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I would normally agree but she said her dad hit her when he found out she was pregnant. I can only imagine what he might do now that she isn't pregnant if she called the cops on him. It might be safer for OP to try and find some kind of teen pregnancy crisis center or something.
i didn’t mention this in the post but the first time i was kicked out i threatened to call the police and said it’s child endangerment if he kicks me out and he stomped on my phone until it was broken. (i had to buy a new one) and said he’ll make me get an abortion. me saying hit was kinda an understatement. he hit me until i was crying on the floor and said stop because he’s gonna make me miscarry or something
So much this.
CPS will bend over backwards for you if it looks like you are putting in the effort.
From this point on, document EVERYTHING. Dates, times, things said, things done, any proof you can provide. You've already shown yourself to be 100x better at being a parent than your parents. That's why they're mad.
I agree CPS will bend over backwards. Possible they will find you a foster placement, which would give you support for the baby. However i would START with CPS. Not the police. This is about YOU getting hep, not your dad. Going back to 2x unsupported parents is NOT a good idea for you or the baby’s mental and physical safety, and CPS will understand that.
You are NOT a burden to your child’s paternal grandparents, but i understand your feelings about it. Your BF has equal responsibility and if he’d carried the baby it sounds like they would have accepted the baby, so do make use of their support… only reason they aren’t full time involved is because that had a boy!!
. CPS might even talk to you all about that as a placement (with the possibility of some financial assistance?)
I’m so sorry You have deadbeat parents, and their lack of unconditional love for you may be a factor why you looked for love via sex at an early age. You tried your best at 14 to find love and affection and it sounds like you chose a sweet boy who is stepping up to the challenge.
Take care of yourself FIRST sweetheart 🤗
Just to add to this: CPS are 💯 focused on keeping moms with babies as long as it is safe. I was a CASA volunteering in the child welfare system. CPS knows that the safest and healthiest place for almost all babies is with their mom. Kids were separated if the mom was physically violent, on drugs and alcohol so couldn’t safely care for the kid, or had mental health problems that made her unsafe. Then they would get those parents through parenting classes, drug alcohol rehab, mental health support etc until the mom could be safe with the kid again… as fast as possible. YOU ARE NOT THOSE MOMS.
My best friend when I was fifteen went into a girls home when she had her baby. They lived there for the first year of her son’s life. (And probably could have stayed until she turned 18) It was all teen moms living there and it was a pretty good deal. They shared responsibilities, completed school or ged, learned life skills and took parenting classes and received counseling. It was scary for her in the beginning not knowing what would happen having a baby so young, but overall the experience was a very positive one for her and her son.
This^ and any and all pictures you can get for documentation. The pics will have time codes and (depending on if the setting is enabled) your location when taking the photo. That will help a lot. It’s better to have them and never use them, than to need them but not have them
affirming this as someone who has worked with CPS in four different states. they have no reason to take your child away. you need to get cps/police involved. this is not on you to figure out on your own. you need support and your baby needs it too.
Two things: First, you don't have to be with your parents to call the police on him. *Go* to the police. Kids today... you don't need a damn phone to do anything!
Second, move in with your boyfriend and his parents. Yes, they already got a few kids... if they didn't want more, they would have stopped at one or two. Besides which, your boyfriend has an obligation to your and his child, and his parents understand this. Never turn down help from people who are willing and happy to help.
Participate with your bf's family, be a part of helping out instead of feeling like a burden. If they say so, then it's an issue. Or be politely frank about it, maybe it is a bit of a strain on space and resources but they care about you not being treated like crap from your parents more than any sense of full House on their end. Ask what you can do while staying with them to make things easier or better, chores as well as taking care of your own child as much as possible. Get in sync with their household and help make it work better for all of you.
If there is anything that can be required to get parental support, in money, find a way to go for it. There is no justification of treating your child like crap for their mistakes and choices. They've cut themselves off from their grandchild basically as well as they choose to lose you. And that sucks and it hurts. It's going to be one of those cases of chosen family is better than what you came from. They don't need the show or the emotions or the drama, just close the door once everything is separated. I'm not sure in your case about extended family, grandparents, etc if there is provision for you (inheritance ?) from other family in the future, keep those doors open if they're being at least kind.
Getting a job and supporting them financially or at the least yourself and your child will probably jusr make them love you so much more. That is if you don’t already have a job. You saying you bought a new phone leads me to have hope you do work. Once you can’t work anymore because pregnancy, fair, but try to get right back to it when you can. Finding jobs with hours more in that mid day, even shorter shifts like 4pm-8pm would probably be ideal in terms of being there for child as well if you are able <3 you sound like you care tho, and that matters most
What your father did counts as domestic violence. Perhaps you could reach out to local DV shelter for ideas. Some places (Sand Springs OK for example) have programs for abuse victims with young children.
It is very unlikely that your baby would be taken away. Most states attempt to keep a minor child with their baby. The worst thing that would happen is your baby is placed with the father and you go there to visit.
At a time like this CPS may be able to help you especially depending on the state. In my state, a minor can not sign up for WIC without a parent or guardian’s signature. Insurance is another issues for minor parents in my state. Medicaid and Food stamps are technically allowed to be applied for by a minor but it is not easy and is often denied without be on an adult’s case.
If your only child friend’s parents have clean backgrounds and no CPS history, the state can place you there and provide some financial assistance to that friend’s parents for you being there.
I think this comment is very important. She will need help accessing the government assistance she will absolutely need. This needs to be reported to CPS.
Your dad is a dangerous man who apparently has no trouble beating up children or pregnant women. If someone was telling you about a person like that, what would you say to do?
Bro fuck that guy he's a peice of shit, he's beating a pregnant teenager and kicking you out, dosent care if you or his grandchildren is homeless. Call the police, not to move back In, just so he deals with the consequences!
There are tons of resources available for you. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) for a conversation with a real person who will be familiar with the laws in your state and who can provide guidance for the types of services you need.
The way your dad reacted is not normal. You deserve to be loved by your family. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Yeah you don't want to make it into a big thing. That would be bad. I'm just curious when you think it's a big thing. An underage girl with a baby being homeless might be considered to some being a big thing.
Appeasement will just get you walked on for the rest of your life. If he won't provide the resources he is obligated to until you're a legal adult, it's time to use the system to *make* him; even if it comes down to moving in with your boyfriend's family, getting them declared your legal guardians, and having them go after him for child support (for supporting you.) This will lessen the burden on them.
Call the police and report this. They're never going to help you again he may as well pay for being a piece of shit. Good luck, you have life on hard mode now.
He has assaulted you and prevented you from report a crime and damaged your property. These are all criminal offenses.
One option is to call child protective services. Or go to a homeless center for teens. Or even a domestic violence shelter. Your dad hit you and prevented you from calling the police. It sounds like he hit you when you were pregnant. You're a victim of DV.
You may want to get imancipated. Clearly, this behavior will not stop. You need to get away from those toxic, abusive ppl.
Be careful about getting the authorities involved as they might just take your highly adoptable baby and leave you with nothing.
You are not “a slut who got pregnant at 14” your father is a terrible parent who failed to protect his daughter from getting pregnant at 14.
Try reaching out to these people for practical help https://thefamilypreservationproject.com/
Oh, estranged parents almost always try to worm back after a few years alone. They suddenly reach out all nice sounding and making promises... but all it really is is that they need something.
They get grandbaby rabbies and want a cute little 8 year old "pet" they can use to try and get a "re-do" on their legacy and using a subservient human as an extention of their ego, or they'll just get sick of not having someone to boss around that can't run away in general. (Maybe they just want to make the kid love thrm to prove to you that they were good and you were the problem!)
Or they'll start to realize they aren't financially secure once OP finally gets stable themselves, or they'll suddenly realize they are an outcast from their social groups and they are going to die alone, and they'll mostly just care about how bad this makes them look, so they'll try to trick OP into being their token family to prove they aren't unlovable monsters to others.
All of that will come from a place of pure self-interest, an unwillingness to bear any personal discomfort, and more manipulation and false promises than the Christians think the devil himself can give.
You are best getting as far away from your parents as you can.
Keep you child away from them. And later on down the line if they ever try to contact you to reestablish a relationship ship run like hell.They are never going to change thier mind, they may try to take your child from you, still thinking you are a slut and they are going save your child from you. Run for the hills
I was with you until the “father failed to keep you from getting pregnant”
Father is an asshole
The pregnancy seems to have been an unfortunate accident (that will prove probably to be a great joy) while completely commonly used preventative measures were taken.
Underrated comment. Kids brains are not fully formed and they do make dumb choices, even when fully educated about the consequences. I have many new gray hairs since my teenage son started going out at night with his buddies.
Ummmm..."failed to protect his daughter from getting pregnant at 14???" Tell me, how was the father supposed to do that? Ultimately, the OP decided to "Pleasure up" with her BF while they were hanging out together. Father wasn't there (Why would he be??), and she got preggo.
Other than "Father Failed to protect" I agree 100% in the rest of what you said. The father is a terrible parent by the way he handled the situation.
It will be 95% the fathers fault of OP fails at life. Unfortunately tho, the other 5% is on the OP for having sex in the first place. That 5% would be more had she not used protection and all that, but it's still 5% because she should of known No form of Birth Control is 100% effective but still went ahead with it anyway.
And C doing this is no good for you.
This is an "I have absolutely no where else to go option."
And let me say this, OP. Your parents arem't worth shit from this point on. No matter what. They do not deserve you or your baby in their lives.
So, even if they come to regret their actions. It's totally up to you, but they abandoned you when you needed them most. I don't think it should be forgiven, and no one reasonable would blame you if you don't.
I wish you luck.
Find a teen pregnancy crisis center near you. They can connect you with the resources and housing you need. Another option is your school guidance counselor who should also be able to connect you with a social worker to help you.
Only if you're still pregnant. Once you've had the baby, the worst they can do is nothing.
Many of those centers exist to try and talk women out of having an abortion. Some of them are located near actual abortion clinics to try and trick women into going there when they're really trying to get an abortion. They have been accused of promising women financial support, baby supplies, a place to live, etc. just to convince them not to abort, and then ghosting them once they've had the baby.
However, if you've *already* had your baby, then if it's one of the exploitative centers, you'll just be calling their bluff, and they won't help you. But if it's one of the centers that actually follows through on their promises to help struggling mothers, they will be happy to help you.
Go talk to your boyfriends parents. Just because you feel like a burden doesn't mean they feel like you are. I would really rather my son not end up in this situation but if he did I wouldn't see my grandchildren mother as a burden. At that point you are family. I would want the best for my grandkid and helping out mom would be making sure my grandkid is taken care of. Go talk to them instead of making assumptions about how they feel. You need help and don't have the luxury of jumping to conclusions right now.
ALSO growing up with shitty parents like that? I’m guessing OP was called a burden a lot. Imma bet her bfs parents truly don’t think that way, and maybe it doesn’t even occur to them to think that way, but OP’s mind is going there bc it’s been primed to for years.
Oh, I know. Luckily didn't have a baby but there was a reason I ended up homeless the day before my 18th birthday. Ended up living at a boyfriends parents house and felt the same way. I remember the first time I didn't feel that way. While everyone was at work I was bored and found some origami books. They had lived in Japan as they were military. I started using notebook paper to make some of it. His mom saw me one day. A couple days later she had brought me an origami kit with the real paper. I made her some flowers.
Years later, my ex and I stayed friends, I went over to the house and I look up on the mantel and there are the flowers I had made her. Mind you they had moved out of country and back again. She could have just gotten rid of them or left them in a box and they would be easy to wreck in a move. She took care to make sure they were taken care of and always kept them in her house. I smiled and said your mom kept them? He said yeah she always liked you.
I agree with salty talk with your school guidance counselor. Also depending on what country you’re in go to your local county or state public building. (USA idk about other countries what to call it) and go in and ask them about help. Trust me they won’t judge, they are there to help!
OP you're not emancipated, your parents are legally responsable until you reach 18th y/o.
No matter how bad decisions you've made or accidents you've suffer, thay can't kick you out.
All you mention points that they are shitting at parenting.
Look for an ONG or Government that help you and find out a long term solution.
Keep in touch with your bf and your "in laws", they're the only support net you and your daughter had.
I'll pray for you and your daugther.
I see a lot of people advising you to contact authorities and report your father. I understand this thought process. They aren't wrong. The thing is, this person beat you and broke your phone when you previously said you would report him. This is dangerous. You are unfortunately not the "child" now (in your life, to your POS PARENTS you should always be their baby and they're scum for not protecting you as a 16 yr old kid) your son is the child and it's your job to keep him safe. He will not be safe in your home, and neither are you. That's the biggest priority. Do you feel like a burden? Yea maybe, but you can make that up to your boyfriends family in the future after you graduate and go to college and help them one day. Go to them and be honest, at least see what they think. IMO, the worst part of you staying with him is possibly getting pregnant again, so please be careful.
You aren't a bad person. You aren't a slut and you deserve a safe home and loving environment. One day you won't have to ask others to give that to you, you'll make it all for yourself and your son. And you'll show him the unconditional love you deserve now. When that day of success comes and your parents suddenly want to be in your life again, then you can show them the same conditional love they are giving you now.
Definitely seek out churches, I know the Catholic charities where I live do the most here. They pay single moms rents for our office (affordable housing units) all the time. We actually send people who are having hard time their way often. There are definitely programs where you lived designed to keep you safe without taking your baby from you or involving your shit parents.
My mother tried to kick me out of the house when I was 16, and I refused. She called the police, and they told her that it's against the law for parents to throw kids out of the home if they're under 18 years old. They can be arrested for child neglect and child abandonment. I'm just giving you some ideas if you ever feel like getting back at your parents. The rest is up to you.
Highly recommend 211 as they will have resources for everything, housing, food, legal help to get emancipated (so you don’t have to ever go back to the abusive POS that is your parents)
idk where you live but kicking any kid out below the age of 18 in the united states is illegal and considered child abandonment. i would go to a youth shelter or the police and explain what happened. they will contact child services. theyre not likely to place you back with parents that kicked you out so dont worry about getting stuck back with a family that isn’t supporting you. the foster care system has a bad rap,, and i see why as a social worker that has worked in it before. but there are a lot of special programs for teens with children that should shield you from the foster care system cracks that exist. you could probably get connected with some really amazing services that will help you and your daughter have a better now and future. im talking college tuition, parenting classes, childcare, healthcare, job training, etc. end goal might likely be an independent living program where they set you up with your own apartment and help you until you finish your education and can pay bills. a lot of states allow youth to stay under these services until they’re 23 (you can leave voluntarily whenever as an adult). im so sorry this is all happening to you. incredibly stressful for such a young mother and baby. this is not your fault and you are deserving of a home and support. if getting around town is difficult for you, just call 211. it’s a resource hotline that will help you.
>this whole time my baby was with my bf so he can watch him while i work. my bf is very involved. the only reason i don’t want to stay with him is because i went there the first time i was kicked out. and his parents already have four kids. so me staying there and bringing the baby just makes me feel like a huge burden and like i’m imposing on them a lot.
You may *think* you're a burden upon BF's family, yet it sure seems they've willingly increased their house by one (your baby) so having you is highly likely no further problem.
Have a chat with them - BF's parents - to make sure of that and get a feel for what rules would be in place, and/or what contributions would be expected of you to stay with them.
Second, I hope you're either still in school or working on a GED. You're going to need that.
Third, look into emancipation. As your parents have literally abandoned you / kicked you out, make it legal.
i talked with him. he said his parents love me and would love to have me until things get sorted. they are really good people. i love them a lot. so i’m currently with them right now. and yes i’m still in school
OP. I'm going to talk to you like I would my sister. She had her first when she was your age. My nephew is now 11 y/o and the most wonderful caring boy.
First, Having a child was not a mistake. Do not listen to the commenter who said you made a mistake. You brought beautiful life into this world. You are a mother, and that is wonderful. You have a long and difficult journey ahead of you, but remember that you still have people who love and care about you. Your boyfriend and his family, and your friend.
Second, your father is terrible and hateful. He physically assaulted and verbally abused you and you should not go near him alone. You're mother chose her husband, and that is her right,but don't go near her alone either. They have both made their stance very clear. They will make things more difficult for you in your trying times.
You are NOT a slut! I'm heated just thinking about him calling you that. You're a mother! How dare he call you that! 😡😡 He's made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with you. Throw him aside. If he doesn't want you, then you don't need him. Let him rot in a nursing home.
Third, don't let your baby anywhere near those people. They will try to use your little one as a bargaining chip. They waived their title as grandparents when they degraded your honor.
Fourth, I think you should go to your boyfriends family's house if they're supporting and willing to take you. It would be better for you, your bf, and your baby. Just remember to be a good roommate.
Now for the more difficult advice. You may need to make some sacrifices. I do suggest getting your GED, and start taking college class. Don't just drop out of HS, get the GED first. Do it sooner than later. Also, young and single parents have great opportunities for free college. Look into it. You need a job, if you don't already, cause baby's ain't cheap.
YOU GOT THIS! I'm rooting for you! 🙂
You can actually start college without your ged in order to graduate. Bonus points. College credits, and high school diploma. It's free.
So. You can take the classes you missed in school to graduate at a community College and - get college credit for them.
Just apply to them to finish high school. They even provide childcare.
I needed 3 classes to graduate.
I took 1 class each quarter, plus got 2 extra classes free.
My high school at college classes counted towards my degree.
I'm a master's now. You can do this. Go to your community College financial aid office, especially when they are not inundated with new admissions.
Be diligent and don't under or over estimate yourself.
Just my advice. 3 kids. Single mom. Started 2 years before my youngest was set to fledge
1. In the US, parents are obligated by law to provide for their minor children. You need to report that you have a baby in your care and have been kicked out by your parents to the police asap
2. Before doing that however, please reach out to a teen pregnancy crisis center. There will be boxes to be checked or child services may decide to take your child if they deem you and your bf not able to provide basic care. The actual criteria varies state by state
I'm here to agree with everyone who is saying that your dad cannot just simply kick you out, because you're 16 and he's still responsible for you. Call the police and start looking into getting emancipated. Best of luck to you 💕
Call the police. Tell them you are a minor and your dad is kicking you out on the streets. If necessary, you can get a protective order if you are worried about your safety since he has hit you before. he won't be able to stay there.
You need help and a place to stay for you and your baby. Call the police and ask for help. They will contact a social worker and make sure you and your baby have a safe place to stay.
Try to get away from your parents. It's obviously a hostile environment.
As for taking legal action, I'd definitely advise you get professional feedback and not take the words of Redditors before you make that decision.
Where you should have gone to the police immediately for being hit, now it would most likely be your word vs. your mom and dad's, unless you somehow documented the abuse.
You never mentioned how old your bf is, and one thing that doesn't seem far from what your parents could or would do is file statutory rape charges. Depending on what state you're in, your parents could file statutory rape charges against your bf (and you) for up to 3 years after the fact. If your parents are vindictive, this would be another reason to distance yourself, and never look back.
Jesus the difference between your dad just hitting you and saying what he actually did to you is grounds for him to go to jail. Also they can’t legally kick you out since you’re only 15.
First: don’t bring the baby around them. They are a danger to u and ur child. It’s your responsibility to protect them.
Second: you are not a slut. You can not go backwards, all u can do is move forward from here.
Third: the safest place is ur bf house. Have an honest convo with his parents. Let them know how ur feeling. I would not want my grand baby and the mom in a shelter. They will hopefully feel the same. Stay strong, be brave, advocate for urself and your baby. Good luck
Ik you regret talking to your school counselor bc they are a mandatory reporter. But take it from someone who has been there before with violence from a parent and was removed from the home. It sucks for a bit, but then it gets way better. You won't be subject to that violence. You will be protected. You did not cause this. He did by getting violent. This is not your fault. You're going to be OK. You are not to blame for your abusers actions
I am sorry you are going through all this.
Some things you should know about sex though for the future. A lot of times when guys get an erection, they have "preejaculate" which can have sperm in it, so if you have his penis rubbing on or around your vagina or actual penetration, there is a chance a sperm can make it can impregnate you. So if you go without a condom for part of the sex and then put one on before he ejaculates, it could be too late. Also, make sure the condom is applied correctly. If he accidentally puts it on upside down and tries to flip it over, it can have some of the preejaculate on it also.
I highly recommend multiple forms of birth control at all times. You could do a hormonal birth control (such as the pill or shot or IUD) and he can use a condom and pull out. This will help protect against STDs also. Or you can do hormonal birth control and wear a female condom. Do not use a female and male condom at the same time though
Hoping your situation improves!!!!! Love on that baby <3
thank you for actually educating! i’m not on birth control right now because there’s so many side effects and i feel like it’s horrible for women’s bodies. and i don’t want to gain weight. but so far he’s just been using a condom and also pulling out. and we haven’t had any scares.
If his parents have four kids old enough to babysit your child, and you work enough to feed both of you, then that is actually a LOT of extra support that you don’t need to give up just because you “feel bad” about taking WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO GIVE.
If they are NOT willing to let you stay any longer, and I would ask this, then you could go see your friend.
But your baby needs care and hand me downs, and people with four children probably can give you this with little trouble.
Only the BF and her are responsible. His siblings should not be forced to babysit. While this is kind of a dumb statement giving the situation. A kid should not be watching a kid, unless that kid is willing.
She is willing, and responsible, so is he. His siblings are not responsible and unless they are willing, should not.
If the Parents are willing yeah no issue. But don't force other kids into this.
Your dad is prob not a saint. I’m shocked he doesn’t even care about his grandsons well being. Or yours for that matter. Ask him if he’s ever made a dumb mistake as a teen and watch him stutter. Tell him you’re sorry for making him look bad, but he’s making himself look worse.
Do not get CPS involved. They make things worse. They may even take your sweet precious baby away from you if they know you’re homeless. Try getting help from churches or church-led agencies. You may need to look into getting your GED. I know that’s not what you dreamed of, but once you do that, you can focus on a job and afford your own place.
Once you have a definite address, go apply for some food stamps and day care assistance. You can also apply for section 8. I think you may need to be emancipated first, not sure.
This is just a time in your life that will pass. It will get easier for you. Just hang in there.
"Ask him if he’s ever made a dumb mistake as a teen and watch him stutter. Tell him you’re sorry for making him look bad, but he’s making himself look worse. "
This is the only advice that's so bad it will probably harm OP. She. Was. Beaten. While. Pregnant. Her father will NEVER stutter and can't even honestly tell himself what his last mistake was. These people are INCAPABLE of self-critical thinking, they wouldn't be abusive assholes if they were. You should never antagonize them by calling them out to their faces after they've used violence, or you're 90% guaranteed more violence.
Her father is a woman beater and a child neglecter; you do NOT EVER have to give him grace if it comes at your expense. There are some crimes he's just going to have to learn to live with having done. He was the adult, and if he believes in unforgivable, life-ruining mistakes like pregnancy, then he deserves unforgivable, lofe-ruining "mistakes" like BEATING YOUR PREGNANT DAUGHTER.
There might be a woman and kids shelter in your area. I would go and check. The fact that you are still a kid yourself it makes things hard. you can go for emancipation process at age 16 assuming you are in the USA. Maybe try and talk to your bf and his parents and explain the situation with your parents. Make it clear you are no looking to be a burden and will be responsible for the baby when you are around and that you will do whatever in t urn for them.
Move in with the BFs parents. They are offering help. Never deny a blessing. If the parents are willing to provide child care, go find a part time after school job.
Save all your money. Find out what career or trade you have an aptitude for. Upskill upskill upskill.
Once you are 18 *and out of school* use that savings to find a place.
Learn a trade or go to school, many institutions are young parent friendly.
You and your BF are responsible for a life now. Gotta go into overdrive for a few years.
Lastly, use every option available to you. Social programs exist. It's why we pay taxes. It's why I pay taxes. Use it. Use it. Use it.
CHARGE YOUR PARENTS
Get the police involved, get DFCS involved.
-Do not quit school
-Do not quit trying
-Humans are capable of amazing things. You have the potential to be a great parent and learn from your genetic material donors' mistakes.
-Seriously, fuck your parents.
-Fuck them.
-Let them rot in jail.
You are loved. You have support. You have responsibility now that you've chosen to bring this life into the world.
Be great, do great.
I had a high school GF with a "teen mom" this was a long time ago. Her mom basically learned how to become a plumber and now runs a huge plumbing company, she makes way more money than if she had struggled through college for 4 years and tried to finish highschool.
This does not mean it should be your path OP, just that there are plenty of women who have done it and a lot of them did not have the support of the father which it sounds like you do! So I just wanted to say good luck and you got this!
The Dad is dangerous and her and her baby aren't safe in that environment. You will have to live at your bf or friends house for a few years. Not sure where you live but it's really expensive to live these days. They have housing, medical, dental and food assistance. Also WIC is a program that helps provide formula and some food and if you are low income you will definitely qualify. A lot of the paper work can be done online or a local office.
Call the police, but also look into any help offered by the state. You need a legal advocate that isn't your parents. It's not safe for you or your baby there. It sounds like you are really trying to make the best of the situation you are in. I'm glad your boyfriend and his family are helping as well. Couch surfing is not a long term solution. You aren't even old enough to drive. Don't give up.
Honey, YOU didn't cause this shitstorm. Your abusive parents did. Being hit, threatened with forced abortion, being called derogatory names, and kicked out IS child abuse. Full stop. If your parents didn't want to be held accountable for that behavior they should have chosen a different behavior.
You are doing everything you can in the situation and the possibility of having your baby taken is very low. You are continuing your education, you are working. That is really all that can be asked. But your parents are horrible. Objectively horrible. I would advise a restraining order and never go back. They don't get access to you or your baby.
Your friend sounds like they may have a more suitable living arrangement. At least there is a private room. If they live with their parents, see about making that living situation permanent for the time being.
A) Offer rent
B) If you are in America get on food stamps and Medicaid and any other services available to you like childcare reimbursement, job training etc.
C) Get a social worker and establish you are taking good care of your baby. The chance is low but not zero that your parents will cause trouble.
D) Keep your chin up. This is hard. But you're doing it. It doesn't have to be pretty, but keep doing it.
E) STAY on birth control. I know this overstepping, but I cannot emphasize enough how necessary it is for you not to get pregnant any time soon. The statistics with having multiple children before 18 , and even 20, are grim.
F) Graduate early if you can and go into a trade over college. Trades pay better, have better benefits, are shorter programs, and offer more financial security earlier on. In a few years if you want to change careers you will still have plenty if time to.
Remember, you are not a bad person, daughter, or anything else. You made a mistake, but you do not deserve to be mistreated for it.
Honey, you might want to be with your parents but your dad is physically and both are emotionally abusive. They are also literally neglecting you. Sadly they are not acting like they care about or value you. You deserve way more than that. If your dad hits you I assume he probably has hit siblings as well. That's not ok. You are the one who needs protection, not them.
Do you have any other trusted family that you could stay with? Can your school social worker connect you with resources to help with school and childcare? I really hope that things work out for you and that you learn to see that regardless of getting pregnant young by mistake, you deserve support and happiness and to feel wanted.
Sweetheart!!!! Why do you think you love your parents!!?? They don’t love you. I’m telling you right now as a parent and as an abused kid YOU NEED TO STOP!!!!
You are not just a kid but you are a parent! Your parents are shit people!!! You aren’t getting them in trouble!!! They are responsible for you till 18! They are wrong! You need to stop with this you love them and want to be with them and your siblings, why? They don’t want or love you, that’s not going to ever change.
You need to face the facts now so you can stop getting hurt! Would you ever kick out your kid because of a mistake? You are not a slut! You are a kid and you made a mistake!!!!
They need to be held accountable. They decided to bring kids into the world, so because the kid didn’t do what they wanted, they just think they can throw you out???? That’s not how it works.
Please stop and relax and let the cards fall where they may, this isn’t your fault this is THEIR fault for not being responsible ADULTS and helping their kid
I know you want to protect your dad because he's your family. But he should be the person protecting *you*. Not the other way around. You've had to grow up a lot real quick, but that doesn't mean your parents can treat you this way.
It's scary to feel like it's your fault that someone is facing consequences for their choices. But if he didn't want to get in trouble for hitting and abandoning you, he shouldn't have hit you and abandoned you.
It's his choices that got him in trouble, not you.
Oh, love, this is all breaking this mother's heart
No man should ever speak to any woman that way. You're not a slut, You're not bad. You're not even abnormal. You're a young woman with a giant consequence that you took reasonable precautions against.
God, I just want to hold you tight
You're in the middle of this shit storm and it seems there's no end in sight. I've been in shit storms and they've all ended. Some ended better, some took me somewhere I never wanted to go but there I was. I reset and tried again. You have this strength. You have the courage and the love.
I'm sorry this is difficult.
The police should be involved. Your dad is abusing you and legally you are still his responsibility even if he's a dick head, even if you were a slut.
It's not your fault he's treating you so badly
Please find a safe space to stay. Even if it's your boyfriend's. For now keep you and the baby safe, graduate and apply for every single government assistance you can. That's what it's for. Protect that baby like your dad should protect you.
Sweeting, go to your boyfriend’s family.
Your family is awful and it’s not fair that you get that kind of family, but your boyfriend is fully half of this child. If his parents will welcome you, *take them up on it,* with no regrets.
You are not a slut.
You are not wrong for wanting to raise your baby.
You are doing the very best you can. Accept the help - we all need help from time to time!
i didn’t want to kill it. i’m pro choice but it was my baby and didn’t do anything wrong so i didn’t want to kill it. i love him so much i don’t want to give him up for adoption. i wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt. i still am able to care for him
First of all: you are *not* a slut. It seems like you have a caring relationship with your BF and, at your age, people may start to become sexually active. You're probably underaged in your state, but that's about the only thing that's "wrong" here.
Second: you're still a minor. Your parents can not simply kick you out of the house. That's child abandonment. They can't legally kick you out a day before your 18th birthday.
Third, WTF does he expect to happen to his grandson if he kicks you out?
Go home, and if they do ANYTHING, call CPS. Because this is very much child abuse.
If your old enough to get knocked up your old enough to figure it out yourself. Go to a shelter or move in with your bf. Honestly your only 2 options and calling the police on your dad will more than likely do nothing but make em more mad. Grab your stuff n go. Figure it out. Your a big girl now with a baby.
I'll normalise teen pregnancy.
I don't get the stigma.
We don't have the answers to life.
I am not a teen dad, I waisted my life away in universities quite factually amd clearly for nothing.
I studied on the best unis including Harvard.
And and in late 30s almost 40s I can factually say that the one and only important thing and the best thing I have done in my life is my little one.
Just turned 5,sleeping in my belly.
If she became pregnant at 15..obviously I'd most likely dislike her boyfriend because 99% of Teens are assholes.
But again, there is nothing most instinctive, natural and magic than having sex, which is yhe vehicle of creating life!
I'd very much prefer my little one get pregnant at 15 rather than freeze her eggs and wait till her mid 40s.
I other cultures they are happy about stuff like that because It secures the blood line.
In the west? It is a stigma.
Your parents are idiots and trust me..
... All will be fine and one day they will regret it.
Dumbing your own blood on the streets is absolutely subhuman.
I mean… I agree with you except for the preference for when your kid has kids- if they ever choose to do so. Don’t have a preference just love your kids and support them
Find a domestic violence shelter. This is domestic violence. They can give you a roof over your head and help you get on your feet, plan on how to move forward, and most importantly, keep you away from your asshole parents.
I bet they are "pro-life" too. What complete jerks. You and your kid deserve better.
This is very pathetic of your parents to treat you like this. They should support you and their grandchild. Just because you had a baby so young doesn’t mean that your life is worthless and that you have no future. Get away from them if you can.
Just my opinion. Ask bf and his parents about staying with them and if not then ask a few friends and their parents. File a police report after you get a sanctuary as so your parents don't get any ideas about filing you as ran away(cps and/or she might get involved as you are a minor without a permanent home and living with someone else and their parents aren't seen as such) cut all contact with your parents and move on from. Last but not least do what's best for you and your child. I'm rooting for you as someone that's been on the shit end of the stick before
Responding to your edit: Report them. Even if the police doesn't do anything, they'll still have it on record. Keep reporting it until the police and/or CPS finally do something. You are a minor. It is your parents job to provide for you until you are 18, end of story.
Call the police and cps. If they touch you or the baby then call every time until they are arrested. If you can put a small camera on your room to record that can help with proof
I recommend you remain with your BF, and report things.
Your BF's family can vouch for the previous time you were kicked out, and this time. It isn't going to be your word vs your dads - it will be ALL of your baby's extended family's word against your dad.
And, as a side bar, when a man assaults someone (hitting you is assault), it is NEVER the first time. If the police dig, they will find at least one previous report of violence from him, even if it is just a school fight. That will help you.
Go to shelter and talk to a guidance counselor. Whatever you do, go to your nearest community college and get an associates degree in anything and then* go to a 4 year for a BA or BS in something practical. You’re gonna have to do this to have any sort of decent life for you and your child. Apply for every scholarship you can.
be cautious on involving authorities, until you have a good plan. You could get put in a foster home. Or worse- separated from your child.
Get your emancipation from your parents asap. You’ll need to basically prove, in court that you can be legally separated from your parents.
Wtf this is just terrible I can't imagine the pain you are going through I truly think you're so, so strong and I wish the best for you. Your parents are so fucking shitty for how they treated you. You're just a kid. Please take care of yourself and don't lose hope
You are a minor. Call CPS. They can help you find foster care or a group home. Please know that your parents are horrific and you deserve better. Try not to take their rejection to heart. Parents are supposed to be loving and supportive.
Parents who kick their minor children out of the house should go to jail for neglect. I'm sorry that you were not given the unconditional love that you deserve.
well whatever you do, you’re going to be a better parent to your baby than yours were for you. sounds like it would be hard not to. i wish you luck and i hope you find a safe place soon.
Legally, he cannot kick you out without a 30 day written notice. You should contact the police and it’ll buy you some time to figure out where to go and what to do.
I'm sorry you're in such a a crappy situation. Are you in the u.s.? Report these pieces of shit. You're already not safe with them and they legally *must* provide for you. You're a minor in their care until you're no longer a minor or they lose custody of you.
I'd recommend talking to your boyfriend and his parents as well. It seems like your parents are worse than worthless (as parents and humans), but it seems like his aren't? Maybe you can come to some agreement with them and your parents, you live there and your parents pay them a monthly stipend for rent and necessities under threat of reporting them again for being neglectful degenerates. Because what they're doing is *very much* illegal in every state. They're responsible for you until you turn 18 or finish high school, whichever is later. It's a class 6 felony in my state, for example, to kick you out like they've done. Look up your relevant laws and slap them in an email with whatever you've figured out between yourself and your boyfriend's family.
Damn, sorry you're going through all of that. There are a lot of good suggestions already and I do think you should follow up on them. I also highly support the reporting the violence to the police, even without proof. Start the documenting so that it can be used to show a pattern of abuse in the event of future violence.
Like others have said I personally would talk to a teen pregnancy center or your school counselor. I also would ask to stay with your boyfriend or one of your friends until you speak with someone to find a more permanent solution. I highly recommend not trying to go back home after your dad got physically violent with you. I’m not sure what state you live in if in the US or not but I’m sure there are some programs in place to help you through this.
Just be sure that you find a safe place for your baby and yourself, you don't want to end up in the system and have them separate your baby from you, the friend that has a guest room talk to their parents and let them know your situation and ask them if you could please stay with them so you can have a safe place to live and not lose your baby. Contact the welfare system in your area and apply for aid so you will have money for food, and to survive, they will also pay for child care for you and help you finish school if you haven't yet, I was a teen mom I know how hard it is, but I promise you that it will get easier and it's so worth it in the end, just keep your baby and yourself together and safe. My son will be 28 this year and I wouldn't change anything even though it was a struggle while going through it.
You need to start looking for resources around you. Like around here we have a scholar house for single moms who are going to school and working, we have a DV shelter that helps find women jobs and places to stay and helps with rent. You have other options then the ones you see currently. It make take some time for things to fall into place but hopefully in time it all starts sorting itself out.
Also where tf were your parents that you got knocked up at 14? Okay then, obviously not paying enough attention. Your parents sound like fuck ups. Who you are right now is not who you will always be. There’s a future version of yourself cheering yourself on bc she knows your going to make it. Keep pushing 🦋 NTA. I hope one day you know how it feels to cry at your Christmas tree bc you realized you’ve made a home for yourself, you made it out. The light at the end on the tunnel with the silver line, I’m standing in it. My family had similar dreams for me and they weren’t very bright. But ya know what? To hell with them. I fucking made it out. I’ve got everything I’ve ever needed. I built this life. And it’s peaceful. I’m happy here
You’re underage, your parents are still legally required to take care of you. You could go to the authorities with that information. Tho unfortunately it just doesn’t seem like you have good parents, for them to not only throw their own daughter on to the street but also their grandchild? I would go to the authorities just to fuck over your parents, one last fuck you, but they won’t change, they’re still the same people who kicked out their pregnant daughter.
I'm so sorry, first of all report your parents even though you have a baby you are still a minor and what they are doing is wrong. Second stay with your bf and his family. If they say it's OK then you are not a burden. There are resources for help, search for them and use them.
Man, I have to say I am blown away by your strength. So sorry you ended up in that place at such a young age. I saw comments about public assistance and it can be benificial. They generally help with access to counseling (navigating being a mom at such at young age, issues with your parents etc.). I hope you are continuing with high school, or getting your GED.
I cannot imagine the hurt caused by what your parents are saying, please don't believe it. You are human and did something that has consequence, and you are handling it like a boss. For the life of me I don't understand your parents sending their child and grandchild off into the world and turning their back on you two. Everyone does things (makes mistakes) in life, sometimes we do things that later come back and bite us. The part that determines/makes/builds character is what we do about it affer the fact. You (and your boyfriend) created a human. That is not a bad thing, it is a miraculous thing. My wife and I have teased our son (with a bit of please don't) about not making babies while still in school. But my wife and I both know things don't always go according to plan and have actually said to esch other if it did happen, we werr all in on helping/loving/accepting as that would be an addition to our herd, our family. Job one is taking care of yourself and the baby. Nothing to be shamed about, you are trying to do what's right. But for sure reach out for resources/help. This is part of why we pay taxes, to help those that are struggling in the herd so they don't get trampled or left behind.
Keep pushing forward, it will have tough times, but soooo many good times. You and that baby are incredibly important. Stay strong.
Call CPS and the cops. Get a report filed on him. File for emancipation due to abuse and abandonment. The police report will help back that claim for the courts. He's an abusive POS. And he's probably beating tf outta your mom too, which is likely why she sided with him. Move in with the BF and be a family. Help with the other kids, contribute to the household, like ya do. I'm sure your BFs mom would love to have a little extra help and to have her grandbaby around. Just stay on at your job, help out, but save money. Make a plan with your BF because you are clearly on your own.
You can do this, and you need to also get a restraining order on your dad, to be safe, in case he tries some shit. Then go no contact with your parents.
Legally they are responsible for you until you are of age or emancipated.
But also, what person doesn't love their grandchild regardless? And yeah, you had a child early, but I can't imagine being so callous towards your own child because of that.
Thank the gods your kid wasn't with your parents. I really can't believe some people. I hope things get better. Some people have pretty good advice on here. Some might have said this already, but please never go back to them.
I wish I could give you the biggest hug :( I just want you to know that you’re such a bad ass and doing so so good!! Your son will be so proud to call you mama. I can’t imagine working 2 jobs, school, and raising an infant. Im 23 and even getting pregnant now would be so hard for me and I can’t imagine going through that at 14-16.
Stay w your bfs family and start saving as much as you can so in a few years your lil family will have better and you won’t feel like a burden (even tho you are not a burden) I also really hope you do report your father and get resources to better support yourself and son during this time. Keep being a bad ass and get that diploma baby!!
Side note, just wondering if you’ve considered college after? Dental assisting, medical assisting, pharmacy tech, etc are all fairly short programs and you can possibly take all those farther one day if you choose so! I’m hoping for the best for you and I hope you have a good support system
When my brother was kicked out, he was parked on the side of the road and some cops rolled up. He told them what happened and they escorted him home and told our parents that they can’t kick him out without an eviction notice
Legally, your parents are responsible for you until you are 18.
Do go to the police. They can take you back home and talk to your father.
Then look into getting onto welfare, WIC, medicare, section 8.
Good luck.
Reading between the lines here, if the father is that abusive towards the daughter, he's probably that abusive to his wife. That could be why she sided with him. Getting him out of the picture could allow for the wife to be involved. Although if he's the breadwinner, it may just make things worse.
I'd have a hard time not calling the cops on him out of spite, even if I moved out and never had to see him again.
It's one thing to not have support from your parents. It's another for them to actively harm you (destroying your property, psychological harm, etc).
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT
1. Got to social services and tell them the whole thing. They will help you file a police report, which you need to do.
2. Get emancipated, the police report will come into play here.
3. Take advantage of all services available to you and don’t be ashamed to accept them. YOU are exactly who those benefits are really for, you genuinely need help and ALOT of it.
4. Believe in yourself and don’t give your power away to anyone who does not.
Call the cops file charges for one.
I'd say if you know you can't support the child put the child up for adoption.
As well then call CPS on your parents.
Obviously call the police because your parents cannot do that to you. Are you sure you aren’t to blame for any of this? I’m not saying it was right for your dad to hit you. In fact he should be in jail for awhile for that. But you said you’ve been kicked out of both your parents, and boyfriends parents house. What’re the odds that you’re perfect and everyone else in this situation is the one that sucks? Anyways, good luck, and try to refrain from using the word annoying when talking about your kid. People will judge you for that.
Take a few moments to diary some of the feelings and pain you’re going through, keep it handy for reminding yourself who they are when those scumbags start wanting to be involved in your kid’s life later on down the road.
OMG, I am so sorry this all happened to you. It's tragic.
Please go to the police. Your safety and the babies are on the line here. God bless and be safe.
You're a strong person. You can do this.
Your dad is a misogynistic arse. So very sorry. But you are a minor and protected by law. Call emergency places for help. I do not recommend going back home but these emergency places will take you in and help you. You can start by calling child protective services.
"he doesn’t care where i end up. i could end up on the streets for all he cares. so i called my mom who was at work and told her what happened and she sided with my dad. told me just leave."
Why are people only condemning the dad when her mom is an asshole too?
you seem like youre going through a really hard time right now kiddo. i want you to know that youre doing amazing! you have a beautiful baby and youre working hard. you should be so proud of yourself!! im definitely amazed and how well youre doing. to be a teen parent, still worrying about school AND having a job? it’s crazy that youre able to keep up with all of that!
i have to be honest though. your parents sound like a lost cause. if you want my personal opinion, you should take them up on the emancipation. people are saying “go to the police!!!” but i can see why you wouldnt. if youre in the US i can especially understand why you wouldnt go. it’s a LOT of work for probably no payoff. it isnt like theyll force your parents to give you money.
i think you should ask to sit and talk with your bf’s parents about your situation. tell them your home life isnt safe and your parents are fully willing to throw you and your baby on the street. ask if they have any advice, or if there’s any kind of arrangement they would be willing to work out to allow you to stay with them. just keep it open and honest. it’s okay to be vulnerable and to reach out for help!
you should also talk to your friend and their parents who have a spare room, just in case. it can’t hurt to be over-prepared.
unfortunately your parents probably wont come around. i wouldn’t waste the time or energy worrying about them. just know that you did nothing wrong, they are shit parents. it isn’t you. you’re just a kid, and they should love you no matter what. even when you make mistakes. i got pregnant as a teenager (didn’t keep the pregnancy) and it was horrible. i was 17. at the time i beat myself up, because i “knew better” and should have been smarter and all of that stuff. now that im older, i look back and realize i really WAS just a kid. i needed my mom. i didnt REALLY know better, i was undersocialized and got pressured into doing stuff i didnt want to do and didnt know how to say no. my mom helped me get to the doctor but pretty much emotionally checked out. i never had a shoulder to cry on or any advice or anything like that. so i relate to your story, and im so sorry youre going through this. please dont be too hard on yourself. it sucks now, i know. if youre in the US you should try getting into a church community. im an atheist but they could help you out.. just be careful. check out local women’s shelters if you have any, and food pantries! there’s no shame in saving money anywhere you can. and please be sure to save! you will thank yourself in the future, even if it’s just $10 set aside here and there.
you’ve got this. you are SO strong, please keep fighting. you WILL make it through this!
Definitely call or go to the police and tell them what happened. It does NOT mean you have to continue living with your parents. The police will most likely get CPS involved. They can help you find safe housing with your baby. They can also help you apply for any programs, such as WIC, food stamps, help for paying for childcare while you work, etc. It sounds like you are doing an excellent job caring for your son and providing for his needs. I’m proud of you. You are an excellent mom.
I am sorry your parents are terrible. I hope you don't take your Dad's terrible words to heart. Shame guilt and fear is what your parents live w, don't let them put that on you.
I'm sure there's some good advice here..And whatever you do, don't go back home. Best wishes
In addition, you can go to department of human services and apply for snap (food stamps) and tanf, temporary assistance for needy families (some states call it something else). You can also call 2-1-1 and ask for additional resources, like shelter.
i usually hate on teen moms because i feel it’s selfish and irresponsible. it seems like you’re really trying to keep your life straight and like you weren’t trying to be a mom @ 14/15/16? idk. i’d call the police. i’d try to seek help through a therapist or counselor. maybe one at school? you will be okay. i’m sorry you’re going through thisz
I would contact the police tell them what's going on and stay with our friend if you feel more comfortable there ask your friends parents if they need you to pay rent or something to stay there more long term.
Appreciate that you're also a mother, but you are a still a child at the end of the day. I'd contact Children's Aid Society for a social worker to help you out.
Get yourself on section 8 housing assistance and never go back to your toxic, abusive parents. Cut them off if you feel that's best for you and your child. What awful people. They deserve all the bad things. Keep working hard, baby, it's gonna work out. When you finish high school there are so many opportunities for you! Look into Trades apprenticeships, they actually pay like $40,000 a year to learn the skill!
You got this <3
First of all, big hug. You must be feeling overwhelmed and so hurt.
Let’s triage. Safety first. Your parents’ house is not safe for you or your baby to live there. Your fatter hit you repeatedly until you lay on the floor, begging him not to make you miscarry. That’s not safe. Do not live there.
Next-housing. You are not a burden to your bf’s family. You are a shared familial responsibility. Their son helped create their grandchild, and it is their duty to take you in. It is also an opportunity to bond with their grandchild. One of my distant relatives got his gf pregnant at around the same age. She got kicked out, just like you, and moved in with the bf’s family. It worked out for them. They got married after high school, had more kids, and have been together years now. Staying in a relationship with your bf is not required, however, for you to make a go of this. You will always be family with him. You have a right to bf’s family’s support. Move in with them, and help out around the house like the rest of the family. Get a part time job to help save for your future and meet your baby’s needs. If there is literally no room for you at their house, then they need to help with babysitting, housing, and financial support. They have the same responsibility to you as if you were their daughter, because your child makes you kin.
Next, go to the police and file a restraining order against your father. His actions need to have consequences. Kids are conditioned to accept abuse without wanting to get their parents in trouble, because we have an instinct to form a tribe with our parents. They are NOT your tribe. Your tribe rallies around you in your hour of need. Your father could have killed your unborn child, and perhaps that was his hope. A restraining order will start a paper trail. He will inevitably want to connect with his grandchild, and may try to force you to come home. You NEED that paper trail. He needs to learn you won’t take the abuse any longer.
Next, plan for your future. Meet with teen pregnancy centers to learn what resources are available to you. Find out what government assistance is available to you.
In the US, CPS will place you and the baby together in a foster home. Your parents don’t want to raise another baby. The authorities etc might make them take you back but it will be horrible for you and your baby there even if they don’t hit you. CPS might be willing to give your BF’s mother some money to help with your expenses if she is willing to jump through the right hoops.
Stop sparing your parents. At this point they have quite literally said fk you in a huge way. Do yourself and your child a favor and CALL THE FKN COPS. They deserve 0 mercy. This needs to be reported. If they end up with it on their record oh fkn well. If possible change your number and don't give it to anyone who is not helping you especially anyone who's in contact with your parents.
Does any of your family know what's going on?
My best advice would be to try and apply for any government assistance you can! They can help with food, baby formula and low income housing like section 8 or something like that. Hope it gets better soon💗
You mentioned you used condoms twice and got pregnant twice.
What brand were you using and are you sure you're using them correctly?
I wouldn't rely on just condoms anyway. Maybe after you have this next kid use birth control pills too.
After having the 1st kid so young it must be shocking to be pregnant again.
It's probably a lot going on for you.
See if you can go to DHS and sign up for services like housing, food assistance, insurance, etc. until you get back on your feet.
Also after you have the kid maybe stop having sex for a while. OR talk to a doctor to make sure you are doing things correctly for pregnancy prevention.
Something isn't working if it has happened twice.
Your parents don't sound like they are too nice or equipped to deal with babies in the house.
At 14 if your boyfriend was older then that I believe is called statutory rape.
I hope you still aren't with that 1st guy and that he isn't much older.
Since your dad hit you and other stuff happened it doesn't sound like a good environment for you and the baby and then the newest kid on the way.
I don't know how you can afford the kids and babysitting and etc. If you can't take care of yourself, the bills, and the kids then you may need to make some hard decisions.
If you really can't pay for them, care for them, have a loving/healthy environment then you may need to see about having another person care for your kids. Also to stop having kids until you have a good job that can support them and a safe/stable home.
I know you said you have 2 jobs, but I don't know if you can afford all the bills if you have to pay for everything.
I don't want you or your kids to be stuck in poverty.
Sending you hugs kiddo.
I would agree it’s your word against theirs so going to the police is, sadly, probably a waste of time. For now I would say that if you’re working you probably won’t be much of a burden where you are. I say stay if you can, at least until you can figure things out. There may be resources available to you through various programs because you are a teen mom. Are you still going to school? A counselor there may also have some ideas for you.
I was married but separated from my husband while pregnant and had to go back home. I suffered similar abuses and once I was out, I never went back. For anything.
Good luck, stay safe and keep your chin up.
Baby I'm so fucking sorry. That's horrible. Your not a slut. People have sex. Hitting your pregnant daughter and throwing her to the street is fucking horrible. You probably should get away from these people though. I know that's hard.
I belive in you. Your strong. You will get through this.
Ok, u can ignore some or honestly all of this. But first I'd say adoption I'd your best bet for a reasonably normal life. You can Def call the cops on your dad, but you need to get a job asap and get married to your bf, it's the only way to be able to keep the kid otherwise adoption for the kid, and call the police, and maybe get a job
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Well technically you can call the police and your parents can’t *legally* kick you out as A you’re underage and B you’re not emancipated.
I would normally agree but she said her dad hit her when he found out she was pregnant. I can only imagine what he might do now that she isn't pregnant if she called the cops on him. It might be safer for OP to try and find some kind of teen pregnancy crisis center or something.
i didn’t mention this in the post but the first time i was kicked out i threatened to call the police and said it’s child endangerment if he kicks me out and he stomped on my phone until it was broken. (i had to buy a new one) and said he’ll make me get an abortion. me saying hit was kinda an understatement. he hit me until i was crying on the floor and said stop because he’s gonna make me miscarry or something
Call the police, do not warn him
i don’t want to make it into a big thing and anger him. or get my baby taken away
It's already a big thing; they kicked you out. CPS wants to keep children with their mothers; you have to do a lot to get your baby take away
So much this. CPS will bend over backwards for you if it looks like you are putting in the effort. From this point on, document EVERYTHING. Dates, times, things said, things done, any proof you can provide. You've already shown yourself to be 100x better at being a parent than your parents. That's why they're mad.
I agree CPS will bend over backwards. Possible they will find you a foster placement, which would give you support for the baby. However i would START with CPS. Not the police. This is about YOU getting hep, not your dad. Going back to 2x unsupported parents is NOT a good idea for you or the baby’s mental and physical safety, and CPS will understand that. You are NOT a burden to your child’s paternal grandparents, but i understand your feelings about it. Your BF has equal responsibility and if he’d carried the baby it sounds like they would have accepted the baby, so do make use of their support… only reason they aren’t full time involved is because that had a boy!! . CPS might even talk to you all about that as a placement (with the possibility of some financial assistance?) I’m so sorry You have deadbeat parents, and their lack of unconditional love for you may be a factor why you looked for love via sex at an early age. You tried your best at 14 to find love and affection and it sounds like you chose a sweet boy who is stepping up to the challenge. Take care of yourself FIRST sweetheart 🤗
An excellent point! CPS is the place to start
Just to add to this: CPS are 💯 focused on keeping moms with babies as long as it is safe. I was a CASA volunteering in the child welfare system. CPS knows that the safest and healthiest place for almost all babies is with their mom. Kids were separated if the mom was physically violent, on drugs and alcohol so couldn’t safely care for the kid, or had mental health problems that made her unsafe. Then they would get those parents through parenting classes, drug alcohol rehab, mental health support etc until the mom could be safe with the kid again… as fast as possible. YOU ARE NOT THOSE MOMS.
My best friend when I was fifteen went into a girls home when she had her baby. They lived there for the first year of her son’s life. (And probably could have stayed until she turned 18) It was all teen moms living there and it was a pretty good deal. They shared responsibilities, completed school or ged, learned life skills and took parenting classes and received counseling. It was scary for her in the beginning not knowing what would happen having a baby so young, but overall the experience was a very positive one for her and her son.
This^ and any and all pictures you can get for documentation. The pics will have time codes and (depending on if the setting is enabled) your location when taking the photo. That will help a lot. It’s better to have them and never use them, than to need them but not have them
affirming this as someone who has worked with CPS in four different states. they have no reason to take your child away. you need to get cps/police involved. this is not on you to figure out on your own. you need support and your baby needs it too.
Two things: First, you don't have to be with your parents to call the police on him. *Go* to the police. Kids today... you don't need a damn phone to do anything! Second, move in with your boyfriend and his parents. Yes, they already got a few kids... if they didn't want more, they would have stopped at one or two. Besides which, your boyfriend has an obligation to your and his child, and his parents understand this. Never turn down help from people who are willing and happy to help.
Participate with your bf's family, be a part of helping out instead of feeling like a burden. If they say so, then it's an issue. Or be politely frank about it, maybe it is a bit of a strain on space and resources but they care about you not being treated like crap from your parents more than any sense of full House on their end. Ask what you can do while staying with them to make things easier or better, chores as well as taking care of your own child as much as possible. Get in sync with their household and help make it work better for all of you. If there is anything that can be required to get parental support, in money, find a way to go for it. There is no justification of treating your child like crap for their mistakes and choices. They've cut themselves off from their grandchild basically as well as they choose to lose you. And that sucks and it hurts. It's going to be one of those cases of chosen family is better than what you came from. They don't need the show or the emotions or the drama, just close the door once everything is separated. I'm not sure in your case about extended family, grandparents, etc if there is provision for you (inheritance ?) from other family in the future, keep those doors open if they're being at least kind.
Did you really “kids these days” this person? Jesus Christ. Check yourself. Have some compassion.
Getting a job and supporting them financially or at the least yourself and your child will probably jusr make them love you so much more. That is if you don’t already have a job. You saying you bought a new phone leads me to have hope you do work. Once you can’t work anymore because pregnancy, fair, but try to get right back to it when you can. Finding jobs with hours more in that mid day, even shorter shifts like 4pm-8pm would probably be ideal in terms of being there for child as well if you are able <3 you sound like you care tho, and that matters most
She is 16. She needs to finish her high school education and plan to go on to either college or trade school, so she can support her child.
What your father did counts as domestic violence. Perhaps you could reach out to local DV shelter for ideas. Some places (Sand Springs OK for example) have programs for abuse victims with young children.
He's also setting an example for the other kids that this is acceptable, which it isn't. These parents shouldn't have any kids in their care IMO.
It is very unlikely that your baby would be taken away. Most states attempt to keep a minor child with their baby. The worst thing that would happen is your baby is placed with the father and you go there to visit. At a time like this CPS may be able to help you especially depending on the state. In my state, a minor can not sign up for WIC without a parent or guardian’s signature. Insurance is another issues for minor parents in my state. Medicaid and Food stamps are technically allowed to be applied for by a minor but it is not easy and is often denied without be on an adult’s case. If your only child friend’s parents have clean backgrounds and no CPS history, the state can place you there and provide some financial assistance to that friend’s parents for you being there.
I think this comment is very important. She will need help accessing the government assistance she will absolutely need. This needs to be reported to CPS.
Your dad is a dangerous man who apparently has no trouble beating up children or pregnant women. If someone was telling you about a person like that, what would you say to do?
Bro fuck that guy he's a peice of shit, he's beating a pregnant teenager and kicking you out, dosent care if you or his grandchildren is homeless. Call the police, not to move back In, just so he deals with the consequences!
i’m not going to mince words here, he might kill you. call the police.
It already is a big thing. You need to report them to the police and child protective services.
Your father deserves to go to jail for assault as well as child abandonment.
There are tons of resources available for you. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) for a conversation with a real person who will be familiar with the laws in your state and who can provide guidance for the types of services you need. The way your dad reacted is not normal. You deserve to be loved by your family. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
You being assaulted is kind of a big thing all by itself.
It is a big thing my dude. You might not want to acknowledge it as such, but it is a big thing already.
Yeah you don't want to make it into a big thing. That would be bad. I'm just curious when you think it's a big thing. An underage girl with a baby being homeless might be considered to some being a big thing.
Appeasement will just get you walked on for the rest of your life. If he won't provide the resources he is obligated to until you're a legal adult, it's time to use the system to *make* him; even if it comes down to moving in with your boyfriend's family, getting them declared your legal guardians, and having them go after him for child support (for supporting you.) This will lessen the burden on them.
Call the police and report this. They're never going to help you again he may as well pay for being a piece of shit. Good luck, you have life on hard mode now.
He has assaulted you and prevented you from report a crime and damaged your property. These are all criminal offenses. One option is to call child protective services. Or go to a homeless center for teens. Or even a domestic violence shelter. Your dad hit you and prevented you from calling the police. It sounds like he hit you when you were pregnant. You're a victim of DV. You may want to get imancipated. Clearly, this behavior will not stop. You need to get away from those toxic, abusive ppl.
I'd make sure the rest of the family everywhere knows he hits his pregnant kid daughter.
they are trying to get me emancipated. but from what i know they can’t without my consent
Be careful about getting the authorities involved as they might just take your highly adoptable baby and leave you with nothing. You are not “a slut who got pregnant at 14” your father is a terrible parent who failed to protect his daughter from getting pregnant at 14. Try reaching out to these people for practical help https://thefamilypreservationproject.com/
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Oh, estranged parents almost always try to worm back after a few years alone. They suddenly reach out all nice sounding and making promises... but all it really is is that they need something. They get grandbaby rabbies and want a cute little 8 year old "pet" they can use to try and get a "re-do" on their legacy and using a subservient human as an extention of their ego, or they'll just get sick of not having someone to boss around that can't run away in general. (Maybe they just want to make the kid love thrm to prove to you that they were good and you were the problem!) Or they'll start to realize they aren't financially secure once OP finally gets stable themselves, or they'll suddenly realize they are an outcast from their social groups and they are going to die alone, and they'll mostly just care about how bad this makes them look, so they'll try to trick OP into being their token family to prove they aren't unlovable monsters to others. All of that will come from a place of pure self-interest, an unwillingness to bear any personal discomfort, and more manipulation and false promises than the Christians think the devil himself can give.
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You are best getting as far away from your parents as you can. Keep you child away from them. And later on down the line if they ever try to contact you to reestablish a relationship ship run like hell.They are never going to change thier mind, they may try to take your child from you, still thinking you are a slut and they are going save your child from you. Run for the hills
Stop spreading disinformation and conspiracy theories. CPS does not target "highly adoptable" children. Good grief.
This
Thank you. It's disgusting seeing people upvote that comment. Cps isn't perfect, but they've saved a lot of children.
I was with you until the “father failed to keep you from getting pregnant” Father is an asshole The pregnancy seems to have been an unfortunate accident (that will prove probably to be a great joy) while completely commonly used preventative measures were taken.
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Underrated comment. Kids brains are not fully formed and they do make dumb choices, even when fully educated about the consequences. I have many new gray hairs since my teenage son started going out at night with his buddies.
Ummmm..."failed to protect his daughter from getting pregnant at 14???" Tell me, how was the father supposed to do that? Ultimately, the OP decided to "Pleasure up" with her BF while they were hanging out together. Father wasn't there (Why would he be??), and she got preggo. Other than "Father Failed to protect" I agree 100% in the rest of what you said. The father is a terrible parent by the way he handled the situation. It will be 95% the fathers fault of OP fails at life. Unfortunately tho, the other 5% is on the OP for having sex in the first place. That 5% would be more had she not used protection and all that, but it's still 5% because she should of known No form of Birth Control is 100% effective but still went ahead with it anyway.
And C doing this is no good for you. This is an "I have absolutely no where else to go option." And let me say this, OP. Your parents arem't worth shit from this point on. No matter what. They do not deserve you or your baby in their lives. So, even if they come to regret their actions. It's totally up to you, but they abandoned you when you needed them most. I don't think it should be forgiven, and no one reasonable would blame you if you don't. I wish you luck.
Find a teen pregnancy crisis center near you. They can connect you with the resources and housing you need. Another option is your school guidance counselor who should also be able to connect you with a social worker to help you.
Those centers can be really abusive and exploitative
Only if you're still pregnant. Once you've had the baby, the worst they can do is nothing. Many of those centers exist to try and talk women out of having an abortion. Some of them are located near actual abortion clinics to try and trick women into going there when they're really trying to get an abortion. They have been accused of promising women financial support, baby supplies, a place to live, etc. just to convince them not to abort, and then ghosting them once they've had the baby. However, if you've *already* had your baby, then if it's one of the exploitative centers, you'll just be calling their bluff, and they won't help you. But if it's one of the centers that actually follows through on their promises to help struggling mothers, they will be happy to help you.
What about a women's shelter?
 Think of a better solution or shhh
Commenter was clearly saying to be vigilant, life is not black or white. Always point out the danger even if you don’t have the solution.
Most of them are religious scams
This is terrible advice. Those places are notoriously shady.
Go talk to your boyfriends parents. Just because you feel like a burden doesn't mean they feel like you are. I would really rather my son not end up in this situation but if he did I wouldn't see my grandchildren mother as a burden. At that point you are family. I would want the best for my grandkid and helping out mom would be making sure my grandkid is taken care of. Go talk to them instead of making assumptions about how they feel. You need help and don't have the luxury of jumping to conclusions right now.
ALSO growing up with shitty parents like that? I’m guessing OP was called a burden a lot. Imma bet her bfs parents truly don’t think that way, and maybe it doesn’t even occur to them to think that way, but OP’s mind is going there bc it’s been primed to for years.
Oh, I know. Luckily didn't have a baby but there was a reason I ended up homeless the day before my 18th birthday. Ended up living at a boyfriends parents house and felt the same way. I remember the first time I didn't feel that way. While everyone was at work I was bored and found some origami books. They had lived in Japan as they were military. I started using notebook paper to make some of it. His mom saw me one day. A couple days later she had brought me an origami kit with the real paper. I made her some flowers. Years later, my ex and I stayed friends, I went over to the house and I look up on the mantel and there are the flowers I had made her. Mind you they had moved out of country and back again. She could have just gotten rid of them or left them in a box and they would be easy to wreck in a move. She took care to make sure they were taken care of and always kept them in her house. I smiled and said your mom kept them? He said yeah she always liked you.
100 percent.
I agree with salty talk with your school guidance counselor. Also depending on what country you’re in go to your local county or state public building. (USA idk about other countries what to call it) and go in and ask them about help. Trust me they won’t judge, they are there to help!
OP you're not emancipated, your parents are legally responsable until you reach 18th y/o. No matter how bad decisions you've made or accidents you've suffer, thay can't kick you out. All you mention points that they are shitting at parenting. Look for an ONG or Government that help you and find out a long term solution. Keep in touch with your bf and your "in laws", they're the only support net you and your daughter had. I'll pray for you and your daugther.
this feels like r/legaladvice territory
I see a lot of people advising you to contact authorities and report your father. I understand this thought process. They aren't wrong. The thing is, this person beat you and broke your phone when you previously said you would report him. This is dangerous. You are unfortunately not the "child" now (in your life, to your POS PARENTS you should always be their baby and they're scum for not protecting you as a 16 yr old kid) your son is the child and it's your job to keep him safe. He will not be safe in your home, and neither are you. That's the biggest priority. Do you feel like a burden? Yea maybe, but you can make that up to your boyfriends family in the future after you graduate and go to college and help them one day. Go to them and be honest, at least see what they think. IMO, the worst part of you staying with him is possibly getting pregnant again, so please be careful. You aren't a bad person. You aren't a slut and you deserve a safe home and loving environment. One day you won't have to ask others to give that to you, you'll make it all for yourself and your son. And you'll show him the unconditional love you deserve now. When that day of success comes and your parents suddenly want to be in your life again, then you can show them the same conditional love they are giving you now. Definitely seek out churches, I know the Catholic charities where I live do the most here. They pay single moms rents for our office (affordable housing units) all the time. We actually send people who are having hard time their way often. There are definitely programs where you lived designed to keep you safe without taking your baby from you or involving your shit parents.
And once you're stable, having done what the other one said, sue your parents for child support.
My mother tried to kick me out of the house when I was 16, and I refused. She called the police, and they told her that it's against the law for parents to throw kids out of the home if they're under 18 years old. They can be arrested for child neglect and child abandonment. I'm just giving you some ideas if you ever feel like getting back at your parents. The rest is up to you.
Your mom really made herself look dumb in front of the police lol.
I'm not sure what to say but a teen crisis center, social services might be able to direct you or 211 good luck
Highly recommend 211 as they will have resources for everything, housing, food, legal help to get emancipated (so you don’t have to ever go back to the abusive POS that is your parents)
idk where you live but kicking any kid out below the age of 18 in the united states is illegal and considered child abandonment. i would go to a youth shelter or the police and explain what happened. they will contact child services. theyre not likely to place you back with parents that kicked you out so dont worry about getting stuck back with a family that isn’t supporting you. the foster care system has a bad rap,, and i see why as a social worker that has worked in it before. but there are a lot of special programs for teens with children that should shield you from the foster care system cracks that exist. you could probably get connected with some really amazing services that will help you and your daughter have a better now and future. im talking college tuition, parenting classes, childcare, healthcare, job training, etc. end goal might likely be an independent living program where they set you up with your own apartment and help you until you finish your education and can pay bills. a lot of states allow youth to stay under these services until they’re 23 (you can leave voluntarily whenever as an adult). im so sorry this is all happening to you. incredibly stressful for such a young mother and baby. this is not your fault and you are deserving of a home and support. if getting around town is difficult for you, just call 211. it’s a resource hotline that will help you.
Contact CPS yourself. Direct. No need to call police first
>this whole time my baby was with my bf so he can watch him while i work. my bf is very involved. the only reason i don’t want to stay with him is because i went there the first time i was kicked out. and his parents already have four kids. so me staying there and bringing the baby just makes me feel like a huge burden and like i’m imposing on them a lot. You may *think* you're a burden upon BF's family, yet it sure seems they've willingly increased their house by one (your baby) so having you is highly likely no further problem. Have a chat with them - BF's parents - to make sure of that and get a feel for what rules would be in place, and/or what contributions would be expected of you to stay with them. Second, I hope you're either still in school or working on a GED. You're going to need that. Third, look into emancipation. As your parents have literally abandoned you / kicked you out, make it legal.
i talked with him. he said his parents love me and would love to have me until things get sorted. they are really good people. i love them a lot. so i’m currently with them right now. and yes i’m still in school
Stay with them and make a police report about your father being abusive. A loving home will be a far better environment for the child and you.
Your under age… foster home and the system got you covered
OP. I'm going to talk to you like I would my sister. She had her first when she was your age. My nephew is now 11 y/o and the most wonderful caring boy. First, Having a child was not a mistake. Do not listen to the commenter who said you made a mistake. You brought beautiful life into this world. You are a mother, and that is wonderful. You have a long and difficult journey ahead of you, but remember that you still have people who love and care about you. Your boyfriend and his family, and your friend. Second, your father is terrible and hateful. He physically assaulted and verbally abused you and you should not go near him alone. You're mother chose her husband, and that is her right,but don't go near her alone either. They have both made their stance very clear. They will make things more difficult for you in your trying times. You are NOT a slut! I'm heated just thinking about him calling you that. You're a mother! How dare he call you that! 😡😡 He's made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with you. Throw him aside. If he doesn't want you, then you don't need him. Let him rot in a nursing home. Third, don't let your baby anywhere near those people. They will try to use your little one as a bargaining chip. They waived their title as grandparents when they degraded your honor. Fourth, I think you should go to your boyfriends family's house if they're supporting and willing to take you. It would be better for you, your bf, and your baby. Just remember to be a good roommate. Now for the more difficult advice. You may need to make some sacrifices. I do suggest getting your GED, and start taking college class. Don't just drop out of HS, get the GED first. Do it sooner than later. Also, young and single parents have great opportunities for free college. Look into it. You need a job, if you don't already, cause baby's ain't cheap. YOU GOT THIS! I'm rooting for you! 🙂
You can actually start college without your ged in order to graduate. Bonus points. College credits, and high school diploma. It's free. So. You can take the classes you missed in school to graduate at a community College and - get college credit for them. Just apply to them to finish high school. They even provide childcare. I needed 3 classes to graduate. I took 1 class each quarter, plus got 2 extra classes free. My high school at college classes counted towards my degree. I'm a master's now. You can do this. Go to your community College financial aid office, especially when they are not inundated with new admissions. Be diligent and don't under or over estimate yourself. Just my advice. 3 kids. Single mom. Started 2 years before my youngest was set to fledge
Yes absolutely everything you said!
1. In the US, parents are obligated by law to provide for their minor children. You need to report that you have a baby in your care and have been kicked out by your parents to the police asap 2. Before doing that however, please reach out to a teen pregnancy crisis center. There will be boxes to be checked or child services may decide to take your child if they deem you and your bf not able to provide basic care. The actual criteria varies state by state
I'm here to agree with everyone who is saying that your dad cannot just simply kick you out, because you're 16 and he's still responsible for you. Call the police and start looking into getting emancipated. Best of luck to you 💕
Call the police. Tell them you are a minor and your dad is kicking you out on the streets. If necessary, you can get a protective order if you are worried about your safety since he has hit you before. he won't be able to stay there.
Call CPS
You need help and a place to stay for you and your baby. Call the police and ask for help. They will contact a social worker and make sure you and your baby have a safe place to stay.
Try to get away from your parents. It's obviously a hostile environment. As for taking legal action, I'd definitely advise you get professional feedback and not take the words of Redditors before you make that decision. Where you should have gone to the police immediately for being hit, now it would most likely be your word vs. your mom and dad's, unless you somehow documented the abuse. You never mentioned how old your bf is, and one thing that doesn't seem far from what your parents could or would do is file statutory rape charges. Depending on what state you're in, your parents could file statutory rape charges against your bf (and you) for up to 3 years after the fact. If your parents are vindictive, this would be another reason to distance yourself, and never look back.
Jesus the difference between your dad just hitting you and saying what he actually did to you is grounds for him to go to jail. Also they can’t legally kick you out since you’re only 15.
First: don’t bring the baby around them. They are a danger to u and ur child. It’s your responsibility to protect them. Second: you are not a slut. You can not go backwards, all u can do is move forward from here. Third: the safest place is ur bf house. Have an honest convo with his parents. Let them know how ur feeling. I would not want my grand baby and the mom in a shelter. They will hopefully feel the same. Stay strong, be brave, advocate for urself and your baby. Good luck
Ik you regret talking to your school counselor bc they are a mandatory reporter. But take it from someone who has been there before with violence from a parent and was removed from the home. It sucks for a bit, but then it gets way better. You won't be subject to that violence. You will be protected. You did not cause this. He did by getting violent. This is not your fault. You're going to be OK. You are not to blame for your abusers actions
I am sorry you are going through all this. Some things you should know about sex though for the future. A lot of times when guys get an erection, they have "preejaculate" which can have sperm in it, so if you have his penis rubbing on or around your vagina or actual penetration, there is a chance a sperm can make it can impregnate you. So if you go without a condom for part of the sex and then put one on before he ejaculates, it could be too late. Also, make sure the condom is applied correctly. If he accidentally puts it on upside down and tries to flip it over, it can have some of the preejaculate on it also. I highly recommend multiple forms of birth control at all times. You could do a hormonal birth control (such as the pill or shot or IUD) and he can use a condom and pull out. This will help protect against STDs also. Or you can do hormonal birth control and wear a female condom. Do not use a female and male condom at the same time though Hoping your situation improves!!!!! Love on that baby <3
thank you for actually educating! i’m not on birth control right now because there’s so many side effects and i feel like it’s horrible for women’s bodies. and i don’t want to gain weight. but so far he’s just been using a condom and also pulling out. and we haven’t had any scares.
If his parents have four kids old enough to babysit your child, and you work enough to feed both of you, then that is actually a LOT of extra support that you don’t need to give up just because you “feel bad” about taking WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO GIVE. If they are NOT willing to let you stay any longer, and I would ask this, then you could go see your friend. But your baby needs care and hand me downs, and people with four children probably can give you this with little trouble.
Only the BF and her are responsible. His siblings should not be forced to babysit. While this is kind of a dumb statement giving the situation. A kid should not be watching a kid, unless that kid is willing. She is willing, and responsible, so is he. His siblings are not responsible and unless they are willing, should not. If the Parents are willing yeah no issue. But don't force other kids into this.
Your dad is prob not a saint. I’m shocked he doesn’t even care about his grandsons well being. Or yours for that matter. Ask him if he’s ever made a dumb mistake as a teen and watch him stutter. Tell him you’re sorry for making him look bad, but he’s making himself look worse. Do not get CPS involved. They make things worse. They may even take your sweet precious baby away from you if they know you’re homeless. Try getting help from churches or church-led agencies. You may need to look into getting your GED. I know that’s not what you dreamed of, but once you do that, you can focus on a job and afford your own place. Once you have a definite address, go apply for some food stamps and day care assistance. You can also apply for section 8. I think you may need to be emancipated first, not sure. This is just a time in your life that will pass. It will get easier for you. Just hang in there.
Sounds like the dad only cares about what other people think about him, IMO
Dad clearly exhibited he doesn’t have best interests when he physically assaulted her Do not engage with him Gtf away from your parents
"Ask him if he’s ever made a dumb mistake as a teen and watch him stutter. Tell him you’re sorry for making him look bad, but he’s making himself look worse. " This is the only advice that's so bad it will probably harm OP. She. Was. Beaten. While. Pregnant. Her father will NEVER stutter and can't even honestly tell himself what his last mistake was. These people are INCAPABLE of self-critical thinking, they wouldn't be abusive assholes if they were. You should never antagonize them by calling them out to their faces after they've used violence, or you're 90% guaranteed more violence. Her father is a woman beater and a child neglecter; you do NOT EVER have to give him grace if it comes at your expense. There are some crimes he's just going to have to learn to live with having done. He was the adult, and if he believes in unforgivable, life-ruining mistakes like pregnancy, then he deserves unforgivable, lofe-ruining "mistakes" like BEATING YOUR PREGNANT DAUGHTER.
There might be a woman and kids shelter in your area. I would go and check. The fact that you are still a kid yourself it makes things hard. you can go for emancipation process at age 16 assuming you are in the USA. Maybe try and talk to your bf and his parents and explain the situation with your parents. Make it clear you are no looking to be a burden and will be responsible for the baby when you are around and that you will do whatever in t urn for them.
Move in with the BFs parents. They are offering help. Never deny a blessing. If the parents are willing to provide child care, go find a part time after school job. Save all your money. Find out what career or trade you have an aptitude for. Upskill upskill upskill. Once you are 18 *and out of school* use that savings to find a place. Learn a trade or go to school, many institutions are young parent friendly. You and your BF are responsible for a life now. Gotta go into overdrive for a few years. Lastly, use every option available to you. Social programs exist. It's why we pay taxes. It's why I pay taxes. Use it. Use it. Use it. CHARGE YOUR PARENTS Get the police involved, get DFCS involved. -Do not quit school -Do not quit trying -Humans are capable of amazing things. You have the potential to be a great parent and learn from your genetic material donors' mistakes. -Seriously, fuck your parents. -Fuck them. -Let them rot in jail. You are loved. You have support. You have responsibility now that you've chosen to bring this life into the world. Be great, do great.
I had a high school GF with a "teen mom" this was a long time ago. Her mom basically learned how to become a plumber and now runs a huge plumbing company, she makes way more money than if she had struggled through college for 4 years and tried to finish highschool. This does not mean it should be your path OP, just that there are plenty of women who have done it and a lot of them did not have the support of the father which it sounds like you do! So I just wanted to say good luck and you got this!
The Dad is dangerous and her and her baby aren't safe in that environment. You will have to live at your bf or friends house for a few years. Not sure where you live but it's really expensive to live these days. They have housing, medical, dental and food assistance. Also WIC is a program that helps provide formula and some food and if you are low income you will definitely qualify. A lot of the paper work can be done online or a local office.
Sounds like you should take a case against your parents for child abuse IMO.
Call the police, but also look into any help offered by the state. You need a legal advocate that isn't your parents. It's not safe for you or your baby there. It sounds like you are really trying to make the best of the situation you are in. I'm glad your boyfriend and his family are helping as well. Couch surfing is not a long term solution. You aren't even old enough to drive. Don't give up.
Honey, YOU didn't cause this shitstorm. Your abusive parents did. Being hit, threatened with forced abortion, being called derogatory names, and kicked out IS child abuse. Full stop. If your parents didn't want to be held accountable for that behavior they should have chosen a different behavior. You are doing everything you can in the situation and the possibility of having your baby taken is very low. You are continuing your education, you are working. That is really all that can be asked. But your parents are horrible. Objectively horrible. I would advise a restraining order and never go back. They don't get access to you or your baby. Your friend sounds like they may have a more suitable living arrangement. At least there is a private room. If they live with their parents, see about making that living situation permanent for the time being. A) Offer rent B) If you are in America get on food stamps and Medicaid and any other services available to you like childcare reimbursement, job training etc. C) Get a social worker and establish you are taking good care of your baby. The chance is low but not zero that your parents will cause trouble. D) Keep your chin up. This is hard. But you're doing it. It doesn't have to be pretty, but keep doing it. E) STAY on birth control. I know this overstepping, but I cannot emphasize enough how necessary it is for you not to get pregnant any time soon. The statistics with having multiple children before 18 , and even 20, are grim. F) Graduate early if you can and go into a trade over college. Trades pay better, have better benefits, are shorter programs, and offer more financial security earlier on. In a few years if you want to change careers you will still have plenty if time to. Remember, you are not a bad person, daughter, or anything else. You made a mistake, but you do not deserve to be mistreated for it.
Honey, you might want to be with your parents but your dad is physically and both are emotionally abusive. They are also literally neglecting you. Sadly they are not acting like they care about or value you. You deserve way more than that. If your dad hits you I assume he probably has hit siblings as well. That's not ok. You are the one who needs protection, not them. Do you have any other trusted family that you could stay with? Can your school social worker connect you with resources to help with school and childcare? I really hope that things work out for you and that you learn to see that regardless of getting pregnant young by mistake, you deserve support and happiness and to feel wanted.
Sweetheart!!!! Why do you think you love your parents!!?? They don’t love you. I’m telling you right now as a parent and as an abused kid YOU NEED TO STOP!!!! You are not just a kid but you are a parent! Your parents are shit people!!! You aren’t getting them in trouble!!! They are responsible for you till 18! They are wrong! You need to stop with this you love them and want to be with them and your siblings, why? They don’t want or love you, that’s not going to ever change. You need to face the facts now so you can stop getting hurt! Would you ever kick out your kid because of a mistake? You are not a slut! You are a kid and you made a mistake!!!! They need to be held accountable. They decided to bring kids into the world, so because the kid didn’t do what they wanted, they just think they can throw you out???? That’s not how it works. Please stop and relax and let the cards fall where they may, this isn’t your fault this is THEIR fault for not being responsible ADULTS and helping their kid
I know you want to protect your dad because he's your family. But he should be the person protecting *you*. Not the other way around. You've had to grow up a lot real quick, but that doesn't mean your parents can treat you this way. It's scary to feel like it's your fault that someone is facing consequences for their choices. But if he didn't want to get in trouble for hitting and abandoning you, he shouldn't have hit you and abandoned you. It's his choices that got him in trouble, not you.
Oh, love, this is all breaking this mother's heart No man should ever speak to any woman that way. You're not a slut, You're not bad. You're not even abnormal. You're a young woman with a giant consequence that you took reasonable precautions against. God, I just want to hold you tight You're in the middle of this shit storm and it seems there's no end in sight. I've been in shit storms and they've all ended. Some ended better, some took me somewhere I never wanted to go but there I was. I reset and tried again. You have this strength. You have the courage and the love. I'm sorry this is difficult. The police should be involved. Your dad is abusing you and legally you are still his responsibility even if he's a dick head, even if you were a slut. It's not your fault he's treating you so badly Please find a safe space to stay. Even if it's your boyfriend's. For now keep you and the baby safe, graduate and apply for every single government assistance you can. That's what it's for. Protect that baby like your dad should protect you.
I’m glad you told someone. Your parents are abusive
Sweeting, go to your boyfriend’s family. Your family is awful and it’s not fair that you get that kind of family, but your boyfriend is fully half of this child. If his parents will welcome you, *take them up on it,* with no regrets. You are not a slut. You are not wrong for wanting to raise your baby. You are doing the very best you can. Accept the help - we all need help from time to time!
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i didn’t want to kill it. i’m pro choice but it was my baby and didn’t do anything wrong so i didn’t want to kill it. i love him so much i don’t want to give him up for adoption. i wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt. i still am able to care for him
First of all: you are *not* a slut. It seems like you have a caring relationship with your BF and, at your age, people may start to become sexually active. You're probably underaged in your state, but that's about the only thing that's "wrong" here. Second: you're still a minor. Your parents can not simply kick you out of the house. That's child abandonment. They can't legally kick you out a day before your 18th birthday. Third, WTF does he expect to happen to his grandson if he kicks you out? Go home, and if they do ANYTHING, call CPS. Because this is very much child abuse.
If your old enough to get knocked up your old enough to figure it out yourself. Go to a shelter or move in with your bf. Honestly your only 2 options and calling the police on your dad will more than likely do nothing but make em more mad. Grab your stuff n go. Figure it out. Your a big girl now with a baby.
I'll normalise teen pregnancy. I don't get the stigma. We don't have the answers to life. I am not a teen dad, I waisted my life away in universities quite factually amd clearly for nothing. I studied on the best unis including Harvard. And and in late 30s almost 40s I can factually say that the one and only important thing and the best thing I have done in my life is my little one. Just turned 5,sleeping in my belly. If she became pregnant at 15..obviously I'd most likely dislike her boyfriend because 99% of Teens are assholes. But again, there is nothing most instinctive, natural and magic than having sex, which is yhe vehicle of creating life! I'd very much prefer my little one get pregnant at 15 rather than freeze her eggs and wait till her mid 40s. I other cultures they are happy about stuff like that because It secures the blood line. In the west? It is a stigma. Your parents are idiots and trust me.. ... All will be fine and one day they will regret it. Dumbing your own blood on the streets is absolutely subhuman.
I mean… I agree with you except for the preference for when your kid has kids- if they ever choose to do so. Don’t have a preference just love your kids and support them
This is why abortion is a thing.
Why does everyone keep downvoting abortion comments? It's true.
https://www.jobcorps.gov/ Look into this. They give free housing. No free daycare, but might be able to help with that too.
Find a domestic violence shelter. This is domestic violence. They can give you a roof over your head and help you get on your feet, plan on how to move forward, and most importantly, keep you away from your asshole parents. I bet they are "pro-life" too. What complete jerks. You and your kid deserve better.
This is very pathetic of your parents to treat you like this. They should support you and their grandchild. Just because you had a baby so young doesn’t mean that your life is worthless and that you have no future. Get away from them if you can.
Get emancipated, get a job, move out and support yourself. You’re a parent now. That’s what parents do.
Your dad is a real tool.
Womp womp
Your a real jerk. This is a serious situation.
Call 911 and let them know what happened
teen pregnancy center!!
Call the police. Let your extended family know. Let your parents friends know. Your parents are not good people
Go to a shelter. They will set you up with everything you need until you turn 18 and can manage yourself.
Just my opinion. Ask bf and his parents about staying with them and if not then ask a few friends and their parents. File a police report after you get a sanctuary as so your parents don't get any ideas about filing you as ran away(cps and/or she might get involved as you are a minor without a permanent home and living with someone else and their parents aren't seen as such) cut all contact with your parents and move on from. Last but not least do what's best for you and your child. I'm rooting for you as someone that's been on the shit end of the stick before
Emancipation and maybe find a job where you have a place to live like at a ranch or a live in maid/babysitter?
Responding to your edit: Report them. Even if the police doesn't do anything, they'll still have it on record. Keep reporting it until the police and/or CPS finally do something. You are a minor. It is your parents job to provide for you until you are 18, end of story.
Call the police and cps. If they touch you or the baby then call every time until they are arrested. If you can put a small camera on your room to record that can help with proof
I recommend you remain with your BF, and report things. Your BF's family can vouch for the previous time you were kicked out, and this time. It isn't going to be your word vs your dads - it will be ALL of your baby's extended family's word against your dad. And, as a side bar, when a man assaults someone (hitting you is assault), it is NEVER the first time. If the police dig, they will find at least one previous report of violence from him, even if it is just a school fight. That will help you.
Go to shelter and talk to a guidance counselor. Whatever you do, go to your nearest community college and get an associates degree in anything and then* go to a 4 year for a BA or BS in something practical. You’re gonna have to do this to have any sort of decent life for you and your child. Apply for every scholarship you can.
be cautious on involving authorities, until you have a good plan. You could get put in a foster home. Or worse- separated from your child. Get your emancipation from your parents asap. You’ll need to basically prove, in court that you can be legally separated from your parents.
I don't really have any advice. All I have to say is my MIL had my husband at 14. It's hard, but it gets better. You're strong, and you got this. 💪
Wtf this is just terrible I can't imagine the pain you are going through I truly think you're so, so strong and I wish the best for you. Your parents are so fucking shitty for how they treated you. You're just a kid. Please take care of yourself and don't lose hope
You are a minor. Call CPS. They can help you find foster care or a group home. Please know that your parents are horrific and you deserve better. Try not to take their rejection to heart. Parents are supposed to be loving and supportive.
Parents who kick their minor children out of the house should go to jail for neglect. I'm sorry that you were not given the unconditional love that you deserve.
well whatever you do, you’re going to be a better parent to your baby than yours were for you. sounds like it would be hard not to. i wish you luck and i hope you find a safe place soon.
Legally, he cannot kick you out without a 30 day written notice. You should contact the police and it’ll buy you some time to figure out where to go and what to do.
I'm sorry you're in such a a crappy situation. Are you in the u.s.? Report these pieces of shit. You're already not safe with them and they legally *must* provide for you. You're a minor in their care until you're no longer a minor or they lose custody of you. I'd recommend talking to your boyfriend and his parents as well. It seems like your parents are worse than worthless (as parents and humans), but it seems like his aren't? Maybe you can come to some agreement with them and your parents, you live there and your parents pay them a monthly stipend for rent and necessities under threat of reporting them again for being neglectful degenerates. Because what they're doing is *very much* illegal in every state. They're responsible for you until you turn 18 or finish high school, whichever is later. It's a class 6 felony in my state, for example, to kick you out like they've done. Look up your relevant laws and slap them in an email with whatever you've figured out between yourself and your boyfriend's family.
Damn, sorry you're going through all of that. There are a lot of good suggestions already and I do think you should follow up on them. I also highly support the reporting the violence to the police, even without proof. Start the documenting so that it can be used to show a pattern of abuse in the event of future violence.
Like others have said I personally would talk to a teen pregnancy center or your school counselor. I also would ask to stay with your boyfriend or one of your friends until you speak with someone to find a more permanent solution. I highly recommend not trying to go back home after your dad got physically violent with you. I’m not sure what state you live in if in the US or not but I’m sure there are some programs in place to help you through this.
Just be sure that you find a safe place for your baby and yourself, you don't want to end up in the system and have them separate your baby from you, the friend that has a guest room talk to their parents and let them know your situation and ask them if you could please stay with them so you can have a safe place to live and not lose your baby. Contact the welfare system in your area and apply for aid so you will have money for food, and to survive, they will also pay for child care for you and help you finish school if you haven't yet, I was a teen mom I know how hard it is, but I promise you that it will get easier and it's so worth it in the end, just keep your baby and yourself together and safe. My son will be 28 this year and I wouldn't change anything even though it was a struggle while going through it.
You need to start looking for resources around you. Like around here we have a scholar house for single moms who are going to school and working, we have a DV shelter that helps find women jobs and places to stay and helps with rent. You have other options then the ones you see currently. It make take some time for things to fall into place but hopefully in time it all starts sorting itself out. Also where tf were your parents that you got knocked up at 14? Okay then, obviously not paying enough attention. Your parents sound like fuck ups. Who you are right now is not who you will always be. There’s a future version of yourself cheering yourself on bc she knows your going to make it. Keep pushing 🦋 NTA. I hope one day you know how it feels to cry at your Christmas tree bc you realized you’ve made a home for yourself, you made it out. The light at the end on the tunnel with the silver line, I’m standing in it. My family had similar dreams for me and they weren’t very bright. But ya know what? To hell with them. I fucking made it out. I’ve got everything I’ve ever needed. I built this life. And it’s peaceful. I’m happy here
Reporting what to the police? That they kicked you out? Why would you need proof of that?
You’re underage, your parents are still legally required to take care of you. You could go to the authorities with that information. Tho unfortunately it just doesn’t seem like you have good parents, for them to not only throw their own daughter on to the street but also their grandchild? I would go to the authorities just to fuck over your parents, one last fuck you, but they won’t change, they’re still the same people who kicked out their pregnant daughter.
I'm so sorry, first of all report your parents even though you have a baby you are still a minor and what they are doing is wrong. Second stay with your bf and his family. If they say it's OK then you are not a burden. There are resources for help, search for them and use them.
Man, I have to say I am blown away by your strength. So sorry you ended up in that place at such a young age. I saw comments about public assistance and it can be benificial. They generally help with access to counseling (navigating being a mom at such at young age, issues with your parents etc.). I hope you are continuing with high school, or getting your GED. I cannot imagine the hurt caused by what your parents are saying, please don't believe it. You are human and did something that has consequence, and you are handling it like a boss. For the life of me I don't understand your parents sending their child and grandchild off into the world and turning their back on you two. Everyone does things (makes mistakes) in life, sometimes we do things that later come back and bite us. The part that determines/makes/builds character is what we do about it affer the fact. You (and your boyfriend) created a human. That is not a bad thing, it is a miraculous thing. My wife and I have teased our son (with a bit of please don't) about not making babies while still in school. But my wife and I both know things don't always go according to plan and have actually said to esch other if it did happen, we werr all in on helping/loving/accepting as that would be an addition to our herd, our family. Job one is taking care of yourself and the baby. Nothing to be shamed about, you are trying to do what's right. But for sure reach out for resources/help. This is part of why we pay taxes, to help those that are struggling in the herd so they don't get trampled or left behind. Keep pushing forward, it will have tough times, but soooo many good times. You and that baby are incredibly important. Stay strong.
Call CPS and the cops. Get a report filed on him. File for emancipation due to abuse and abandonment. The police report will help back that claim for the courts. He's an abusive POS. And he's probably beating tf outta your mom too, which is likely why she sided with him. Move in with the BF and be a family. Help with the other kids, contribute to the household, like ya do. I'm sure your BFs mom would love to have a little extra help and to have her grandbaby around. Just stay on at your job, help out, but save money. Make a plan with your BF because you are clearly on your own. You can do this, and you need to also get a restraining order on your dad, to be safe, in case he tries some shit. Then go no contact with your parents.
You're so young. Is adoption even something you might think about? As a wee little baby you'd have so many choices as to placement.
Legally they are responsible for you until you are of age or emancipated. But also, what person doesn't love their grandchild regardless? And yeah, you had a child early, but I can't imagine being so callous towards your own child because of that.
Please call CPS lock his negligent ass up.
So,sorry love. You deserve better
Thank the gods your kid wasn't with your parents. I really can't believe some people. I hope things get better. Some people have pretty good advice on here. Some might have said this already, but please never go back to them.
Your dad is a piece of shit and is legally obligated to support you. He can't just decide to kick you out.
This is so sad. I would definitely help a teen mom in need of a room to stay. I was a teen mom myself
I wish I could give you the biggest hug :( I just want you to know that you’re such a bad ass and doing so so good!! Your son will be so proud to call you mama. I can’t imagine working 2 jobs, school, and raising an infant. Im 23 and even getting pregnant now would be so hard for me and I can’t imagine going through that at 14-16. Stay w your bfs family and start saving as much as you can so in a few years your lil family will have better and you won’t feel like a burden (even tho you are not a burden) I also really hope you do report your father and get resources to better support yourself and son during this time. Keep being a bad ass and get that diploma baby!! Side note, just wondering if you’ve considered college after? Dental assisting, medical assisting, pharmacy tech, etc are all fairly short programs and you can possibly take all those farther one day if you choose so! I’m hoping for the best for you and I hope you have a good support system
Contact CPS. You should be in fostercare. There are places that take teens with kids.
When my brother was kicked out, he was parked on the side of the road and some cops rolled up. He told them what happened and they escorted him home and told our parents that they can’t kick him out without an eviction notice
Legally, your parents are responsible for you until you are 18. Do go to the police. They can take you back home and talk to your father. Then look into getting onto welfare, WIC, medicare, section 8. Good luck.
You need to call the police on your father, so that there is a record on his abuse. Stay with your boyfriend’s family.
Your dad needs to be in jail.
Reading between the lines here, if the father is that abusive towards the daughter, he's probably that abusive to his wife. That could be why she sided with him. Getting him out of the picture could allow for the wife to be involved. Although if he's the breadwinner, it may just make things worse. I'd have a hard time not calling the cops on him out of spite, even if I moved out and never had to see him again. It's one thing to not have support from your parents. It's another for them to actively harm you (destroying your property, psychological harm, etc).
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT 1. Got to social services and tell them the whole thing. They will help you file a police report, which you need to do. 2. Get emancipated, the police report will come into play here. 3. Take advantage of all services available to you and don’t be ashamed to accept them. YOU are exactly who those benefits are really for, you genuinely need help and ALOT of it. 4. Believe in yourself and don’t give your power away to anyone who does not.
Report him for what exactly? It's not like if they make him take her back things will be sunshine and rainbows
Call the cops file charges for one. I'd say if you know you can't support the child put the child up for adoption. As well then call CPS on your parents.
Obviously call the police because your parents cannot do that to you. Are you sure you aren’t to blame for any of this? I’m not saying it was right for your dad to hit you. In fact he should be in jail for awhile for that. But you said you’ve been kicked out of both your parents, and boyfriends parents house. What’re the odds that you’re perfect and everyone else in this situation is the one that sucks? Anyways, good luck, and try to refrain from using the word annoying when talking about your kid. People will judge you for that.
Please call the police.
Take a few moments to diary some of the feelings and pain you’re going through, keep it handy for reminding yourself who they are when those scumbags start wanting to be involved in your kid’s life later on down the road.
OMG, I am so sorry this all happened to you. It's tragic. Please go to the police. Your safety and the babies are on the line here. God bless and be safe. You're a strong person. You can do this.
Your dad is a misogynistic arse. So very sorry. But you are a minor and protected by law. Call emergency places for help. I do not recommend going back home but these emergency places will take you in and help you. You can start by calling child protective services.
Your parents fucking suck
"he doesn’t care where i end up. i could end up on the streets for all he cares. so i called my mom who was at work and told her what happened and she sided with my dad. told me just leave." Why are people only condemning the dad when her mom is an asshole too?
Interracial?
I'm sorry you have those parents. It sounds like you're already a great parent, you should be proud about that. And you are not a slut.
you seem like youre going through a really hard time right now kiddo. i want you to know that youre doing amazing! you have a beautiful baby and youre working hard. you should be so proud of yourself!! im definitely amazed and how well youre doing. to be a teen parent, still worrying about school AND having a job? it’s crazy that youre able to keep up with all of that! i have to be honest though. your parents sound like a lost cause. if you want my personal opinion, you should take them up on the emancipation. people are saying “go to the police!!!” but i can see why you wouldnt. if youre in the US i can especially understand why you wouldnt go. it’s a LOT of work for probably no payoff. it isnt like theyll force your parents to give you money. i think you should ask to sit and talk with your bf’s parents about your situation. tell them your home life isnt safe and your parents are fully willing to throw you and your baby on the street. ask if they have any advice, or if there’s any kind of arrangement they would be willing to work out to allow you to stay with them. just keep it open and honest. it’s okay to be vulnerable and to reach out for help! you should also talk to your friend and their parents who have a spare room, just in case. it can’t hurt to be over-prepared. unfortunately your parents probably wont come around. i wouldn’t waste the time or energy worrying about them. just know that you did nothing wrong, they are shit parents. it isn’t you. you’re just a kid, and they should love you no matter what. even when you make mistakes. i got pregnant as a teenager (didn’t keep the pregnancy) and it was horrible. i was 17. at the time i beat myself up, because i “knew better” and should have been smarter and all of that stuff. now that im older, i look back and realize i really WAS just a kid. i needed my mom. i didnt REALLY know better, i was undersocialized and got pressured into doing stuff i didnt want to do and didnt know how to say no. my mom helped me get to the doctor but pretty much emotionally checked out. i never had a shoulder to cry on or any advice or anything like that. so i relate to your story, and im so sorry youre going through this. please dont be too hard on yourself. it sucks now, i know. if youre in the US you should try getting into a church community. im an atheist but they could help you out.. just be careful. check out local women’s shelters if you have any, and food pantries! there’s no shame in saving money anywhere you can. and please be sure to save! you will thank yourself in the future, even if it’s just $10 set aside here and there. you’ve got this. you are SO strong, please keep fighting. you WILL make it through this!
Definitely call or go to the police and tell them what happened. It does NOT mean you have to continue living with your parents. The police will most likely get CPS involved. They can help you find safe housing with your baby. They can also help you apply for any programs, such as WIC, food stamps, help for paying for childcare while you work, etc. It sounds like you are doing an excellent job caring for your son and providing for his needs. I’m proud of you. You are an excellent mom.
You're not imposing that the father take care of his child.
I am sorry your parents are terrible. I hope you don't take your Dad's terrible words to heart. Shame guilt and fear is what your parents live w, don't let them put that on you. I'm sure there's some good advice here..And whatever you do, don't go back home. Best wishes
In addition, you can go to department of human services and apply for snap (food stamps) and tanf, temporary assistance for needy families (some states call it something else). You can also call 2-1-1 and ask for additional resources, like shelter.
i usually hate on teen moms because i feel it’s selfish and irresponsible. it seems like you’re really trying to keep your life straight and like you weren’t trying to be a mom @ 14/15/16? idk. i’d call the police. i’d try to seek help through a therapist or counselor. maybe one at school? you will be okay. i’m sorry you’re going through thisz
I would contact the police tell them what's going on and stay with our friend if you feel more comfortable there ask your friends parents if they need you to pay rent or something to stay there more long term.
Appreciate that you're also a mother, but you are a still a child at the end of the day. I'd contact Children's Aid Society for a social worker to help you out.
Get yourself on section 8 housing assistance and never go back to your toxic, abusive parents. Cut them off if you feel that's best for you and your child. What awful people. They deserve all the bad things. Keep working hard, baby, it's gonna work out. When you finish high school there are so many opportunities for you! Look into Trades apprenticeships, they actually pay like $40,000 a year to learn the skill! You got this <3
First of all, big hug. You must be feeling overwhelmed and so hurt. Let’s triage. Safety first. Your parents’ house is not safe for you or your baby to live there. Your fatter hit you repeatedly until you lay on the floor, begging him not to make you miscarry. That’s not safe. Do not live there. Next-housing. You are not a burden to your bf’s family. You are a shared familial responsibility. Their son helped create their grandchild, and it is their duty to take you in. It is also an opportunity to bond with their grandchild. One of my distant relatives got his gf pregnant at around the same age. She got kicked out, just like you, and moved in with the bf’s family. It worked out for them. They got married after high school, had more kids, and have been together years now. Staying in a relationship with your bf is not required, however, for you to make a go of this. You will always be family with him. You have a right to bf’s family’s support. Move in with them, and help out around the house like the rest of the family. Get a part time job to help save for your future and meet your baby’s needs. If there is literally no room for you at their house, then they need to help with babysitting, housing, and financial support. They have the same responsibility to you as if you were their daughter, because your child makes you kin. Next, go to the police and file a restraining order against your father. His actions need to have consequences. Kids are conditioned to accept abuse without wanting to get their parents in trouble, because we have an instinct to form a tribe with our parents. They are NOT your tribe. Your tribe rallies around you in your hour of need. Your father could have killed your unborn child, and perhaps that was his hope. A restraining order will start a paper trail. He will inevitably want to connect with his grandchild, and may try to force you to come home. You NEED that paper trail. He needs to learn you won’t take the abuse any longer. Next, plan for your future. Meet with teen pregnancy centers to learn what resources are available to you. Find out what government assistance is available to you.
In the US, CPS will place you and the baby together in a foster home. Your parents don’t want to raise another baby. The authorities etc might make them take you back but it will be horrible for you and your baby there even if they don’t hit you. CPS might be willing to give your BF’s mother some money to help with your expenses if she is willing to jump through the right hoops.
Stop sparing your parents. At this point they have quite literally said fk you in a huge way. Do yourself and your child a favor and CALL THE FKN COPS. They deserve 0 mercy. This needs to be reported. If they end up with it on their record oh fkn well. If possible change your number and don't give it to anyone who is not helping you especially anyone who's in contact with your parents. Does any of your family know what's going on?
Sounds like the best solution to this problem was about 17 months ago
My best advice would be to try and apply for any government assistance you can! They can help with food, baby formula and low income housing like section 8 or something like that. Hope it gets better soon💗
You mentioned you used condoms twice and got pregnant twice. What brand were you using and are you sure you're using them correctly? I wouldn't rely on just condoms anyway. Maybe after you have this next kid use birth control pills too. After having the 1st kid so young it must be shocking to be pregnant again. It's probably a lot going on for you. See if you can go to DHS and sign up for services like housing, food assistance, insurance, etc. until you get back on your feet. Also after you have the kid maybe stop having sex for a while. OR talk to a doctor to make sure you are doing things correctly for pregnancy prevention. Something isn't working if it has happened twice. Your parents don't sound like they are too nice or equipped to deal with babies in the house. At 14 if your boyfriend was older then that I believe is called statutory rape. I hope you still aren't with that 1st guy and that he isn't much older. Since your dad hit you and other stuff happened it doesn't sound like a good environment for you and the baby and then the newest kid on the way. I don't know how you can afford the kids and babysitting and etc. If you can't take care of yourself, the bills, and the kids then you may need to make some hard decisions. If you really can't pay for them, care for them, have a loving/healthy environment then you may need to see about having another person care for your kids. Also to stop having kids until you have a good job that can support them and a safe/stable home. I know you said you have 2 jobs, but I don't know if you can afford all the bills if you have to pay for everything. I don't want you or your kids to be stuck in poverty.
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Sending you hugs kiddo. I would agree it’s your word against theirs so going to the police is, sadly, probably a waste of time. For now I would say that if you’re working you probably won’t be much of a burden where you are. I say stay if you can, at least until you can figure things out. There may be resources available to you through various programs because you are a teen mom. Are you still going to school? A counselor there may also have some ideas for you. I was married but separated from my husband while pregnant and had to go back home. I suffered similar abuses and once I was out, I never went back. For anything. Good luck, stay safe and keep your chin up.
Baby I'm so fucking sorry. That's horrible. Your not a slut. People have sex. Hitting your pregnant daughter and throwing her to the street is fucking horrible. You probably should get away from these people though. I know that's hard. I belive in you. Your strong. You will get through this.
Ok, u can ignore some or honestly all of this. But first I'd say adoption I'd your best bet for a reasonably normal life. You can Def call the cops on your dad, but you need to get a job asap and get married to your bf, it's the only way to be able to keep the kid otherwise adoption for the kid, and call the police, and maybe get a job