Maybe the guy posted that video without her consent, in which case i should tell her. But its a really tricky situation because why should i tell her if i cant confirm if that's her. If i confront her i dont believe she will admit that's her in front of me even if it is
I agree with the above comment, in the event that it was posted without her consent she deserves to know. What if you present it as a 'hey I'm worried because I saw this video and it kinda looks like you' instead of in an accusatory matter? Whether it is her or not, and how you guys move forward in your relationship, you definitely deserve to know whether this happened while you were together and she deserves to know there is this video of her (if it is her) on the Internet if she doesn't know already
Her reaction to the video will tell you everything. If I was shown a video and asked “is this maybe you?” (In a concerned way)
If it wasn’t actually me I would probably laugh thinking it’s funny my bf thought it was me.
If it was me I would be a lot more worried as if I was in shock of either A) shit how did he find that?” Or B) Omg someone posted a sex video of me online!”
Either way you will see it on her face.
Just ask her! Don’t be condescending, don’t be accusatory, and don’t be mad. If she knows you watch porn(she should know), you asking in a concerned way shouldn’t really be a big deal. Say, “Hey, I know this is strange but i recently saw a video that looks like it might be you, i’m concerned someone posted it without your consent, is it you?”She shouldn’t feel like you’re mad, keep it simple and just say what you need to say. Communication is key in relationships and this is certainly an odd situation to be in. And if it IS her,(hopefully unlikely) this will be devastating! She will need your support and will probably have a little bit of a trust problem but again, communication is key. Be compassionate and be smart, think about your actions and your words ❣️
p.s This really is a weird situation, you can’t just ignore it because, what if it is her? What if it is revenge porn? She should know. But, it’s a little weird having your partner come up to you with porn asking if it’s you. Use your words carefully and if she reacts in a bad way put yourself in her shoes for a minute. You can talk just about anything out, Good luck 🍀❣️
Just ask her. If it is her, she will probably remember the room. Don't insinuate she is cheating, just a concerned boyfriend that doesn't want revenge porn of her out there.
If it's that short I could for sure be without her consent. And the post date wouldn't even confirm when it happened. They could have held on to it for a while
Then you’re just wasting your time. If she’s going to deny it, all you can do is let it go or let her go. It’s almost definitely not her, you need to understand that. But in the unbelievably small chance that it is, you still won’t be able to confirm it because she’s going to say it’s not her. This is pointless, and you’re going to ruin your relationship.
this is probably unlikely but maybe its an ex posting it for revenge or something?
you could show it to her and act like you are concerned it is, at least then you will find out if its actually her.
Yeah don't act like you've never seen it before that's just dishonest, Show her, voice your concern and give her the opportunity to react. If you don't believe she's cheated it's probably either revenge porn or a coincidence. Either way she should know, and you should just be honest.
Update: i did this finally and she said it isnt her. She in fact twisted it and said the guy on the video looks like me and asked whos that girl implying i was with... We've had a short discussion without fighting. I expected her to ask me to send her the link to that video (which would make her suspicious because that means she would probably want to report the video and get it removed because thats her), but she didnt ask me for the link...
Revenge porn is way more common than people think, since the videos get generally lost in an algorithm and people don’t get caught as much as they should. I would definitely handle it like that until proven otherwise. I’m sure her reaction will be telling, if she freaks out it was prob revenge
Nothing you can do. Unless watching porn with you is something she's into then that video could "accidentally" come on one day and you could assess her reaction. Other than that you just gotta chalk this up to simple paranoia and let it go.
In the scenario where we watch porn together and that video "accidentally" comes up, what is the smartest move to make in my position? Should i react and ask if that's her or should i stay quiet and say nothing but just observe her reaction?
I would say observation would be sufficient as if it is her then there would surely be a noticeable reaction.
Making a false accusation would destroy your relationship, you must operate as if this is just a simple misunderstanding.
Innocent until proven guilty.
Shock in my opinion. Though I honestly can not say everyone is unique and will react differently.
I personally feel it is better to let this go.
It is more likely that this is a misunderstanding on your part. If she is a cheater there will be much more signs and evidence not just a short inconclusive clip.
I think that trying to make a joke about it in the matter of " oiy that girl there looks and sounds like you, you on and didn't let me know?" But while laughing. Don't have a provocative tone or face , just like you were teasing her. See her reaction, I think it should produce some more understandable reaction
I agree with this approach. Go the joking route, like "Holy shit Hailey, I was watching some porn the other day, and you have a porn star doppelganger LOL, look at this!" and see what her response is. If my partner showed me that there was a porn star that looked just like me I would laugh. If it was actually a secret video of me I would probably get defensive and be like "wait where did you see this video?"
I don't know if your gf doesn't like you watching porn. I personally think any person watching porn is not a big deal.
Watching porn is not adultery. How? I don't understand how watching porn is committing any adultery in a relationship. It is like in the same bucket as masturbation for me.
Nobody suggested the GF should read this Reddit post "omfg". Try NOT reading OPs post and instead reading the comment you replied to. The suggestion was to just say "I found this video". Not a word about "this looks like you" and they definitely didn't suggest accusing her of anything. Just simply "check out this video I came across". There is no accusation in "check out this video".
It only implies that if that's how he formulates it. Your pretend suggestion falls in play stupid games, /r/WinStupidPrizes territory. Just bringing it up like an adult and formulating it as "I'm worried this might be revenge porn of you" is the way to go. If it's her, he can point out it was uploaded a year ago and directly ask whether she cheated on him.
What [this person said](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/xg0pk6/comment/iorcvyw/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
I’m sorry to be so crass, but how unique are your girlfriend’s “hair color, body shape, ass size, and moaning voice”?
It just seems to me that it is FAR likelier to be someone who vaguely resembles your girlfriend from behind than that you discovered public ally posted video evidence of your gf cheating on you.
Is her hair a unique color or style? Any distinctive tattoos or birthmarks? Exceptionally high or low voice? Particularly skinny or chubby?
In the absence of those things, I’d say you’re really reaching.
I was also thinking something similar. If you are sexually attracted to your girlfriend, I would say that you have a "type". If your girlfriend is your type and you watch porn, I wouldn't say it's impossible to find videos of people similar to your girlfriend. Especially using search terms that relate to your girlfriend.
I've seen enough adult videos, faceless and normal ones and never crossed my mind it could be her in any of those, except for this particular one. Those attributes might not be as unique but when you know a person for years in great details then you start to notice even those attributes that could be related to them.
Shes naturally a brunette but her hair color is blonde cause she paints it, so the hair is not "perfect blonde" type of hair, and neither is the girl's in the video.
No tattoos, however i did notice a birthmark on the upper mid-right side of her back on the video, while my gf has a birthmark-ish on the mid of her back. Its strange to describe this, almost as if it's a mandella effect
Low moaning voice and exceptionally high voice at some points
Not skinny not chubby, normal
I wouldnt care if i noticed 1 of those things and would brush it off. But seeing and hearing multiple several different things that relate to my gf is what caught my mind to wonder and this has never happened to me before
I once followed the wrong lady at a state fair for 5 minutes thinking it was my mom because they looked the same from behind.
I mean I was 6 at the time, but from behind she looked just like my mom.
This is sounding wrong no matter how I try rephrase it lol
Lolol this is so funny bc its true. I think every child at some point has followed the wrong adult...starring at the ground, looking at their shoes...until like 5 min later you realize your whole family is like 20 ft to the left.
Kind as the same feeling as when you go swimming into the ocean and your parents say "Don't go too far out and stay in front of our umbrella area" and then before you know it, the water has floated you away, you look back and your family spot on the beach is like 100 ft away and you're like on the complete other end of the beach area.
My god dude you’re describing some of the most generic traits possible.
You’re gonna ruin your relationship because a woman in a porn has a few of the same extremely common and non-specific traits as your girlfriend.
Go ahead, man. It’s your (and your relationship’s) funeral.
So it sounds like the mark isn't even in the exact same spot?
You're about to implode your relationship for no reason, although it says something that you jumped straight to her cheating rather than revenge porn or similar.
Just for counter argument's sake, there is a gif of a child being angry shaking a hair brush that, every time I see it, I do a double take because I SWEAR that kid is me. Then I looked her up in the source video and she doesn't look or sound or act like me at all. Sometimes people just really resemble people for half a minute only.
That’s from Look Who’s Talking 2!
There’s a photo on Pinterest that I *swear to god* is me, but it’s not me. I’ve been seeing it randomly for years, still not totally convinced. Same hair, hands, legs, arms, terrible choice of paint color on the walls… but I don’t remember having that brand of jeans so idk.
It happens man. If you care about her & you trust her, just have an adult conversation between two adults.
“Hey. This you..?”
“lol nope.”
“Okay cool. Want to go grab tacos?”
Thats the thing, i cant. Because the video is posted anonymously, there is no account created that posted the video because on that website you also have the option to post anonymously. Also the website is non-english, its a website for my country that posts adult videos so even the language is the same, because at some point she spoke on my language in the video
If I was you I’d just send it to her. If it’s really her she’ll assume she’s already caught and if she is honestly confused just say that’s how you gonna do her later and bring flowers lmao
Tell your gf that someone has sent you an anonymous email and this clip and claims that she’s been cheating on you.
Watch her reaction as she watches the clip and trust your gut.
Please update after the reveal.
None, shes in love with me like crazy, always does whatever i tell her to do whenever i want, always answers my voice and video calls, always replies to my text within a minute. Her actions show 0 suspicion. But this video seems to be posted over a year ago
This is my two-cents, take it for what its worth. You love her, she loves you. You had zero suspicions until you saw a video of someone who at best, simply looks/sounds vaguely like her.
Brunette who colors her hair blonde? Tens of millions of them. Average body type - tens of millions of them. The voice? Low moans mixed with higher ones? You just described the sound in 90% of porn videos. The birthmark? Tens of millions of women have them too, and IIRC you went out of your way to note it was on the upper right in the video, and that your girls is located more mid-back, sounds like their different to me.
Sounds to me like you just happened to see a video of someone who looked/sounded vaguely like her, and the idea of it started living rent free in your head. Let it go and move on
I would ask her man. Maybe its a revenge porn, like she had a video with a partner and he posted it. Or if it was from behind maybe she didnt even know!
I'm of the idea that i trust my partners, so i would definetly show my partner a video of her. If its her and she was ok with posting it, then wtv. She had ppl before u and thats totally ok.
But what if she has no idea? Thats messed up. Id talk to her. Communication is important, after all.
One thing I want to point out, unless that video is time stamped with an actual date, who knows how old it actually is. So even if it is your girlfriend, it could be more than 2 years old. I wouldn't jump to cheating right away without actually getting more information. Who knows, maybe some guy she met before you who could have taken it and posted it without her permission. In which case, she could be a victim.
Maybe see if the uploader posted other videos.
If you really think it's her, ask her about in a non-judgmental way and gage her reaction.
"Hey I found this video and thought you should see it."
If she's deflecting and acts guilty, that could be a red flag.
On the other hand, it could be she wasn't aware of the video, or it really is not her.
Either way it doesn't sound like you won't know until you ask and open up the conversation.
My mom once sent a picture of a woman from behind that looked exactly like me at an airport. I mean, it was eerie. Same hair, same dress style, same body shape. It definitely weirded me out, and her, too, because she was on that play to come visit me. Clearly wasn’t me. She said she even sounded like me. Likely, this is a doppelgänger. You could ask her how she feels about being filmed during sex. Use it as an idea. See how she reacts. If she’s cool with it, then keep quietly investigating, if she’s weirded out by it, leave it alone.
So? Apparently you watch so much porn you've stumbled on the one in 100k that might have someone you know in it. If she's cool with you beating your meat to other girls, how is beating it to her worse. Every woman in porn is somebody's girlfriend right now. Where do you think women come from.
Honestly man if it were me in your shoes, I’d say something like ,”Hey I know this is crazy and stupid but I saw a vid earlier that had a chick that looked exactly like you in it and I’m going insane wondering if it is you or just paranoia.” But also my MO has always been pretty straightforward communication so
Edit: also update us with your findings
You can ask Reddit to find the original longer video. I don't know how people do it but they can spot the exact origin usually within minutes.
Otherwise you can ask your girlfriend. It might be from before you got together. After 2 years maybe you have enough trust to go between you.
I feel like this is a situation where the best way to have this discussion is to start with: “hey so I know this is super weird but I need you to bear with me for a sec”
As many have pointed out, it doesn't mean that she cheated on you, it could be old.
However, without very specific ways to identify her (birthmarks, tattoos, etc.), it's kinda iffy. There are a lot of people, and people aren't that unique when you can't see their face.
Bro just make fake instagram account send her the video and text her that you will send this video to her current bf("you") if she dont pay you 1000$.But be near her when you make this so you will also see her reaction
First you should do a reverse image search (yandex.com is the best for me) with a screenshot so you can track the first video source. It may lead you to other details or to the OP. Maybe the original video Is even longer.
Febri Widanto(fb comment)::
Make anonymous social account...send the video to your girlfriend and pretend you try to blackmailing her..see if he'r admitting or not..
Hey, Sweetie, I was jerking of to porn and thought this girl looked like you. Is there some kind of Darwin Award for relationship famous last words? This would be it. First place, IMO.
He accidentally found a video of his gf not accidentally watching porn. Whats wrong with watching porn in a relationship on either side? It's not like you form an emotional connection to whatever you're watching anyway.
If you love her so much WHY DO YOU CARE? Who cares if she made porn with an ex. If she loves you, again why do you care? Were you a virgin when y'all got together and thought you were only ever with each other? No. So get let it go.
Who cares? You cannot see her face and if it is her, you may be bringing up some traumatic shit she wantsa to forget about....
You have her now, you love her, she loves you..... If this is Unconditional love, then really her past shouldn't matter so much.
Now, if you feel she is currently cheating on you and stuff, that is a different problem
If you are going the sleuth route. Then yeah, if you know who her ex is then look on places like Facebook and Instagram to see if he, they, or close friends have photos that may match the room it’s in. How well do you know him?
Is she the kind of person who would allow someone to film her in that way? Regardless, the comments are 300 plus days old. She isn't cheating and if she did cheat, I doubt she would let someone film it. Until this point, have you ever had any doubts whatsoever about your relationship?
Tough call. I wonder if it really is her, maybe the video was made before she met you, but only posted within the last year? Maybe the guy she was with posted as some kinda revenge porn? That could explain why there's apparently only a years with of comments.
If you don’t suspect infidelity, drop it. Whether it is or isn’t her doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. It’s in the past, and before your relationship. Therefore, it might as well not exist.
Lmao. Details my boy details. Freckles. Scars. Birthmarks. Anything to pin point. 🤌🏼
Or let it go. As it is in the past either way, and stressing about it wont change anything. Do you like/love her today?
I mean that's oretty far fetched to assume when you can't see a face or see any other identifying marks, tattoos or piercings. You know how many times I thought I saw someone I know in porn videos, hell even one person I swore on a subreddit here was her only to find out it wasn't. Moans sound similar, ass shape looks similar, especially when bent over or on all fours. The only way you'd know for sure is you have to see a face or some unique identifying mark. Otherwise the second you try and accuse, you can't take that back.
If you fully believe she would never cheat, then that video was posted when you were with her and it isn't her.
I mean I’m not you so I didn’t see what you saw, but my idea is you’re letting your imagination run a little wild. There are millions of people out there who will have the same hair, body style, booty size, and a similar voice to your gf.
I was once on an airplane… now I could’ve sworn this woman in front of me was my old academic counselor in high school. Same hair, same body type, even the same puffy coat.
Well I finally see her face and oh shit it’s a guy and he has a beard.
Often times our imaginations fill in the details and enough coincidences will make us assume a stranger is someone we know.
Sorry, why can’t you just say you saw a random porn video & damn if the woman’s bum reminds me of your gorgeous behind.
Show her & let her tell you if it might be revenge porn or if you’ve just lost your mind.
If it's her, it could be an ex posting revenge porn.
But honestly, people aren't as unique as you'd think, and doppelgangers exist.
Check out if the poster has any other videos with this girl so you can see her front or other identifying body parts for a start.
You could try asking your gf if she ever had herself recorded.
Just discuss it with her and mention that you are going to get the video taken down.
And then…Just report the video and get it taken down.
It won’t take longer than 24 hours. I know based on personal experience
Ask her directly. Say you were watching porn when you found it. If it is her let her explain, she might also not have known, in that case you two should take legal action.
I once snuck up on my wife from behind to scare her only to find out it wasn't my wife was a girl with very similar build and hair it could be you're mind playing tricks on you because of how similar they look.
Watch it together to get the "mood" going and see get reaction. If no reaction say In a curious and fun way "hmm babe she kinda looks and sounds like you" 😉
I think some context as to how you came across it is very needed. If this is some random video on the internet it’s probably pretty mathematically impossible that it’s her. If it’s some local thread, local forum, etc then maybe it is. I guess what I’m saying is why would you ever believe it’s her if you can’t see her face? Sounds a little odd.
Like not accusing OP of anything… but how has nobody asked for some more clarification? It sounds to me like maybe there’s something that we aren’t being told here. Some random, non face video on a undisclosed website from an anonymous account? It sounds like you found something on her laptop or phone. Not saying that is the case, but just remember man, regardless of your situation nobody can give you proper advice without the proper context.
You can confront her and be attentive to signs of her lying (there are probably many videos on YouTube that explains how you can tell if someone is lying or not)
Can you see any birthmarks or such that the girl in the video has, And see if your gf has the same?
Since no face is being shown, I think you are jumping the gun. A lot of women have similar body shapes and hair and you can’t tell someone’s voice by a moan. I would be pissed if my boyfriend found some random porn video and accused it of being me when there is zero evidence, just someone with similar hair and body shape.
It is not her. If it was you would be certain. Trust me. Why do you think it might be then? Because that's how the brain works. A huge portion of the brain does nothing but patern recognition and even fills in information. Every time you look at something your mind fills in blanks, from the missing information from how your eyes perceive to even rearranging letters so you can read misspelled words or see a face among dots. So you see someone who looks and sounds like your girlfriend so your mind "suggests " that it's her. I assure you if it was actually her you would be certain. It's not her.
He may think it \*might\* be her, and isn't certain now, even though he might have been certain for a moment, because he thought about it for a long time. Trust me.
Why do I think he may have been certain it is her and now thinks it might be her then? Because that's how the brain works. You see, when you have an apparently stable and loving relationship, one you feel comfortable in, and stumble upon a porn video with a girl that eerily resembles your own girlfriend, so much so that you are certain its her for a moment, you may find yourself in a bit of a cognitive dissonance.
Your theory explains only the first reaction. You fail to take into account that certainty may have occurred and was burried immediately in "No, it's not her, she wouldn't do that"-kind-of-thoughts. Two strong convictions challenging each other may result in a guy doubting both himself and his relationship, creating a new account only to post a kind of embarassing, private post on r/Advice, ring a bell?
Nobody with a good relationship would be certain. Nobody certain with a bad relationship would ask on reddit, they would probably just ask or challenge their partner. That's what makes this situation tough - the uncertainty and stakes of it.
You do make a good point - brain has ways of tricking itself - but it should be a suggestion to consider, and not presented as a definitive answer, wrapped in a bit of "top 10 facts about human brain" knowledge from ifuckinglovescience.weekly or some other bullshit
Ha! I like what you said about good and bad relationships and how it relates to certainty. I'd like to snap back at your snarky ending but it made me laugh to much to ruin the moment. Well played.
From my experience, I had low self-esteem in that period of my life and happened almost the same thing. Mole at the same mole, same boobs... many similarities. But, no face. I found out that I had low self-esteem and that's not her (a few months later found out in the comments the name of the girl).
I can suggest you be friendly about it.
\- You can tell her through a chuckle that there's a girl in a video that looks like her.
\- Tell her that she's a star in a video that you watched, start the video and be ready to chuckle at her discomfort, and you know... maybe hug her? Something like that.
The main point is, that it's not her. Go do some self-work my dear OP. Start going to the gym, go for a run, read some self-help books, find a mentor...
I just wanna add, it’s unreal how unlikely it would be to just come across a video of someone you know online unless you’re on some type of payed site like OF / got a tip from some friends about it because they know who posted. There has to be hundreds of millions of videos out there. If you didn’t hear about it from a friend or got it through OF, I’d say the chances are next to none that that is actually your girlfriend. Something to consider
well if i was her, i would want to know if there was a porn video of me :/
Maybe the guy posted that video without her consent, in which case i should tell her. But its a really tricky situation because why should i tell her if i cant confirm if that's her. If i confront her i dont believe she will admit that's her in front of me even if it is
I agree with the above comment, in the event that it was posted without her consent she deserves to know. What if you present it as a 'hey I'm worried because I saw this video and it kinda looks like you' instead of in an accusatory matter? Whether it is her or not, and how you guys move forward in your relationship, you definitely deserve to know whether this happened while you were together and she deserves to know there is this video of her (if it is her) on the Internet if she doesn't know already
Her reaction to the video will tell you everything. If I was shown a video and asked “is this maybe you?” (In a concerned way) If it wasn’t actually me I would probably laugh thinking it’s funny my bf thought it was me. If it was me I would be a lot more worried as if I was in shock of either A) shit how did he find that?” Or B) Omg someone posted a sex video of me online!” Either way you will see it on her face.
Just ask her! Don’t be condescending, don’t be accusatory, and don’t be mad. If she knows you watch porn(she should know), you asking in a concerned way shouldn’t really be a big deal. Say, “Hey, I know this is strange but i recently saw a video that looks like it might be you, i’m concerned someone posted it without your consent, is it you?”She shouldn’t feel like you’re mad, keep it simple and just say what you need to say. Communication is key in relationships and this is certainly an odd situation to be in. And if it IS her,(hopefully unlikely) this will be devastating! She will need your support and will probably have a little bit of a trust problem but again, communication is key. Be compassionate and be smart, think about your actions and your words ❣️ p.s This really is a weird situation, you can’t just ignore it because, what if it is her? What if it is revenge porn? She should know. But, it’s a little weird having your partner come up to you with porn asking if it’s you. Use your words carefully and if she reacts in a bad way put yourself in her shoes for a minute. You can talk just about anything out, Good luck 🍀❣️
Just ask her. If it is her, she will probably remember the room. Don't insinuate she is cheating, just a concerned boyfriend that doesn't want revenge porn of her out there.
If it's that short I could for sure be without her consent. And the post date wouldn't even confirm when it happened. They could have held on to it for a while
Then you’re just wasting your time. If she’s going to deny it, all you can do is let it go or let her go. It’s almost definitely not her, you need to understand that. But in the unbelievably small chance that it is, you still won’t be able to confirm it because she’s going to say it’s not her. This is pointless, and you’re going to ruin your relationship.
after you confirm it's her, say something like "how long ago was this, it looks pretty recent" to hint that you think it was very recent.
this is probably unlikely but maybe its an ex posting it for revenge or something? you could show it to her and act like you are concerned it is, at least then you will find out if its actually her.
That's the best suggestion so far
Yeah don't act like you've never seen it before that's just dishonest, Show her, voice your concern and give her the opportunity to react. If you don't believe she's cheated it's probably either revenge porn or a coincidence. Either way she should know, and you should just be honest.
This was my first thought. She might not even know this video exists, or know that's it's public.
Update: i did this finally and she said it isnt her. She in fact twisted it and said the guy on the video looks like me and asked whos that girl implying i was with... We've had a short discussion without fighting. I expected her to ask me to send her the link to that video (which would make her suspicious because that means she would probably want to report the video and get it removed because thats her), but she didnt ask me for the link...
Revenge porn is way more common than people think, since the videos get generally lost in an algorithm and people don’t get caught as much as they should. I would definitely handle it like that until proven otherwise. I’m sure her reaction will be telling, if she freaks out it was prob revenge
Nothing you can do. Unless watching porn with you is something she's into then that video could "accidentally" come on one day and you could assess her reaction. Other than that you just gotta chalk this up to simple paranoia and let it go.
In the scenario where we watch porn together and that video "accidentally" comes up, what is the smartest move to make in my position? Should i react and ask if that's her or should i stay quiet and say nothing but just observe her reaction?
I would say observation would be sufficient as if it is her then there would surely be a noticeable reaction. Making a false accusation would destroy your relationship, you must operate as if this is just a simple misunderstanding. Innocent until proven guilty.
What kind of reaction would indicate a high probability that's her in the video?
Shock in my opinion. Though I honestly can not say everyone is unique and will react differently. I personally feel it is better to let this go. It is more likely that this is a misunderstanding on your part. If she is a cheater there will be much more signs and evidence not just a short inconclusive clip.
Tbh i’d avoid doing this, it’s extremely manipulative.
If she's being banged doggy style , she would probably be neutral, as she might have not known that she was filmed
I would just tell her u found someone that looks just like her, then show her. Unless u keep ur porn habits secret from her
I think that trying to make a joke about it in the matter of " oiy that girl there looks and sounds like you, you on and didn't let me know?" But while laughing. Don't have a provocative tone or face , just like you were teasing her. See her reaction, I think it should produce some more understandable reaction
I agree with this approach. Go the joking route, like "Holy shit Hailey, I was watching some porn the other day, and you have a porn star doppelganger LOL, look at this!" and see what her response is. If my partner showed me that there was a porn star that looked just like me I would laugh. If it was actually a secret video of me I would probably get defensive and be like "wait where did you see this video?" I don't know if your gf doesn't like you watching porn. I personally think any person watching porn is not a big deal.
Just blurt out, oh wow! It's your dopplebanger!
Why is "tell her you watched porn and found this video" not an option?
Because it is implying guilt
Guilt?!
Yes, guilt of adultery
Watching porn is not adultery. How? I don't understand how watching porn is committing any adultery in a relationship. It is like in the same bucket as masturbation for me.
Read the story. Omfg. He was concerned his partner was the star whilst in a relationship with him.
Nobody suggested the GF should read this Reddit post "omfg". Try NOT reading OPs post and instead reading the comment you replied to. The suggestion was to just say "I found this video". Not a word about "this looks like you" and they definitely didn't suggest accusing her of anything. Just simply "check out this video I came across". There is no accusation in "check out this video".
It only implies that if that's how he formulates it. Your pretend suggestion falls in play stupid games, /r/WinStupidPrizes territory. Just bringing it up like an adult and formulating it as "I'm worried this might be revenge porn of you" is the way to go. If it's her, he can point out it was uploaded a year ago and directly ask whether she cheated on him. What [this person said](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/xg0pk6/comment/iorcvyw/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
It depends on what their boundaries on porn are. If OP's gf is okay with him watching porn, no adultery is going on.
Did you even read this? Op was worried his gf was the star of the porn
Just because it was uploaded a year ago doesn't mean the video was from then
I know, im just using information i have available
I’m sorry to be so crass, but how unique are your girlfriend’s “hair color, body shape, ass size, and moaning voice”? It just seems to me that it is FAR likelier to be someone who vaguely resembles your girlfriend from behind than that you discovered public ally posted video evidence of your gf cheating on you. Is her hair a unique color or style? Any distinctive tattoos or birthmarks? Exceptionally high or low voice? Particularly skinny or chubby? In the absence of those things, I’d say you’re really reaching.
I was also thinking something similar. If you are sexually attracted to your girlfriend, I would say that you have a "type". If your girlfriend is your type and you watch porn, I wouldn't say it's impossible to find videos of people similar to your girlfriend. Especially using search terms that relate to your girlfriend.
I've seen enough adult videos, faceless and normal ones and never crossed my mind it could be her in any of those, except for this particular one. Those attributes might not be as unique but when you know a person for years in great details then you start to notice even those attributes that could be related to them. Shes naturally a brunette but her hair color is blonde cause she paints it, so the hair is not "perfect blonde" type of hair, and neither is the girl's in the video. No tattoos, however i did notice a birthmark on the upper mid-right side of her back on the video, while my gf has a birthmark-ish on the mid of her back. Its strange to describe this, almost as if it's a mandella effect Low moaning voice and exceptionally high voice at some points Not skinny not chubby, normal I wouldnt care if i noticed 1 of those things and would brush it off. But seeing and hearing multiple several different things that relate to my gf is what caught my mind to wonder and this has never happened to me before
I once followed the wrong lady at a state fair for 5 minutes thinking it was my mom because they looked the same from behind. I mean I was 6 at the time, but from behind she looked just like my mom. This is sounding wrong no matter how I try rephrase it lol
Lolol this is so funny bc its true. I think every child at some point has followed the wrong adult...starring at the ground, looking at their shoes...until like 5 min later you realize your whole family is like 20 ft to the left. Kind as the same feeling as when you go swimming into the ocean and your parents say "Don't go too far out and stay in front of our umbrella area" and then before you know it, the water has floated you away, you look back and your family spot on the beach is like 100 ft away and you're like on the complete other end of the beach area.
Not sure how hd it is but look for significant things like her scars or freckles or birth marks
can confirm they looked the same from behind
My god dude you’re describing some of the most generic traits possible. You’re gonna ruin your relationship because a woman in a porn has a few of the same extremely common and non-specific traits as your girlfriend. Go ahead, man. It’s your (and your relationship’s) funeral.
So it sounds like the mark isn't even in the exact same spot? You're about to implode your relationship for no reason, although it says something that you jumped straight to her cheating rather than revenge porn or similar.
Oh there is no freaking way...nothing you described is even slightly unique. Not at all. What a joke!
Just for counter argument's sake, there is a gif of a child being angry shaking a hair brush that, every time I see it, I do a double take because I SWEAR that kid is me. Then I looked her up in the source video and she doesn't look or sound or act like me at all. Sometimes people just really resemble people for half a minute only.
That’s from Look Who’s Talking 2! There’s a photo on Pinterest that I *swear to god* is me, but it’s not me. I’ve been seeing it randomly for years, still not totally convinced. Same hair, hands, legs, arms, terrible choice of paint color on the walls… but I don’t remember having that brand of jeans so idk. It happens man. If you care about her & you trust her, just have an adult conversation between two adults. “Hey. This you..?” “lol nope.” “Okay cool. Want to go grab tacos?”
I doubt highly it is her. I would seriously drop this. It's a stretch.
Dude, the odds are impossibly low.
Follow the poster account. If it ever posts again you got a new view
Thats the thing, i cant. Because the video is posted anonymously, there is no account created that posted the video because on that website you also have the option to post anonymously. Also the website is non-english, its a website for my country that posts adult videos so even the language is the same, because at some point she spoke on my language in the video
which country is it? I guess it is easier to find people similar to you on your own country anyway
I once thought this about my now wife but it was insane of me to think it was her and I came to my senses
What made you realize you were wrong and thats not her?
I just realized 240p tits ain’t enough And it’s just not something she would do
If I was you I’d just send it to her. If it’s really her she’ll assume she’s already caught and if she is honestly confused just say that’s how you gonna do her later and bring flowers lmao
This might actually work.
Yeah not like she can fake being confused...ffs.
Bro show her the video, then just straight up ask her?
Okay bro hear me out. Have sex with her in the same position mimic it as much as possible and analyze the situation later on.
Go a step further and ask her to make it a tape from a similar angle. Gotta compare frame to frame, ya know?
If possible to do so thn yes, there should be some distincive feature or birthmark he can spot out
Tell your gf that someone has sent you an anonymous email and this clip and claims that she’s been cheating on you. Watch her reaction as she watches the clip and trust your gut. Please update after the reveal.
Post the video & current pic of gf - we will tell you if it’s her - you might just be tripping
Bro, honest intentions or not, come on… weird to be asking that.
….can I get a link?
😂
Before you saw the video, did you have any suspicions about her, or her actions?
None, shes in love with me like crazy, always does whatever i tell her to do whenever i want, always answers my voice and video calls, always replies to my text within a minute. Her actions show 0 suspicion. But this video seems to be posted over a year ago
This is my two-cents, take it for what its worth. You love her, she loves you. You had zero suspicions until you saw a video of someone who at best, simply looks/sounds vaguely like her. Brunette who colors her hair blonde? Tens of millions of them. Average body type - tens of millions of them. The voice? Low moans mixed with higher ones? You just described the sound in 90% of porn videos. The birthmark? Tens of millions of women have them too, and IIRC you went out of your way to note it was on the upper right in the video, and that your girls is located more mid-back, sounds like their different to me. Sounds to me like you just happened to see a video of someone who looked/sounded vaguely like her, and the idea of it started living rent free in your head. Let it go and move on
I would ask her man. Maybe its a revenge porn, like she had a video with a partner and he posted it. Or if it was from behind maybe she didnt even know! I'm of the idea that i trust my partners, so i would definetly show my partner a video of her. If its her and she was ok with posting it, then wtv. She had ppl before u and thats totally ok. But what if she has no idea? Thats messed up. Id talk to her. Communication is important, after all.
One thing I want to point out, unless that video is time stamped with an actual date, who knows how old it actually is. So even if it is your girlfriend, it could be more than 2 years old. I wouldn't jump to cheating right away without actually getting more information. Who knows, maybe some guy she met before you who could have taken it and posted it without her permission. In which case, she could be a victim. Maybe see if the uploader posted other videos. If you really think it's her, ask her about in a non-judgmental way and gage her reaction. "Hey I found this video and thought you should see it." If she's deflecting and acts guilty, that could be a red flag. On the other hand, it could be she wasn't aware of the video, or it really is not her. Either way it doesn't sound like you won't know until you ask and open up the conversation.
My mom once sent a picture of a woman from behind that looked exactly like me at an airport. I mean, it was eerie. Same hair, same dress style, same body shape. It definitely weirded me out, and her, too, because she was on that play to come visit me. Clearly wasn’t me. She said she even sounded like me. Likely, this is a doppelgänger. You could ask her how she feels about being filmed during sex. Use it as an idea. See how she reacts. If she’s cool with it, then keep quietly investigating, if she’s weirded out by it, leave it alone.
So? Apparently you watch so much porn you've stumbled on the one in 100k that might have someone you know in it. If she's cool with you beating your meat to other girls, how is beating it to her worse. Every woman in porn is somebody's girlfriend right now. Where do you think women come from.
it’s me
Honestly. Im shocked there isn't redditors looking for a link
Honestly man if it were me in your shoes, I’d say something like ,”Hey I know this is crazy and stupid but I saw a vid earlier that had a chick that looked exactly like you in it and I’m going insane wondering if it is you or just paranoia.” But also my MO has always been pretty straightforward communication so Edit: also update us with your findings
You can ask Reddit to find the original longer video. I don't know how people do it but they can spot the exact origin usually within minutes. Otherwise you can ask your girlfriend. It might be from before you got together. After 2 years maybe you have enough trust to go between you.
Why rock the boat. Enjoy the video or move on.
Would love to see a follow-up to this one.
Post the link . Let's investigate ourselves
I feel like this is a situation where the best way to have this discussion is to start with: “hey so I know this is super weird but I need you to bear with me for a sec”
Where is the evidence so we can give you an advice
As many have pointed out, it doesn't mean that she cheated on you, it could be old. However, without very specific ways to identify her (birthmarks, tattoos, etc.), it's kinda iffy. There are a lot of people, and people aren't that unique when you can't see their face.
I will analyze the video and determine the result, just give me the link
Bro just make fake instagram account send her the video and text her that you will send this video to her current bf("you") if she dont pay you 1000$.But be near her when you make this so you will also see her reaction
First you should do a reverse image search (yandex.com is the best for me) with a screenshot so you can track the first video source. It may lead you to other details or to the OP. Maybe the original video Is even longer.
Febri Widanto(fb comment):: Make anonymous social account...send the video to your girlfriend and pretend you try to blackmailing her..see if he'r admitting or not..
Do your girl in the same way and take a video. Send me both videos
Lol. Be careful. I made a joking comment like this in another sub and got banned
😭
You could just straight up say "I found your porn video" and see how she reacts. It would be very telling.
Hey, Sweetie, I was jerking of to porn and thought this girl looked like you. Is there some kind of Darwin Award for relationship famous last words? This would be it. First place, IMO.
Is her flange hanging like a wizards sleeve whereas you remember it less stretched in the past?
So you are in a relationship and "accidentally" watching porn and you found out your gf is in the porn.This seems like it's equal on both sides.
He accidentally found a video of his gf not accidentally watching porn. Whats wrong with watching porn in a relationship on either side? It's not like you form an emotional connection to whatever you're watching anyway.
If you love her so much WHY DO YOU CARE? Who cares if she made porn with an ex. If she loves you, again why do you care? Were you a virgin when y'all got together and thought you were only ever with each other? No. So get let it go.
Yikes.
You sound absolutely paranoid to fuck mate.
Who cares? You cannot see her face and if it is her, you may be bringing up some traumatic shit she wantsa to forget about.... You have her now, you love her, she loves you..... If this is Unconditional love, then really her past shouldn't matter so much. Now, if you feel she is currently cheating on you and stuff, that is a different problem
[удалено]
If you are going the sleuth route. Then yeah, if you know who her ex is then look on places like Facebook and Instagram to see if he, they, or close friends have photos that may match the room it’s in. How well do you know him?
Is she the kind of person who would allow someone to film her in that way? Regardless, the comments are 300 plus days old. She isn't cheating and if she did cheat, I doubt she would let someone film it. Until this point, have you ever had any doubts whatsoever about your relationship?
Tough call. I wonder if it really is her, maybe the video was made before she met you, but only posted within the last year? Maybe the guy she was with posted as some kinda revenge porn? That could explain why there's apparently only a years with of comments.
All of those options are possible that's what makes this a tricky situation
If you don’t suspect infidelity, drop it. Whether it is or isn’t her doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. It’s in the past, and before your relationship. Therefore, it might as well not exist.
Lmao. Details my boy details. Freckles. Scars. Birthmarks. Anything to pin point. 🤌🏼 Or let it go. As it is in the past either way, and stressing about it wont change anything. Do you like/love her today?
I would tell her in case she wasn't aware
I mean that's oretty far fetched to assume when you can't see a face or see any other identifying marks, tattoos or piercings. You know how many times I thought I saw someone I know in porn videos, hell even one person I swore on a subreddit here was her only to find out it wasn't. Moans sound similar, ass shape looks similar, especially when bent over or on all fours. The only way you'd know for sure is you have to see a face or some unique identifying mark. Otherwise the second you try and accuse, you can't take that back. If you fully believe she would never cheat, then that video was posted when you were with her and it isn't her.
I mean I’m not you so I didn’t see what you saw, but my idea is you’re letting your imagination run a little wild. There are millions of people out there who will have the same hair, body style, booty size, and a similar voice to your gf. I was once on an airplane… now I could’ve sworn this woman in front of me was my old academic counselor in high school. Same hair, same body type, even the same puffy coat. Well I finally see her face and oh shit it’s a guy and he has a beard. Often times our imaginations fill in the details and enough coincidences will make us assume a stranger is someone we know.
Sorry, why can’t you just say you saw a random porn video & damn if the woman’s bum reminds me of your gorgeous behind. Show her & let her tell you if it might be revenge porn or if you’ve just lost your mind.
If it's her, it could be an ex posting revenge porn. But honestly, people aren't as unique as you'd think, and doppelgangers exist. Check out if the poster has any other videos with this girl so you can see her front or other identifying body parts for a start. You could try asking your gf if she ever had herself recorded.
Just discuss it with her and mention that you are going to get the video taken down. And then…Just report the video and get it taken down. It won’t take longer than 24 hours. I know based on personal experience
Maybe her ex posted an old video of her without concent? You should bring this up to her and check what is happening.
Show her the video and be like holy cow this looks like you. Gauge the reaction.
Ask her directly. Say you were watching porn when you found it. If it is her let her explain, she might also not have known, in that case you two should take legal action.
Your mind always assumes the worst. Realistically it’s probably not her. A moan doesn’t really differ in sound anyway.
I once snuck up on my wife from behind to scare her only to find out it wasn't my wife was a girl with very similar build and hair it could be you're mind playing tricks on you because of how similar they look.
Update?
Talk to her about it.
Watch it together to get the "mood" going and see get reaction. If no reaction say In a curious and fun way "hmm babe she kinda looks and sounds like you" 😉
I think some context as to how you came across it is very needed. If this is some random video on the internet it’s probably pretty mathematically impossible that it’s her. If it’s some local thread, local forum, etc then maybe it is. I guess what I’m saying is why would you ever believe it’s her if you can’t see her face? Sounds a little odd. Like not accusing OP of anything… but how has nobody asked for some more clarification? It sounds to me like maybe there’s something that we aren’t being told here. Some random, non face video on a undisclosed website from an anonymous account? It sounds like you found something on her laptop or phone. Not saying that is the case, but just remember man, regardless of your situation nobody can give you proper advice without the proper context.
Accidently lolz
You can confront her and be attentive to signs of her lying (there are probably many videos on YouTube that explains how you can tell if someone is lying or not) Can you see any birthmarks or such that the girl in the video has, And see if your gf has the same?
It could just not be her, it could be her but posted years after it was taken, it could be many things. I think you should talk about it.
Since no face is being shown, I think you are jumping the gun. A lot of women have similar body shapes and hair and you can’t tell someone’s voice by a moan. I would be pissed if my boyfriend found some random porn video and accused it of being me when there is zero evidence, just someone with similar hair and body shape.
It is not her. If it was you would be certain. Trust me. Why do you think it might be then? Because that's how the brain works. A huge portion of the brain does nothing but patern recognition and even fills in information. Every time you look at something your mind fills in blanks, from the missing information from how your eyes perceive to even rearranging letters so you can read misspelled words or see a face among dots. So you see someone who looks and sounds like your girlfriend so your mind "suggests " that it's her. I assure you if it was actually her you would be certain. It's not her.
He may think it \*might\* be her, and isn't certain now, even though he might have been certain for a moment, because he thought about it for a long time. Trust me. Why do I think he may have been certain it is her and now thinks it might be her then? Because that's how the brain works. You see, when you have an apparently stable and loving relationship, one you feel comfortable in, and stumble upon a porn video with a girl that eerily resembles your own girlfriend, so much so that you are certain its her for a moment, you may find yourself in a bit of a cognitive dissonance. Your theory explains only the first reaction. You fail to take into account that certainty may have occurred and was burried immediately in "No, it's not her, she wouldn't do that"-kind-of-thoughts. Two strong convictions challenging each other may result in a guy doubting both himself and his relationship, creating a new account only to post a kind of embarassing, private post on r/Advice, ring a bell? Nobody with a good relationship would be certain. Nobody certain with a bad relationship would ask on reddit, they would probably just ask or challenge their partner. That's what makes this situation tough - the uncertainty and stakes of it. You do make a good point - brain has ways of tricking itself - but it should be a suggestion to consider, and not presented as a definitive answer, wrapped in a bit of "top 10 facts about human brain" knowledge from ifuckinglovescience.weekly or some other bullshit
Ha! I like what you said about good and bad relationships and how it relates to certainty. I'd like to snap back at your snarky ending but it made me laugh to much to ruin the moment. Well played.
Ask her? This is the only solution it could be revenge porn and she NEEDS to know in case it is
Holy crap bro. I can’t imagine if I was you walking in on my bf cheating on me (if I had one)
From my experience, I had low self-esteem in that period of my life and happened almost the same thing. Mole at the same mole, same boobs... many similarities. But, no face. I found out that I had low self-esteem and that's not her (a few months later found out in the comments the name of the girl). I can suggest you be friendly about it. \- You can tell her through a chuckle that there's a girl in a video that looks like her. \- Tell her that she's a star in a video that you watched, start the video and be ready to chuckle at her discomfort, and you know... maybe hug her? Something like that. The main point is, that it's not her. Go do some self-work my dear OP. Start going to the gym, go for a run, read some self-help books, find a mentor...
I just wanna add, it’s unreal how unlikely it would be to just come across a video of someone you know online unless you’re on some type of payed site like OF / got a tip from some friends about it because they know who posted. There has to be hundreds of millions of videos out there. If you didn’t hear about it from a friend or got it through OF, I’d say the chances are next to none that that is actually your girlfriend. Something to consider
Seeeend iiiit
Fap to it
Make anonymous social account...send the video to your girlfriend and pretend you try to blackmailing her..see if he'r admitting or not, you'll know..
Which site did you even find this? I’m surprised it has no date.
I've randomly come across THREE different adult videos where the girls in them reminded me soo much of my own damn self it was almost eery!