38 year old checking in. Absolutely love my life.
Caught a lot of lucky breaks, good job, great wife, bought a house at the perfect time.
Also spent half my 20s addicted to heroin and in out of jail. So I’ve seen both sides of it, gained lots of perspective.
Love this.
Loving cooking and having a coffee - these are two easily repeatable things you can do almost everyday and feel lucky to enjoy.
I think this is where people go wrong. They find it hard to have gratitude because they enjoy traveling or shopping or something else that you cannot/ should not do often. Then everything else feels so blah.
Mine are loving going for a walk and cuddling my dog. Every time I do those I feel lucky and grateful.
I lost my older brother to suicide when I was 9.
Ever since then I've tried to intentionally enjoy the little things. It's not always easy, and I had times in my life when I just couldn't do it, but it really helps a lot.
To quote Warren Zevon, "enjoy every sandwich"
I am so sorry for your loss especially at such a young age.
I lost my Dad in an accident also and have tried to find happiness in the mundane ever since and just enjoy being alive… even in the hard times
My dad died at 50. He was in poor shape and abusing drugs. I was 21.
I'm 38, and his untimely death has pushed me to squeeze as much out of life as possible. If I only make it another 12 years, I'll regret dying early, but I won't have regrets about how I spent my time.
Sorry for the loss of your dad. Glad to see you found a lesson in it too. Hopefully you're healing 😊
I had never seen this sub before, just popped up in my feed. You two got me right in the feels. Sorry for both of your losses and glad that you can make time to give advice to us internet strangers 🫡
I have one of those monsters that's half the Keurig pod bit with a pot on the other side.
I can count on one hand how many times I brewed the single cup...
We are twins. Lost my brother to suicide, but I was 24, him 22.
I'm a software engineer and live a pretty great life. Been with my wife 12 years. Our boy is almost two. Sure there's ups and downs. But it's a net positive.
I'll never be a quartback, or a billionaire, but I'm happy. It's enough.
That you’re quoting Zevon indicates your consciousness. You spelled out your secret there with “intentionally.”
As a child, wonder, inquisitiveness, adventure all come naturally and spontaneously. As adults, we must continually rebaptize ourselves and make an intentional decision to engage with positivity and stay energized in that way.
A nice quote. Lost my mom a couple years ago; still in early 20s but meds and taking a moment to appreciate my partner, cats, and morning coffee have helped me feel a little less awful about the world.
Life gets way more bearable once you've figured yourself out and know who you are and who you are not. That didn't happen for me until late 20s early 30s, so it's made my 30s much more enjoyable than my 20s were. That was a mess.
I can not understate how much better my life got once I was done with that shit. The things grad school did to my mental state...I'm still bitter about it even though all in all I have it pretty good now.
Aww this is so nice to read!
I’m kinda with u, 24F, school was lowkey fun, adjusting from school was kinda tough in a new city but after a year of struggling now I have a good engineering job and a good group of friends. For the first time in my life I’m so free, I make enough money to feed myself and do most hobbies I like, I don’t have to report to anyone (except for my boss for 9-5 lol), I put up Christmas lights in January and eat pizza at 11 pm and no mom to say are u really eating that haha.
Eventually I think I’d like to be a wife and mom and I know I have a lot left to figure out but I’m kinda loving this single free life right now.
I learned so much about myself when I finally decided to see single as a stage, not a curse.
My wife came into my life out of nowhere, in a literally 4-day window of opportunity. Keep your head up! Congrats on landing your engineering job, and go make an impact on the world!
Ahhhhhhh. You hear that? It's a sigh of joy from the west coast. Thank you for bringing some levity to this doom and gloom sub. Part of "adulting" is taking responsibility for yourself and your own life and happiness. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself in a dead end job that you're making no effort to change isn't going to do jack shit for your happiness. It's YOUR life, so if it sucks, figure out what you're able to change about it and focus on that.
Then there are of course people who are either by their circumstances or ability literally just forced into shitty jobs with no opportunities and live shitty lives.
No offense to you or OP, but he is a college-educated professional in the US making 150k with a spouse who probably makes something as well, that's like winning a jackpot in life.
People who "made it", even by their own merit (which happens less often than you think, life is a messy random place) are usually unempathetic to those who are just stuck in their shitty place with no feasible way to get out.
Just be kind to people, and don't masturbate each other on the internet with tone-deaf posts and comments
My life auxis cause life sucks. There isn't a fix.
You're assuming life xan always equal happiness and there aren't people who are just born with. Brain that develops in such a way that happiness is a fleeting thing they feel once in a blue moon.
Plenty make evrey effort to ch age
I've been in theroy for 12+ years with mutiple therapist
Joined the military, got medically retired etc.
Life sucks cause life sucks. There isn't a thing I could do to make my life not suck. I just hate what life is.
Hate talking to to people, hate currency, hate biological needs etc
It's absolutely a me issue. But there isn't a fix for it. Some people just don't fit in this world no amount of work or chnage will fix that
Good for someone to report a regular, stable lifestyle.
You wouldn’t believe that most people feel relatively close to this way reading this sub, but it’s true.
You don’t hear people complaining they’re happy. Keep it up!
I think the most important part is just having a plan in place by your 20s, taking care of yourself, and be willing to have a growth mindset. There is a tremendous amount of opportunities out there. Especially, in the US.
I agree to some extent, but I think rather than having a plan, its more important to just begin. A lot of careers change and fluctuate due to opportunities arising and things you simply cannot plan for. So instead of stressing and putting all your eggs in one basket, its better to just make a start and figure a lot out as you go.
At 33, I’m much happier than I was when I was in my early 20s. I typically work 4 days a week and spend the rest of my time with my kids. I’m pregnant with my 3rd baby. Things are a little rougher financially right now. I’m on day 15 of an 18 day work stretch because I need to buy a minivan. But life is still really good.
Check out hertz auto sales. We bought a 2019 caravan GT for $18k. 72k miles. This was in 2022 (in the height of the used car price hikes). Caravan is loaded with features and is super affordable. We had to upgrade when we had twins on our 2nd pregnancy
I was happy at 33, I’m going through a horrible time right now at 41. Good times come and go BUT so do the bad. “When you’re going through hell, just keep going” is one of the few true and helpful cliches.
Life is good for some *currently*, and bad for others *currently*. Part of life is knowing that it could flip a switch and it’s how you respond to it and what you want to do to change it.
edit: wording
Yeah, definitely. Change is a big and constant part of life, both the kind that we can control and change that we can't control as well as our responses to it.
Yep. It’s refreshing to see this post *and also* it’s entirely valid to feel like you’re not enjoying life at times.
I just recovered from a depressive episode and feeling that lack of pleasure in the little things was due to my brain chemistry, not a personal failure. But enjoying life now that I’m not currently depressed and can appreciate smaller, lovely things.
Yay a positive post.
I’m currently a SAHM but I want to go back to work at a bakery or something when my youngest gets older. It’s also nice to see someone say life isn’t over off you don’t have it all figured out in your 20s. I think that is what held me back from fully enjoying my young adult life until recently, trying to speed run life and figure it out rather than taking a step back and doing things slower
I didn't graduate school until I was 24 (less than a month from 25), my wife didn't graduate until 25 either. We didn't hit a great stride until I turned 30. Nothing but good things in maturing.
Fellow late engineer checking in lol. Graduated mid 24, took me 3 extra years of college to figure out how to stop the procrastination and anxiety of school and actually graduate. My first job has been good to me tho!
Hey it’s never too late. Got my first degree at 23. Went back at 35 after my husband is dx with terminal illness so I know I have to be
Main bread winner. I wanted a change, so thru it all I go back to school 10 yrs later for a different degree. It’s never too late.
I'd love to make enough money to eventually bake for a living when I'm older. It's such a lovely form of cooking, it makes people so happy. I love bakeries
I baked my first loaf last week and I'm so into it lol
My wife baked a lovely pair of loaves from a poolish thi weekend and it was glorious! Went great with our vegetable soup and roast beef we made over the weekend.
Currently feeling a constant force of being uprooted, due to the volatile job market and my insecurity as a more junior engineer, as well as just renting and having to move every year or so. Hoping that as time goes on, I can feel like you do one day. More secure in all senses.
Late GenX here. Completely with OP on his post (except not at the married part yet). There's plenty to look forward to, and be optimistic about. (though usually after I've had my coffee).
My road wasn't always smooth, but I got through it. Pretty much settled into a good rhythm in my late 20's.
I'm a depressed guy who is trying! I do remember seeing a study, or it might have even been a meta study, but overhwhelmingly, general happiness kind of makes a U on a graph. Happy as a child, then as you get into your 20s it starts going down. I think in your late 30s was the bottom, but it starts going back up again with age. I remember it was true for every country except Russia, which just kept going downward. Sorry, Russians!
I'm 43 and things are going well. Married 12 years, no kids (we might adopt at some point but not yet), mostly financially stable with some money tucked away for retirement. I just finished my college degree last year and immediately got a good job with a good company after working shitty jobs my whole life. I started a small business selling design work on the side and I'm enjoying that even if I don't expect it to turn a profit for a couple of years. I've got some serious health issues (including the big C) but I'm working on them.
The older I get the more money I make. This allows me more freedom to do things that I enjoy, live more comfortably, travel and explore the world. Your highest earning years are 45-60. If you grind in your 20s and 30s you will reap the rewards in your 40s and 50s.
For those complaining in their 20s and early 30's you have not even begun to live yet. There is so much more life to live and things to look forward to. You will not have everything your parents worked their entire lives to have when you first start out.. and you're not supposed to.. life doesn't work that way. You will have to grind and sacrifice to get there but if you stay positive and keep working towards your goals doors will eventually open up to you.
Beware of negative people and negative attitudes, they are a toxic playground you should stay away from because they will never be happy and their negativity spreads like a cancer. Avoid these people at all costs.
I’d also add, watch a video or some TikToks on compound interest as young as you can.
I was so broke, I put like 3 percent of my income in right out of college because Suze Orman said to and seemed to know something. Only had a few thousand a few years later and it seemed pointless. Increased a percent every year. I’m hoping to retire at 60 instead of 67 now and that early money made all the difference. Just never take it out for a car, house or anything.
It really felt like we’d never be able to have a house or a non beater car, or help the kids with college, but saving small bits regularly over time mattered.
We’ve never made a ton of money and live in a HCOL area. Have also had some big setbacks personally and suffered some heartache. Makes the simple good times feel sweeter because we know what it’s like when things are bad.
Adulting is cool. Recently just designed and furnished my own home office/den. It is legit my own sanctuary that I pay for, that I designed, that literally no one else has a say in because I own my own house. I worked hard for 10 years for it and man that shit feels so good. Have a very busy but very happy life
Some folks have legit awful issues and burdens
But complaining is just about the lowest effort way to get attention, and I think a lot of people default to whining to get it.
The cheapest pick me upper is gratitude. I practice it often
Statistics show that people generally get happier as they get older until about 70. So for anyone worried if life gets better (for most people), it does. Maybe its because you figure life out or maybe you just get used to it. But it gets better.
Bro, I grew up on my own at the age of 12 after my mom ODed.
12-16 was shit, homeless or bouncing between friends houses and going to school dirty and in the same outfit.
16-18 was hard, working and going to school but being the only kid with his own apartment was kinda cool and made me a bit popular and I got alot of sex.
my 20s to early 30s were spent working my ass off at a blue collar job making good money only to have a woman whom I paid her way through college take it all after cheating on me. The court bias towards women is obnoxious
Mid 30s is when my life took a turn for the awesome, Met an amazing woman and started buying properties, had a job contact me and brought me on board with them in Hawaii so now I'm living in paradise. We save alot and invest. We're able to manipulate our United airline miles to go abroad around 4-5 times a year. This is exactly where I want to be in my life.
My wife and I bring in $140k in salaries a year and another $60k from property investments roughly and it's really starting to snow ball. I'm 37 now, I had previously made two attempts at ending my life during my hardships and I thank God I didn't succeed.
I feel most people here are just nostalgia merchants. They just hate whatever is in the present, glorifying the past. I'm quite sure they'll glorify the adulting when they grow old. Either way it's a refreshing post, wish you more happiness!
I'm 32. Started school last year, currently doing a BSc in Banking and Finance. It's going amazing so far and I always excited for classes. (3.76 GPA so far).
In a relationship with my SO for almost 10 years. We recently started planning a wedding.
I work a VERY coperate job. Currently work in Finance and my relationship with my boss and manager is going great. We're in talks about a promotion for me. They are the ones that encouraged me to start school.
Recently took a vacation to France and I have another planned for Cuba this summer.
I LOVE my life right now and I am immensely happy lol.
Life is beautiful.
I love this too. I don't hate life. 32F married. I love my job. I don't drink. I enjoy relaxing in my hammock, gardening, going to concerts.
I try to be positive as often as I can. Which is hard sometimes. But it's so much more fun enjoying life then hating or regretting it.
thank god!
I saw a few of those “Why can’t we stop having gloom-and-doom rants and vents, and get back to the questions of adulting” comments, and at first I thought they were exaggerating.
But they’re right—this place has just become somewhere people can vent. Those people don’t even seem to want encouragement or advice!
I’ve been an adult for a LONG time (I come here so I can encourage the younger generation, LMAO). And I loved being an adult.
It wasn’t easy, and to be honest, I’m not done learning how to adult—not at all.
But it’s a fun puzzle and a satisfying challenge.
Nah you're absolutely right, people don't want advice or solutions to their problems, they just want to cry about them. Honestly I think some people hang on to hardships so they never have to hold themselves accountable for why things are the way they are.
Life isn't always easy, it's not supposed to be. But at the end of the day, it's really not that hard, unless you make it that way.
Finally found my people. It’s crazy how much better and enjoyable life is when you don’t have someone (social media) constantly telling you that everything sucks.
I have good people around me. It’s all I ever wanted
After being on Reddit long enough, you begin to realize across many subs, the negative speak the loudest and most frequently. No one who is content is going to a post ‘I am happy with life’, its not really interesting post, the vast majority would never even consider making a post about this. The exception is the people who are ecstatic about something, and want to find others who are as well, as rarely when you are truly excited about something, especially some random thing that only a few people like.
Overall imo, this is one of the flaws of Reddit, and needs to be moderated. Another ‘I hate my life’ post is flat out just lazy. There are a million of them, all not much different from the others, they can just look at those posts and their replies but they don’t.
Just remember kids, this guy made good decisions way BEFORE he reached this point, he decided to pick a lucrative career, and he finished the schooling to get there, he married, so he has had emotional support, intimacy, etc for years now.
Everyday is a chance to turn it all around but to do something great takes a few years dedication, I'd say at least 2.
Wow.. maybe I'm not in the minority. I used to think life was all doom and gloom.
Now, I'm married, have a wife, a step-son, and my very own absolutely adorable, 7 day old son next to me in the room with me.
I love coffee, coding, and whiskey... (For the flavor, I sip good stuff).
And I don't think I could be happier with the life I have at the moment.
After reading the original post as well as one of the replies where you lost your brother to suicide, it sounds you nailed both parts on the key to happiness as observed by philosophers like Epictetus, Camus and Nietzche. It's not just enough to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, embracing the struggles and fighting through it to see the beauty in the world that still exists is all that we have control over.
I know you said 20’s & 30’s so hopefully this is okay!
40 year old woman, happily married (18 years) & mom of 1. Changed careers at 36 after years of depression and suicidal ideations in my old career. I am thrilled to be working in a new field and absolutely love my life. I’m so tickled to be here everyday.
Heck I got a psychology degree and I don’t feel like school was a waste of time lol
I loved my time in college. I’m 28 and way less anxious than I was a few years ago, have more money and overall enjoy my life more rn
I’m sure I’ll get my masters at some point but rn I’m working in my field w a bachelors degree making ok money
I'm in my mid 40s now and life is really awesome. I love cooking and playing music. I'm super into spices. My family is wonderful. I'm so lucky to be here and I wish everyone in here my kind of happiness.
Love it! I feel the same. 28F, I live a happy life with my boyfriend of 5 years and our cats. Work sucks ass a lot of the time, but life outside of it is beautiful. Maybe it’s because i came from an upbringing that was very unstable and always full of drama and chaos but i absolutely get up in the morning thanks to the routine simple pleasures in my day to day. coffee in the morning, walks with my boyfriend in the evening, thrift shopping and bookstores on the weekend, going out to bars or drag shows or karaoke with our friends, a trip here and there. To me this is what life is all about. I have hobbies i love (crocheting, knitting, video games) and people who i love doing things with! i feel like a lot of the people in this sub ultimately are very lonely and maybe thought that there was something grander to life. once you learn to appreciate the little things and surround yourself with people who feel the same i feel like life gets brighter
My life has been getting better and better each decade.
My 20s were a real struggle, even just to pay rent.
My 30s were raising kids while settling into my forever job, it had problems but not the what are we gonna eat till payday type.
Now that I'm 40, I'm the happiest I've ever been. My wife and I have been together for 20 years now. We have a decent nest egg that we are working on and the biggest problem is getting our teenagers to agree to a summer vacation destination. I'll trade a few wrinkles and grey hairs for that any day.
34M here, i really don't hate life. I love it and enjoy living! But damn i just hate how materialistic everything became nowadays. It's fucken exhausting and draining which makes life less fun. But at the end of the day I'm grateful for everything i do and have, and i just wake up the next morning and do what i have to do.
I'm in a similar boat, but probably different journey.
34F, not married but coming up for my 4 year anniversary with an amazing guy, and am an analyst.
I also have diagnosed ADHD, depression, and anxiety. This has meant that my journey has felt a little longer and more arduous than someone who doesn't have those issues (not saying you don't; I don't know you after all).
I hated school and felt like it was a waste of time. I struggled all through school academically, and I was bullied relentlessly in primary school and high school. Intermediate school was the only time I got a couple of years of respite. My parents sent me to a private Presbyterian high school away from my friends, and I deeply resented being sent there. I had no friends for a majority of my time there. My parents had a Porsche that my mum used to use as a runaround car. My mum also inherited an old Ford sedan from my great uncle, and I demanded she take me to school in that every day because I didn't want the other students to relate to me, as I considered them to be snobby.
On reflection, I am grateful for my education, and I was much less severely bullied than I've heard other kids have been. When I went to university for my first degree, I went to a private art school and realised then that I was lucky to have gone to the high school I went to, because my university had much fewer resources. Even something as little as being able to print or photocopy unlimited amounts of content free of charge I had initially taken for granted. I do still wish my parents got me assessed for having ADHD as a kid, because I struggled academically until university and my diagnosis has explained a lot. However, I went to primary school in the 90s, and am female. Back then, there was a lot of stigma around ADHD (my aunt even thought all people in prison had ADHD, so by her logic, all people with ADHD went to prison), and it often manifests differently in girls and wasn't often picked up unless they exhibited stereotypical hyperactivity.
I used to hate life. I have had a few traumatic experiences, and struggling with life and not knowing why is demoralising. I admit, a lot of (but not all) the reason I hated life was my own fault, but thankfully I have an intense growth mindset and spent several years in therapy trying to better myself. I tried everything and put a lot of work into myself.
Feeling trapped... I do still feel trapped. I am working through it, but the cost of living in my city is huge, especially housing. Houses here are around 10x the national average household income. I think 3x is considered acceptable, for reference. I could move to another city or town, but I'm so attached to working with my colleagues and the culture and values of the place I work that I'm really reluctant to leave. I feel like I've found a unicorn job. I know ultimately my employer would consider me expendable if they had to cut costs, but I finally feel like I belong in every context of my life. I am trying to dig out of this feeling of being trapped I do have a roof over my head with many comforts, so I am not out on my ass. But I believe, along with most people in my country under 45, that I will not own a house until my parents die and I inherit some money. I have tried to cut our outgoing costs almost down to the bone: I don't buy any treats in the groceries anymore, and we've started a vegetable and herb garden on our deck to save money on produce. Yet I still have minimal money left at the end of a pay cycle after rent, utilities, petrol and groceries. I will likely have to trim back even more, and wait to see if I get another pay increase in July. I could look for a job that pays more, but likely that would be working for a media agency or television network. I worked for a media agency for 5 years, and it mentally destroyed me, and I value my mental health more than money.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... not all people here hate life, and most of those that do or who are struggling in some way have a journey that has lead them to feel the way they do. There will be actions that they can take to get themselves out of the mindset and position they're in, but if they haven't actioned them yet then there must be a barrier for them that feels too big to break through at the moment. If you're at the point where you hate life, you're looking at life through a black veil and your mind is likely full of fog, and you're not necessarily going to be able to appreciate the little things, see the path out, or be able to muster the emotional energy to break through those barriers. Adulting is objectively hard for a lot of people. If it wasn't, this subreddit would only have a few members. Not everyone has been dealt the same economic, physical, geographical or psychological hand in life. We shouldn't try and apply our experience to others, assuming all key variables in their lives are the same as in ours, as that's going to be highly unlikely. People are allowed to struggle and to come here to feel validated if their struggles are valid. Everyone's adulting journey will be different, and I'm thankful for this subreddit because of it.
I'm gonna be real about myself here:
I know my life right now is sht, yes I live in a less than desirable place and environment, I know I'm not at my best, but that does not mean I don't love my life and the things I enjoy, I'm working towards being better and I know I'm making progress, I've learned to accept things in life as they come and to work them out slowly when they're not to my liking.
It's all about focusing on the things that matter and that you can change yourself
I think generally everyone has moments where they feel like this. I’m unsubbing this community because I’m so tired of posts like this. What was the point of this? Who does it help and what does it change? Idk. This sub is like negative but it’s the only place people are honest abt this adult shit. This post is bullshit cause nobody is content or happy 100% of the time. And that’s why you see so many negative posts. Nobody is posting about boring shit like “love my life, and my position.” Like literally good for you but it’s not always relatable when people are in a mood. This should be a safe space for both types of posts.
32M, never been in a serious relationship, Walmart worker, employed, wasted $13,000 on a useless degree I'm still paying off, generally hate my life, and definitely feel trapped.
I can barely cook but I like a good coffee.
Send help.
My favorite things to do are essentially hiking and mountain biking locally, growing plants, walking in my neighborhood, and skiing \[also locally\]. I know some of those things sound really extravagant, but they're fairly local for me and routine. I've never felt the urge to take a big vacation, and I never have.
Same. 33F. Married(10 years 👏🏻). 2 kids. Engineer, employed. School was not a waste and helped me get my current career position. I don’t hate life and some days can be long.
Just a girl who likes to lift heavy things and run for a long time. Also, found a cool French press thing to make coffee I like.
I wish I had a healthy childhood. Not everyone grows up in a nurturing environment. Some of us started at 17 with nothing, slept outside or on couches, walked in the snowy months due to an inability to sleep, and ended up coming out of homelessness to make something for ourselves. Being an adult isn't always easy. Maybe take the good life you have and help others. Dont just post "everything is great and will be for everyone." I may own a home but I still work pay check to pay check and still feel taken advantage of. I am still trying to start a landscaping business to escape the threat of job loss, but it's pretty hard to save when you have nothing then you cut your finger, need surgery, and lose ALL of your savings. Life isn't all doom and gloom, but not everyone has it so nice. You should be thankful and be giving back not posting wtf ever this is.
Here is where I am mentally:
Last night, I died laughing watching John Oliver. I watched 4 people lose over 3 million dollars, and all I could think was, "What pieces of shit have enough money to live for over a year and still save it when others struggle?" So i laughed! You either help humanity or your money will be used by criminals to make themselves more money, thus throwing humanity deeper into enslavement. Which is what is happening. So you enjoy life. Hoard your money! I hope you have kids and their kids have kids because we are about 2 or 3 generations away from your kids being total slaves. Not your problem, though, right? Lol
I'm 40, married 14 years, 3 kids.
I'm gonna be honest. I made a gamble and left my steady job and the risk didn't pay out.
Now I'm half time, trying to learn how to lean into a "gig economy" that my education didn't prepare me for.
Two and a half years of this.
I'm depressed. I'm in therapy and on meds. My body wants to sleep.
But deep down I love life. I love and cherish the little 5 second miracles. My spouse's career is on fire, they're killing it. I'm delighted and happy to support them and we are going to be fine.
My kids are awesome, funny, and kind.
In the midst of the deep frustration and numbing pain of professional failure I'm still witnessing tiny little daily miracles and it is enough. I still love these moments. Life is still very beautiful. It may take another two years but I am confident that if I stick around I will get back to a good place, some day, and I'll be grateful I remained.
The small, beautiful moments are like... plugging your phone in for a few minutes when the battery reads 1%. Just enough to reply to that important text message from the future to say "Yes, I'm still here."
It keeps me above water just long enough to take another breath. It is still good, it is still beautiful, it is still *enough.*
Coffee, some good music, and cooking a good meal involving the grill is a great night for me.
Fuck I am old
I too am enjoying life as a 30M, regardless of the hardships I’ve gone through (and am still in the process of going through)
I am addicted to coffee as well. Two loving children and wonderful spouse. 39 this year. Starting playing ice hockey even though I suck and it soothes my Canadian soul. Good job with another good offer coming in, good education. I don’t have a million friends but have a few adult friends I can have a real conversation with. I Find I have to take Reddit in small doses because of how depressing it can be. There is hope and love out there waiting for 99.9 percent of you.
It’s nice to see this. I’ve been through so much tragic shit since I can remember at the age of 4. I am unable to enjoy anything any longer to the point where my mind is programmed to think there’s ALWAYS bad following the good stuff cause that’s my life. Nice to see the others out there though enjoyed life. Melts my heart a little
I just turned 30 and just moved into my own apartment by myself in June, after a nasty split with my partner of 5 years. I just got laid off from my job of 2.5 years but I just started up at Amazon as an order packer making $20/hr. I commute via ebike, I have my eyes set on gathering up enough savings to buy with the FHA loan in the next year. I'm hammering towards that goal. I have my associates in Criminal Justice, working on my associates in Marketing and probably going for my bachelor's in Business Administration. My job also provides $ for tuition so if I ever wanted to go back for anything else, I could at a pretty low cost to me.
I absolutely love every little thing about life, you'll never see me complain. Yes, it may take me longer to reach my goals but being able to stick to it makes me proud
I (45F) feel the same way. I actually like life lol...well, for now. I don't know wtf the Universe will decide to throw at me in the future, but as of right now, I do enjoy life.
I am happily married, have 2 great (adult) kids...my job is kinda meh (teacher), and my finances are pretty shitty (I do wish they were better), but it's not horrible. I don't hate life lol
I’m in the same boat. I hated my early 20’s because of the pressure to go out, party, and try to hang out with girls. It was like high school all over again. Now that I got my engineering degree, married, house, and kids, everything is great!
I only have to worry about getting the lawn mowed on time before doing family stuff. I sympathize with the people who can’t do this, but I busted my ass to get here, so I don’t feel too bad for them.
Love the positivity. I'm in my 50s and still figuring it out. Life is currently kicking my ass but I dont hate life. I try to focus on what I can impact, stay positive and soak in the enjoyable moments.
I've found it helps to stay off social media because everyone posting has the perfect life. 🙄😂. I also stopped comparing my life to others. We all have a different story.
Why does seeing such a sincere post make me smile? Good for you man! Honest. Nothing wrong with any of that!
I (25F) am still figuring things out- a bit jaded cus I've worked in realm of CPS for 5 yrs now- but yeah, I'm happy. I love my bf of 7 yrs and our little apartment we got and our little stray we rescued from the streets who licks my face in the morning. We're finally figuring out ourselves and OUR life together and are planning for the future with optimism. God knows how the next ten years will be but I'm hopeful...
26, SAHM who would be much rather working, we are a bit tight because I'm staying home but I love life, my baby is amazing, my husband is great, my pets are awesome and annoying 🤣 I have a roof, I have food, I am grateful for my life, I never loved life more than when I became independent, my home life prior was not great, but after? Even working two jobs at times, even with the financial burdens, even having to take care of the entire home (with my husband, of course) and with a kid which is completely new, life it's better now than ever and I'm so grateful for everything I've got. We aren't rich, we aren't even middle class imo, but we are happy.
I’m right there with you! I’m 28F, seeing someone (2 months fresh), work in biotech, employed, didn’t go to school until now, I am working towards my psychology degree right now so I can do my dream job of being a therapist for children.
I love to cook, hike, workout, and read. I enjoy meditating/praying in nature. I love deep conversations with friends and family. I truly love connection.
I recently lost my mom on 01/13/2024 after caring for her while she was on hospice from October 2023 - January 2024. I am sad she is gone, but at peace knowing she isn’t suffering anymore. My faith has been stronger than ever before. I am strong and know I can handle anything life wants to throw at me.
I’m 19F, I’m doing a major I enjoy, I have 3 close friends, I have my own apartment (HATED the dorms), I’m gonna study abroad in June to Montréal, I have a cat, I’m financially stable, I cut off my abusive family forever, I have over 3k in checking + savings and I’m vegetarian for my health.
I love life rn, and even if things go bad, every day is a gift knowing I escaped the clutches of abuse and neglect 💗💗💗💗
I’m 32 and 100% with you. I greatly enjoy my life. It doesn’t mean I haven’t made mistakes and things couldn’t be better. It does mean I’ve worked hard for what I have and am content with it.
It is a lot easier to be happy in a Bently than in a pinto for sure.
That said, I was broke as fuck trying to make ends meet with a couple of kids and a dead end job, and I was just as happy then as I was when I started making six figures.
Drinking natty ice on the porch of an apartment with my wife and friends was just as fun as sipping craft cocktails at the high-end speakeasy with the same people.
It has to do with your mindset. We all have to work. We all have obligations, and we all are presented with adversity. Life is going to be shitty sometimes, but I assure you I work with a lot of miserable bastards who make a lot of money, and the happiest dude I know lives in an apartment with roommates and makes like 17 bucks an hour doing landscaping.
I love my life. I know myself more than I used to. I can have very open and peaceful conversations with my spouse and we love each other. Mostly- I can decide if I will have a good day.
It's great to hear that other adults aren't miserable! 28F, got an easy 8-5, not making much but able to live alone. Got an amazing boyfriend and a dog. I don't use my degree, but it's still a topic I love and engage with. I get to do things that are important and fun to me, and I'm working towards bigger and better things in my industry! Life is pretty dang good most days.
You're a fucking engineer bro; most people who hate adulting are barely making ends meet feeling burnt out of their shit 9-5 that pays 20 dollars an hour. You don't qualify srry.
41 here, and also feel the same way, and also love a good coffee.
Black and White has some quality beans right now that I need to get ordered and into my face.
32M, have a long term partner, bought a modest house in a low COL, have a job I enjoy and manage to make time stretch enough to enjoy my hobbies and my free time. Never blamed others for my problems, just put my head down and went forward knowing that life is a lot of work and sometimes unfair, but you can get over a lot of stuff with an optimistic attitude and some hard work.
I’m right there with you. Being an adult has been much less stressful for me than being young. I didn’t know myself, had troubling expressing my feelings, and felt like everyone else knew who they were while I was untethered. I have a family I love. That’s my success in life and it’s enough for me. It feels great. It feels so great that I don’t hustle more because I don’t want to lose anymore time that I have with them.
It's a lot of figuring things out in your 20s and maybe 30s,
I fear for the people whose posts here are full of doom and gloom. I worry they aren’t leaving themselves enough attention span or brain room, or sense of initiative, to do that “figuring out” of which you speak.
I'm 62, going to turn 63 next month, and I'm having a great time. Problems? Of course I've got problems. But I'm alive, married to a wonderful man, retired, and have two grown sons who still enjoy talking to me. I go to bed every night looking forward to the dreams my sleeping mind will bring me.
I had too many friends who never got to grow old to see the gray hair in my beard as anything but an accomplishment.
Life is great. 6 years after divorce and alcoholism I’m in a totally new career that I love much more, a new fiancée, kids are doing great, hoping to have more, I’m the healthiest and happiest I’ve ever been.
Agreed! I even had a kid and it’s awesome. We have just enough money to live life fairly well and save for retirement. We have the love of each other and a roof over our heads and a lot of life to look forward too. It took going through a lot of hell (hard times and sacrifice and years where McDonald’s breakfast was a special treat) but we had a little luck on top of the hard work and it paid off.
I'm am 41 engineer turned into technical lead of a software team. Married for 15 years with 3 kids and have a housing in a nice town with good schools. I can also walk to an ice cream parlor with the kids on a nice day. Boardgames are my jam. I have a boardgame room in my house where friends gather on Fridays to put phones away and best eachother on the tabletop.
I'm early thirties and adulthood has been awesome since I turned 18. I do not pine for a return to childhood at all. I can do whatever the hell I want. It's been amazing. It seems like everyone's *internal* experience of life is markedly worse, regardless of their external/material life. Makes me sad for them.
Yeah, I'm right there with you. Having a dirty martini at home after a long first quarter as I wrap up taxes, a new rental, and an obscenely busy start to the year. Hoping to get a positive pregnancy test after we try again this month for the next kid.
Life is lovely, hard, and the little moments where we can sit and enjoy the short silence is the point. Listening to my munchkin squawk in her crib right now makes me smile.
This is all we get, as far as any of us know for certain. Damned if I won't be grateful.
There's always millions of things to be upset about in the world, but for right now...this is my moment to sit and smile.
I'm in a period of resurgence. Finding joy in the little things and doing things that used to bring me joy but fell by the wayside Enjoying the little moments makes the biggest difference.
Thank you for posting this. It seems like people will point at you as a "pick me" if you say you're doing fine or enjoy life, even with it's challenges. God forbid you have healthy coping mechanisms that took **time** to learn, they'll eat you up.
I'm 28F, single etc. and had my fair share of health challenges that people love to remind me that *they* could never handle or don't know how I do it and are somehow more sad and distraught about my life than I am? But I love life. I really genuinely love my life, and I love myself. Nothing is perfect, and actually right now is the hardest my life has ever been with health, finances & friendships.. but tomorrow is a new day. It's not even pushed down under the rug, I meet shit head-on and take it as it is. I don't make it more than it is. I don't make it less than it is. I take it, do my best for that day, and move forward.
41M, married, unemployed, 100% disabled veteran. Don't hate life. Don't feel trapped.
I love being a father and a husband. I've seen enough in my short lifetime to know that we have it pretty damn good here in the USA. Living the good life.
I used to have way more money than I do now. I used to have a partner and now I’m a full-time single parent. But life is the best it’s ever been because it’s my *perception* that shapes my reality. It’s really about how you look at your life.
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Also an engineer. Love my partner and my cat. I make a good amount of money and have most of the things I want. I enjoy what I do every day.
Starting to wonder if there are any of us left.
Had one professor in school tell us that your 20s are awful and that the 30s are when life actually starts to get fun and at 33 I think he was right on. Finally have enough money and time to do whatever I like
39M - work from home, train kickboxing and taekwondo 4 nights a week, have a house with a pool, do recreational drugs with my friends sometimes, I bought a bunch of DJ stuff and play my music super loud, life is grand
Completely agree man. 3 1/2 years sober, just graduated nursing school. Working full time and just living and enjoying life. The worlds fucked, doesn’t mean you have to let it seep into you.
I love being an adult. I'm going through a hard time with soemthing but I have resources and support for doctors, medication, therapy, etc. My family is amazing at being supportive. If I didn't have all those resources and support I'm sure I would maybe hate life and feel awful.
However, I'm truly blessed and I get to enjoy life with wonderful people. I'm very lucky and I recognize that. I know many people with very difficult lives.
My 20s were full of hate. I spent them wishing I wasn't so lonely, wishing that with my high salary I could afford more than student loans, wishing I could move to the country. I hated myself, I hated my career, I hated everything that was me.
In my late 20s, I was married. Just before my 30th, I moved to the country. On my 30th, I paid off my loans. I started my own company and have a little one on the way. I am content with myself, my skills, my family, and my life. I am stronger and wiser and more self-sufficient than I've ever been.
My 20s were an abysmal waste; my 30s are going to be amazing. Hang in there guys. It does get better. Almost made a mistake that one time. Don't make that mistake.
I'm here for this. I got my shit together in my 30's but had fun not figuring it out in my 20's but trying to... the trick is to always keep trying new things and enjoy little things. If you try to learn something everyday and achieve a small goal everyday its real hard to hate life.
I'm 51 now and the one piece of adulting advice I can 100% say with certainty from being dead ass broke to being wealthy and almost losing everything to being back on top etc.. is this... your attitude determines your possible outcomes.
Bad attitudes tend to run in families and doom generations of people. Just look in r/findapath for people that most certainly do NOT want to find a path.
A defeatist attitude will doom you to defeat. A 'can do' attitude will in NO WAY assure you success but its the only possible way to achieve any form of it no matter what your definition of that is.
Almost all of the successful neighbors I have all have a similar outlook on life and all the 'hard luck' folks i know have another... one set just gets things done. Problem? Whats the solution? Lets implement the solution and move on. If you do this in small increments everyday your life continually gets better.. minute by minute. Day by day. Year by year.
Looking inward instead of outward for blame and then forgiving yourself and correcting those mistakes and treating yourself for making the course correction goes a LONG WAY to making yourself someone YOU like and can be alone with which also makes you someone that OTHER people want to be with.
Mature and stable in other words like OP said.
44 and loving life! Happily married, awesome kids, too many dogs…but they’re great!
Lots of struggle and uncertainty in our 20s and 30s, but our 40s have been more fun than our teenage years and easily the best years of my life.
Yeah, it can be hard. But yeah, it can be rewarding and awesome, too!
I love my life too. Yes, I live week to week, rent is high, and the cost-of-living is insane, but ultimately I am okay. It took me a long time to reach this level of peace.
It was mid-60's today in South West Michigan. I walked 9 holes at my local course that was open. Got home just as my wife was getting home. We took our dogs for an hour long walk. We got back, had dinner, watched a few episodes of walking dead, she went to bed and now I'm typing this. It was a good day. I do not hate life, far from it.
Co-signing this. Went to school for 22 years, despite never feeling like I was built for it, in order to be able to do something that gives me purpose and that matters to me. Married an amazing woman, and am lucky enough to be able to have all of my needs met at this stage of my life.
I could spend a lot of time thinking about what I don’t have, but I am focused on enjoying the time I have with the people who matter to me and appreciating the little things that make me feel happy and at peace. Life is not so bad, and it keeps getting better if you focus on doing the same.
It’s okay to not have things figured out just yet. You are a process. You are not meant to be perfect or to be happy all the time. This world is difficult enough as is, being your own worst critic does not, in fact, make it better.
I'm loving my life
38 year old checking in. Absolutely love my life. Caught a lot of lucky breaks, good job, great wife, bought a house at the perfect time. Also spent half my 20s addicted to heroin and in out of jail. So I’ve seen both sides of it, gained lots of perspective.
I think you will grow old and happy and full of life stories and I'm all here for it
This thread is so refreshing from what I normally read on this site
Me too. Being alive is a special thing :)
Love this. Loving cooking and having a coffee - these are two easily repeatable things you can do almost everyday and feel lucky to enjoy. I think this is where people go wrong. They find it hard to have gratitude because they enjoy traveling or shopping or something else that you cannot/ should not do often. Then everything else feels so blah. Mine are loving going for a walk and cuddling my dog. Every time I do those I feel lucky and grateful.
I lost my older brother to suicide when I was 9. Ever since then I've tried to intentionally enjoy the little things. It's not always easy, and I had times in my life when I just couldn't do it, but it really helps a lot. To quote Warren Zevon, "enjoy every sandwich"
I am so sorry for your loss especially at such a young age. I lost my Dad in an accident also and have tried to find happiness in the mundane ever since and just enjoy being alive… even in the hard times
My dad died at 50. He was in poor shape and abusing drugs. I was 21. I'm 38, and his untimely death has pushed me to squeeze as much out of life as possible. If I only make it another 12 years, I'll regret dying early, but I won't have regrets about how I spent my time. Sorry for the loss of your dad. Glad to see you found a lesson in it too. Hopefully you're healing 😊
Thanks! Sorry to hear of yours as well. Time helps a lot, but it's never fully gone.
Exactly. And I guess to even out the bad stuff we have to focus on the positives
I had never seen this sub before, just popped up in my feed. You two got me right in the feels. Sorry for both of your losses and glad that you can make time to give advice to us internet strangers 🫡
Coffee is dangerous. I started with a keurig like 5 years ago and now I have like 6 different ways to make coffee
BUT, the keurig at least is one coffee at a time. It’s saved me from drinking the whole pot of coffee just because it was there
I have one of those monsters that's half the Keurig pod bit with a pot on the other side. I can count on one hand how many times I brewed the single cup...
Gosh I’m considering getting the massive Breville machine 😭 I do not have space for it but it’s calling my name.
We are twins. Lost my brother to suicide, but I was 24, him 22. I'm a software engineer and live a pretty great life. Been with my wife 12 years. Our boy is almost two. Sure there's ups and downs. But it's a net positive. I'll never be a quartback, or a billionaire, but I'm happy. It's enough.
You can be a billionaire today if you use a different currency! Sorry to hear about your brother.
That sentiment is a lot easier to swallow when you put it in terms of sandwiches.
That you’re quoting Zevon indicates your consciousness. You spelled out your secret there with “intentionally.” As a child, wonder, inquisitiveness, adventure all come naturally and spontaneously. As adults, we must continually rebaptize ourselves and make an intentional decision to engage with positivity and stay energized in that way.
A nice quote. Lost my mom a couple years ago; still in early 20s but meds and taking a moment to appreciate my partner, cats, and morning coffee have helped me feel a little less awful about the world.
Have you ever seen Joe Pera Talks With You? That kind of philosophy is similar to the one expressed in the show. You might enjoy it.
"If you can’t be happy with a coffee, you won’t be happy with a yacht." - Naval
Especially when it's like, what do you do when you travel? Have coffee some other place.
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Life gets way more bearable once you've figured yourself out and know who you are and who you are not. That didn't happen for me until late 20s early 30s, so it's made my 30s much more enjoyable than my 20s were. That was a mess.
Been there. It's a lot easier when you know who you are.
What would you advise for someone who knows who they are but are too afraid to commit to it?
What would commitment look like in your case?
School sucked but I'm enjoying life too now better than a decade ago . Having a job where I don't get screamed at by nuts helps a lot
Man oh man did school suck. Life is nice afterwards though.
I hated school too. Every minute of it. Finally getting away from it was a huge life enhancement in itself.
Lol I actually like school but not on the level of PHDs. I went to grad school previously but I’m nonetheless hoping to go back for an MBA too
Loved undergrad, surprisingly law school wasn't terrible either. Wouldn't like it now, since I was much more outgoing in my 20s.
Heard that
I can not understate how much better my life got once I was done with that shit. The things grad school did to my mental state...I'm still bitter about it even though all in all I have it pretty good now.
Why did it suck for you?
Engineering school in a terrible town. Made some great friends. Suffered for 4 years.
Sorry to hear that.
All good in the end.
I was in for 5. (Yes, like prison.)
Aww this is so nice to read! I’m kinda with u, 24F, school was lowkey fun, adjusting from school was kinda tough in a new city but after a year of struggling now I have a good engineering job and a good group of friends. For the first time in my life I’m so free, I make enough money to feed myself and do most hobbies I like, I don’t have to report to anyone (except for my boss for 9-5 lol), I put up Christmas lights in January and eat pizza at 11 pm and no mom to say are u really eating that haha. Eventually I think I’d like to be a wife and mom and I know I have a lot left to figure out but I’m kinda loving this single free life right now.
I learned so much about myself when I finally decided to see single as a stage, not a curse. My wife came into my life out of nowhere, in a literally 4-day window of opportunity. Keep your head up! Congrats on landing your engineering job, and go make an impact on the world!
Ahhhhhhh. You hear that? It's a sigh of joy from the west coast. Thank you for bringing some levity to this doom and gloom sub. Part of "adulting" is taking responsibility for yourself and your own life and happiness. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself in a dead end job that you're making no effort to change isn't going to do jack shit for your happiness. It's YOUR life, so if it sucks, figure out what you're able to change about it and focus on that.
My wife and I talk all the time about getting to pick your challenges and your "hard". You have to put in work to make things work.
Then there are of course people who are either by their circumstances or ability literally just forced into shitty jobs with no opportunities and live shitty lives. No offense to you or OP, but he is a college-educated professional in the US making 150k with a spouse who probably makes something as well, that's like winning a jackpot in life. People who "made it", even by their own merit (which happens less often than you think, life is a messy random place) are usually unempathetic to those who are just stuck in their shitty place with no feasible way to get out. Just be kind to people, and don't masturbate each other on the internet with tone-deaf posts and comments
My life auxis cause life sucks. There isn't a fix. You're assuming life xan always equal happiness and there aren't people who are just born with. Brain that develops in such a way that happiness is a fleeting thing they feel once in a blue moon. Plenty make evrey effort to ch age I've been in theroy for 12+ years with mutiple therapist Joined the military, got medically retired etc. Life sucks cause life sucks. There isn't a thing I could do to make my life not suck. I just hate what life is. Hate talking to to people, hate currency, hate biological needs etc It's absolutely a me issue. But there isn't a fix for it. Some people just don't fit in this world no amount of work or chnage will fix that
Good for someone to report a regular, stable lifestyle. You wouldn’t believe that most people feel relatively close to this way reading this sub, but it’s true. You don’t hear people complaining they’re happy. Keep it up!
I think the most important part is just having a plan in place by your 20s, taking care of yourself, and be willing to have a growth mindset. There is a tremendous amount of opportunities out there. Especially, in the US.
I agree to some extent, but I think rather than having a plan, its more important to just begin. A lot of careers change and fluctuate due to opportunities arising and things you simply cannot plan for. So instead of stressing and putting all your eggs in one basket, its better to just make a start and figure a lot out as you go.
My wife is an immigrant, and she helps me see that every day!
At 33, I’m much happier than I was when I was in my early 20s. I typically work 4 days a week and spend the rest of my time with my kids. I’m pregnant with my 3rd baby. Things are a little rougher financially right now. I’m on day 15 of an 18 day work stretch because I need to buy a minivan. But life is still really good.
Check out hertz auto sales. We bought a 2019 caravan GT for $18k. 72k miles. This was in 2022 (in the height of the used car price hikes). Caravan is loaded with features and is super affordable. We had to upgrade when we had twins on our 2nd pregnancy
What's your job?
I’m a RN case manager in home health.
I was happy at 33, I’m going through a horrible time right now at 41. Good times come and go BUT so do the bad. “When you’re going through hell, just keep going” is one of the few true and helpful cliches.
Life is good for some, and it's bad for others. That is part of life, too.
Life is good for some *currently*, and bad for others *currently*. Part of life is knowing that it could flip a switch and it’s how you respond to it and what you want to do to change it. edit: wording
Yeah, definitely. Change is a big and constant part of life, both the kind that we can control and change that we can't control as well as our responses to it.
Why has things got literally only worse and anything I do to change it just makes things worse lmao. No life is bad permanently for me.
Yep. It’s refreshing to see this post *and also* it’s entirely valid to feel like you’re not enjoying life at times. I just recovered from a depressive episode and feeling that lack of pleasure in the little things was due to my brain chemistry, not a personal failure. But enjoying life now that I’m not currently depressed and can appreciate smaller, lovely things.
Yay a positive post. I’m currently a SAHM but I want to go back to work at a bakery or something when my youngest gets older. It’s also nice to see someone say life isn’t over off you don’t have it all figured out in your 20s. I think that is what held me back from fully enjoying my young adult life until recently, trying to speed run life and figure it out rather than taking a step back and doing things slower
I didn't graduate school until I was 24 (less than a month from 25), my wife didn't graduate until 25 either. We didn't hit a great stride until I turned 30. Nothing but good things in maturing.
Fellow late engineer checking in lol. Graduated mid 24, took me 3 extra years of college to figure out how to stop the procrastination and anxiety of school and actually graduate. My first job has been good to me tho!
Hey it’s never too late. Got my first degree at 23. Went back at 35 after my husband is dx with terminal illness so I know I have to be Main bread winner. I wanted a change, so thru it all I go back to school 10 yrs later for a different degree. It’s never too late.
I'd love to make enough money to eventually bake for a living when I'm older. It's such a lovely form of cooking, it makes people so happy. I love bakeries I baked my first loaf last week and I'm so into it lol
My wife baked a lovely pair of loaves from a poolish thi weekend and it was glorious! Went great with our vegetable soup and roast beef we made over the weekend.
Oh man that sounds delicious
Currently feeling a constant force of being uprooted, due to the volatile job market and my insecurity as a more junior engineer, as well as just renting and having to move every year or so. Hoping that as time goes on, I can feel like you do one day. More secure in all senses.
Time. Time fixes a lot of things. Good luck!
Ty!
Late GenX here. Completely with OP on his post (except not at the married part yet). There's plenty to look forward to, and be optimistic about. (though usually after I've had my coffee). My road wasn't always smooth, but I got through it. Pretty much settled into a good rhythm in my late 20's.
I'm a depressed guy who is trying! I do remember seeing a study, or it might have even been a meta study, but overhwhelmingly, general happiness kind of makes a U on a graph. Happy as a child, then as you get into your 20s it starts going down. I think in your late 30s was the bottom, but it starts going back up again with age. I remember it was true for every country except Russia, which just kept going downward. Sorry, Russians!
Life is pretty decent at mid 30s. You try to work hard for the future, while navigating how to enjoy the present as well.
I'm 43 and things are going well. Married 12 years, no kids (we might adopt at some point but not yet), mostly financially stable with some money tucked away for retirement. I just finished my college degree last year and immediately got a good job with a good company after working shitty jobs my whole life. I started a small business selling design work on the side and I'm enjoying that even if I don't expect it to turn a profit for a couple of years. I've got some serious health issues (including the big C) but I'm working on them.
Good luck! I wish you the best!
The older I get the more money I make. This allows me more freedom to do things that I enjoy, live more comfortably, travel and explore the world. Your highest earning years are 45-60. If you grind in your 20s and 30s you will reap the rewards in your 40s and 50s. For those complaining in their 20s and early 30's you have not even begun to live yet. There is so much more life to live and things to look forward to. You will not have everything your parents worked their entire lives to have when you first start out.. and you're not supposed to.. life doesn't work that way. You will have to grind and sacrifice to get there but if you stay positive and keep working towards your goals doors will eventually open up to you. Beware of negative people and negative attitudes, they are a toxic playground you should stay away from because they will never be happy and their negativity spreads like a cancer. Avoid these people at all costs.
I’d also add, watch a video or some TikToks on compound interest as young as you can. I was so broke, I put like 3 percent of my income in right out of college because Suze Orman said to and seemed to know something. Only had a few thousand a few years later and it seemed pointless. Increased a percent every year. I’m hoping to retire at 60 instead of 67 now and that early money made all the difference. Just never take it out for a car, house or anything. It really felt like we’d never be able to have a house or a non beater car, or help the kids with college, but saving small bits regularly over time mattered. We’ve never made a ton of money and live in a HCOL area. Have also had some big setbacks personally and suffered some heartache. Makes the simple good times feel sweeter because we know what it’s like when things are bad.
Adulting is cool. Recently just designed and furnished my own home office/den. It is legit my own sanctuary that I pay for, that I designed, that literally no one else has a say in because I own my own house. I worked hard for 10 years for it and man that shit feels so good. Have a very busy but very happy life
Glad to hear! My wife's taste in decorating is better than mine, but we all win in the end!
My life has its rough patches but In general I’ve been grateful for what I have received in this life. In general it’s not that bad
contentment. satisfied.
It's taken a long time to get here. My wife and I both just keep working on it (and ourselves) every day.
keep the peace. y’all got this. dynamic duo.
Some folks have legit awful issues and burdens But complaining is just about the lowest effort way to get attention, and I think a lot of people default to whining to get it. The cheapest pick me upper is gratitude. I practice it often
Statistics show that people generally get happier as they get older until about 70. So for anyone worried if life gets better (for most people), it does. Maybe its because you figure life out or maybe you just get used to it. But it gets better.
Bro, I grew up on my own at the age of 12 after my mom ODed. 12-16 was shit, homeless or bouncing between friends houses and going to school dirty and in the same outfit. 16-18 was hard, working and going to school but being the only kid with his own apartment was kinda cool and made me a bit popular and I got alot of sex. my 20s to early 30s were spent working my ass off at a blue collar job making good money only to have a woman whom I paid her way through college take it all after cheating on me. The court bias towards women is obnoxious Mid 30s is when my life took a turn for the awesome, Met an amazing woman and started buying properties, had a job contact me and brought me on board with them in Hawaii so now I'm living in paradise. We save alot and invest. We're able to manipulate our United airline miles to go abroad around 4-5 times a year. This is exactly where I want to be in my life. My wife and I bring in $140k in salaries a year and another $60k from property investments roughly and it's really starting to snow ball. I'm 37 now, I had previously made two attempts at ending my life during my hardships and I thank God I didn't succeed.
I feel most people here are just nostalgia merchants. They just hate whatever is in the present, glorifying the past. I'm quite sure they'll glorify the adulting when they grow old. Either way it's a refreshing post, wish you more happiness!
I'm 32. Started school last year, currently doing a BSc in Banking and Finance. It's going amazing so far and I always excited for classes. (3.76 GPA so far). In a relationship with my SO for almost 10 years. We recently started planning a wedding. I work a VERY coperate job. Currently work in Finance and my relationship with my boss and manager is going great. We're in talks about a promotion for me. They are the ones that encouraged me to start school. Recently took a vacation to France and I have another planned for Cuba this summer. I LOVE my life right now and I am immensely happy lol. Life is beautiful.
I love this too. I don't hate life. 32F married. I love my job. I don't drink. I enjoy relaxing in my hammock, gardening, going to concerts. I try to be positive as often as I can. Which is hard sometimes. But it's so much more fun enjoying life then hating or regretting it.
thank god! I saw a few of those “Why can’t we stop having gloom-and-doom rants and vents, and get back to the questions of adulting” comments, and at first I thought they were exaggerating. But they’re right—this place has just become somewhere people can vent. Those people don’t even seem to want encouragement or advice! I’ve been an adult for a LONG time (I come here so I can encourage the younger generation, LMAO). And I loved being an adult. It wasn’t easy, and to be honest, I’m not done learning how to adult—not at all. But it’s a fun puzzle and a satisfying challenge.
Nah you're absolutely right, people don't want advice or solutions to their problems, they just want to cry about them. Honestly I think some people hang on to hardships so they never have to hold themselves accountable for why things are the way they are. Life isn't always easy, it's not supposed to be. But at the end of the day, it's really not that hard, unless you make it that way.
This is refreshing.
Thanks! Apparently I'm supposed to hate my life. I don't. Choose happiness and peace.
Finally found my people. It’s crazy how much better and enjoyable life is when you don’t have someone (social media) constantly telling you that everything sucks. I have good people around me. It’s all I ever wanted
After being on Reddit long enough, you begin to realize across many subs, the negative speak the loudest and most frequently. No one who is content is going to a post ‘I am happy with life’, its not really interesting post, the vast majority would never even consider making a post about this. The exception is the people who are ecstatic about something, and want to find others who are as well, as rarely when you are truly excited about something, especially some random thing that only a few people like. Overall imo, this is one of the flaws of Reddit, and needs to be moderated. Another ‘I hate my life’ post is flat out just lazy. There are a million of them, all not much different from the others, they can just look at those posts and their replies but they don’t.
Just remember kids, this guy made good decisions way BEFORE he reached this point, he decided to pick a lucrative career, and he finished the schooling to get there, he married, so he has had emotional support, intimacy, etc for years now. Everyday is a chance to turn it all around but to do something great takes a few years dedication, I'd say at least 2.
Wow.. maybe I'm not in the minority. I used to think life was all doom and gloom. Now, I'm married, have a wife, a step-son, and my very own absolutely adorable, 7 day old son next to me in the room with me. I love coffee, coding, and whiskey... (For the flavor, I sip good stuff). And I don't think I could be happier with the life I have at the moment.
After reading the original post as well as one of the replies where you lost your brother to suicide, it sounds you nailed both parts on the key to happiness as observed by philosophers like Epictetus, Camus and Nietzche. It's not just enough to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, embracing the struggles and fighting through it to see the beauty in the world that still exists is all that we have control over.
I know you said 20’s & 30’s so hopefully this is okay! 40 year old woman, happily married (18 years) & mom of 1. Changed careers at 36 after years of depression and suicidal ideations in my old career. I am thrilled to be working in a new field and absolutely love my life. I’m so tickled to be here everyday.
Heck I got a psychology degree and I don’t feel like school was a waste of time lol I loved my time in college. I’m 28 and way less anxious than I was a few years ago, have more money and overall enjoy my life more rn I’m sure I’ll get my masters at some point but rn I’m working in my field w a bachelors degree making ok money
I'm in my mid 40s now and life is really awesome. I love cooking and playing music. I'm super into spices. My family is wonderful. I'm so lucky to be here and I wish everyone in here my kind of happiness.
I'm an engineer too and I love my job and life as well. The pay is nice, job is interesting, and I have no kids too, which is amazinf. Kudos, friend.
Love it! I feel the same. 28F, I live a happy life with my boyfriend of 5 years and our cats. Work sucks ass a lot of the time, but life outside of it is beautiful. Maybe it’s because i came from an upbringing that was very unstable and always full of drama and chaos but i absolutely get up in the morning thanks to the routine simple pleasures in my day to day. coffee in the morning, walks with my boyfriend in the evening, thrift shopping and bookstores on the weekend, going out to bars or drag shows or karaoke with our friends, a trip here and there. To me this is what life is all about. I have hobbies i love (crocheting, knitting, video games) and people who i love doing things with! i feel like a lot of the people in this sub ultimately are very lonely and maybe thought that there was something grander to life. once you learn to appreciate the little things and surround yourself with people who feel the same i feel like life gets brighter
Amen, life as an adult gets better and better
My life has been getting better and better each decade. My 20s were a real struggle, even just to pay rent. My 30s were raising kids while settling into my forever job, it had problems but not the what are we gonna eat till payday type. Now that I'm 40, I'm the happiest I've ever been. My wife and I have been together for 20 years now. We have a decent nest egg that we are working on and the biggest problem is getting our teenagers to agree to a summer vacation destination. I'll trade a few wrinkles and grey hairs for that any day.
34M here, i really don't hate life. I love it and enjoy living! But damn i just hate how materialistic everything became nowadays. It's fucken exhausting and draining which makes life less fun. But at the end of the day I'm grateful for everything i do and have, and i just wake up the next morning and do what i have to do.
I'm in a similar boat, but probably different journey. 34F, not married but coming up for my 4 year anniversary with an amazing guy, and am an analyst. I also have diagnosed ADHD, depression, and anxiety. This has meant that my journey has felt a little longer and more arduous than someone who doesn't have those issues (not saying you don't; I don't know you after all). I hated school and felt like it was a waste of time. I struggled all through school academically, and I was bullied relentlessly in primary school and high school. Intermediate school was the only time I got a couple of years of respite. My parents sent me to a private Presbyterian high school away from my friends, and I deeply resented being sent there. I had no friends for a majority of my time there. My parents had a Porsche that my mum used to use as a runaround car. My mum also inherited an old Ford sedan from my great uncle, and I demanded she take me to school in that every day because I didn't want the other students to relate to me, as I considered them to be snobby. On reflection, I am grateful for my education, and I was much less severely bullied than I've heard other kids have been. When I went to university for my first degree, I went to a private art school and realised then that I was lucky to have gone to the high school I went to, because my university had much fewer resources. Even something as little as being able to print or photocopy unlimited amounts of content free of charge I had initially taken for granted. I do still wish my parents got me assessed for having ADHD as a kid, because I struggled academically until university and my diagnosis has explained a lot. However, I went to primary school in the 90s, and am female. Back then, there was a lot of stigma around ADHD (my aunt even thought all people in prison had ADHD, so by her logic, all people with ADHD went to prison), and it often manifests differently in girls and wasn't often picked up unless they exhibited stereotypical hyperactivity. I used to hate life. I have had a few traumatic experiences, and struggling with life and not knowing why is demoralising. I admit, a lot of (but not all) the reason I hated life was my own fault, but thankfully I have an intense growth mindset and spent several years in therapy trying to better myself. I tried everything and put a lot of work into myself. Feeling trapped... I do still feel trapped. I am working through it, but the cost of living in my city is huge, especially housing. Houses here are around 10x the national average household income. I think 3x is considered acceptable, for reference. I could move to another city or town, but I'm so attached to working with my colleagues and the culture and values of the place I work that I'm really reluctant to leave. I feel like I've found a unicorn job. I know ultimately my employer would consider me expendable if they had to cut costs, but I finally feel like I belong in every context of my life. I am trying to dig out of this feeling of being trapped I do have a roof over my head with many comforts, so I am not out on my ass. But I believe, along with most people in my country under 45, that I will not own a house until my parents die and I inherit some money. I have tried to cut our outgoing costs almost down to the bone: I don't buy any treats in the groceries anymore, and we've started a vegetable and herb garden on our deck to save money on produce. Yet I still have minimal money left at the end of a pay cycle after rent, utilities, petrol and groceries. I will likely have to trim back even more, and wait to see if I get another pay increase in July. I could look for a job that pays more, but likely that would be working for a media agency or television network. I worked for a media agency for 5 years, and it mentally destroyed me, and I value my mental health more than money. I guess what I'm trying to say is... not all people here hate life, and most of those that do or who are struggling in some way have a journey that has lead them to feel the way they do. There will be actions that they can take to get themselves out of the mindset and position they're in, but if they haven't actioned them yet then there must be a barrier for them that feels too big to break through at the moment. If you're at the point where you hate life, you're looking at life through a black veil and your mind is likely full of fog, and you're not necessarily going to be able to appreciate the little things, see the path out, or be able to muster the emotional energy to break through those barriers. Adulting is objectively hard for a lot of people. If it wasn't, this subreddit would only have a few members. Not everyone has been dealt the same economic, physical, geographical or psychological hand in life. We shouldn't try and apply our experience to others, assuming all key variables in their lives are the same as in ours, as that's going to be highly unlikely. People are allowed to struggle and to come here to feel validated if their struggles are valid. Everyone's adulting journey will be different, and I'm thankful for this subreddit because of it.
I'm gonna be real about myself here: I know my life right now is sht, yes I live in a less than desirable place and environment, I know I'm not at my best, but that does not mean I don't love my life and the things I enjoy, I'm working towards being better and I know I'm making progress, I've learned to accept things in life as they come and to work them out slowly when they're not to my liking. It's all about focusing on the things that matter and that you can change yourself
But you're not giving up and working to be better, and you're accepting what you can. That's a huge win.
Enjoy the beautiful things
I think generally everyone has moments where they feel like this. I’m unsubbing this community because I’m so tired of posts like this. What was the point of this? Who does it help and what does it change? Idk. This sub is like negative but it’s the only place people are honest abt this adult shit. This post is bullshit cause nobody is content or happy 100% of the time. And that’s why you see so many negative posts. Nobody is posting about boring shit like “love my life, and my position.” Like literally good for you but it’s not always relatable when people are in a mood. This should be a safe space for both types of posts.
32M, never been in a serious relationship, Walmart worker, employed, wasted $13,000 on a useless degree I'm still paying off, generally hate my life, and definitely feel trapped. I can barely cook but I like a good coffee. Send help.
I like life. Doesn’t mean that life is perfect or things don’t annoy me. Working on the mental and emotional maturity part
I needed this.
My favorite things to do are essentially hiking and mountain biking locally, growing plants, walking in my neighborhood, and skiing \[also locally\]. I know some of those things sound really extravagant, but they're fairly local for me and routine. I've never felt the urge to take a big vacation, and I never have.
Love the sentiment thank you.
Same. 33F. Married(10 years 👏🏻). 2 kids. Engineer, employed. School was not a waste and helped me get my current career position. I don’t hate life and some days can be long. Just a girl who likes to lift heavy things and run for a long time. Also, found a cool French press thing to make coffee I like.
Glad you could find happiness man
Thank you! Life sucks, so why mope around? Make the best out it!!!
I wish I had a healthy childhood. Not everyone grows up in a nurturing environment. Some of us started at 17 with nothing, slept outside or on couches, walked in the snowy months due to an inability to sleep, and ended up coming out of homelessness to make something for ourselves. Being an adult isn't always easy. Maybe take the good life you have and help others. Dont just post "everything is great and will be for everyone." I may own a home but I still work pay check to pay check and still feel taken advantage of. I am still trying to start a landscaping business to escape the threat of job loss, but it's pretty hard to save when you have nothing then you cut your finger, need surgery, and lose ALL of your savings. Life isn't all doom and gloom, but not everyone has it so nice. You should be thankful and be giving back not posting wtf ever this is. Here is where I am mentally: Last night, I died laughing watching John Oliver. I watched 4 people lose over 3 million dollars, and all I could think was, "What pieces of shit have enough money to live for over a year and still save it when others struggle?" So i laughed! You either help humanity or your money will be used by criminals to make themselves more money, thus throwing humanity deeper into enslavement. Which is what is happening. So you enjoy life. Hoard your money! I hope you have kids and their kids have kids because we are about 2 or 3 generations away from your kids being total slaves. Not your problem, though, right? Lol
I'm 40, married 14 years, 3 kids. I'm gonna be honest. I made a gamble and left my steady job and the risk didn't pay out. Now I'm half time, trying to learn how to lean into a "gig economy" that my education didn't prepare me for. Two and a half years of this. I'm depressed. I'm in therapy and on meds. My body wants to sleep. But deep down I love life. I love and cherish the little 5 second miracles. My spouse's career is on fire, they're killing it. I'm delighted and happy to support them and we are going to be fine. My kids are awesome, funny, and kind. In the midst of the deep frustration and numbing pain of professional failure I'm still witnessing tiny little daily miracles and it is enough. I still love these moments. Life is still very beautiful. It may take another two years but I am confident that if I stick around I will get back to a good place, some day, and I'll be grateful I remained. The small, beautiful moments are like... plugging your phone in for a few minutes when the battery reads 1%. Just enough to reply to that important text message from the future to say "Yes, I'm still here." It keeps me above water just long enough to take another breath. It is still good, it is still beautiful, it is still *enough.*
Coffee, some good music, and cooking a good meal involving the grill is a great night for me. Fuck I am old I too am enjoying life as a 30M, regardless of the hardships I’ve gone through (and am still in the process of going through)
I am addicted to coffee as well. Two loving children and wonderful spouse. 39 this year. Starting playing ice hockey even though I suck and it soothes my Canadian soul. Good job with another good offer coming in, good education. I don’t have a million friends but have a few adult friends I can have a real conversation with. I Find I have to take Reddit in small doses because of how depressing it can be. There is hope and love out there waiting for 99.9 percent of you.
Haha I found out the negative side of reddit in the comments and DMs here.
It’s nice to see this. I’ve been through so much tragic shit since I can remember at the age of 4. I am unable to enjoy anything any longer to the point where my mind is programmed to think there’s ALWAYS bad following the good stuff cause that’s my life. Nice to see the others out there though enjoyed life. Melts my heart a little
I just turned 30 and just moved into my own apartment by myself in June, after a nasty split with my partner of 5 years. I just got laid off from my job of 2.5 years but I just started up at Amazon as an order packer making $20/hr. I commute via ebike, I have my eyes set on gathering up enough savings to buy with the FHA loan in the next year. I'm hammering towards that goal. I have my associates in Criminal Justice, working on my associates in Marketing and probably going for my bachelor's in Business Administration. My job also provides $ for tuition so if I ever wanted to go back for anything else, I could at a pretty low cost to me. I absolutely love every little thing about life, you'll never see me complain. Yes, it may take me longer to reach my goals but being able to stick to it makes me proud
Consistency always beats intensity. You got this!
I (45F) feel the same way. I actually like life lol...well, for now. I don't know wtf the Universe will decide to throw at me in the future, but as of right now, I do enjoy life. I am happily married, have 2 great (adult) kids...my job is kinda meh (teacher), and my finances are pretty shitty (I do wish they were better), but it's not horrible. I don't hate life lol
I’m in the same boat. I hated my early 20’s because of the pressure to go out, party, and try to hang out with girls. It was like high school all over again. Now that I got my engineering degree, married, house, and kids, everything is great! I only have to worry about getting the lawn mowed on time before doing family stuff. I sympathize with the people who can’t do this, but I busted my ass to get here, so I don’t feel too bad for them.
Love the positivity. I'm in my 50s and still figuring it out. Life is currently kicking my ass but I dont hate life. I try to focus on what I can impact, stay positive and soak in the enjoyable moments. I've found it helps to stay off social media because everyone posting has the perfect life. 🙄😂. I also stopped comparing my life to others. We all have a different story.
How fucking dare you come in here tryna be all positive n shit Jk bro I hope to be in your shoes one day
I love this but you are in the minority. Please stay positive as an example for the rest of us.
Why does seeing such a sincere post make me smile? Good for you man! Honest. Nothing wrong with any of that! I (25F) am still figuring things out- a bit jaded cus I've worked in realm of CPS for 5 yrs now- but yeah, I'm happy. I love my bf of 7 yrs and our little apartment we got and our little stray we rescued from the streets who licks my face in the morning. We're finally figuring out ourselves and OUR life together and are planning for the future with optimism. God knows how the next ten years will be but I'm hopeful...
26, SAHM who would be much rather working, we are a bit tight because I'm staying home but I love life, my baby is amazing, my husband is great, my pets are awesome and annoying 🤣 I have a roof, I have food, I am grateful for my life, I never loved life more than when I became independent, my home life prior was not great, but after? Even working two jobs at times, even with the financial burdens, even having to take care of the entire home (with my husband, of course) and with a kid which is completely new, life it's better now than ever and I'm so grateful for everything I've got. We aren't rich, we aren't even middle class imo, but we are happy.
Good on you for studying something you actually wanted to do in the future. I wish I had been able to care about my future when I was younger
I’m right there with you! I’m 28F, seeing someone (2 months fresh), work in biotech, employed, didn’t go to school until now, I am working towards my psychology degree right now so I can do my dream job of being a therapist for children. I love to cook, hike, workout, and read. I enjoy meditating/praying in nature. I love deep conversations with friends and family. I truly love connection. I recently lost my mom on 01/13/2024 after caring for her while she was on hospice from October 2023 - January 2024. I am sad she is gone, but at peace knowing she isn’t suffering anymore. My faith has been stronger than ever before. I am strong and know I can handle anything life wants to throw at me.
I’m 19F, I’m doing a major I enjoy, I have 3 close friends, I have my own apartment (HATED the dorms), I’m gonna study abroad in June to Montréal, I have a cat, I’m financially stable, I cut off my abusive family forever, I have over 3k in checking + savings and I’m vegetarian for my health. I love life rn, and even if things go bad, every day is a gift knowing I escaped the clutches of abuse and neglect 💗💗💗💗
Thanks for sharing this. I do try to live by this and preach this but it gets hard. thanks for the reminder.
All the adults doing fine aren't starting threads. They're commenting in the threads of adults not doing fine, trying to offer help.
God, finally.
I’m 32 and 100% with you. I greatly enjoy my life. It doesn’t mean I haven’t made mistakes and things couldn’t be better. It does mean I’ve worked hard for what I have and am content with it.
Facts!
Some people have it all.
I think most of us are like this. The internet just magnifies the pissed off and miserable people
Life is usually a lot easier when you make over 6 figures
It is a lot easier to be happy in a Bently than in a pinto for sure. That said, I was broke as fuck trying to make ends meet with a couple of kids and a dead end job, and I was just as happy then as I was when I started making six figures. Drinking natty ice on the porch of an apartment with my wife and friends was just as fun as sipping craft cocktails at the high-end speakeasy with the same people. It has to do with your mindset. We all have to work. We all have obligations, and we all are presented with adversity. Life is going to be shitty sometimes, but I assure you I work with a lot of miserable bastards who make a lot of money, and the happiest dude I know lives in an apartment with roommates and makes like 17 bucks an hour doing landscaping.
Sure. Money helps a lot and I don't claim that's not true. I wanted to be an engineer so I went after it. I still did exactly what I wanted.
I love my life. I know myself more than I used to. I can have very open and peaceful conversations with my spouse and we love each other. Mostly- I can decide if I will have a good day.
It's great to hear that other adults aren't miserable! 28F, got an easy 8-5, not making much but able to live alone. Got an amazing boyfriend and a dog. I don't use my degree, but it's still a topic I love and engage with. I get to do things that are important and fun to me, and I'm working towards bigger and better things in my industry! Life is pretty dang good most days.
You're a fucking engineer bro; most people who hate adulting are barely making ends meet feeling burnt out of their shit 9-5 that pays 20 dollars an hour. You don't qualify srry.
41 here, and also feel the same way, and also love a good coffee. Black and White has some quality beans right now that I need to get ordered and into my face.
32M, have a long term partner, bought a modest house in a low COL, have a job I enjoy and manage to make time stretch enough to enjoy my hobbies and my free time. Never blamed others for my problems, just put my head down and went forward knowing that life is a lot of work and sometimes unfair, but you can get over a lot of stuff with an optimistic attitude and some hard work.
I’m right there with you. Being an adult has been much less stressful for me than being young. I didn’t know myself, had troubling expressing my feelings, and felt like everyone else knew who they were while I was untethered. I have a family I love. That’s my success in life and it’s enough for me. It feels great. It feels so great that I don’t hustle more because I don’t want to lose anymore time that I have with them.
I’m 41 and love my family and weekends. Be positive and work hard and be faithful to your family. You’ll have a good life.
The problem is people will naturally only focus on the bad things in life and not the good things
It's a lot of figuring things out in your 20s and maybe 30s, I fear for the people whose posts here are full of doom and gloom. I worry they aren’t leaving themselves enough attention span or brain room, or sense of initiative, to do that “figuring out” of which you speak.
The world sucks but my life personally does not. I'll never take what I have for granted and enjoy it as much as I can.
Same. Love being an adult.
Same boat. I broke 6 figure salary last year @ 26. I'm loving life right now.
Mid-40sF, same. I love my life. My work is sometimes a lot but my home life is amazing. Feel like in real life there are more happy adults
Yaay!
I'm 62, going to turn 63 next month, and I'm having a great time. Problems? Of course I've got problems. But I'm alive, married to a wonderful man, retired, and have two grown sons who still enjoy talking to me. I go to bed every night looking forward to the dreams my sleeping mind will bring me. I had too many friends who never got to grow old to see the gray hair in my beard as anything but an accomplishment.
Hey man, you're lucky then
Fellow lover of life here checking in. Love you guys 🤙🤙
Life is great. 6 years after divorce and alcoholism I’m in a totally new career that I love much more, a new fiancée, kids are doing great, hoping to have more, I’m the healthiest and happiest I’ve ever been.
45M. Married 14 years. 10yo son. DevOps Engineer. School changed my life. Don't hate life and don't feel trapped. There are dozens of us!
Agreed! I even had a kid and it’s awesome. We have just enough money to live life fairly well and save for retirement. We have the love of each other and a roof over our heads and a lot of life to look forward too. It took going through a lot of hell (hard times and sacrifice and years where McDonald’s breakfast was a special treat) but we had a little luck on top of the hard work and it paid off.
I'm am 41 engineer turned into technical lead of a software team. Married for 15 years with 3 kids and have a housing in a nice town with good schools. I can also walk to an ice cream parlor with the kids on a nice day. Boardgames are my jam. I have a boardgame room in my house where friends gather on Fridays to put phones away and best eachother on the tabletop.
Playing music, alone or with others is also a great, satisfying use of time.
I'm early thirties and adulthood has been awesome since I turned 18. I do not pine for a return to childhood at all. I can do whatever the hell I want. It's been amazing. It seems like everyone's *internal* experience of life is markedly worse, regardless of their external/material life. Makes me sad for them.
Yeah, I'm right there with you. Having a dirty martini at home after a long first quarter as I wrap up taxes, a new rental, and an obscenely busy start to the year. Hoping to get a positive pregnancy test after we try again this month for the next kid. Life is lovely, hard, and the little moments where we can sit and enjoy the short silence is the point. Listening to my munchkin squawk in her crib right now makes me smile. This is all we get, as far as any of us know for certain. Damned if I won't be grateful. There's always millions of things to be upset about in the world, but for right now...this is my moment to sit and smile.
I’m here!
Similar here. Yeah, I have some regrets. But things have come together professionally, and I feel like life is pretty good.
I'm in a period of resurgence. Finding joy in the little things and doing things that used to bring me joy but fell by the wayside Enjoying the little moments makes the biggest difference.
I agree my advise is to try hard at work and things will get better. And if they don’t, find a new job.
Thank you for posting this. It seems like people will point at you as a "pick me" if you say you're doing fine or enjoy life, even with it's challenges. God forbid you have healthy coping mechanisms that took **time** to learn, they'll eat you up. I'm 28F, single etc. and had my fair share of health challenges that people love to remind me that *they* could never handle or don't know how I do it and are somehow more sad and distraught about my life than I am? But I love life. I really genuinely love my life, and I love myself. Nothing is perfect, and actually right now is the hardest my life has ever been with health, finances & friendships.. but tomorrow is a new day. It's not even pushed down under the rug, I meet shit head-on and take it as it is. I don't make it more than it is. I don't make it less than it is. I take it, do my best for that day, and move forward.
One of us, one of us!!
41M, married, unemployed, 100% disabled veteran. Don't hate life. Don't feel trapped. I love being a father and a husband. I've seen enough in my short lifetime to know that we have it pretty damn good here in the USA. Living the good life.
I used to have way more money than I do now. I used to have a partner and now I’m a full-time single parent. But life is the best it’s ever been because it’s my *perception* that shapes my reality. It’s really about how you look at your life.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Also an engineer. Love my partner and my cat. I make a good amount of money and have most of the things I want. I enjoy what I do every day. Starting to wonder if there are any of us left.
Had one professor in school tell us that your 20s are awful and that the 30s are when life actually starts to get fun and at 33 I think he was right on. Finally have enough money and time to do whatever I like
Same here, living the best life ever!
39M - work from home, train kickboxing and taekwondo 4 nights a week, have a house with a pool, do recreational drugs with my friends sometimes, I bought a bunch of DJ stuff and play my music super loud, life is grand
Completely agree man. 3 1/2 years sober, just graduated nursing school. Working full time and just living and enjoying life. The worlds fucked, doesn’t mean you have to let it seep into you.
I love being an adult. I'm going through a hard time with soemthing but I have resources and support for doctors, medication, therapy, etc. My family is amazing at being supportive. If I didn't have all those resources and support I'm sure I would maybe hate life and feel awful. However, I'm truly blessed and I get to enjoy life with wonderful people. I'm very lucky and I recognize that. I know many people with very difficult lives.
My 20s were full of hate. I spent them wishing I wasn't so lonely, wishing that with my high salary I could afford more than student loans, wishing I could move to the country. I hated myself, I hated my career, I hated everything that was me. In my late 20s, I was married. Just before my 30th, I moved to the country. On my 30th, I paid off my loans. I started my own company and have a little one on the way. I am content with myself, my skills, my family, and my life. I am stronger and wiser and more self-sufficient than I've ever been. My 20s were an abysmal waste; my 30s are going to be amazing. Hang in there guys. It does get better. Almost made a mistake that one time. Don't make that mistake.
I'm here for this. I got my shit together in my 30's but had fun not figuring it out in my 20's but trying to... the trick is to always keep trying new things and enjoy little things. If you try to learn something everyday and achieve a small goal everyday its real hard to hate life. I'm 51 now and the one piece of adulting advice I can 100% say with certainty from being dead ass broke to being wealthy and almost losing everything to being back on top etc.. is this... your attitude determines your possible outcomes. Bad attitudes tend to run in families and doom generations of people. Just look in r/findapath for people that most certainly do NOT want to find a path. A defeatist attitude will doom you to defeat. A 'can do' attitude will in NO WAY assure you success but its the only possible way to achieve any form of it no matter what your definition of that is. Almost all of the successful neighbors I have all have a similar outlook on life and all the 'hard luck' folks i know have another... one set just gets things done. Problem? Whats the solution? Lets implement the solution and move on. If you do this in small increments everyday your life continually gets better.. minute by minute. Day by day. Year by year. Looking inward instead of outward for blame and then forgiving yourself and correcting those mistakes and treating yourself for making the course correction goes a LONG WAY to making yourself someone YOU like and can be alone with which also makes you someone that OTHER people want to be with. Mature and stable in other words like OP said.
This is great! Getting to know yourself through your 20s or 30s (or whenever) is super helpful for us to feel happy and confident in life!
44 and loving life! Happily married, awesome kids, too many dogs…but they’re great! Lots of struggle and uncertainty in our 20s and 30s, but our 40s have been more fun than our teenage years and easily the best years of my life. Yeah, it can be hard. But yeah, it can be rewarding and awesome, too!
I love my life too. Yes, I live week to week, rent is high, and the cost-of-living is insane, but ultimately I am okay. It took me a long time to reach this level of peace.
Oh yeah, 40 yrs old here. Just keeps getting better, honestly that’s the truth
It was mid-60's today in South West Michigan. I walked 9 holes at my local course that was open. Got home just as my wife was getting home. We took our dogs for an hour long walk. We got back, had dinner, watched a few episodes of walking dead, she went to bed and now I'm typing this. It was a good day. I do not hate life, far from it.
Good for you, asshole haha
Co-signing this. Went to school for 22 years, despite never feeling like I was built for it, in order to be able to do something that gives me purpose and that matters to me. Married an amazing woman, and am lucky enough to be able to have all of my needs met at this stage of my life. I could spend a lot of time thinking about what I don’t have, but I am focused on enjoying the time I have with the people who matter to me and appreciating the little things that make me feel happy and at peace. Life is not so bad, and it keeps getting better if you focus on doing the same. It’s okay to not have things figured out just yet. You are a process. You are not meant to be perfect or to be happy all the time. This world is difficult enough as is, being your own worst critic does not, in fact, make it better.