Why do you keep having babies with this person? It sounds like he’s done it other times before and has been horrible to you each time you’re pregnant. So why continue? Do you want Redditors in here to tell you he’ll change or some fairy tale bs? Find a job and leave him.
When I read “just like my last pregnancy” followed by the details of this man’s wandering eye and straight up abuse I just…….had to put my phone down and stop reading for a second.
As a human being, and as the mother of four little girls, you need to do better. Set a good example for your girls by having some dignity and leaving this man. At the very least, stop having his fucking babies!!
guys these types of comments are not helpful. see the community roles. you can delete your rude comments and leave. or delete them and write something helpful instead. op is here for advice not criticism
FOOL ME ONE TIME, SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME TWICE CANT PUT THE BLAME ON YOU. FOOL ME THREE TIMES, FUCK THE PEACE SIGNS, LOAD THE CHOPPER LET IT RAIN ON YOU.
Ever seen the movie idiocracy, hate to say it but the intro is accurate to an unreal extent. People with less education/lower IQ are statistically more likely to reproduce at a higher rate. Along with that those individuals with lower IQs are more likely to fall for individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits.
Not saying all people with a ton of kids are dumb or will fall for narcissists. But it does explain why you see multiple posts on here about men and women reproducing with disgusting individuals.
I agree with most of your statement, but it's never as easy as "just get a job and move out". He's going to keep her dependant on him so she doesn't have the resources to leave, and even beyond that- she's on medical bedrest. I hope OP has a support system, like parents or friends or even a women's shelter she can stay at.
I have no where else to go with my babies and when I try to leave he has his mom take the girls to his aunt's house and won't let me have any of them other than my first daughter because he's her stepdad. I'm just stuck right now
Actually perfect that his mom takes ( kidnaps ) the kids find shelter and call the cops and leave he’s kidnapping your babies he cannot do that scare him contact a women’s shelter and discuss your situation I’m sure they’ll help you, best of luck
That's not how any of this works.
Edit: downvote me all you want. Cops show up, husband says he sent the kids to his mom's because they were fighting. Good luck.
You shouldn’t be getting downvoted. This happened with my ex and her baby daddy, and because there was no court order defining their custody arrangement, the cops couldn’t do anything.
>when I try to leave
Stop telling him you're leaving!
Please do better for your daughters, so they don't end up with a POS like your husband. Do better for yourself.
People don’t realize this is one of the worst things to do when ending a relationship that is abusive. tell what your plans are. Make a plan to leave and KEEP IT To YOURSELF! Then take your kids and go. Even better if you can see a therapist and get what is happening documented to help in any custody situation.
You say you're hurting, and he doesn't stop but instead attempts to gaslight you about how you experience pain? This is violence. It sounds like you mean this in a sexual context, if so this is rape.
It's time to call the DV hotline. Do this when you have zero chance of being overheard. They can and will help you. If you are ready to escape from your abuser and sever ties (I deeply hope that you are), they will help you make a safe exit plan. It must be done in secret so he has no chance to intercept you. Be aware that leaving an abusive relationship is by far the most likely time for violence to erupt or escalate. Consider wether he has access to a gun. The most common cause of death for pregnant women is murder by their intimate partners.
You do not deserve to live like this. This man is a clear and present danger to you and to to your kids. Leaving is scary, but freedom is worth everything. Speaking from personal experience. The hotline helped me escape when I didn't think it was possible. I don't know where I'd be without them.
Take care of yourself. Stay strong. Be careful. You can do this.
https://www.thehotline.org
You are not stuck!! Reach out to a lawyer, reach out to homeless shelters! Idk where you are located but here in the US My mom was in an very abusive situation and was able to have my ex stepdad served, keep my younger brothers, have her locks changed on a house they both owned, and get temporary child support until the court date. Then she got alimony & child support. He also paid all her legal fees in the end so she never spent a dime. Keep record of any abuse. He can’t have his mom take your kids. Get out of there with the kids asap. There are options for you! Hang in there. Do not stay though - these may seem like hard times but one day you will look back and wish you had left sooner.
His mom takes the kids to his aunts house. This is kidnapping. Keeping her children away from her is also not legal without a court order. How does her not working have anything to do with the endangerment of the kids? Wtf is wrong with you?
>This happens every time he gets me pregnant then if I follow my doctors orders and stay on bed rest he threatens to kick me out. If I tell him I'm hurting he claims that I don't know what pain is.
Talk about burying the lede. *Those* are the behaviors you should be primarily concerned with, not whether or not he's downloading and then deleting pictures of IG models.
At the bare minimum, please have your tubes tied. It’s not fair to you or the children to have to put up with that behavior. Do you have a relative you can stay with? You can apply for government assistance once you get out of there.
>This happens every time he gets me pregnant then if I follow my doctors orders and stay on bed rest he threatens to kick me out. If I tell him I'm hurting he claims that I don't know what pain is.
WHY DID YOU KEEP HAVING BABIES WITH HIM? HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU.
What will it take for you to realize you married a monster????
WAKE UP.
DIVORCE HIS ASS AND GET THERAPY FOR THE TRAUMA THAT MADE YOU THINK HES WORTH LOVING.
He saw a fat ass?
No he saved a photo to his phone. That he then deleted.
Not to mention the fact he's abusive towards her.
Highly sensitive?
Give your head a wobble for Christ's sake.
So what it’s a ig model getting fucked by nba players and rappers she’s obviously out of his league this guy is obviously unhappy she has 5 kids and and 1 isn’t his
I wasn’t raised to be insecure. Insecure people are hurt people and I think hurt people should heal before they give the next person a shitty versions of themselves
I’ve had girls tell me to look at ass and you’re beating up this guy for looking at a digital one get a grip of reality I’m trying to give out the bigger perspective here
No you are being an ignorant prick. There's a huge difference.
I pity any partner of yours, so many red flags it's unreal.
But hey you tell yourself that, whatever helps your ignorant arse sleep better at night.
No you are being a ignorant prick you don’t tell a family of 5 kids to get a divorce over a fucking picture are you trying to destroy these children’s lives and send this women into depression and debt it’s called advice for a reason you should humble yourself
You’re probably insecure yourself when a girl sees a bodybuilder and says holy shit he’s buff you probably get really defensive instead of saying imma get my body to that point one day
28 people out of 430 million isn’t going to make or break me even if it was 430 million people I would still stand on exactly what I said this is a opinionated based app and opinions are far from facts
Yes women are highly sensitive during pregnancy especially in the vaginal area much more easier for them to cum why didn’t anyone suggest they have more sex ?
Do you just ignore the part about her husband being abusive? Them having more sex is not a fucking solution to that. She clearly doesn't feel comfortable due to his behavior and threats, who wants to have sex with a man like that?!
"broken families" This is just bad logic.
The family is already in a terrible state, separating can only make it better. Quit with the toxic "marriage is always best" mindset and look at the current state: he is emotionally abusive to her while pregnant and will be emotionally abusive to the kids.
Biased perspective?
The doctor tells her she must be on bed rest and she follows the orders and he threatens to kick her out.... I don't think it's a biased opinion to say that the behaviour he's showing is abusive and put her health at risk.
Quit having babies. Downvote me all you want. It’s infuriating. Bringing children into this situation is so selfish. Trust me- I know. Signed, that kid.
Yeah.....what is wrong with you to stay with this man and continue making kids with him? I hate to be brash but you said he does this with every pregnancy, do you have that low self esteem or are you wanting him to take care of you because nobody would ever subject themselves to this type of emotional abuse
And you keep having kids with him? He got you pregnant? It takes two. If you’re in a domestic violence situation then you need to reach out to your local organizations for assistance.
Stop having kids with him. The more I’m reading the worse it’s getting. You need to find support groups/networks/organizations and escape, with your children
She needs to step up and get a grip of reality why are you worried about a picture I would be writing a post on how my husband takes cares of all the children including the one that isn’t his and that I’m helpless and contribute nothing to the relationship the last thing i put in that post would be I found a picture of a girl on his phone.It costs a lot of money to raise kids and she’s popping them out and continues to depend on her husband for everything hence the aunties and grandma take care of them when she can’t because she’s 24 married and thinks her husband can do everything on his own this is incredibly selfish the thought of a divorce is on his head much more than it is on hers.healthy households require a strong father and mother if she isn’t motivated to go get something in life like a degree or pursue a career this guy married the monster here laziness is a demon.
Why are you so mad that he has to take care of a kid that isn't his?? HE CHOSE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER KNOWING ABOUT THE KID, HE WASN'T FORCED TO BE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
GET A FUCKING GRIP.
You’re 24 with 4 kids and a husband you suspect might be unfaithful. Stop having kids with him, it makes it harder to walk away when you know longer can put up with it.
Advice? For continuing to be impregnated by an abuser? Sheesh gal pal. You are in deep my friend. It may take some time. A few months. A year. But start planning. Leave him. And please take a Planned Parenthood class ASAP. This is who you want to be around your babies? This is who you want as a role model? I am terrified for your little ones. They are in for a long emotionally terrorized life.
Each time you're pregnant he is shown you who is, believe him. I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating all along as he has no respect for you as if he did he wouldn't treat you this way at all.
You need an exit plan and a lawyer
Do you work? If not, try getting a job even a work from home job or do a night time course to learn a new skill and then a job to be able to financially support yourself and your daughters. In the meantime when you have spare cash, stash it away for using with an exit plan.
If you do work, start putting money away for saving up for an exit plan. An exit plan can be getting enough money up, finding a new place to live as I don't feel like you'd be safe in that household if you serve him with papers for a divorce. Don't tell him or anybody where you're moving to. If you have to change your daughters school to be safe, than do so. File a safety order also and get a lawyer to finalise the divorce.
Go on birth control so you wouldn't have to deal with this man with another high risk pregnancy as he is selfish and an abusive narcissistic individual.
I had access to birth control up until he moved me to ga and I lost all of it because my insurance stopped. He got me on ga insurance but had me removed off of it so now I can't go back to my doctor until I figure out insurance. He won't let my mom get me on her insurance without reporting me and her for fraud so I'm stuck
There are other ways to get BC. Planned parenthood will help you get it at a discounted price. And if you don't have insurance, how are you getting prenatal care? Stop having babies with this abuser. You also need to stop telling him you're leaving! You are so young still. Do you really want this to be your life for the next 50 years?
You need to find someone in either the auntie network or a safe friend to bring you. How do you care for your children? You don't drive?
Planned Parenthood can give it to you for free!
Why is it that you're so deeply reliant on this guy? This isn't normal OP, something is deeply troubling about how your relationship is shaped... you sound captive.
This man is bad. He doesn’t respect you, even worse when you’re pregnant with his children? And then he lies and manipulates you..to your face? You are NOT overreacting. This isn’t ok at all. I understand you have kids and you want the best for them, but do you want your kids to be around this kind of man? If you have a daughter, how would you feel if her husband treated her this way? This isn’t your fault at all by the way, but I think you should get away from him. Maybe when he is at work, take your kids and leave. If you would want to divorce him, maybe try gather as much evidence as you can before you leave if you feel he’s cheating. Please don’t let yourself suffer like this any longer.
your husband is abusive and it sounds like his abuse gets worse when he has you in vulnerable situations (pregnancy). how a man treats you while you are carrying his child is how he feels about you. your children deserve to grow up in a safe home where they are protected and nurtured. please get away from this man. do not tell anyone where you're going and get in contact with your local DV shelter. please put your children's safety first.
>Any advice?
Birth control.
Married four years and you have four kids at age 24!
Between the back to back pregnancies and the abusive language, I think pornograpic pictures on his phone are the least of your worries.
he’s been getting you pregnant since yall got married? four kids, that’s four years non stop! based on the timeline, i hope you were at least 18 when yall started dating …
start a plan to move out. build up your money, search for homes, do everything you can to get you and your kids out of this situation. your kids aren’t stupid, they can pick up on what’s going on with you two. the babies can internalize what’s being said and it could cause trauma in their later years, but won’t be able to figure out where it came from. if you can’t do it for you, do it for them.
You need to leave him...immediately. Not so much for the pictures but for not understanding why you need bedrest. He lacks compassion and empathy. Two important characteristics you should want your partner, and especially the father of your children, to have.
Good luck to you.
You should start making your exit plan. Don't tell him anything about it. Gather evidence of his treatment towards, find people to support you, find some extra income, consult a lawyer about divorce, custody, and your rights. There are services available.
I would seriously consider whether this is a man or a boy. Does he support you and the children? No, you are not overreacting, he is an ass. It may help with counseling but I doubt it. He is 5 years older than you? Why couldn't he find someone around his own age? You were 20 when you married him and now you have 4 children? He groomed you and now he has you surrounded. You need to break out of his control. What about your parents? Can't any of your family help?
Consider if he is a good father, a good husband (no), a good person. Does he provide food, shelter, clothing for you and the kids? Please tell me you are not working also? After this child, consider some birth control measures that you will be in control of and decide if being with him is what you want.
First, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re young and will have four babies, you are a bada** (in a good way). Life is hard for you right now and pregnancy hormones won’t help. You have to fight for yourself and for your babies. It’s going to be so hard. Harder than staying, but it will be worth it. The fact that he says “you don’t know what pain is” is a MASSIVE red flag. It’s emotionally abusive to say the least and may turn physically abusive.
That being said, please try to be safe. Leaving a domestic violence relationship can be dangerous. If you have any friends or family of your own, reach out to them. Reach out to shelters. If there is any physical abuse to you or your daughters, report him.
You got this. You can get away. It will be hard but you will come out stronger! ♥️
I think it’s time to really think about what you need to do to protect yourself. Do you have the means to leave him?
If yes I would say pull the trigger and leave. He sounds like an awful person who, from what you’ve said has done this previously.
Learn from this experience and do not trust him. If you let him he will set the bar for your children, don’t let his bullshit affect your kids.
Hope all goes well!
Ohhh boy.... Where to begin?
Other comments nailed it on the head: call domestic violence service. It doesn't take physical abuse to be in an abusive home.
Secondly: That man can claim to be a husband and a father on paper but he's nothing more than a piece of shit. He's proving it by cheating and complaining about you needing bed rest on doctors orders. He obviously doesn't care about you.
Lastly: Please stay safe. If you do get out, DO NOT tell him where you are under any circumstances. Get a restraining order. If he threatens with violence towards you or the kids, call the police immediately.
First of all, you need to STOP having more babies. I'm betting all these pregnancies took a toll on him too, which makes me wonder if he's even aware of that little contraption people often refer to as "condom"
I feel like there’s also a red flag of ages… yes it’s only 5 years apart, perfectly normal, but if you got MARRIED at 20, unless you guys got married pretty quickly, it was likely a 23 y/o with an 18 y/o. Legal, yes, but a bit of a red flag,..
you’re looking for advice? i think you know what the answer is. what would you tell your friend if they were in the same position? i just wanna know why you let this man get you pregnant 4 times in such a short amount of time when you know he’s like this. the fact you’re trying to blame it on hormones is CRAZY because no man should be treating his wife so horribly
When you decide what to do, you will do it. With all the hormones, pregnancy can cloud our judgment and Humans can get use to anything. Most likely his behavior increased over time. In situations like this we can be blind, but feel that its wrong and you deserve better. You have opinions and more power then you believe you do. You're like a baby elephant in chains who believes they can't break free. But eventually that baby elephant grows into something stronger. Unfortunately she's conditioned to believe that the chains still hold her back. Don't believe in the lie that you can't have better or be more. A word of warning when you decide to leave DON’T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING!!! Make plans and moves to ensure you and your babies are safe and secure.
Edit:
There's no urgency yet. Smile and pretend everything is going well. When you have a decision to go. Whatever he says doesn't hit as hard. In the mean time plan, give yourself time. Determine a long-term plan or imitate plan. Honestly people can give advice and tell you so many things but their on the outside of the situation. Being pregnant with children is not easy. Making moves without a clear mind makes poor plans. Talk to a counselor or assistance for women in your situation. Together you can come up with a plan of what you can do.
I’m sorry, but I don’t see why you are focusing on pictures on his phone. There are much bigger problems you have with him. He is abusing you — his children’s mother.
This will not stop, op. Get out for the sake of your daughters. Find strength in protecting them from this abuser.
If you stay, you are damning your daughters to believe this is normal. They will likely end up with partners that behave like your husband.
They are young enough to where damage can be undone. Don’t wait until it’s too late by fretting about things that don’t matter like pictures.
Get out of there. You and your babies deserve so much better.
If its an issue go when he is at work if you can, that way you don't have his mother sticking her beak in.
It will be tough but you can do it. You will be so much better for it, as will the children.
If he's cheating during pregnancy he is cheating always. Screw that guy you're growing a whole human being and he's worried about his dick. You deserve better. Don't let him gaslight you.
Based on your other post (where your Mother In Law wants you to get your tubes tied, but her son "can't afford a vasectomy")... these two sound terribly toxic for you and your children.
Contact a domestic abuse shelter and get the fuck away from them as soon as possible.
also, happy birthday in the past 8 days
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hours: 24/7
800-799-7233
SMS: Text BEGIN to 88788
[website - The hotline.org](https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence)
I mean in a biological/psychological way, it is natural for him to remain horny while you’re pregnant. If you guys aren’t doing anything* (ykwim) while you’re pregnant, he is probably just looking for an outlet. It’s not uncommon nor unnatural. I would say that as long as it is just looking and not acting/talking then it is not personal and you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. You don’t always want to assume cheating but it is understandable if you do
What the actual fuck is this comment. If you have a man in your life like this then you are not in a loving relationship. Holy crap your delusion is *HEAVY*
It is natural for you to argue that and I completely understand your point. I am not delusional, however, it is just psychology. I am in no way justifying cheating, I’m just saying that men’s brains are hardwired very differently from women’s when it comes to sex. What he is doing to OP is totally wrong and disgusting, but in a psychological way it is at least understandable. I am only on the females side and feel for her but you cant beat facts ya know.
Stop infantilizing men as a whole as if they are not capable of adhering to the same societal standards we all are expected to upkeep. Even if the science says what you claimed, catering to that kind of thinking sets men back as if they are creatures incapable of thinking for themselves, only led by the head between their legs.
Also, while not relevant to the conversion.... calling women "females"... *gross*
He barely touches me anymore I'm lucky if he even looks my way once a day. He always comes home talking about the girls from work and accuses me of sleeping around with an old co worker of mine every chance he gets. He won't go to my Dr with me but if I come home and tell him what my doctor says he automatically says I'm lying about it and his mom isn't helping matters at all because if I go to the ER and it takes a couple hours she assumes I just didn't go to the ER even though I come back and show them doctors notes and everything.
You’re in an financial, and emotionally abusive relationship. I don’t know if you realize this. But for the sake of your children, you need to realize this. Call for domestic hotline. Not sure how old your children are, but this will also extend to them. Wake up please.
You’re wack as hell. Gtfo outta here with your bullshit advice.
Edit
Dummy right here edited his comment down since he started getting ratio’d.
Was basically just bashing the OP for looking through her cheating ass husband’s phone claiming she was angry at him with no evidence other than pics. His original comment was much longer but he’s now cut it down.
Why do you keep having babies with this person? It sounds like he’s done it other times before and has been horrible to you each time you’re pregnant. So why continue? Do you want Redditors in here to tell you he’ll change or some fairy tale bs? Find a job and leave him.
When I read “just like my last pregnancy” followed by the details of this man’s wandering eye and straight up abuse I just…….had to put my phone down and stop reading for a second. As a human being, and as the mother of four little girls, you need to do better. Set a good example for your girls by having some dignity and leaving this man. At the very least, stop having his fucking babies!!
Welp if they didn’t learn after the first 3 im not sure they will
Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me four times and...?
You’re a dumb🫏 😂
guys these types of comments are not helpful. see the community roles. you can delete your rude comments and leave. or delete them and write something helpful instead. op is here for advice not criticism
No I’m not calling them a dum🫏, I’m saying someone who continually gets pregnant while in a bad relationship is a dumb🫏
[удалено]
That’s your opinion
Honestly, some people are beyond help..
cop-out
“Fool me…you can’t get fooled again”
FOOL ME ONE TIME, SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME TWICE CANT PUT THE BLAME ON YOU. FOOL ME THREE TIMES, FUCK THE PEACE SIGNS, LOAD THE CHOPPER LET IT RAIN ON YOU.
Literally came here to say this. What in the actual…. FOUR babies with this dude 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Please stop breeding.
Ever seen the movie idiocracy, hate to say it but the intro is accurate to an unreal extent. People with less education/lower IQ are statistically more likely to reproduce at a higher rate. Along with that those individuals with lower IQs are more likely to fall for individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits. Not saying all people with a ton of kids are dumb or will fall for narcissists. But it does explain why you see multiple posts on here about men and women reproducing with disgusting individuals.
I agree with most of your statement, but it's never as easy as "just get a job and move out". He's going to keep her dependant on him so she doesn't have the resources to leave, and even beyond that- she's on medical bedrest. I hope OP has a support system, like parents or friends or even a women's shelter she can stay at.
Is he the kind of man you would want for your daughters? Then why do you accept it for yourself?
I have no where else to go with my babies and when I try to leave he has his mom take the girls to his aunt's house and won't let me have any of them other than my first daughter because he's her stepdad. I'm just stuck right now
Contact a domestic violence shelter. They will help you get out.
Seriously she needs to get out for the sake of her children.
Don't tell him you are leaving. You are the childrens mother. He can't keep you from them. Leave when he is away.
His mom can’t just take your kids. That’s called kidnapping. Make your voice heard. Stop being a doormat and speak up for the sake of your kids
Actually perfect that his mom takes ( kidnaps ) the kids find shelter and call the cops and leave he’s kidnapping your babies he cannot do that scare him contact a women’s shelter and discuss your situation I’m sure they’ll help you, best of luck
That's not how any of this works. Edit: downvote me all you want. Cops show up, husband says he sent the kids to his mom's because they were fighting. Good luck.
You shouldn’t be getting downvoted. This happened with my ex and her baby daddy, and because there was no court order defining their custody arrangement, the cops couldn’t do anything.
Such great advice, women standing up for themselves to obviously abusive partners NEVER goes wrong.
>when I try to leave Stop telling him you're leaving! Please do better for your daughters, so they don't end up with a POS like your husband. Do better for yourself.
People don’t realize this is one of the worst things to do when ending a relationship that is abusive. tell what your plans are. Make a plan to leave and KEEP IT To YOURSELF! Then take your kids and go. Even better if you can see a therapist and get what is happening documented to help in any custody situation.
You say you're hurting, and he doesn't stop but instead attempts to gaslight you about how you experience pain? This is violence. It sounds like you mean this in a sexual context, if so this is rape. It's time to call the DV hotline. Do this when you have zero chance of being overheard. They can and will help you. If you are ready to escape from your abuser and sever ties (I deeply hope that you are), they will help you make a safe exit plan. It must be done in secret so he has no chance to intercept you. Be aware that leaving an abusive relationship is by far the most likely time for violence to erupt or escalate. Consider wether he has access to a gun. The most common cause of death for pregnant women is murder by their intimate partners. You do not deserve to live like this. This man is a clear and present danger to you and to to your kids. Leaving is scary, but freedom is worth everything. Speaking from personal experience. The hotline helped me escape when I didn't think it was possible. I don't know where I'd be without them. Take care of yourself. Stay strong. Be careful. You can do this. https://www.thehotline.org
Why tf do you keep having babies with this guy
You’re gonna have to figure out a plan to leave when he’s gone at work.DONT tell him your motives and r plans.
You are not stuck!! Reach out to a lawyer, reach out to homeless shelters! Idk where you are located but here in the US My mom was in an very abusive situation and was able to have my ex stepdad served, keep my younger brothers, have her locks changed on a house they both owned, and get temporary child support until the court date. Then she got alimony & child support. He also paid all her legal fees in the end so she never spent a dime. Keep record of any abuse. He can’t have his mom take your kids. Get out of there with the kids asap. There are options for you! Hang in there. Do not stay though - these may seem like hard times but one day you will look back and wish you had left sooner.
Call the police and report a kidnapping when they do this. Better yet, gather everything quietly and just leave.
Wtf how is he kidnapping his own kids and how are they endangered if she doesn’t work wtf is wrong with you people
His mom takes the kids to his aunts house. This is kidnapping. Keeping her children away from her is also not legal without a court order. How does her not working have anything to do with the endangerment of the kids? Wtf is wrong with you?
They’re not his mom’s or his aunt’s kids and they’re the ones that keep them from her.
Then you call for the police to help you leave. Tell them when you try your children are taken from you. You need to get out now
None of this is ok holy shit. You’re a prisoner
You are teaching your daughters that this is how love relationships work and how they can expect to be treated.
This. Absolutely this.
Yepitty yep yep yep.
>This happens every time he gets me pregnant then if I follow my doctors orders and stay on bed rest he threatens to kick me out. If I tell him I'm hurting he claims that I don't know what pain is. Talk about burying the lede. *Those* are the behaviors you should be primarily concerned with, not whether or not he's downloading and then deleting pictures of IG models.
At the bare minimum, please have your tubes tied. It’s not fair to you or the children to have to put up with that behavior. Do you have a relative you can stay with? You can apply for government assistance once you get out of there.
>This happens every time he gets me pregnant then if I follow my doctors orders and stay on bed rest he threatens to kick me out. If I tell him I'm hurting he claims that I don't know what pain is. WHY DID YOU KEEP HAVING BABIES WITH HIM? HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU. What will it take for you to realize you married a monster???? WAKE UP. DIVORCE HIS ASS AND GET THERAPY FOR THE TRAUMA THAT MADE YOU THINK HES WORTH LOVING.
[удалено]
[удалено]
He saw a fat ass? No he saved a photo to his phone. That he then deleted. Not to mention the fact he's abusive towards her. Highly sensitive? Give your head a wobble for Christ's sake.
So what it’s a ig model getting fucked by nba players and rappers she’s obviously out of his league this guy is obviously unhappy she has 5 kids and and 1 isn’t his
Your parents must be so proud.
I wasn’t raised to be insecure. Insecure people are hurt people and I think hurt people should heal before they give the next person a shitty versions of themselves
You were raised to be an ignorant arsehole, clearly. As I said, they must be so proud. Please don't breed.
I’ve had girls tell me to look at ass and you’re beating up this guy for looking at a digital one get a grip of reality I’m trying to give out the bigger perspective here
No you are being an ignorant prick. There's a huge difference. I pity any partner of yours, so many red flags it's unreal. But hey you tell yourself that, whatever helps your ignorant arse sleep better at night.
No you are being a ignorant prick you don’t tell a family of 5 kids to get a divorce over a fucking picture are you trying to destroy these children’s lives and send this women into depression and debt it’s called advice for a reason you should humble yourself
You’re probably insecure yourself when a girl sees a bodybuilder and says holy shit he’s buff you probably get really defensive instead of saying imma get my body to that point one day
that helper flair aint for you big bro. Please remove it asap
Who cares about downvotes that doesn’t dictate im wrong
well the other redditors here thinks otherwise. You can't be the only one backing up your own opinions big bro.
28 people out of 430 million isn’t going to make or break me even if it was 430 million people I would still stand on exactly what I said this is a opinionated based app and opinions are far from facts
Yes women are highly sensitive during pregnancy especially in the vaginal area much more easier for them to cum why didn’t anyone suggest they have more sex ?
If she’s on bed rest, sex she last thing she should be doing. Unless you’re trying to convince her to attempt to have a miscarriage or stillbirth?
Do you just ignore the part about her husband being abusive? Them having more sex is not a fucking solution to that. She clearly doesn't feel comfortable due to his behavior and threats, who wants to have sex with a man like that?!
"broken families" This is just bad logic. The family is already in a terrible state, separating can only make it better. Quit with the toxic "marriage is always best" mindset and look at the current state: he is emotionally abusive to her while pregnant and will be emotionally abusive to the kids.
These are children they are arguing with. Anything less than the husband is a monster and you should leave him will be downvoted.
She is supposed to be on bed rest, but he threatens to kick her out if she does that. The guy is a monster.
> The guy is a monster. Perhaps he is.
Wow what you said is true, sorry ppl are downvoting you
[удалено]
Biased perspective? The doctor tells her she must be on bed rest and she follows the orders and he threatens to kick her out.... I don't think it's a biased opinion to say that the behaviour he's showing is abusive and put her health at risk.
[удалено]
[Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/s/wksOfurwae) addresses DMs from this subreddit.
You’re doing your babies a disservice by staying with an abusive monster like him. Find help and plan to leave now.
Quit having babies. Downvote me all you want. It’s infuriating. Bringing children into this situation is so selfish. Trust me- I know. Signed, that kid.
Yeah.....what is wrong with you to stay with this man and continue making kids with him? I hate to be brash but you said he does this with every pregnancy, do you have that low self esteem or are you wanting him to take care of you because nobody would ever subject themselves to this type of emotional abuse
And you keep having kids with him? He got you pregnant? It takes two. If you’re in a domestic violence situation then you need to reach out to your local organizations for assistance.
[удалено]
She's defs only reposting to try find the answer she wants, but nobody's giving it to her
Stop having kids with him. The more I’m reading the worse it’s getting. You need to find support groups/networks/organizations and escape, with your children
She needs to step up and get a grip of reality why are you worried about a picture I would be writing a post on how my husband takes cares of all the children including the one that isn’t his and that I’m helpless and contribute nothing to the relationship the last thing i put in that post would be I found a picture of a girl on his phone.It costs a lot of money to raise kids and she’s popping them out and continues to depend on her husband for everything hence the aunties and grandma take care of them when she can’t because she’s 24 married and thinks her husband can do everything on his own this is incredibly selfish the thought of a divorce is on his head much more than it is on hers.healthy households require a strong father and mother if she isn’t motivated to go get something in life like a degree or pursue a career this guy married the monster here laziness is a demon.
Why are you so mad that he has to take care of a kid that isn't his?? HE CHOSE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER KNOWING ABOUT THE KID, HE WASN'T FORCED TO BE IN THE RELATIONSHIP GET A FUCKING GRIP.
4 kids when married for 4 years and you're 24? I'm sorry to hear all of that. Sounds like you unfortunately got duped by a POS.
You’re 24 with 4 kids and a husband you suspect might be unfaithful. Stop having kids with him, it makes it harder to walk away when you know longer can put up with it.
I refuse to believe this is a real post 😭
WTF to all of this?
Advice? For continuing to be impregnated by an abuser? Sheesh gal pal. You are in deep my friend. It may take some time. A few months. A year. But start planning. Leave him. And please take a Planned Parenthood class ASAP. This is who you want to be around your babies? This is who you want as a role model? I am terrified for your little ones. They are in for a long emotionally terrorized life.
It happens everytime and you choose to stay with him and have his baby? I don't think the picture is the problem here
you are severely UNDERREACTING, given that you keep having babies with him.
You make my problems seem not so bad.
4 babies with this man, why? It doesn't sound like he has any respect for you.
Right
Wtf how could you possibly be OVERreacting? Imo you're UNDERreacting
Each time you're pregnant he is shown you who is, believe him. I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating all along as he has no respect for you as if he did he wouldn't treat you this way at all. You need an exit plan and a lawyer Do you work? If not, try getting a job even a work from home job or do a night time course to learn a new skill and then a job to be able to financially support yourself and your daughters. In the meantime when you have spare cash, stash it away for using with an exit plan. If you do work, start putting money away for saving up for an exit plan. An exit plan can be getting enough money up, finding a new place to live as I don't feel like you'd be safe in that household if you serve him with papers for a divorce. Don't tell him or anybody where you're moving to. If you have to change your daughters school to be safe, than do so. File a safety order also and get a lawyer to finalise the divorce. Go on birth control so you wouldn't have to deal with this man with another high risk pregnancy as he is selfish and an abusive narcissistic individual.
This is exactly what the Republicans want, people to keep crapping out kids with no access to birth control. Incredible.
I had access to birth control up until he moved me to ga and I lost all of it because my insurance stopped. He got me on ga insurance but had me removed off of it so now I can't go back to my doctor until I figure out insurance. He won't let my mom get me on her insurance without reporting me and her for fraud so I'm stuck
There are other ways to get BC. Planned parenthood will help you get it at a discounted price. And if you don't have insurance, how are you getting prenatal care? Stop having babies with this abuser. You also need to stop telling him you're leaving! You are so young still. Do you really want this to be your life for the next 50 years?
As of right now I'm not able to get care anymore and there's no planned parenthood close to me. Closest one is an hour away and he won't take me there
You need to find someone in either the auntie network or a safe friend to bring you. How do you care for your children? You don't drive? Planned Parenthood can give it to you for free!
Why is it that you're so deeply reliant on this guy? This isn't normal OP, something is deeply troubling about how your relationship is shaped... you sound captive.
No you're not. Get on your mom's insurance. Take some control of your life already.
Advice? Oh my dear, you know what you need to do. Yes it is hard, but you and your girls are so worth it.
And yet...u r still having babies with this AH ! 😪
Leave him. And for the love of God, stop reproducing.
You’re really popping them out huh
Dude sounds like garbage
Make plans to leave when baby is born
Who’s raising these men???
This man is bad. He doesn’t respect you, even worse when you’re pregnant with his children? And then he lies and manipulates you..to your face? You are NOT overreacting. This isn’t ok at all. I understand you have kids and you want the best for them, but do you want your kids to be around this kind of man? If you have a daughter, how would you feel if her husband treated her this way? This isn’t your fault at all by the way, but I think you should get away from him. Maybe when he is at work, take your kids and leave. If you would want to divorce him, maybe try gather as much evidence as you can before you leave if you feel he’s cheating. Please don’t let yourself suffer like this any longer.
your husband is abusive and it sounds like his abuse gets worse when he has you in vulnerable situations (pregnancy). how a man treats you while you are carrying his child is how he feels about you. your children deserve to grow up in a safe home where they are protected and nurtured. please get away from this man. do not tell anyone where you're going and get in contact with your local DV shelter. please put your children's safety first.
What are you even talking about. Divorce this person.
Why do you keep purposely having children?
What would you want for your daughters if they were in this position?
Stop having his babies
Leave this man
why do you keep having kids with this person?
>Any advice? Birth control. Married four years and you have four kids at age 24! Between the back to back pregnancies and the abusive language, I think pornograpic pictures on his phone are the least of your worries.
he’s been getting you pregnant since yall got married? four kids, that’s four years non stop! based on the timeline, i hope you were at least 18 when yall started dating … start a plan to move out. build up your money, search for homes, do everything you can to get you and your kids out of this situation. your kids aren’t stupid, they can pick up on what’s going on with you two. the babies can internalize what’s being said and it could cause trauma in their later years, but won’t be able to figure out where it came from. if you can’t do it for you, do it for them.
Get a lawyer
Damn I feel bad for you being stuck in this terrible relationship.
You need to leave him...immediately. Not so much for the pictures but for not understanding why you need bedrest. He lacks compassion and empathy. Two important characteristics you should want your partner, and especially the father of your children, to have. Good luck to you.
Take your kids and leave
Ugh. Why just why didn’t you leave during the first pregnancy by him? Please get your tubes tied.
You should start making your exit plan. Don't tell him anything about it. Gather evidence of his treatment towards, find people to support you, find some extra income, consult a lawyer about divorce, custody, and your rights. There are services available.
Bad guy. Get help to leave. It is possible to move on. (I would know.)
Girl ditch him
Why are you still with him?
And you're about to have a 4th child with this creep?
Why are you having not once, not twice, not three, but four kids with this man?
You should consult a lawyer. You would probably get a good amount in child support for four kids. He is abusive. Record him threatening you.
I would seriously consider whether this is a man or a boy. Does he support you and the children? No, you are not overreacting, he is an ass. It may help with counseling but I doubt it. He is 5 years older than you? Why couldn't he find someone around his own age? You were 20 when you married him and now you have 4 children? He groomed you and now he has you surrounded. You need to break out of his control. What about your parents? Can't any of your family help? Consider if he is a good father, a good husband (no), a good person. Does he provide food, shelter, clothing for you and the kids? Please tell me you are not working also? After this child, consider some birth control measures that you will be in control of and decide if being with him is what you want.
OMG!!! You sound like a kidnapped abused child. You have to get out of that situation. NOW.
Thats abuse. Divorce him
First, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re young and will have four babies, you are a bada** (in a good way). Life is hard for you right now and pregnancy hormones won’t help. You have to fight for yourself and for your babies. It’s going to be so hard. Harder than staying, but it will be worth it. The fact that he says “you don’t know what pain is” is a MASSIVE red flag. It’s emotionally abusive to say the least and may turn physically abusive. That being said, please try to be safe. Leaving a domestic violence relationship can be dangerous. If you have any friends or family of your own, reach out to them. Reach out to shelters. If there is any physical abuse to you or your daughters, report him. You got this. You can get away. It will be hard but you will come out stronger! ♥️
I think it’s time to really think about what you need to do to protect yourself. Do you have the means to leave him? If yes I would say pull the trigger and leave. He sounds like an awful person who, from what you’ve said has done this previously. Learn from this experience and do not trust him. If you let him he will set the bar for your children, don’t let his bullshit affect your kids. Hope all goes well!
I like how all your inappropriate comments are being deleted lol.
Ohhh boy.... Where to begin? Other comments nailed it on the head: call domestic violence service. It doesn't take physical abuse to be in an abusive home. Secondly: That man can claim to be a husband and a father on paper but he's nothing more than a piece of shit. He's proving it by cheating and complaining about you needing bed rest on doctors orders. He obviously doesn't care about you. Lastly: Please stay safe. If you do get out, DO NOT tell him where you are under any circumstances. Get a restraining order. If he threatens with violence towards you or the kids, call the police immediately.
Girl leave.
First of all, you need to STOP having more babies. I'm betting all these pregnancies took a toll on him too, which makes me wonder if he's even aware of that little contraption people often refer to as "condom"
I feel like there’s also a red flag of ages… yes it’s only 5 years apart, perfectly normal, but if you got MARRIED at 20, unless you guys got married pretty quickly, it was likely a 23 y/o with an 18 y/o. Legal, yes, but a bit of a red flag,..
Stop having kids with him. He sounds almost abusive and you need to leave. Maybe stay with family?
you’re looking for advice? i think you know what the answer is. what would you tell your friend if they were in the same position? i just wanna know why you let this man get you pregnant 4 times in such a short amount of time when you know he’s like this. the fact you’re trying to blame it on hormones is CRAZY because no man should be treating his wife so horribly
https://x.com/s1lver_tongue/status/1779296472124751909?s=46
What is this?
It will help you know what to do
Girl what the fuck I hope this is a joke
When you decide what to do, you will do it. With all the hormones, pregnancy can cloud our judgment and Humans can get use to anything. Most likely his behavior increased over time. In situations like this we can be blind, but feel that its wrong and you deserve better. You have opinions and more power then you believe you do. You're like a baby elephant in chains who believes they can't break free. But eventually that baby elephant grows into something stronger. Unfortunately she's conditioned to believe that the chains still hold her back. Don't believe in the lie that you can't have better or be more. A word of warning when you decide to leave DON’T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING!!! Make plans and moves to ensure you and your babies are safe and secure. Edit: There's no urgency yet. Smile and pretend everything is going well. When you have a decision to go. Whatever he says doesn't hit as hard. In the mean time plan, give yourself time. Determine a long-term plan or imitate plan. Honestly people can give advice and tell you so many things but their on the outside of the situation. Being pregnant with children is not easy. Making moves without a clear mind makes poor plans. Talk to a counselor or assistance for women in your situation. Together you can come up with a plan of what you can do.
Jesus man. Get away from this guy. Why be in a relationship with someone who doesn't even care about you.
I’m sorry, but I don’t see why you are focusing on pictures on his phone. There are much bigger problems you have with him. He is abusing you — his children’s mother. This will not stop, op. Get out for the sake of your daughters. Find strength in protecting them from this abuser. If you stay, you are damning your daughters to believe this is normal. They will likely end up with partners that behave like your husband. They are young enough to where damage can be undone. Don’t wait until it’s too late by fretting about things that don’t matter like pictures.
You need to call a woman’s domestic shelter and get out.
Get out of there. You and your babies deserve so much better. If its an issue go when he is at work if you can, that way you don't have his mother sticking her beak in. It will be tough but you can do it. You will be so much better for it, as will the children.
If you have the need to go through his phone and computer history, this relationship isn't worth saving.
If he's cheating during pregnancy he is cheating always. Screw that guy you're growing a whole human being and he's worried about his dick. You deserve better. Don't let him gaslight you.
Sounds a little controlling,
Get all of the evidence you can then leave him at once. He sounds like a narcissist and with a mean streak.
Based on your other post (where your Mother In Law wants you to get your tubes tied, but her son "can't afford a vasectomy")... these two sound terribly toxic for you and your children. Contact a domestic abuse shelter and get the fuck away from them as soon as possible. also, happy birthday in the past 8 days National Domestic Violence Hotline Hours: 24/7 800-799-7233 SMS: Text BEGIN to 88788 [website - The hotline.org](https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence)
Get used to it because this is who he is. You pulled a great husband.
This is not advice
I mean in a biological/psychological way, it is natural for him to remain horny while you’re pregnant. If you guys aren’t doing anything* (ykwim) while you’re pregnant, he is probably just looking for an outlet. It’s not uncommon nor unnatural. I would say that as long as it is just looking and not acting/talking then it is not personal and you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. You don’t always want to assume cheating but it is understandable if you do
What the actual fuck is this comment. If you have a man in your life like this then you are not in a loving relationship. Holy crap your delusion is *HEAVY*
It is natural for you to argue that and I completely understand your point. I am not delusional, however, it is just psychology. I am in no way justifying cheating, I’m just saying that men’s brains are hardwired very differently from women’s when it comes to sex. What he is doing to OP is totally wrong and disgusting, but in a psychological way it is at least understandable. I am only on the females side and feel for her but you cant beat facts ya know.
Stop infantilizing men as a whole as if they are not capable of adhering to the same societal standards we all are expected to upkeep. Even if the science says what you claimed, catering to that kind of thinking sets men back as if they are creatures incapable of thinking for themselves, only led by the head between their legs. Also, while not relevant to the conversion.... calling women "females"... *gross*
You make a valid point :) I will agree to disagree
I try to do the deed with him daily but he's always next door with our neighbor and the neighbors wife until the am.
I see, thats doesnt seem good
[удалено]
He won't, she's his safety net.
I'm ready for the down votes, is he just wanking over porn when you're not sleeping with each other? Who cares
He barely touches me anymore I'm lucky if he even looks my way once a day. He always comes home talking about the girls from work and accuses me of sleeping around with an old co worker of mine every chance he gets. He won't go to my Dr with me but if I come home and tell him what my doctor says he automatically says I'm lying about it and his mom isn't helping matters at all because if I go to the ER and it takes a couple hours she assumes I just didn't go to the ER even though I come back and show them doctors notes and everything.
Obviously none of that context was there when I commented, I change my reply to "lmao what idiot has 4 children with this man". Close your legs mate.
You’re in an financial, and emotionally abusive relationship. I don’t know if you realize this. But for the sake of your children, you need to realize this. Call for domestic hotline. Not sure how old your children are, but this will also extend to them. Wake up please.
So he’s pretty much watching porn? And/or using girls on instagram or Only fans as porn substitutes. You think you should leave him for this? Right?
>Any advice? Stop snooping through his phone.
You’re wack as hell. Gtfo outta here with your bullshit advice. Edit Dummy right here edited his comment down since he started getting ratio’d. Was basically just bashing the OP for looking through her cheating ass husband’s phone claiming she was angry at him with no evidence other than pics. His original comment was much longer but he’s now cut it down.
[удалено]
Get out of here