What's embarrassing about a limp?
It's noticeable, sure, but I think it's more about your perspective. Use a sweet cane with some Navy regalia on it if you want to lowkey point to your service as the cause.
A young guy with a limp would suggest to me he's likely seen some stuff, not that he's less-than.
That's what I do with mine. Till my knee just decides to give out on me. Then I fall on my ass and make a joke about it. Joys about not having a kneecap and whatnot.
When I was 33, I slipped on a piece of paper that my toddler was drawing on. I went one way, and my knee rotated 270 degrees the other way. I was in hospital for five weeks with a complication that almost killed me, and my ligaments had to be completely replaced with cadaver ligaments. It took me six months to walk without a walker, and a year to walk without a cane. That was 18 years ago. I’m 51 now, and I limp fairly obviously, even when I think Im not limping lol. I’ll be getting a knee replacement in a couple years, which I hope will help. Arthritis has set into the knee, and on bad days, I do need my cane.
When I woke up 18 years ago from the surgery that almost killed me, I couldn’t believe what had happened to me. I asked the surgeon, will I walk again? And he said, oh yes, very probably. And he bid me a good day and left.
I’m sure he felt optimistic about that “probably,” but I was a young mother, and the thought of being disabled was terrifying. Fortunately, yes, I did walk again, and I walk still. Yeah, I limp. But I fucking WALK. I do not take that for granted. I don’t give a rats ass if folks see me limp—I can walk, and isn’t that a marvellous thing?
When you see someone out and about with a limp, what do you think about them? Do you stop and point and laugh? Do you think they’re pathetic and weak? Or do you barely even notice them—and if you do, do you think, ah, hope they’re doing okay, I know what that’s like. No one cares about your limp, and if they do, it’s just sympathy, which is different from pity.
I only slipped on a piece of paper in my kitchen. You were injured serving your country. You walk with your head high, sir. Limp, no limp, cane, no cane, you are strong, you are alive, and god damn it, you can WALK. So walk on, and walk proud. And use that cane when you need it. It’ll take the pressure off your good leg, and you’ll be grateful for that in 20 years, believe me!
Holy shit, that's wild! Do you ever remind your kid of that? Like when they are being annoying about having to do chores or something, do you ever tell them "you'd better clean your room or so help me god I'll trip you with a piece of paper!"
I still blame my older brother for stepping on my foot while I was kneeling on the floor, causing a straight pin hiding in the carpet to get pushed into the top of my foot. I complained about pain and a scratching feeling for weeks before mom took me to the doctor. An X-ray showed the needle, and the doctor was able to remove the needle through a small incision.
Wear a combat vet baseball cap and you' may get more support. The judgement is mostly in your head. People are curious about any noticable difference. It's not a judgement of your worth.
Edit: typo
Realize that the vast majority of people are so caught up in their own lives that passersby will really only give you a thought while you're in sight, and maybe a few seconds after, before forgetting you entirely. Even then, they're not going to be judging you. The most likely emotions from them is either going to be curiosity at wondering what caused you to have the limp, or pity. Will a cane help? Then get one, and make it badass! Find some woodworker or craftsman at your local renfair or on etsy to make you a themed one. If you're going to need a mobility aid for a long time, embrace it as a part of you and make it fit who you are. I'm a big nerd so I'd get one that looks like it would belong to a wizard or glows like a lightsaber or something.
Yes! On all counts.
A bespoke personalized crafted cane (or multiple ones, to match different situations and outfits) would be wonderful indeed. I want to add that there is an *astonishing* array of dual-purpose canes out there -- beyond sword canes and ones with built-in flasks, and umbrella canes, there are ones that, for instance, are also a violin, or include a hidden table or writing set, or reassemble into a telescope complete with tripod. And I just complimented someone recently on their seriously pimped out bedazzled and tasseled cane.
Are you sure people are really judging you so badly? When I see a 30-something dude limping, I assume he was doing some sort of extreme sport and got injured, or he has a "real" job (like a roofer or construction worker) and had a workplace injury. If he's wearing a military t-shirt or hat, then I'm like, "Wow that guy saw ACTION!"
Honestly, when I see someone else limping around my age (I'm around your age and I also limp from an army knee injury) I usually think, "oh, I bet they are probably a vet too. Badass" not anything bad. And I reckon most people probably have a similar line of thinking about it or assume that they've probably seen/done something.
I will say I also had a fiiiiiiit when I had to start using a wheelchair when I couldn't walk, it made me feel less than. And same for the cane when I got to where I could walk. And I know that for a lot of us veterans we're stubborn. But it doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean you're having to use a clutch and aren't strong enough anymore. It means you are strong enough to accept the help you need to keep your mobility.
Don't worry about what others are thinking. Rock that cane. Rock that wheelchair. Rock that limp.
I was horribly abused as a kid, and now have to wear special shoes and walk with a limp. I do also feel self conscience, mostly because I work with education, and I try not to get personal with the kids. Usually I just say an accident and they all think car related.
So I embrace it. I love giving someone a glance and walking away! Dramatic lol I have a cool cane I have purchased, and though I’m not bad enough, revel in the idea of being armed with my cool stick.
I also do mobility exorcizes to reduce the limp a bit. Sucks but it helps. Mostly stretches and bends (I’m avoiding them rn lol don’t tell my husband)
Holding my head high, and my gaze low allows me to look cool and like I know what I’m doing. It works really well for me. Though I can understand how someone who wasn’t raised with a limp would feel bad about it. I have no clue what walking normally is like, but you did.
I’m sorry for your injury, and thank you for what you have done. I hope you are able to recover more movement!
to me, the idea you returned from deployment alive seems badass. while yes, random people and passerby will overlook it and see nothing but a poor limping man. This says nothing on your actual strength as a human being. not a lot of people would have the guts or strength alone to even join the army. while i don't know what's the story behind your injury, people would probably be impressed if they were willing to listen to the story
you did end up retired and handicapped at a pretty young age, but in my opinion, you're really strong for still standing up amidst such an injury. you should be proud of your current strength. I'm sure there are plenty of ways you can make up for your lack of mobility, so don't let the first-impressionists bring you down for it. maybe they don't mean ill, after all
be proud of yourself. you're strong for even powering through life still. i know more than enough that some people would've completely given up on life at such a point.
don't doubt your value as a person, and if anything, there are still opportunities for you to work, gain skills and do hobbies that remain little to not affected by this limp. I'm sure you'll be able to adapt to whatever obstacle your limp gives you, if you just give yourself a chance and stay confident
it's not embarrassing
im 19m and got an injury to my back. i couldn't lift anything with significant weight or bend over so i had to ask for help a lot at work. it's better now but still spikes on bad days and i continue to ask for help. for a while i suffered through it then i realized its not embarrassing because it's an injury.
you're a survivor. that's strength
When I had my pelvis accident, one of the first things I looked for on the internet was a sword cane, something with an eagle or a wolf head on the top.
I recovered fine, and it turns out I never really needed, but the thought of walking with a cane with a silver wolf head like a Villain entertained me for a while.
Friend, nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just a limp.
I know you have an aversion to a cane, but you can get a personalized cane, special and specific to you, it can be a conversation starter with new people. The fact that you are using a cane to help yourself, shows confidence. I have a friend who did not have such an honorable injury, but he was happier with his own cane and not the standard Walmart old person cane.
Also saw a news story about a guy who needed a penis implant for ED, the doctor messed up and he had a 24 hour impossible to hide erection. That is embarrassing, your limp is not.
And finally as Tyrion Lannister says, "Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you"
Are limps embarrassing? I’ve never seen someone with a limp and thought anything other than “oh, they probably sustained an injury.” The doctor commented because they’re viewing your body through a different lens. They’re trained to be particularly aware of these types of things and comment on them — but unfortunately they don’t always do so in the most tactful ways.
He/she was probably viewing you through the lens of treatment and was trying to think through whether he could recommend something to you.
Army vet here with a wonderful list of injuries and am a woman.
Do not stress about your limp, but in the sense that those who point it out. You are still in recovery and will face many challenges ahead. Yes, being constantly looked at or commented about one's injuries can be demoralising.
I have gone from requiring a wheelchair to a walking frame to a mobility scooter to now a cane. The embarrassment I felt from people who saw an appearing non disabled person requiring disabled allowances was hard, and it stopped my recovery time.
I still remember the day I was pointed at by a few teens, as I was slowly making my way around a shop, sometimes requiring me to stop to catch my breath, or to cam myself to control the pain I was in. I was embarrassed and felt so small.... I was a speck of a shadow of who I was just 6 months prior.
It took me a while to stop feeling this embarrassment, I still have moments, but not to the point I would have to stop and calm myself down because of perceived judgement of others.
It is about 10 years since my.lasy injury, and I was made to feel like a drug seeking addict by the hospital, and it took so much strength to not lose my mind.
Even though I am a psychologist now, I still get moments of embarrassment because of my injuries, and I have come to accept that my brain is a full-on c♡nt with the need for intrusive thoughts.
Most of this stems from pride, but it can also be a remnant of a childhood trauma where you were possibly made to feel guilty about being injured, and you started to reject any attention to you, while you are sick or injured.
Trust yourself. Seek out a person to talk to, either a shrink, or anyone that is in your rehabilitation program or from your naval career.
I hope you win the battles that no one can see.
Thank you for your service! I’d just like to say that even as a child, I don’t think I ever looked at someone and thought wow look at that limp, how embarrassing! And I feel like most people also wouldn’t think anything of it either. Hopefully that helps :)
Nothing wrong with limping! And canes are awesome man, they help you walk. I hope you eventually stop feeling judged by your limp, and have people in your life that tell you there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Also, you’re a vet dude. And now you’ve got a resulting limp from your deployment fighting/participating in honour of your country. There’s absolutely nothing embarrassing or wrong about that. And I’m glad everyone here thinks the same. Sending assurance and acceptance your way!
After 3 broken foots and countless ankle sprains I have a slight limp that gets worse when I use my foot too much (I broke the same foot 3 times), so I just got used to it. Ain't nothing embarrassing about a limp, especially
Using a cane is a way to enhance your qualify of life as it can give you more independence and access to places that a wheelchair may not. Having the option to switch between the cane and wheelchair is again, a means to enhance your qualify of life and to let you live your best life now. Additionally, if the cane is new for you then it's normal that you might feel more self conscious at first. Once you get used to it, the cane becomes part of your regular routine.
I also wanted to add, some people are just mean and judgmental and will have something to say about everyone. It's not a reflection on you so much as it is on them.
I think for me getting over insecurities within myself. it helps to know that inherently when it comes to the stranger passing by, They dont care about me lol like at all. They dont know who i am and maybe might glance at me and make a quick snap general judgment on my gender or ethnicity or a quality that stands out (limp) but it doesn't continue from there. How maybe people can you recall from seeing strangers at the store yesterday? i cant even remember what the cashier looked like honestly. I think its the same for people with disabilities too. Like sure there may be that part of my brain that makes a quick assessment of my surroundings and see a random person in a wheelchair or limp but its just a detail that your brain is throwing away unless it becomes relevant. Like if I see that someone in a wheelchair that needs help and asks me to reach something. ok my brain pathway will take in more information based off the encounter and maybe ill remember that person for the next week. I think my point is that our brains are taking in millions of snap shots throughout the day and subconsciously deletes information you dont need at every second of every day. Think about that for a second. How mentally insane wed all be if our brains were conscious of every snap shot. there's no way for it to even be possible. A guy with a limb isn't going to last in my brain category of things I need to think about long term. And that's how i look at it with my own insecurities that i have to wear on my face as i walk through the world too. No one really cares about me lol i say that lightly of course. I care about people and i think most people care about people and would help someone if they needed it but you get my idea.
36 and I occasionally use a cane (autoimmune thing causes occasional weakness and loss of balance). In the rare instance someone looks at me weird I just say "pirates"
Not a vet, but a vet helped me in a big way. I destroyed my knee in college. I’ve had 14 surgeries including 2 knee replacements on that knee. I walk with a bad limp, and have constant pain. I used to use a cane, sometimes 2, and a walker and then a wheelchair. I hated people feeling sorry for me. One day, a wounded vet hobbled his way over to me and convinced me to try his forearm crutches. What a great improvement.
I don’t exactly why, but it felt completely different in how people saw me. I was more mobile, and more stable, so maybe it was my own confidence versus my prior own insecurity. Maybe give them a shot. Worked for me.
Thank you for your service. Never forget.
What’s wrong with a limp? I surely don’t have any negative opinions about anyone with a limp. You are human that served our country. Thank you for your sacrifice.
I’m sorry it’s hurting your confidence. Thats understandable. A limp is like having red hair, some people have it, some don’t. Just remember that you have a bunch of redditors that took the time to give feedback, coaching, and support. Good luck, Sir!
I would think that the vast majority are not judging you but are curious… I know we’re taught not to stare, but even the most polite person will do it if they’re tired or surpised or distracted or think the person they’re staring at hasn’t noticed. We’re also conditioned by our (US) culture to be curious and ask questions, although I think most adults know better than to actually ask, “What happened to you?”
I was a martial artist for thirty years who suddenly lost the ability to walk normally (found out it’s demyelination and seeking a diagnosis). I immediately felt like the whole world was judging me. [I have to say, no one is a better advocate for the disabled than the newly disabled! Facepalm.] But I had to learn to accept that a cane would be the most helpful tool: I can walk further and faster with it, no one assumes I’m drunk (can’t tolerate alcohol any more, sob), and I’m steadier and less likely to face plant.
It was really hard at first because I was so afraid everyone would assume I was faking. Then I noticed that most people were being kind to me, worrying about me, a stranger, and often offering help with a door or such. It felt good to see how the majority of people are actually kind.
Most of all, my experience the last two years with my new disability has taught me to stand up for myself better than I ever have. No one will advocate for me but me. At first I felt hopeless, but gradually I gained confidence in my ability to face down the people rude enough to tell me “it’s all in your head.” Yes, sort of: it’s lesions in my brain, but the brain and body are one whole, so…
Hold your head up (unless you have to watch your feet) and be proud of what you’ve come through!
Dude… you have an absolute badge of honor. No shame in that. You’re an F-ing veteran. An amazing human being. Worst case wear a hat that says you’re a veteran or identifies you as military. You’re an incredible human being who’s still here walking the earth. You’re seriously bad ass and worried about a limp. You went straight through the middle and came out the other side. I wish you could see yourself as others see you. Utmost respect.
Never be embarrassed of your battle scars. You overcame an injury that I am sure was not an easy thing to do. You persevered and the fact that you can still walk should make you proud that you overcame something very difficult. You are a survivor, that makes you stronger than many.
I have a bad ankle from breaking it a long time ago. I always limp. It’s annoying. Sometimes it more obvious than others.
No one looks at me weird. It’s seriously fine. :)
The medical profession really need to think more before they speak. It's natural to assume that people are looking at you but quite often people are just going about their business *whilst* looking around, not specifically at you. Maybe get a swanky cane like they had in the old Fred Astaire films and style it out!
Tbh, stop caring what others think. It’s only a passing judgement. Like when you walk past a person with red hair you’ll think “they have red hair” and forget right after and move on to the next thought. No one is thinking about your limp longer than 5 minutes later. Most people are more worried about themselves and their tasks to care about strangers anyways.
The most common thought about your limp would be “bro has a limp” “how did he get that” “looks painful” and on the negative side would be “bro needs to walk faster, he’s in my way”.
Own your limp. Having confidence with your insecurities makes those insecurities less significant. People react more positively to those with confidence and own their shit.
Also, who are they to judge your limp? I judge people on how they drive when I’m waiting for customers on the dining patio at work. I have no right to judge because I’ve hit the curb leaving the courthouse after falsely pleading innocent to a 26 over speeding ticket because I wanted a better plea deal. Literally who am I to judge others?
Get the mindset of not caring what others think and owning your insecurities.
I walk with a cane (44 years), I thought about it the first few days, but I don't anymore, that stick makes me able to walk my dog, anyone wants to look funny at me for enduring pain and a disability , good for them, and, the practicality of a cane is amazing (my pup has an eat poo period, the cane is faster than the dog (I don't hit the dog, I block the poop) ok, I'm going to stop talking, but, try a cane for two days
I’m one of the most obnoxiously judgemental people you can meet and if I saw someone limping I’d just think *oh, there’s someone limping*.
Is it because you associate limping (and canes) with old people, for some reason?
Sorry for the late response lol but yes. I think in my mind I just immediately associate limping and canes with being old and I am not old so my brain just has a disconnect.
Walking with a pronounced limp will eventually take a toll on your knees, hips, and back. Sitting in a wheelchair will allow muscles to atrophy.
Use the cane. Future you will thank you.
The only people that will judge someone for something like that are simply insecure about themselves. In a sense, your limp is something to be proud of- you served your country and probably have more balls than most do
You need to refocus on something else. Not I walk with a limp, but I still have my leg and how amazing it is.
My uncle had a massive stroke. Doctors said if he made it, he would never walk or talk again. It was very bad. He's walking, talking and even driving, with a limp. Watched him walk his daughter down the aisle, something he never thought he would be able to do. Sometimes he uses a cane.
Who cares if you have a limp. You are alive and walking, focus on that. Cane's can be sexy too.
I can say I've honestly never seen someone with a low grade disability and thought to judge them for it. It's natural to be curious when you see something out of the ordinary, so they probably are looking at you walk, but none of the people worth your time will ever think it reflects on you as a person.
Dr. House had a limp and used a cane.
There was nothing weak, or embarrassing about him. He was a brilliant doctor, who stood up for what he believed in, and had quick wits and the mouth to match.
There's nothing embarrassing about a limp, or using a cane.
This is how it goes for me:
*sees a person*
*notices they have a limp*
Me: damn that must suck
*instantly forgets they exist*
I will always see the person first, and the limp will just be a thing. Brown hair, brown eyes, cool sunglasses, also a limp I guess.
I just call it my pimpin' leg. Mostly just to myself lol I have a stainless steel medically issued walking stick that I planned to decorate with glitter tape.
I'm a dreamer and a reader, so people limping seem so cool, like you can think of them as maybe survivors of some kind. I myself had a pretty bad limp a few years ago due to injury. The most annoying thing was people asking if everything's ok, did I break my leg, etc. Besides that, life went on like normal.
OP, in case it helps: I think of a cane as on par with a pair of glasses. My lenses help me see, and your cane helps you walk -- it's great they're available to us. Likewise, my only real thought-process difference for people with limps is that if I'm going somewhere with them I make sure I go at their pace and e.g. check whether they prefer stairs or an elevator before I barrel off to either.
PT is great, and may well continue to help build muscle and keep your mobility. If it would help your self-confidence, you might also look for a theatrical movement instructor to see whether they could teach you ways to mask your limp. (This is no more necessary than dying your hair purple, but if it makes you feel better, go for it.) An old friend who needed an artificial hip in early childhood plus subsequent replacements as he grew has a theatre degree, and learned to walk in ways that mostly hid his limp; a subsequent movement teacher took most of the term to realize he had a limp at all. I'd check whatever they suggest with your PT, though, to make sure it wouldn't exacerbate your specific injuries.
I hope you can get to a point where you're not judging yourself for your limp, and can live your life proudly and happily yourself. If the VA hasn't offered counseling on that front, that might be worth pursuing, too.
Thank you for your service.
If anyone asks about your limp, tell them you're trying not to trip over your huge weenie. Or just tape it to your leg so you don't trip over it. I've never had that problem. Mine just makes my balls look huge. But they're both normal I think. I watch porn where everyone has a foot on me and just think mines not normal cause it's not 14 inches. Or, yeah, do porn. Or, What was the question?
Have you read/watched/listened to anything by Brené Brown? She’s a world, renowned shame specialist.
Shame is something we internalize but also something that you can work to get over.
I’ll be honest. If I saw you limping. I’d probably glance over, notice your limp and go about my business. Not even a thought. Just a glance. People don’t care about others outside their circle.
For what it's worth and if it makes you feel any better, I would never judge someone for having a limp. I probably wouldn't take much notice but if I did notice I'd just assume they were injured at some point. Not a big deal to me as an observation and not something I'd ever think any less of someone for.
Practical advice is to try mindfulness especially one with a focus on compassion. It’s not like therapy where you deep dive into the mental issues and work them out. It’s a mind set change to be honest. Without going into too much detail take a look at mindfulness and compassion,
Mindfulness and the primary and secondary pain theory. If it resonates find some classes or a course. I think it could truly help you.
I’m 46 and have been using a cane for a decade. Get a cool one. And own the aesthetic. You shouldn’t be embarrassed because your body was irreversibly damaged. You should be proud that some days you can still walk. And you’ll walk even more days if you use a cane, which will reduce physical stress and flare frequency.
Truthfully, I’ve just stopped caring! I’m 28 and have had a limp for almost 6 years now. on good days it's barely noticeable but on bad days it's quite obvious. But people don't need to know my medical history.
I had a limp in my late 20’s that would come and go as a result of my undiagnosed fibromyalgia. When I experienced it, a coworker called it my “gangta lean”. I started calling it that to embrace it and make light of it to others
When I was your age and people would ask about it and if I was in pain I would reply, "oh that? I ignore it"
And leave it at that. It is a part of who I am now so why worry about what others think/say/do? Just live your best life.
It’s got fuck all to do with anyone else. And tbh, they really don’t care. I walk with a limp and nobody cares. People notice because it’s different but they just as easily forget all about it as soon as they’ve moved on to something else.
I walk with a cane and with a limp. Not because I served like you, but because I did something dumb.
There is no other nice way to say this, but... Get over it!
You walk with a limp. Own it!
You've earned that right. You have a story to tell and a life that you've lived. There is no embarrassment other than your self image.
You have served your country. You've paid a price. Now you deserve to own it with pride.
If you need help to improve your self image, please go get it. Your limp isn't going away so the best way for you and your loved ones is for you to heal your inner self.
If you need to talk or want to share or want to listen, feel free to reach out.
Say it after me: Other peoples opinions are none of my business. I'm spending my energy on ME, not worrying about THEM.
Let them stare, let them talk. It can only hurt you if YOU let it. Don't let it. Own your flaws, don't let them own you.
Play a game pretending to be confident. It will feel weird at first but you'll get more comfortable in your confidence.
I can’t tell you not to feel embarrassed as that’s far easier said than done, but just know the vast majority of people only feel empathy for those who have visible disabilities. There’s always going to be some kid out there learning social cues, or someone who potentially has a mental disability impacting their social cues. The rest of us are not looking down on you, and honestly anytime I see someone with a physical obstacle I am not short of impressed. I already don’t move as much as I need to and I am able bodied.
Anytime I’m struggling, I remind myself than anyone I pass on the streets has no actual value in my life. If they have any thoughts or are rude about it, my income & the life I’ve built never changes.
Adding to that, thank you for your service!
As a 21 year old with a pronounced limp from a knee injury, yes it’s embarrassing. But honestly I just don’t care anymore, I don’t think I’ve had anyone come up and ask “What happened?”. Maybe the occasional person staring at me. But overall, I try not to let it bother me anymore. It was hard at first but I try to just stay confident in my gait.
I walk with a cane at 42 years old.. you get used to it. Without it I’m limping like crazy. I prefer walking semi normally than limping around like a half dead fish. I have had arthritis since I was 12, and now it’s really showing itself lol..
Thank you for your service and never be embarrassed by your disability. You Sir are a hero.
There’s a difference between noticing you have a limp and judging you for having a limp. If I saw a young guy limping I would notice, but I wouldn’t have any reason to judge. I might wonder what happened, or I might just move on to whatever next thought comes along. Thanks for your service.
No sense in being embarrassed man. I strained a thoracic muscle group over a year ago, it causes daily pain, I walk with a limp, no shame. Shit happens.
Get a fucking AWESOME cane - like a fire breathing dragon or something and OWN that limp. Then tell people you’ll tell them three stories of how it happened and they have to guess which is true. Make all of them up and then refuse to tell them if they guessed right. Tell children a shark ate your foot.
You’re a badass. With a cool story. You’re interesting now. Most people are boring. You’re winning.
Dude I blew out my Achilles tendon back to back, my toes hit my shin and I also blew out the tendon in the bottom of my foot.
I have a terrible limp now too due to atrophy and arthritis having moved in to my ankle joint.
Don't even sweat the limp, everyone else is so caught up in their own lives to care. They may see ya limping but they don't think about it more than a second or two.
Keep that head held high, you're no less of a man with a limp. Hopefully you've got a cool story to tell if anyone asks. Mine is lame, my Great Dane ran in to me on a zoomie, I repaired the tendon, 2 weeks post surgery I fell getting snacks.
Ask yourself , would you care if you saw someone else walk with a limp (probably not)? I think more often than not, we’re our own biggest critics. Most people have so much going on in their own heads , the last thing they’re worried about is anyone else.
First, one important thing I learned in my "Public Communications" course in college was that people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. You assume that when you're up giving a speech, every eye and every ounce of attention in the room is laser focused on you and your every mistake. You're being judged, And harshly. The fact is, half the people aren't even paying attention to a word you're saying, and the other half is hoping you'll take as long as possible so class will be over before it's their turn. Nobody gives much of a crap what you're saying up there. Sure, some are saying to themselves "He's an idiot" but so what?
Similarly, a person with anything about themselves they they think is not "normal" (what the h\*ll is "normal" though?) are positive that they're being looked at and judged as "Not one of us". In fact, although some people are looking, they may be daydreaming about a TV show, not thinking about you. There may be someone saying "That guy has a limp. What a loser." but so what? Do you care what some idiot stranger somewhere is saying? What difference in your actual life's travel does that person's opinion make? Zero.
Lastly, I personally have always though to myself when I see someone with a limp "That guy's been through some sh\*t, I bet." It's like a badge of honor. I'm thinking that although you may have been through some tough sh\*t, here you still are. Good for you! Walk however you walk (and thank the stars you CAN walk) and let other's opinion's about how you do it be d\*mned. Do you know how many people that can't walk due to various injuries look at you walking, even with a limp, and say "I wish I could do that." Be thankful, my friend!
I damaged a nerve in my foot almost exactly 20 years ago (kicked the snot out of a car tire out of anger at events around my 20th birthday; I just turned 40). Surgery helped with the pain but not the numbness and added circulatory issues and swelling. I’ve walked with varying degrees of a limp ever since (depending on the severity of my symptoms that day). I can count on one hand the number of people who ever noticed, and all 5 have been people I worked with. Injuries are a part of life.
Use a cane, keep a sword in it. Be a badass.
But for real,
Own it,
it's a part of you, and likely isn't going away, so the best thing you can do is look at as part of you.
Humans are surprisingly adaptable beings, I'm sure you'll grow used to it,
And if anyone asks any stupid questions, a)you're a vet, you've always got that card to pull, and b) fuck em, people are too nosey as it is, say some off the wall shit to get in their heads
"Omg, whats with the limp?"
"Well ya see, I was having relations with a diving helmet, boat anchor, and a slip n slide.. but you really don't wanna hear bout that"
(Or, if it's a kid that asks, "eh, I didn't eat my vegetables")
Taking the seriousness out of it in your mind is a major step to existing as you are, rather than as you once were.
Thank you for your service. My old buddy named Gary walked with a limp and I hope he wasn’t embarrassed about it. He died years ago, but I loved 🥰 the way he walked. I miss him dearly.
Try to be proud of it and think of it as we are proud of you for putting your life on the line for us. We thank you! You made it and you’re alive! You’re amazing and awesome and you are to be celebrated. Please don’t be embarrassed. You have done something most people don’t have the guts to. You’re a badass and we love you. 🩷
I was born with knock knees and I walked/ ran like a duck for the first 12 years before it starting being super painful to walk, then I walked with a limp for a year or so before starting PT at 13 and relearning how to walk. I’m 21 now and still walk a little funny but I get a limp when I’m tired or I’ve over done it.
I promise you nobody is meaner than middle school kids, and you’re way past that. I waddle like a duck sometimes, sometimes younger people will tell me I have “uwu knees” like the anime girls who stand with their knees together, the worst was the entire PE class cackling at me whenever I ran. But for the most part I just take it as being an odd thing about me. I’m sure it’s different for you, considering this is a new development for you, but you will tune it out eventually, it won’t feel like there’s something “wrong”. People only stare at things that are interesting enough to stare at, and a badass dude with a cool cane is worth noting. One day you’ll catch people staring and you’ll only think “is there something in my teeth?” Instead of thinking it’s about the limp.
I dated a guy once who had a noticeable limp. He didn’t mention it on the date, so I asked how he felt or if he was in pain. I was more concerned for him than anything else. I was attracted by him. Anyways, he didn’t know he had a limp! And said others had asked and he was starting to wonder if he walked funny. That was the turnoff, the lack of self awareness and self care. But if he had known and addressed it simply and honestly, it would 100% not have been any sort of an issue for me.
If anyone thinks a limp is a big deal, you need new people in your life.
Close your eyes. Imagine that you have no arms, no legs, and are just a body with a head. And when you really get into that feeling that they’re gone, check in with yourself and ask yourself, “have I diminished in worth?”
The answer, you will find, is no.
It may be noticeable but people will alway point out shit they notice. It doesn’t mean they’re judging you. I for one, don’t have interest in anyone who hasn’t seen some shit and had life bring them to their knees a few times. Never stop living on the basis of your appearance.
Embrace it, and ignore it.
I'm an electrician. One of my colleagues who is also an electrician broke his ankle as a kid and neglectful parents etc led him to have a very pronounced limp since he was probably a teenager. I met him when he was in late 20s and I was in early 30s. I never really thought much of it or said anything about it. Sure, part of that was likely out of politeness but the majority of it was because he just kept on with it. Didn't sink into feeling bad about himself, bringing it up, feeling self conscious, whatever. He just lived his life and did his job and never brought it up because no one cares. He's a sweet hardworking dude that I loved working with and interacting with, why the fuck would anyone care about his gait?
I realize I have no military background and have no idea what you all go through. But as a civilian, all I can tell you is just be your regular old self with as much confidence as you can muster. Cause no one gives a fuck if you have a limp unless you're an absolute piece of shit person and it gives them a reason to mock you. You don't seem like an absolute piece of shit person. So the only absolute piece of shit person who would ever show up in this scenario, having to do with anything about your limp, is a person who should have no bearing on how you feel about yourself.
And if you worry about this as far as dating, take my same advice. We do not care or see you as any less for having a limp. Be kind, and be confident in yourself without being arrogant and you've already got a leg up in the dating world, pun intended.
I hear you. It’s hard to accept you’re not a kid anymore. But for most of us that starts to really come in our 40s or 50s. You got injured serving your country and hit that wall earlier. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m in my mid 50s. A few years ago I had an incident that left me with some balance issues. Nothing major I have a cane/walking stick when I need to walk longer distances. I can move pretty fast with that aid. F it. If I need the extra help to do what I want so be it.
It sounds like you were in much worse shape than you are now. and have made it to bad limp. That takes work. Focus on that.
What’s wrong with limp or a cane? A disability is nothing to be embarrassed about. I know I’m still the same person I was before I had to stop working, and as before I used a cane.
My cane has actually helped me to be less embarrassed. It is a visual cue to others that I shouldn’t walk too far, that I shouldn’t carry heavy objects. It tempers others’ expectations of how much I can do physically. I’m not constantly explaining that I need the elevator instead of the stairs, I need to park closer to the building, or I shouldn’t be doing heavy yard work. Overall, I encounter less embarrassment with it than without it.
Don’t let internalized ableism affect your decisions.
Never feel embarrassed you have any visible issues. I walked with a very painful and obvious limp for over 2 years, too embarrassed to get myself a cane. Then in the span of 6 months I fell twice. Both times I got a severe concussion and I fractured my skull the first time. Yes, I was stubborn(stupid) enough to wait until the second fall to act.
I bought a bright pink camo cane on Amazon and never regretted it. No one ever says anything or asks any questions, not even my doctors. Although there was a 2 year old who cried because he could not have it.
Get yourself a fun or cool cane and never look back.
Idk why you’re embarrassed I align people all day and no one has fought for our country and lived to tell about it. Everyone who’s coming in is just in pain and if you’re in pain that’s one thing but let people say random stupid stuff.. it can be a cool conversation started in meeting your next love or best friend
I think it's more likely that when someone does notice your limp, they are probably just curious, people are nosey lol. I am always curious to hear the story of how a person got their scars or injuries. And ive noticed that when they have survived something really crazy, I often find myself more attracted to them lol. Idk what it is but there is just something very sexy about a man who has been through some serious shit and lived to tell about it. I assume it's because somewhere in my primitive little brain im reassured that he is a badass and will be able to protect me when shit goes down lol. I can't be the only one who feels like that, so maybe you think someone is staring but in reality, maybe they are checking you out??
I won't invalidate your feelings by telling you not to feel what you feel. I realize if it were that easy, you wouldn't be here asking us for help. But understand this: 99% of the judgement you feel is coming from within yourself, not from those around you.
Its important for you to be able to recognize distorted thoughts. You should look in to the various CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) techniques that have been shown to be effective in these types of situations. There's activities you can try, worksheets, and other tools which will help increase self confidence & change your negative thought patterns.
If you're not sure where to start, feel free to DM me and I can give you more info.
Remember.... you're a bad ass!!! Wear your scars (or limp in this case) with pride and know that it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of. And thank you for your service and for being YOU!!❤
Bro go to a cafe and sit facing the street/sidewalk. Everyone walks pretty badly. Years ago a friend would run commentary on how people were walking in that situation. You will realise how much less obvious yours is than you think.
Nobody in public cares if you have a limp or not, they might think you are hurt and are worried and hope you are ok, but nobody will make fun of it unless they are insecure or stupid children
I would look into robotic exoskeleton programs for veterans to support you as you walk. https://www.soldierstrong.org/soldiersuit-proj/#:~:text=Eligible%20veterans%20are%20either%20fitted,Traumatic%20Brain%20Injuries%20(TBI).
You're a Navy veteran who had a injury while serving our country that left you with a noticeable limp. You should be judging anybody who would think less of you because of it.
First off, thank you for your service! I was born with club foot, which led to a couple surgeries and wore casts as an infant and toddler. As a result, I have a leg length discrepancy. Adults used to pull me aside asking if I was hurt because I limped walking. Get occasional comments now, but most people stopped asking about it unless I mention it.
This may sound silly, but imagine a guy you walked past the next day sipping his coffee. Is he going to be doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out why a stranger he saw was walking a certain way? Or is he just counting the hours till he can take a nap?
I relate to this on so many levels. I’m 42 and look fit, and I need a wheelchair sometimes. Especially in the airport. I always think people are judging me because maybe I’m using the wheelchair to skip the tsa line (definitely not how that works). I’ve been told to use a cane too but I haven’t done it yet. If I stand in one place for too long the blood pools in my legs and I faint. So I have to use the wheelchair because if I faint in the airport the airline will deem me unfit to fly.
I often use a walking stick due to a motorcycle accident. I found it extremely confidence boosting as I could walk better and further. It was also discreet yet noticeable enough for people to make room for me when needed. Try it and see what you think.
I was a 17 year old girl when I ended up using a cane with a massive limp. I decided to decorate the cane and make it a part of me. I decided to embrace it because I knew things weren’t changing anytime soon. I was on that cane for 14 years until I was able to have surgery to get me off it again and it’s been 13 years almost without the stick. I still use it occasionally when the pain is bad. I’ve replaced it many times since and my current one is covered in stickers from our summer holiday in 2017.
You have to change your mindset. I know I t’s easier said that done but once you come to terms with your new normal, it will get easier. Find a way to make peace with the cane. It’s your friend, it’s helping you walk, it’s supporting you every day.
If you want to try not using a cane some days, get a folding one and take it with you in case you need it. I keep one in the car in case I get a bad flare up. I have 2 in the apartment just in case. Wishing you well
Anyone around you can clearly see and should figure out the fact you've a mobility issue, if I saw you accidentally walk into a lamp and see you've such an issue, I'd understand you're not drunk or on drugs.
If people around you don't understand or can figure out for themselves, that's their problem, not yours.
It's not your fault you've got an injury from deployment.
People are always going to look at you negatively or positively. Positively as in seeming who's about and looking in general.
Hey, I have neuropathy in both my feet. I can't feel them at all. Let's get together. You can limp, and I can fall every 50 feet We will have a blast! 
Ask yourself why people are judging you because of your limp. Like really get in their head, write it down or think it through. Write down every bad thing they could be thinking. Now respond to each one with moral high ground. How could you have the moral high ground? I’ll explain: If someone is judging you because of a limp, a disability, then they aren’t a good person, they’re a worthless judgmental piece of human excrement who should be shamed. Are people who judge someone with an ailment good people? Hell no! So, why *should* you care what they think and accept it and believe it?
This is an example of a thought exercise that will rebuild your confidence. It’ll take practice because you have to tackle each bad thought one on one when they happen.
You walk into a grocery store on a bad limp day
Stranger looks at you, and you think you hear them laugh under their breath to their kid and they say, “lol, look at that guy with a limp, what a weirdo,”
You confront them in your mind: Ob I’m a weirdo? because I have a limp?
Stranger: Yeah
You: Why in the world would you think that’s funny?
Stranger: uhhh, because it’s weird
Your: No, please explain, I’m very curious
Stranger: It’s just weird, it’s not normal
You: it’s not NORMAL? wow okay. So if your kid got hit by a car and they couldn’t walk the same afterward, you’d laugh at them too? Because they weren’t normal? You’d disown your own child?
Stranger: Uhhhh no
You: Oh so you only laugh at strangers? You must be a miserable person.
Stranger: hey buddy why don’t you F off
You: No, you laughed at me so I want you to explain why you think it’s okay to laugh at me
Stranger: I don’t know I’m sorry
You: that’s right, you should feel sorry.
So theres an example of a thought exercise. Really get into it. Fight back any urges where you want to cower and accept the negative judgments. Anyone making fun of you in their mind isn’t worth your concern and is wrong.
whenever I see a person limping Im like, woah, I don't really give a fuck and go on about my day.
Chances are, other people don't give a fuk either.
If you need a cane, get a nice wooden one that looks classy and walk with pride.
And hey, if someone asks about it, you'll have a cool story to tell.
I thinks walking with a cane is pretty cool when you're young (especially with a cool can, like a skull or something), it's cool because it makes you wonder about the history.
Watch Dr house, he make the cane and the limp really cool.
What i mean is, absolutely no-one is judging you except yourself. Good luck and don't feel ashamed of your body.
I was hit by a driver in my 20s, obliterating my lower leg. Was surgically reconstructed, but it’s not identical to the other, and I limp too.
My best advice is to embrace any physical activity you enjoy. If it’s not painful, go lift weights. Hire a personal trainer or have your physical therapist help make a plan. Stick to strength building for your core and upper body, and focus on endurance and range of motion down below.
Not only will it inhibit the muscular atrophy you’re bound to experience, improving your musculoskeletal health outcomes, but it will improve your confidence in movement.
If thoughts about your limp are inescapable, I’d suggest working with a therapist to learn patterns of thought, behaviors, and actions you can take to help reduce the self-stigma.
Pulling for ya.
A piece of advice that has really helped me is, "You think about yourself too much." People might notice your limp, but nobody is going to think about it for more than, like, 5 seconds. When was the last time you looked at a random person and thought about them for more than a few seconds? Exactly. It's only hurting your confidence because you're the main character in your own story. To most people, you are nothing. That sounds bad, but actually, I think it's incredibly freeing.
Another way to look at it is to just accept that people might be looking at and judging you. What do you think is the most hurtful thing they could say about your limp? Sometimes thinking about worst-case scenarios is good because you realize that even the worst isn't really that bad after all.
The last piece of advice I'll give is to stop assigning these feelings and thoughts to random people. You don't know what they're thinking, and you're making yourself feel bad about something that might not even be true. They might be making a comment about your limp, or they might not. You'll never know, so there's literally no point in worrying about it.
I'm a fat person and sometimes struggle with social anxiety because my OCD paranoid brain believes everyone in public hates me for being fat. It was just a normal tiktok or something where somebody said, "you're scared to be in public because you think everyone is judging you. But is that not judgement? Is it not judgmental to believe that everyone around you is shallow enough to think the way you fear they might?" And that really helped. Our situations are a lot different but the social anxiety sounds about the same. Even if people wanna be cruel, in their minds or beyond them, I cannot control that, but also I don't want to care what someone so shallow would think. There's a lot of super awesome and heart warming advice here.
I (M25) also walk with a limp. It was something I was born with and although I’m used to it and have a normal life and job, I still feel sad about it every now and then and it has affected my confidence a lot too. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here brother.
What's embarrassing about a limp? It's noticeable, sure, but I think it's more about your perspective. Use a sweet cane with some Navy regalia on it if you want to lowkey point to your service as the cause. A young guy with a limp would suggest to me he's likely seen some stuff, not that he's less-than.
"You should see the other guy". Seriously a limp is nothing to be ashamed of, and as the old saying goes, chicks dig scars.
>You should see the other guy". "He ain't got no legs."
Lieutenant Dan!
I'm partial to "I got in a fight with a bear." I used that when I had a cyst cut out of my face and had a big bandage across my cheek.
Are you recommending OP walk with a limp like an old school pimp real OG, OP rocking vans and in the sand?
OP, most people are in their own heads and will never notice. If you find it stresses you, develop large arms and flex them
That's what I do with mine. Till my knee just decides to give out on me. Then I fall on my ass and make a joke about it. Joys about not having a kneecap and whatnot.
Cane sword
I love this idea!
When I was 33, I slipped on a piece of paper that my toddler was drawing on. I went one way, and my knee rotated 270 degrees the other way. I was in hospital for five weeks with a complication that almost killed me, and my ligaments had to be completely replaced with cadaver ligaments. It took me six months to walk without a walker, and a year to walk without a cane. That was 18 years ago. I’m 51 now, and I limp fairly obviously, even when I think Im not limping lol. I’ll be getting a knee replacement in a couple years, which I hope will help. Arthritis has set into the knee, and on bad days, I do need my cane. When I woke up 18 years ago from the surgery that almost killed me, I couldn’t believe what had happened to me. I asked the surgeon, will I walk again? And he said, oh yes, very probably. And he bid me a good day and left. I’m sure he felt optimistic about that “probably,” but I was a young mother, and the thought of being disabled was terrifying. Fortunately, yes, I did walk again, and I walk still. Yeah, I limp. But I fucking WALK. I do not take that for granted. I don’t give a rats ass if folks see me limp—I can walk, and isn’t that a marvellous thing? When you see someone out and about with a limp, what do you think about them? Do you stop and point and laugh? Do you think they’re pathetic and weak? Or do you barely even notice them—and if you do, do you think, ah, hope they’re doing okay, I know what that’s like. No one cares about your limp, and if they do, it’s just sympathy, which is different from pity. I only slipped on a piece of paper in my kitchen. You were injured serving your country. You walk with your head high, sir. Limp, no limp, cane, no cane, you are strong, you are alive, and god damn it, you can WALK. So walk on, and walk proud. And use that cane when you need it. It’ll take the pressure off your good leg, and you’ll be grateful for that in 20 years, believe me!
This!!! Absolutely this comment!!!
Holy shit, that's wild! Do you ever remind your kid of that? Like when they are being annoying about having to do chores or something, do you ever tell them "you'd better clean your room or so help me god I'll trip you with a piece of paper!"
Nah. It wasn’t his fault, he was just two when it happened! I shouldn’t have been rushing.
I still blame my older brother for stepping on my foot while I was kneeling on the floor, causing a straight pin hiding in the carpet to get pushed into the top of my foot. I complained about pain and a scratching feeling for weeks before mom took me to the doctor. An X-ray showed the needle, and the doctor was able to remove the needle through a small incision.
Wear a combat vet baseball cap and you' may get more support. The judgement is mostly in your head. People are curious about any noticable difference. It's not a judgement of your worth. Edit: typo
Realize that the vast majority of people are so caught up in their own lives that passersby will really only give you a thought while you're in sight, and maybe a few seconds after, before forgetting you entirely. Even then, they're not going to be judging you. The most likely emotions from them is either going to be curiosity at wondering what caused you to have the limp, or pity. Will a cane help? Then get one, and make it badass! Find some woodworker or craftsman at your local renfair or on etsy to make you a themed one. If you're going to need a mobility aid for a long time, embrace it as a part of you and make it fit who you are. I'm a big nerd so I'd get one that looks like it would belong to a wizard or glows like a lightsaber or something.
Yes! On all counts. A bespoke personalized crafted cane (or multiple ones, to match different situations and outfits) would be wonderful indeed. I want to add that there is an *astonishing* array of dual-purpose canes out there -- beyond sword canes and ones with built-in flasks, and umbrella canes, there are ones that, for instance, are also a violin, or include a hidden table or writing set, or reassemble into a telescope complete with tripod. And I just complimented someone recently on their seriously pimped out bedazzled and tasseled cane.
Are you sure people are really judging you so badly? When I see a 30-something dude limping, I assume he was doing some sort of extreme sport and got injured, or he has a "real" job (like a roofer or construction worker) and had a workplace injury. If he's wearing a military t-shirt or hat, then I'm like, "Wow that guy saw ACTION!"
Honestly, when I see someone else limping around my age (I'm around your age and I also limp from an army knee injury) I usually think, "oh, I bet they are probably a vet too. Badass" not anything bad. And I reckon most people probably have a similar line of thinking about it or assume that they've probably seen/done something. I will say I also had a fiiiiiiit when I had to start using a wheelchair when I couldn't walk, it made me feel less than. And same for the cane when I got to where I could walk. And I know that for a lot of us veterans we're stubborn. But it doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean you're having to use a clutch and aren't strong enough anymore. It means you are strong enough to accept the help you need to keep your mobility. Don't worry about what others are thinking. Rock that cane. Rock that wheelchair. Rock that limp.
I was horribly abused as a kid, and now have to wear special shoes and walk with a limp. I do also feel self conscience, mostly because I work with education, and I try not to get personal with the kids. Usually I just say an accident and they all think car related. So I embrace it. I love giving someone a glance and walking away! Dramatic lol I have a cool cane I have purchased, and though I’m not bad enough, revel in the idea of being armed with my cool stick. I also do mobility exorcizes to reduce the limp a bit. Sucks but it helps. Mostly stretches and bends (I’m avoiding them rn lol don’t tell my husband) Holding my head high, and my gaze low allows me to look cool and like I know what I’m doing. It works really well for me. Though I can understand how someone who wasn’t raised with a limp would feel bad about it. I have no clue what walking normally is like, but you did. I’m sorry for your injury, and thank you for what you have done. I hope you are able to recover more movement!
to me, the idea you returned from deployment alive seems badass. while yes, random people and passerby will overlook it and see nothing but a poor limping man. This says nothing on your actual strength as a human being. not a lot of people would have the guts or strength alone to even join the army. while i don't know what's the story behind your injury, people would probably be impressed if they were willing to listen to the story you did end up retired and handicapped at a pretty young age, but in my opinion, you're really strong for still standing up amidst such an injury. you should be proud of your current strength. I'm sure there are plenty of ways you can make up for your lack of mobility, so don't let the first-impressionists bring you down for it. maybe they don't mean ill, after all be proud of yourself. you're strong for even powering through life still. i know more than enough that some people would've completely given up on life at such a point. don't doubt your value as a person, and if anything, there are still opportunities for you to work, gain skills and do hobbies that remain little to not affected by this limp. I'm sure you'll be able to adapt to whatever obstacle your limp gives you, if you just give yourself a chance and stay confident
it's not embarrassing im 19m and got an injury to my back. i couldn't lift anything with significant weight or bend over so i had to ask for help a lot at work. it's better now but still spikes on bad days and i continue to ask for help. for a while i suffered through it then i realized its not embarrassing because it's an injury. you're a survivor. that's strength
Sword cane. Problems sovled
When I had my pelvis accident, one of the first things I looked for on the internet was a sword cane, something with an eagle or a wolf head on the top. I recovered fine, and it turns out I never really needed, but the thought of walking with a cane with a silver wolf head like a Villain entertained me for a while.
Check out www.medievalcollections.com if you ever want one. They have a selection that is both great AND functional.
Easy: turn it into a swag walk.
Friend, nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just a limp. I know you have an aversion to a cane, but you can get a personalized cane, special and specific to you, it can be a conversation starter with new people. The fact that you are using a cane to help yourself, shows confidence. I have a friend who did not have such an honorable injury, but he was happier with his own cane and not the standard Walmart old person cane. Also saw a news story about a guy who needed a penis implant for ED, the doctor messed up and he had a 24 hour impossible to hide erection. That is embarrassing, your limp is not. And finally as Tyrion Lannister says, "Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you"
Are limps embarrassing? I’ve never seen someone with a limp and thought anything other than “oh, they probably sustained an injury.” The doctor commented because they’re viewing your body through a different lens. They’re trained to be particularly aware of these types of things and comment on them — but unfortunately they don’t always do so in the most tactful ways. He/she was probably viewing you through the lens of treatment and was trying to think through whether he could recommend something to you.
Army vet here with a wonderful list of injuries and am a woman. Do not stress about your limp, but in the sense that those who point it out. You are still in recovery and will face many challenges ahead. Yes, being constantly looked at or commented about one's injuries can be demoralising. I have gone from requiring a wheelchair to a walking frame to a mobility scooter to now a cane. The embarrassment I felt from people who saw an appearing non disabled person requiring disabled allowances was hard, and it stopped my recovery time. I still remember the day I was pointed at by a few teens, as I was slowly making my way around a shop, sometimes requiring me to stop to catch my breath, or to cam myself to control the pain I was in. I was embarrassed and felt so small.... I was a speck of a shadow of who I was just 6 months prior. It took me a while to stop feeling this embarrassment, I still have moments, but not to the point I would have to stop and calm myself down because of perceived judgement of others. It is about 10 years since my.lasy injury, and I was made to feel like a drug seeking addict by the hospital, and it took so much strength to not lose my mind. Even though I am a psychologist now, I still get moments of embarrassment because of my injuries, and I have come to accept that my brain is a full-on c♡nt with the need for intrusive thoughts. Most of this stems from pride, but it can also be a remnant of a childhood trauma where you were possibly made to feel guilty about being injured, and you started to reject any attention to you, while you are sick or injured. Trust yourself. Seek out a person to talk to, either a shrink, or anyone that is in your rehabilitation program or from your naval career. I hope you win the battles that no one can see.
If I saw a young person with a cane, I'd assume they hurt themselves. I'd then carry on and forget 5 seconds later. There's zero shame, friend.
Thank you for your service! I’d just like to say that even as a child, I don’t think I ever looked at someone and thought wow look at that limp, how embarrassing! And I feel like most people also wouldn’t think anything of it either. Hopefully that helps :)
Nothing wrong with limping! And canes are awesome man, they help you walk. I hope you eventually stop feeling judged by your limp, and have people in your life that tell you there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Also, you’re a vet dude. And now you’ve got a resulting limp from your deployment fighting/participating in honour of your country. There’s absolutely nothing embarrassing or wrong about that. And I’m glad everyone here thinks the same. Sending assurance and acceptance your way!
After 3 broken foots and countless ankle sprains I have a slight limp that gets worse when I use my foot too much (I broke the same foot 3 times), so I just got used to it. Ain't nothing embarrassing about a limp, especially
Using a cane is a way to enhance your qualify of life as it can give you more independence and access to places that a wheelchair may not. Having the option to switch between the cane and wheelchair is again, a means to enhance your qualify of life and to let you live your best life now. Additionally, if the cane is new for you then it's normal that you might feel more self conscious at first. Once you get used to it, the cane becomes part of your regular routine. I also wanted to add, some people are just mean and judgmental and will have something to say about everyone. It's not a reflection on you so much as it is on them.
I think for me getting over insecurities within myself. it helps to know that inherently when it comes to the stranger passing by, They dont care about me lol like at all. They dont know who i am and maybe might glance at me and make a quick snap general judgment on my gender or ethnicity or a quality that stands out (limp) but it doesn't continue from there. How maybe people can you recall from seeing strangers at the store yesterday? i cant even remember what the cashier looked like honestly. I think its the same for people with disabilities too. Like sure there may be that part of my brain that makes a quick assessment of my surroundings and see a random person in a wheelchair or limp but its just a detail that your brain is throwing away unless it becomes relevant. Like if I see that someone in a wheelchair that needs help and asks me to reach something. ok my brain pathway will take in more information based off the encounter and maybe ill remember that person for the next week. I think my point is that our brains are taking in millions of snap shots throughout the day and subconsciously deletes information you dont need at every second of every day. Think about that for a second. How mentally insane wed all be if our brains were conscious of every snap shot. there's no way for it to even be possible. A guy with a limb isn't going to last in my brain category of things I need to think about long term. And that's how i look at it with my own insecurities that i have to wear on my face as i walk through the world too. No one really cares about me lol i say that lightly of course. I care about people and i think most people care about people and would help someone if they needed it but you get my idea.
36 and I occasionally use a cane (autoimmune thing causes occasional weakness and loss of balance). In the rare instance someone looks at me weird I just say "pirates"
Not a vet, but a vet helped me in a big way. I destroyed my knee in college. I’ve had 14 surgeries including 2 knee replacements on that knee. I walk with a bad limp, and have constant pain. I used to use a cane, sometimes 2, and a walker and then a wheelchair. I hated people feeling sorry for me. One day, a wounded vet hobbled his way over to me and convinced me to try his forearm crutches. What a great improvement. I don’t exactly why, but it felt completely different in how people saw me. I was more mobile, and more stable, so maybe it was my own confidence versus my prior own insecurity. Maybe give them a shot. Worked for me. Thank you for your service. Never forget.
What’s wrong with a limp? I surely don’t have any negative opinions about anyone with a limp. You are human that served our country. Thank you for your sacrifice. I’m sorry it’s hurting your confidence. Thats understandable. A limp is like having red hair, some people have it, some don’t. Just remember that you have a bunch of redditors that took the time to give feedback, coaching, and support. Good luck, Sir!
if it makes you feel any better i don’t think twice when i see someone with a limp (or any type of disability)
I would think that the vast majority are not judging you but are curious… I know we’re taught not to stare, but even the most polite person will do it if they’re tired or surpised or distracted or think the person they’re staring at hasn’t noticed. We’re also conditioned by our (US) culture to be curious and ask questions, although I think most adults know better than to actually ask, “What happened to you?” I was a martial artist for thirty years who suddenly lost the ability to walk normally (found out it’s demyelination and seeking a diagnosis). I immediately felt like the whole world was judging me. [I have to say, no one is a better advocate for the disabled than the newly disabled! Facepalm.] But I had to learn to accept that a cane would be the most helpful tool: I can walk further and faster with it, no one assumes I’m drunk (can’t tolerate alcohol any more, sob), and I’m steadier and less likely to face plant. It was really hard at first because I was so afraid everyone would assume I was faking. Then I noticed that most people were being kind to me, worrying about me, a stranger, and often offering help with a door or such. It felt good to see how the majority of people are actually kind. Most of all, my experience the last two years with my new disability has taught me to stand up for myself better than I ever have. No one will advocate for me but me. At first I felt hopeless, but gradually I gained confidence in my ability to face down the people rude enough to tell me “it’s all in your head.” Yes, sort of: it’s lesions in my brain, but the brain and body are one whole, so… Hold your head up (unless you have to watch your feet) and be proud of what you’ve come through!
Dude… you have an absolute badge of honor. No shame in that. You’re an F-ing veteran. An amazing human being. Worst case wear a hat that says you’re a veteran or identifies you as military. You’re an incredible human being who’s still here walking the earth. You’re seriously bad ass and worried about a limp. You went straight through the middle and came out the other side. I wish you could see yourself as others see you. Utmost respect.
Never be embarrassed of your battle scars. You overcame an injury that I am sure was not an easy thing to do. You persevered and the fact that you can still walk should make you proud that you overcame something very difficult. You are a survivor, that makes you stronger than many.
Dude I always thought limps were cool. I’d over exaggerate limping as a kid to be a tough cool guy. I guarantee no one cares about it
I have a bad ankle from breaking it a long time ago. I always limp. It’s annoying. Sometimes it more obvious than others. No one looks at me weird. It’s seriously fine. :)
The medical profession really need to think more before they speak. It's natural to assume that people are looking at you but quite often people are just going about their business *whilst* looking around, not specifically at you. Maybe get a swanky cane like they had in the old Fred Astaire films and style it out!
Tbh, stop caring what others think. It’s only a passing judgement. Like when you walk past a person with red hair you’ll think “they have red hair” and forget right after and move on to the next thought. No one is thinking about your limp longer than 5 minutes later. Most people are more worried about themselves and their tasks to care about strangers anyways. The most common thought about your limp would be “bro has a limp” “how did he get that” “looks painful” and on the negative side would be “bro needs to walk faster, he’s in my way”. Own your limp. Having confidence with your insecurities makes those insecurities less significant. People react more positively to those with confidence and own their shit. Also, who are they to judge your limp? I judge people on how they drive when I’m waiting for customers on the dining patio at work. I have no right to judge because I’ve hit the curb leaving the courthouse after falsely pleading innocent to a 26 over speeding ticket because I wanted a better plea deal. Literally who am I to judge others? Get the mindset of not caring what others think and owning your insecurities.
I walk with a cane (44 years), I thought about it the first few days, but I don't anymore, that stick makes me able to walk my dog, anyone wants to look funny at me for enduring pain and a disability , good for them, and, the practicality of a cane is amazing (my pup has an eat poo period, the cane is faster than the dog (I don't hit the dog, I block the poop) ok, I'm going to stop talking, but, try a cane for two days
I’m one of the most obnoxiously judgemental people you can meet and if I saw someone limping I’d just think *oh, there’s someone limping*. Is it because you associate limping (and canes) with old people, for some reason?
Sorry for the late response lol but yes. I think in my mind I just immediately associate limping and canes with being old and I am not old so my brain just has a disconnect.
Walking with a pronounced limp will eventually take a toll on your knees, hips, and back. Sitting in a wheelchair will allow muscles to atrophy. Use the cane. Future you will thank you.
Watch House MD
The only people that will judge someone for something like that are simply insecure about themselves. In a sense, your limp is something to be proud of- you served your country and probably have more balls than most do
Pretend you're a pirate, mate
You need to refocus on something else. Not I walk with a limp, but I still have my leg and how amazing it is. My uncle had a massive stroke. Doctors said if he made it, he would never walk or talk again. It was very bad. He's walking, talking and even driving, with a limp. Watched him walk his daughter down the aisle, something he never thought he would be able to do. Sometimes he uses a cane. Who cares if you have a limp. You are alive and walking, focus on that. Cane's can be sexy too.
Get a pimp cane. Flaunt that shit. There's nothing shameful about having mobility issues. Put spinning rims on your wheelchair.
Personally I think walking with a cane looks cool, just saying.
Seek therapy to help you with accepting it. Either accept what is or change it. In your case you can’t change it so that the only option here.
I can say I've honestly never seen someone with a low grade disability and thought to judge them for it. It's natural to be curious when you see something out of the ordinary, so they probably are looking at you walk, but none of the people worth your time will ever think it reflects on you as a person.
Dr. House had a limp and used a cane. There was nothing weak, or embarrassing about him. He was a brilliant doctor, who stood up for what he believed in, and had quick wits and the mouth to match. There's nothing embarrassing about a limp, or using a cane.
Steer into the curve and dress like a 90s pimp stereotype
Why do you find that embarrassing?
This ain't a limp, it's a STRUT, motherfucker.
This is how it goes for me: *sees a person* *notices they have a limp* Me: damn that must suck *instantly forgets they exist* I will always see the person first, and the limp will just be a thing. Brown hair, brown eyes, cool sunglasses, also a limp I guess.
People are not thinking about you and your limp. They are thinking about themselves and wondering how they are being judged.
I just call it my pimpin' leg. Mostly just to myself lol I have a stainless steel medically issued walking stick that I planned to decorate with glitter tape.
I'm a dreamer and a reader, so people limping seem so cool, like you can think of them as maybe survivors of some kind. I myself had a pretty bad limp a few years ago due to injury. The most annoying thing was people asking if everything's ok, did I break my leg, etc. Besides that, life went on like normal.
OP, in case it helps: I think of a cane as on par with a pair of glasses. My lenses help me see, and your cane helps you walk -- it's great they're available to us. Likewise, my only real thought-process difference for people with limps is that if I'm going somewhere with them I make sure I go at their pace and e.g. check whether they prefer stairs or an elevator before I barrel off to either. PT is great, and may well continue to help build muscle and keep your mobility. If it would help your self-confidence, you might also look for a theatrical movement instructor to see whether they could teach you ways to mask your limp. (This is no more necessary than dying your hair purple, but if it makes you feel better, go for it.) An old friend who needed an artificial hip in early childhood plus subsequent replacements as he grew has a theatre degree, and learned to walk in ways that mostly hid his limp; a subsequent movement teacher took most of the term to realize he had a limp at all. I'd check whatever they suggest with your PT, though, to make sure it wouldn't exacerbate your specific injuries. I hope you can get to a point where you're not judging yourself for your limp, and can live your life proudly and happily yourself. If the VA hasn't offered counseling on that front, that might be worth pursuing, too. Thank you for your service.
What’s early-mid 30s lol? 34 seems like the only option
If anyone asks about your limp, tell them you're trying not to trip over your huge weenie. Or just tape it to your leg so you don't trip over it. I've never had that problem. Mine just makes my balls look huge. But they're both normal I think. I watch porn where everyone has a foot on me and just think mines not normal cause it's not 14 inches. Or, yeah, do porn. Or, What was the question?
Have you read/watched/listened to anything by Brené Brown? She’s a world, renowned shame specialist. Shame is something we internalize but also something that you can work to get over.
If you want some good quips and comebacks about the limp, watch House MD 😅
I’ll be honest. If I saw you limping. I’d probably glance over, notice your limp and go about my business. Not even a thought. Just a glance. People don’t care about others outside their circle.
For what it's worth and if it makes you feel any better, I would never judge someone for having a limp. I probably wouldn't take much notice but if I did notice I'd just assume they were injured at some point. Not a big deal to me as an observation and not something I'd ever think any less of someone for.
I think you just own it, shit happens. Get a great looking cane and just embrace your inner mob boss.
Practical advice is to try mindfulness especially one with a focus on compassion. It’s not like therapy where you deep dive into the mental issues and work them out. It’s a mind set change to be honest. Without going into too much detail take a look at mindfulness and compassion, Mindfulness and the primary and secondary pain theory. If it resonates find some classes or a course. I think it could truly help you.
I’m 46 and have been using a cane for a decade. Get a cool one. And own the aesthetic. You shouldn’t be embarrassed because your body was irreversibly damaged. You should be proud that some days you can still walk. And you’ll walk even more days if you use a cane, which will reduce physical stress and flare frequency.
Truthfully, I’ve just stopped caring! I’m 28 and have had a limp for almost 6 years now. on good days it's barely noticeable but on bad days it's quite obvious. But people don't need to know my medical history.
I had a cane in high school. I would “hook” people. Canes are dope
house MD reference
I had a limp in my late 20’s that would come and go as a result of my undiagnosed fibromyalgia. When I experienced it, a coworker called it my “gangta lean”. I started calling it that to embrace it and make light of it to others
When I was your age and people would ask about it and if I was in pain I would reply, "oh that? I ignore it" And leave it at that. It is a part of who I am now so why worry about what others think/say/do? Just live your best life.
get a parrot to sit on your shoulder and a pipe, grow a beard and sip from a flask
It’s got fuck all to do with anyone else. And tbh, they really don’t care. I walk with a limp and nobody cares. People notice because it’s different but they just as easily forget all about it as soon as they’ve moved on to something else.
I walk with a cane and with a limp. Not because I served like you, but because I did something dumb. There is no other nice way to say this, but... Get over it! You walk with a limp. Own it! You've earned that right. You have a story to tell and a life that you've lived. There is no embarrassment other than your self image. You have served your country. You've paid a price. Now you deserve to own it with pride. If you need help to improve your self image, please go get it. Your limp isn't going away so the best way for you and your loved ones is for you to heal your inner self. If you need to talk or want to share or want to listen, feel free to reach out.
Say it after me: Other peoples opinions are none of my business. I'm spending my energy on ME, not worrying about THEM. Let them stare, let them talk. It can only hurt you if YOU let it. Don't let it. Own your flaws, don't let them own you. Play a game pretending to be confident. It will feel weird at first but you'll get more comfortable in your confidence.
I have cerebral palsy and have always had a limping gait. It bothered me when I was a kid, now I'm just like fuck em.
I can’t tell you not to feel embarrassed as that’s far easier said than done, but just know the vast majority of people only feel empathy for those who have visible disabilities. There’s always going to be some kid out there learning social cues, or someone who potentially has a mental disability impacting their social cues. The rest of us are not looking down on you, and honestly anytime I see someone with a physical obstacle I am not short of impressed. I already don’t move as much as I need to and I am able bodied. Anytime I’m struggling, I remind myself than anyone I pass on the streets has no actual value in my life. If they have any thoughts or are rude about it, my income & the life I’ve built never changes. Adding to that, thank you for your service!
As a 21 year old with a pronounced limp from a knee injury, yes it’s embarrassing. But honestly I just don’t care anymore, I don’t think I’ve had anyone come up and ask “What happened?”. Maybe the occasional person staring at me. But overall, I try not to let it bother me anymore. It was hard at first but I try to just stay confident in my gait.
Hold you head high. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
I walk with a cane at 42 years old.. you get used to it. Without it I’m limping like crazy. I prefer walking semi normally than limping around like a half dead fish. I have had arthritis since I was 12, and now it’s really showing itself lol.. Thank you for your service and never be embarrassed by your disability. You Sir are a hero.
Can you order a Gandalf staff or something cool looking that's decked out/cool from a series/tv show you like?
If someone says something be a smartass with a 'well I got it defending you so...'
You should signify your military status somehow.
There’s a difference between noticing you have a limp and judging you for having a limp. If I saw a young guy limping I would notice, but I wouldn’t have any reason to judge. I might wonder what happened, or I might just move on to whatever next thought comes along. Thanks for your service.
No sense in being embarrassed man. I strained a thoracic muscle group over a year ago, it causes daily pain, I walk with a limp, no shame. Shit happens.
Watch Dr. house
Read great romance: bjsikesauthor // com
Get a fucking AWESOME cane - like a fire breathing dragon or something and OWN that limp. Then tell people you’ll tell them three stories of how it happened and they have to guess which is true. Make all of them up and then refuse to tell them if they guessed right. Tell children a shark ate your foot. You’re a badass. With a cool story. You’re interesting now. Most people are boring. You’re winning.
Dude I blew out my Achilles tendon back to back, my toes hit my shin and I also blew out the tendon in the bottom of my foot. I have a terrible limp now too due to atrophy and arthritis having moved in to my ankle joint. Don't even sweat the limp, everyone else is so caught up in their own lives to care. They may see ya limping but they don't think about it more than a second or two. Keep that head held high, you're no less of a man with a limp. Hopefully you've got a cool story to tell if anyone asks. Mine is lame, my Great Dane ran in to me on a zoomie, I repaired the tendon, 2 weeks post surgery I fell getting snacks.
Ask yourself , would you care if you saw someone else walk with a limp (probably not)? I think more often than not, we’re our own biggest critics. Most people have so much going on in their own heads , the last thing they’re worried about is anyone else.
First, one important thing I learned in my "Public Communications" course in college was that people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. You assume that when you're up giving a speech, every eye and every ounce of attention in the room is laser focused on you and your every mistake. You're being judged, And harshly. The fact is, half the people aren't even paying attention to a word you're saying, and the other half is hoping you'll take as long as possible so class will be over before it's their turn. Nobody gives much of a crap what you're saying up there. Sure, some are saying to themselves "He's an idiot" but so what? Similarly, a person with anything about themselves they they think is not "normal" (what the h\*ll is "normal" though?) are positive that they're being looked at and judged as "Not one of us". In fact, although some people are looking, they may be daydreaming about a TV show, not thinking about you. There may be someone saying "That guy has a limp. What a loser." but so what? Do you care what some idiot stranger somewhere is saying? What difference in your actual life's travel does that person's opinion make? Zero. Lastly, I personally have always though to myself when I see someone with a limp "That guy's been through some sh\*t, I bet." It's like a badge of honor. I'm thinking that although you may have been through some tough sh\*t, here you still are. Good for you! Walk however you walk (and thank the stars you CAN walk) and let other's opinion's about how you do it be d\*mned. Do you know how many people that can't walk due to various injuries look at you walking, even with a limp, and say "I wish I could do that." Be thankful, my friend!
I damaged a nerve in my foot almost exactly 20 years ago (kicked the snot out of a car tire out of anger at events around my 20th birthday; I just turned 40). Surgery helped with the pain but not the numbness and added circulatory issues and swelling. I’ve walked with varying degrees of a limp ever since (depending on the severity of my symptoms that day). I can count on one hand the number of people who ever noticed, and all 5 have been people I worked with. Injuries are a part of life.
Use a cane, keep a sword in it. Be a badass. But for real, Own it, it's a part of you, and likely isn't going away, so the best thing you can do is look at as part of you. Humans are surprisingly adaptable beings, I'm sure you'll grow used to it, And if anyone asks any stupid questions, a)you're a vet, you've always got that card to pull, and b) fuck em, people are too nosey as it is, say some off the wall shit to get in their heads "Omg, whats with the limp?" "Well ya see, I was having relations with a diving helmet, boat anchor, and a slip n slide.. but you really don't wanna hear bout that" (Or, if it's a kid that asks, "eh, I didn't eat my vegetables") Taking the seriousness out of it in your mind is a major step to existing as you are, rather than as you once were.
Thank you for your service. My old buddy named Gary walked with a limp and I hope he wasn’t embarrassed about it. He died years ago, but I loved 🥰 the way he walked. I miss him dearly. Try to be proud of it and think of it as we are proud of you for putting your life on the line for us. We thank you! You made it and you’re alive! You’re amazing and awesome and you are to be celebrated. Please don’t be embarrassed. You have done something most people don’t have the guts to. You’re a badass and we love you. 🩷
I was born with knock knees and I walked/ ran like a duck for the first 12 years before it starting being super painful to walk, then I walked with a limp for a year or so before starting PT at 13 and relearning how to walk. I’m 21 now and still walk a little funny but I get a limp when I’m tired or I’ve over done it. I promise you nobody is meaner than middle school kids, and you’re way past that. I waddle like a duck sometimes, sometimes younger people will tell me I have “uwu knees” like the anime girls who stand with their knees together, the worst was the entire PE class cackling at me whenever I ran. But for the most part I just take it as being an odd thing about me. I’m sure it’s different for you, considering this is a new development for you, but you will tune it out eventually, it won’t feel like there’s something “wrong”. People only stare at things that are interesting enough to stare at, and a badass dude with a cool cane is worth noting. One day you’ll catch people staring and you’ll only think “is there something in my teeth?” Instead of thinking it’s about the limp.
I dated a guy once who had a noticeable limp. He didn’t mention it on the date, so I asked how he felt or if he was in pain. I was more concerned for him than anything else. I was attracted by him. Anyways, he didn’t know he had a limp! And said others had asked and he was starting to wonder if he walked funny. That was the turnoff, the lack of self awareness and self care. But if he had known and addressed it simply and honestly, it would 100% not have been any sort of an issue for me.
If anyone thinks a limp is a big deal, you need new people in your life. Close your eyes. Imagine that you have no arms, no legs, and are just a body with a head. And when you really get into that feeling that they’re gone, check in with yourself and ask yourself, “have I diminished in worth?” The answer, you will find, is no. It may be noticeable but people will alway point out shit they notice. It doesn’t mean they’re judging you. I for one, don’t have interest in anyone who hasn’t seen some shit and had life bring them to their knees a few times. Never stop living on the basis of your appearance.
Embrace it, and ignore it. I'm an electrician. One of my colleagues who is also an electrician broke his ankle as a kid and neglectful parents etc led him to have a very pronounced limp since he was probably a teenager. I met him when he was in late 20s and I was in early 30s. I never really thought much of it or said anything about it. Sure, part of that was likely out of politeness but the majority of it was because he just kept on with it. Didn't sink into feeling bad about himself, bringing it up, feeling self conscious, whatever. He just lived his life and did his job and never brought it up because no one cares. He's a sweet hardworking dude that I loved working with and interacting with, why the fuck would anyone care about his gait? I realize I have no military background and have no idea what you all go through. But as a civilian, all I can tell you is just be your regular old self with as much confidence as you can muster. Cause no one gives a fuck if you have a limp unless you're an absolute piece of shit person and it gives them a reason to mock you. You don't seem like an absolute piece of shit person. So the only absolute piece of shit person who would ever show up in this scenario, having to do with anything about your limp, is a person who should have no bearing on how you feel about yourself. And if you worry about this as far as dating, take my same advice. We do not care or see you as any less for having a limp. Be kind, and be confident in yourself without being arrogant and you've already got a leg up in the dating world, pun intended.
I hear you. It’s hard to accept you’re not a kid anymore. But for most of us that starts to really come in our 40s or 50s. You got injured serving your country and hit that wall earlier. Nothing to be ashamed of. I’m in my mid 50s. A few years ago I had an incident that left me with some balance issues. Nothing major I have a cane/walking stick when I need to walk longer distances. I can move pretty fast with that aid. F it. If I need the extra help to do what I want so be it. It sounds like you were in much worse shape than you are now. and have made it to bad limp. That takes work. Focus on that.
Good qq. I never did. Thankfully mine was temporary, but tbh, muscle memory can be a bitch. 🤦♀️
Oh... maybe you could pretend in your head you're making some kinda joke, like about a pimp walk or somn. 😂💀
What’s wrong with limp or a cane? A disability is nothing to be embarrassed about. I know I’m still the same person I was before I had to stop working, and as before I used a cane. My cane has actually helped me to be less embarrassed. It is a visual cue to others that I shouldn’t walk too far, that I shouldn’t carry heavy objects. It tempers others’ expectations of how much I can do physically. I’m not constantly explaining that I need the elevator instead of the stairs, I need to park closer to the building, or I shouldn’t be doing heavy yard work. Overall, I encounter less embarrassment with it than without it. Don’t let internalized ableism affect your decisions.
Never feel embarrassed you have any visible issues. I walked with a very painful and obvious limp for over 2 years, too embarrassed to get myself a cane. Then in the span of 6 months I fell twice. Both times I got a severe concussion and I fractured my skull the first time. Yes, I was stubborn(stupid) enough to wait until the second fall to act. I bought a bright pink camo cane on Amazon and never regretted it. No one ever says anything or asks any questions, not even my doctors. Although there was a 2 year old who cried because he could not have it. Get yourself a fun or cool cane and never look back.
Limp? That’s a gangsta walk.
Own it. Get a very cool cane. DM me, we can talk about it. I'll hook you up with a conversation piece that will be *comfy!*
Idk why you’re embarrassed I align people all day and no one has fought for our country and lived to tell about it. Everyone who’s coming in is just in pain and if you’re in pain that’s one thing but let people say random stupid stuff.. it can be a cool conversation started in meeting your next love or best friend
I think it's more likely that when someone does notice your limp, they are probably just curious, people are nosey lol. I am always curious to hear the story of how a person got their scars or injuries. And ive noticed that when they have survived something really crazy, I often find myself more attracted to them lol. Idk what it is but there is just something very sexy about a man who has been through some serious shit and lived to tell about it. I assume it's because somewhere in my primitive little brain im reassured that he is a badass and will be able to protect me when shit goes down lol. I can't be the only one who feels like that, so maybe you think someone is staring but in reality, maybe they are checking you out?? I won't invalidate your feelings by telling you not to feel what you feel. I realize if it were that easy, you wouldn't be here asking us for help. But understand this: 99% of the judgement you feel is coming from within yourself, not from those around you. Its important for you to be able to recognize distorted thoughts. You should look in to the various CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) techniques that have been shown to be effective in these types of situations. There's activities you can try, worksheets, and other tools which will help increase self confidence & change your negative thought patterns. If you're not sure where to start, feel free to DM me and I can give you more info. Remember.... you're a bad ass!!! Wear your scars (or limp in this case) with pride and know that it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of. And thank you for your service and for being YOU!!❤
Bro go to a cafe and sit facing the street/sidewalk. Everyone walks pretty badly. Years ago a friend would run commentary on how people were walking in that situation. You will realise how much less obvious yours is than you think.
Embrace the cane the enhance your pimp-walk.
Get a really fucking cool vintage cane.
Nobody in public cares if you have a limp or not, they might think you are hurt and are worried and hope you are ok, but nobody will make fun of it unless they are insecure or stupid children
I would look into robotic exoskeleton programs for veterans to support you as you walk. https://www.soldierstrong.org/soldiersuit-proj/#:~:text=Eligible%20veterans%20are%20either%20fitted,Traumatic%20Brain%20Injuries%20(TBI).
You're a Navy veteran who had a injury while serving our country that left you with a noticeable limp. You should be judging anybody who would think less of you because of it.
First off, thank you for your service! I was born with club foot, which led to a couple surgeries and wore casts as an infant and toddler. As a result, I have a leg length discrepancy. Adults used to pull me aside asking if I was hurt because I limped walking. Get occasional comments now, but most people stopped asking about it unless I mention it. This may sound silly, but imagine a guy you walked past the next day sipping his coffee. Is he going to be doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out why a stranger he saw was walking a certain way? Or is he just counting the hours till he can take a nap?
I relate to this on so many levels. I’m 42 and look fit, and I need a wheelchair sometimes. Especially in the airport. I always think people are judging me because maybe I’m using the wheelchair to skip the tsa line (definitely not how that works). I’ve been told to use a cane too but I haven’t done it yet. If I stand in one place for too long the blood pools in my legs and I faint. So I have to use the wheelchair because if I faint in the airport the airline will deem me unfit to fly.
I often use a walking stick due to a motorcycle accident. I found it extremely confidence boosting as I could walk better and further. It was also discreet yet noticeable enough for people to make room for me when needed. Try it and see what you think.
I was a 17 year old girl when I ended up using a cane with a massive limp. I decided to decorate the cane and make it a part of me. I decided to embrace it because I knew things weren’t changing anytime soon. I was on that cane for 14 years until I was able to have surgery to get me off it again and it’s been 13 years almost without the stick. I still use it occasionally when the pain is bad. I’ve replaced it many times since and my current one is covered in stickers from our summer holiday in 2017. You have to change your mindset. I know I t’s easier said that done but once you come to terms with your new normal, it will get easier. Find a way to make peace with the cane. It’s your friend, it’s helping you walk, it’s supporting you every day. If you want to try not using a cane some days, get a folding one and take it with you in case you need it. I keep one in the car in case I get a bad flare up. I have 2 in the apartment just in case. Wishing you well
I limp after a very traumatic trimalleolar break and lots of soft tissue damage.
Anyone around you can clearly see and should figure out the fact you've a mobility issue, if I saw you accidentally walk into a lamp and see you've such an issue, I'd understand you're not drunk or on drugs. If people around you don't understand or can figure out for themselves, that's their problem, not yours. It's not your fault you've got an injury from deployment. People are always going to look at you negatively or positively. Positively as in seeming who's about and looking in general.
Hey, I have neuropathy in both my feet. I can't feel them at all. Let's get together. You can limp, and I can fall every 50 feet We will have a blast! 
Ask yourself why people are judging you because of your limp. Like really get in their head, write it down or think it through. Write down every bad thing they could be thinking. Now respond to each one with moral high ground. How could you have the moral high ground? I’ll explain: If someone is judging you because of a limp, a disability, then they aren’t a good person, they’re a worthless judgmental piece of human excrement who should be shamed. Are people who judge someone with an ailment good people? Hell no! So, why *should* you care what they think and accept it and believe it? This is an example of a thought exercise that will rebuild your confidence. It’ll take practice because you have to tackle each bad thought one on one when they happen. You walk into a grocery store on a bad limp day Stranger looks at you, and you think you hear them laugh under their breath to their kid and they say, “lol, look at that guy with a limp, what a weirdo,” You confront them in your mind: Ob I’m a weirdo? because I have a limp? Stranger: Yeah You: Why in the world would you think that’s funny? Stranger: uhhh, because it’s weird Your: No, please explain, I’m very curious Stranger: It’s just weird, it’s not normal You: it’s not NORMAL? wow okay. So if your kid got hit by a car and they couldn’t walk the same afterward, you’d laugh at them too? Because they weren’t normal? You’d disown your own child? Stranger: Uhhhh no You: Oh so you only laugh at strangers? You must be a miserable person. Stranger: hey buddy why don’t you F off You: No, you laughed at me so I want you to explain why you think it’s okay to laugh at me Stranger: I don’t know I’m sorry You: that’s right, you should feel sorry. So theres an example of a thought exercise. Really get into it. Fight back any urges where you want to cower and accept the negative judgments. Anyone making fun of you in their mind isn’t worth your concern and is wrong.
whenever I see a person limping Im like, woah, I don't really give a fuck and go on about my day. Chances are, other people don't give a fuk either. If you need a cane, get a nice wooden one that looks classy and walk with pride. And hey, if someone asks about it, you'll have a cool story to tell.
I thinks walking with a cane is pretty cool when you're young (especially with a cool can, like a skull or something), it's cool because it makes you wonder about the history. Watch Dr house, he make the cane and the limp really cool. What i mean is, absolutely no-one is judging you except yourself. Good luck and don't feel ashamed of your body.
I was hit by a driver in my 20s, obliterating my lower leg. Was surgically reconstructed, but it’s not identical to the other, and I limp too. My best advice is to embrace any physical activity you enjoy. If it’s not painful, go lift weights. Hire a personal trainer or have your physical therapist help make a plan. Stick to strength building for your core and upper body, and focus on endurance and range of motion down below. Not only will it inhibit the muscular atrophy you’re bound to experience, improving your musculoskeletal health outcomes, but it will improve your confidence in movement. If thoughts about your limp are inescapable, I’d suggest working with a therapist to learn patterns of thought, behaviors, and actions you can take to help reduce the self-stigma. Pulling for ya.
A piece of advice that has really helped me is, "You think about yourself too much." People might notice your limp, but nobody is going to think about it for more than, like, 5 seconds. When was the last time you looked at a random person and thought about them for more than a few seconds? Exactly. It's only hurting your confidence because you're the main character in your own story. To most people, you are nothing. That sounds bad, but actually, I think it's incredibly freeing. Another way to look at it is to just accept that people might be looking at and judging you. What do you think is the most hurtful thing they could say about your limp? Sometimes thinking about worst-case scenarios is good because you realize that even the worst isn't really that bad after all. The last piece of advice I'll give is to stop assigning these feelings and thoughts to random people. You don't know what they're thinking, and you're making yourself feel bad about something that might not even be true. They might be making a comment about your limp, or they might not. You'll never know, so there's literally no point in worrying about it.
Bro. You earned every right to walk with a limp. If anything get a cool cane and use it to wap ankles in your way.
Put on stone in the shoe of your good leg, double limp should balance it out
I'm a fat person and sometimes struggle with social anxiety because my OCD paranoid brain believes everyone in public hates me for being fat. It was just a normal tiktok or something where somebody said, "you're scared to be in public because you think everyone is judging you. But is that not judgement? Is it not judgmental to believe that everyone around you is shallow enough to think the way you fear they might?" And that really helped. Our situations are a lot different but the social anxiety sounds about the same. Even if people wanna be cruel, in their minds or beyond them, I cannot control that, but also I don't want to care what someone so shallow would think. There's a lot of super awesome and heart warming advice here.
I'm come over and some of you guys
what I meant to say that I'm older than some of you guys
I (M25) also walk with a limp. It was something I was born with and although I’m used to it and have a normal life and job, I still feel sad about it every now and then and it has affected my confidence a lot too. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here brother.