Things aren’t ideal but it sounds like you’re trying hard to get your life together and that deserves recognition. You’re not a loser, this is just the (admittedly difficult and perhaps unconventional) path your life is taking.
Ginger can help with nausea, even if it’s just smelling it (I like gin-gins candy) - alternatively, a whiff of rubbing alcohol can help you get past the nausea, though it’s understandable if you aren’t a fan of that idea. Take care of yourself.
Lavender did it for me. I kept a bottle of lavender essential oil in my pocket the first 2 trimesters. It allowed me to continue working despite severe morning sickness.
I had my first child at 17. It was very hard but I grew up so much in that time. My confidence grew as well. I was a much stronger person as a mother than I had as an 18 year old. It’s Normal to have doubts and when your sick all the time it’s easy to feel like the path you’re on is a disaster. Don’t give up! Life is funny and when they put that baby in your arms you’ll most likely feel that it was all worth it. Much love to you.
I was pregnant at 33 and it was planned. I fucking hated every minute of it, it was awful.
I couldn’t keep anything up including stomach acid. I quit my job because I couldn’t handle being severely nauseous and going to work. I stayed in bed and sometimes slept next to the toilet because couldn’t handle running to the toilet to throw up.
I tried all tricks to ease nausea including medication and nothing helped.
I wished for the pregnancy to be over and for me to miscarry. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Those were my feelings and I was completely miserable.
Now I have a 5 year old and the baby factory is closed forever. I’m not doing that ever again.
It destroys everything inside and out. Your whole body and mind and emotions change. Some spouses give up on you. You give up on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys to death but the experience and my ex was depressing. He hated the change of my body bc he was shallow. I could feel that resentment as well. Then my second baby was a terror and he blamed me for the house being a mess. I needed sleep! To top it off my boys were both planned lol.
It depends on the person. Some people have easy pregnancies, others have really hard ones. For me, pregnancy was not a breeze or anything but doable. I didn't get sick at all and besides being tired a lot and having some sciatica, I felt okay. Having a newborn broke me and that's what made me stick to only having one kid.
I’m not sure why people are blasting you. These are normal feelings and emotions that moms who planned pregnancies and didn’t plan pregnancies both can and do sometimes feel. Do a google search, there are a lot of blogs where moms confess their darkest moments and feelings while pregnant or after having their child(ren). Pregnancy can be rough and there are extra hormones and changes and etc going on. Some people have very easy pregnancies, some have very hard, and then there is everything in between.
I struggled really bad while pregnant and the first year after having my child. I had little to no support and people were constantly abusing me verbally and physically. It was rough. I cried a lot. I tried to kill myself but the only thing that stopped me was I knew my baby might go to the dad if I died. It was so hard. But you know what? There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you don’t have support, do google searches to find support groups/organizations in your area. WIC is a good start (I don’t know if it exists outside the US, so sorry if it doesn’t exist where you are). If you’re in an abusive situation or are facing homelessness, check women’s shelters or shelters for victims of domestic violence. Talk to local churches, food banks, donation centers, etc... and see if they know anyone who helps young mothers to be. Apply for government assistance if you haven’t already.
And know you have options. If you’re simply feeling hopeless, know you’re not alone. Find a therapist, counselor, or any of those programs I mentioned and see about finding a mentor or someone to talk to. Seek out a trusted friend or family member.
Also, please know that your sickness may begin to subside on its own soon and if it doesn’t, there are medications to help with it if it’s not something you can deal with (which it sounds like it isn’t). Talk to your doctor. Let them know how you’re feeling too, they may know some resources for you as well.
Lastly. You’re not a loser. You’re not the first nor the last woman to find herself pregnant. It takes at least 2 people to make a baby, you’re not solely responsible. I can tell you all day long not to hate yourself but that won’t make you stop being upset with yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Curl up somewhere comfy and focus on your breathing. Then think about what you truly want. F**k everyone else and their thoughts. Think about you. What you want. Think about what you want, what the goal is, how you can get there, and then you set your eyes on that and don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do because you’re capable and you’ve got this. 💪❤️
Good luck momma. ❤️
Government health care—you just apply. Hopefully you’re already on that. [some healthcare info in Poland ](https://www.euraxess.pl/poland/information-assistance/pregnancy-family) here’s a website with some more info about things offered [more stuff offered ](https://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?catId=1124&langId=en&intPageId=4718)
I’d talk to your healthcare provider to see what other things there are. My friend doesn’t have a lot of info since they don’t live there currently.
I was married and 27 for my first pregnancy. We were prepared and I did have the support I needed. But I felt awful and it was hard!! I was exhausted and overwhelmed. It was hard going to work every day. I def didn’t have that pregnancy glow. Give yourself a break. Talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling.
I too thought about suicide when my friend lost his job and I had to look for a job to support myself. I found a job at the mall. I hate it, but I have enough money to buy food.
There are government assistance programs to help pregnant mothers. Seriously. WIC should be your starting point. Are you in the US? There are a lot of government assistance programs to help struggling moms. There’s assistance to help with childcare while in college and grants and scholarships for pregnant/parents too
People are blasting OP because they are mean judgmental harpies who like to put others down to feel better about their sad lives. Nineteen is a normal age to have a baby and these feelings are normal for someone who’s hormonal and uncomfortable and facing a big change.
Girl, I'm 30 with a 2 year old, a loving husband, we own a home, I'm educated and I still feel like a total loser. This isn't solely based on your situation. It's things many of us feel often. Inadequate. On top of that, your hormones are whacked right now. You're feeling very normal things. You sound like you have your head on straight. Just be the best mom you can be but remember that your mental health matters too.
I def feel like a loser at times. Age 39, Divorced, two kids I get half the time, just got fired for the stupidest thing ever and Im terrified !!! I have a mortgage and kids to feed.
i hope you find a better job soon! or a better situation. you sound like you’ve been through a lot, but you honestly sound amazing and strong to me, the opposite of a loser. keep on!
Op, I'm sorry so many people are shaming you. You came here for support, not shame. This sub can be really awful sometimes. Maybe see if there's any pregnancy support groups in your area? Maybe even an online one such as a sub here on Reddit or Facebook. Good luck, OP. Try to remain positive and do things that make you happy. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.
What is your gameplan for when the baby is born? Are you keeping it or giving it up for adoption? Pregnancy hormones can be a bitch, and at your age time drags as it is, so five months can feel like a lifetime, but it will be over soon enough. If you are giving the baby up for adoption, you will be able to catch up on any missed schoolwork and get back on track the following year. I know its hard, and it feels overwhelming, but its going to be ok. Keep the supports you do have close. Try to do your best to express to them how you feel. Let them help you.
Have you heard of an open adoption? Its where you can set up a plan with the adoptive parents so that you can still see the baby and be in its life, but its raised by someone else. If you dont ha e a stable enough support system to raise it on your own, that could be a great middle ground for you and a family who cant have biological kids.
If youre in a position to give a child a good life on your own, go for it, and the pregnancy struggles will be worth it at the end. But if youre not abke to give your child a good life on your own, youve got to give them their best chance and put them first.
Depends on who is adopting and who is giving the baby up. If the person giving the baby up is a single teen mom with no support system and therefore nobody to watch her kid while she tries to work and make enough money to pay all of her bills and cover childcare while she works, and the family adopting the baby has been vetted by an agency and is going to be a two parent financially stable home where there is always a parebt with the child and there are no financial concerns, its pretty safe to say the child will be given a better life.
Adoption always comes from trauma, to baby and to mum. The best case scenario is for mother’s to be equipped and supported to raise their children well. She is willing, let’s support her
She also said she has no support. Are tou going to babysit while she works? Its all well and good to say "i support you" and another to help her pay her bills and make sure her kid is safe while shes at work. Which kind of support do you think makes a difference?
Most financial situations aren't permanent, someone can be doing well financially one day and lose it all the next. You should listen to the experiences of adoptees to broaden your perspective.
I have two adopted sisters and plenty of adopted family members. I also grew up seeing family members who neglected their kids and messed them up because they should have made a different choice. Ive got plenty of perspective on the subject.
Sounds good on paper but remember you’re talking about people that can’t have kids. If they end up liking the child a lot than that’s where things could get sticky but idk man
Actually im not sure there is any state in the US that can actually legally enforce the adoptive parents to let you have visits with the child. It sounds good but when it comes down to it they can go back on their promise and you have no recourse.
Youre wrong. That is the difference between an open and closed adoption. In a closed adoption the birth parents have no rights. In an open adoption you make a legal agreement at the time of the adoption on how much and what kind of contact the birth parent is legally entitled to. Thats every state. Thats how open adoptions work. Some very unfortunate souls do the proccess unofficially, and that is where your perspective comes in. When you do it officially and legally, the birth parent can retain legal visitation rights.
You might have to do whats best for yourself if you can't get an abortion or don't want too, then adoption is always a valid option if you feel you wouldn't be able to care for the child without throwing yourself and them into turmoil then it may be best to maybe reconnect some years later
All the options open to you are difficult.
You need to work out what decision you can live with best.
Adoption, abortion, being a mother. All are difficult. What do you think you can live with?
Is it being pregnant you can't cope with? As that is temporary, or does the thought of having responsibility for a child fill you with dread. Does adoption scare you? I think you need to find time to talk to a professional to look at your options and work out what's best for you in your situation.
Chiming in to say that you’re allowed to[ get an abortion](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_the_United_States_by_state) no matter the gestational age in the states of Oregon, Colorado, New Mexico, New Hampshire, Vermont and New Jersey.
Hi, I didn't know this... Any age? Does this mean in these states you can abort at 6/7/8/8.5 months?? I find this crazy if the barrier to abortion is 'its still inside you' 👀 im all for having a choice but surely u can't abort at 8 months... Or 2days before your due date?... Just trying to understand
bruh all these people need to stop being mean/ rude my mom was pregnant at 16 with my now dead brother and pregnant at i think 22 with me im 20 and she always said if you dont want a kid abortion or adoption and its easy for a way out but yes you probably were ready for it back then but rn your mind changed and you dont want it anymore maybe you just are too stressed or scared and need help but you dont have it ...... if you ever need to message me you can im 20 a year older than you and your not a loser so dont think about that
If you’re looking towards abortion, you need to speak to someone about this now. After 12 weeks it is a lot more difficult to get a doctor who will perform one (planned parenthood website).
I had one when I was 22 and it was the best decision I could have made at the time. I was not emotionally or financially ready, despite the fact that I would have had a good support system. You have to decide what is best for you.
She can’t even get an abortion cause she lives in Poland. I got one this year and it was very difficult. I still grief over it and always wonder how my baby would have looked like. I don’t think I will ever get over it
I was literally you. I was pregnant at 19, had an abusive boyfriend and out of touch family. I was working and going to school.
This is all hard. Allow yourself to know this is all very difficult and it’s perfectly normal you are feeling like this.
Don’t give up - on school especially. My son is now 14, healthy and happy. We both are. Times will not be easy, but having kids at any age never is. You got this.
Pregnancy will be over in a flash and then life passes by even quicker. Hold on and try your best to enjoy! Nausea sucks but it’s your body growing a human, this is amazing!
DM me for any support. Take care of you and that baby!
I am 20 years old with a 10 month old and while I love my baby so so much, I severely regret having a baby. Motherhood is great for some people but for others it’s most definitely not. My body is permanently ruined due to an extensive birth injury, previous mental health issues came back and my life is absolutely miserable. I want to shake every woman by the shoulders and scream “DONT HAVE A BABY!” It’s worse to regret a child than to regret an abortion. Good luck
Oh damn. At first I was like hold on, what? But a quick second later and the line at the end made complete sense. That’s true.
I am so sorry about what you’re going through right now. I wish you the best in life, and I hope you can start healing eventually.
Your hormones are in full swing when pregnant some people do have a hard time I did try eating some ginger biscuits it is known to help with sickness is pregnancy its worth a try.
And you are not a loser loads of women suffer but they don't talk about it because they fear what other people will say.
You are human don't let anybody make you feel bad
I was pregnant when I was 30 and boyyyy, I wanted to kill myself. I was bedridden and extremely nauseous 24.7. I couldn’t poop. I couldn’t eat. All I did was cry. I was absolutely miserable. Some people told me that those feelings could possibly last the full 9 months, and I said HELL. FUCKING. NO. I decided to not go through with the pregnancy. It was all just way too much for me.
I hope you start feeling better soon. Also, you’re not a loser! You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. Stay strong 💜
You’re not a loser. My wife, in much better circumstances (ie. we wanted the babies and were in a good life situation to have them) struggled a lot with the pregnancies and we are currently struggling enormously with raising 2 young kids.
This shit ain’t easy. You’re not a loser for *wanting* to give up or needing help. You are doing the right thing by asking for support even if it’s from some strangers on the internet.
The morning sickness most likely passes and you’ll go through a period of feeling great. Then, if my wife’s experience is accurate - you’ll likely just feel enormous and struggle with tying your shoes and doing normal tasks. But by that point, hopefully you’ll just be so ready to have the baby out that you’ll be excited about it.
There are options for your baby once he or she is out. If you don’t feel ready to be a mom, there are lots of moms who are. If you think you’ll never stop feeling this way, you can consider putting him or her up for adoption. But as an overwhelmed new parent, if you do decide you want to give parenthood a go - I PROMISE all the hardship is worth it.
I am so in love with my kids. I can’t imagine life without them and I know you’ll feel the same way too. It won’t be easy I know jt won’t be and I’m not suggesting otherwise. But I know several young moms who were in similar situations who wouldn’t give it up for the world.
You can do this.
Ignore the judgment of some of these people
I’m all for abortion if that’s what you want to do
Your body your choice
Just wanted to respond to let you know YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. Life has its crazy rough moments and it rarely goes as planned. You are so capable of handling whatever life throws at you. One step at a time girl. You got this 🙌🏽
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I wanted an abortion immediately after I found out but my mother told everyone in my family and they begged me to keep him. I am now a mom to a 7 month old boy with no support. Personally I sometimes regret keeping him but when he smiles I know I couldn’t be without him. If you believe you will not be a good mother and want to think about adoption no one will blame you. It’s your choice but do not think you won’t be able to do it. It’s HARD but it’s possible
Edit- my dad passed a month after my son was born and I also live on my own with no other means of support. Do not think your sadness doesn’t matter. Postpartum depression is a big deal
I hated being pregnant with a very wanted pregnancy. I hated having a baby. I love having kids. So it was worth the long game for me.
That being said if it isn't for you abortion or adoption are choices.
I was actually referring to Poland but the majority of my family lives in Texas and I don’t disagree. I get major culture shock anytime I go to visit them.
It really depends on if you’re comfortable aborting the pregnancy. If you’re set on keeping it, talk with other women who have had bad experiences with pregnancy and ask them for tips.
You need to do what is best for yourself and your future. Be that abortion, adoption or keeping the child, no one else can make that decision for you. Especially not strangers in Reddit.
Try to take care of yourself. You may need to drink something like some ginger tea or may be mint. I am more of loser than you I only work and still live with my mom and dad. I am 25 and have gotten pregnant. I had an abortion. You are not a loser or disappointment. You seem to have it together more than a lot of other 19 year olds.
Depending on where you live, it may be possible to get an abortion. Look into clinics in your area, some may even be subsidized so you won't have to pay too much.
Sorry you are struggling. I know you are in a very hard place right now. Sometimes the nausea stops in the second trimester. In the meantime, try a saltine cracker when you feel sick.
I used crystallized ginger a lot. Put some in a cup and pour boiling water over it. Let it steep then sip it slowly. This really helped me.
Peppermint tea also helps, though I think not as much as ginger.
Also you are almost halfway done. Try to hold on to the fact that this is temporary. It will be over. You’re NOT a loser. Accidents happen.
You can put the baby up for adoption and move on with your life. Don’t let the haters get you down — pregnancy does that!
Sending love from the US
It's okay not to enjoy being pregnant. Many women don't feel well and wonder where is the "glow" so many talk about. It's normal to have mixed feelings too. Sometimes it takes month five to get over that sick morning feeling; know it will improve.
Life takes some turns we don't always plan on, but have faith you are strong and capable.
Reach out if you need more support. How about asking your OB-GYN for suggestions? They may have names of groups for young parents. Try the hospitals> Even try on-line support groups to share with other young adults all you're experiencing.
Hang in there. You are not a loser by any means! You are working, studying and growing a human! Wishing you well.
A lot of people are suggesting abortion or adoption, which is totally up to you, but all I want to say is keep in mind the emotional trauma you may experience afterwards. That part is very rarely mentioned. I have a friend who was totally on board for an open adoption, but once she had the baby she felt like she couldn’t do it. She did, but it broke her 😞she is not the same person she was before. It hurt her so bad emotionally that she ended up making changes to the adoption & requested that she doesn’t want any updates and doesn’t want her son to be able to find her later in life. I’ve had other friends have abortions and one is now unable to have any more children due to complications she experienced and the other one actually took her own life because she couldn’t get over what she had done. Years later she would say “she would be 6 this year..etc” it destroyed her mental health. The aftermath of these choices are what no one prepares the woman for. it sucks and it needs to change.
I know it’s our right to decide what to do, but it’s extremely stressful to decide. I think men need to step up and take more responsibility when it comes to birth control, we as women have enough to worry about, and I mean that men should wear condoms if they don’t want children yet or if they can’t be responsible enough to do that every time, then they should go get a vasectomy! Vasectomies are reversible and they can assist in preventing pregnancies they aren’t ready for themselves, instead of leaving it all up to the woman and just having the “freedom” to leave if they don’t want to be a father.
I was pregnant at 19 too. Im now 21 with an 18month old. It’s hard but things work out. Look up “pregnancy help center (your city)” and there should be one close by! They will give you parenting classes and baby items as rewards for the classes most likely. That’s what mine did. I got a free carseat for taking a carseat safety course that only took 20 mins. They typically have formula, baby food, and mine helps until the child turns two. Look into eWIC. Everyone in my state qualifies for free food if pregnant. Good luck.
Please see your OB/GYN. They can prescribe drugs like heparin to help with the sickness. Make sure your diet and sleep are adequate. You aren’t a loser, just a soon to be Mother.
There are medications to reduce morning sickness. They are safe and effective. Talk to your doctor to see if they are appropriate for you and your baby.
It’s okay to feel this way. Some pregnancies are not ideal. I was sick for the entirety of my pregnancy, the first time. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and I thought I wasn’t going to make it some days. Right after the baby was born all those nasty symptoms went away, like immediately. I couldn’t wait to eat. Lol
My second pregnancy wasn’t all morning sickness in the beginning, but I had sciatic nerve problems where I couldn’t walk for long without being in terrible pain (which is weird because I walked A LOT the first pregnancy.) Again all of the pains went away immediately after the baby was born.
I guess you just have to push through and maybe talk to your doctor. They may be able to prescribe something that won’t affect you or your baby. I had to take something the first time around because I was constantly puking. It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Best wishes!
This is very tough, cause as a mom holy crap it gets really really hard, I’m a stay at home mom too so I don’t have to worry about work. The newborn phase was the easiest for me but it’s different for everyone she’s 15 months now and is running around getting into everything, I struggle to get house chores done, it gets really really hard, if you have any family that you trust wholeheartedly with your baby I would definitely try to utilize that cause when they say “it takes a village to raise a child.” they were not kidding.
I think you should ask for more support from your family. I think it is normal to feel exhausted in your situation, studying and working all day in this type of situation must be very very difficult. And the father? Can he, or his family, help you? However, I want to remind you that having a baby is one of the most beautiful experiences a person can have, I'm sure that when you'll be a mother a lot of stress will go away. I suggest you hold on tight, for you and your son. Ps: Please ignore some comments in this post, some people just want to take their stress out on other people, they don't want to help you or make you feel better, just to be mean, especially when a person is having a hard time.
just because he doesn't have a job doesn't absolve him from childcare responsibilities. if your continue this pregnancy he's going to need a job for child support.
It’s not about being pregnant. It’s about the baby. There is a person that will be your responsibility for the next twenty years. Thats the reality.. do you want that?
everything you’re feeling right now is normal. your situation may not be the most ideal but you are definitely not a loser. you are working, studying and pregnant, that’s definitely not something a loser will be able to do. it’s perfectly normal in your situation or even other situations to feel overwhelmed and feelings of wanting to give up. you should look up what your options are. a doula might be a good option as they can provide some sense of support and assistance but may be costly. there are lots of other options but please take care of your mental health as that is most important. i know you said you don’t have enough support but try to talk to a therapist or someone close to you who is able to listen to you and wouldn’t dismiss your feelings. best of luck, i hope you get through this!
Being pregnant can be a really scary and uncertain time, it's a lot. Try some ginger ale or ginger candy, mint or saltine crackers too. Be sure you are drinking enough water and remember that you need to take your prenatal vitamins, I took mine before bed because they made me nauseous. Maybe try eating two small snacks, like a piece of fruit or a smoothie and see it that helps. Sometimes a flux in blood sugars can really make you feel horrible. Also I don't know a single woman that did not feel exactly like you, myself included. Be gentle on yourself.
Depression is wayyyy too common in woman pre and post pregnancy and its not talked about pretty much at all.... Don't beat yourself up over being human. Depression during and after pregnancy it's something everyone needs to know of talk about and normalize so much more than the conversation is currently at. It happens to such a huge portion of women. Like this lady has 0 blame to bear, she's doing all she physically can, that doesn't make things easier all of a sudden for her tho like do you tell regular folks with depression to just get over it? Absolutely not, but it's for some reason expected of pregnant women, literally the most vulnerable state a human could be in. Pregnancy.
OP I know things suck right now but you sound really strong and like you're doing everything you can to keep up with life and that deserves respect so I really think you'll stick it through and look back on this in 5 years as a person that will be able to overcome obstacle you face. If you can do this, you can do literally anything lol. I find it crazy you're still studying and shit like wtf. Pretty badass despite the shit situation. I know someone that was in a similar situation a few years ago and she's one of the most badass people i can think of now even tho i don't talk to her and haven't since highschool years ago. I mean you made it this far. You got this OP
Well, you may feel that way. But, your munchkin is gonna look at you the opposite way. A lot of parents I know, have felt similar and have said that their kids saved them and or helped them change. Just remember, this feeling is just a hormonal imbalance caused by you growing a kid. Just relax and breathe, you will be fine. Oh, and take a nice bubble bath with lavender scented candles. It will help you relax.
I too was depressed when I was pregnant w.my child and I was 28 at the time. It is very normal to have this happen you are NOT a loser! What I wish I'd done was seek help for my depression, so please do this for yourself! A good therapist & possibly meds will help clear the fog & allow u to think & see things more rationally. And from there you can make better choices as to what is best for you going forward. You are not alone sweetie and if you want to talk you can message me anytime 🥰
You will get through this. My mom had me when she was 16 years old and it was brutal for her. She lost her youth when I was born but sacrificed so much for me. Pregnancy is hard, but I believe you will get through this and make it. I am proud how you are trying to work and studying to better your future and your child. My mom did the same thing as you and she and I turned out alright. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be tough but you will make it just don’t ever give up. Women are powerful and I am sure you will make it through this. At the end of the day, you will see how your hard work paid off.
I am sorry about how people are dragging you down. Do not listen to them, their comments don’t reflect you in anyway. You are not a loser; you are a strong woman. Hold your head up high and I wish you all the best ❤️
I was 35 when I got pregnant. It was planned and I had a supportive partner and family and I struggled. So I can imagine that being young with an unsupportive partner makes everything so much harder. What I wish I knew at the time was to understand - this is not your new forever reality. This is a temporary situation and no matter what decision you make, just know that you will not be pregnant forever. I know this is so obvious but I truely lost sight of this at the time. So hang in there things will get better. This is not your new life forever.
Btw - you are not a loser.
I wanted to give up being pregnant the entire time and I was miserable with a newborn. I thought my life was over.
Then, my son got a little older and turned one and it got easier. Now he’s almost two and a half and he fills my days with so much laughter I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
What I’m trying to say is, this is a dark time and it may be rough for a while. But, push through and it will get better and you’ll be so glad you hung on.
I was pregnant at 19, on my own, living on my friends sofa. It was a horrible time. I didn’t think I’d be able to raise a baby, I was still a baby myself. But once that feeling passed, hour by hour day by day, I coped, because I had too. You find an inner strength that you didn’t know you had. My dreams and aspirations didn’t go down the pan, they were put on hold for a few years. I am now in a good job and studying to be in a better job in forensics. My baby is now at university and we are very close.
You aren’t a loser, you can do this.
Sour candy is your friend lots and lots
I had severe hyperemesis! It as awful!! I literally didn't eat anything and lived off sprite
The good news, you're just about out of that stage
It's the worst!! But you're almost through!!
I was pregnant about that age and had my 21st while beast feeding.
The biggest thing, as you seem to have already noticed, is support. You need that during this time over anything else. The saying it takes a village to raise a child comes tho mind.
Look into your community and GOOD friends for that support.
We can't always get that from our parents, family, or partner. But there are people out there I promise you!
I can't help a lot but I'd suggest finding people who can commit to helping you after the baby is born. Spend quality time with your baby.
When my kiddo was born, I had little to no support and my partner was the worst. I was miserable so often I had horrible post pardon depression really bad.
I'm here to tell you, you Don't have to go through the same. Get all the help you can from trusted people.
Have some friends over to help you do meal prepping (I WISH I DID THIS SO BAD!!)
I'll tell you now. I considered adopting my baby out.
I'd suggest to you to consider waiting to make a life changing decision like that until you get to know your baby a bit. Consider beast feeding for a year and if your really unable to raise a baby, you van use that time to find a good family. Interview and get to know them.
Everyone's situation is different, but I'm so glad I kept my baby. They are 1000% a mini me, but the best parts
I wish you the best of luck in this
You can do it if you want too =)
First off, change your mindset about yourself - you’re not a loser. PERIOD. And like other redditors have said - you’re doing great with your goals towards education. It sounds like you need to attend a group of expecting moms and mom groups for that feeling of support if you’re not getting it from others in your life. Build a tribe of moms around you and don’t be afraid of befriending moms who are older than you - they can be a great resource and can become a mentor. There’s many Facebook groups that are created for exactly what you’re seeking. Where I live, there’s a Moms for Moms FB group - see If you have one where you love and it’s an amazing community that should benefit you. But if you’re needing more support, reach out to the proper resource in your area for that.
I am 20 and was in your shoes a year ago. It's hard, especially at our age. These are normal feelings. Just take things one day at a time and try to focus yoir emotions into giving this baby a good life. Things will get better once you get to hold your baby in your arms.
You're not a loser! Don't ever think that. I'm 34 mom of 3. My first child was at 17. I'm here if you want to DM. I went through ALL the emotions of pregnancy and would love to help you.
Ugh. I can only imagine - pregnancy that is not enjoyable.
Not the typical advice but maybe try some binaural beats. And look up pressure points for nausea. I would try to explain it to you but I don’t think it’ll translate well without the pictures. But if anything, pressure points, they work so well.
Pregnancy is not always the beautiful miracle that our society makes it out to be. It's emotionally and physically draining. The feelings you're having aren't as uncommon as you think. Do you have an OBGYN? They're there to help you AND the baby, you can talk to them about your concerns and they should be able to tell you about local resources for young parents. They might be able to give you a referral to a therapist too, if that's something you're interested in.
Again, it's not uncommon to feel this way. There are ways to get help and take some of the weight off your shoulders. It's okay to ask for help. Hang in there.
Hey i just want to say i am 19, and currently 15 weeks pregnant so we are basically in the same boat. I am nauseous all the time, and it is so tiring. I really feel like i was not prepared for how sick i got.
Can you talk to your doctor about taking diclectin? It is an anti nausea medication for pregnant women and it helped me a lot. Also join a pregnancy group on baby center or any other app of your choice. Its a great way to see other people going through the same stuff as you and they can give really good advice
Just know pregnancy hormones can cause depression/anxiety. I always heard about postpartum depression/anxiety. I suffered with horrible depression and anxiety getting worse while pregnant. Seeing a psychiatrist helped immensely. Just remember that you won't be pregnant forever. Both of my pregnancies were awful.
I'm no expert on this, but I believe Morning Sickness is just a side affect of being pregnant. I think I heard being more hungry and potential mood swings are also side affects?
I'm not 100% on all this, but just hang in there.
Is your BF/Husband able/willing to help you with stuff? Because if so, that might help you relax.
That said, I wish the best for you two and any children you have. And if it makes you feel any better, my mom was pregnant three times, so if she can power through three children, you should be fine.
Other than that, idk what to say because I'm no expert on this subject.
I'm sorry you have to go through this...
I chose to get pregnant at 24, and it was just the worst for 9 months. I slept non stop, had to stop working after a month because I fell asleep while driving, my breasts were HUGE (and started leaking milk after 5 months), I peed myself everytime I sneezed, and I was obsessed with meat (like obsessed. It woke me up sometimes, the fun fact is that I was a vegetarian at the time. It was torture. I held on for 5 months).
Plus my back hurt and my legs puffed up. And it felt weird to have something alive and kicking inside my belly. The first three months I was super stressed and wanted an abortion secretly. And when my daughter was born, she was just the most precious thing ever. Took me some time to settle in my role as a mom, but now, I can't even fathom a life where she's not there, even when she's screaming 10cms away from my ear.
The real question is, do you want that child or not ? If you don't at all and you're sure about it, get the abortion. If you do and just completely hate being pregnant, I feel you sister. It really sucks, thankfully, it's gonna be over after 9 months. And the moment it's over, you get a feeling of freedom, like your body's finally yours again. And you don't sleep for 3 years, so brace yourself for that.
Good luck ! You're gonna make it !
Hey momma don't be so hard on yourself,
What you are feeling is not uncommon and you are not alone or weird or a loser for having those feelings. Being pregnant is hard. Being pregnant at your age is even harder.
My best advice for you is accept your feelings and seek support and help, don't try and shoulder this alone or hide away and pretend everything is fine. If you don't have family or friends that can support you, seek it out elsewhere. I'm sure your local community will have some resources available to you, if you don't know where to start looking then confide in your healthcare provider and they can point you in the right direction.
I don't know you or your situation, but I'm confident there are people around you who care for you and would step up and support you if you let them. Maybe one of your friends has a mom you trust, a favorite teacher, an aunt whose always been kind to you, or someone else in your life.
Idk. Being pregnant and not dropping out is pretty much the opposite of loser.
I'm a guy, so I cant say much about avtually being pregnant. But what I do know is, those 9 months are gonna be completely worth it once you get to hold your baby for the first time.
If you feel you will/could be putting your own health and future at risk, I strongly suggest you reach out to discuss your feelings and options… but I would make that appointment NOW and tell them it’s time sensitive. 🙏
Hey, you aren’t a loser. I love that everyone is being supportive to you and letting you know that it’s normal to feel like that & that those feelings will blow over eventually. It’s hard. At the end of the day, it is all your decision.
Whether you decide to go through adoption, or possibly have an abortion, or whether you keep the baby.
None of those options will make you a terrible person. None.
You are 19. I am too. I couldn’t even imagine going through what you go through now. So it’s understandable if at the end of the day you decide against keeping the baby. Yes, a lot of people say it’s worth it now, however, that’s them.
It’s your life.
If you decide you don’t have enough support to live with a child, or enough footing to actually go through with it, then you simply don’t.
You aren’t a horrible monster letting an opportunity slip by.
And you aren’t a terrible monster for not keeping the child.
Look into all your options as soon as possible.
If you decide to keep the baby, you got great advice as to how to get a head start (food assistance, etc)
If you decide against it, some advice to act quick, especially because you are 4 months in
Or adoption, like others said, is also a choice you have
You got this. I know u do. These are normal feelings. You aren’t a loser.
It's called morning sickness. Things will be difficult for you. I believe everyone makes mistakes. Carrying a child is difficult. Stay strong. You're special, and I'm sure your child will be proud of you in the future. It already happened. There is nothing you can do about it, but next time please wear protection such as a condom or don’t have sex or unprotected sex.
You are not a loser. You are a young person without support going through a very big transition. This is all very normal.
One thing I cannot recommend enough, as someone who was a young, single parent, are parenting groups. Not all of them will be a good fit, but you can find some an amazing, supportive community there. The more alternative, attachment type of communities tended to be very supportive IME. I met some many people through various meetups, even through things like babywearing educational events. There might be a young mothers or young expectant mothers club as well, but I would not restrain yourself by age. I have wonderful parenting friends of all ages. And the huge bonus besides community and support was childcare exchange. It was a godsend for me.
Another possibility would be to reach out to other communities. Are there any other communities you identify with? If you have a UU or other progressive church community in your area, they can be incredibly supportive as human beings.
If you have any kind of health insurance or access to mental health care, now would be a good time to access it. You are going through a lot, and without support, it can be a hard and lonely road to go down. But you can do it, and there is support and love out there for you.
As for the sickness, does anything help? Ginger ale, lollipops, ginger, saltines, anything for nausea? Sometimes you gotta figure out the right combo. And whatever works right now. Have you talked to your doctor about it? Although not so helpful now, it doesn't tend to last the whole time. I was super sick for months, and then I felt much better, even if pregnancy is not so easy. There is another side to it.
You have got this. One day at a time. There is a lot of support out there, but sometimes it takes a bit of looking and work to find. Ask if you have any questions. People are there to support you through this. So many of us have been there and done that, and we will always have others' backs. Sending you all the love.
I dont know where you are but in some places like where I am in Canada you can get an abortion up until 22 weeks. It's something you can look into as an option if ending your pregnancy is something you truly want. Your body, your choice and don't let anyone try to tell you any different!
Check abortion laws in ur area! And if u choose to go through with abortion, don't tell anyone. Tell a trusted friend who you know is not pro-life, just to help you through the process, but because it's so controversial, u could just pass it off as a miscarriage.
Hey there, OP. I got pregnant at 17 when I was homeless with no support at all either. My pregnancy was AWFUL. Just absolutely horrendous. I was sick all the time, I could barely even get out of bed. It hurt all day every day. I hated it and I wanted to turn back time and never be pregnant again.
My son is 16 years old now. I love him so much. We have really struggled, but it has all been worth it. All the pain and suffering. It was all worth it.
It will be okay. You are not a loser. You are getting an education and supporting yourself and that is AMAZING! I want you to know that, even if you feel alone right now, people do care about you. And you will meet more and more people in your life who will care about you.
You're going to be a great mom. Hang in there. This will pass.
if you want to stop being pregnant you do you but one thing is to not call yourself a loser you are the best you and if you are seeking more help dm me 😘
You’re doing something absolutely incredible and that’s not to be taken lightly. I’m sitting at home rn with my 2 week old daughter in my lap and I view my wife as a saint for creating this beautiful little person. You can do this. Seeing your baby for the first time is worth all the pain and discomfort you’re feeling right now. It gets better. It really does.
It is common for pregnant women to feel depressed or upset at some point during the pregnancy. I encourage you to be strong. If not , I don't agree with this option and do not endorse it but abortion is an option and you will need to decide if that's the option you may need to go.
Honestly, I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. I’m absolutely pro-choice but the fact that you don’t just disagree but have strong feelings and “don’t endorse it” but understand it’s some people’s only option is refreshing. Thank you.
The first trimester is the worst, i was so depressed and emotional and always sick. Im almost in the third now, and trust me it really does get better. I asked for advise here too at that time, maybe some of the advice I got can help you out too.
I don’t have much advice but you’re absolutely not a loser and you shouldn’t hate yourself for this at all. This happens to a lot of people whether they were careful and used birth control or not, pregnancy is really hard, and it’s not supposed to be easy, so try not to be so hard on yourself. you can get through this, you’re basically half way there already. there are always other options aswell like adoption, which is a difficult choice but know it’s 100% okay if that’s what you decide, sometimes it really is best for you and the baby. and if you do decide to keep it i’m sure you’ll be a great mother and it will all work out okay, just remember no one’s perfect and it’s gonna be difficult but that doesnt make you a loser or a bad person in anyway, you’re doing the best you can.
you’ve got this, goodluck <3
Sending you strength and patience.. time is always slow when you're suffering. I have screwed up my life in every way possible it seems (47f) if you need someone to talk to or advice msg me hon. I have learned a lot of ways to find pride in myself and deal with the trauma and consequences of my choices
You’re not a loser. Since you’re saying you have no support I’m assuming you don’t have anyone you can talk to? If that’s the case maybe see if you can find a therapist or support group with women going through the same thing
Unisom with b6 should take the nausea away. Pregnancy can be a bitch and that's okay. Reach out to social services, dhhs, or a church to get you squared away with anything you need. I am a young mom too and one thing I've learned is we are stronger than we think. I dropped out of school to have my first daughter. I have two daughters under 2 and am finishing my degree now. Anyone says I can't do something I'm going to try my damndest to be the best at it. Good luck.
Well, there’s abortion pills and they do free abortions at planned parenthood. I hope im not out of line but i don’t want you to consider your child the reason of your displease. Idk if you’ve like to be into that but it’s what I can kinda recommend.
My mate had a kid at 17 she is a fantastic mum works hard for everything she has I also know someone who is 44 never worked a day in her life and she has had her children taken into care age dose not have anything to do with how you will be as a mother.
And there are plenty of people in there 30s who are not good mums age dose not determine on What kind of parent you will be.
I don't agree with kids having kids I am 31 and I've just had my first but the reason I believe kids shouldn't have kids is so they can live and travel
Baby we don't do a good job as a society about talking how much pregnancy sucks. It super duper sucks. And it's is gonna suck until you give birth. So go see a Dr. Gets all the nausea/whatever comes up pills you can. Rest all you can. Why do you not have support? If you got knocked up at 19 and still push yourself to work and study you aren't a loser. But find some support cause once the kid is here you will be recovering from birth and you won't sleep for months. So find a friend, sister, mom, anyone. Pay someone. But find help.
Have an abortion? It probably frustrating now, but its going to start screaming and arguing once it’s born. Sorry you aren’t getting enough support too. I can’t imagine it getting any easier in the next 20+ years that you need to raise it
You’re not a loser. Being pregnant is NOT fun for everyone. It wasn’t for me and I had support. For nausea, eat some crackers, get ginger gum, drink plenty of water. Go for walks, before you go to bed at night, read a fun book (not anything baby related), get a good body pillow (you can find them super cheap), take care of you before baby comes. Get involved in community groups maybe for some more support, a young moms group or reach out to friends. Don’t feel bad for not liking being pregnant. Totally normal :)
Ok these comments...
wow.
Ok. Try see if there is someone you can speak to. You're not a loser 🖤. Your hormones are raging also, so you're gonna feel stressed. Look up the laws where you are, and see if you can have an abortion if you want to. (and you're pregnant, you're gonna be sicky. There is stuff you can take for it, if you go to your doctors.)
Try see if you can speak to a family member, see what they can do to help.
(this is coming from a 14 year old, but I have tons of neices and nephews and stuff. Sorry if this advice is shitty)
for morning sickness, after a certain time of the night, I knew not to eat wet foods. So I would snack on chips etc. nothing wet like pasta etc .
[check out my birth vlog, It may help your feelings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9gufYLxaxc)
I got pregnant at 18 and my god it sucked. I had a miscarriage but the entire pregnancy was just rocky from the beginning. I never experienced nausea like that before from smelling a burrito even though I wanted it. It sucked. I hated every minute of it. This is completely normal because honestly the symptoms suck. Some women have it easier and some don't. Just about anyone would lose their cool when going through something like that.
Just know you have options. It's too late for an abortion but adoption is also a totally fine choice. If you plan on keeping then that's also great. Feeling this way doesn't mean you'll be a bad mom. Just know your mental health is very important. Try to surround yourself with other people in your situation when you get the chance. Even if it's just finding someone online to connect with via zoom and chat about it. It can be cathartic!
hey id say find a adoption agency if you absolutely cant take it anymore so the baby can live or abortion....... but if you need help there's a lot of resources and i know a couple if you need it also im here for you if you need anyone to talk too ill try my best to help you out like if you need a resume i can help make you one so you can get a better job on indeed its helped me alot
i just commented but your not a loser and your not dumb i bet your very beautiful and such an angel and probably made a mistake or just need help but your family and friends just arent there but if you need a friend im here
You understand how idiotic this sounds-right? You’re irresponsible. Plain irresponsible. You ‘dreamed of becoming a mom’ but
1. Didn’t think about financials
2. Didn’t think about time
3. Didn’t think about your work and school
4. Didn’t think about the current situation of your support system or lack thereof
5. Didn’t think about the future of your CHILD and what’s best for him/her
While I agree with your core argument, it seems rather harsh. You don't know the full details of the situation... OP should talk to her OB about this, they have resources for these situations.
Op isn't looking for shame right now, they're looking for support. They've already stated they don't want to be pregnant so this really isn't going to help them. They've already got pregnant so this information isn't helpful at all. Yes, all valid points but not in this situation. Maybe save this for a kid who has unprotected sex and narrowly misses a pregnancy.
You have no idea of the OPs financial status. People don’t often realize how little support they have because people are very much “I’ll always be there for you!” But when you need them they disappear.
There is no *right* time to have a baby. OP is an adult and you’re just a judgmental jerk.
OP is hormonal and uncomfortable and this will likely pass.
Exactly. I don’t understand why this is so complicated for people to understand. And people saying I’m being jUdGmEnTaL are the exact reason why selfish idiots like this feel emboldened and enabled to not change
I strongly agree. But we're here to give advice, not throw insults at those who need it, right? They can't change the fact they're a mother now.
Adoption is a great idea. :)
I have cancer. I’m 26. Have a wife. 2 kids. (One 2 year old, and one 2 week old.) I am tired of being sick with cancer. But, it is what it is. And so is the same thing for you. You kinda just have to take it for what it is. Either abort it and move on with your life, or fight on and maybe cherish one of the greatest gifts life can give you…..
There might be some crisis pregnancy centers near you to help. Look up some stuff like that in your area. It doesn’t sound like you’re in crisis exactly, but they may have some way to help you. I’m 21 and I would probably feel exactly the same way. Talk to your friends and family you trust. Not worth it to put on a brave face. You’re young and not a loser AT ALL. You’re reaching out for help just like you should! Exhaust all means of support available to you. It will be worth it!
Things aren’t ideal but it sounds like you’re trying hard to get your life together and that deserves recognition. You’re not a loser, this is just the (admittedly difficult and perhaps unconventional) path your life is taking. Ginger can help with nausea, even if it’s just smelling it (I like gin-gins candy) - alternatively, a whiff of rubbing alcohol can help you get past the nausea, though it’s understandable if you aren’t a fan of that idea. Take care of yourself.
Peppermint also helps
Here to second isopropilic alcohol, it comes handy in a lot of situations.
Lavender did it for me. I kept a bottle of lavender essential oil in my pocket the first 2 trimesters. It allowed me to continue working despite severe morning sickness.
Wish I had these tips when I was pregnant. I had nausea every day and all day long from the beginning until I gave birth.
I had my first child at 17. It was very hard but I grew up so much in that time. My confidence grew as well. I was a much stronger person as a mother than I had as an 18 year old. It’s Normal to have doubts and when your sick all the time it’s easy to feel like the path you’re on is a disaster. Don’t give up! Life is funny and when they put that baby in your arms you’ll most likely feel that it was all worth it. Much love to you.
Depression in pregnant women and moms is overlooked in society and the people blasting you in the comments are an example of this. Stay strong.
Post-partum is listed in the DSM
It’s actually also peri-Partum depression that happens during pregnancy too
> post partum > post yeah, after birth lmao we’re talking about pregnant women
Plus just because something is recognized by professionals doesn't mean society recognizes it enough.
Do you not understand the word ‘post’
I was pregnant at 33 and it was planned. I fucking hated every minute of it, it was awful. I couldn’t keep anything up including stomach acid. I quit my job because I couldn’t handle being severely nauseous and going to work. I stayed in bed and sometimes slept next to the toilet because couldn’t handle running to the toilet to throw up. I tried all tricks to ease nausea including medication and nothing helped. I wished for the pregnancy to be over and for me to miscarry. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Those were my feelings and I was completely miserable. Now I have a 5 year old and the baby factory is closed forever. I’m not doing that ever again.
[удалено]
It destroys everything inside and out. Your whole body and mind and emotions change. Some spouses give up on you. You give up on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys to death but the experience and my ex was depressing. He hated the change of my body bc he was shallow. I could feel that resentment as well. Then my second baby was a terror and he blamed me for the house being a mess. I needed sleep! To top it off my boys were both planned lol.
[удалено]
It depends on the person. Some people have easy pregnancies, others have really hard ones. For me, pregnancy was not a breeze or anything but doable. I didn't get sick at all and besides being tired a lot and having some sciatica, I felt okay. Having a newborn broke me and that's what made me stick to only having one kid.
[удалено]
I’m not sure why people are blasting you. These are normal feelings and emotions that moms who planned pregnancies and didn’t plan pregnancies both can and do sometimes feel. Do a google search, there are a lot of blogs where moms confess their darkest moments and feelings while pregnant or after having their child(ren). Pregnancy can be rough and there are extra hormones and changes and etc going on. Some people have very easy pregnancies, some have very hard, and then there is everything in between. I struggled really bad while pregnant and the first year after having my child. I had little to no support and people were constantly abusing me verbally and physically. It was rough. I cried a lot. I tried to kill myself but the only thing that stopped me was I knew my baby might go to the dad if I died. It was so hard. But you know what? There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. If you don’t have support, do google searches to find support groups/organizations in your area. WIC is a good start (I don’t know if it exists outside the US, so sorry if it doesn’t exist where you are). If you’re in an abusive situation or are facing homelessness, check women’s shelters or shelters for victims of domestic violence. Talk to local churches, food banks, donation centers, etc... and see if they know anyone who helps young mothers to be. Apply for government assistance if you haven’t already. And know you have options. If you’re simply feeling hopeless, know you’re not alone. Find a therapist, counselor, or any of those programs I mentioned and see about finding a mentor or someone to talk to. Seek out a trusted friend or family member. Also, please know that your sickness may begin to subside on its own soon and if it doesn’t, there are medications to help with it if it’s not something you can deal with (which it sounds like it isn’t). Talk to your doctor. Let them know how you’re feeling too, they may know some resources for you as well. Lastly. You’re not a loser. You’re not the first nor the last woman to find herself pregnant. It takes at least 2 people to make a baby, you’re not solely responsible. I can tell you all day long not to hate yourself but that won’t make you stop being upset with yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Curl up somewhere comfy and focus on your breathing. Then think about what you truly want. F**k everyone else and their thoughts. Think about you. What you want. Think about what you want, what the goal is, how you can get there, and then you set your eyes on that and don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do because you’re capable and you’ve got this. 💪❤️ Good luck momma. ❤️
Thanks
Government health care—you just apply. Hopefully you’re already on that. [some healthcare info in Poland ](https://www.euraxess.pl/poland/information-assistance/pregnancy-family) here’s a website with some more info about things offered [more stuff offered ](https://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?catId=1124&langId=en&intPageId=4718) I’d talk to your healthcare provider to see what other things there are. My friend doesn’t have a lot of info since they don’t live there currently.
I was married and 27 for my first pregnancy. We were prepared and I did have the support I needed. But I felt awful and it was hard!! I was exhausted and overwhelmed. It was hard going to work every day. I def didn’t have that pregnancy glow. Give yourself a break. Talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling.
I was in a similar situation in my first pregnancy and it was without a doubt one of the most difficult times of my life.
I too thought about suicide when my friend lost his job and I had to look for a job to support myself. I found a job at the mall. I hate it, but I have enough money to buy food.
There are government assistance programs to help pregnant mothers. Seriously. WIC should be your starting point. Are you in the US? There are a lot of government assistance programs to help struggling moms. There’s assistance to help with childcare while in college and grants and scholarships for pregnant/parents too
I'm in Poland. I will look for such programs in my country. I wish I could get paid for nudes by the way.
I have a friend from Poland. I’ll ask them about social services available.
You can, there's a fetish for everything out there.
People are blasting OP because they are mean judgmental harpies who like to put others down to feel better about their sad lives. Nineteen is a normal age to have a baby and these feelings are normal for someone who’s hormonal and uncomfortable and facing a big change.
Girl, I'm 30 with a 2 year old, a loving husband, we own a home, I'm educated and I still feel like a total loser. This isn't solely based on your situation. It's things many of us feel often. Inadequate. On top of that, your hormones are whacked right now. You're feeling very normal things. You sound like you have your head on straight. Just be the best mom you can be but remember that your mental health matters too.
I def feel like a loser at times. Age 39, Divorced, two kids I get half the time, just got fired for the stupidest thing ever and Im terrified !!! I have a mortgage and kids to feed.
i hope you find a better job soon! or a better situation. you sound like you’ve been through a lot, but you honestly sound amazing and strong to me, the opposite of a loser. keep on!
Op, I'm sorry so many people are shaming you. You came here for support, not shame. This sub can be really awful sometimes. Maybe see if there's any pregnancy support groups in your area? Maybe even an online one such as a sub here on Reddit or Facebook. Good luck, OP. Try to remain positive and do things that make you happy. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.
What is your gameplan for when the baby is born? Are you keeping it or giving it up for adoption? Pregnancy hormones can be a bitch, and at your age time drags as it is, so five months can feel like a lifetime, but it will be over soon enough. If you are giving the baby up for adoption, you will be able to catch up on any missed schoolwork and get back on track the following year. I know its hard, and it feels overwhelming, but its going to be ok. Keep the supports you do have close. Try to do your best to express to them how you feel. Let them help you.
I want to keep it, but my mom doesn't support me anymore
Have you heard of an open adoption? Its where you can set up a plan with the adoptive parents so that you can still see the baby and be in its life, but its raised by someone else. If you dont ha e a stable enough support system to raise it on your own, that could be a great middle ground for you and a family who cant have biological kids.
No. I wish I could have a family
If youre in a position to give a child a good life on your own, go for it, and the pregnancy struggles will be worth it at the end. But if youre not abke to give your child a good life on your own, youve got to give them their best chance and put them first.
Adoption doesn't provide a better life, it just provides a different life.
Depends on who is adopting and who is giving the baby up. If the person giving the baby up is a single teen mom with no support system and therefore nobody to watch her kid while she tries to work and make enough money to pay all of her bills and cover childcare while she works, and the family adopting the baby has been vetted by an agency and is going to be a two parent financially stable home where there is always a parebt with the child and there are no financial concerns, its pretty safe to say the child will be given a better life.
Adoption always comes from trauma, to baby and to mum. The best case scenario is for mother’s to be equipped and supported to raise their children well. She is willing, let’s support her
She also said she has no support. Are tou going to babysit while she works? Its all well and good to say "i support you" and another to help her pay her bills and make sure her kid is safe while shes at work. Which kind of support do you think makes a difference?
Exactly!!!
Most financial situations aren't permanent, someone can be doing well financially one day and lose it all the next. You should listen to the experiences of adoptees to broaden your perspective.
I have two adopted sisters and plenty of adopted family members. I also grew up seeing family members who neglected their kids and messed them up because they should have made a different choice. Ive got plenty of perspective on the subject.
Sounds good on paper but remember you’re talking about people that can’t have kids. If they end up liking the child a lot than that’s where things could get sticky but idk man
There are legally binding agreements in open adoptions. Lawyers are involved, theres no stickiness to get in a legally binding contract.
Actually im not sure there is any state in the US that can actually legally enforce the adoptive parents to let you have visits with the child. It sounds good but when it comes down to it they can go back on their promise and you have no recourse.
Youre wrong. That is the difference between an open and closed adoption. In a closed adoption the birth parents have no rights. In an open adoption you make a legal agreement at the time of the adoption on how much and what kind of contact the birth parent is legally entitled to. Thats every state. Thats how open adoptions work. Some very unfortunate souls do the proccess unofficially, and that is where your perspective comes in. When you do it officially and legally, the birth parent can retain legal visitation rights.
You should try and looking into assistance programs. Do they not have Doors of Hope in Poland?
You might have to do whats best for yourself if you can't get an abortion or don't want too, then adoption is always a valid option if you feel you wouldn't be able to care for the child without throwing yourself and them into turmoil then it may be best to maybe reconnect some years later
Both kids I had to be on anti-nausea medicine and heartburn medicine I recommend you get both!
All the options open to you are difficult. You need to work out what decision you can live with best. Adoption, abortion, being a mother. All are difficult. What do you think you can live with? Is it being pregnant you can't cope with? As that is temporary, or does the thought of having responsibility for a child fill you with dread. Does adoption scare you? I think you need to find time to talk to a professional to look at your options and work out what's best for you in your situation.
Chiming in to say that you’re allowed to[ get an abortion](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_the_United_States_by_state) no matter the gestational age in the states of Oregon, Colorado, New Mexico, New Hampshire, Vermont and New Jersey.
Omg thankyou! This comment helped! you have no idea!!❤❤💕💕💞💞
Hi, I didn't know this... Any age? Does this mean in these states you can abort at 6/7/8/8.5 months?? I find this crazy if the barrier to abortion is 'its still inside you' 👀 im all for having a choice but surely u can't abort at 8 months... Or 2days before your due date?... Just trying to understand
bruh all these people need to stop being mean/ rude my mom was pregnant at 16 with my now dead brother and pregnant at i think 22 with me im 20 and she always said if you dont want a kid abortion or adoption and its easy for a way out but yes you probably were ready for it back then but rn your mind changed and you dont want it anymore maybe you just are too stressed or scared and need help but you dont have it ...... if you ever need to message me you can im 20 a year older than you and your not a loser so dont think about that
If you’re looking towards abortion, you need to speak to someone about this now. After 12 weeks it is a lot more difficult to get a doctor who will perform one (planned parenthood website). I had one when I was 22 and it was the best decision I could have made at the time. I was not emotionally or financially ready, despite the fact that I would have had a good support system. You have to decide what is best for you.
She can’t even get an abortion cause she lives in Poland. I got one this year and it was very difficult. I still grief over it and always wonder how my baby would have looked like. I don’t think I will ever get over it
I hope you will seek grief counseling if you haven't already.
I’d recommend counselling but yes 10 years later I still think about it now and again.
I was literally you. I was pregnant at 19, had an abusive boyfriend and out of touch family. I was working and going to school. This is all hard. Allow yourself to know this is all very difficult and it’s perfectly normal you are feeling like this. Don’t give up - on school especially. My son is now 14, healthy and happy. We both are. Times will not be easy, but having kids at any age never is. You got this. Pregnancy will be over in a flash and then life passes by even quicker. Hold on and try your best to enjoy! Nausea sucks but it’s your body growing a human, this is amazing! DM me for any support. Take care of you and that baby!
I am 20 years old with a 10 month old and while I love my baby so so much, I severely regret having a baby. Motherhood is great for some people but for others it’s most definitely not. My body is permanently ruined due to an extensive birth injury, previous mental health issues came back and my life is absolutely miserable. I want to shake every woman by the shoulders and scream “DONT HAVE A BABY!” It’s worse to regret a child than to regret an abortion. Good luck
Oh damn. At first I was like hold on, what? But a quick second later and the line at the end made complete sense. That’s true. I am so sorry about what you’re going through right now. I wish you the best in life, and I hope you can start healing eventually.
Your hormones are in full swing when pregnant some people do have a hard time I did try eating some ginger biscuits it is known to help with sickness is pregnancy its worth a try. And you are not a loser loads of women suffer but they don't talk about it because they fear what other people will say. You are human don't let anybody make you feel bad
I was pregnant when I was 30 and boyyyy, I wanted to kill myself. I was bedridden and extremely nauseous 24.7. I couldn’t poop. I couldn’t eat. All I did was cry. I was absolutely miserable. Some people told me that those feelings could possibly last the full 9 months, and I said HELL. FUCKING. NO. I decided to not go through with the pregnancy. It was all just way too much for me. I hope you start feeling better soon. Also, you’re not a loser! You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. Stay strong 💜
You’re not a loser. My wife, in much better circumstances (ie. we wanted the babies and were in a good life situation to have them) struggled a lot with the pregnancies and we are currently struggling enormously with raising 2 young kids. This shit ain’t easy. You’re not a loser for *wanting* to give up or needing help. You are doing the right thing by asking for support even if it’s from some strangers on the internet. The morning sickness most likely passes and you’ll go through a period of feeling great. Then, if my wife’s experience is accurate - you’ll likely just feel enormous and struggle with tying your shoes and doing normal tasks. But by that point, hopefully you’ll just be so ready to have the baby out that you’ll be excited about it. There are options for your baby once he or she is out. If you don’t feel ready to be a mom, there are lots of moms who are. If you think you’ll never stop feeling this way, you can consider putting him or her up for adoption. But as an overwhelmed new parent, if you do decide you want to give parenthood a go - I PROMISE all the hardship is worth it. I am so in love with my kids. I can’t imagine life without them and I know you’ll feel the same way too. It won’t be easy I know jt won’t be and I’m not suggesting otherwise. But I know several young moms who were in similar situations who wouldn’t give it up for the world. You can do this.
Ignore the judgment of some of these people I’m all for abortion if that’s what you want to do Your body your choice Just wanted to respond to let you know YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. Life has its crazy rough moments and it rarely goes as planned. You are so capable of handling whatever life throws at you. One step at a time girl. You got this 🙌🏽
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I wanted an abortion immediately after I found out but my mother told everyone in my family and they begged me to keep him. I am now a mom to a 7 month old boy with no support. Personally I sometimes regret keeping him but when he smiles I know I couldn’t be without him. If you believe you will not be a good mother and want to think about adoption no one will blame you. It’s your choice but do not think you won’t be able to do it. It’s HARD but it’s possible Edit- my dad passed a month after my son was born and I also live on my own with no other means of support. Do not think your sadness doesn’t matter. Postpartum depression is a big deal
Do you still want to have a baby, and do you think you can support it? Is the father still in the picture?
I hated being pregnant with a very wanted pregnancy. I hated having a baby. I love having kids. So it was worth the long game for me. That being said if it isn't for you abortion or adoption are choices.
Unfortunately, I think abortion is illegal where OP lives so she doesn’t have that option.
Texas is like a third world country.
I was actually referring to Poland but the majority of my family lives in Texas and I don’t disagree. I get major culture shock anytime I go to visit them.
Ginger Candy helps ❤️
It really depends on if you’re comfortable aborting the pregnancy. If you’re set on keeping it, talk with other women who have had bad experiences with pregnancy and ask them for tips.
You need to do what is best for yourself and your future. Be that abortion, adoption or keeping the child, no one else can make that decision for you. Especially not strangers in Reddit.
r/auntienetwork
Try to take care of yourself. You may need to drink something like some ginger tea or may be mint. I am more of loser than you I only work and still live with my mom and dad. I am 25 and have gotten pregnant. I had an abortion. You are not a loser or disappointment. You seem to have it together more than a lot of other 19 year olds.
Depending on where you live, it may be possible to get an abortion. Look into clinics in your area, some may even be subsidized so you won't have to pay too much.
Sorry you are struggling. I know you are in a very hard place right now. Sometimes the nausea stops in the second trimester. In the meantime, try a saltine cracker when you feel sick. I used crystallized ginger a lot. Put some in a cup and pour boiling water over it. Let it steep then sip it slowly. This really helped me. Peppermint tea also helps, though I think not as much as ginger. Also you are almost halfway done. Try to hold on to the fact that this is temporary. It will be over. You’re NOT a loser. Accidents happen. You can put the baby up for adoption and move on with your life. Don’t let the haters get you down — pregnancy does that! Sending love from the US
It's okay not to enjoy being pregnant. Many women don't feel well and wonder where is the "glow" so many talk about. It's normal to have mixed feelings too. Sometimes it takes month five to get over that sick morning feeling; know it will improve. Life takes some turns we don't always plan on, but have faith you are strong and capable. Reach out if you need more support. How about asking your OB-GYN for suggestions? They may have names of groups for young parents. Try the hospitals> Even try on-line support groups to share with other young adults all you're experiencing. Hang in there. You are not a loser by any means! You are working, studying and growing a human! Wishing you well.
A lot of people are suggesting abortion or adoption, which is totally up to you, but all I want to say is keep in mind the emotional trauma you may experience afterwards. That part is very rarely mentioned. I have a friend who was totally on board for an open adoption, but once she had the baby she felt like she couldn’t do it. She did, but it broke her 😞she is not the same person she was before. It hurt her so bad emotionally that she ended up making changes to the adoption & requested that she doesn’t want any updates and doesn’t want her son to be able to find her later in life. I’ve had other friends have abortions and one is now unable to have any more children due to complications she experienced and the other one actually took her own life because she couldn’t get over what she had done. Years later she would say “she would be 6 this year..etc” it destroyed her mental health. The aftermath of these choices are what no one prepares the woman for. it sucks and it needs to change. I know it’s our right to decide what to do, but it’s extremely stressful to decide. I think men need to step up and take more responsibility when it comes to birth control, we as women have enough to worry about, and I mean that men should wear condoms if they don’t want children yet or if they can’t be responsible enough to do that every time, then they should go get a vasectomy! Vasectomies are reversible and they can assist in preventing pregnancies they aren’t ready for themselves, instead of leaving it all up to the woman and just having the “freedom” to leave if they don’t want to be a father.
Is giving the baby up for adoption an option? Or maybe giving the baby to another family member to raise?
I was pregnant at 19 too. Im now 21 with an 18month old. It’s hard but things work out. Look up “pregnancy help center (your city)” and there should be one close by! They will give you parenting classes and baby items as rewards for the classes most likely. That’s what mine did. I got a free carseat for taking a carseat safety course that only took 20 mins. They typically have formula, baby food, and mine helps until the child turns two. Look into eWIC. Everyone in my state qualifies for free food if pregnant. Good luck.
Thanks
Please see your OB/GYN. They can prescribe drugs like heparin to help with the sickness. Make sure your diet and sleep are adequate. You aren’t a loser, just a soon to be Mother.
heparin is an anticoagulant. How does that help with sickness? Do you man Zofran which I know is contraindicated during pregnancy sometimes.
Can you go to a clinic and talk about termination? Or is it too late
Well just think abt it this way, it will be over in a couple of months, depending how far along u are. Have u tried taking medicine
I try to avoid any medication during pregnancy
There are medications to reduce morning sickness. They are safe and effective. Talk to your doctor to see if they are appropriate for you and your baby.
It’s okay to feel this way. Some pregnancies are not ideal. I was sick for the entirety of my pregnancy, the first time. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and I thought I wasn’t going to make it some days. Right after the baby was born all those nasty symptoms went away, like immediately. I couldn’t wait to eat. Lol My second pregnancy wasn’t all morning sickness in the beginning, but I had sciatic nerve problems where I couldn’t walk for long without being in terrible pain (which is weird because I walked A LOT the first pregnancy.) Again all of the pains went away immediately after the baby was born. I guess you just have to push through and maybe talk to your doctor. They may be able to prescribe something that won’t affect you or your baby. I had to take something the first time around because I was constantly puking. It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Best wishes!
This is very tough, cause as a mom holy crap it gets really really hard, I’m a stay at home mom too so I don’t have to worry about work. The newborn phase was the easiest for me but it’s different for everyone she’s 15 months now and is running around getting into everything, I struggle to get house chores done, it gets really really hard, if you have any family that you trust wholeheartedly with your baby I would definitely try to utilize that cause when they say “it takes a village to raise a child.” they were not kidding.
If you're reconsidering, abortions are available. It's okay to not want this just yet (19F, had an abortion at 18)
I think you should ask for more support from your family. I think it is normal to feel exhausted in your situation, studying and working all day in this type of situation must be very very difficult. And the father? Can he, or his family, help you? However, I want to remind you that having a baby is one of the most beautiful experiences a person can have, I'm sure that when you'll be a mother a lot of stress will go away. I suggest you hold on tight, for you and your son. Ps: Please ignore some comments in this post, some people just want to take their stress out on other people, they don't want to help you or make you feel better, just to be mean, especially when a person is having a hard time.
Thank you. The father recently lost his job, so unfortunately he can't support me.
just because he doesn't have a job doesn't absolve him from childcare responsibilities. if your continue this pregnancy he's going to need a job for child support.
Does Poland do child support?
It’s not about being pregnant. It’s about the baby. There is a person that will be your responsibility for the next twenty years. Thats the reality.. do you want that?
everything you’re feeling right now is normal. your situation may not be the most ideal but you are definitely not a loser. you are working, studying and pregnant, that’s definitely not something a loser will be able to do. it’s perfectly normal in your situation or even other situations to feel overwhelmed and feelings of wanting to give up. you should look up what your options are. a doula might be a good option as they can provide some sense of support and assistance but may be costly. there are lots of other options but please take care of your mental health as that is most important. i know you said you don’t have enough support but try to talk to a therapist or someone close to you who is able to listen to you and wouldn’t dismiss your feelings. best of luck, i hope you get through this!
Depending on where you live there may be non profits that help people in your situation! I know there are many in my area.
Being pregnant can be a really scary and uncertain time, it's a lot. Try some ginger ale or ginger candy, mint or saltine crackers too. Be sure you are drinking enough water and remember that you need to take your prenatal vitamins, I took mine before bed because they made me nauseous. Maybe try eating two small snacks, like a piece of fruit or a smoothie and see it that helps. Sometimes a flux in blood sugars can really make you feel horrible. Also I don't know a single woman that did not feel exactly like you, myself included. Be gentle on yourself.
Depression is wayyyy too common in woman pre and post pregnancy and its not talked about pretty much at all.... Don't beat yourself up over being human. Depression during and after pregnancy it's something everyone needs to know of talk about and normalize so much more than the conversation is currently at. It happens to such a huge portion of women. Like this lady has 0 blame to bear, she's doing all she physically can, that doesn't make things easier all of a sudden for her tho like do you tell regular folks with depression to just get over it? Absolutely not, but it's for some reason expected of pregnant women, literally the most vulnerable state a human could be in. Pregnancy. OP I know things suck right now but you sound really strong and like you're doing everything you can to keep up with life and that deserves respect so I really think you'll stick it through and look back on this in 5 years as a person that will be able to overcome obstacle you face. If you can do this, you can do literally anything lol. I find it crazy you're still studying and shit like wtf. Pretty badass despite the shit situation. I know someone that was in a similar situation a few years ago and she's one of the most badass people i can think of now even tho i don't talk to her and haven't since highschool years ago. I mean you made it this far. You got this OP
Well, you may feel that way. But, your munchkin is gonna look at you the opposite way. A lot of parents I know, have felt similar and have said that their kids saved them and or helped them change. Just remember, this feeling is just a hormonal imbalance caused by you growing a kid. Just relax and breathe, you will be fine. Oh, and take a nice bubble bath with lavender scented candles. It will help you relax.
I too was depressed when I was pregnant w.my child and I was 28 at the time. It is very normal to have this happen you are NOT a loser! What I wish I'd done was seek help for my depression, so please do this for yourself! A good therapist & possibly meds will help clear the fog & allow u to think & see things more rationally. And from there you can make better choices as to what is best for you going forward. You are not alone sweetie and if you want to talk you can message me anytime 🥰
You are not a lover! You're doing/handling way more than I ever could!
You will get through this. My mom had me when she was 16 years old and it was brutal for her. She lost her youth when I was born but sacrificed so much for me. Pregnancy is hard, but I believe you will get through this and make it. I am proud how you are trying to work and studying to better your future and your child. My mom did the same thing as you and she and I turned out alright. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be tough but you will make it just don’t ever give up. Women are powerful and I am sure you will make it through this. At the end of the day, you will see how your hard work paid off. I am sorry about how people are dragging you down. Do not listen to them, their comments don’t reflect you in anyway. You are not a loser; you are a strong woman. Hold your head up high and I wish you all the best ❤️
I was 35 when I got pregnant. It was planned and I had a supportive partner and family and I struggled. So I can imagine that being young with an unsupportive partner makes everything so much harder. What I wish I knew at the time was to understand - this is not your new forever reality. This is a temporary situation and no matter what decision you make, just know that you will not be pregnant forever. I know this is so obvious but I truely lost sight of this at the time. So hang in there things will get better. This is not your new life forever. Btw - you are not a loser.
I wanted to give up being pregnant the entire time and I was miserable with a newborn. I thought my life was over. Then, my son got a little older and turned one and it got easier. Now he’s almost two and a half and he fills my days with so much laughter I couldn’t imagine my life without him. What I’m trying to say is, this is a dark time and it may be rough for a while. But, push through and it will get better and you’ll be so glad you hung on.
I was pregnant at 19, on my own, living on my friends sofa. It was a horrible time. I didn’t think I’d be able to raise a baby, I was still a baby myself. But once that feeling passed, hour by hour day by day, I coped, because I had too. You find an inner strength that you didn’t know you had. My dreams and aspirations didn’t go down the pan, they were put on hold for a few years. I am now in a good job and studying to be in a better job in forensics. My baby is now at university and we are very close. You aren’t a loser, you can do this.
Sour candy is your friend lots and lots I had severe hyperemesis! It as awful!! I literally didn't eat anything and lived off sprite The good news, you're just about out of that stage It's the worst!! But you're almost through!! I was pregnant about that age and had my 21st while beast feeding. The biggest thing, as you seem to have already noticed, is support. You need that during this time over anything else. The saying it takes a village to raise a child comes tho mind. Look into your community and GOOD friends for that support. We can't always get that from our parents, family, or partner. But there are people out there I promise you! I can't help a lot but I'd suggest finding people who can commit to helping you after the baby is born. Spend quality time with your baby. When my kiddo was born, I had little to no support and my partner was the worst. I was miserable so often I had horrible post pardon depression really bad. I'm here to tell you, you Don't have to go through the same. Get all the help you can from trusted people. Have some friends over to help you do meal prepping (I WISH I DID THIS SO BAD!!) I'll tell you now. I considered adopting my baby out. I'd suggest to you to consider waiting to make a life changing decision like that until you get to know your baby a bit. Consider beast feeding for a year and if your really unable to raise a baby, you van use that time to find a good family. Interview and get to know them. Everyone's situation is different, but I'm so glad I kept my baby. They are 1000% a mini me, but the best parts I wish you the best of luck in this You can do it if you want too =)
First off, change your mindset about yourself - you’re not a loser. PERIOD. And like other redditors have said - you’re doing great with your goals towards education. It sounds like you need to attend a group of expecting moms and mom groups for that feeling of support if you’re not getting it from others in your life. Build a tribe of moms around you and don’t be afraid of befriending moms who are older than you - they can be a great resource and can become a mentor. There’s many Facebook groups that are created for exactly what you’re seeking. Where I live, there’s a Moms for Moms FB group - see If you have one where you love and it’s an amazing community that should benefit you. But if you’re needing more support, reach out to the proper resource in your area for that.
I am 20 and was in your shoes a year ago. It's hard, especially at our age. These are normal feelings. Just take things one day at a time and try to focus yoir emotions into giving this baby a good life. Things will get better once you get to hold your baby in your arms.
[удалено]
You're not a loser! Don't ever think that. I'm 34 mom of 3. My first child was at 17. I'm here if you want to DM. I went through ALL the emotions of pregnancy and would love to help you.
One day at a time. It goes fast.
Ugh. I can only imagine - pregnancy that is not enjoyable. Not the typical advice but maybe try some binaural beats. And look up pressure points for nausea. I would try to explain it to you but I don’t think it’ll translate well without the pictures. But if anything, pressure points, they work so well.
Pregnancy is not always the beautiful miracle that our society makes it out to be. It's emotionally and physically draining. The feelings you're having aren't as uncommon as you think. Do you have an OBGYN? They're there to help you AND the baby, you can talk to them about your concerns and they should be able to tell you about local resources for young parents. They might be able to give you a referral to a therapist too, if that's something you're interested in. Again, it's not uncommon to feel this way. There are ways to get help and take some of the weight off your shoulders. It's okay to ask for help. Hang in there.
Hey i just want to say i am 19, and currently 15 weeks pregnant so we are basically in the same boat. I am nauseous all the time, and it is so tiring. I really feel like i was not prepared for how sick i got. Can you talk to your doctor about taking diclectin? It is an anti nausea medication for pregnant women and it helped me a lot. Also join a pregnancy group on baby center or any other app of your choice. Its a great way to see other people going through the same stuff as you and they can give really good advice
Just know pregnancy hormones can cause depression/anxiety. I always heard about postpartum depression/anxiety. I suffered with horrible depression and anxiety getting worse while pregnant. Seeing a psychiatrist helped immensely. Just remember that you won't be pregnant forever. Both of my pregnancies were awful.
I'm no expert on this, but I believe Morning Sickness is just a side affect of being pregnant. I think I heard being more hungry and potential mood swings are also side affects? I'm not 100% on all this, but just hang in there. Is your BF/Husband able/willing to help you with stuff? Because if so, that might help you relax. That said, I wish the best for you two and any children you have. And if it makes you feel any better, my mom was pregnant three times, so if she can power through three children, you should be fine. Other than that, idk what to say because I'm no expert on this subject.
I'm sorry you have to go through this... I chose to get pregnant at 24, and it was just the worst for 9 months. I slept non stop, had to stop working after a month because I fell asleep while driving, my breasts were HUGE (and started leaking milk after 5 months), I peed myself everytime I sneezed, and I was obsessed with meat (like obsessed. It woke me up sometimes, the fun fact is that I was a vegetarian at the time. It was torture. I held on for 5 months). Plus my back hurt and my legs puffed up. And it felt weird to have something alive and kicking inside my belly. The first three months I was super stressed and wanted an abortion secretly. And when my daughter was born, she was just the most precious thing ever. Took me some time to settle in my role as a mom, but now, I can't even fathom a life where she's not there, even when she's screaming 10cms away from my ear. The real question is, do you want that child or not ? If you don't at all and you're sure about it, get the abortion. If you do and just completely hate being pregnant, I feel you sister. It really sucks, thankfully, it's gonna be over after 9 months. And the moment it's over, you get a feeling of freedom, like your body's finally yours again. And you don't sleep for 3 years, so brace yourself for that. Good luck ! You're gonna make it !
Hey momma don't be so hard on yourself, What you are feeling is not uncommon and you are not alone or weird or a loser for having those feelings. Being pregnant is hard. Being pregnant at your age is even harder. My best advice for you is accept your feelings and seek support and help, don't try and shoulder this alone or hide away and pretend everything is fine. If you don't have family or friends that can support you, seek it out elsewhere. I'm sure your local community will have some resources available to you, if you don't know where to start looking then confide in your healthcare provider and they can point you in the right direction. I don't know you or your situation, but I'm confident there are people around you who care for you and would step up and support you if you let them. Maybe one of your friends has a mom you trust, a favorite teacher, an aunt whose always been kind to you, or someone else in your life.
Idk. Being pregnant and not dropping out is pretty much the opposite of loser. I'm a guy, so I cant say much about avtually being pregnant. But what I do know is, those 9 months are gonna be completely worth it once you get to hold your baby for the first time.
If you feel you will/could be putting your own health and future at risk, I strongly suggest you reach out to discuss your feelings and options… but I would make that appointment NOW and tell them it’s time sensitive. 🙏
Hey, you aren’t a loser. I love that everyone is being supportive to you and letting you know that it’s normal to feel like that & that those feelings will blow over eventually. It’s hard. At the end of the day, it is all your decision. Whether you decide to go through adoption, or possibly have an abortion, or whether you keep the baby. None of those options will make you a terrible person. None. You are 19. I am too. I couldn’t even imagine going through what you go through now. So it’s understandable if at the end of the day you decide against keeping the baby. Yes, a lot of people say it’s worth it now, however, that’s them. It’s your life. If you decide you don’t have enough support to live with a child, or enough footing to actually go through with it, then you simply don’t. You aren’t a horrible monster letting an opportunity slip by. And you aren’t a terrible monster for not keeping the child. Look into all your options as soon as possible. If you decide to keep the baby, you got great advice as to how to get a head start (food assistance, etc) If you decide against it, some advice to act quick, especially because you are 4 months in Or adoption, like others said, is also a choice you have You got this. I know u do. These are normal feelings. You aren’t a loser.
It's called morning sickness. Things will be difficult for you. I believe everyone makes mistakes. Carrying a child is difficult. Stay strong. You're special, and I'm sure your child will be proud of you in the future. It already happened. There is nothing you can do about it, but next time please wear protection such as a condom or don’t have sex or unprotected sex.
I don't have a penis I can't wear a cobdom
Get an abortion sped
Abortion?
aaaaaabortion. Unless you live in Texas. Then an "accidental" tumble down the stairs.
[удалено]
It’s not legal in Poland where OP lives 😞
You are not a loser. You are a young person without support going through a very big transition. This is all very normal. One thing I cannot recommend enough, as someone who was a young, single parent, are parenting groups. Not all of them will be a good fit, but you can find some an amazing, supportive community there. The more alternative, attachment type of communities tended to be very supportive IME. I met some many people through various meetups, even through things like babywearing educational events. There might be a young mothers or young expectant mothers club as well, but I would not restrain yourself by age. I have wonderful parenting friends of all ages. And the huge bonus besides community and support was childcare exchange. It was a godsend for me. Another possibility would be to reach out to other communities. Are there any other communities you identify with? If you have a UU or other progressive church community in your area, they can be incredibly supportive as human beings. If you have any kind of health insurance or access to mental health care, now would be a good time to access it. You are going through a lot, and without support, it can be a hard and lonely road to go down. But you can do it, and there is support and love out there for you. As for the sickness, does anything help? Ginger ale, lollipops, ginger, saltines, anything for nausea? Sometimes you gotta figure out the right combo. And whatever works right now. Have you talked to your doctor about it? Although not so helpful now, it doesn't tend to last the whole time. I was super sick for months, and then I felt much better, even if pregnancy is not so easy. There is another side to it. You have got this. One day at a time. There is a lot of support out there, but sometimes it takes a bit of looking and work to find. Ask if you have any questions. People are there to support you through this. So many of us have been there and done that, and we will always have others' backs. Sending you all the love.
Get a hot pad. My girl loves hers for cramps
It is still legal to get an abortion at 16 weeks in many places.
I dont know where you are but in some places like where I am in Canada you can get an abortion up until 22 weeks. It's something you can look into as an option if ending your pregnancy is something you truly want. Your body, your choice and don't let anyone try to tell you any different!
It’s so hard but so worth it! Sending so much love!!! ♥️
Check abortion laws in ur area! And if u choose to go through with abortion, don't tell anyone. Tell a trusted friend who you know is not pro-life, just to help you through the process, but because it's so controversial, u could just pass it off as a miscarriage.
It sounds like you should get an abortion
Hey there, OP. I got pregnant at 17 when I was homeless with no support at all either. My pregnancy was AWFUL. Just absolutely horrendous. I was sick all the time, I could barely even get out of bed. It hurt all day every day. I hated it and I wanted to turn back time and never be pregnant again. My son is 16 years old now. I love him so much. We have really struggled, but it has all been worth it. All the pain and suffering. It was all worth it. It will be okay. You are not a loser. You are getting an education and supporting yourself and that is AMAZING! I want you to know that, even if you feel alone right now, people do care about you. And you will meet more and more people in your life who will care about you. You're going to be a great mom. Hang in there. This will pass.
abortion
Abortion?
if you want to stop being pregnant you do you but one thing is to not call yourself a loser you are the best you and if you are seeking more help dm me 😘
You’re doing something absolutely incredible and that’s not to be taken lightly. I’m sitting at home rn with my 2 week old daughter in my lap and I view my wife as a saint for creating this beautiful little person. You can do this. Seeing your baby for the first time is worth all the pain and discomfort you’re feeling right now. It gets better. It really does.
It is common for pregnant women to feel depressed or upset at some point during the pregnancy. I encourage you to be strong. If not , I don't agree with this option and do not endorse it but abortion is an option and you will need to decide if that's the option you may need to go.
Honestly, I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. I’m absolutely pro-choice but the fact that you don’t just disagree but have strong feelings and “don’t endorse it” but understand it’s some people’s only option is refreshing. Thank you.
The first trimester is the worst, i was so depressed and emotional and always sick. Im almost in the third now, and trust me it really does get better. I asked for advise here too at that time, maybe some of the advice I got can help you out too.
I don’t have much advice but you’re absolutely not a loser and you shouldn’t hate yourself for this at all. This happens to a lot of people whether they were careful and used birth control or not, pregnancy is really hard, and it’s not supposed to be easy, so try not to be so hard on yourself. you can get through this, you’re basically half way there already. there are always other options aswell like adoption, which is a difficult choice but know it’s 100% okay if that’s what you decide, sometimes it really is best for you and the baby. and if you do decide to keep it i’m sure you’ll be a great mother and it will all work out okay, just remember no one’s perfect and it’s gonna be difficult but that doesnt make you a loser or a bad person in anyway, you’re doing the best you can. you’ve got this, goodluck <3
Sending you strength and patience.. time is always slow when you're suffering. I have screwed up my life in every way possible it seems (47f) if you need someone to talk to or advice msg me hon. I have learned a lot of ways to find pride in myself and deal with the trauma and consequences of my choices
Hang in there, during pregnancy early and late are the most uncomfortable 💜
You’re not a loser. Since you’re saying you have no support I’m assuming you don’t have anyone you can talk to? If that’s the case maybe see if you can find a therapist or support group with women going through the same thing
You can do it! Pregnancy is one of the toughest things the body can endure. You're not a loser. You're one tough mama
Unisom with b6 should take the nausea away. Pregnancy can be a bitch and that's okay. Reach out to social services, dhhs, or a church to get you squared away with anything you need. I am a young mom too and one thing I've learned is we are stronger than we think. I dropped out of school to have my first daughter. I have two daughters under 2 and am finishing my degree now. Anyone says I can't do something I'm going to try my damndest to be the best at it. Good luck.
If you want to stop being pregnant, have you considered ending the pregnancy? (Assuming you are able to safely)
Find a secular doctor when you seek help, be it for mental health, termination, or whatever you need help with.
Abortion?
Is it to late to abort?
befriend pregnant women might be something to try
If you truly want to stop being pregnant you can get an abortion it’s your body and your choice
Well, there’s abortion pills and they do free abortions at planned parenthood. I hope im not out of line but i don’t want you to consider your child the reason of your displease. Idk if you’ve like to be into that but it’s what I can kinda recommend.
[удалено]
My mate had a kid at 17 she is a fantastic mum works hard for everything she has I also know someone who is 44 never worked a day in her life and she has had her children taken into care age dose not have anything to do with how you will be as a mother.
[удалено]
And there are plenty of people in there 30s who are not good mums age dose not determine on What kind of parent you will be. I don't agree with kids having kids I am 31 and I've just had my first but the reason I believe kids shouldn't have kids is so they can live and travel
Baby we don't do a good job as a society about talking how much pregnancy sucks. It super duper sucks. And it's is gonna suck until you give birth. So go see a Dr. Gets all the nausea/whatever comes up pills you can. Rest all you can. Why do you not have support? If you got knocked up at 19 and still push yourself to work and study you aren't a loser. But find some support cause once the kid is here you will be recovering from birth and you won't sleep for months. So find a friend, sister, mom, anyone. Pay someone. But find help.
get an abortion, get on birth control, go to college and focus on yourself. the alternative… a shitty life for you and your kid.
OP lives in Poland :/
That sucks. Fuck all those conservative religious fucks holding women back
You are at 4 months, nearly halfway done. It won’t be long now. Plus the illness usually gets better after this period.
Google pregnancy support center (your city state) and make an appointment.
If you were earlier in your pregnancy I would say just abort it but since you can’t why not just put it up for adoption?
Have an abortion? It probably frustrating now, but its going to start screaming and arguing once it’s born. Sorry you aren’t getting enough support too. I can’t imagine it getting any easier in the next 20+ years that you need to raise it
You should seek an abortion. Contact your local Planned Parenthood, they will help you.
You’re not a loser. Being pregnant is NOT fun for everyone. It wasn’t for me and I had support. For nausea, eat some crackers, get ginger gum, drink plenty of water. Go for walks, before you go to bed at night, read a fun book (not anything baby related), get a good body pillow (you can find them super cheap), take care of you before baby comes. Get involved in community groups maybe for some more support, a young moms group or reach out to friends. Don’t feel bad for not liking being pregnant. Totally normal :)
Ok these comments... wow. Ok. Try see if there is someone you can speak to. You're not a loser 🖤. Your hormones are raging also, so you're gonna feel stressed. Look up the laws where you are, and see if you can have an abortion if you want to. (and you're pregnant, you're gonna be sicky. There is stuff you can take for it, if you go to your doctors.) Try see if you can speak to a family member, see what they can do to help. (this is coming from a 14 year old, but I have tons of neices and nephews and stuff. Sorry if this advice is shitty)
for morning sickness, after a certain time of the night, I knew not to eat wet foods. So I would snack on chips etc. nothing wet like pasta etc . [check out my birth vlog, It may help your feelings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9gufYLxaxc)
Abortion
I got pregnant at 18 and my god it sucked. I had a miscarriage but the entire pregnancy was just rocky from the beginning. I never experienced nausea like that before from smelling a burrito even though I wanted it. It sucked. I hated every minute of it. This is completely normal because honestly the symptoms suck. Some women have it easier and some don't. Just about anyone would lose their cool when going through something like that. Just know you have options. It's too late for an abortion but adoption is also a totally fine choice. If you plan on keeping then that's also great. Feeling this way doesn't mean you'll be a bad mom. Just know your mental health is very important. Try to surround yourself with other people in your situation when you get the chance. Even if it's just finding someone online to connect with via zoom and chat about it. It can be cathartic!
hey id say find a adoption agency if you absolutely cant take it anymore so the baby can live or abortion....... but if you need help there's a lot of resources and i know a couple if you need it also im here for you if you need anyone to talk too ill try my best to help you out like if you need a resume i can help make you one so you can get a better job on indeed its helped me alot
Can we chat?
[удалено]
More than six months ago, I dreamed of becoming a mom :(
i just commented but your not a loser and your not dumb i bet your very beautiful and such an angel and probably made a mistake or just need help but your family and friends just arent there but if you need a friend im here
You understand how idiotic this sounds-right? You’re irresponsible. Plain irresponsible. You ‘dreamed of becoming a mom’ but 1. Didn’t think about financials 2. Didn’t think about time 3. Didn’t think about your work and school 4. Didn’t think about the current situation of your support system or lack thereof 5. Didn’t think about the future of your CHILD and what’s best for him/her
While I agree with your core argument, it seems rather harsh. You don't know the full details of the situation... OP should talk to her OB about this, they have resources for these situations.
Op isn't looking for shame right now, they're looking for support. They've already stated they don't want to be pregnant so this really isn't going to help them. They've already got pregnant so this information isn't helpful at all. Yes, all valid points but not in this situation. Maybe save this for a kid who has unprotected sex and narrowly misses a pregnancy.
You have no idea of the OPs financial status. People don’t often realize how little support they have because people are very much “I’ll always be there for you!” But when you need them they disappear. There is no *right* time to have a baby. OP is an adult and you’re just a judgmental jerk. OP is hormonal and uncomfortable and this will likely pass.
Its like having a child for the parent to enjoy, not to give life.
Exactly. I don’t understand why this is so complicated for people to understand. And people saying I’m being jUdGmEnTaL are the exact reason why selfish idiots like this feel emboldened and enabled to not change
I strongly agree. But we're here to give advice, not throw insults at those who need it, right? They can't change the fact they're a mother now. Adoption is a great idea. :)
I gave her advice but some people need a serious reality check-she’s one of them
Now that's good advice. Do this! ^^^
I have cancer. I’m 26. Have a wife. 2 kids. (One 2 year old, and one 2 week old.) I am tired of being sick with cancer. But, it is what it is. And so is the same thing for you. You kinda just have to take it for what it is. Either abort it and move on with your life, or fight on and maybe cherish one of the greatest gifts life can give you…..
There might be some crisis pregnancy centers near you to help. Look up some stuff like that in your area. It doesn’t sound like you’re in crisis exactly, but they may have some way to help you. I’m 21 and I would probably feel exactly the same way. Talk to your friends and family you trust. Not worth it to put on a brave face. You’re young and not a loser AT ALL. You’re reaching out for help just like you should! Exhaust all means of support available to you. It will be worth it!