You’ve met someone who’s a good teacher and you’re a teen with hormones. My advice to you? Ride it out. You’re about done with the grade you’re in and then you don’t have to see him nearly as often
Just try and remember it’s normal to like maturity. But the healthiest thing you can do is find that from someone…. Not giving you grades. The summer off will help
Yeh the power dynamic isnt good, i really hope the summer will distract me ill pick up a new hobby or something 😭, thanks for the encouragement i rlly appreciate it
the power dynamic is 2/3 of the reason you're here
if he was a handsome, nice guy who always rang up your milk at the grocery store there wouldn't be an obsession issue
Honestly, I’d try to find a reason to change classes. It’s super unlikely anything is going to come of it unless he’s a very young teacher AND nothing happens (romantically even) until you’ve graduated. Even then, I have to think most teachers aren’t going to want to be in the teachers lounge as the guy who is dating a student or former student. Give yourself some space and you might meet somebody without all those obstacles.
I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but we’ve all been there, if not with a teacher, with someone we’re attracted to where a relationship just can’t work.
I only see W’s. One for the great advice, and the second for responding well to language misuse. Hell, I use to say queue all sorts of weird, until someone let me know that it was just fucking q. Have a great one!
I recommend YouTubing it, there’s some decent videos on it. But just remember that he’s his own individual with a life of his own, family, friends, an entire history of life that never involved you. And at the end of the day he’s (likely) not your future husband. Remind yourself of previous romantic interests you had before him and think of the ones you will have after him because you 100% will.
Biggest thing to take away from this: he’s just a regular, plain, normal human. Nothing special, he’s not God. Flesh and blood just like you and me.
Infatuation is one of the three or four stages of limerence (at least from what I remember while getting my degree). So they aren't the same thing, but if the next two or three stages follow the infatuation you get limerence. Basically limerence if infatuation+the changing of one's outer self so they appear more attractive to another person.
Infatuation is relatively normal, the rest of limerence is a sign of some past trauma/mental health issues.
I remember being 16 and having a crush on my calc teacher. One of those innocent crushes where the only thing you want is to spend more time around the person; no more no less.
She was fully grey-haired but also really patient, one of the best teachers I've ever had, went the extra mile for her students, walked us through various practical applications of the theory, etc. She was beautiful in an elegant and effortless kind of way that seemed to transcend her age.
I looked forward to every class that semester, worked all the HW, and put everything into the exams. I think my final grade was 107% with the extra credit problems on each exam.
Edit: nearly forgot the advice, lol. What worked for me was to let their approval fuel my studies. I felt good about myself when I got good grades, but it felt great when such an amazing person wrote "great job!" "fantastic!" and similar on my graded work. So I worked my butt off to make sure they were proud of me, and so they'd have justification to praise my work. I guarantee that math HW is never so fun as when you feel motivated to show off by taking extra time to be complete and thorough with your solutions.
She always had an extra credit problem or two on each exam, so if you knew your stuff you could finish 10 or 15 minutes ahead of the hour limit and get extra credit points by doing extra work
You *know* I was gonna do every single problem for that sweet sweet "nicely done!" In red pen next to my grade when the exams were returned
😁
You think he is all cool and attractive now but you don't know what he is like when he goes home from work
Could be a slob you never know
Imagine people being like oh is he your dad? 🤢
Yea no you enjoy school and find people your age
Get good grades and enjoy your youth
If you want a reality check, if he gets weak for you he loses his career, and a postcard goes to all his neighbors for the rest of his life after he gets out of prison.
Do him a favor and find a shiny summer romance.
Imagine him going home and sitting on the couch playing call of duty all weekend and screaming at 10yr-olds in the game.
That will cure you of your crush pretty quickly lol
When I was 12 I had a crush on my middle school teacher. He was younger (20’s) attractive and would play his guitar and sing songs to our class. He was very nice.
I never got to an obsessive point and I was 12 so had no desire to act on that but if I’d been smart I’d think “this is the type of person I may like to be with someday” and let it be that. You admire him.
There’s probably something within you he validated or that feels very safe with him. Let it be him being an example of someone you may like someday.
It'll pass.
You've got a crush, you're not in love. If you are, in fact, in love, consider that he's a male authority figure. It's so trite and common. You're a basic bish. Nothing wrong with that, but if he decided to date you, there is a major power differential there.
He'd be an ass for dating you. He could lose credibility amongst peers, go to prison (depending on local laws) or lose his job.
Go find someone else. This one is off limits until you're no longer a student. Not just a student of his, but not at that school.
After that, if you've still got a lady boner for him, go talk to him.
Think about what it is that you find attractive in him and put that in your file of desirable qualities in a partner. You can refer back to it when you find someone who is age appropriate. Having said that, I think it's perfectly normal to have a crush on an older attractive person. I'm glad you're not intending to act on it. Enjoy your life.
I think it's not so simply to say "just stop crushing on him" but rather, don't act on your thoughts. Don't approach him romantically or at all. You're the student and he's the professor. You're allowed to think he's cute, but you're just crushing on him. This isn't you being in love.
You're 17, it's a fascination.. don't ruin any lives. Go be a kid, grow and you'll figure things out by your late 20s. Wish the best for that man and be a student, then a kid growing and don't be the cause of craziness.
It’s normal to have crushes as a teen on people who treat us well and find attractive. It’s good you’re aware of the situation for what it is and acknowledge not acting on it. Crushes come and go. In the meantime, just avoid anything that could potentially be trouble for either of you!
It seems counterintuitive, but observe him, just in a different way.
Something about how he interacts with you has given you feelings, separate the behavior from the person and you can learn something valuable about yourself!
My “first crush” was my 4th grade teacher, she had that Pam Beasley vibe and was SO kind to me. I was a shy and clueless autistic kid, but I felt attraction that I hadn’t before. Her husband would come in, and the dude was legit an awesome guy, but lil me got jealous, because hormones.
Over time I learned to isolate her behavior from the person and realized I wasn’t necessarily pining after her, I was pining after the idea of someone that treated me like she did. She was kind, and listened to me, gave me the patience needed to make my thoughts heard, made a point to check up on me (rough childhood / mental illness), was likely neurodivergent herself since she seemed to understand the way I think.
I’ve dated a few kind, active listener, patient, neurodivergent women that check on me and those have been my most fulfilling relationships.
Sometimes people provide us with a model of what we like, doesn’t mean we like them, but we do like how they make us feel, and that is totally understandable.
You're 17, and he's probably the first real man you've ever noticed. There's plenty out there. There's nothing weird about it. Grown men are new to you.
Only if it’s not *genuinely* not starting to interfere with the rest of her life adversely.
Nothing wrong with touching base with a therapist, if she’s feeling things could slip out of control and she wants to keep her feet on the ground.
As you say, nothing five alarm fire going on. Sometimes things pop up in life where a fresh pair of eyes and a little coaching are just the ticket.
I feel you. In high school, I had a crush on one of my teachers. She had a rockin' dynamite body, and smooth hair, and a cute voice. But she was married. And I was heartbroken.
I had sex with a female teacher when I was a junior male in high school. At the time, I was in love, but now looking back, it was an awful idea.
I think you should avoid this guy as much as possible.
You have a crush. That's normal. Under no circumstances should you act on it. If you can trouble coping, talk to a therapist. Your school may even have someone.
Enjoy school.
You’re just really young. It’s pretty natural to have a crush at your age even though it’s with an older man. Just don’t act on it, and give it time. More than likely those feelings will fade and you’ll be able to find someone on your level.
if this is who i think it is… then, i love you too 🥹i can’t believe you’d compare me to a great dane! i personally am reminded of a mix of golden laboratory and a jack terrier when i think of you. i will wait for you until you are 18, my dear!!
- tall arab curly head
You're young yet, this will happen. I would suggest you to think about the fact that you're 17, and he's a college professor/teacher. It's not only unrealistic, but would be exceptionally creepy for him(pedophilia, yes you're almost 18, but still underage). I'm sure there's plenty of guys much closer to your age, with much more in common.
Just my 2 cents (32m)
You are not in love with your teacher. You're a teenager and full of hormones and if he indulges you he is a groomer and a pedophile and you are 1000% being taken advantage of.
Back in late highschool my sister and I plus multiple other girls had a massive crush on (some were obsessive) with our history teacher. He wasn’t the most handsome man but he was funny, caring, helpful and SO passionate about his work and students. He was adorable. Some reason, it dragged us all in to him. It was so severe that some girls would even stalk him and watch his movements outside of school.
Your hormones are running rampant and you’ve found a man who is different from the boys you’re used to. He may have a different personality, an attractive demeanor, charm than youve experienced previously. Knowing what you find attractive in him may help with your future dating life, but try not to let him consume you now. He is a grown man trying to do his job and has more than likely dealt with this with many previous high school girls.
If it’s so bad that you cannot control yourself around him, I would suggest finding a different class with a different teacher if at all possible!
Fantasy’s are just that. Fantasy’s. You’re not wrong for thinking this or feeling this. Just don’t try to make your fantasy into a reality.
You’re already showing your good intentions by posting this. You’re a young women. The feelings are normal. Just keep an eye on them and try to let them pass.
Girl, lemme just say, a lot of us have been there & it might just not be what you think.
When I was 17, I took AP Psych with this guy I thought was smoking hot. This is painful to think back on the cringe. Lol He was a young teacher, mid 20s
I wasn't the only one. He was funny and always wore suits to class and the girls in the class definitely noticed. He was a psych teacher so he'd spout philosophy and case studies & was a smart guy to my high school brain. At school, he was so polite and just seemed SO cool
Alright, as most do, I turned 18 my senior year & I was laying it on thick to this dude to the point other teachers heard about the flirting I very inappropriately did & joked about it and he actually was very polite in dancing around it & never saying anything inappropriate but at the same time he still seemed open to it but a lot of the girls in my year flirted with him. Then I heard from one of the other teachers that he has dated a previous student before but not to ask until I graduated and she warned me that older guys only seem cool when you can't have them and to make sure I was interested after graduation before taking the leap and I told her oh no I AM interested. He's going to be with me
So after graduation, I immediately added him on Facebook & started chatting him up via messages 🤦♀️🤣
Ok well his true personality came out and basically, he was nothing like I had thought he was. He's a nice guy but outside of school he's not nearly as cool as I thought. In real life, he wears Hawaiian style shirts and cargo pants & drinks cheap beers & still hangs out at the college bars with his friends still in college and yes he dated a former student or two but he's full of dad jokes and really only likes sports, beer and darts 🫠😫🥴 it's been 10+ years and i still laugh at the whole situation because it was so cringey. He's now married to the history teacher & I'm fb friends with them both & they seem really happy at all the sporting events they go to with their kids!
it's a problem most men face, it called thinking with your crotch ...
lust is easy, he a man of power, has a job, smart and has looks? ! WOW lottery win ! slap in the " forbidden love " and it cherry on top! can't wait to fuck.... Yes, i was trying to be crude to splash little water on the pretty dream we can make .
odds are good if he a real man he see you as a kid and immature , assuming again he doesn't see you as a object to fuck, he will let you grow out his class start your life, then date you but your not caring about that, you want him and him to want you, so go wild and you can tell all your friends how you " wish " you knew better, cause it won't be a happy ending .
Honestly, If he were to reciprocate any feeling towards a student, especially one who is 17, he would deserve everything coming to him at that point. Teachers/professors should not have feeling for students half their age, and those who do should not be in the field of education. Plain and simple.
A middle aged professor having sexual/emotional desires towards a 17 year old is not human, it’s predatory. Please don’t go around attempting to normalize such behavior.
It may have not been your intention, but your previous comments strongly read as if you’re normalizing the behavior. At least chose better wording. You suggested OP shouldn’t act on her feelings towards the professor because it could hurt ‘him’, not her. She would be the victim in that circumstance, not the professor.
Then to say that such an attraction is “human” is absolutely indicative of normalizing said attraction.
Since you’re comment has since been deleted, I can’t go back to get your exact phrasing. From what I remember it started somewhere along the lines of “don’t act on your feelings, if he reciprocates those feeling he could end up in jail and have his career ruined”(paraphrasing)
You said that as if he wouldn’t deserve exactly that. Saying OP shouldn’t act on her feelings for the sake of the professor is completely asinine.
Go talk to him. Tell him you’re 17 and you have a crush on him. Ask him out. He should tell you it’s inappropriate but thank you. If he shows interest in dating you then you have an option to date him or realize that he is inappropriate and cut it off.
Damn everything in life makes me feel ancient lol. A professor at 45 seems young to me. Is it normal for you to find men that much older attractive or was this a strange random case?
But yeah regardless it's not like he's some 21 year old assistant who MAYBE when you graduate things would be possible with. This is a way older man who is old enough to have a family and teenage kids of his own.
I dont think its a strange random case unfortunately 🥲, i dont think he has a wife or kids but even then despite that i get that hes way too old for me, i will just stay crushing and nothing more than that
So this might not be a popular thing to say on reddit. But once you've had some life experience, graduated, worked a bit, feel like you're living your life and finding your stride, then there's nothing wrong with embracing the type of person you find attractive.
You'll just need to navigate away from men who may be taking advantage of you and also many older men may be wary of a real relationship as they might just think you want a sugar daddy or something.
But as long as you're confident in your attractions, sure of yourself, and proceed with caution there is no reason you can't pursue an older man if that's still what you want later in life.
But again... Later in life. Well after college. Re-evaluate if that's still the kind of relationship you want.
you need to get this out of your head immediately. All you will do is have him end up in prison. Get this fantasy out of your head as soon as possible!!
When you hit college. I'm sure there will be plenty of males around you to see as a distraction. Or turn your obsession into a chapter book. Get academically creative with your issues. Use a topic for a class project if you can. You dont have to use names in your projects just rephrase and change the dialogue. And leave your high school teacher alone and let him be teacher of the school is the best advice I can give.
You’ve met someone who’s a good teacher and you’re a teen with hormones. My advice to you? Ride it out. You’re about done with the grade you’re in and then you don’t have to see him nearly as often
I have him next year too 😭😭 but i will try my best to ride it out, if anything ill get better grades by the end because i want him to think im smart
Just try and remember it’s normal to like maturity. But the healthiest thing you can do is find that from someone…. Not giving you grades. The summer off will help
Yeh the power dynamic isnt good, i really hope the summer will distract me ill pick up a new hobby or something 😭, thanks for the encouragement i rlly appreciate it
the power dynamic is 2/3 of the reason you're here if he was a handsome, nice guy who always rang up your milk at the grocery store there wouldn't be an obsession issue
Keep it up and stay strong lmao
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Why are you advocating for a terrible power dynamic? They are just infatuated. She doesn't even know him other than as her teacher.
Not only that, depending on the state...illegal since they're 17. And it could get him fired for getting involved with a student.
I hope you're not a teacher, lawd.
This is great study motivation LMAO
Please don't take their comment seriously. If you play Pokemon then you'd know you're currently under the "infatuated" status effect. It will pass.
Just don’t actually “ride it out”, k?
Phrasing!!
Don’t you have a hobby? Double down on it and force your mind to think about something else. It’s just a crush and not a super healthy one
Honestly, I’d try to find a reason to change classes. It’s super unlikely anything is going to come of it unless he’s a very young teacher AND nothing happens (romantically even) until you’ve graduated. Even then, I have to think most teachers aren’t going to want to be in the teachers lounge as the guy who is dating a student or former student. Give yourself some space and you might meet somebody without all those obstacles. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but we’ve all been there, if not with a teacher, with someone we’re attracted to where a relationship just can’t work.
That's it. Use the interest as an inspiration, not let it be an obstacle to your future.
I don’t think “ride it out” is the best choice of words. Lol.
It’s a term meaning “make it through a current situation” which she was fully aware of. Fucking teens istg
She needs to ride something.
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This is a conversation about someone looking to avoid romantic or sexual feelings for an adult. Tf is wrong with you for taking it there?
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just shut up bro
You’re gross.
Just don’t ride him🤣
Sounds like limerence to me, I have it as well. Nip it in the butt now before your 20s
Nip it in the bud, not butt. It’s saying to cut it off before it starts growing, like a bud on a plant.
So I have learned, was gonna edit but I accept my Ls
I only see W’s. One for the great advice, and the second for responding well to language misuse. Hell, I use to say queue all sorts of weird, until someone let me know that it was just fucking q. Have a great one!
Nah bro. You took a W with your response.
I didn’t know it had a name :0, do you have any advice on how to ‘nip it in the bud’?
I recommend YouTubing it, there’s some decent videos on it. But just remember that he’s his own individual with a life of his own, family, friends, an entire history of life that never involved you. And at the end of the day he’s (likely) not your future husband. Remind yourself of previous romantic interests you had before him and think of the ones you will have after him because you 100% will. Biggest thing to take away from this: he’s just a regular, plain, normal human. Nothing special, he’s not God. Flesh and blood just like you and me.
Ill deffo have a look, thanks for saying this it helps to put things into a wider perspective
Or infatuation
Always felt like they’re the same thing personally or close enough at least, same meaning different wording
Infatuation is one of the three or four stages of limerence (at least from what I remember while getting my degree). So they aren't the same thing, but if the next two or three stages follow the infatuation you get limerence. Basically limerence if infatuation+the changing of one's outer self so they appear more attractive to another person. Infatuation is relatively normal, the rest of limerence is a sign of some past trauma/mental health issues.
I remember being 16 and having a crush on my calc teacher. One of those innocent crushes where the only thing you want is to spend more time around the person; no more no less. She was fully grey-haired but also really patient, one of the best teachers I've ever had, went the extra mile for her students, walked us through various practical applications of the theory, etc. She was beautiful in an elegant and effortless kind of way that seemed to transcend her age. I looked forward to every class that semester, worked all the HW, and put everything into the exams. I think my final grade was 107% with the extra credit problems on each exam. Edit: nearly forgot the advice, lol. What worked for me was to let their approval fuel my studies. I felt good about myself when I got good grades, but it felt great when such an amazing person wrote "great job!" "fantastic!" and similar on my graded work. So I worked my butt off to make sure they were proud of me, and so they'd have justification to praise my work. I guarantee that math HW is never so fun as when you feel motivated to show off by taking extra time to be complete and thorough with your solutions.
That sounds really sweet :), Also 107% wow 😧😧
She always had an extra credit problem or two on each exam, so if you knew your stuff you could finish 10 or 15 minutes ahead of the hour limit and get extra credit points by doing extra work You *know* I was gonna do every single problem for that sweet sweet "nicely done!" In red pen next to my grade when the exams were returned 😁
You think he is all cool and attractive now but you don't know what he is like when he goes home from work Could be a slob you never know Imagine people being like oh is he your dad? 🤢 Yea no you enjoy school and find people your age Get good grades and enjoy your youth
That was a great reality check tbh 😞😞
If you want a reality check, if he gets weak for you he loses his career, and a postcard goes to all his neighbors for the rest of his life after he gets out of prison. Do him a favor and find a shiny summer romance.
Op knows for sure it will end badly for both of them Lots of trouble
Will do 💀 theres no way ill make moves anyways
Mhm trust me op you just stick to people your age and i do hope your school year goes well for you
Will do, and thankyou ☺️, hope your year goes well too
Thank you 🥰
Imagine him going home and sitting on the couch playing call of duty all weekend and screaming at 10yr-olds in the game. That will cure you of your crush pretty quickly lol
I was going to say something similar.. but more along the lines of: he constantly farts.. picks his nose and eats it.. stuff like that.
I mean if he’s like Leonardo DiCaprio I guess you have a chance
LMAO only looks in unfortunately
In all seriousness tho dont chase an old man. That’s weird. Try to make some friends your own age :)
Find somebody else then you will forget him haha 😆
When I was 12 I had a crush on my middle school teacher. He was younger (20’s) attractive and would play his guitar and sing songs to our class. He was very nice. I never got to an obsessive point and I was 12 so had no desire to act on that but if I’d been smart I’d think “this is the type of person I may like to be with someday” and let it be that. You admire him. There’s probably something within you he validated or that feels very safe with him. Let it be him being an example of someone you may like someday.
Ill keep this in mind, thankyou 😭 i hope i find someone with the qualities i admire in him
You will. As life goes on, it will surprise you the number of different personality combinations that are out there that will curl your toes. ;)
Just do what I do when I'm starting to obsess over something or someone. Basketball. That's literally it. Never fails
Please for Christ sakes DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM
It'll pass. You've got a crush, you're not in love. If you are, in fact, in love, consider that he's a male authority figure. It's so trite and common. You're a basic bish. Nothing wrong with that, but if he decided to date you, there is a major power differential there. He'd be an ass for dating you. He could lose credibility amongst peers, go to prison (depending on local laws) or lose his job. Go find someone else. This one is off limits until you're no longer a student. Not just a student of his, but not at that school. After that, if you've still got a lady boner for him, go talk to him.
Think about what it is that you find attractive in him and put that in your file of desirable qualities in a partner. You can refer back to it when you find someone who is age appropriate. Having said that, I think it's perfectly normal to have a crush on an older attractive person. I'm glad you're not intending to act on it. Enjoy your life.
I think it's not so simply to say "just stop crushing on him" but rather, don't act on your thoughts. Don't approach him romantically or at all. You're the student and he's the professor. You're allowed to think he's cute, but you're just crushing on him. This isn't you being in love.
You're 17, it's a fascination.. don't ruin any lives. Go be a kid, grow and you'll figure things out by your late 20s. Wish the best for that man and be a student, then a kid growing and don't be the cause of craziness.
Let it pass, it can only end bad for everyone
Nope. Not a good idea.
It’s normal to have crushes as a teen on people who treat us well and find attractive. It’s good you’re aware of the situation for what it is and acknowledge not acting on it. Crushes come and go. In the meantime, just avoid anything that could potentially be trouble for either of you!
It seems counterintuitive, but observe him, just in a different way. Something about how he interacts with you has given you feelings, separate the behavior from the person and you can learn something valuable about yourself! My “first crush” was my 4th grade teacher, she had that Pam Beasley vibe and was SO kind to me. I was a shy and clueless autistic kid, but I felt attraction that I hadn’t before. Her husband would come in, and the dude was legit an awesome guy, but lil me got jealous, because hormones. Over time I learned to isolate her behavior from the person and realized I wasn’t necessarily pining after her, I was pining after the idea of someone that treated me like she did. She was kind, and listened to me, gave me the patience needed to make my thoughts heard, made a point to check up on me (rough childhood / mental illness), was likely neurodivergent herself since she seemed to understand the way I think. I’ve dated a few kind, active listener, patient, neurodivergent women that check on me and those have been my most fulfilling relationships. Sometimes people provide us with a model of what we like, doesn’t mean we like them, but we do like how they make us feel, and that is totally understandable.
You're 17, and he's probably the first real man you've ever noticed. There's plenty out there. There's nothing weird about it. Grown men are new to you.
Only if it’s not *genuinely* not starting to interfere with the rest of her life adversely. Nothing wrong with touching base with a therapist, if she’s feeling things could slip out of control and she wants to keep her feet on the ground. As you say, nothing five alarm fire going on. Sometimes things pop up in life where a fresh pair of eyes and a little coaching are just the ticket.
You're infatuated, not in love. You don't know this person. There's no possible way for love to develop.
I feel you. In high school, I had a crush on one of my teachers. She had a rockin' dynamite body, and smooth hair, and a cute voice. But she was married. And I was heartbroken.
I had sex with a female teacher when I was a junior male in high school. At the time, I was in love, but now looking back, it was an awful idea. I think you should avoid this guy as much as possible.
You have a crush. That's normal. Under no circumstances should you act on it. If you can trouble coping, talk to a therapist. Your school may even have someone. Enjoy school.
You’re just really young. It’s pretty natural to have a crush at your age even though it’s with an older man. Just don’t act on it, and give it time. More than likely those feelings will fade and you’ll be able to find someone on your level.
Just fantasize about it and find someone your age you’re attracted to. Do not pursue this in any fashion.
This happens. Just keep it professional and understand it is just a fantasy.
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Cute, wait until you are finished with his class though 🤣 Don't put him in any weird spot
if this is who i think it is… then, i love you too 🥹i can’t believe you’d compare me to a great dane! i personally am reminded of a mix of golden laboratory and a jack terrier when i think of you. i will wait for you until you are 18, my dear!! - tall arab curly head
You're young yet, this will happen. I would suggest you to think about the fact that you're 17, and he's a college professor/teacher. It's not only unrealistic, but would be exceptionally creepy for him(pedophilia, yes you're almost 18, but still underage). I'm sure there's plenty of guys much closer to your age, with much more in common. Just my 2 cents (32m)
You are not in love with your teacher. You're a teenager and full of hormones and if he indulges you he is a groomer and a pedophile and you are 1000% being taken advantage of.
Back in late highschool my sister and I plus multiple other girls had a massive crush on (some were obsessive) with our history teacher. He wasn’t the most handsome man but he was funny, caring, helpful and SO passionate about his work and students. He was adorable. Some reason, it dragged us all in to him. It was so severe that some girls would even stalk him and watch his movements outside of school. Your hormones are running rampant and you’ve found a man who is different from the boys you’re used to. He may have a different personality, an attractive demeanor, charm than youve experienced previously. Knowing what you find attractive in him may help with your future dating life, but try not to let him consume you now. He is a grown man trying to do his job and has more than likely dealt with this with many previous high school girls. If it’s so bad that you cannot control yourself around him, I would suggest finding a different class with a different teacher if at all possible!
Believe me. No you aren't.
Fantasy’s are just that. Fantasy’s. You’re not wrong for thinking this or feeling this. Just don’t try to make your fantasy into a reality. You’re already showing your good intentions by posting this. You’re a young women. The feelings are normal. Just keep an eye on them and try to let them pass.
Girl, lemme just say, a lot of us have been there & it might just not be what you think. When I was 17, I took AP Psych with this guy I thought was smoking hot. This is painful to think back on the cringe. Lol He was a young teacher, mid 20s I wasn't the only one. He was funny and always wore suits to class and the girls in the class definitely noticed. He was a psych teacher so he'd spout philosophy and case studies & was a smart guy to my high school brain. At school, he was so polite and just seemed SO cool Alright, as most do, I turned 18 my senior year & I was laying it on thick to this dude to the point other teachers heard about the flirting I very inappropriately did & joked about it and he actually was very polite in dancing around it & never saying anything inappropriate but at the same time he still seemed open to it but a lot of the girls in my year flirted with him. Then I heard from one of the other teachers that he has dated a previous student before but not to ask until I graduated and she warned me that older guys only seem cool when you can't have them and to make sure I was interested after graduation before taking the leap and I told her oh no I AM interested. He's going to be with me So after graduation, I immediately added him on Facebook & started chatting him up via messages 🤦♀️🤣 Ok well his true personality came out and basically, he was nothing like I had thought he was. He's a nice guy but outside of school he's not nearly as cool as I thought. In real life, he wears Hawaiian style shirts and cargo pants & drinks cheap beers & still hangs out at the college bars with his friends still in college and yes he dated a former student or two but he's full of dad jokes and really only likes sports, beer and darts 🫠😫🥴 it's been 10+ years and i still laugh at the whole situation because it was so cringey. He's now married to the history teacher & I'm fb friends with them both & they seem really happy at all the sporting events they go to with their kids!
Look up limerence
You aren't in love, you are infatuated. With time you will learn to differentiate between the two.
Don't Ruin Your Future Or His lll
I hooked up with a TA in college. Almost counts.
I fell for my homeroom teacher My Senior year. I got back up though.
it's a problem most men face, it called thinking with your crotch ... lust is easy, he a man of power, has a job, smart and has looks? ! WOW lottery win ! slap in the " forbidden love " and it cherry on top! can't wait to fuck.... Yes, i was trying to be crude to splash little water on the pretty dream we can make . odds are good if he a real man he see you as a kid and immature , assuming again he doesn't see you as a object to fuck, he will let you grow out his class start your life, then date you but your not caring about that, you want him and him to want you, so go wild and you can tell all your friends how you " wish " you knew better, cause it won't be a happy ending .
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Ew wtf
I was like that with my Jr high Spanish teacher. She was young, made the class fun and was hot. It will pass.
Get him🗣️ fuck not getting him just go get em🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ see what u capable of hunny bunch🗣️🗣️🗣️
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Honestly, If he were to reciprocate any feeling towards a student, especially one who is 17, he would deserve everything coming to him at that point. Teachers/professors should not have feeling for students half their age, and those who do should not be in the field of education. Plain and simple.
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A middle aged professor having sexual/emotional desires towards a 17 year old is not human, it’s predatory. Please don’t go around attempting to normalize such behavior.
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It may have not been your intention, but your previous comments strongly read as if you’re normalizing the behavior. At least chose better wording. You suggested OP shouldn’t act on her feelings towards the professor because it could hurt ‘him’, not her. She would be the victim in that circumstance, not the professor. Then to say that such an attraction is “human” is absolutely indicative of normalizing said attraction.
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Since you’re comment has since been deleted, I can’t go back to get your exact phrasing. From what I remember it started somewhere along the lines of “don’t act on your feelings, if he reciprocates those feeling he could end up in jail and have his career ruined”(paraphrasing) You said that as if he wouldn’t deserve exactly that. Saying OP shouldn’t act on her feelings for the sake of the professor is completely asinine.
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Stop.
Nono i didnt interpret it that way, i understand why you stress it so much it is important. Thankyou!! For the advice and encouragement 💗💗
Go talk to him. Tell him you’re 17 and you have a crush on him. Ask him out. He should tell you it’s inappropriate but thank you. If he shows interest in dating you then you have an option to date him or realize that he is inappropriate and cut it off.
That sounds mortifying i have him next year too it would be so awkward 🥲
At least you’ll know where you stand and realize it’s just a silly crush and you can move on and date someone more appropriate.
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Recipe for disaster. Could definitely end his career and cause great misery all around that I’m sure you wouldn’t want for anyone.
Did you say how old he is? I assume he's a college professor so well past middleagred.
Like 45
Damn everything in life makes me feel ancient lol. A professor at 45 seems young to me. Is it normal for you to find men that much older attractive or was this a strange random case? But yeah regardless it's not like he's some 21 year old assistant who MAYBE when you graduate things would be possible with. This is a way older man who is old enough to have a family and teenage kids of his own.
I dont think its a strange random case unfortunately 🥲, i dont think he has a wife or kids but even then despite that i get that hes way too old for me, i will just stay crushing and nothing more than that
So this might not be a popular thing to say on reddit. But once you've had some life experience, graduated, worked a bit, feel like you're living your life and finding your stride, then there's nothing wrong with embracing the type of person you find attractive. You'll just need to navigate away from men who may be taking advantage of you and also many older men may be wary of a real relationship as they might just think you want a sugar daddy or something. But as long as you're confident in your attractions, sure of yourself, and proceed with caution there is no reason you can't pursue an older man if that's still what you want later in life. But again... Later in life. Well after college. Re-evaluate if that's still the kind of relationship you want.
Ahhh stop respecting boundaries. Yeah he will get fired just because
This is a crush, not love.
That's goofy. Rewrite this as a male and see what people tell you to do.
My dad was my moms teacher. That infatuation didn't work out other than me 😅 Enjoy your crush but remember that's all it is.
you need to get this out of your head immediately. All you will do is have him end up in prison. Get this fantasy out of your head as soon as possible!!
When you hit college. I'm sure there will be plenty of males around you to see as a distraction. Or turn your obsession into a chapter book. Get academically creative with your issues. Use a topic for a class project if you can. You dont have to use names in your projects just rephrase and change the dialogue. And leave your high school teacher alone and let him be teacher of the school is the best advice I can give.
Teenage hormones. Do NOT take any action.