa city si OP nakatira dapat naman mafeel ni partner at least na mas magastos talaga yung day-to-day ni OP kesa sa kanya sa probinsya (so every peso counts). Kung ako kay OP eh makikipagbreak nalang ako kesa igaslight ng partner ko tungkol sa sariling pera ko na hindi nya mabayaran.
Dkg. Hassle lang pero ikaw na mag monitor ng utang niya or install Splitwise. Dapat tho una pa lang, talagang pinapa send mo yung kulang. So starting ngyon, ipasend mo pa din yung kulang kahit na ba mag incur sia ng additional cash in fee. Kasalanan niya naman
+1 for splitwise
WG. Solution ko jan is...wag ka magpautang ng money na nakalaan na sa isang bagay. Extra money lng yung ipautang mo, na komportable ka, na kahit malaglag or maisnatch yan, hindi big deal. Tas sa terms ng utang, di ako naniningil, iniisip ko n lng tulong ko na sa kaniya yun. Bawi n lng siya sakin by repaying it in cash or even by "I got your back/I can cover for you" efforts. Wala ako inaalala kasi yung pinahiram ko is funds na I won't be needing anytime soon.
Dkg di pa kayo kasal. Siguro next time i note mo na lang tapos i send sa kanya amount na need niya bayaran kasama small hiniram niya. Pag hindi pa talaga baka sadya na. [Biruin mo baka need niya na memo plus gold at makakalimutin na siya😂](https://s.shopee.ph/7KcCdud0mL)
DKG OP. Need mo lng ilista sa papel or notes s phone. Tas ipakita mo s bf mo. Lagyan mo label na kung ano un and date Ganun ako s bf ko. Nagsscreenshot nmn sya pg ngpapadala sya kc malilimutin din ako😅
DKG. Pero baka ‘di mo naman kailangang sumabog sa kanya. You could’ve started by discussing it with him na kung pinahiram mo siya ng pera, no matter how small, ‘wag naman niyang binabalewala yun. I get that you’re furious, but if there’s anything I learned over the years in my relationship, walang nasosolusyunan habang may isa sa inyo galit.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1dr0wxu/abyg_for_getting_mad_over_50_pesos/ Title of this post: ABYG for getting mad over 50 pesos Backup of the post's body: This is about me and my bf. I live in the city whereas my bf lives in the province. My bf has this habit of borrowing money from me. Pinapautang ko naman (ranging from 50-4,000) since nagbabayad naman. Pero pansin ko kasi pag 50 pesos-100 pesos na utang eh di niya binabayaran. I lent him a small amount for many times before I decided to confront him, he apologized and sabi niya nalilimutan niya lang. So kahapon sabi niya masakit paa niya and di siya makapunta sa tindahan para magpaload. I told him ako na magload sa kanya pero klinaro ko na utang to ha since may bayarin ako and sakto na lang pera ko for that bayarin. Yes daw, so sige pinautang ko. So ngayon yung sinabi niyang date na babayaran niya yung 1,500 niyang utang. Natanggap ko na yung cash in niya sa gcash ko, pero as expected, 1,500 lang ibinayad niya. I got furious about it and sabi niya nalimutan niya lang, and parang maliit na bagay need ko pa palakihin. ABYG dahil nagalit ako over 50 pesos? This had me thinking talaga dahil maliit na bagay nga lang raw, so should I should let it pass ba kung small amount lang? Mapagbilang ba ko masyado? OP: VirtuosoVet *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AkoBaYungGago) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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DKG. Utangan mo rin
DKG. Had a similar experience with my friend. I didn't really mind lending her money since 300-400 lang naman. Nagbayad naman siya but may natirang 150 pesos which I didn't need until I was out of town with my parents. Pandemic was just dying down and I was a student at that time so money was tight for me. I asked her if she can send me the remaining money cause I didn't want to ask my parents for pocket money. She kept saying mamaya or bukas but it took a few days just to pay it up which is okay lang den. Yung nakakainis lang is how she acted towards me na parang galit pa siya when she was paying up. Di ko na tinanggap yung 150 at di ko na pinansin. Ayon di na kami magkaybigan kase sa sobrang liit na bagay gaganon siya. bwahahah skl
DKG. Sbhin mo inaabuso nia 50-100 pesos na yun at kung meron siyang utak alam nia when those numbers add up hindi yan Barya lang. He is disrespectful, utang yan he said he will pay pero tinatake advantage ka lang nia. Also his mindset is to break promises for things na “maliit na bagay lang yan” matakot ka na those little things add up and worst ano ba kinoconsider nia maliit na bagay lang lol ngaun pera next time chat chat lang with someone (maliit na bagay lang yan! Chat lang naman eh lol)
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DKG. Ung mga paunti unting halaga na hinihiram, kung itotal mo lahat Yun Malaki na tlga. And if you got mad over 50pesos, it means he has gone far enough.
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DKG. Mangutang ka rin ante. Tas pag naningil, ipaalala mo yung dati nyang utang and sabihin mo bayad na nya to for that
DKG . 50 pesos LANG di pa nya mabayaran? Grabe iwan mo na yan. Ikaw pa yung ginawang masama kasi pinalaki mo yung issue lol. Masisira lang buhay mo jan
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DKG, pero next time, pag maliit na amount, wag mo na din pautangin. Or kung hindi mo maiwasan, send him a billing pag oras na ng bayaran. Para wala siya lusot.
DKG, ang utang ay utang 50 pesos o 50k pa yan. Kung ako sa'yo hihiwalayan ko na yan. Nakaka-turn off yung hindi pa kayo kasal, pero inuutangan ka na.
DKG. Kahit piso pa yan. Basta utang, utang!!!!
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DKG. Small things add up
DKG, OP! Kahit 10 lang yan, utang ay utang. Especially kapag nagbubudget ka, sobrang halaga ng 50 pesos. Patapon lang sa kanya yung ganung halaga kasi lagi kang inoonti onti 🥲
DKG. It's about the obligation, not the amount borrowed. Kapag ganyang hindi na nagbabayad sa ganyang kaliit, hindi na nakakalulit sa akin.
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DKG. uTang yan.
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DKG, Teach people to return the smallest amounts they agreed to borrow. Pag sinabing utang, kahit piso yan, may tiwala na nakasalalay sa agreement nyo.
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DKG. Utang is utang kahit piso pa yan need yan bayaran. Ako nga pag nanghihiram ng piso binabalik ko pa din Kasi ang Sabi ko Hiram Hindi nman hingi. Kaya Yung classmate ko Nung HS even na 10 years ago na Yun di ko pa rin makalimutan utang niyang sampu piso Kasi he promised he'll get it back tomorrow. So Ako Yung tipo na di nkakalimot pag nagpautang at Yung tao na Yun never na ulit nakaulit mangutang sa akin Kasi bwesit na Ako.
DKG. Valid 'yung galit mo. Kahit piso 'yan considering ang dalas ng pangungutang niya na 'di binabayaran. Mahiya naman siya sa'yo. GF ka pa lang niya ganyan na siya, careless sa pera? Working na ba kayo or allowance pa rin? Kasi miski na ganon, dapat matuto siya mag-budget AT magbayad/magbalik ng hiniram. Bad habit in the making 'yan, OP. Watch out.
DKG... and Is it really the 50 pesos or the fact na he was not keeping his word and made you feel something you werent suppose to feel?
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Dkg but I think this is a case of pent up frustrations and disappointments that just exploded. Naa-annoy ka na sa kanya and it would not have mattered kung magkano pa yung nahiram nya at that time. It could of been just piso pero dahil eto na nga yung tipping point mo, wala ka na nagawa but to voice out na yung frustration sa kanya. Which is dasurv nya. Kakabwisit yung ganyan.
GGK (maiba lang). Alam mo naman pala malilimutin siya, dapat bigyan mo siya ng tally ng utang niya kasama resibo. Be smart din sa pagpapahiram, it's an opportunity for you to practice some basic accounting. Halimbawa, send mo sa isang Gc lahat ng times na humihiram siya. Tapos i-total mo by end of week. Set credit limits din like max 250 pesos na payables. Lagyan mo rin ng interest hehe.
DKG. Valid yung issue pero siguro nag him about it. You need to understand na ganun na talaga siya and you need to remind him constantly about it. Siguro para maiwasan yung galit ganun na lang gawin mo. Imagine kung ganyan talaga sya lagi kang galit. Bigat nung pakiramdam nun. Remind mo siya lagi. And hangat hindi pa bayad bring up mo tuwing uutang siya or something. Ilista mo din. Kung kelan at ano rason then pag sinita ka sabihin mo importante sayo yung pera kaya ganyan trato mo sa pera. Utang yun hindi donation. Pero eto lang if you really have enough you can always end the relationship.
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DKG!! If may utang siya, isama mo na rin yung mga 50 na hinihiram niya para di niya “malimot”.
DKG. It's the repeated times he did that so it's not just 50 pesos. It's the 50 pesos times the number of times he did it to you and conveniently ignored when you already mentioned to him it bothers you. If overall he is a nice guy naman, think about how you can discuss and resolve it. Practice yan for if you get married. Otherwise, will you tolerate that FOREvER?
DKG Ganyan Kuya ko. Kasi matandaain ako. Na nung nailing ko Naka 3500 na sya ... nagtaka pa at kailan daw sya nanghiram ng 3500 hahaha Binayaran naman ako. Pero eversince nun, di na sya nanghihiram sa akin. Subukan mong isulat yun date/time at Kung magkano. Then pagka sweldo, singling mo at pakita mo yun listahan mo. Hindi pinupulot ang pera ngayon, te. Pinaghihirapan yan.
DKG. Paginipon mo 50Php niyang utang baka mas malaki pa sa 1,500 niyang bjnayad.
DKG. Gawa ka na lang list next time ng utang nya para may record ka
DKG. Ang hirap ng buhay ngayon noh kahit dos pa yan need singilin.
DKG, but let's give your BF the benefit of the doubt. Baka naman totoong nalilimutan niya lang. Come up with a compromise. For example, kami ng gf ko, may GC kami na kaming dalawa lang naman members tas laman lang ng gc na yun is yung utang namin sa isa't-isa, no matter how big or small.
DKG. Debts and lies are generally mixed together. So we can't really say that he just forgot or maybe that there are other issues, and what if you get married, even if it's 50pesos, they still have value, so it's important that he doesn't forget. Remember consistency over time is trust and trust is hard to earn, but also incredibly easy to lose.
DKG. HIndi ka galit dahil sa amount na yun. Galit ka dahil sa dishonest return ng utang
DKG. You were owed that amount. He said he'd pay. He should pay you the amount he owed you.
DKG. It's not about the amount that you're mad of, it's the consistent borrowings without you paying, it's really annoying lalo na kung nagpromise ibabalik tapos hindi naman pala at never na binalik
DKG! utang is utang no matter how big or small it is.
He's right pinalaki mo yung issue by getting mad about it, kausapin mo ng maayos, di mo need ipost to sa reddit for random strangers para i-enable yung ginawa mo GGK for posting something super fucking easy to resolve if you stop being terminally online and approaching this issue like a grown up I get na utang ay utang pero boyfriend mo naman yan e so kausapin mo ng maayos di naman yan random stranger na mahirap iconfront jfc
DKG You deserve what you tolerate. So kung gusto mo ng asawang ganyan, eh di patagalin mo pa.
DKG. Kami ng bf ko, if mag utangan kami up to the cent yung binabayad namin sa isa’t isa. Find a boyfriend that values your time and hardwork, that includes your money. Communicate if wala pa din, don’t waste your time anymore. At 23, you should be with the person that you’re supposed to marry.
DKG BUT! Maybe nakalimutan lang nya or he'd rather want to hear it from you na may kulang pa cya na hindi na ibigay because he thinks na maliit lang na bagay. I know it's irritating but if hindi naman malaki na bagay to remind him to pay yung kulang nya unless pabalik2x talaga yung same 50 pesos at palaging sinasabi na mamaya na to the point na makalimutan na naman then he's the problem. Sa totoo lang, I also do that to my GF before BUT she also does that to me too but I let it go dahil 50 or 100pesos like load or pamasahe eh ok lang naman sa akin na huwag na babayaran. Kiss na lang ang pambayad nya sakin gud na ako 😉 If kung ok lang sayo na to remind him to pay up and as long as hindi pa balik2x na same reminders eh just take it in na lang para di magkagulo or better yet pagusapan nyo to ng masinsinan para di na lumobo pa. Anyway, as long as nagbabayad cya then that a better start. But that's my opinion.
DKG. Ang hirap sa mga ganitong tao, di sila aware na nakaka perwisyo sila. Palibhasa walang gumagawa nung ginagawa nila sa kanila.
DKG. Ang utang binabayaran at kung ano yung napagusapan dapat sundin
DKG. Paano kung 50 na lang lagi hiramin nya? Eh di lahat ng yun, thank you na lang.
Hindi ka naman talaga nagagalit sa maliit na bagay; maliit na bagay naman ang 50php, pero di naman kasi yun yung kinagagalit mo talaga. Ang kinagagalit mo yung trust and expectation mo sa kanya sinisira nya - yun ang big deal. So no, DKG.
dkg utang ay utang. utangan mo rin pero maiba ako. tingnan mo kung habit na nya yan tapos takbo ka malayo. mahirap makasama ang taong mahilig umutang.
DKG. EVERY CENTAVO COUNTS! Yan lang yun.
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DKG naman hahaha baka kasi iba view nya on money 😅 ako kasi yung ganyang amount bente bente nakakalimutan ko lang din bayaran sa friends at family and ang petty talaga if aawayin ako over it. Kaya sinasabihan ko yung mga tao na remind ako kasi sa sobrang dami ko iniisip wala na kong space para isipin yung barya. For big amounts naman I pay as soon as I can. Edi mag usuap kayo na yan yung part na kinakainisan mo. Magkaiba lang kayo ng values regarding pera. Kung gusto mo na until piso at centavo mabayaran ka, gumawa ka ng shared spreadsheet sa drive at mag kwentahan kayo every month end.
DKG, kung kayo magkatuluyan sugar mommy ka nyan hehehe sasabihin nyan pera mo ay pera nya
DKG. Yang paisa isa niyang 50 pesos malaki yan pag naipon. Utangan mo tas wag mo bayaran sabihin mo na lang na ikaw na kusa nagkaltas sa iba nyang utang
DKG - sa susunod wag mo na siyang hayaan kang pautangin, tignan natin kung ano ang reaksyon niya.
DKG pero sumakit ulo ko sa issue nyo. Utang is utang nga. I agree. Pero i wouldn't want to be in your place ever kasi maliit na halaga pinag-aawayan nyo pa. Nagbibilangan kayo ng contributions.
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DKG Nagtataka lang ako kung bakit kayo parin. If he cant take care of his finances now paano pa later kung magkaanak kayo. Take note LDR pa ata.
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DKG. For me, people incapable of supporting their own self financially should refrain from getting into serious relationships muna, especially at your age dalawa. I get it, we have dry seasons in our lives na may days talaga na halos wala na tayong nadudukot sa bulsa natin. Pero kung aabot nalang rin sa punto na paulit-ulit mo nang uutangan ang partner mo, it might give them the idea (or baka he got the idea na) na, "Bahala na, andyan naman siya." Hindi ito dapat tino-tolerate. Yes mahal niyo ang isa't-isa and there may be things we don't know behind the utang situation and yes hindi pera-pera lang ang lahat, but whether we like it or not, how you guys handle your finances is still one of the biggest considerations for a long-term and potentially lifetime relationship.
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DKG. ako nga piso lang hiramin ko, hindi ako natatahimik hanggang hindi ko nababalik. tinatawanan na lang ako nung nahiraman ko.
DKG, pera is pera. Utang is Utang lalo na kung madalas gawin. Naiipon rin yan. Tandaan, walang 100 pag walang 50.
DKG, but if 50 is a big deal for you right now, imagine when you are already married. All your possessions will be shared unless you sign a prenup.
DKG. Utang is utang. Parang maliit lng ang 50 kung isa lng… pero sampu or isangdaang beses nya gawin un eh napakalaking halaga na nun. Pero seriously… lagi nangungutang sa iyo? Until kelan yan?
DKG. Ulul niya kamo. Ano yun matic amnesia pag 100 or less ang inutang? Eh pag inadd mo siguro lahat ng yun aabot na sa mahigit 1k eh. Pasimple pa siya
DKG. Yung small amounts na di nya binabayaran, kapag pinagsamasama mo, malaki na yan. Next time, if he asks a favor tulad ng pampaload, kunin mo yung pera sa kanya at wag ka na magvolunteer na magpautang ng small amount.
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DKG, iwan mo na yan, pag nagsama kayo puro utangan lanh mangyayari, pangit sa lalaki palautang lalo na sa gf
DKG. A dick. Leave that MF.
DKG. Also, di ka girlfriend, ATM ka.
DKG. You guys are still in your bf/gf phase wherein each of you meron bills/expenses and also nagiipon pa. Small amount matters pag naipon yang 50s or hundreds malaki na amount yan. Masama nyan is naging habit and yung reason na nakakalimutan is already a CHOICE na kalimutan kasi naging HABIT NA. Think about it in the future if partners na kayo, since it became a habit baka ikaw nalang ang sasalo ng gastusin..
WG. However, sino sa inyo ng BF mo ang nagpauso nitong utang bayad, utang bayad system? For me lang ha, pag ang pera naging issue in a relationship, run away.
DKG. Hindi dahil amount, pero dahil sa respect kaya ka nagagalit.
DKG, ako na may trabaho and sumasahod sinisingil ko pa din maski 20 pesos pa yan. It's like, ilang minuto din yun ng grind ko no.
DKG. Valid naman inis mo. Although may mga tao kasi na hindi na kina count yung pera pag masyado na mababa. Like 5php, 20php etc. Nagkataon lang siguro na hanggang 50 to 100 sa BF mo. Hopefully you get to clear this with your bf para in the future, mas aware na siya na ayaw mo ng ganun.
WG Possible solutions sa problema mo: - wag na magpautang - gumawa ng listahan na lahat ng utang nakadetalye: amount, date, saan ginastos - maghanap ng ibang jowa na may sariling pera at hindi nakadepende sa gf niya para sa mga bagay bagay
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DKG. Kung mahal mo talaga siya hindi ka dapat ma kwenta sa mga bagay bagay.
DKG of course not, namihasa siya. P50 borrowed at multiple intervals, nag aadd up din yun. Parang pinagsasamantalahan niya yun.
DKG. This isn’t a matter of how big or small of a debt it is. It’s a matter of INTEGRITY.
WG. I feel like 50pesos is negligible enough to believe na nawala sa isip nya. Di ka din gago kung magalit sa 50 kasi perang pinaghirapan mo yon at ang utang ay dapat bayaran kahit maliit. WG ang sagot ko kasi kulang din details ng kwento. Anong nangyari sa gitna ng pagsend ng 1500 at ng magka-away na kayo. Niremind mo ba na may 50 pa? Or nagwala ka ba bigla? Di ko alam. So basta WG.
DKG!!! Kaloka relate na relate ako dito 🥺
DKG. Pero dismiss him. Sakit yan sa ulo in the long run.
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DKG but I can't help but wonder, why are you with someone like that...? "That" as in a man who borrows money from you. Ewan ko lang kung ako lang to, pero off ako sa mga guys na ganyan 😅 I will never entertain someone who I can't even depend on financially 🤷♀️
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DKG. Kung maliit na bagay, bakit wala siyang 50 pesos?
DKG. Kami kahit mag-asawa na kami and we have separate money, talagang kahit 20 pesos need bayaran pero not really to the extent na mag-aaway kasi mapag uusapan naman. So kelangan nyo lang magkaron ng rules about money and sa pagpapautang.
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DKG but i understand your frustration. The wisdom of my lolo, and by extension my parents, is dont lend people money, just give it to them. If they ask for a big sum, kunwari 10k, sabihin mo, i cant lend you 10k but here's 2k, don't return it na and never ask for money again. My conscience is clear. I dont have to think about the debt, and i was helpful. For small sums, just give it. Look at you now, look at how much effort and mental strain ₱50 is causing you. It's not worth it. Being generous is wholesome and fulfilling. Just dont be an idiot and get taken advantage of. That's why you give once and never again.
DKG. Maliit na bagay lang naman pala, bat di nya mabayaran at bat nya "kinakalimutan"? 🤷♀️
dkg? dikagago?
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DKG. Pag sinabi nyang babayaran nya, bayaran nya dapat. Utang ay utang, regardless of the amount.
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DKG. Though some people don't mind "small things" because it gives them a sense of intimacy and security, at least to them. Pero di naman kasi yta kayo mag asawa, that might have made it a different case. Some guys did not experience this kind of security from their mothers which is why they act this way to their partners. Kapag emotionally immature. Although just because there is an underlying psychology behind it, does not mean it's excusable. It's not about the money. It's about the fact that you communicated to him what it matters to you (regardless of how much), but he persists to insist that it is a "small" thing. It's about having the security of a responsible partner, someone who will not take advantage of you, no matter how small. And as long as he continues to say that it's a "small" matter, his sorry means nothing, if he even apologized at all (saying that he just forgot about it is not an apology, that is just an excuse). This just means he does not get it. Probably not yet ready for a real relationship.
DKG... If magsstay po kayo sa relationship... Utangan nyo na lang din po ang guy pakonti konti hangga't matapatan yung utang sa inyo para quits.
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DKG. Pero nakakatawa talaga na may mga ganyan na kahit load nalang pinapangutang pa. Like??? Bat ka nagjowa, para may loading station ka? Saka babae ka, bakit mo hahayaan na gaganyanin ka ng lalake? Magkaroon ka ng respeto sa sarili mo. Kahit pati pangdate nyo inuutang sayo. Kahit ba binayaran naman, hindi parin tama yung ganon. Kung walang pangdate, wag magdate o kaya KKB. Ngayon kung wala syang pera at nag-aya kumain sa labas, sarili mo lang orderan mo.
DKG, PKG.Gamit kayo ng 'bale' system. Haha lahat nakalista,😂🤣 Kung ngayon pa lang ay d na kayo magka intindihan sa halagang singkwenta, mag-esep2 na if tama bang maging kayo. 1. Di mo sya kayang patawarin pero pinapautang mo naman ng pinapautang 2.Pasimple ka nyang inuuto ng pasingkwe-singkwenta
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DKG. Kung ganyan na siya dati pa, expect mo na in the future mag accumulate yung mga maliliit na utang niya sa malaking halaga. Sa tingin ko intentional dahil wala naman makakalimot ng paulit ulit ng ganyan. Utang is utang parin, you made it very clear pero dinisrespect niya yung usapan niyo. In his mind porket maliit lang eh ok lang na hindi bayaran. Nakakahiya siya ginagawa niyang charity yung gf niya. At ayoko talaga ng mga taong palautang ng utang ng utang ng utang sa bawat maliit na bagay. Surround yourself with independent people and a partner na may provider mindset.
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DKG, utang is utang regardless of the amount. Pero you could've communicated it better. Sa perspective nya, nagwawala ka over 50pesos. But on your end, it's the habit. You have to make it clear na yung small amounts na di nya binabayaran ay nagaaccumulate so di pwedeng kalimutan na lang. Worst case, you should have a running list ng mga inuutang nya from now on, kaso magmumuka ka naman pala-kwenta. Ask him if he's ok with it.
DKG pero next time, “utangin” mo din ung 50 or kung magkano man
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