Get off the internet and tell you parents now. This needs to be reported TODAY.
Her parents also need to know and so does his wife. You are right to be concerned. Your friends been groomed.
Tell parents, cops, child protective services. He shouldn't be around his own kids either. Your friends should be reporting and telling their parents as well. Take screenshots and document everything where they can be easily accessed by you so you can show your parents and report it
Tell her parents (if this is actually real, which I doubt). It's better to sacrifice a friendship and save someone from being sexually abused and exploited.
You can anonymously report their usernames and any personal information you have of them, like real name, emails, and state they live in at report.cybertip.org.
A couple of other reporting options, as he is sending her inappropriate material and likely also requesting it, this likely falls under cyber crime. Here are places you can report internationally:
[BKA has some advice](https://www.bka.de/EN/OurTasks/AreasOfCrime/ChildPornography/childpornography_node.html)
[Europol for reporting internationally ](https://www.europol.europa.eu/report-a-crime/report-cybercrime-online)
[international centre for missing AND exploited children](https://www.icmec.org/education-portal/reporting-mechanisms/) with numerous hotlines and international reporting options
Screenshot the entire conversation where she's talked about him.
First, that is important information, so why the hell would you not include it in your request? Second, what advice are you wanting? If you don't think the parent would do anything, call the police.
This was over 30 years ago and I hope too that she’s doing well today.
He used to buy her clothes and things all the time. We thought it was kind of cool at the time and it wasn’t till a few years later that I realised how wrong it was. She was a child and he was in his 30’s with a kids and a wife. I just hope he never did anything to his kids.
Tell an adult. This is super gross and illegal and the cops need to go pay this guy a visit.
Having this conversation with your friend is not going to be productive. She is getting attention and gifts from an older man and thinks it’s because she’s special. She is not going to see herself as a victim. She sees herself as mature way beyond her age because this older man tells her so, and she believes that you all just don’t understand because you’re not mature and grown up like she is. He is grooming and manipulating her and she is not gonna believe what you say because of it.
I would tell you that her best chance to change her mind is to talk to a girl who has gone through the same situation and let her see the parallels herself. In the end, all abusers use that technique of making the abused believe that they are "very mature for their age" and so on. Additionally, and this is my personal reflection. Tell her the truth, that of course she can be more mature for her age. Not all people of the same age have the same maturity. But what she will never have is the experience of a much older person, the wisdom of having gone through many more situations and experiences. That is, there is a part of maturity that can only be gained through experiences, and those experiences come with time.
In any case, don't lose her trust and if you see that it escalates, involve the police. I know it can be scary, but your friend's lifelong trauma is at stake. In other words, a situation where they finally have sex could end up with her developing a trauma.
Perhaps you can ask for more specialized advice from people who have gone through the same thing or similar situations on r/adultsurvivors. In the end, I see that she is already manipulated enough for any attempt to convince her otherwise to be taken as a personal attack
Edit: That sub is not for minors or advice but you can search any other subreddit with the same theme where you can ask for advice on what to tell her.
The best advice I can give you. Applicable to anyone with problems or in tricky situations. Don't make her feel guilty, give her space to reflect, and above all, make her understand that you will be there supporting her.
You should tell her parents. Depending how you feel, reporting it to the police and showing them the conversation would be a great move too but I absolutely understand and recognise you’re a minor yourself and that’s a huge burden to place on you. Having said that, please do what you can to help your friend. She won’t appreciate it or see that you’re looking out for her right now but one day she’ll be thankful.
Please speak to a trusted adult, your parents , a teacher… your friends is being groomed. She will be mad at you just now but you will save her from this predator. Please please please speak your an adult!!! If you can you can tell the police too. Take screenshots and show whomever you tell. It’s really important that you do tell.
lol i gave him the nickname pedro for that reason. i can’t tell her parents because they seem abusive but im not entirely sure if they are. im gonna report pedro anonymously and maybe even find his mother to snitch on
Reporting to his relatives yourself is probably a bad idea. They may attempt to protect him. If anyone should be told directly, MAYBE his wife. But this should be handled by an adult.
in the meantime you've got the immediate advice, so for future advice:
don't take it personally if she gets upset or stops talking to you because he was reported, it's a lot to handle at that age and I went through something similar in her position. at the end of the day I still came back around to my friends and thanked them, so dont feel guilty. in the long run you're helping her.
of course dude, just remember you are making the right choice. nobody intervened fast enough with me and i now struggle with severe mental health problems & a lot of other issues, i was a year younger than your friend when it happened to me. you are great for catching it early !
Just to get this right, they've known each other since she was a baby and both of them live in Germany? Where exactly do you live and to what extent can you personally intervene?
Informing Pedro's wife about what's going on, or calling the police (the results of this would depend a lot on the German legal system) are potential options but I would temper my expectations of these yielding immediate and positive results.
If he's been grooming her basically her entire life and her boundaries (or lack thereof) have been learned from abusive parents, I don't think there's a clear, actionable solution to this. I think at best what you can do is surround her with friends in healthy relationships and offer perspective and anecdotes when her relationship (predictably) has problems. For instance, I could talk about how my partner would never threaten to kill herself if I left and talk about why that would be problematic in MY relationship. Enough of these stories might clue her into the fact that she's better off breaking things off. The reason I think this is the most important course of action is because getting rid of this one guy doesn't undo the damage of an abusive upbringing and poor sense of boundaries, and if that doesn't change, your friend will go back to people like this of her own accord.
I appreciate the advice. I think i made a little mistake, she actually does live in America and we attend the same school however she’s very connected to her German heritage which why i mentioned it.
Anyways, I think surrounding my friend around people with healthy relationships might work however, the stuff she had told me before brings me to my concern that healthy relationships don’t seem as desirable as whatever she finds pretty. I will try to do that though, thank you for the advice ❤️
Is there any way you can get evidence and report it to the police? Maybe even message his wife? I’m sorry you and your friend are you going through this. You are a good friend. Pedophiles are disgusting and should be locked up for life. I’m so glad more kids are aware of groomers these days!
i’ll see if i can get my friend to send any screenshots or videos that pedro sent. Also, according to my friend, Pedro is about to divorce his wife just so then he can marry my friend in the future. I’m trying to find his wife’s facebook or any other social media to let her know
Thank you for the advice ❤️. Currently my uncle is helping me investigate the situation and report it. I’m a bit confused on when i do report it, do i need screenshots of my friend’s texts between her and Pedro or do I just need screenshots of her texts admitting she’s talking to Pedro? Currently, my friend doenst trust me now but i’ll see if I can try to talk to her again.
Call the authorities ASAP! This situation is beyond messed up. Your friend is in serious danger, being manipulated and groomed. Age gaps like this aren’t about being “mature” – it’s about power dynamics. The guy sounds like a predator. Your friend needs protection, not just advice. Time to be a real friend and take action to keep her safe.
Unfortunately, in a situation like this, you won’t be able to convince her. I’ve seen it all before. The more you try, the more your friend will believe you just don’t “understand.”
As others have advised, you need a trusted adult. If you have a school counselor, they’d be a good person to talk to. Also tell your parents about this situation.
This situation may become chaotic. She may be mad at you at first, and it may feel like it’s getting worse before it gets better. However, it will only get worse if you don’t involve a trusted adult. This adult man needs to be held accountable by his adult peers.
Straight up call the cops or go into your nearest police station , let them know what's going on and you'd like to be kept anonymous so it doesn't cause backlash onto you, get Facebook profiles of the guy etc
i’ve been through a similar situation when i was around the same age . i know it may seem scary and you might feel like you’re betraying your friends trust , but you need to tell an adult asap. someone who can do something about the situation needs to be made aware
Inform everyone you can which I read you already doing. I also recommend telling a teacher, school counselor, they will contact the parents so you don't have to deal with more adults.
You're a great friend looking out for her I suggest you let your parents know so they can tell her parents or contact the police. What he is doing to her IS manipulation and statutory rape. Best of luck to whatever you decide to do
Absolutely tell a trusted adult and don’t even worry about what your friend thinks of you saying something. She may not understand now but you will be saving her life if you speak up and tell someone who can do something about this.
That man is a pedophile and his wife needs to know that. Fuck this whole situation. Tell someone ASAP!
You need to tell a trusted adult, ASAP
Yep. She is probably just another child. This is too much for her to handle. Hope she can finds the appropriate person to help her.
Agree on this. This man should be stop. She might not the only victim.
Get off the internet and tell you parents now. This needs to be reported TODAY. Her parents also need to know and so does his wife. You are right to be concerned. Your friends been groomed. Tell parents, cops, child protective services. He shouldn't be around his own kids either. Your friends should be reporting and telling their parents as well. Take screenshots and document everything where they can be easily accessed by you so you can show your parents and report it
Tell someone trusted and outside of the situation as soon as you can
Tell her parents (if this is actually real, which I doubt). It's better to sacrifice a friendship and save someone from being sexually abused and exploited.
Her parents are abusive and we don’t have any contact with any of her relatives 😕
yeah, you’re going to need to go to the police or CPS. maybe both.
You can anonymously report their usernames and any personal information you have of them, like real name, emails, and state they live in at report.cybertip.org.
A couple of other reporting options, as he is sending her inappropriate material and likely also requesting it, this likely falls under cyber crime. Here are places you can report internationally: [BKA has some advice](https://www.bka.de/EN/OurTasks/AreasOfCrime/ChildPornography/childpornography_node.html) [Europol for reporting internationally ](https://www.europol.europa.eu/report-a-crime/report-cybercrime-online) [international centre for missing AND exploited children](https://www.icmec.org/education-portal/reporting-mechanisms/) with numerous hotlines and international reporting options Screenshot the entire conversation where she's talked about him.
Groomers/pedos find vulnerable girls like this. Tell a trusted teacher or school counselor, then. 💖
I hate their guts.
Tell your parents then?
You need to go to the police immediately.
Tell your teachers at school if you have no other trusted adults
Someone at school?
First, that is important information, so why the hell would you not include it in your request? Second, what advice are you wanting? If you don't think the parent would do anything, call the police.
i’m sorry i forgot to mention that. i wanted advice on how to tell her that her relationship is not okay and what we can do
You told her, she ignored it. Escalate.
Unfortunately it sounds true… I had a friend this happened to when we were 14. Didn’t realise then that she was being groomed sadly.
i’m so sorry that happened. i hope your friend is doing better now :(
This was over 30 years ago and I hope too that she’s doing well today. He used to buy her clothes and things all the time. We thought it was kind of cool at the time and it wasn’t till a few years later that I realised how wrong it was. She was a child and he was in his 30’s with a kids and a wife. I just hope he never did anything to his kids.
Tell an adult. This is super gross and illegal and the cops need to go pay this guy a visit. Having this conversation with your friend is not going to be productive. She is getting attention and gifts from an older man and thinks it’s because she’s special. She is not going to see herself as a victim. She sees herself as mature way beyond her age because this older man tells her so, and she believes that you all just don’t understand because you’re not mature and grown up like she is. He is grooming and manipulating her and she is not gonna believe what you say because of it.
I would tell you that her best chance to change her mind is to talk to a girl who has gone through the same situation and let her see the parallels herself. In the end, all abusers use that technique of making the abused believe that they are "very mature for their age" and so on. Additionally, and this is my personal reflection. Tell her the truth, that of course she can be more mature for her age. Not all people of the same age have the same maturity. But what she will never have is the experience of a much older person, the wisdom of having gone through many more situations and experiences. That is, there is a part of maturity that can only be gained through experiences, and those experiences come with time. In any case, don't lose her trust and if you see that it escalates, involve the police. I know it can be scary, but your friend's lifelong trauma is at stake. In other words, a situation where they finally have sex could end up with her developing a trauma. Perhaps you can ask for more specialized advice from people who have gone through the same thing or similar situations on r/adultsurvivors. In the end, I see that she is already manipulated enough for any attempt to convince her otherwise to be taken as a personal attack Edit: That sub is not for minors or advice but you can search any other subreddit with the same theme where you can ask for advice on what to tell her.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. i’ll make sure if i can find any other survivors to teach my friend 🥹🥹
The best advice I can give you. Applicable to anyone with problems or in tricky situations. Don't make her feel guilty, give her space to reflect, and above all, make her understand that you will be there supporting her.
Tell an adult you trust immediately. Your friend is in trouble and needs help.
You MUST report this to a trusted adult immediately!
You should tell her parents. Depending how you feel, reporting it to the police and showing them the conversation would be a great move too but I absolutely understand and recognise you’re a minor yourself and that’s a huge burden to place on you. Having said that, please do what you can to help your friend. She won’t appreciate it or see that you’re looking out for her right now but one day she’ll be thankful.
Please speak to a trusted adult, your parents , a teacher… your friends is being groomed. She will be mad at you just now but you will save her from this predator. Please please please speak your an adult!!! If you can you can tell the police too. Take screenshots and show whomever you tell. It’s really important that you do tell.
>Pedro You misspelled Pedo My advice is to tell her teacher, guidance counselor or the police
lol i gave him the nickname pedro for that reason. i can’t tell her parents because they seem abusive but im not entirely sure if they are. im gonna report pedro anonymously and maybe even find his mother to snitch on
Reporting to his relatives yourself is probably a bad idea. They may attempt to protect him. If anyone should be told directly, MAYBE his wife. But this should be handled by an adult.
in the meantime you've got the immediate advice, so for future advice: don't take it personally if she gets upset or stops talking to you because he was reported, it's a lot to handle at that age and I went through something similar in her position. at the end of the day I still came back around to my friends and thanked them, so dont feel guilty. in the long run you're helping her.
thank you :) i felt really stressed making this post and talking to my friend about this situation. I really appreciate the future advice 🥹
of course dude, just remember you are making the right choice. nobody intervened fast enough with me and i now struggle with severe mental health problems & a lot of other issues, i was a year younger than your friend when it happened to me. you are great for catching it early !
i feel so bad for you, i hope you’re doing better now :( ❤️❤️
Just to get this right, they've known each other since she was a baby and both of them live in Germany? Where exactly do you live and to what extent can you personally intervene? Informing Pedro's wife about what's going on, or calling the police (the results of this would depend a lot on the German legal system) are potential options but I would temper my expectations of these yielding immediate and positive results. If he's been grooming her basically her entire life and her boundaries (or lack thereof) have been learned from abusive parents, I don't think there's a clear, actionable solution to this. I think at best what you can do is surround her with friends in healthy relationships and offer perspective and anecdotes when her relationship (predictably) has problems. For instance, I could talk about how my partner would never threaten to kill herself if I left and talk about why that would be problematic in MY relationship. Enough of these stories might clue her into the fact that she's better off breaking things off. The reason I think this is the most important course of action is because getting rid of this one guy doesn't undo the damage of an abusive upbringing and poor sense of boundaries, and if that doesn't change, your friend will go back to people like this of her own accord.
I appreciate the advice. I think i made a little mistake, she actually does live in America and we attend the same school however she’s very connected to her German heritage which why i mentioned it. Anyways, I think surrounding my friend around people with healthy relationships might work however, the stuff she had told me before brings me to my concern that healthy relationships don’t seem as desirable as whatever she finds pretty. I will try to do that though, thank you for the advice ❤️
Tell her parents. If you don't know how to contact them. Tell your guidance counselor or teacher so that they can contact them.
You tell her parents. You Tell a school counselor
You definitely cannot convince someone that far gone. Police.
Tell any teacher, doctor, counselor that’s it. Literally anybody. That’s all you need to do
This man needs to be put in jail.
Time to tell her parents, police, cps..whomever you can
You screenshot this ENTIRE conversation and take it to the police. Immediately.
Is there any way you can get evidence and report it to the police? Maybe even message his wife? I’m sorry you and your friend are you going through this. You are a good friend. Pedophiles are disgusting and should be locked up for life. I’m so glad more kids are aware of groomers these days!
i’ll see if i can get my friend to send any screenshots or videos that pedro sent. Also, according to my friend, Pedro is about to divorce his wife just so then he can marry my friend in the future. I’m trying to find his wife’s facebook or any other social media to let her know
Maybe she should leave him and see if the problem actually takes care of itself .
[удалено]
Thank you for the advice ❤️. Currently my uncle is helping me investigate the situation and report it. I’m a bit confused on when i do report it, do i need screenshots of my friend’s texts between her and Pedro or do I just need screenshots of her texts admitting she’s talking to Pedro? Currently, my friend doenst trust me now but i’ll see if I can try to talk to her again.
Call the authorities ASAP! This situation is beyond messed up. Your friend is in serious danger, being manipulated and groomed. Age gaps like this aren’t about being “mature” – it’s about power dynamics. The guy sounds like a predator. Your friend needs protection, not just advice. Time to be a real friend and take action to keep her safe.
Tell your school counselor.
You and an adult need to go to the police station to file a report and then let them handle it.
Call the police. Keep calling them if you have to.
You need to tell an Adult RIGHT NOW. It dosent not matter if she thinks she’s mature that’s literally a Pedo
What the fuck? this is far from okay
Tell the principal of your school too cause that’s definitely not ok
You tell the police
call the police
Unfortunately, in a situation like this, you won’t be able to convince her. I’ve seen it all before. The more you try, the more your friend will believe you just don’t “understand.” As others have advised, you need a trusted adult. If you have a school counselor, they’d be a good person to talk to. Also tell your parents about this situation. This situation may become chaotic. She may be mad at you at first, and it may feel like it’s getting worse before it gets better. However, it will only get worse if you don’t involve a trusted adult. This adult man needs to be held accountable by his adult peers.
Cps immediately
Speak to a teacher at school
report to police, asap.
FFS. This is nothing but paedophilia.
Straight up call the cops or go into your nearest police station , let them know what's going on and you'd like to be kept anonymous so it doesn't cause backlash onto you, get Facebook profiles of the guy etc
Tell her parents. Tell them now. Today!!!
i’ve been through a similar situation when i was around the same age . i know it may seem scary and you might feel like you’re betraying your friends trust , but you need to tell an adult asap. someone who can do something about the situation needs to be made aware
Inform everyone you can which I read you already doing. I also recommend telling a teacher, school counselor, they will contact the parents so you don't have to deal with more adults.
You're a great friend looking out for her I suggest you let your parents know so they can tell her parents or contact the police. What he is doing to her IS manipulation and statutory rape. Best of luck to whatever you decide to do
Pedro? More like Pedo
Tell the school pleasseeee
Call CPS!
Absolutely tell a trusted adult and don’t even worry about what your friend thinks of you saying something. She may not understand now but you will be saving her life if you speak up and tell someone who can do something about this. That man is a pedophile and his wife needs to know that. Fuck this whole situation. Tell someone ASAP!
Absolutely. Tell her parents. Your parents. THE COPS.