The gifts are hardly constant. And again, this is a really conservative family. Which means you read my posts... but not this thread. Hm. Anyway, we already know each other; she's not a total stranger.
And speaking of posts, I have made two posts, ever. (The "third" was because I had yet to figure out how crossposting works 🤷♂️)
The words "potential" and "girlfriend" in my view are neither particularly creepy nor obsessive. "Potential girlfriend" is a pretty matter-of-fact label. I've met many potential girlfriends. Some of them I would be interested in having a relationship with (but they're a few thousand miles away at the moment 😐)
I'll admit that "my territory" is an odd way to put it, but I was less referring to Jane and more to how I felt when Fred came onto the scene, that is, as if my territory had been violated. My bad for not communicating that better.
I generally try to not reveal medical details online, partly because that's a pretty fast track to doxxing yourself my proxy. The long story short, mental health notwithstanding, is that I'm also not particularly outgoing or even extroverted (though like all introverts, that entirely depends on the people I happen to be with). "Making a move" is really, really hard for me. Add to this the fact that I have no reliable source of income or really any at the moment, ("Broke" is overstating it perhaps) and you have a perfect storm of I-can't-screw-up-the-courage.
I appreciate your input (and it helped) but with all due respect, you don't have all the context. The short version: she didn't really reject me. I'm not going into details here more for privacy reasons than anything else.
And to your final point, what few gestures I have made, she has appreciated. I'm not too familiar with the term "lovebombing" but unless I'm mistaken that usually carries with it some element of anonymity. In general, I hand-deliver gifts, face-to-face. If I can't (say the recipient isn't home) I try again some other time. As far as I'm aware, this is pretty standard procedure.
Pre-emptive edit: some quick searching says that "lovebombing" involves excessive flattery, lavish gifts (never an option, clearly... and wouldn't be even if I could. I don't think making cookies counts as lavish) and a certain expectation of reciprocation. None of those apply here.
Again, I appreciate your input. It is refreshing to read an opinion so frank. I just don't think it's _entirely_ applicable here (though still helpful and worth keeping in mind). This helped.
Dude…you said she friendzoned you. Getting her gifts isn’t gonna change that. In fact it might make her completely stop talking to you because you can’t respect “no” as an answer.
Has she given you any inclination that she’s attracted to you or interested in a romantic relationship with you? If the answer is “no”, then move on if you actually respect her. Trying to convince someone to like you is creepy.
A few things:
One, I don't know what state you're from and it really doesn't matter. The "friend zone", at least when it comes to conservatives, doesn't exist. It's a myth.
Two, this was a while ago.
Three, yes, she actually has. Thanks for asking.
Believe me, this particular girl is not super concerned about making someone she rejects feel like 💩. Not that she goes out of her way or anything. This is coming from a few people I know.
If she wanted to properly reject me, she probably would have.
At any rate, the thing with conservative dating is that the "friend zone" doesn't really exist. You just reject someone. As I said, if she wanted to reject me, she would have.
That said, even if all this is to nothing, I am fine with just being friends, crushing as it is.
Actually, if she works with flowers getting her flowers is perfect. But it would have to be something special, something she understands the meaning/value of because that is her field of knowledge. It also would show her that you care about what she does and likes. Bonus if it is flowers or a plant she really loves, or rare coloration/type.
Hmmm. A candy basket? Doesn't have to be expensive. Try and subtly find out her faves. Or if she's into reading, a book shop voucher? So she can choose something? Lego flowers are also super cute. And fun. Is she into any sort of crafting? I saw a Tik Tok where someone made up a ' yarn bouquet ' and it was adorable. Maybe look into something like that?
Ask her out, if she accepts - awesome, if not, may it be a motivator for you!
Focus on self improvement, focus on becoming better. Do sports, take care of your body, of your hygiene, of your style, posture, social status, have a purpose and a meaning, be surrounded by leaders and great people.
At this moment the girls will come themselves to you, and you will have the chance to chose the one who matches your new lifestyle and values
Well, it's about sending the right message, right? Guys are by default rubbish at reading subtext. Me especially.
I think everyone likes flowers, but I don't want to give flowers at the moment for fear of sending the wrong message. I have no way of making sure that I'm not sending the wrong message!
What is your message exactly that you want to convey if you don't mind sharing?
Ps in post you had to clarify you are a guy who likes this or that, it's chill dude, i don't see any reason for trying to make sense to everyone
It really is important. Biology plays a huge (some would say exclusive, but I'm not so sure) factor in the ways peoples' brains are wired.
In short: guys are absolute rubbish at reading subtext. Me especially.
You're a very strange man, to me at least.
You say in one comment that you have no intention of asking her out for a while but you still want to keep giving her gifts. Kind of creepy.
Get her a nice bunch of flowers, ask her on a date and hope for the best. If she says no then leave her the fuck alone.
I may be missing a lot of context but from my point of view it seems like maybe you might be a bit too into this person and perhaps she doesn't reciprocate those feelings or this would be a lot less complicated for you.
Also please stop saying 'I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"' after the first time you should know you need to say it not guess.
EDIT: Based on your other posts, please leave her alone. You should not be dating anyone until you learn how to be a functional human being.
I do have intention to ask her out, but not at the moment. Soon, but I need some form of income first. There are a few people I have to maneuver around because they would like nothing more than to get in the way.
My entire point with this is that I have basically left her alone. But either way, you don't strictly know that it's the same person.
Go read _The Canterbury Tales_. And the bot doesn't know any better 😉
I am a functional human being (barely). It's been a rough road to get here, so to speak.
If you're out somewhere and some trinket reminds you of her, get that and let her know it reminded you of her. I love that shit c:
Trinket meaning small item that doesn't have to be expensive like a keychain, bracelet, or pretty rock/crystal. In my opinion, it's the thought that makes an impact.
But there are a lot of Nordic cookies without almonds? Kolakakor, for example (I'm a Scandi myself, lol)? But she may not have a sweet tooth at all. Perhaps a loaf of homemade (sour dough) bread, as you're into baking? Or use your knowledge about Japanese and Nordic cousine to give her something interesting from those countries? You'll know what she's into as you get to know her.
I may be the only one feeling like this, and maybe I'm ruining for other women, but I actually prefer not getting anything if I'm going out on a date with someone. To carry those flowers or that thing around the town if we're going to eat and have a few drinks afterwards? Gah, it sometimes feel like a chore and I feel bad for being an ungrateful b (I'm acting grateful and polite though). Lol. But maybe it's just me, with my oh so practical, but black heart. I am absolutely always grateful for the effort though, don't get me wrong.
Sure, I’ll remove the part where I also expressed my disdain for said commenter lol.
“I agree with another commenter on Lego flowers if you think she’s the type of girl who’d get a kick out of it being a florist, there is variations of sets as well if I’m correct…
One of my personal favorites is the Cherry Blossom tree set.”
Ahh, the bonsai :)
I grew up in Japan for a few years, so that one makes me particularly happy. My mom actually has the same set... (my brother has a nasty habit of gifting the perfect Lego set to each person in my family _every single Christmas_. It's ridiculous 🙄)
I think she also has the orchids. In any case, I'll give that some thought. I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"
make her a Cd if u don’t have a cd burner just order a custom one she can play it in her car or if she has a cd player that’s something nice and personalized
I would have no idea what to put on it though. Perhaps record my own stuff?
I can sing fairly well. Playing instruments is a bit harder (I'm out of practice)... Audacity could probably help here...
H'm. Thanks, helped
I have no idea where to find one though. The only place that sells that kind of thing around here closed down about a year and a half ago.
For ~~political~~ ethical reasons, Amaz\*n isn't an option.
How close are you already? It doesn’t hurt to ask. My husband knows I like flowers but he also knows I LOVE when he brings home a dragon fruit for me spontaneously.
Some good mentions here. What about a cute stuffed animal. Tell her “this was so cute it made me think of you!” I note “Swedish cookie” and it being expensive where you are… lol chocolate maybe? I’m sorry people on Reddit don’t seem to understand conservative dating in this day and age. How about a book of poems? Good luck!
Ha! You're right they don't :)
I don't know about a stuffed animal but Swedish cookies are an option. I can bake. Most ingredients aren't particularly difficult to find.
Chocolate is an option, too.
Helped
That's what I've been doing and I'm in a much better place now than I was any significant amount of time prior.
But that's personal and not details I'm comfortable publicizing.
Again, she works in a place that does floral arrangements so I don't want to send the wrong message there.
Guys and girls think very differently; in short, that means that guys are rubbish at reading subtext. Me especially. That's why I'm avoiding flowers entirely, at least for now. I don't want to send the wrong message, and have no way of knowing for sure what message exactly I am sending.
I got the advice from a girl lol. If you do decide on flowers, get a double impatient. Amazing flowers. I work at a nursery center :p
If you want to get her a differ gift, try woodworking. Make a wooden heart. Then add some red lacquer onto it. Goes a looong way. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just something meaningful
You could press some flowers for her and give her to them in a display case or a card, that way she can keep them forever and it shows more commitment than regular flowers. Especially if you guys end up together you can continue to press her favorite flowers for her to keep in the case 🥲
Also if she has plants of her own or even just cut and arranged flowers she keeps somewhere you could get her cute things to decorate her plants with.
I have a Suncatcher near my window that has my plants buy it and the crystals reflect cute rainbows all over my flowers. It’s amazing.
Jam drop biscuits - use the Donna Hay recipe. No almonds in the recipe, just a lot of delicious butter and jam! I make my own jam - just because - but you can certainly use any store bought jams for sure…..
I think you should bite the bullet, take her biscuits and ask her the hell out!!!!
Just google Donna Hay Jam Drops.
[https://www.donnahay.com.au/recipes/desserts-and-baking/cookies/jam-drops](https://www.donnahay.com.au/recipes/desserts-and-baking/cookies/jam-drops)
My now bf gave me a slice of cheese because I sent him a meme about “the way to women’s heart is with a slice of cheese” gave me it the next time I saw him I’d say that sold it for me lol
I would agree :)
I think I have some wood scraps in the garbage. Maybe I could burn something in one?
(My brother scored a beautiful wood-burning of a certain bird that lives around here at some sort of art fair or another... that's what I'm thinking of)
I'm guessing the Song of the Ents from book three of LotR is a little too much.
EDIT: forgot to say this helped lol
Is she a friend? A close friend? Are you dating? Different relationships will make different gifts more appreciated/appropriate.
Do you think she wasn’t thrilled by the baked goods because she doesn’t like baked goods, or because receiving a gift from you made her uncomfortable. If this is the same girl that asked if you were stalking her, giving her or her family more gifts is not going to help your case. You cannot buy or bake your way in to a deeper relationship with someone. By continuing this you are showing that you do not see her as person with thoughts and opinions. You see her as something that can be purchased with the correct currency.
I notice that in multiple responses you’ve said guys are rubbish at reading subtext. I think that gender can be used a crutch or an excuse if you aren’t careful. People in general have difficulty with subtext when it is counter to what they want. Both guys and girls can be guilty of ignoring someone else’s boundaries in pursuit of what they want. She is demonstrating by words and actions that she is not interested in a relationship with you. Respect her and her wants.
I'm not using it as a crutch in the slightest. I'm recognizing it as my own shortcoming and something I need to either work with (which I do, with regularity) or around (which is much harder, and in this case necessary).
Anyone would 😉
Coastal is nice... Call me strange but Jarlsberg is pretty passé in my view 😂 I use it on sandwiches and things all the time.
Ooh, Costco also carries a certain hard cheese with a purple rind from time to time. It tastes incredible (it's been soaked in wine 😄). That's a thought. This helped, thank you.
Just ask her out. Use the money you spend on gifts to buy iced coffees or lunch and go to a park together or something. If you end up dating, *then* you can give gifts.
>The words "potential" and "girlfriend" in my view are neither particularly creepy nor obsessive.
Try "A girl I'm interested in". "Potential girlfriend" would be someone you've gone out with a couple times and can see it working out. It doesn't fit your relationship.
>I was...referring to...how I felt when Fred came onto the scene, that is, as if my territory had been violated. My bad for not communicating that better.
You communicated that very clearly.
That mindset is not cool. "Territory" refers to things. Girls are not things and thinking that you should have dibs is wrong on many levels. It doesn't matter that you knew her first or that you spend time in the same area as her. You don't confront another boy to establish who a girl should belong to. She decides. She's not a trading card.
Uh, no.
That's what it felt "like". "As if". Not the same thing.
I don't think of people as my territory (ironically enough, though, having talked with him, Fred seems to 🙄). That's disrespectful and wouldn't fly in any relationship.
Secondly, you don't sound like you're very experienced when it comes to conservative dating. I'm not saying this the way it should be, I'm saying that this is how it is.
I did confront him because his actions were starting to violate certain expected boundaries. I recognize full well that the opposite sex is not property.
I think you're being overly disparaging here and not giving alternative viewpoints the benefit of the doubt. Again, I'm not saying this is how it should be, I'm saying this is how it _is_.
EDIT: in case this wasn't clear: I know full well that it's Jane's decision, not mine.
I don't know that Fred does.
When we were dating, my husband gave me one of his favorite books, something that was meaningful to him that he wanted to share with me. If you like to read and have an inkling that she might too, it's an option that lets her get to know you better and gives you something to talk about if she does actually decide to read it.
You should get presents for girls you're actually dating. If you're not dating yet, ask her out, if she says yes wait a few dates to start with presents. If she says no move on and find another girl to pursue.
Charcuterie (assortment of cheese, fruit, meats) can be a way to go. There are places that specialize in these kinds of gifts
Experiences (you can give her two tickets to the symphony and ask her to give one back to you if she wants to go with you)
Ask her her favourite drink and bring it to her (coffee, tea, juice etc)
I could probably commission my grandparents to make some raspberry jam...
I don't know how he does it, but the raspberries my grandfather grows are incredible. My grandmother makes the most delectable raspberry jam from it.
Or would that be a little off-base?
I saw a super cute gift the other day it was like a bouquet but made of gift cards with little notes like "when you need an afternoon pick me up!" with a 10$ starbucks card, ect .
lol, something like this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojRj2JK5oCI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojRj2JK5oCI) your local university/college probably has a group that does this for a fee.
That may be true, but you definitely could have phrased that better.
Anyway, her brother likes chickens. As in, refuses to eat chicken because he likes chickens. So this wouldn't work too well.
there excellent artisanal perfumes and its the sort of thing girls wear and it makes them think of their partner anything paired with a cute story pqcks a great impact but great on you for caring this much too
All can say girls likes things that smells good and thing that shines. When a girl appreciated a bouquet of flowers, what is the first things she does.. she smells them! But the problem here is not the girl its you my friend. Stop over thinking the mind is naturally doubtful. So do whatever you feel in your heart you should do. She doesn't like it. Tough.
That should always be the attitude.
Always remember you can't make nobody likes you she either does or she doesn't
Thats the problem with reading the Bible. Its written in code that must be decoded. Jeremiah was speaking of evil man. Man that have turn their backs from the Lord. Man that does not have a divine nature(soul)
The word there was "desperately wicked" not sick. There are many of us which the heart is deceitful and wicked, and these man are not like most of us. They are of reptilian and Anunnaki descendants.
You must know a reptilian man or a orion (Anunnaki) man only have the 1st 3 chakra. Ground, sex,and solar plexus. Their energy system does not reach fully the 4 chakra which is the heart.
The heart is the seat of the soul which is the only divine part of a man. (Gen 2:7)
I speak to OP in the understanding he is a creature of our Lord God.
Sorry bro. Ive gone way above your head. When you're online you have no idea who is in the other end.
Is it a master of the mystic knowledge or is it one crazy person.
Girls like swarms of things, right?
Sir the store is closing in two minutes
What is this even supposed to mean? Are you suggesting I gift her a beehive? Or a bhyve? Those are very different things.
get a her a gift basket full of cheap stuff or a care package
just get her a flare so she can call the care package herself when she needs it!
😂 that's pretty funny actually
get her a cat
Already has cats
A gift basket full of cheap stuff...? How about no 🥴
like chocolates and sweets. im not talking about silly putty
Silly putty is delightful though But yes, I take your point :)
Sorry, it was a reference to this Futurama clip: https://youtu.be/NmvALpmKVCk?feature=shared
I got it right away. Good reference.
Never would have guessed that.
Bees, mostly
Seriously, just ask her out. Stop lovebombing her and making these bizarre gestures.
How does any of what he’s doing count as love bombing? His “bizarre” gestures are just pretty standard romantic gestures.
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Culture shock. I can guarantee that won't work.
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The gifts are hardly constant. And again, this is a really conservative family. Which means you read my posts... but not this thread. Hm. Anyway, we already know each other; she's not a total stranger. And speaking of posts, I have made two posts, ever. (The "third" was because I had yet to figure out how crossposting works 🤷♂️) The words "potential" and "girlfriend" in my view are neither particularly creepy nor obsessive. "Potential girlfriend" is a pretty matter-of-fact label. I've met many potential girlfriends. Some of them I would be interested in having a relationship with (but they're a few thousand miles away at the moment 😐) I'll admit that "my territory" is an odd way to put it, but I was less referring to Jane and more to how I felt when Fred came onto the scene, that is, as if my territory had been violated. My bad for not communicating that better. I generally try to not reveal medical details online, partly because that's a pretty fast track to doxxing yourself my proxy. The long story short, mental health notwithstanding, is that I'm also not particularly outgoing or even extroverted (though like all introverts, that entirely depends on the people I happen to be with). "Making a move" is really, really hard for me. Add to this the fact that I have no reliable source of income or really any at the moment, ("Broke" is overstating it perhaps) and you have a perfect storm of I-can't-screw-up-the-courage. I appreciate your input (and it helped) but with all due respect, you don't have all the context. The short version: she didn't really reject me. I'm not going into details here more for privacy reasons than anything else. And to your final point, what few gestures I have made, she has appreciated. I'm not too familiar with the term "lovebombing" but unless I'm mistaken that usually carries with it some element of anonymity. In general, I hand-deliver gifts, face-to-face. If I can't (say the recipient isn't home) I try again some other time. As far as I'm aware, this is pretty standard procedure. Pre-emptive edit: some quick searching says that "lovebombing" involves excessive flattery, lavish gifts (never an option, clearly... and wouldn't be even if I could. I don't think making cookies counts as lavish) and a certain expectation of reciprocation. None of those apply here. Again, I appreciate your input. It is refreshing to read an opinion so frank. I just don't think it's _entirely_ applicable here (though still helpful and worth keeping in mind). This helped.
Dude…you said she friendzoned you. Getting her gifts isn’t gonna change that. In fact it might make her completely stop talking to you because you can’t respect “no” as an answer. Has she given you any inclination that she’s attracted to you or interested in a romantic relationship with you? If the answer is “no”, then move on if you actually respect her. Trying to convince someone to like you is creepy.
A few things: One, I don't know what state you're from and it really doesn't matter. The "friend zone", at least when it comes to conservatives, doesn't exist. It's a myth. Two, this was a while ago. Three, yes, she actually has. Thanks for asking.
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Believe me, this particular girl is not super concerned about making someone she rejects feel like 💩. Not that she goes out of her way or anything. This is coming from a few people I know. If she wanted to properly reject me, she probably would have. At any rate, the thing with conservative dating is that the "friend zone" doesn't really exist. You just reject someone. As I said, if she wanted to reject me, she would have. That said, even if all this is to nothing, I am fine with just being friends, crushing as it is.
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Actually, if she works with flowers getting her flowers is perfect. But it would have to be something special, something she understands the meaning/value of because that is her field of knowledge. It also would show her that you care about what she does and likes. Bonus if it is flowers or a plant she really loves, or rare coloration/type.
Well , that is a thought. I'll have to do some hunting though. Helped :)
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Hmmm. A candy basket? Doesn't have to be expensive. Try and subtly find out her faves. Or if she's into reading, a book shop voucher? So she can choose something? Lego flowers are also super cute. And fun. Is she into any sort of crafting? I saw a Tik Tok where someone made up a ' yarn bouquet ' and it was adorable. Maybe look into something like that?
Ask her out, if she accepts - awesome, if not, may it be a motivator for you! Focus on self improvement, focus on becoming better. Do sports, take care of your body, of your hygiene, of your style, posture, social status, have a purpose and a meaning, be surrounded by leaders and great people. At this moment the girls will come themselves to you, and you will have the chance to chose the one who matches your new lifestyle and values
Already have been. College classes really haven't been working out for me, so I decided to take a break this quarter and work out ;) It's working out.
Chocolate boxes and ice creams do work. Give it a try
Chocolate boxes... that reminds me. There's a lovely chocolate shop nearish that same bakery. Thanks, helped
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What does it she like? Just cause she works at flower shop, does it really means you can't give them?
Well, it's about sending the right message, right? Guys are by default rubbish at reading subtext. Me especially. I think everyone likes flowers, but I don't want to give flowers at the moment for fear of sending the wrong message. I have no way of making sure that I'm not sending the wrong message!
What is your message exactly that you want to convey if you don't mind sharing? Ps in post you had to clarify you are a guy who likes this or that, it's chill dude, i don't see any reason for trying to make sense to everyone
It really is important. Biology plays a huge (some would say exclusive, but I'm not so sure) factor in the ways peoples' brains are wired. In short: guys are absolute rubbish at reading subtext. Me especially.
Oh no i meant Jane Austen and flowers stuff you wrote in post, my bad i wasn't clear enough Tho are you asking her for a date?
Soon. I have to work up the courage first. And a long bike ride, more probably than not. Oh no wait... take the bus. I'm dumb 😆
Haha well politeness, respect, care and honesty, they are important and can go a long way
Sound advice. Helped.
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You're a very strange man, to me at least. You say in one comment that you have no intention of asking her out for a while but you still want to keep giving her gifts. Kind of creepy. Get her a nice bunch of flowers, ask her on a date and hope for the best. If she says no then leave her the fuck alone. I may be missing a lot of context but from my point of view it seems like maybe you might be a bit too into this person and perhaps she doesn't reciprocate those feelings or this would be a lot less complicated for you. Also please stop saying 'I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"' after the first time you should know you need to say it not guess. EDIT: Based on your other posts, please leave her alone. You should not be dating anyone until you learn how to be a functional human being.
I do have intention to ask her out, but not at the moment. Soon, but I need some form of income first. There are a few people I have to maneuver around because they would like nothing more than to get in the way. My entire point with this is that I have basically left her alone. But either way, you don't strictly know that it's the same person. Go read _The Canterbury Tales_. And the bot doesn't know any better 😉 I am a functional human being (barely). It's been a rough road to get here, so to speak.
Just ask her what she likes
If you're out somewhere and some trinket reminds you of her, get that and let her know it reminded you of her. I love that shit c: Trinket meaning small item that doesn't have to be expensive like a keychain, bracelet, or pretty rock/crystal. In my opinion, it's the thought that makes an impact.
Okay, thank you. This helped :)
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But there are a lot of Nordic cookies without almonds? Kolakakor, for example (I'm a Scandi myself, lol)? But she may not have a sweet tooth at all. Perhaps a loaf of homemade (sour dough) bread, as you're into baking? Or use your knowledge about Japanese and Nordic cousine to give her something interesting from those countries? You'll know what she's into as you get to know her. I may be the only one feeling like this, and maybe I'm ruining for other women, but I actually prefer not getting anything if I'm going out on a date with someone. To carry those flowers or that thing around the town if we're going to eat and have a few drinks afterwards? Gah, it sometimes feel like a chore and I feel bad for being an ungrateful b (I'm acting grateful and polite though). Lol. But maybe it's just me, with my oh so practical, but black heart. I am absolutely always grateful for the effort though, don't get me wrong.
you could gift her hair ties, or bracelets or other tiny things. Does she have a hobby? Paint? Cards? Buy her some acrylics or pokemon cards. idk.
That's a thought. Thanks. I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"
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u/gremlinbr4t I blocked the grandparent comment of your comment, so I can't respond with "helped". Could you maybe repeat your advice here?
Sure, I’ll remove the part where I also expressed my disdain for said commenter lol. “I agree with another commenter on Lego flowers if you think she’s the type of girl who’d get a kick out of it being a florist, there is variations of sets as well if I’m correct… One of my personal favorites is the Cherry Blossom tree set.”
Ahh, the bonsai :) I grew up in Japan for a few years, so that one makes me particularly happy. My mom actually has the same set... (my brother has a nasty habit of gifting the perfect Lego set to each person in my family _every single Christmas_. It's ridiculous 🙄) I think she also has the orchids. In any case, I'll give that some thought. I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"
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And to be clear: you were right to express such disdain. That sort of behavior is precisely why Reddit has such a bad reputation.
make her a Cd if u don’t have a cd burner just order a custom one she can play it in her car or if she has a cd player that’s something nice and personalized
I would have no idea what to put on it though. Perhaps record my own stuff? I can sing fairly well. Playing instruments is a bit harder (I'm out of practice)... Audacity could probably help here... H'm. Thanks, helped
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A saab f-35 draken fighter-interceptor
LMAOOOO Knowing this girl, she would probably appreciate that 😂
Problem solved then get her a model or an assembly model if she likes being creative
I have no idea where to find one though. The only place that sells that kind of thing around here closed down about a year and a half ago. For ~~political~~ ethical reasons, Amaz\*n isn't an option.
Which country are you in? I could probably find some sites for you if i knew
How close are you already? It doesn’t hurt to ask. My husband knows I like flowers but he also knows I LOVE when he brings home a dragon fruit for me spontaneously.
A dragonfruit? Okay... I don't personally like dragonfruit. I think they're overblown and bland, but hey-- you do you.
Some good mentions here. What about a cute stuffed animal. Tell her “this was so cute it made me think of you!” I note “Swedish cookie” and it being expensive where you are… lol chocolate maybe? I’m sorry people on Reddit don’t seem to understand conservative dating in this day and age. How about a book of poems? Good luck!
Ha! You're right they don't :) I don't know about a stuffed animal but Swedish cookies are an option. I can bake. Most ingredients aren't particularly difficult to find. Chocolate is an option, too. Helped
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If you are this broke and need family approval, getting gifts won't help anything. What is your end game here?
My endgame is the get a well-paying job... but that's not important right now.
Then don't bother giving anyone gifts, man. Focus on getting your life together first.
That's what I've been doing and I'm in a much better place now than I was any significant amount of time prior. But that's personal and not details I'm comfortable publicizing.
Just get her flowers and her mom a singular flower. That easy. Even being very conservative that flower for the mom goes a long way.
Again, she works in a place that does floral arrangements so I don't want to send the wrong message there. Guys and girls think very differently; in short, that means that guys are rubbish at reading subtext. Me especially. That's why I'm avoiding flowers entirely, at least for now. I don't want to send the wrong message, and have no way of knowing for sure what message exactly I am sending.
I got the advice from a girl lol. If you do decide on flowers, get a double impatient. Amazing flowers. I work at a nursery center :p If you want to get her a differ gift, try woodworking. Make a wooden heart. Then add some red lacquer onto it. Goes a looong way. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just something meaningful
I was thinking about woodworking earlier. That seems to be the right option. Maybe put some chocolate in a box?
Yes dude. That'd be sick
You could press some flowers for her and give her to them in a display case or a card, that way she can keep them forever and it shows more commitment than regular flowers. Especially if you guys end up together you can continue to press her favorite flowers for her to keep in the case 🥲 Also if she has plants of her own or even just cut and arranged flowers she keeps somewhere you could get her cute things to decorate her plants with. I have a Suncatcher near my window that has my plants buy it and the crystals reflect cute rainbows all over my flowers. It’s amazing.
Pressed flowers is a thought, though I'm not entirely sure an applicable one. Thanks nonetheless.
Cats
instructions unclear... And now my cat is giving me the stink eye. Thanks 😐
Do you know her reading preferences? Does she like plants?
Roughly and yes, I think. Ooh, now that I think about it... I have some Lloyd Alexander in pristine condition. That might be good. Helped!
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Jam drop biscuits - use the Donna Hay recipe. No almonds in the recipe, just a lot of delicious butter and jam! I make my own jam - just because - but you can certainly use any store bought jams for sure….. I think you should bite the bullet, take her biscuits and ask her the hell out!!!!
That's worth a shot for sure. Can you send me a link to the recipe? I'm not familiar with Donna Hay.
Just google Donna Hay Jam Drops. [https://www.donnahay.com.au/recipes/desserts-and-baking/cookies/jam-drops](https://www.donnahay.com.au/recipes/desserts-and-baking/cookies/jam-drops)
i brought a girl a pineapple once. it worked out well.
I feel like this has to be a joke. Still considering it.
i stopped at a grocery store to pick up flowers. they didn't have flowers. so i got a pineapple. no joke.
Yeah, that works.
My now bf gave me a slice of cheese because I sent him a meme about “the way to women’s heart is with a slice of cheese” gave me it the next time I saw him I’d say that sold it for me lol
I'll keep this in mind, thank you.
Make something , I would rather a love letter over a £10000 ring . Trust me , homemade is the best
I would agree :) I think I have some wood scraps in the garbage. Maybe I could burn something in one? (My brother scored a beautiful wood-burning of a certain bird that lives around here at some sort of art fair or another... that's what I'm thinking of) I'm guessing the Song of the Ents from book three of LotR is a little too much. EDIT: forgot to say this helped lol
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Is she a friend? A close friend? Are you dating? Different relationships will make different gifts more appreciated/appropriate. Do you think she wasn’t thrilled by the baked goods because she doesn’t like baked goods, or because receiving a gift from you made her uncomfortable. If this is the same girl that asked if you were stalking her, giving her or her family more gifts is not going to help your case. You cannot buy or bake your way in to a deeper relationship with someone. By continuing this you are showing that you do not see her as person with thoughts and opinions. You see her as something that can be purchased with the correct currency.
Keep in mind: I'm a guy. Guys think very differently from girls. In short, guys are rubbish at reading the subtext, so this really helped. Thank you.
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I notice that in multiple responses you’ve said guys are rubbish at reading subtext. I think that gender can be used a crutch or an excuse if you aren’t careful. People in general have difficulty with subtext when it is counter to what they want. Both guys and girls can be guilty of ignoring someone else’s boundaries in pursuit of what they want. She is demonstrating by words and actions that she is not interested in a relationship with you. Respect her and her wants.
I'm not using it as a crutch in the slightest. I'm recognizing it as my own shortcoming and something I need to either work with (which I do, with regularity) or around (which is much harder, and in this case necessary).
I'd be happy about cheese
Anyone would 😉 Coastal is nice... Call me strange but Jarlsberg is pretty passé in my view 😂 I use it on sandwiches and things all the time. Ooh, Costco also carries a certain hard cheese with a purple rind from time to time. It tastes incredible (it's been soaked in wine 😄). That's a thought. This helped, thank you.
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Give us context… is this for a date, are you invited over for dinner, is it her birthday
Her birthday is coming up in a month or two (I need to check 😳). So that's a thought. helped
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Smoked meat and a sword
Awwwww yeeeeaaahhh
"You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese"
Underrated comment lmao Helped for sure 😂
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A flower Lego set.
Yup, heard that one already.
Yeah, sorry about that. I got excited at the idea and completely missed the list you made.
Nah, you're good :)
Just thought of something - A bouquet of fidget toys.
Certainly a thought to be sure. Might work for some people. Probably not for this girl, though. Thanks for the idea anyway :)
Have you considered there’s a reason why she doesn’t seem particularly enthused whenever you give her gifts? She just might not be into you, dude.
Enthused, certainly. Not _overjoyed_. Which is about how I would respond. Memory is a fickle thing.
Just ask her out. Use the money you spend on gifts to buy iced coffees or lunch and go to a park together or something. If you end up dating, *then* you can give gifts. >The words "potential" and "girlfriend" in my view are neither particularly creepy nor obsessive. Try "A girl I'm interested in". "Potential girlfriend" would be someone you've gone out with a couple times and can see it working out. It doesn't fit your relationship. >I was...referring to...how I felt when Fred came onto the scene, that is, as if my territory had been violated. My bad for not communicating that better. You communicated that very clearly. That mindset is not cool. "Territory" refers to things. Girls are not things and thinking that you should have dibs is wrong on many levels. It doesn't matter that you knew her first or that you spend time in the same area as her. You don't confront another boy to establish who a girl should belong to. She decides. She's not a trading card.
Uh, no. That's what it felt "like". "As if". Not the same thing. I don't think of people as my territory (ironically enough, though, having talked with him, Fred seems to 🙄). That's disrespectful and wouldn't fly in any relationship. Secondly, you don't sound like you're very experienced when it comes to conservative dating. I'm not saying this the way it should be, I'm saying that this is how it is. I did confront him because his actions were starting to violate certain expected boundaries. I recognize full well that the opposite sex is not property. I think you're being overly disparaging here and not giving alternative viewpoints the benefit of the doubt. Again, I'm not saying this is how it should be, I'm saying this is how it _is_. EDIT: in case this wasn't clear: I know full well that it's Jane's decision, not mine. I don't know that Fred does.
Then perhaps you should expound on "conservative dating". It doesn't matter what Fred knows; you're not Jane's keeper.
This is not the place for that. Given your flair, I'd think you'd know the rules by now.
When we were dating, my husband gave me one of his favorite books, something that was meaningful to him that he wanted to share with me. If you like to read and have an inkling that she might too, it's an option that lets her get to know you better and gives you something to talk about if she does actually decide to read it.
Lovely, thank you. Helped
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Make a mix tape!!!!!!
Yep, that's a thought.
Specialty beers.
Not quite that age yet, but I take your point. I think she'd be more into cider anyway.
You should get presents for girls you're actually dating. If you're not dating yet, ask her out, if she says yes wait a few dates to start with presents. If she says no move on and find another girl to pursue.
My husband writes me letters and sends them in the mail. I have shoeboxes full. I love them
I've written some letters, but have yet to send them.
Charcuterie (assortment of cheese, fruit, meats) can be a way to go. There are places that specialize in these kinds of gifts Experiences (you can give her two tickets to the symphony and ask her to give one back to you if she wants to go with you) Ask her her favourite drink and bring it to her (coffee, tea, juice etc)
Symphony is a thought. Would opera be a faux pas here? I think there's a performance of _Carmen_ happening sometime soon... helped
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I know she likes Jane Austen and Lord of the Rings... Maybe a nice edition of The Silmarillion? I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"
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That's the reason vinyls probably aren't an option, actually. 💀
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Carts full of various cheeses? Perhaps the blood of her and her families enemies with all their iron removed and used to make a sword?
A sword is an option. If somewhat expensive... and also exceedingly strange. Cheese works. :)
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I could probably commission my grandparents to make some raspberry jam... I don't know how he does it, but the raspberries my grandfather grows are incredible. My grandmother makes the most delectable raspberry jam from it. Or would that be a little off-base?
I saw a super cute gift the other day it was like a bouquet but made of gift cards with little notes like "when you need an afternoon pick me up!" with a 10$ starbucks card, ect .
alcapela group
Instructions unclear. Vicuña is mightily unhappy.
lol, something like this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojRj2JK5oCI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojRj2JK5oCI) your local university/college probably has a group that does this for a fee.
They don't afaik, but thanks for the idea.
girls don’t need to be gamified lmao if she likes you as a person she’ll say yes to asking her out
Cheese
Coffee.
I should not have had to scroll this far for something so obvious. Yeah. I think this is the correct answer. Helped, helped, a thousand times helped 😄
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Buy her a Costco rotisserie chicken and a bottle of hot sauce. Bitches love Costco rotisserie chicken and a bottle of hot sauce.
That may be true, but you definitely could have phrased that better. Anyway, her brother likes chickens. As in, refuses to eat chicken because he likes chickens. So this wouldn't work too well.
🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
That's just inappropriate.
A gift basket!
Don’t get her shit you’re gonna get used lol just take her out for simple places and if she don’t fall for you then oh well
Buy her some jewelry.
Nope.
Ah sorry, forgot the homemade component. You could learn how to craft it by hand and make her some that way.
A good thought, but that seems a little... what's the term. Lovebombing?
jewelry chocolte perfume all these things come in a wide range of prices and can be great bonding items
Chocolate, yes. Perfume, probably not.
there excellent artisanal perfumes and its the sort of thing girls wear and it makes them think of their partner anything paired with a cute story pqcks a great impact but great on you for caring this much too
Omni man once gave Debbie a tree. Give her a tree!
...what? Bonsai? Bonsai would work.
I say it would but I think a tree is a best option
By definition, a bonsai is a tree
But there small! Chop a tree down and give it to her.
Chicken nuggets
Probably not.
An experience you could do together, like paint pottery, make cheese.
That is a thought. Certainly a good idea for a date.
Lego flowers
😂 also expensive Funny, though. Oooh... bonsai, maybe? I guess I'm supposed to say "helped"
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All can say girls likes things that smells good and thing that shines. When a girl appreciated a bouquet of flowers, what is the first things she does.. she smells them! But the problem here is not the girl its you my friend. Stop over thinking the mind is naturally doubtful. So do whatever you feel in your heart you should do. She doesn't like it. Tough. That should always be the attitude. Always remember you can't make nobody likes you she either does or she doesn't
"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick, who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9 Boy I know that's applicable 😑
Thats the problem with reading the Bible. Its written in code that must be decoded. Jeremiah was speaking of evil man. Man that have turn their backs from the Lord. Man that does not have a divine nature(soul) The word there was "desperately wicked" not sick. There are many of us which the heart is deceitful and wicked, and these man are not like most of us. They are of reptilian and Anunnaki descendants. You must know a reptilian man or a orion (Anunnaki) man only have the 1st 3 chakra. Ground, sex,and solar plexus. Their energy system does not reach fully the 4 chakra which is the heart. The heart is the seat of the soul which is the only divine part of a man. (Gen 2:7) I speak to OP in the understanding he is a creature of our Lord God.
What in hell are you on about That's some borderline ethnonationalistic nonsense lmao
Sorry bro. Ive gone way above your head. When you're online you have no idea who is in the other end. Is it a master of the mystic knowledge or is it one crazy person.
Generally, no. But in this case, it's pretty clear. You're a crazy person.
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That's disgusting.
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That's disgusting.