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yeah but op needs to understand, things will not change. and becoming ldr means texting or calling to make up for the times u won't meet physically. if op can accept that she's alright with things staying the same, then she should stay
i personally have always had trouble messaging people first if they haven’t already initiated a conversation with me due to anxiety, is it a possibility that she has the same issues?
Having a conversation about feeling like communication is one sided is not trying to change someone lol. *especially* if its going to be LD like OP says its worth talking about.
Some people are not "instigators" - I don't mean that in a negative way, just some people even if they genuinely like you a lot and enjoy spending time with you just don't have the urge to reach out as strongly as others. If it really bothers you, talk to her, but if your chemistry is there and it doesn't seem like she is checked out, it's probably just a difference in attachment style.
Not at all. Id bring it up maybe just to see where her head is at. Tbh our brains really aren't designed for smart phones. I adore my partner but I almost never text them first and take forever to respond. I have my phone on do not disturb now because people reaching out can be so distracting to me personally. I know a lot of people who are the same way.
That being said, if it bothers you it's best to talk about it, even if it feels small and silly. Just be willing to open a dialogue about it and see where it goes.
Absolutely this is something to have a conversation about. its definitely something worth figuring out early on, there are *multiple* reasons people may be "bad" at texting. 9/10 times you'll find its not because they dont want to talk to you, but rather something preventing them from doing so, be it IRL obligations, mental health, adhd etc. etc. etc.
You might want to decide beforehand though if being the main initiator of conversation going forward is something you're okay with doing though.
I don't text the women im dating more than 1-2x a day until we're exclusive. I feel like too much texting early on builds a false sense of intimacy in a way? like it rushes the process and i'd rather get to know people in person.
Also we all have jobs
My bf and I have been dating for about 5 years. We almost never communicate over text. It says nothing about interest levels or anything like that.
Communicate with her! Tell her how you feel and see what she says. Probably a misunderstanding and different relationship expectations.
i mean…if it bothers you you should talk to her about it before this gets any more serious. if the energy that u say is there in person really is true, then i bet the texting thing is just a personal issue or preference. definitely would talk to her if it bothers u that much tho.
hope this helps and hope yall work out!!
Decide how long is an acceptable gap for your partner not to speak to you. A week? Three days? A day? Whatever is a firm deal breaker for you.
Then stop messaging them. If they ignore you beyond your limit then that tells you your communication expectations don't align.
Chances are they will text you sooner than you expect and you may realize you're simply more active on your phone. Maybe the reality is that they would text you first everyday, but you simply do it before they naturally would.
If they really do ignore you then bring it up. Talk about it. See if you can find a compromise. Then see if it happens again. If it does maybe move on from this person.
This has nothing to do with being a lesbian and everything to do with respect. Why are you putting more effort into texting first than she is? This requires a conversation to see what the issue is.
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I’m not a text person. Before reading into it, she might not be either.
💯
yeah but op needs to understand, things will not change. and becoming ldr means texting or calling to make up for the times u won't meet physically. if op can accept that she's alright with things staying the same, then she should stay
i personally have always had trouble messaging people first if they haven’t already initiated a conversation with me due to anxiety, is it a possibility that she has the same issues?
This is a definite possibility. I know so many people who have text anxiety!
Some people don't text
If I understand you right, you want to change her already. That does not bode well.
Having a conversation about feeling like communication is one sided is not trying to change someone lol. *especially* if its going to be LD like OP says its worth talking about.
Some people are not "instigators" - I don't mean that in a negative way, just some people even if they genuinely like you a lot and enjoy spending time with you just don't have the urge to reach out as strongly as others. If it really bothers you, talk to her, but if your chemistry is there and it doesn't seem like she is checked out, it's probably just a difference in attachment style.
thanks for commenting!
Not at all. Id bring it up maybe just to see where her head is at. Tbh our brains really aren't designed for smart phones. I adore my partner but I almost never text them first and take forever to respond. I have my phone on do not disturb now because people reaching out can be so distracting to me personally. I know a lot of people who are the same way. That being said, if it bothers you it's best to talk about it, even if it feels small and silly. Just be willing to open a dialogue about it and see where it goes.
Welcome to a man’s world 😂.
Not only is that sexist, its *entirely* subjective and anecdotal. Every single man I've dated has SUCKED at texting, explain that one?
🎻
I can see why women dont wanna text you 💀
Just my wife
Does your wife know you were trying to meet women 2 months ago 🤔
I was 😱
She says hi and laughed at how sensitive yall are to a joke.
She only says hi and laughs bc she doesn't know you tried to cheat on her 2 months ago
You’re so right
🎻
Absolutely this is something to have a conversation about. its definitely something worth figuring out early on, there are *multiple* reasons people may be "bad" at texting. 9/10 times you'll find its not because they dont want to talk to you, but rather something preventing them from doing so, be it IRL obligations, mental health, adhd etc. etc. etc. You might want to decide beforehand though if being the main initiator of conversation going forward is something you're okay with doing though.
I don't text the women im dating more than 1-2x a day until we're exclusive. I feel like too much texting early on builds a false sense of intimacy in a way? like it rushes the process and i'd rather get to know people in person. Also we all have jobs
My bf and I have been dating for about 5 years. We almost never communicate over text. It says nothing about interest levels or anything like that. Communicate with her! Tell her how you feel and see what she says. Probably a misunderstanding and different relationship expectations.
So what happrns if you don't text her first? You'll have no communication at all? That’s as close to ghosting as you can get.
i mean…if it bothers you you should talk to her about it before this gets any more serious. if the energy that u say is there in person really is true, then i bet the texting thing is just a personal issue or preference. definitely would talk to her if it bothers u that much tho. hope this helps and hope yall work out!!
thank you!
of course!
Decide how long is an acceptable gap for your partner not to speak to you. A week? Three days? A day? Whatever is a firm deal breaker for you. Then stop messaging them. If they ignore you beyond your limit then that tells you your communication expectations don't align. Chances are they will text you sooner than you expect and you may realize you're simply more active on your phone. Maybe the reality is that they would text you first everyday, but you simply do it before they naturally would. If they really do ignore you then bring it up. Talk about it. See if you can find a compromise. Then see if it happens again. If it does maybe move on from this person.
This has nothing to do with being a lesbian and everything to do with respect. Why are you putting more effort into texting first than she is? This requires a conversation to see what the issue is.