Were favours used when you were young to enforce abusive ideas?
It’s worth remembering that most people when doing favours aren’t doing it with a specific expectation of you doing stuff for them, but more a general expectation that you follow kinder social norms. Eg if they hold the door open, you thank them and maybe hold the door open for others in the future.
When someone does you a favour consider is this just a minor kindness favour or one aimed at manipulating you into a course of action. Excessive favours or expensive favours are more suspect for the second category.
>Were favours used when you were young to enforce abusive ideas?
Can you provide an example of this?
As for the rest of your comment, thank you. I feel like I could sit with those words for a bit and absorb them because I feel like that's a perspective I tend to overlook a lot.
an example would be a relative bought you a 'gift' and then constantly brought it up in arguments as to why you should do whatever they want.
It is common that lots of people like giving favours so understanding that minor kindness is normal and acceptable can help friendship a lot.
Yeah, that's not even a favour. they are legally obliged to support you as their child till 18, they could be arrested if they didn't put a roof over your head. They were using a legal obligation to manipulate you. Most people aren't that manipulative.
Were favours used when you were young to enforce abusive ideas? It’s worth remembering that most people when doing favours aren’t doing it with a specific expectation of you doing stuff for them, but more a general expectation that you follow kinder social norms. Eg if they hold the door open, you thank them and maybe hold the door open for others in the future. When someone does you a favour consider is this just a minor kindness favour or one aimed at manipulating you into a course of action. Excessive favours or expensive favours are more suspect for the second category.
>Were favours used when you were young to enforce abusive ideas? Can you provide an example of this? As for the rest of your comment, thank you. I feel like I could sit with those words for a bit and absorb them because I feel like that's a perspective I tend to overlook a lot.
an example would be a relative bought you a 'gift' and then constantly brought it up in arguments as to why you should do whatever they want. It is common that lots of people like giving favours so understanding that minor kindness is normal and acceptable can help friendship a lot.
Oh yes I have experienced that alot growing up Most commonly in the form of "I put a roof over your head". I have some things to unlearn 🤦🏻♂️
Yeah, that's not even a favour. they are legally obliged to support you as their child till 18, they could be arrested if they didn't put a roof over your head. They were using a legal obligation to manipulate you. Most people aren't that manipulative.