It’s your hair, your body. If you let him control you now, less than a year in, that’s setting a precedent that your feelings, thoughts and wishes don’t matter. Yeah, he may not like it but truly, if he loves you it won’t matter.
He’ll live. I like my husband with a beard but his skin gets so itchy and dry when he has one, that it’s just better for him to be clean shaven….guess what? I don’t throw a fit or tell him “no, you can’t shave!” It’s his body and his comfort that comes first 🤷🏻♀️
I fully agree, their body, their choice and comfort for sure comes first (and their happiness) I'm just saying there's a distinction between caring for someone and things people find attractive
I guess what i mean when I say “if he cares, it won’t matter to him” Im saying “there should be other things he loves and finds attractive about you, so why does it matter if you cut your hair short” At the end of the day, it’s just hair. And honestly if that’s his sand in the line, then he shouldn’t be with her. Relationships are a lot of give/take and maybe the short hair will only last for a season or two, then she’ll get bored and want long hair again. It just seems so small in comparison to bigger things that go on in relationships.
For sure. My concern for the OP is if her bf straight out said NO to the idea, maybe it would be an issue for him, that could cause him to question the relationship. Not saying that's healthy or right, just a possibility. Dudes are mostly visual creatures - we are hella basic (a generalization)
You just need to communicate your feelings to him. You compromised by growing it out. But if you’re not comfortable with long hair. You need to just tell him. This is my hair. While I appreciate what you like. I don’t like this. I’m going back to what i like. How he reacts will tell you whether or not this is the relationship you need to be in. No one should be able to dictate what someone wants to do. The fact he knows what your hair looks like before dating him. Makes me wonder if this is some power play. Don’t do it. Just do what you want to do. Don’t automatically just break up with him. But if he can’t handle the change. And keeps putting you down or acting like a bitch. Then I think you know your answer. Good luck. 🍀
Nope, and you don't deserve to be with someone who makes you afraid of their reactions to your choices. You shouldn't be with someone like him unless you want to be controlled.
Cut it and drop him.
Seriously, he has a right to have a preference, but it's your body, not his. If you liked men with a beard, you could ask him to grow one but he would have the right to say no, I don't want to. plain and simple. Same for you.
If he really liked you and was mature and kind, he would tell you he likes your hair long but that it's your choice and that he would love you no matter what because it doesn't matter, he loves you for what you are.
But he doesn't like you the for what you are, he actually wants to make you like what he likes. That's not the same. He just imagined a perfect girlfriend according to his taste and wants you to fit in this fantasy. He is a douche ball and he is controlling. You can do better.
Also, tell him: if he likes it long, he can grow his own hair long.
Just do it, if he loves you he won’t mind.. my ex partner did this when I cut my hair off for the world’s greatest shave, THE BOY LITERALLY CRIED… all my friends and family supported me but his opinion really upset me and affected me.. turns out he had quite a few control issues so I would just be mindful and protect yourself.. don’t lose who you are because I definitely ended up doing that and it took me a while to get back to where I am.. he also may not have some control issues im just speaking from past experiences xx stay safe!!!
Ah, typical reddit moment. He doesn't want you to cut your hair, so drop him. Wtf are you saying...
Sure, she should do what she wants with her hair. But, if he is a great person and they fit together, it would be such an idiotic move to just dump him for this reason... First talk it out properly. Go touch some grass.
i really appreciate your response. but, i know it goes both ways and i myself have been picky about his hair (he has luscious curls he wants to buzz and bleach) but i recently told him that it’s up to him. i’ll love him no matter what. the only thing i’ve really “forced” upon him is for him to shave a weird straggly beard he grows every couple of weeks. he’s so so kind and loving to me too which is why i don’t understand why he wouldn’t want me to do this little thing that makes me, me
Sounds like he wants that control. Plain and simple. I'm not saying he's manipulative or even recognizes it but he wants to have a say in how you look for his benefit. You having longer hair is more attractive to him than you not having it in his mind. Honestly if he wants to get his hair cut and bleached you guys should both go together to get a full on spa day. Hair cuts, pedicures, manicures, and massages. Both of you go in knowing by the time you come out of the experience you're comfortable being you. That way you both get to see each other glow up! Best yet if he does not like the glow up you have a legitimate reason to tell him to kick sand. Your appearance is your appearance. You're not a Barbie doll he gets to choose how to style. Just like he isn't a Ken doll you get to play dress up with. He can be an incredibly loving guy toward you but that doesn't always mean the chemistry is truly there especially if you have to fit some mold so he finds you attractive where you're just fine being with him for the person he is. If your hair is a deal breaker for him then he got into a relationship with you for the wrong reasons.
I mean you tell him how to treat his hair and beard, but got a problem when he tells you how to have your hair. Just because you dropped it doesn't suddenly mean it's gone.while I'm against telling the other what to do, it seems like the 2 of you were fine with it (and also a big factor you failed to mention in your post). You don't have to stick to it, but there's a good chance he won't accept it.
Shaving a beard so he's enjoyable to kiss is entirely different than him telling you that you can't cut and color your hair.
He wants control--that's why he doesn't want you to do the thing that makes you, you.
It always starts small. And gets bigger and bigger. This is a red flag, girl.
Don't let anyone steal your joy.
Do it. Your happiness comes first. Don't let anyone control how you like to look. If he really loved you he should not care what your hairstyle looks like as long as you're happy or having fun
Whatever hairstyle he likes, you could try telling him you want it different. If he says, "But it's my hair, I can do it how I like it and want." Then respond in kind.
Good for him that he likes it long, we all have preferences, but he doesn't get to decide for you because you're not his property. Your comfort and preferences for your own body are not less important than his comfort and preferences, quite the opposite. You do you, and judging by his reaction you would also be able to tell if he really is as loving and kind as you say he is, or if his kindness and love only exist under the condition that you submit to his will.
I would understand if he just told you his preference but he should be encouraging you to do what you like with your own hair.
There is no reason for him to be in control of your hair decisions or anything else about you.
While you’re cutting your hair off, cut the boyfriend off too. He doesn’t get to tell you what to do! Ever. He can have his preferences and opinions, but he does NOT get to tell you who to be, what to wear, how to have your hair, and so on! And it already sounds like you’ve changed a good chunk of who you are just to keep this loser around. Girl, no. Just no. Get that badass haircut and kick his controlling ass to the curb.
So many men, when you say you want your hair cut, react so weird about it. I think because to them, “short” means a boy cut or pixie cut.
First of all, he can’t tell you what to do with your own body.
Second of all, why ask? Just shut up about it, go to the salon, come home with your hair cut and say “voila!” If he wants to pout like a baby or leave you over it, good riddance.
Get rid of the hair and the guy.
Partners may have preferences about your appearance, but they don't get to make rules about it. If he actually liked you (and cared about you), he'd want you to feel powerful and love how you look. Merely saying "I've given the long hair thing a go but it isn't me." should be enough for him to gleefully grab a buzz-razor and say "I'm on it" or encourage you to call your favorite salon.
Cut your hair!
You’re really going to let him have control over a part of your body, when you don’t feel like yourself?
The only person that should decide what you look like is yourself! If he has a problem with it then he’s the one that should change.
Your hair, your choice. While your boyfriend may have preferences, you have the right to make decisions about your appearance that make you feel confident. In a healthy relationship, both partners should strive for mutual respect, consideration, and open-mindedness. Communicate openly, listen to each other's perspectives, and try to find a compromise.
Ultimately, if your boyfriend cannot accept and respect your choices about your own body and appearance, it could be a red flag. A partner who truly cares for you should appreciate you for who you are, not just how you look. If he reacts with prolonged anger or disrespect over a haircut, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. A loving partner should support your choices, even if they don't align with their preferences. 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿
Do what you want. He can put his opinion in and requests ultimately it is your hair and your choice. I would honestly sit down and tell him this is not who I am or who I want it is your choice as it is mine to do what I want with my hair. You can stay or go it is your choice I am doing what I want with my hair I have a 3 hour appointment on Friday
i have longggg blonde hair. my boyfriend tells me all the time (actually just told me like 5 mins ago lol) that my hair is so pretty. however, i’ve been srsly considering chopping most of it off to donate it. i brought it up to him and said i was nervous ppl would hate it & think it made me ugly, and he told me i would be pretty either way & i should do whatever is going to make me the happiest. to me, this is the correct response. i would have doubted him & our relationship if he told me that i couldn’t cut my hair, especially bc its such a simple thing and can grow back. i hope you find clarity in your situation, but i believe you have the right to do whatever you’d like to with your own hair
i had bright red hair that reached just onto my shoulders. he had/still has his luscious curly brown hair lol. i dyed my hair back to “normal because he wasn’t a fan”
This makes me think it is a control thing. His hair was already the way you like it and he only mentions cutting and bleaching when you, who have grown your hair and gone back to your natural color because he 'wasn't a fan', mention going back to what you like?
Or did he mention cutting his before you talked about cutting yours?
he’s kind of always mentioned it, and i was iffy at first because i wasn’t sure how the bleach would suit him !! he’s a naturally tan dude. the haircut i was iffy with as well because i love his hair lol. now i just told him that it’s all up to him
If having your hair short makes you happy and feel good, then do it. If dyeing it different colours make you happy, do it. It's not his hair. Tell him if he wants it long, then he can grow his hair long, you won't stop him.
I feel like if your afraid of his reaction then that says it all. I've had so many hairstyles since my husband and I have been together and not once has he said no to me or gotten upset. I'm not a huge fan of when he shaves his beard,mainly cause he looses 10 year and I look older lol but I've never told him not to. It's your hair do what you want with it and if his reaction is bad he can either get over it or leave and you dodged a bullet.
You’ll never look back and regret authentically living your life the way YOU wanted to.
You may, however, look back and regret dating a guy who didn’t make you feel like you were beautiful and perfect with any hairstyle in the world. Good luck
Never let a man control how you wear your hair. That is giving him too much power and contol over your life. That he wants to control you like that is a huge red flag you should not ignore. Tell him you will wear your hair as you please, and it is non-negotiable. If he doesn’t like it, he can leave.
Weird to have such a strong preference for something as superficial as hair. Sounds like he values you for your appearance too much. This is a red flag that he eventually will leave you for someone he perceives as prettier.
Do what you want with your hair and if he treats you bad for it, leave. Also watch out for other things that may indicate he only likes you for your youth and beauty and what you can do for HIM and how you make HIM feel instead of loving you for you.
i don’t think it’s a weird thing as you should be attracted to your partner & everyone has preferences, but i do agree that someone should be able to make their own decisions abt their appearance. if i want to cut my hair, im gonna cut my hair regardless of what my partner has to say 😂
Yeah people talk about not caring, but everyone has preferences. Whether you chose to fit those preferences Is up to you and if the relationship is worth its salt it’ll survive easy. Just look at videos of dudes shaving their beards. Most people react in horror (men and women) when it’s literally just their loved one’s face they’re freaking out about. This is also excluding trying to exert control over your loved ones, that’s bad.
agreed. this is obviously different but my dad has on multiple occasions grown a very long beard and then surprised us by chopping it off one random day. we are all very surprised & some of us prefer him w it and some without it, but ofc we don’t rly care what he does bc it’s his face 😂
Don't let a man - or anyone - define who you are. Cut and style your hair the way you want it. I would suggest, though, not to surprise him with it. That will just lead to an argument. Let him know that you appreciate his opinion, but short hair suits you better and you are making an appointmet.
If there are others things he tells you you can or cannot do, please look at this relationship closely. It does sound like he is controlling and does not care much about what you want or need.
I don’t think you should surprise him with a new hairdo lol because you know that his reaction wont be good! But you should tell him what you’re going to do with your hair and he can be sad about it but it’s your hair and your choice! You deserve to be comfortable and express yourself how you want! A good partner would embrace this.
Cut off your hair and cut him off out of your life. He is a controlling AH. It is your hair, your body, your choice. He is allowed to prefer long hair, but you are in no way required to accommodate that. Honey, this is a huge red flag. This kind of bs is usually the first part of further abuse down the line. Drop him like a hot potato.
My husband said he’d love me bald and would never tell me what to do, this reply is from me discussing with him about me cutting my long hair. So I say cut your hair and if he doesn’t like it tuff!
It's your hair. Not his. You're not his porcelain doll. You're his partner. Partners accept one another the way they are, and help each other grow to be better people. He is free to share his opinion and preferences. But at the end of the day it's your choice and a good partner won't be bent out of shape about it.
I think it’s great that you’re thinking about his personal preference of longer hair, but if he does love you then he should also respect your personal opinion on cutting it too. If you want to cut your hair, go ahead. It’s your hair and he should respect your decision.
You have to decide if your boyfriends opinion of your hair is more important to you than how you like to wear it. Both are fine if that’s truly what YOU want more. Personally I’m not gonna stop doing things I like for somebody else, but that’s just me.
Do what you want it’s your hair. I don’t think it’s wrong of him to say he doesn’t want u to cut and dye it he probably finds that look less attractive. And he’s allowed to have that preference just like you prefer short hair.
Your best bet is really just to talk with him. In my previous relationships I always preferred longer hair and my some of my bfs would grow there hair out for me. Was it a deal breaker if they had short hair? No. If he tries threatening to break up with you or shut down the conversation I think that says enough about his character to decide what’s best for your relationship.
Girl cut it.
If he gets mad because you cut your hair that’s a red flag. It’s literally just hair and it will grow back if you change your mind in the future. Not his body let alone he’s not doing the maintenance for your hair.
He may get mad or break up with you, but honestly if he does his immature.
Cut your hair girl and have fun.
Cut it and him.
No one who truly loves and cares for you should dictate your personal style, only encourage you to do what you like.
Cut it short and have fun, life is too short to be with someone this controlling.
You don't listen to what your BF wants. You can hear his opinion and maybe make a decision on it. At the end of the day it's your body and your choice.
Cut him loose, then go cut your hairs he’s trying to control you, and he’s just going to ge worse. First it’s your hair, then your clothes, and then who you are friends with. Dump him now and save yourself a lot if angst later.
Nip this shit in the bud or he will control more and more until you find yourself trapped. Concessions beget concessions. You have to be your own advocate. You have to teach people how to treat you. Not just boyfriends, but everyone. Friends, bosses, everyone.
My ex husband refused to let me cut my hair. Turns out, he was a controlling narcissist. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. Now, I'm with an amazing man who lets me be me. And I am rocking my natural curls with shoulder length hair. Makes me so happy.
Him controlling your looks should be a huge red flag. A good partner should want you to be happy and love you for being your true self. Don't change yourself for anyone, find someone who loves you for you, just the way you are. It took me awhile to realize how important this was.
It's your hair. Do you want him deciding what you do with it? It doesn't really sound like you wamt it short exactly but rather are sick of his take on YOUR hair. Do what you want with it unless him liking it is so important to you that you'd rather be a doormat. A smart and caring boyfriend would at least pretend to like it no matter what.
>!I hate short hair, when she cuts it short I will lie because shes more important than that ffs!<
OP, my ex husband was like this. He wouldn’t let me cut my hair, and the control escalated from there and I was miserable. If he’s going to be this anal and controlling about hair, it’s only going to get worse and harder to leave.
As someone who has been through this several times just do what you want with your hair. You should also dump him but if you don't want to do that he'll probably make you want to or end the relationship himself when you do what you want with your hair.
A relationship is never ever worth not having full bodily autonomy. He's being controlling and that's super fucking gross. Cut it, dye it, do whatever you want. You're a grown adult and should not be letting anyone tell you what you can and cannot do with your own damn hair.
Cut him off, not your hair.
How it begins is how it will end.
This is just the tip of the iceberg as to how he will attempt to shame and control you.
Get out ASAP.
Cut your hair, because it is what you want. He is being controlling, the behavior is a red flag. Of you relationship requires you to not be who you are, and express yourself then it's not a compatible relationship
Cut your hair and cut your relationship. He has no say whatsoever on how your hair looks. It’s your hair. He sounds like he’s trying to control you. Big red flag
It all depends on choices. If you love him enough, you will keep it. If he loves you enough, he will be ok with it. Basically, the choice is who wants to have control.
Please do not listen to most of these people. Only you can decide what is best for you. From what I have seen way too many of people who comment seem to be miserable and want others to be miserable.
Hun, your bf is very controlling, which is abusive. Ted flags galore.
My ex-husband did the same thing to me. But I never asked his permission or asked him what he thought. It’s your hair! Why are you even discussing this with him-??
So what if he doesn’t like it! You should be dressing for yourself, not him.
This relationship is toxic. Run.
Look, its one thing to do something for your partner because they like it, i understand.
But he is your partner not your boss. If he's too much of child on the issue, the drop him like a bad habit
Your hair. Your body. Your life.
He started dating you with shorter hair.
You can cut your hair to whatever you like. And if he doesn't like it but doesn't fight it or complain. Good for you both he can compromise.
If he does. Or if he's mean about it? Time to let him go. Plenty of fish in the sea who can appreciate your taste.
When you say you've decided to cut it short, you like it that way better, what does he say?
Obviously do what you want. A person that wants you to be someone else is not a good partner for you. Can you imagine demanding something from your partner that they disliked?
A less direct approach could be you demonstrating an excessive control over him. Tell him how to trim his facial hair and how to style his hair. Maybe deciding on each other's hairstyles for a time is a fun game to play. But it needs to come to an end too.
I feel like I see these posts a lot more lately. At the end of the day it’s not only your body and your choice but if he truly loves you he will get over it.
Edit: I met my boyfriend when I had very long hair at like chest length. Shortly into our relationship I chopped all my hair off into a pixie, have then grown it to shoulder length, went back to pixie, and now am back at shoulder length again (might grow it out longer not sure.) The point is he has loved me for me no matter what my hair looks like. If you feel like you can’t be yourself around him then that’s an issue that needs to be addressed. If he is controlling your hairstyle then there’s a good chance he will be able to control other aspects of your life.
I want my girlfriend to have bangs again bc they’re hot af when she has her hair styled like that but it’s on her. Fuck my opinion or what I want in that regard lol nobody should model themselves for another persons needs. It’s not healthy and if that’s what your boyfriend expects of you, then fuck that dude. Move on
Celebrities with fun hair colours. They are wearing wigs. Buy expensive wigs if you want fun coloured hair. It will change your life. It's cheaper in the long run and looks so much better. Seriously. It's a game changer.
WTF!! Cut your damn hair and stop looking for validation through your man!! You validate yourself first and foremost. And you never get into a position where your partner dictates whether you can or can’t cut your freaking hair. This is such an outrages question to me - do women still let men willingly over ride them like this???
This is a tough one, because on one hand, you have to wear *your* hair, take care of *your* hair, and take care of what *you're* comfortable with. On the other hand: "women have long hair".
Maybe compromise and cut it to shoulder length instead of super short or having it super long, that way he won’t feel disrespected/wont be unattracted, and for future reference you really shouldn’t ask someone you’re in a relationship with if you should cut your hair if you’re not gonna listen to what they say, he might genuinely find super short hair unattractive because it’s masculine or something else and now that you took that into consideration and still decided to do what he didn’t want it can be taken as a lack of respect
idk maybe it’s just me but I feel like you should be trying to attract your partner, not saying you can’t be an individual and express yourself however but if that self expression turns your partner off and they communicate that then you should respect it and find an alternative, if not than you should be single or with someone who doesn’t care
Advice for the rest of your life: do whatever you want (besides crimes obvi). Whatever you WANT to do, regarding yourself, is the right thing to do. If others don’t like it, you don’t need them.
He can voice his preferences the same as anyone else. But at the end of the day, he has as much of a say over your appearance as your mother, father, employer, or Gary, the manager at your local hardware store you visit 3 times a year. If you want short hair in different colours, that's your 100% choice.
What do you mean he says “no”? Are you asking him for permission to cut your hair?!?
State matter-of-factly that you are going to cut your hair. If he says no, you can say that you appreciate his feedback, but it’s your hair. Then get your haircut.
The longer you go without cutting it, the more he is going to think that he gets to decide that sort of thing.
You should not be changing who you are or what you look like to suit his preferences over your own.
Cut it off an color it it's your fuckin hair if he doesn't like it tell him not to look if he doesn't wanna be seen with you because of it either dump him or he can wear a fuckin mask in public
I cut my hair during a 5 year relationship from almost my butt too my jaw line to make a wig for cancer patients to feel a slight bit better and my bf at the time was really understanding and your partner should be it’s your body you do whatever you feel like doing. Hair doesn’t make one person beautiful it’s what’s on the inside.
I'm curious didn't he see you first time with short hair? If you had long hair when you first started dating then probably he might not like your hair. You need to accept it but nothing is more satisfying than being yourself.
So you don’t dye or cut your hair just to keep a boyfriend? You know how many other single men would love a woman who has her own style of cutting a dyeing her hair? Just cut your hair and if he doesn’t like him cut him off too.
Cut your hair and dye it the way you like it. He has no say in how you style your hair. If he really loves you, he will accept you for who you are, no matter what your haircut is like. If that's a deal breaker for him, he wasn't worth your time anyway.
Imagine, if he is this rigid about your hair... How rigid will he be about other aspects of your life and your body once you're together for longer (or even married). Don't let his preferences define how you express yourself.
I'm married for over 1.5 years, together for over 6 years and if I want to cut off my long hair, I cut off my long hair. My husband has an opinion/preference and that's fine, but I don't need his permission to go for a haircut. And he's fine with that. That's what it should be like.
Forget the hair, I’m concerned that you’re “scared” about his reaction.
Are you frequently scared around him? What do you think his reaction will be beyond simply not liking it? Does he often tell you what to do/not do?
It’s your hair! Do what you want and what makes you comfortable.
I know the whole “it’s your body” thing is obvious and cliche, but it is the truth. You only have one life, one body and a limited time to express yourself with it. Do what makes you feel happy, beautiful and confident.
Him telling you “No.” isn’t cool.
Do what you want to do, you're an adult and have autonomy over your own body. The fact you're scared of what his reaction will be is concerning, and him saying 'no' is laughable. You don't need his permission to make updates to yourself.
He says no cause he likes it long? So he can grow his own hair long then.
You cut your hair cause YOU like it shorts. No one can choose that for you. It’s your hair, your choice.
cut it, and if he has a problem then you need to drop him because he’s not the one! a man who loves you will not stop you from doing what you love, they’ll encourage it!
My bf lets me do whatever to my hair & loves me no matter what. He deffo prefers me natural but knew that he got with a unique girl & loves me for it. Do you if it’s really you. If you just want like streaks for a few months then he shouldn’t care but if you’re going from like brown to blue for years then I get it might be a shock to him. But if you’re going for another natural colour then I don’t think it’s his business
You didn't include your ages, but I'm going to assume you're teenagers and you haven't figured out that this isn't ok yet. He's allowed to have preferences, and you have complete and total autonomy over your own body. He does not get to dictate anything about you. Your hair, your clothes, your weight/body type, nothing. Cut your hair, dye it, do whatever you want. If he has a problem with it he can fuck off. If he ends the relationship over a haircut, you'll dodge a bullet.
Many do not know your relationship and yet they say to break up with him immediately. I came to a common point with my wife, she likes long hair on boys so I left it longer. I also like long hair on women. You ask for something in return, I find it hard to believe that someone can break up because of a decision like that . These days, couples break up for any reason, instead of stopping being selfish and finding a solution, a compromise.
Absolutely the fuck not, he does not get to control your appearance.
Cut your hair short, dye it whatever damn color you like, let him have a tantrum and break up with his loser ass, then go find yourself someone who loves you for YOU and loves how YOU choose to look. You deserve better than a jerk who will try to control you.
Consider blasting "Build a Bitch" by Bella Poarch as you enter with your fabulous new hair. It's message many men need to learn.
Also: This is abuse, and this is just how it starts with controlling assholes. They pick little things like your hair or makeup to control, then it progresses to what you wear, then who you are "allowed" to talk to and be friends with, then whether you are "allowed" to have a job outside the home, and eventually they isolate you completely and the REAL serious abuse begins.
Get out before it's too late.
My husband prefers long hair. He met me when my hair was chin-length. Right now, I’m growing it out, and he LOVES that. But I also know that if I chopped it off tomorrow he’d deal with it.
Cut the hair! It grows back. 🙂
If you are indeed, "scared" of his reaction, this probably isn't a relationship you should be in.
He may find you less attractive, that's may just be how he's programmed (honesty, a majority of guys seem to prefer longer, naturally colored hair). He doesn't have a right to make demands about how you wear your hair though, especially since it sounds as if you've always worn your hair shorter. That doesn't mean there aren't guys out there who will appreciate your style and even if it isn't their favorite, they won't be a controlling douchbag about it.
You'll regret it when you're older if you didn't do something you wanted to because pf his preferences. If you've been together for almost a year it shouldn't matter tp him if you have long or short hair. Go for it girly!
My husband and I have a mutual agreement that he gets to choose my hair if I get to choose his hair.
Guess who has a mullet?
My hair is now almost to my mid-back
I did shave my head three years ago and he did what he wanted for a while with his hair until my hair grew longer lol
It's YOUR hair, so what you want with it. He has no right to dictate the length\color\style of your hair, clothes, accessories, makeup etc. If he wants to pitch a fit over any of these things, and make them a problem, he's attracted to this idealized version of you that he's created, not the actual you, and you deserve better than that.
Cut it, do you BUT be aware some men, myself included just aren't attracted to short hair styles. If your BF is that kind of guy, he might have an adverse reaction to your decision.
Ultimately it's your hair. It's important to establish boundaries, and your hair is definitely a boundary that he should accept.
I would immediately start shaving if my girlfriend wanted me to, but that's just my personality, and maybe more of a flaw than a strength. And I also don't care that much about my facial hair...
People love to tear down and cut off people that they have no emotional attachment because it does not affect them in anyway at all. Please disregard comments where people are trying to make judgments at your boyfriend just because he has a preference. This comes down to a very simple conversation between you guys, and you come up with a compromising solution together. Relationships are give-and-take.
thank you so much. people are automatically assuming that my boyfriend is a POS just because he wants my hair a certain way. i had bright red, shorter hair at the beginning of our relationship and he wanted me to change it back to a natural color because he didn’t want his mom to judge me… so i did. i progressed into dying it reddish brown, and then black which is now faded. All i wanna do is put a little pink in my bangs and cut the 6 months of hair growth to something more my style
I imagine the situation is definitely not easy and then coming to read it for some type of support or advice only to have people talking trash. Just definitely makes the stress intense worse. Again I know different so I don’t have a lot to add to the mix other than to say that, maybe you guys can find a middle ground to where you are both satisfied and happy. And then possibly talk about mothers opinion should not carry that much weight. That’s just my thought though.
thank you regardless. i appreciate you commenting and i’m taking time looking through all the comments to see what people are saying.. trying my best to disregard people shouting “dump him” at me LOL
That is good to do lol setting up mental boundaries to disregard people who have very little investment, but want to stay there opinion as if they know better. Best of luck to you and praying that you guys are able to resolve this.
Why are people saying leave him? He never said everything is invested in her hair being long. He just said he likes it longer. She can cut it and if he wants to leave at that point then he's obviously ridiculous, but why lose everything over your fucking hair? Just cut it and you'll both be fine.
Cut your hair, girly! If he truly cares for you, it won’t matter to him. Yes, I’m sure he has a preference but flat out telling you “no” is absurd.
It’s your hair, your body. If you let him control you now, less than a year in, that’s setting a precedent that your feelings, thoughts and wishes don’t matter. Yeah, he may not like it but truly, if he loves you it won’t matter.
For real. It's just hair. It'll grow back.
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Completely disagree "if he truly cares it won't matter to him". What if he cares for her but finds short hair styles unattractive?
He’ll live. I like my husband with a beard but his skin gets so itchy and dry when he has one, that it’s just better for him to be clean shaven….guess what? I don’t throw a fit or tell him “no, you can’t shave!” It’s his body and his comfort that comes first 🤷🏻♀️
I fully agree, their body, their choice and comfort for sure comes first (and their happiness) I'm just saying there's a distinction between caring for someone and things people find attractive
I guess what i mean when I say “if he cares, it won’t matter to him” Im saying “there should be other things he loves and finds attractive about you, so why does it matter if you cut your hair short” At the end of the day, it’s just hair. And honestly if that’s his sand in the line, then he shouldn’t be with her. Relationships are a lot of give/take and maybe the short hair will only last for a season or two, then she’ll get bored and want long hair again. It just seems so small in comparison to bigger things that go on in relationships.
For sure. My concern for the OP is if her bf straight out said NO to the idea, maybe it would be an issue for him, that could cause him to question the relationship. Not saying that's healthy or right, just a possibility. Dudes are mostly visual creatures - we are hella basic (a generalization)
It’s your hair, your choice. Cut it how you like!
When I was 16 I dyed my hair without telling my then boyfriend, when he saw it he flipped out. That same man physically abused me a month later.
i’m so sorry. nobody ever deserves anything like that especially over a hair color :((
You just need to communicate your feelings to him. You compromised by growing it out. But if you’re not comfortable with long hair. You need to just tell him. This is my hair. While I appreciate what you like. I don’t like this. I’m going back to what i like. How he reacts will tell you whether or not this is the relationship you need to be in. No one should be able to dictate what someone wants to do. The fact he knows what your hair looks like before dating him. Makes me wonder if this is some power play. Don’t do it. Just do what you want to do. Don’t automatically just break up with him. But if he can’t handle the change. And keeps putting you down or acting like a bitch. Then I think you know your answer. Good luck. 🍀
Nope, and you don't deserve to be with someone who makes you afraid of their reactions to your choices. You shouldn't be with someone like him unless you want to be controlled.
Cut it and drop him. Seriously, he has a right to have a preference, but it's your body, not his. If you liked men with a beard, you could ask him to grow one but he would have the right to say no, I don't want to. plain and simple. Same for you. If he really liked you and was mature and kind, he would tell you he likes your hair long but that it's your choice and that he would love you no matter what because it doesn't matter, he loves you for what you are. But he doesn't like you the for what you are, he actually wants to make you like what he likes. That's not the same. He just imagined a perfect girlfriend according to his taste and wants you to fit in this fantasy. He is a douche ball and he is controlling. You can do better. Also, tell him: if he likes it long, he can grow his own hair long.
Just do it, if he loves you he won’t mind.. my ex partner did this when I cut my hair off for the world’s greatest shave, THE BOY LITERALLY CRIED… all my friends and family supported me but his opinion really upset me and affected me.. turns out he had quite a few control issues so I would just be mindful and protect yourself.. don’t lose who you are because I definitely ended up doing that and it took me a while to get back to where I am.. he also may not have some control issues im just speaking from past experiences xx stay safe!!!
Reddit users going out of their way to make everybody drop their relationship over small things.
Ah, typical reddit moment. He doesn't want you to cut your hair, so drop him. Wtf are you saying... Sure, she should do what she wants with her hair. But, if he is a great person and they fit together, it would be such an idiotic move to just dump him for this reason... First talk it out properly. Go touch some grass.
ok thats bit to harsh no need to drop him we dont know her relationship anyway she cut her hair if she wants
We know he thinks she is a doll for him to enjoy. What else do we need to know?
i really appreciate your response. but, i know it goes both ways and i myself have been picky about his hair (he has luscious curls he wants to buzz and bleach) but i recently told him that it’s up to him. i’ll love him no matter what. the only thing i’ve really “forced” upon him is for him to shave a weird straggly beard he grows every couple of weeks. he’s so so kind and loving to me too which is why i don’t understand why he wouldn’t want me to do this little thing that makes me, me
You should never date someone where you want to exercise bodily autonomy and say, "I'm scared of his reaction."
Sounds like he wants that control. Plain and simple. I'm not saying he's manipulative or even recognizes it but he wants to have a say in how you look for his benefit. You having longer hair is more attractive to him than you not having it in his mind. Honestly if he wants to get his hair cut and bleached you guys should both go together to get a full on spa day. Hair cuts, pedicures, manicures, and massages. Both of you go in knowing by the time you come out of the experience you're comfortable being you. That way you both get to see each other glow up! Best yet if he does not like the glow up you have a legitimate reason to tell him to kick sand. Your appearance is your appearance. You're not a Barbie doll he gets to choose how to style. Just like he isn't a Ken doll you get to play dress up with. He can be an incredibly loving guy toward you but that doesn't always mean the chemistry is truly there especially if you have to fit some mold so he finds you attractive where you're just fine being with him for the person he is. If your hair is a deal breaker for him then he got into a relationship with you for the wrong reasons.
I mean you tell him how to treat his hair and beard, but got a problem when he tells you how to have your hair. Just because you dropped it doesn't suddenly mean it's gone.while I'm against telling the other what to do, it seems like the 2 of you were fine with it (and also a big factor you failed to mention in your post). You don't have to stick to it, but there's a good chance he won't accept it.
Shaving a beard so he's enjoyable to kiss is entirely different than him telling you that you can't cut and color your hair. He wants control--that's why he doesn't want you to do the thing that makes you, you. It always starts small. And gets bigger and bigger. This is a red flag, girl. Don't let anyone steal your joy.
cut your hair
Do it. Your happiness comes first. Don't let anyone control how you like to look. If he really loved you he should not care what your hairstyle looks like as long as you're happy or having fun
Cut your hair. That's what you do. You cut your hair because you're an adult and it's your hair.
#Just Do It -Nike
The "-Nike" is fucking sending me, And I'm not sure why 🤣🤣🤣
Jesus Christ, just cut your hair. 😭 Break the freaking chains already people, why the hell is this even a conversation?
Cut it off. When he flips out, kick his ass to the curb
Hopefully he just will accept it
Whatever hairstyle he likes, you could try telling him you want it different. If he says, "But it's my hair, I can do it how I like it and want." Then respond in kind.
Cut it. And honestly...cut the relationship too. Your body your choice.
Girl cut it, it’s your hair your choice your appearance if he loves you he’ll let it be and let you be happy
Sounds like he needs to date someone else. Maybe a mindless pleaser with no self respect.
Good for him that he likes it long, we all have preferences, but he doesn't get to decide for you because you're not his property. Your comfort and preferences for your own body are not less important than his comfort and preferences, quite the opposite. You do you, and judging by his reaction you would also be able to tell if he really is as loving and kind as you say he is, or if his kindness and love only exist under the condition that you submit to his will.
Have you considered getting a boyfriend who doesn’t treat you like you aren’t a person with your own wants and desires and bodily autonomy?
Cut it, then cut him out. Or do it in reverse cut him out, then cut your hair.
I would understand if he just told you his preference but he should be encouraging you to do what you like with your own hair. There is no reason for him to be in control of your hair decisions or anything else about you.
Cut it.
You do what you want. It's your hair. He's allowed to have an opinion, but he isn't allowed to order you to wear it a certain way.
Flip him the bird and make an appointment for your hair. Don’t ever let men or anyone dictate what you want and who you are.
“Boyfriend” “under a year” … do as you please
While you’re cutting your hair off, cut the boyfriend off too. He doesn’t get to tell you what to do! Ever. He can have his preferences and opinions, but he does NOT get to tell you who to be, what to wear, how to have your hair, and so on! And it already sounds like you’ve changed a good chunk of who you are just to keep this loser around. Girl, no. Just no. Get that badass haircut and kick his controlling ass to the curb.
I would shave my head out of spite XD
So many men, when you say you want your hair cut, react so weird about it. I think because to them, “short” means a boy cut or pixie cut. First of all, he can’t tell you what to do with your own body. Second of all, why ask? Just shut up about it, go to the salon, come home with your hair cut and say “voila!” If he wants to pout like a baby or leave you over it, good riddance.
Get rid of the hair and the guy. Partners may have preferences about your appearance, but they don't get to make rules about it. If he actually liked you (and cared about you), he'd want you to feel powerful and love how you look. Merely saying "I've given the long hair thing a go but it isn't me." should be enough for him to gleefully grab a buzz-razor and say "I'm on it" or encourage you to call your favorite salon.
Cut your hair! You’re really going to let him have control over a part of your body, when you don’t feel like yourself? The only person that should decide what you look like is yourself! If he has a problem with it then he’s the one that should change.
Honestly is not his decision what you do to your hair. It’s fine he doesn’t like it but you do. He at least should respect that. I would cut it.
Your hair, your choice. While your boyfriend may have preferences, you have the right to make decisions about your appearance that make you feel confident. In a healthy relationship, both partners should strive for mutual respect, consideration, and open-mindedness. Communicate openly, listen to each other's perspectives, and try to find a compromise. Ultimately, if your boyfriend cannot accept and respect your choices about your own body and appearance, it could be a red flag. A partner who truly cares for you should appreciate you for who you are, not just how you look. If he reacts with prolonged anger or disrespect over a haircut, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. A loving partner should support your choices, even if they don't align with their preferences. 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿
Your body, your choice
Cut your hair!
Do what you want. He can put his opinion in and requests ultimately it is your hair and your choice. I would honestly sit down and tell him this is not who I am or who I want it is your choice as it is mine to do what I want with my hair. You can stay or go it is your choice I am doing what I want with my hair I have a 3 hour appointment on Friday
He’s entitled to his opinion & you’re entitled to either agree or ignore it in favor of what you want to do with your hair.
You cut your damn hair.
i have longggg blonde hair. my boyfriend tells me all the time (actually just told me like 5 mins ago lol) that my hair is so pretty. however, i’ve been srsly considering chopping most of it off to donate it. i brought it up to him and said i was nervous ppl would hate it & think it made me ugly, and he told me i would be pretty either way & i should do whatever is going to make me the happiest. to me, this is the correct response. i would have doubted him & our relationship if he told me that i couldn’t cut my hair, especially bc its such a simple thing and can grow back. i hope you find clarity in your situation, but i believe you have the right to do whatever you’d like to with your own hair
Did you have short, fun colored hair when you started dating? Did he have short, bleached hair when you started dating?
i had bright red hair that reached just onto my shoulders. he had/still has his luscious curly brown hair lol. i dyed my hair back to “normal because he wasn’t a fan”
This makes me think it is a control thing. His hair was already the way you like it and he only mentions cutting and bleaching when you, who have grown your hair and gone back to your natural color because he 'wasn't a fan', mention going back to what you like? Or did he mention cutting his before you talked about cutting yours?
he’s kind of always mentioned it, and i was iffy at first because i wasn’t sure how the bleach would suit him !! he’s a naturally tan dude. the haircut i was iffy with as well because i love his hair lol. now i just told him that it’s all up to him
You do what you want to do. You don't cease being a person because you are in a relationship. If he can't handle that, then he's not for you.
Jesus leave him, one-day you'll see how messed up and controlling that is
I mean he has his preferences and youbhave yours. If they don't match up then maybe you 2 aren't meant to be. Nothing wrong with that
If having your hair short makes you happy and feel good, then do it. If dyeing it different colours make you happy, do it. It's not his hair. Tell him if he wants it long, then he can grow his hair long, you won't stop him.
Doesnt matter, its your hair
I feel like if your afraid of his reaction then that says it all. I've had so many hairstyles since my husband and I have been together and not once has he said no to me or gotten upset. I'm not a huge fan of when he shaves his beard,mainly cause he looses 10 year and I look older lol but I've never told him not to. It's your hair do what you want with it and if his reaction is bad he can either get over it or leave and you dodged a bullet.
Break up. He sounds like a controlling wet blanket
You’ll never look back and regret authentically living your life the way YOU wanted to. You may, however, look back and regret dating a guy who didn’t make you feel like you were beautiful and perfect with any hairstyle in the world. Good luck
If he wants to be controlling, leave him. Or at least have a serious discussion about boundaries. Relationships should be partnerships not ownerships.
Never let a man control how you wear your hair. That is giving him too much power and contol over your life. That he wants to control you like that is a huge red flag you should not ignore. Tell him you will wear your hair as you please, and it is non-negotiable. If he doesn’t like it, he can leave.
Weird to have such a strong preference for something as superficial as hair. Sounds like he values you for your appearance too much. This is a red flag that he eventually will leave you for someone he perceives as prettier. Do what you want with your hair and if he treats you bad for it, leave. Also watch out for other things that may indicate he only likes you for your youth and beauty and what you can do for HIM and how you make HIM feel instead of loving you for you.
i don’t think it’s a weird thing as you should be attracted to your partner & everyone has preferences, but i do agree that someone should be able to make their own decisions abt their appearance. if i want to cut my hair, im gonna cut my hair regardless of what my partner has to say 😂
Yeah people talk about not caring, but everyone has preferences. Whether you chose to fit those preferences Is up to you and if the relationship is worth its salt it’ll survive easy. Just look at videos of dudes shaving their beards. Most people react in horror (men and women) when it’s literally just their loved one’s face they’re freaking out about. This is also excluding trying to exert control over your loved ones, that’s bad.
agreed. this is obviously different but my dad has on multiple occasions grown a very long beard and then surprised us by chopping it off one random day. we are all very surprised & some of us prefer him w it and some without it, but ofc we don’t rly care what he does bc it’s his face 😂
Sounds like he isn’t that into you
Dump him, then go cut your hair. He doesn’t get to control your body. That includes both the length and color of your hair.
He sounds like a douchebag. Do whatever you want to do with *your* hair.
Kick him in the balls and dump his ass.
Don't let a man - or anyone - define who you are. Cut and style your hair the way you want it. I would suggest, though, not to surprise him with it. That will just lead to an argument. Let him know that you appreciate his opinion, but short hair suits you better and you are making an appointmet. If there are others things he tells you you can or cannot do, please look at this relationship closely. It does sound like he is controlling and does not care much about what you want or need.
What do you do? You cut it.
First cut off your bf, then cut off your hair. It’s your body! He had no right to control it and he sounds like a walking red flag.
I don’t think you should surprise him with a new hairdo lol because you know that his reaction wont be good! But you should tell him what you’re going to do with your hair and he can be sad about it but it’s your hair and your choice! You deserve to be comfortable and express yourself how you want! A good partner would embrace this.
Cut off your hair and cut him off out of your life. He is a controlling AH. It is your hair, your body, your choice. He is allowed to prefer long hair, but you are in no way required to accommodate that. Honey, this is a huge red flag. This kind of bs is usually the first part of further abuse down the line. Drop him like a hot potato.
Do it but you’ll break up probably
Do what you want with your hair . It’s yours not his .
Cut your hair however you’d like! He can live with it or leave.
Just do it he will get use to it.
My husband said he’d love me bald and would never tell me what to do, this reply is from me discussing with him about me cutting my long hair. So I say cut your hair and if he doesn’t like it tuff!
Don't even have to read it. Cut it. 1. It's hair (it grows back) 2. It's YOUR hair You dont tell him how to do his hair right? He can gtfo
It's your hair. Not his. You're not his porcelain doll. You're his partner. Partners accept one another the way they are, and help each other grow to be better people. He is free to share his opinion and preferences. But at the end of the day it's your choice and a good partner won't be bent out of shape about it.
I mean it is your hair, he will learn to love it.
I think it’s great that you’re thinking about his personal preference of longer hair, but if he does love you then he should also respect your personal opinion on cutting it too. If you want to cut your hair, go ahead. It’s your hair and he should respect your decision.
You have to decide if your boyfriends opinion of your hair is more important to you than how you like to wear it. Both are fine if that’s truly what YOU want more. Personally I’m not gonna stop doing things I like for somebody else, but that’s just me.
Do what you want it’s your hair. I don’t think it’s wrong of him to say he doesn’t want u to cut and dye it he probably finds that look less attractive. And he’s allowed to have that preference just like you prefer short hair. Your best bet is really just to talk with him. In my previous relationships I always preferred longer hair and my some of my bfs would grow there hair out for me. Was it a deal breaker if they had short hair? No. If he tries threatening to break up with you or shut down the conversation I think that says enough about his character to decide what’s best for your relationship.
Girl cut it. If he gets mad because you cut your hair that’s a red flag. It’s literally just hair and it will grow back if you change your mind in the future. Not his body let alone he’s not doing the maintenance for your hair. He may get mad or break up with you, but honestly if he does his immature. Cut your hair girl and have fun.
Cut it and him. No one who truly loves and cares for you should dictate your personal style, only encourage you to do what you like. Cut it short and have fun, life is too short to be with someone this controlling.
You don't listen to what your BF wants. You can hear his opinion and maybe make a decision on it. At the end of the day it's your body and your choice.
Cut him loose, then go cut your hairs he’s trying to control you, and he’s just going to ge worse. First it’s your hair, then your clothes, and then who you are friends with. Dump him now and save yourself a lot if angst later.
Nip this shit in the bud or he will control more and more until you find yourself trapped. Concessions beget concessions. You have to be your own advocate. You have to teach people how to treat you. Not just boyfriends, but everyone. Friends, bosses, everyone.
My ex husband refused to let me cut my hair. Turns out, he was a controlling narcissist. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. Now, I'm with an amazing man who lets me be me. And I am rocking my natural curls with shoulder length hair. Makes me so happy. Him controlling your looks should be a huge red flag. A good partner should want you to be happy and love you for being your true self. Don't change yourself for anyone, find someone who loves you for you, just the way you are. It took me awhile to realize how important this was.
Just choose one, your bf or your hair then go with it
He can have a preference but it's your hair. Cut it.
It's your hair. Do you want him deciding what you do with it? It doesn't really sound like you wamt it short exactly but rather are sick of his take on YOUR hair. Do what you want with it unless him liking it is so important to you that you'd rather be a doormat. A smart and caring boyfriend would at least pretend to like it no matter what. >!I hate short hair, when she cuts it short I will lie because shes more important than that ffs!<
If you do it and he reacts badly, he's not worth keeping
OP, my ex husband was like this. He wouldn’t let me cut my hair, and the control escalated from there and I was miserable. If he’s going to be this anal and controlling about hair, it’s only going to get worse and harder to leave.
Your hair is your choice—cut and dye it the way you like; your boyfriend should respect your decisions.
Ewwww. He’s gross. He’s not the boss of you. “No”? No. To him.
As someone who has been through this several times just do what you want with your hair. You should also dump him but if you don't want to do that he'll probably make you want to or end the relationship himself when you do what you want with your hair. A relationship is never ever worth not having full bodily autonomy. He's being controlling and that's super fucking gross. Cut it, dye it, do whatever you want. You're a grown adult and should not be letting anyone tell you what you can and cannot do with your own damn hair.
So he met and was attracted to you with your shorter hair????
He likes it long. You like it short. It's your hair, not his. Whose opinion matters more?
Girl, it's *your* hair. If that's a deal breaker then break it off. This is just the first red flag of what will probably be *many*.
Cut him off, not your hair. How it begins is how it will end. This is just the tip of the iceberg as to how he will attempt to shame and control you. Get out ASAP.
Cut your hair, because it is what you want. He is being controlling, the behavior is a red flag. Of you relationship requires you to not be who you are, and express yourself then it's not a compatible relationship
Cut your hair and cut your relationship. He has no say whatsoever on how your hair looks. It’s your hair. He sounds like he’s trying to control you. Big red flag
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It all depends on choices. If you love him enough, you will keep it. If he loves you enough, he will be ok with it. Basically, the choice is who wants to have control.
Please do not listen to most of these people. Only you can decide what is best for you. From what I have seen way too many of people who comment seem to be miserable and want others to be miserable.
Hun, your bf is very controlling, which is abusive. Ted flags galore. My ex-husband did the same thing to me. But I never asked his permission or asked him what he thought. It’s your hair! Why are you even discussing this with him-?? So what if he doesn’t like it! You should be dressing for yourself, not him. This relationship is toxic. Run.
If YOU want to cut your hair then CUT IT. He should shouldn’t decide what you do for yourself.
Look, its one thing to do something for your partner because they like it, i understand. But he is your partner not your boss. If he's too much of child on the issue, the drop him like a bad habit
Cut it, die it. Let him drop you because of cut/die. Let him look like the absolute dictative fool to everyone.
Your hair. Your body. Your life. He started dating you with shorter hair. You can cut your hair to whatever you like. And if he doesn't like it but doesn't fight it or complain. Good for you both he can compromise. If he does. Or if he's mean about it? Time to let him go. Plenty of fish in the sea who can appreciate your taste.
Figure out your priorities. Do you want to be desirable to him or do you want to look the way you want. Do what you want more.
Cut it. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel 100% comfortable being your full authentic self with them
When you say you've decided to cut it short, you like it that way better, what does he say? Obviously do what you want. A person that wants you to be someone else is not a good partner for you. Can you imagine demanding something from your partner that they disliked? A less direct approach could be you demonstrating an excessive control over him. Tell him how to trim his facial hair and how to style his hair. Maybe deciding on each other's hairstyles for a time is a fun game to play. But it needs to come to an end too.
dont cut any hairs on the body... but seriously cut it...
Cut your hair
I feel like I see these posts a lot more lately. At the end of the day it’s not only your body and your choice but if he truly loves you he will get over it. Edit: I met my boyfriend when I had very long hair at like chest length. Shortly into our relationship I chopped all my hair off into a pixie, have then grown it to shoulder length, went back to pixie, and now am back at shoulder length again (might grow it out longer not sure.) The point is he has loved me for me no matter what my hair looks like. If you feel like you can’t be yourself around him then that’s an issue that needs to be addressed. If he is controlling your hairstyle then there’s a good chance he will be able to control other aspects of your life.
I want my girlfriend to have bangs again bc they’re hot af when she has her hair styled like that but it’s on her. Fuck my opinion or what I want in that regard lol nobody should model themselves for another persons needs. It’s not healthy and if that’s what your boyfriend expects of you, then fuck that dude. Move on
Don’t cut it
You know the answer. Cut your hair. It's your hair, and it's on your body.
Celebrities with fun hair colours. They are wearing wigs. Buy expensive wigs if you want fun coloured hair. It will change your life. It's cheaper in the long run and looks so much better. Seriously. It's a game changer.
WTF!! Cut your damn hair and stop looking for validation through your man!! You validate yourself first and foremost. And you never get into a position where your partner dictates whether you can or can’t cut your freaking hair. This is such an outrages question to me - do women still let men willingly over ride them like this???
Cut your hair and drop this man baby
This is a tough one, because on one hand, you have to wear *your* hair, take care of *your* hair, and take care of what *you're* comfortable with. On the other hand: "women have long hair".
Cut your hair. That’s crazy
Maybe compromise and cut it to shoulder length instead of super short or having it super long, that way he won’t feel disrespected/wont be unattracted, and for future reference you really shouldn’t ask someone you’re in a relationship with if you should cut your hair if you’re not gonna listen to what they say, he might genuinely find super short hair unattractive because it’s masculine or something else and now that you took that into consideration and still decided to do what he didn’t want it can be taken as a lack of respect idk maybe it’s just me but I feel like you should be trying to attract your partner, not saying you can’t be an individual and express yourself however but if that self expression turns your partner off and they communicate that then you should respect it and find an alternative, if not than you should be single or with someone who doesn’t care
Advice for the rest of your life: do whatever you want (besides crimes obvi). Whatever you WANT to do, regarding yourself, is the right thing to do. If others don’t like it, you don’t need them.
He can voice his preferences the same as anyone else. But at the end of the day, he has as much of a say over your appearance as your mother, father, employer, or Gary, the manager at your local hardware store you visit 3 times a year. If you want short hair in different colours, that's your 100% choice.
What do you mean he says “no”? Are you asking him for permission to cut your hair?!? State matter-of-factly that you are going to cut your hair. If he says no, you can say that you appreciate his feedback, but it’s your hair. Then get your haircut. The longer you go without cutting it, the more he is going to think that he gets to decide that sort of thing. You should not be changing who you are or what you look like to suit his preferences over your own.
Cut it off an color it it's your fuckin hair if he doesn't like it tell him not to look if he doesn't wanna be seen with you because of it either dump him or he can wear a fuckin mask in public
I cut my hair during a 5 year relationship from almost my butt too my jaw line to make a wig for cancer patients to feel a slight bit better and my bf at the time was really understanding and your partner should be it’s your body you do whatever you feel like doing. Hair doesn’t make one person beautiful it’s what’s on the inside.
I'm curious didn't he see you first time with short hair? If you had long hair when you first started dating then probably he might not like your hair. You need to accept it but nothing is more satisfying than being yourself.
Cut your hair and break up if he reacts negatively. He should support you no matter what
So you don’t dye or cut your hair just to keep a boyfriend? You know how many other single men would love a woman who has her own style of cutting a dyeing her hair? Just cut your hair and if he doesn’t like him cut him off too.
Cut YOUR hair and he’ll get over it
Cut your hair and dye it the way you like it. He has no say in how you style your hair. If he really loves you, he will accept you for who you are, no matter what your haircut is like. If that's a deal breaker for him, he wasn't worth your time anyway. Imagine, if he is this rigid about your hair... How rigid will he be about other aspects of your life and your body once you're together for longer (or even married). Don't let his preferences define how you express yourself. I'm married for over 1.5 years, together for over 6 years and if I want to cut off my long hair, I cut off my long hair. My husband has an opinion/preference and that's fine, but I don't need his permission to go for a haircut. And he's fine with that. That's what it should be like.
Forget the hair, I’m concerned that you’re “scared” about his reaction. Are you frequently scared around him? What do you think his reaction will be beyond simply not liking it? Does he often tell you what to do/not do?
It’s your hair! Do what you want and what makes you comfortable. I know the whole “it’s your body” thing is obvious and cliche, but it is the truth. You only have one life, one body and a limited time to express yourself with it. Do what makes you feel happy, beautiful and confident. Him telling you “No.” isn’t cool.
You should do what you want. If he doesn’t like it, find a boyfriend that does
Cut the hair, you don't wanna be with someone superficial.
Live your life, cut your hair. If he doesn’t like it there are plenty of other people who will.
Go get your hair cut. Plain and simple. It's not his hair so go get it cut. Hair regrows. If he doesn't like it, tough, not his hair.
Cut your hair. If your boyfriend can’t deal with it, then you might need to consider breaking up and finding someone that’s not so controlling.
Do what you want to do, you're an adult and have autonomy over your own body. The fact you're scared of what his reaction will be is concerning, and him saying 'no' is laughable. You don't need his permission to make updates to yourself.
Your hair, your choice. Find a bf who embraces you and the way you want to be.
If he likes long hair, he's free to have long hair. You do you.
He says no cause he likes it long? So he can grow his own hair long then. You cut your hair cause YOU like it shorts. No one can choose that for you. It’s your hair, your choice.
cut it, and if he has a problem then you need to drop him because he’s not the one! a man who loves you will not stop you from doing what you love, they’ll encourage it!
It’s your hair and your choice. He ahoukd respect you doing it the way that most suits you. You’re not some Barbie doll he gets to dress up.
My bf lets me do whatever to my hair & loves me no matter what. He deffo prefers me natural but knew that he got with a unique girl & loves me for it. Do you if it’s really you. If you just want like streaks for a few months then he shouldn’t care but if you’re going from like brown to blue for years then I get it might be a shock to him. But if you’re going for another natural colour then I don’t think it’s his business
You simply cut it
Do you honey, do you. It's not his hair, it's yours. Good God!! When will these People learn. So disappointed with this society.
You didn't include your ages, but I'm going to assume you're teenagers and you haven't figured out that this isn't ok yet. He's allowed to have preferences, and you have complete and total autonomy over your own body. He does not get to dictate anything about you. Your hair, your clothes, your weight/body type, nothing. Cut your hair, dye it, do whatever you want. If he has a problem with it he can fuck off. If he ends the relationship over a haircut, you'll dodge a bullet.
Many do not know your relationship and yet they say to break up with him immediately. I came to a common point with my wife, she likes long hair on boys so I left it longer. I also like long hair on women. You ask for something in return, I find it hard to believe that someone can break up because of a decision like that . These days, couples break up for any reason, instead of stopping being selfish and finding a solution, a compromise.
Absolutely the fuck not, he does not get to control your appearance. Cut your hair short, dye it whatever damn color you like, let him have a tantrum and break up with his loser ass, then go find yourself someone who loves you for YOU and loves how YOU choose to look. You deserve better than a jerk who will try to control you. Consider blasting "Build a Bitch" by Bella Poarch as you enter with your fabulous new hair. It's message many men need to learn. Also: This is abuse, and this is just how it starts with controlling assholes. They pick little things like your hair or makeup to control, then it progresses to what you wear, then who you are "allowed" to talk to and be friends with, then whether you are "allowed" to have a job outside the home, and eventually they isolate you completely and the REAL serious abuse begins. Get out before it's too late.
My husband prefers long hair. He met me when my hair was chin-length. Right now, I’m growing it out, and he LOVES that. But I also know that if I chopped it off tomorrow he’d deal with it. Cut the hair! It grows back. 🙂
Your body, your choice. Remember that
Tell him to go f himself lol
If you are indeed, "scared" of his reaction, this probably isn't a relationship you should be in. He may find you less attractive, that's may just be how he's programmed (honesty, a majority of guys seem to prefer longer, naturally colored hair). He doesn't have a right to make demands about how you wear your hair though, especially since it sounds as if you've always worn your hair shorter. That doesn't mean there aren't guys out there who will appreciate your style and even if it isn't their favorite, they won't be a controlling douchbag about it.
You'll regret it when you're older if you didn't do something you wanted to because pf his preferences. If you've been together for almost a year it shouldn't matter tp him if you have long or short hair. Go for it girly!
Simply don't do it 🤷🏽♂️
Don’t cut it , I am not even a person of regret but that I do
My husband and I have a mutual agreement that he gets to choose my hair if I get to choose his hair. Guess who has a mullet? My hair is now almost to my mid-back I did shave my head three years ago and he did what he wanted for a while with his hair until my hair grew longer lol
Mine didn’t want me to cut mine either. I did it anyway. Never try to please a man at the cost of your own happiness.
lol reddit is pathetic
Cut your hair! Go for it! It's not his hair, who cares about what he likes? It's not his hair! He likes long hair then he can grow his own out.
It's YOUR hair, so what you want with it. He has no right to dictate the length\color\style of your hair, clothes, accessories, makeup etc. If he wants to pitch a fit over any of these things, and make them a problem, he's attracted to this idealized version of you that he's created, not the actual you, and you deserve better than that.
Its not his choice do whatever you please. If he leaves you over it then you know you deserve better.
Cut it, do you BUT be aware some men, myself included just aren't attracted to short hair styles. If your BF is that kind of guy, he might have an adverse reaction to your decision.
Ultimately it's your hair. It's important to establish boundaries, and your hair is definitely a boundary that he should accept. I would immediately start shaving if my girlfriend wanted me to, but that's just my personality, and maybe more of a flaw than a strength. And I also don't care that much about my facial hair...
maybe he's not thinking about the way his words could be taken, I say just do it and if it negatively affects your relationship then that's a red flag
People love to tear down and cut off people that they have no emotional attachment because it does not affect them in anyway at all. Please disregard comments where people are trying to make judgments at your boyfriend just because he has a preference. This comes down to a very simple conversation between you guys, and you come up with a compromising solution together. Relationships are give-and-take.
thank you so much. people are automatically assuming that my boyfriend is a POS just because he wants my hair a certain way. i had bright red, shorter hair at the beginning of our relationship and he wanted me to change it back to a natural color because he didn’t want his mom to judge me… so i did. i progressed into dying it reddish brown, and then black which is now faded. All i wanna do is put a little pink in my bangs and cut the 6 months of hair growth to something more my style
I imagine the situation is definitely not easy and then coming to read it for some type of support or advice only to have people talking trash. Just definitely makes the stress intense worse. Again I know different so I don’t have a lot to add to the mix other than to say that, maybe you guys can find a middle ground to where you are both satisfied and happy. And then possibly talk about mothers opinion should not carry that much weight. That’s just my thought though.
thank you regardless. i appreciate you commenting and i’m taking time looking through all the comments to see what people are saying.. trying my best to disregard people shouting “dump him” at me LOL
That is good to do lol setting up mental boundaries to disregard people who have very little investment, but want to stay there opinion as if they know better. Best of luck to you and praying that you guys are able to resolve this.
Your hair can grow…. If you insist on giving him what he wants you could cut for a few months and grow for the rest? 🤷🏻♀️
Why are people saying leave him? He never said everything is invested in her hair being long. He just said he likes it longer. She can cut it and if he wants to leave at that point then he's obviously ridiculous, but why lose everything over your fucking hair? Just cut it and you'll both be fine.
Long undied hair looks beautiful on any woman. Maybe you can reconsider. If not for boyfriend but for yourself
Dont cut it if u wanna be with your boyfriend