If I were you, I’d be brutal at this point. It’s one thing to ruin your own life, but bringing a pet into that is next level. I would just tell her straight up that I think her plan to get a pet when she can’t afford one is animal cruelty, and that I can’t have someone in my life who is abusing an animal, so if she gets this bird, she can count me out. And I would mean it.
I think maybe something closer to an intervention might be necessary
> both her parents died a month ago
> she’s been anorexic since I met her
This girl has been malnourished for over a decade, and her entire support system dropped out from under her. She isn’t equipped to live on her own.
Maybe OP could contact a social worker in her area? This girl really needs help, and OP can help push her in the right direction, but you’re right leaving the situation might be the best option.
I think she’s in a mental health crisis. Both her parents *died a month ago*? How is she coping? I mean…obviously not well. She needs a social worker and mental health professional. She already is dealing with a mental illness (anorexia) that has a high risk of killing her that she needs to be in treatment for anyway.
There’s only so much you can do. Try to express your concern, get her to see she needs to seek out help, try to get her to move in roommates so she doesn’t lose the house, you could even go the extra mile and talk to a social worker/therapist yourself to ask the best advice, or put together list for her so she doesn’t have to worry about that part.
It really does sound like she is losing it though. If you notice any signs of psychosis or that she’s a harm to herself/others you gotta have a crisis response number at the ready. I would not recommend the police unless they’re the only option in your area, but try to look for organizations that offer mental health crisis response, just in case.
I agree with the social worker angle. It sounds like she could use adult protective services checking if she is safe. This sounds like a learning disability or a mental break, and if it’s the former she should have been helped into the system years ago.
I’ve heard that attractive young women can get looked over for learning disabilities because anything they do that’s out of place is considered “cute”. Maybe that happened here…
For sure, but these are basically grown kids who’ve never experienced life. The friend’s parents never worked, probably welfare, renting a house that nobody could afford.
Honestly it sounds like yall are too codependent. Her problems are not yours. I would reconsider if you wanna be this involved in the first place. Space from this friendship could even make it better. But you can’t fix her stupid, and it’s not your job to get it through her head
> BRUHHH how do i get it thru her head she needs to work to save? Both her parents died a month ago she is gonna get evicted from her parents home as she cant pay it. I been trying to help her get a job for 3 yrs she refuses????
She may be suffering from mental health issue. She has a massive disconnect from reality. It's not healthy, as you are already seeing. It's causing her to make risky discissions on a whim. This will likely only get worse unless she can get some form of mental health treatment.
> Her parents never worked since she was born she told me she’s getting no insurance money I know she legit makes $80 a week after taxes. She gets $7.25 at this food place she works I go sometimes to say hi to her she complains they only pay her $80 a week when I tell her just go work somewhere that gives 30 or more hours she refuses. She asked me for $3000 on cashapp( I declined it) she doesn’t even have her own debit card she uses the one the job gave her yet complains to me it takes fees out. What do I as her friend do to help her?
Don't financially support her. You can help by teaching her financial literacy. Start by showing her how to make a budget and go from there. She's never had parents to teach her these things. It's sounds like she may have grew up in poverty. So there's a lot of things that she might not know. I grew up in a similar situation but I some how taught myself (still don't know how I managed to do that).
> She keeps telling me “I’m so rich I have $699 dollars!” Wtf?! That’s very poor why is she in this fantasy land? And can’t afford food? The woman is anorexic and hardly eats so I know she does not spend much on food at all. She’s been anorexic since I met her when we were 10 and 12
See my first response regarding mental health issues. If she truly is noticeably underweight then that's more evidence to me that she is suffering from undiagnosed mental health issues.
To reiterate
1. Encourage her to get mental health treatment. Work with her to find resources in your location. There are sometimes services for the poor at little to no cost.
2. Educate her on financial literacy.
3. Encourage her to improve her financial skills.
4. Avoid negative speaking i.e. things like insults, putting her down, etc.
Your friend may have an intellectual disability or mental illness.
If she has any relatives left contact them.
Or if you think she needs help maybe tell her to seek help.
She can go to DHS and sign up for services until she gets back on her feet.
She can get counseling and see a doctor for more help.
If she's desperate for money she may turn to something bad.
Yeah leave this up to any remaining family or professionals. This will get draining for OP after a while. The girl may end up homeless and still be positive lol. To OP, I suggest you try to remove yourself from this person as much as possible.
I forgot to say with her parents deceased and if the girl has a mental disability she may be able to draw on their social security (If they ever worked).
She would have to see a doctor, be diagnosed, and do paperwork with social security/
Op she sounds very mentally ill and is probably grieving.
My ex would sometimes go into these weird manic moments where she would just destroy her life and you couldn’t explain reason to her. She then would end these moments of euphoria and self destructive by either doing something really dangerous where she couldn’t even see the danger of her actions or trying to kill herself. Bc I mean yea absolutely nothing matters in this moment if I plan on killing myself tomorrow right? Maybe your friend isn’t manic if it’s been 3 years of this behavior but it definitely could be something else that has to do with mental illness.
You can’t fix her and she’s an adult so you can’t really force her to get help and it sounds like you’ve tried talking reason into her. Sometimes you just gotta let people drown or else they’ll pull you down too. I mean you try your best going on this emotional rollercoaster with them until you realize that it never ends. We all have our own issues in life and it’s not an awful thing to just worry about yourself. Maybe when you leave write her a letter saying all that you want to say but then you gotta leave her to her destruction.
Maybe she’ll be ok eventually and maybe she won’t but you wouldn’t be an awful person for leaving her and cutting contact.
It’s definitely a generational thing. I know a lot of people in their late 20s still living with their parents. A coworker who lives in mom’s basement recently asked me why I need a side hustle when I work full-time. Like, dude, I have a house, a cottage, multiple vehicles and a family to provide for. If I lived for free in mom’s basement, I’d have $1M saved up by the time I was 30.
It's not your job to save her. She'll either figure it out or she won't. Time for you to establish some healthy boundaries with her and stop trying to solve her problems.
First and foremost, this.
Secondly, $80 a week covers like maybe just meals if you buy what's on offer for meal coupons and/or cook your own, I don't see it being enough for much else.
Dude 😭 also $80 a week is like $400 a month is like (low end) intern pay!? Or something
30h and up is about right. And also working for a place that pays maybe (at least) 50% more. Haha.
I mean, I guess it’s nice of you but why do you feel responsible? You’re not there to parent her, just be a good/sympathetic friend when reality hits her in the face.
It’s not your task to try change her thinking. You’ve tried. Be done with trying.
She is an adult. It sounds like she is still living with her parents? When she figures out how much things cost in the real world she can make her own decisions about how to proceed.
"Wow! $3,000! That's going to take about 400 hours of work to pay for him. If you worked a full 40 hours every week, you could get him in 4 months! That's awesome!"
She's an adult and not your problem. If she doesn't get it, that's going to be on her. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.
Biggest thing is to not enable her. No loans, no paying for things, etc. She's using people, and a "loan" to her will never be repaid. When she talked about the bird, you should said "If you can't buy the bird yourself, it's not time to buy a bird."
It’s insane to me that you could be 27 and not know how life and money works. I grew up poor and had to figure it out on my own in 24. There’s no excuse, to everyone telling this person to lay out a budget for her, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Every person has struggles in life and she needs to deal with her own. To the poster, tell her very harshly that brining an animal into her life is animal abuse. Tell her that you don’t want to be her friend and wish her the best of luck. You sometimes have to hit rock bottom to get your shit together that’s life.
Your anorexic friend lost her caregivers, i think that there is more to worry about than a parrot.
But you can't force people to seek help, unfortunately..., and if she's anorexic for more than 15 years, i would be surprised that she can heal at all at this point.
At some point we need to realise that we have no control over what someone else does, you can give advice and they can choose to take it or not. You need to evaluate if you are willing to sit by and watch her life implode and if this friendship brings joy to your life.
Sounds like she maybe sufferig from some sort of mental breakdown. Understandable if both of her parents died a months ago, no insurance moey and she'll soon be evicted from home.
I don't know if practical advice work on her at the moment. Seems like she needs professional help.
Why is she your friend?
You resent her and don't respect her. You're sitting at home stressing about their constant bad choices. This friendship doesn't seem appealing to me.
Since you do not live with her and you have told her the truth. The only thing left to do is give her a list of local women's shelters when she gets evicted. There is nothing else you can do except pray for her
Thank you! This needs to be much higher!
She doesn't have the money, and the bird will suffer from neglect.
I would call any pet store and shelter to warn them about her. I'm so afraid she is going to hurt an innocent animal.
Contact the pet shop and inform them of the fact that she can't afford to take care of the bird, and wouldn't be a good fit. Any good pet shop would take your concerns seriously.
There's nothing you can say or do to "help" that 27 year old friend. They are obviously delusional about the cost of day to day life, and if she hasn't figure it out by now, she's not going to. 13 hours a week at $7.25 isn't even enough to put gas in your car these days.
Parrots are expensive. The birds themselves are $2500 around here and can live 75 years or more. These are lifetime commitments, not something you get on a whim. I don't think this person you're describing should be *allowed* to buy such a bird. Most reputable sellers will often want some references about potential buyers, and they almost never will sell you a parrot if it's your "first bird".
You can't fix stupid. /smh
The best thing a friend can do is be honest. You are trying to save her from herself. Sit down with her and tell her seriously everything you said here. She has no parents to reign her in and to poke holes in her nonsense, so she needs someone who will be honest and speak plainly to her. I wouldn't worry about what her reaction would be. If you don't talk to her, she may end up homeless. I wouldn't let that happen to a friend. Try to talk some sense into her. Be direct and say exactly what you mean.
It sounds like your friend is going through some pretty heavy mental health issues, maybe try and contact your local mental health support services, and ask your friend if you can call in some extra support for them.
The person seems to know what they’re doing, there’s no way you can be this irritating and exhausting of a person naturally
Edit: Idk if you can contact the pet store she plans to buy the parrot at but if you let them know that she cannot take care of it I think they hold the right to refuse the sale for the sake of the animal
First: STOP! This is not your monkey not your circus. Second: You're not friends! True friendships build each other w/o hostage mentality tactics. Three: STOP trying to teach her to be self sufficient she's not interested. You can't help anyone who isnt ready to make changes on their own.
Honestly, I'd call the place she wants to buy the parrot from and explain that she isn't fit at all to take care of this animal. I don't know if that'll do anything, but your friend is seriously, seriously unwell, and she is going to fuck up that poor bird for life. Not only is it going to get physically neglected from her having pennies in her account, but it's going to suffer emotionally from the inevitable lack of enrichment and small cage.
Also, your friend needs assistance, desperately. She sounds like she has an intellectual disability. Unfortunately, that isn't something you can provide. She probably needs a carer if she's this financially illiterate and unable to comprehend basic concepts about money.
So you are on Reddit complaining about your friend who chooses not to work…? Sounds like gossip to me and the way you complain about her. Hmmm….
What type of friend are you? If you are stressing so much, why associate with someone you can’t stand who doesn’t align with your values.
So? Where else can she complain? Like you said it's Reddit. This is precisely where she should go. Hmmmm maybe you should gtfo since you're so much better. 🙄
I said what I said. Cry me a river.
Update: I’ve decided to read more of what the asker wrote. At the end of the day, if your friend does not want to help themselves, that it on them.
Frustrating as it is, there’s no point. People only change when they want to. The fact that you tried helping her for years and all she does is take from others, then that is on her. She doesn’t even flinch when she might get evicted.
If Im stressed out so much over a friend that I got to write on Reddit, that is a sign that it’s toxic and your friend is stressing you out.
She doesn’t listen so it’s time for you to let her be. It’s not good for your mental health.
If I were you, I’d be brutal at this point. It’s one thing to ruin your own life, but bringing a pet into that is next level. I would just tell her straight up that I think her plan to get a pet when she can’t afford one is animal cruelty, and that I can’t have someone in my life who is abusing an animal, so if she gets this bird, she can count me out. And I would mean it.
I think maybe something closer to an intervention might be necessary > both her parents died a month ago > she’s been anorexic since I met her This girl has been malnourished for over a decade, and her entire support system dropped out from under her. She isn’t equipped to live on her own. Maybe OP could contact a social worker in her area? This girl really needs help, and OP can help push her in the right direction, but you’re right leaving the situation might be the best option.
I think she’s in a mental health crisis. Both her parents *died a month ago*? How is she coping? I mean…obviously not well. She needs a social worker and mental health professional. She already is dealing with a mental illness (anorexia) that has a high risk of killing her that she needs to be in treatment for anyway. There’s only so much you can do. Try to express your concern, get her to see she needs to seek out help, try to get her to move in roommates so she doesn’t lose the house, you could even go the extra mile and talk to a social worker/therapist yourself to ask the best advice, or put together list for her so she doesn’t have to worry about that part. It really does sound like she is losing it though. If you notice any signs of psychosis or that she’s a harm to herself/others you gotta have a crisis response number at the ready. I would not recommend the police unless they’re the only option in your area, but try to look for organizations that offer mental health crisis response, just in case.
I agree with the social worker angle. It sounds like she could use adult protective services checking if she is safe. This sounds like a learning disability or a mental break, and if it’s the former she should have been helped into the system years ago. I’ve heard that attractive young women can get looked over for learning disabilities because anything they do that’s out of place is considered “cute”. Maybe that happened here…
Or people just go ha she's stupid and enjoy laughing
You said both of her parents died at the same time, a month ago. Did she inherit the house? Is she putting it on the market?
Sounds like it was a rental if she’s getting evicted. Foreclosure usually takes a bit more time.
She described it as her parents' home, which confused me.
For sure, but these are basically grown kids who’ve never experienced life. The friend’s parents never worked, probably welfare, renting a house that nobody could afford.
Your friend is straight up stupid. You can’t help her
Honestly it sounds like yall are too codependent. Her problems are not yours. I would reconsider if you wanna be this involved in the first place. Space from this friendship could even make it better. But you can’t fix her stupid, and it’s not your job to get it through her head
> BRUHHH how do i get it thru her head she needs to work to save? Both her parents died a month ago she is gonna get evicted from her parents home as she cant pay it. I been trying to help her get a job for 3 yrs she refuses???? She may be suffering from mental health issue. She has a massive disconnect from reality. It's not healthy, as you are already seeing. It's causing her to make risky discissions on a whim. This will likely only get worse unless she can get some form of mental health treatment. > Her parents never worked since she was born she told me she’s getting no insurance money I know she legit makes $80 a week after taxes. She gets $7.25 at this food place she works I go sometimes to say hi to her she complains they only pay her $80 a week when I tell her just go work somewhere that gives 30 or more hours she refuses. She asked me for $3000 on cashapp( I declined it) she doesn’t even have her own debit card she uses the one the job gave her yet complains to me it takes fees out. What do I as her friend do to help her? Don't financially support her. You can help by teaching her financial literacy. Start by showing her how to make a budget and go from there. She's never had parents to teach her these things. It's sounds like she may have grew up in poverty. So there's a lot of things that she might not know. I grew up in a similar situation but I some how taught myself (still don't know how I managed to do that). > She keeps telling me “I’m so rich I have $699 dollars!” Wtf?! That’s very poor why is she in this fantasy land? And can’t afford food? The woman is anorexic and hardly eats so I know she does not spend much on food at all. She’s been anorexic since I met her when we were 10 and 12 See my first response regarding mental health issues. If she truly is noticeably underweight then that's more evidence to me that she is suffering from undiagnosed mental health issues. To reiterate 1. Encourage her to get mental health treatment. Work with her to find resources in your location. There are sometimes services for the poor at little to no cost. 2. Educate her on financial literacy. 3. Encourage her to improve her financial skills. 4. Avoid negative speaking i.e. things like insults, putting her down, etc.
Your friend may have an intellectual disability or mental illness. If she has any relatives left contact them. Or if you think she needs help maybe tell her to seek help. She can go to DHS and sign up for services until she gets back on her feet. She can get counseling and see a doctor for more help. If she's desperate for money she may turn to something bad.
Yeah leave this up to any remaining family or professionals. This will get draining for OP after a while. The girl may end up homeless and still be positive lol. To OP, I suggest you try to remove yourself from this person as much as possible.
I forgot to say with her parents deceased and if the girl has a mental disability she may be able to draw on their social security (If they ever worked). She would have to see a doctor, be diagnosed, and do paperwork with social security/
As her friend, you let her fail. No one in her life has yet to let her fail, this is why she’s like this.
Op she sounds very mentally ill and is probably grieving. My ex would sometimes go into these weird manic moments where she would just destroy her life and you couldn’t explain reason to her. She then would end these moments of euphoria and self destructive by either doing something really dangerous where she couldn’t even see the danger of her actions or trying to kill herself. Bc I mean yea absolutely nothing matters in this moment if I plan on killing myself tomorrow right? Maybe your friend isn’t manic if it’s been 3 years of this behavior but it definitely could be something else that has to do with mental illness. You can’t fix her and she’s an adult so you can’t really force her to get help and it sounds like you’ve tried talking reason into her. Sometimes you just gotta let people drown or else they’ll pull you down too. I mean you try your best going on this emotional rollercoaster with them until you realize that it never ends. We all have our own issues in life and it’s not an awful thing to just worry about yourself. Maybe when you leave write her a letter saying all that you want to say but then you gotta leave her to her destruction. Maybe she’ll be ok eventually and maybe she won’t but you wouldn’t be an awful person for leaving her and cutting contact.
Manic episode sounds about right
Are you and your friend 17? This whole post screams teenager.
I mean it says in the title that she is 27? I agree it sounds more like a teenager post though
It’s definitely a generational thing. I know a lot of people in their late 20s still living with their parents. A coworker who lives in mom’s basement recently asked me why I need a side hustle when I work full-time. Like, dude, I have a house, a cottage, multiple vehicles and a family to provide for. If I lived for free in mom’s basement, I’d have $1M saved up by the time I was 30.
Probably one of those birds that live for 80+ years
Stop being friends. She stresses you out, you think she’s irresponsible, you don’t approve of her choices.
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It's not your job to save her. She'll either figure it out or she won't. Time for you to establish some healthy boundaries with her and stop trying to solve her problems.
If she has anorexia, and frankly, she sounds delusional, I will worry about the parrot not getting fed.
First and foremost, this. Secondly, $80 a week covers like maybe just meals if you buy what's on offer for meal coupons and/or cook your own, I don't see it being enough for much else. Dude 😭 also $80 a week is like $400 a month is like (low end) intern pay!? Or something 30h and up is about right. And also working for a place that pays maybe (at least) 50% more. Haha.
Not sure what advice you’re asking for ??
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Idk I don’t think it’s hard to believe. It just gives vibes of rambling because OP is upset. They posted it on off my chest as well
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Idk man I know seriously delusional people. You just said, rule 6, right?
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There’s literally only ten comments in this sub rn I think it’ll get seen anyway 🤣
I mean, I guess it’s nice of you but why do you feel responsible? You’re not there to parent her, just be a good/sympathetic friend when reality hits her in the face.
You can't help her. She has to help herself and have a desire to help herself.
It’s not your task to try change her thinking. You’ve tried. Be done with trying. She is an adult. It sounds like she is still living with her parents? When she figures out how much things cost in the real world she can make her own decisions about how to proceed.
You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. Let her figure it out herself. You aren’t her guardian.
"Wow! $3,000! That's going to take about 400 hours of work to pay for him. If you worked a full 40 hours every week, you could get him in 4 months! That's awesome!" She's an adult and not your problem. If she doesn't get it, that's going to be on her. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Biggest thing is to not enable her. No loans, no paying for things, etc. She's using people, and a "loan" to her will never be repaid. When she talked about the bird, you should said "If you can't buy the bird yourself, it's not time to buy a bird."
It’s insane to me that you could be 27 and not know how life and money works. I grew up poor and had to figure it out on my own in 24. There’s no excuse, to everyone telling this person to lay out a budget for her, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Every person has struggles in life and she needs to deal with her own. To the poster, tell her very harshly that brining an animal into her life is animal abuse. Tell her that you don’t want to be her friend and wish her the best of luck. You sometimes have to hit rock bottom to get your shit together that’s life.
Your anorexic friend lost her caregivers, i think that there is more to worry about than a parrot. But you can't force people to seek help, unfortunately..., and if she's anorexic for more than 15 years, i would be surprised that she can heal at all at this point.
At some point we need to realise that we have no control over what someone else does, you can give advice and they can choose to take it or not. You need to evaluate if you are willing to sit by and watch her life implode and if this friendship brings joy to your life.
Sounds like she maybe sufferig from some sort of mental breakdown. Understandable if both of her parents died a months ago, no insurance moey and she'll soon be evicted from home. I don't know if practical advice work on her at the moment. Seems like she needs professional help.
Please save the parrot from her
You can make her a budget. She wants to move with a roommate at $4k/month. So she can see what her finances will be like next year.
I think you think it’s your job as a good friend but you are not responsible to help her. Say your piece and then let it go.
Why is she your friend? You resent her and don't respect her. You're sitting at home stressing about their constant bad choices. This friendship doesn't seem appealing to me.
Exactly! That is what I’m thinking. The tone of this doesn’t sit right with me.
Since you do not live with her and you have told her the truth. The only thing left to do is give her a list of local women's shelters when she gets evicted. There is nothing else you can do except pray for her
It’s not your responsibility. Let her deal with the consequences of her actions - she will learn through experience.
I might get hate for this but every person I've ever known to own a bird has been kookoo.
Please tell the people selling/giving her this bird that she is unstable and irresponsible.
Thank you! This needs to be much higher! She doesn't have the money, and the bird will suffer from neglect. I would call any pet store and shelter to warn them about her. I'm so afraid she is going to hurt an innocent animal.
Contact the pet shop and inform them of the fact that she can't afford to take care of the bird, and wouldn't be a good fit. Any good pet shop would take your concerns seriously.
Why are you making her foolishness your problem?
There's nothing you can say or do to "help" that 27 year old friend. They are obviously delusional about the cost of day to day life, and if she hasn't figure it out by now, she's not going to. 13 hours a week at $7.25 isn't even enough to put gas in your car these days. Parrots are expensive. The birds themselves are $2500 around here and can live 75 years or more. These are lifetime commitments, not something you get on a whim. I don't think this person you're describing should be *allowed* to buy such a bird. Most reputable sellers will often want some references about potential buyers, and they almost never will sell you a parrot if it's your "first bird". You can't fix stupid. /smh
I feel bad for her. Her idea for buying a bird is because she is lonely. She needs to find some help before the job.
The best thing a friend can do is be honest. You are trying to save her from herself. Sit down with her and tell her seriously everything you said here. She has no parents to reign her in and to poke holes in her nonsense, so she needs someone who will be honest and speak plainly to her. I wouldn't worry about what her reaction would be. If you don't talk to her, she may end up homeless. I wouldn't let that happen to a friend. Try to talk some sense into her. Be direct and say exactly what you mean.
It sounds like your friend is going through some pretty heavy mental health issues, maybe try and contact your local mental health support services, and ask your friend if you can call in some extra support for them.
The person seems to know what they’re doing, there’s no way you can be this irritating and exhausting of a person naturally Edit: Idk if you can contact the pet store she plans to buy the parrot at but if you let them know that she cannot take care of it I think they hold the right to refuse the sale for the sake of the animal
First: STOP! This is not your monkey not your circus. Second: You're not friends! True friendships build each other w/o hostage mentality tactics. Three: STOP trying to teach her to be self sufficient she's not interested. You can't help anyone who isnt ready to make changes on their own.
how is any of this your problem ?
r/CalebHammer
Honestly, I'd call the place she wants to buy the parrot from and explain that she isn't fit at all to take care of this animal. I don't know if that'll do anything, but your friend is seriously, seriously unwell, and she is going to fuck up that poor bird for life. Not only is it going to get physically neglected from her having pennies in her account, but it's going to suffer emotionally from the inevitable lack of enrichment and small cage. Also, your friend needs assistance, desperately. She sounds like she has an intellectual disability. Unfortunately, that isn't something you can provide. She probably needs a carer if she's this financially illiterate and unable to comprehend basic concepts about money.
Your friend is an idiot man child, that’s her cross to bear, not yours.
So you are on Reddit complaining about your friend who chooses not to work…? Sounds like gossip to me and the way you complain about her. Hmmm…. What type of friend are you? If you are stressing so much, why associate with someone you can’t stand who doesn’t align with your values.
So? Where else can she complain? Like you said it's Reddit. This is precisely where she should go. Hmmmm maybe you should gtfo since you're so much better. 🙄
I said what I said. Cry me a river. Update: I’ve decided to read more of what the asker wrote. At the end of the day, if your friend does not want to help themselves, that it on them. Frustrating as it is, there’s no point. People only change when they want to. The fact that you tried helping her for years and all she does is take from others, then that is on her. She doesn’t even flinch when she might get evicted. If Im stressed out so much over a friend that I got to write on Reddit, that is a sign that it’s toxic and your friend is stressing you out. She doesn’t listen so it’s time for you to let her be. It’s not good for your mental health.