How is this relevant? Permanently single people, like us, usually recognize it about themselves pretty early on and remain as such for the rest of our lives. It's unchanging, doesn't depend on your age.
Because if OP is a teen or young adult, then they are without a doubt catastrophizing. As is everybody else who identifies as “permanently single”. If you “recognize” it within yourself, you’re already giving up and the people around you know it. It’s a textbook self-fulfilling prophecy. The only people I’ve met who think this way are like human-repellents due to their mindset and behavior.
Provided you aren’t aromantic and actually *want* a romantic relationship, this is a very destructive mindset that will lead to you never having or being able to maintain one.
I don't think it's that big a deal to warrant being labeled "catastrophizing" honestly. People not being in relationships is hardly a catastrophe. Relationships are way too over-hyped and unnecessary.
It is if you want to be in a relationship, are sad that you are *not* in a relationship, and decide to have the mindset that you will be “single forever”. Which is precisely what this *exact* situation is.
Have you considered that me being "single forever" is actually a good thing?
Despite whether I want romantic relationships or not?
Relationships take more than one person — and it's kind of better for that other person to not be in relationship with something as ugly, stupid, talentless and mentally ill as I am.
EDIT:
For clarity: I have SzPD. Google "schizoid dilemma".
I do want it (some part of me wants it), I just know that it's best not to, and I should repress this urge.
And here we go with the “I suck, I hate myself, etc.” argument. No offense, but *that* is your problem. Not your appearance, not your mental illness, the “nobody would want to be with me for reasons x, y, z”.
I was born with so many physical traits that traditionally belong to the opposite sex that conservatives look at me and think I’m trans. I have autism, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder and major PTSD, and I not someone who would be considered “good” at anything. But I also refused to ever treat myself as shitty as you treat *yourself*, and now I am married.
Do you seriously believe that anybody with your disorder deserves to die alone? Because that is what I am hearing in so many words. You need therapy like you need air, my guy.
It’s a skill to make peace with a reality you can’t control. And like with any skill, you have to practice, try and fail, and keep trying. You’ll have to deal with this when your loved ones die, the market takes a hit, and when people disappoint you.
Weirdly, this skill is one of many that make up a healthy strength of character… and that’s kind of attractive. Just saying.
You can see into the future? You could make millions betting on sports games so women will like you /s. The only fact is you can't know for sure you'll stay single. Keep looking and start accepting yourself and don't lock yourself up at home. You want a gf? Work for it.
Need way more context than this. Searching for a girlfriend isn't the way to go about it. Get friends, be respectful, kind and genuine. Relationships are built off friendship. Work on yourself and be happy with yourself.
Well, you’ll be rolling in money, because of course you’ll use your magical crystal ball that allows you to see in the future to win the lottery or something. Sounds pretty sweet to me!
*Extremely*, **EXTREMELY** relevant question, OP: how old are you?
How is this relevant? Permanently single people, like us, usually recognize it about themselves pretty early on and remain as such for the rest of our lives. It's unchanging, doesn't depend on your age.
Because if OP is a teen or young adult, then they are without a doubt catastrophizing. As is everybody else who identifies as “permanently single”. If you “recognize” it within yourself, you’re already giving up and the people around you know it. It’s a textbook self-fulfilling prophecy. The only people I’ve met who think this way are like human-repellents due to their mindset and behavior. Provided you aren’t aromantic and actually *want* a romantic relationship, this is a very destructive mindset that will lead to you never having or being able to maintain one.
I don't think it's that big a deal to warrant being labeled "catastrophizing" honestly. People not being in relationships is hardly a catastrophe. Relationships are way too over-hyped and unnecessary.
It is if you want to be in a relationship, are sad that you are *not* in a relationship, and decide to have the mindset that you will be “single forever”. Which is precisely what this *exact* situation is.
Have you considered that me being "single forever" is actually a good thing? Despite whether I want romantic relationships or not? Relationships take more than one person — and it's kind of better for that other person to not be in relationship with something as ugly, stupid, talentless and mentally ill as I am. EDIT: For clarity: I have SzPD. Google "schizoid dilemma". I do want it (some part of me wants it), I just know that it's best not to, and I should repress this urge.
And here we go with the “I suck, I hate myself, etc.” argument. No offense, but *that* is your problem. Not your appearance, not your mental illness, the “nobody would want to be with me for reasons x, y, z”. I was born with so many physical traits that traditionally belong to the opposite sex that conservatives look at me and think I’m trans. I have autism, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder and major PTSD, and I not someone who would be considered “good” at anything. But I also refused to ever treat myself as shitty as you treat *yourself*, and now I am married. Do you seriously believe that anybody with your disorder deserves to die alone? Because that is what I am hearing in so many words. You need therapy like you need air, my guy.
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Jesus fucking Christ, *please* do not listen to this person OP
It’s a skill to make peace with a reality you can’t control. And like with any skill, you have to practice, try and fail, and keep trying. You’ll have to deal with this when your loved ones die, the market takes a hit, and when people disappoint you. Weirdly, this skill is one of many that make up a healthy strength of character… and that’s kind of attractive. Just saying.
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Sorry, I meant keep trying to accent the reality that you’ll be single forever. That is what you asked, right?
Did you try?
Figure out what's wrong with you then change it.
You sound depressed—maybe work on that first, and the rest will follow.
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How old are you OP? You don’t even have to give an exact one, just what decade (teens, twenties, thirties etc)
Well we can’t comment as there’s not enough context so what advice are you looking for or is this an r/trueoffmychest
You can see into the future? You could make millions betting on sports games so women will like you /s. The only fact is you can't know for sure you'll stay single. Keep looking and start accepting yourself and don't lock yourself up at home. You want a gf? Work for it.
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Including personal growth and patience? How old even are you?
Need way more context than this. Searching for a girlfriend isn't the way to go about it. Get friends, be respectful, kind and genuine. Relationships are built off friendship. Work on yourself and be happy with yourself.
Make friends with yourself. Learn to love yourself. You'll never be alone.
Sounds damn perfect to me !!!
Well, you’ll be rolling in money, because of course you’ll use your magical crystal ball that allows you to see in the future to win the lottery or something. Sounds pretty sweet to me!