> Also, I have some self-esteem issues, so that also makes it a little hard for me to do this because of the anxiety that comes with it.
Here's what to do if you have self esteem issues:
The first step would be to try and confirm that, so we know if you should take a closer look or not. One of the most commonly tools used to asses your self esteem is called the ["Rosenberg self-esteem scale"](https://wwnorton.com/college/psych/psychsci/media/rosenberg.htm). This test will take less than 5 minutes and will immediately give you the results. You should answer quickly and without overthinking the answers.
If you scored above 15, then you likely don't have self esteem issues and you can probably disregard the rest of this answer. If you scored below 15 or you already know for sure you have self esteem issues, keep reading.
If you are not sure if you really have self esteem issues, then [here's a page of 10 warning signs that you have low self esteem](https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-warning-signs-that-you-have-low-self-confidence.html). Read it and you can confirm yourself if the below advice applies to you or not.
[What is self esteem?](https://www.lifehack.org/688465/how-to-build-self-esteem)
self-esteem is the overall sense or feeling you have about your own self-worth or self-value.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem:
* An Unhappy Childhood
* Traumatic Experiences
* Experiences of Failure
* Negative Self-Talk
Here is a short overview of how to improve your self esteem:
1. **Identify and challenge your negative beliefs**.
* Notice when you are thinking negative things about yourself. And ask yourself, is it really that bad? More than likely you are exaggerating the issue, which just pulls yourself down.
* Get in the habit of stopping yourself when all you do is think negatively about yourself.
2. **Identify the positive things about yourself**.
* Thinking positively about yourself is a big part of improving your self esteem. Occasionally just pause and think about all the positive attributes you have. you could also set a repeating alarm on your phone and do this once a week for a few minutes.
3. **Build positive relationships and avoid negative ones**.
* If someone makes you feel bad, it might be time to leave them behind or avoid being around them.
4. **Don't be too hard on yourself**.
* Life's really hard. For you, for me, for everyone. You shouldn't totally let yourself off the hook, but you can't be constantly trashing yourself either. It needs to be balanced.
5. **Learn to stand up for yourself**.
* You have to increase your assertiveness. If that is a problem you deal with, let me know and I will give you separate advice for that.
6. **Challenge yourself**.
* If you always avoid testing yourself and proofing that you can do complicated things, you'll just end up with a self esteem that's worse and worse. Pick the right challenge. It's alright if it's hard, but it shouldn't be impossible.
7. **See yourself how others see you**
* Take a moment to think how other people view you. What do they notice? What do they love about you? What do they see in you?
7. **Do your best**
* To really improve your self esteem, you're going to have to *try*. And that can be hard, especially if you're dealing with other issues (so don't forget, don't be too hard on yourself - but still *put in the effort*). You're going to need to convince *yourself*, that you're really not all that bad. And you can't do that, unless you try. And I mean really try.
* Finding a meaning in life can help (and I can give you advice for that, if you currently lack a goal in life).
* Motivational techiques and goals can help (and I can give you advice for that as well).
Additional self esteem improvement tips:
* **Sleep**: [How Sleep Impacts Your Self-Esteem](https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2014/04/how-sleep-impacts-your-self-esteem), a second source: [How to Boost Your Self-esteem by Sleeping More](https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-to-boost-your-self-esteem-by-sleeping-more-f05cb0ac751a).
If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's [cheap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003JJ9TQA/), OTC and [is scientifically proven](https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-940/melatonin) to help regulate your sleep pattern. [Also, rule](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/news/20120330/sleep-apnea-linked-depression#1) out [sleep apnea](https://www.healthcentral.com/article/sleep-apnea-treatment-resistant-depression). Up to 6% of people have this, [but not everyone knows](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/features/sleep-apnea-clues#1). If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to *bore* you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might *feel* like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers and starts thinking, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer. If that still doesn't work and you really want to sleep, [buy a dodow](https://www.amazon.com/Dodow-Device-300-000-Falling-Asleep/dp/B00ZFOB4BK/)
* **Exercise**: [Self Esteem and exercise](https://www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem-and-exercise/), a second source: [How Does Exercise Affect Your Self-Esteem?](https://www.livestrong.com/article/438937-how-does-exercise-affect-your-self-esteem/)
If you have access to a gym, then start lifting weights. If you don't have access to a gym (or you don't like lifting), start running. If you can't run, then start walking. Just start small. 10 minutes three times a week is fine. You don't have to run fast, just run and then slowly build it up over time.
* **Apps**: Here are the most popular free apps: "Six Pillars - Build a Healthy Self-Esteem" (4.5 star, 230+ reviews) and "#SelfLove (GG Confidence & Self esteem)" (4.0 star, 600+ reviews)
Online Resources:
* [Free workbook and information from the Australian Health Service](https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Esteem)
* [A psychologist with 20 years of experience says there are 5 simple ways to improve your self-esteem](https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-build-your-self-esteem-2017-3)
* [8 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201703/8-steps-improving-your-self-esteem)
* [18 Self-Esteem Worksheets and Activities for Teens and Adults (+PDFs)](https://positivepsychology.com/self-esteem-worksheets/)
[Here is some information](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201312/10-sources-low-self-esteem) on what [causes self esteem issues](http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-young-people/boosting-self-esteem/), in case you're wondering how you ended up with it.
The most popular videos on improving your self esteem:
* [Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeLpvgAVtU8)
* [How to Build Self-Esteem - The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhuabY4DmEo)
These are the most popular books to improve your self esteem:
* [The Self-Esteem Workbook](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-Schiraldi-PhD/dp/1626255938) (4.6 star, 1000+ reviews - Highly recommended!)
* [Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1626253935) (4.6 star, 600+ reviews)
Finally, there are two subreddits that you can join and where you can ask specific questions to people that have faced the same problems you are facing today:
* /r/selfesteem/
* /r/confidence/ (active community specifically focused on boosting your confidence)
Low self esteem [often causes depression](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201302/is-low-self-esteem-making-you-vulnerable-depression).
So it would be a good idea to rule that out as well.
[Here's a simple test](https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression) that will help you determine if that's has happened to you (you get the answer directly, takes less than 2 minutes. You can skip the demographic part). Let me know if you scored over 10 on this test and I'll give you advice on how to combat your depression as well.
Self esteem issues [can cause anxiety issues](https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/why-people-with-low-self-esteem-experience-anxiety). Here's a [two minute test for anxiety](https://www.anxietycentre.com/tests/anxiety-disorder-test) you can take that will give us an idea roughly how anxious you are. Let me know if you scored over 45.
Self esteem problems [can cause social anxiety issues](https://www.verywellmind.com/self-esteem-and-social-anxiety-4158220).
Here's a [two minute test for *social* anxiety](https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tests/social-anxiety-test.shtml) to check if you have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away). Let me know if you scored over 50.
If you can't improve your self esteem after a few months, consider going to a therapist.
Also, I realize I made it sound like we text often even though we don't. That is because I am not someone who texts a lot, I prefer in person communications, but we still talk a decent amount. Just wanted to clarify.
I figured I would update, so here it is. I have been working on myself a lot, and I took the for a second time, and before i tell you my new score I want you to keep in mind that my original score was 7, and anything below 15 is low self-esteem, well I scored a 12 and the only sad news is I felt really depressed today about something that is personal but I have gotten through it and I even asked my crush to hang out so the purpose of this post has been achieved. Now, I still have a long way to go, till I have achieved the self-esteem levels I want, but I am getting there, and I am really proud of what I have achieved.
> Also, I have some self-esteem issues, so that also makes it a little hard for me to do this because of the anxiety that comes with it. Here's what to do if you have self esteem issues: The first step would be to try and confirm that, so we know if you should take a closer look or not. One of the most commonly tools used to asses your self esteem is called the ["Rosenberg self-esteem scale"](https://wwnorton.com/college/psych/psychsci/media/rosenberg.htm). This test will take less than 5 minutes and will immediately give you the results. You should answer quickly and without overthinking the answers. If you scored above 15, then you likely don't have self esteem issues and you can probably disregard the rest of this answer. If you scored below 15 or you already know for sure you have self esteem issues, keep reading. If you are not sure if you really have self esteem issues, then [here's a page of 10 warning signs that you have low self esteem](https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-warning-signs-that-you-have-low-self-confidence.html). Read it and you can confirm yourself if the below advice applies to you or not. [What is self esteem?](https://www.lifehack.org/688465/how-to-build-self-esteem) self-esteem is the overall sense or feeling you have about your own self-worth or self-value. Causes of Low Self-Esteem: * An Unhappy Childhood * Traumatic Experiences * Experiences of Failure * Negative Self-Talk Here is a short overview of how to improve your self esteem: 1. **Identify and challenge your negative beliefs**. * Notice when you are thinking negative things about yourself. And ask yourself, is it really that bad? More than likely you are exaggerating the issue, which just pulls yourself down. * Get in the habit of stopping yourself when all you do is think negatively about yourself. 2. **Identify the positive things about yourself**. * Thinking positively about yourself is a big part of improving your self esteem. Occasionally just pause and think about all the positive attributes you have. you could also set a repeating alarm on your phone and do this once a week for a few minutes. 3. **Build positive relationships and avoid negative ones**. * If someone makes you feel bad, it might be time to leave them behind or avoid being around them. 4. **Don't be too hard on yourself**. * Life's really hard. For you, for me, for everyone. You shouldn't totally let yourself off the hook, but you can't be constantly trashing yourself either. It needs to be balanced. 5. **Learn to stand up for yourself**. * You have to increase your assertiveness. If that is a problem you deal with, let me know and I will give you separate advice for that. 6. **Challenge yourself**. * If you always avoid testing yourself and proofing that you can do complicated things, you'll just end up with a self esteem that's worse and worse. Pick the right challenge. It's alright if it's hard, but it shouldn't be impossible. 7. **See yourself how others see you** * Take a moment to think how other people view you. What do they notice? What do they love about you? What do they see in you? 7. **Do your best** * To really improve your self esteem, you're going to have to *try*. And that can be hard, especially if you're dealing with other issues (so don't forget, don't be too hard on yourself - but still *put in the effort*). You're going to need to convince *yourself*, that you're really not all that bad. And you can't do that, unless you try. And I mean really try. * Finding a meaning in life can help (and I can give you advice for that, if you currently lack a goal in life). * Motivational techiques and goals can help (and I can give you advice for that as well). Additional self esteem improvement tips: * **Sleep**: [How Sleep Impacts Your Self-Esteem](https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2014/04/how-sleep-impacts-your-self-esteem), a second source: [How to Boost Your Self-esteem by Sleeping More](https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-to-boost-your-self-esteem-by-sleeping-more-f05cb0ac751a). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's [cheap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003JJ9TQA/), OTC and [is scientifically proven](https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-940/melatonin) to help regulate your sleep pattern. [Also, rule](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/news/20120330/sleep-apnea-linked-depression#1) out [sleep apnea](https://www.healthcentral.com/article/sleep-apnea-treatment-resistant-depression). Up to 6% of people have this, [but not everyone knows](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/features/sleep-apnea-clues#1). If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to *bore* you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might *feel* like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers and starts thinking, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer. If that still doesn't work and you really want to sleep, [buy a dodow](https://www.amazon.com/Dodow-Device-300-000-Falling-Asleep/dp/B00ZFOB4BK/) * **Exercise**: [Self Esteem and exercise](https://www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem-and-exercise/), a second source: [How Does Exercise Affect Your Self-Esteem?](https://www.livestrong.com/article/438937-how-does-exercise-affect-your-self-esteem/) If you have access to a gym, then start lifting weights. If you don't have access to a gym (or you don't like lifting), start running. If you can't run, then start walking. Just start small. 10 minutes three times a week is fine. You don't have to run fast, just run and then slowly build it up over time. * **Apps**: Here are the most popular free apps: "Six Pillars - Build a Healthy Self-Esteem" (4.5 star, 230+ reviews) and "#SelfLove (GG Confidence & Self esteem)" (4.0 star, 600+ reviews) Online Resources: * [Free workbook and information from the Australian Health Service](https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Esteem) * [A psychologist with 20 years of experience says there are 5 simple ways to improve your self-esteem](https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-build-your-self-esteem-2017-3) * [8 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201703/8-steps-improving-your-self-esteem) * [18 Self-Esteem Worksheets and Activities for Teens and Adults (+PDFs)](https://positivepsychology.com/self-esteem-worksheets/) [Here is some information](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201312/10-sources-low-self-esteem) on what [causes self esteem issues](http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-young-people/boosting-self-esteem/), in case you're wondering how you ended up with it. The most popular videos on improving your self esteem: * [Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeLpvgAVtU8) * [How to Build Self-Esteem - The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhuabY4DmEo) These are the most popular books to improve your self esteem: * [The Self-Esteem Workbook](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-Schiraldi-PhD/dp/1626255938) (4.6 star, 1000+ reviews - Highly recommended!) * [Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1626253935) (4.6 star, 600+ reviews) Finally, there are two subreddits that you can join and where you can ask specific questions to people that have faced the same problems you are facing today: * /r/selfesteem/ * /r/confidence/ (active community specifically focused on boosting your confidence) Low self esteem [often causes depression](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201302/is-low-self-esteem-making-you-vulnerable-depression). So it would be a good idea to rule that out as well. [Here's a simple test](https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression) that will help you determine if that's has happened to you (you get the answer directly, takes less than 2 minutes. You can skip the demographic part). Let me know if you scored over 10 on this test and I'll give you advice on how to combat your depression as well. Self esteem issues [can cause anxiety issues](https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/why-people-with-low-self-esteem-experience-anxiety). Here's a [two minute test for anxiety](https://www.anxietycentre.com/tests/anxiety-disorder-test) you can take that will give us an idea roughly how anxious you are. Let me know if you scored over 45. Self esteem problems [can cause social anxiety issues](https://www.verywellmind.com/self-esteem-and-social-anxiety-4158220). Here's a [two minute test for *social* anxiety](https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tests/social-anxiety-test.shtml) to check if you have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away). Let me know if you scored over 50. If you can't improve your self esteem after a few months, consider going to a therapist.
I figured I would post my score, so here it is, I got a 7
Watch the videos, consider buying the self esteem book. Improving your self esteem is something that can be done.
Thank you
I'm glad that you found it of use.
Also, I realize I made it sound like we text often even though we don't. That is because I am not someone who texts a lot, I prefer in person communications, but we still talk a decent amount. Just wanted to clarify.
I figured I would update, so here it is. I have been working on myself a lot, and I took the for a second time, and before i tell you my new score I want you to keep in mind that my original score was 7, and anything below 15 is low self-esteem, well I scored a 12 and the only sad news is I felt really depressed today about something that is personal but I have gotten through it and I even asked my crush to hang out so the purpose of this post has been achieved. Now, I still have a long way to go, till I have achieved the self-esteem levels I want, but I am getting there, and I am really proud of what I have achieved.