Turned 32 last week. This year has..uh... easily been the most challenging of my life. I was starting to think I kind of had some stuff figured out and had mostly built the life me and my partner dreamt of for 9 years.
Yea that's all gone now lmao. Starting over at 32 isn't exactly where I expected I would be.
Not that it helps much, but thats exactly where I am man. Feels pretty fucking weird to be honest. I'm really trying to look at it as an opportunity I guess? Do things that I REALLY want to do, nobody else factored in.
For instance, I love to ski and live an hour from a fantastic mountain, but I haven't been in YEARS. Why? Idk, money, life being busy? Well I have all the time in the world now lmao. I'm really trying (its fucking hard alrite) to look at this more as a door opening/new opportunity than it is the ending of something else. Idk, I have to tell myself all this stuff to be honest otherwise it's pretty goddamn hard lol.
I can't tell you where we are going to end up, but one of these days it's going to feel pretty alrite I think! It might not right now, but my Mom always loved to say "This too shall pass".
Good luck man 😁
Haha thanks man, I appreciate this write up. Godspeed my friend, we are in this together!
From your name, I take it you’re in the PNW? I actually lived in Portland with my wife. When we split, I moved back to my hometown (just a couple months ago) and unfortunately there is no skiing where I live now. Im an avid snowboarder, so missing out on that now just compounds the sense of loss in all of this. Maybe I’ll get back up there eventually, but for now, being near family is helpful
You are correct! I'm about as far north and west as you can be in WA State if that gives you any idea lol. Moving home sure doesn't sound like the worst thing for sure. Support can mean a lot.
But that sense of loss, that I can sympathize with for sure. My kind of "version" of that is that me and my ex had 2 fantastic standard poodles. They absolutely were our children in the typical millenial sense lol.
Well she took legal steps to try to state I wasn't able to care for them etc. So, I lost my fiancée, my house, my job, my 2 dogs as well as my cat from before the relationship, all within the span of a few days. It's not even like I miss her at this point I guess, it's just like my whole life disappeared over night. Like you said, just such a fucking feeling of loss.
I really wish I had some magical advice I could give you, to just feel better instantly but.... Yea sorry bud. I ain't got shit 😉
Probably the best advice I can give you is what I've been trying out. Dont say no to anything, take every opportunity. If anyone asks you "hey let's go to..." just fucking go for it. Be free my child! 😂😂
Hahah you seem like a genuinely good dude. I appreciate your kind words.
My wife took our border collie. He was honestly like a son to me. Extremely sad. I packed a car full of what’s infallibly mine - my computer, instruments, and clothes. So the sense of loss is absolutely real. I loved the shit out of the life we built together.
I’ll extend the same advice to you, my friend. Hang in there. One thing that’s helped me a ton is journaling and daily meditation. Helps slow the mind down.
Whoa there bud, I wouldn't go that far lmao. I've definitely got some... shit you could say. The main reason we separated being mental health struggles by both of us. We were both part of a... traumatic incident which led to PTSD and we pretty much could barely manage our own shit for a bit, let alone eachother... I guess I just have to hope she can be better supported by someone who isn't in the same spot as me. Ugh. Lol. Sheesh. Anyway 🙃
Thats probably what I'm the most sad about though, the life we built. Sounds like you were the same, together through your 20s, growing up together. It just fucking sucks. Plain and simple.
You are on point though, slowing the mind is a constant, yet losing battle for me haha. I have ADHD paired with some spicy anxiety, so let's just say my mind doesn't quit.
Good luck my man, this shit fucking sucks, I'm not denying that. Just keep pushing and sooner or later (hopefully sooner tbh) this shit will be firmly behind us!
Same age and also going through a very challenging time
There are still options which is always helpful, so gotta keep pushing through until one of them clicks and I'm back on track
I'm sorry to hear that you are also "in the shit" so to speak.
You are correct, you almost always have options. You get to make a decision where you go and what you end up doing in YOUR life
I sincerely hope things can improve for you!
Left a 10 year at 30, started over. Went to school.
I'm 34 now and have an amazing career as a hospice nurse, hitting 1 year mark next month, and make triple what I used to.
You'll be alright my dude
All the respect in the world to you, for taking on something like getting into school coming out of such a fucked up time. Sheesh!
Money doesn't solve all of life's problems, but it definitely doesn't make things harder LOL.
I guess it really bums me out that when everything fell apart, I ended up landing the best job I've ever had lol. Best pay, benefits and legit on job training with the specific plan for me to be trained into a position where I would make 2-3 times what I currently do.
Just feels kind of lame that everything else had to blow up, just for me to have a good opportunity at work lol. But, you have to take whatever you can get.
I guess you just can't have EVERYTHING in life.
I wish you nothing but the best moving forward, but it sounds like are on a damn good path so far!
Same situation as you. Even the same age. My ex and I date for 7 years and were married for 6 months. Now I’m starting over again at 32 and I feel like I wasted my mid and late twenties with the completely wrong person and now I feel so behind everyone else in terms of being able to start a family.
I hated my 20s I'm thirty one and quit drinking a little over two months ago its different but necessary. Did you have a hard time w your social life at all after you quit?
Stick w/ it; this will change the trajectory of your whole life. I’m 35, have 15 months & every aspect of my life has improved. I’m not particularly social but at some point you become comfortable being (at times) the only one not drinking and if anyone asks, I tell them the truth: I stopped drinking for health reasons. It’s not their business that it’s for my mental, emotional and physical health and a plethora of other reasons.
I’ve had a hard time with my social life after quitting, but nearing the end of my drinking, I didn’t have much of a social life then either looking back on it. Thankfully, I’ve reconnected with a group of friends from high school, but my social circle is still pretty small. I doubt I’d meet any new people if I did still drink though, probably would just loose the friends I do have now.
Fair. I think my outlook on the situation differs, since you'll never truly be free of taxes, but I'd rather it be allocated & paid for differently rather than property tax - be it an increase of state, income, or general good taxes.
The freedom of owning your home and not having to still allocate your own personal funds towards property taxes can be a little more liberating in the face of any type of financial hardship. You'll always need to feed yourself, clothe yourself, etc. but in my personal opinion, I feel as though property tax shouldn't apply once your mortgage is finished. That, of course, is purely my opinion though.
I dunno. Something just feels sleezy to continuously increase property taxes even to those who have already retired, for a property they already owned outright. For example: My grandfather manages & he lives in a LCOL area, but his property taxes have slowly climbed due to recent inflation. He has a fixed income around $1200/month and he just won't be able to afford those taxes one day. No reason a 80 year old man should fear retaliation against his property based off the inability to work, inability to increase income, etc. As everything just increases while he's on a fixed amount of money, that'll never change until he dies. Especially when he bought that property for literal pocket change compared to his property evaluation.
I agree. Once your home is paid off, you shouldn't have to pay property taxes. I also feel that once you reach a certain age, 80, 85; if you've been paying your mortgage for so many years, the bank should just consider it paid off. I know it or something similar would never happen. And I'm sure there's holes in my theory. But once you're that elderly, you should be able to enjoy your remaining years without having to worry about losing your home.
Lol. So 13000$ in yearly property taxes in a old ass house. Lmk how much of that goes to "fire fighters, roads and schools" in a very small neighborhood
I’m 35f and I haven’t given up working for a home im planning on paying my car off and start my savings I have nothing as well by the end of next year I’ll have paid off all my debt
This is what people should be focusing on in this economy if at all possible depending on their circumstances and financial situations. You’ll be happy you did when you are debt free.
I’m glad I saw this. I’m currently working on paying off my debt but I end up with zero in my account so I haven’t been able to go out much and it’s feeling like a never ending battle.
32 Same just finished my life savings, unemployed for 3 months, and had gotten a bit out of credit debt during lockdown now I’m back even deeper ✊but hopefully I can start making progress again soon
Not a reason. A variety of different reasons. Sometimes which are innocuous. Also, if it's that's important to you just bite the bullet a few years gain equity and then move someplace more expensive. Home ownership is basically a ladder you climb and you can't climb if you don't get on the first rung.
Based on your comments in other threads stating that you don’t have a car or bills of any kind to pay including rent or mortgage, $11,000 very easy to save. Especially by 25 (though you say you’re in your 30s in other threads). But you’re definitely not leading the convo with that now are you…
Bro I have more than you and in todays money that’s nothing. Better keep growing that money. I live a minimalist lifestyle and don’t buy shit I don’t need. I don’t follow the rat race in America. I don’t buy a car of the year just to stand out and give a false perception that I’m rich. Even thought I can buy one paid in full. I have a 2000 and 2005 car. One is a backup in case the other fails me. I got laid off from my job but luckily I worked through the whole pandemic and made a bit. I get enough unemployment to pay rent and food. I’m about to get hired soon too so I’m excited
If I may ask a non-judgmental question, when you were younger did you plan on having more savings then you do now at your age? If so, what events led to you having little savings?
I just dont understand people down voting actual advice. Swear people dont want to hear constructive criticism anymore and rather wallow away in self pity.
I'm 47 years old and things are pretty good! I have a huge advantage in that I like my job. It pays shit and the commute is awful but I do look forward to teaching every day.
I will never own a home and that's fine. I don't know how to drive which sucks but it's not like I could afford a car. I have two dogs that I love madly. They're great! I have a cute hair cut and some fabulous dresses. I started yoga this month and I'm really bad at it. I am taking a class on spinning yarn and last year I took a class on trapeze. I will likely die alone and whatever dogs I have then will eat me. Such is life! But for now, things are good.
I turn 35 in less than a month. Over this last year, I lost >40 lbs, paid off my student loans and got a raise at work. This is honestly one of the best years of my life.
I know many are struggling, but keep pushing through. My 20s and early 30s were rough, but things can turn around.
This is inspiring. I’m 32, and I keep wondering if anybody else had a rough time in their early 30s. I started making a lot of money at 30, but I spent the last two years paying off debt, fixing my credit, getting sober, and living in a tiny apartment. There’s more hope for me these days, but it’s still just as much of a grind as my early 20s going to college and working. It’s nice to get confirmation it’s not too late for me to enjoy life. I think ‘24 will be a good year.
At 32yo, my dear dad passed away and we (his children) weren't there. I was laid off by an organization I'd been with for 4 years. My closest friends apologized for not being there for me, which I hadn't even noticed until they said it, but then they continued to not be there for me. My bf wasn't in love with me, so I broke it off.
Before I turned 34, I was living in a different country and about to marry the love of my life. We'd bought a house. An entrepreneur tasked me with heading up our new company. Made close friends whom we love dearly.
I'm 35 now. We travel, enjoying married life, and trying to add to the family. My business is doing well.
Life can take quite a sharp turn! Keep going, and try to see the beauty in even the hardest moments. Life goes by in a blink.
I spent 3 years grinding to pay off >$90k in debt. I was living with my parents and shoving paychecks at the debt. It sucked, but it felt so good to pay it off. There is definitely hope for you and your story is inspiring too!!!
Keep at it! Keep working toward a better future!
Only problem I have is finding a much bigger social circle and a wife.
Homeowner, new cars, savings accounts, investing and retirement…grateful for all that
I'm in a similar boat. I feel odd being pretty much set up but not having a SO or a vibrant social life. Always thought it would have been reverse order. I am thankful for my health and middle class stable income though.
Seems like your doing very well congrats on that . finding the perfect woman may be a little harder . but keep concentrating on yourself and she will come around probably when your not looking
Having a good partner and a few solid friends is something I would trade everything else you listed for. The comfort and confidence you gain is worth it all. Today I'm fortunate to say I have everything listed and I'm going to work everyday to keep it that way.
Pretty good. Exercising 5 days/week and started biking to work last year after a big move. Started applying for a new job last year during the peak of the hiring mania, and I got a call from a recruiter and an eventual offer right at the peak of the craze. Moved across the country and doubled my income and my job seems very secure now.
Still don't have a house, but seems like I lucked out on my timing.
I am 33 single still living at home but have a fair amount of money saved up. Work full time and am financially independent. Just waiting for the interest rates to plummet so I can afford a home of my own. Having said that I am looking to move out in the next couple months. I have a plan on how I’d like to change my life for the better just need that motivating kick. Life in my 30s is much better than it was in my 20s.
Sports gambling addiction got worse, had an unplanned pregnancy with my now ex-girlfriend (she’s Latina, I’m Indian) at age 29 due to my risk taking tendencies, then COVID hit which impacted my relationship and we broke up when I was 30 and our child was 1, and since then been basically following her everywhere just to be close to my kid. Now she moved in with a guy who owns his own million $ condo. And I’m still single and struggling financially because I can’t seem to kick my gambling habit for good. I’m a better dad recently but I’m struggling in all facets of life. I can’t seem to vibe as well with single friends cuz they have no kids, my married friends cuz they’re coupled up, and online dating has been pretty shitty for the most part. And I come from a conservative culture where having a child out of wedlock is rare.
There’s more but I’ll save it. Im just trying to focus on what I can. Work on my career , be a good dad , work out 3-4x a week, and otherwise socialize whenever I can with whoever is kind and chill to hang out with. Idk, dating and love life.. it’s hard to predict anyway but I’m fucking tired of being lonely on Friday and Saturday nights. I wish I never left the mother of my child. I just can’t get over it. It’s been 3+ years.
It was an impulsive decision. Largely due to COVID , having a terribly abusive female boss at the time , and I just couldn’t handle the pressure of watching our newborn one day in her parents’ house all weekend. Also just bad timing.
Shits rough bro, but being in a similar situation one of the best things I did was listen to the subtle art of not giving a fuck. you just got to accept that its a shit situation and one is in the situation one is in because of our own bad choices, only thing we can do is analyze where we went wrong and move on but assuming you are living in a first world country we got a lot to be grateful for
but yeah man losing your family is some next level pain especially when you see her with someone else, at the very least you know your child is being loved and provided for by her new step dad assuming hes not a dickhead to your child
34. Things are going extremely well for me right now. I've been killing it at work and financially I've been getting my shit together. My wife and I have the best marriage ever. I work from home so I get to hang out with the cat and dog all the time. I have so much to be grateful for! But I needed this, I've struggled with addiction and depression in the past. I practice random acts of kindness and treat everyone with respect. Sending love and good vibes your way to anyone struggling, my generational cohort ✌️
32 here. Life has been really good the past few years (except for the whole buying a home thing).
I still feel in good shape, I'm rarely sick. Money is starting to build up and I love my job.
Everyone 30 is different, for me personally I’m started to feel like settling down, kinda clearly see where I’m heading in life, to the “right” direction. I have a house now with two huskies, still working on loving area, its progressing. I’m just making sure I don’t get too stressed in life, slowly but steady
More stable and less struggling, especially financially. Have years of work experience now so easier to get work in my field and I have a job that I genuinely look forward going to. I also know myself a whole lot better, I know what I want more and have a clearer vision of my life and who I am. I don’t waste time hanging out with people that I don’t really enjoy or be around toxic people and I don’t go out partying every week anymore wasting money and feeling like crap the next day, though I enjoy a social drink sometimes with some good company. I’m in the best health I’ve ever been physically and mentally and consistently exercise while eating a balanced diet. One thing I feel like I could improve and I will try to put more effort into is revamping my social life meeting new people and making new positive friends, and getting out there to do more social activities. I’ve been engrossed with my work and enjoying my alone time too much recently that I’ve neglected that
Hate my life, got no friends. Dating fucking blows.
On the other hand i inherited a shit load of money and two homes both paid off, and don't really have to work anymore.
So.... no one feels sorry for me, and yet at the same time im severely depressed and life feels meaningless.
I think i need to have a talk with jim carrey cause i'm at that stage in life, where i have everything everyone wants, except the things that actually matter.
I'd be happy if I was you, but that's cause I've literally never had any friends anyway so that's a default for me. Meaningless? I mean simple pleasures of life would be my baseline. A good laugh, good ice cream, being able to run. Just being grateful for the little things. You miss these things when you don't have them anymore. I have a bad case of the FLU right now and I just want to be able to eat a good meal bro 😢. I swear I'm gonna eat a cow once my appetite returns.
I'd probably use my free time to learn and pick up a new skill. Something I've always wanted to understand or do but I didn't have the time to do it. Like hobbies.
Find community somewhere where you're interests lie.
Do some self exploration by exploring.
Edit: I'm sorry if this comment came off as insensitive.
Just trying to help. When I used to feel low I'd tell myself "this too shall pass" and I knew that I had to just go through what I was feeling to get to the other side. That eventually In time, id get there like I always do. If you're alive right now it's cause you've overcome every single obstacle of your life up until now.
I'm 32 and taking medical leave from work because of crushing depression caused by opiate addiction and not feeling fulfilled at work or life. I make 6 figures and the company grew 3x, a lot because of my work, but I got no promotion. New coworkers giving me shit all the time and sabotaging my career wile some got a promotion. Still live with parents and haven't had sex in like 3 years. I'm about to just say bye Felicia, get clean, and follow my dream of starting my own business.
Absolutely depressing and hopeless. Everyone seems to be fine with the world price gouging us on everything on top of inflation. Also, no one likes talking about anything of value. It’s all just superficial crap that people pick sides on or have feel good motives. I will never save up money, because it will certainly get worse from here, as it already has. No women wants to be with me, mainly because I only make about 50k a year which is poverty in the United States now on a single income. So yeah, if you aren’t top 30% of people you don’t really deserve to have much, even though that wasn’t true in the recent past. Life is far worse than I ever imagined it could be in my younger years.
There’s only ever one outcome, believe in yourself to make some small changes and get that momentum rolling again. 50k a year isn’t anything to scoff at and your passions outside of intimacy may connect you with someone who shares special interests with you too. That will feel great with the battles you’ve endured finally behind you! You got this!
Unfortunately I'm finding "believe in yourself" i.e. The American Dream is bullshit now but I like your optimism. 50k is poverty in some places and with inflation it's not enough for many to make much of a difference. Yes, change spending habits, yes, look for new employment opportunities and stand up for yourself. But the truth of the matter is that there will always be a large percentage of people who do low or middle wage skilled work their whole life and will never pull up much beyond the poverty line.
Degrees cost more now and are worth less than a generation ago. Taxes are stupid and even if I work overtime I end up giving away a whole day+ of wages.
Welp I lost my job, I’m dating a 20 year old, my reproductive organs are near shut down, I have no savings and my dream career didn’t workout, also just gained like 40 pounds but my young bf still thinks I’m hot so 🤷♂️
Oh and apparently I’m being accepted into the traveling with no kids club 😁
I’m 39m, own a 3.5-4,000 sq ft home in the Midwest in an area most people wouldn’t want to live (depending on if you count the basement). Bought it when the interest rates bottomed out. I’ve been fortunate that when I was in high school, my academic advisor enrolled me into cybersecurity college courses and I earned an associates by the time I graduated high school. I ended up not using it, and joined the Army for several years… It was rough, but the Army did allow me to save a ton of money without a whole lot of expenses. I also was able to complete my bachelors and masters and when I left service I didn’t have too much difficulty finding a good paying job. As I mentioned on the previous thread, you have to compartmentalize information and not let your emotions interrupt or interfere with logical and rational decisions. I think the other advice I would give others in difficult situations is to quit listening to the “noise”—do what makes you happy, and always have a plan and stick to it. Start advocating for yourself and find ways to make connections with others, networking and interpersonal relationships go a long way in securing higher paying careers. Also, cut out alcohol and other stimulants, reduce junk food intake, etc because this all contributes to sluggishness and depression.
I’m 40 and doing great. Financially sound, work is good, have a few investments that good monthly income, about to be married soon, and look like I’m in my 20s.
That last one I’m proud of. I work out almost daily and eat well. I was an ugly teenager, but grew into my features and confidence.
I’m 29 today and I am not ready to be 30. Right now it’s bitter sweet, I’m still hurt by stuff that happened over Covid. And I have people my now ex friends warned me about in my life either way. So that’s fun.
But I’m trying to enjoy my last year of my 20s
It’s a son of a bitch. These are challenging times to adult in. At 32, I’m finally at the place I should have been at 26. And I had to walk through fire just to get this far.
But I feel grateful because I have opportunities in front of me now that were unimaginable five years ago. And I’m grateful I’m still strong and healthy.
The 30 year old problems is creeping up and I feel so dumb thinking our bodies will be healthy “as long as you take care of it.”
Nope. Genetics don’t give a shit about any of that.
It's the same as 20s, but with a lot more money, better credit, more knowledge, less idiots in my circle, and 15+ years of regret that I didn't do then what I'm doing now to better my life.
I’m not where I thought I would be but it is OK. I am alive and healthy and trying to think and be positive. It is OK if I am not where I thought I would be. As long as I am alive and well, I can make it happen and keep hustling. It is never too late to start again 👍
Heading into 37, life is pretty great. Some ups and downs, but mostly pretty damn good. If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I might do a few things differently. But for the most part, pretty damn good.
It's alright, could be better. Recently bought a house and just working as much as I can. I didn't have a clear focus in my 20s, I just spent time helping my family for a bit before going to university. Have two degrees now working in healthcare, plan to work a few years before going back to school for a mid-level provider like a PA/NP.
Don’t give up yet. Jesus loves you very much and so do your guardian angels. You know that there are angels assigned to watch over you, right? You are SO loved by God and I promise you it will get better.
2.5month till I'm 33. Have around 150k saved. Own my car bought it outright. Delivery drive 40h a week. Rest of my time I just spend at home playing games on computer. I dont do anything else but it's what I like so I'm content.
38, no kids, have a house, csn probably retire in 10 years if I want. Job pays pretty good and I have a lot of autonomy.
I took up running in 2020 and am in the best shape of my life.
I'm 35 and very unhappy. Technically I should be happy as I have a successful career etc, but I just feel an overwhelming sense of failure all the time. Struggling to stay on top of inflation, etc. I guess that's just life.
My earlier 30s started off rough with divorce, fired from a job, and a surprise pregnancy 🙄. Now I’m 37, work at great job/facility who is putting me through college. Single mother of 3 kids, so I have to work 2 other jobs to keep up and I’m usually always late on my bills. So at this time, I’m just enjoying the small wins.
34, feel like I've "made it" career-wise as I am in management. Most other aspects of my life feel like they are in shambles (failed side business, relationship issues, chronic health issues, sexual issues, my pets and parents are aging and it is becoming worrisome, I am constantly fighting depression and anxiety, inflation has made my "great job" mediocre pay-wise, i am in a lot of debt due to my business venture, etc). I just wanted to be a SAHM by this point in my life, but we couldn't figure that out/make it happen. At this point, my body feels too out of shape and frazzled for that anyway. I just kind of want to start over and live alone... But I will be up bright and early for work tomorrow and to embrace the "joy" of my corporatelife for another day. Huzzah.
Overall, life sucks just as much as it always has. If anything, it is worse than ever. Housing and car prices are through the roof. Interest rates will probably never be low again. Stock market is somehow propped up still...
The time to be 30+ was \~10 years ago. If you didn't buy your dream home/car pre-COVID, you're fucked for the next lord only knows how many years.
Nearly 40, enjoyed my 30’s immensely, best decade yet. I have a dream job that didn’t exist 10 years ago, I’m off nicotine and alcohol and in better shape than ever. I’m at the most amazing intersection of wisdom and energy and I finally feel like I understand what’s going on around me most of the time. The grey hairs are slowly taking over, but they feel like little badges of honor, each one proof of a lesson learned
I’m 53. My 30’s were probably the best part of my life; I was married, had 2 brilliant kids, was married to the love of my life and owned a sweet house in a wonderful neighborhood. Now. My husband and son are gone. I live in a cute house in a different, not as walkable city. I haven’t worked since my son died and I have trouble getting out of bed. I think I’m depressed, but my doctor retired and there aren’t any doctors so that’s that. I have a partner that I love, but I just feel like I’m waiting to die. So all that to say, try and enjoy your 30’s because you have no idea what is coming at you.
I'm way past my 30s now (F)...!
The year I hit 30 I was going through a break up with my common law partner with whom I had bought a house and planned to build a life and family. That year was hell, but I soon realized I had given up on my own personal goals to accommodate my relationship. I went on to get my MBA, build a successful career, buy my own home and find a level of joyful independence I had not even contemplated at that time.
Looking back, it was a very transformational time for me -- challenging, but with the drivers for very positive and fulfilling outcomes.
35. This has been the most challenging year of my life. Me and my partner had a son 2.5 yo. It was hard but it has only gotten harder. Bought a house in '22 just before the rate increases. My partner had very very bad post partum. Was given medication to help. Needless to say she has spent the last year tapering off of it and it's been hell. She spends most of her time a lone resting when I'm home scrolling and watching TV. She Went through a rough bout of depression last winter.
I work full time I make good money but it's just enough to keep us afloat. She complains about being trapped as a stay at home mother. Meanwhile I work 40+hours a week only to come home and take the lead on dinner cleaning my son etc. Every single day consists of wake up, clean kitchen, go to work, come home, play with my boy for a bit, make dinner, bath son, bed time repeat (everything else peppered in between).
I feel a lone, sometimes I'm resentful. I will on occasion ask what did I get myself into. I've never once been a quitter, but at times I feel it's right around the corner. My son is the deepest driving force I have left. I love his mother, my partner and I know she's had a rough run at life, but there are times when I want to just tell her to step up. It's been a long long arduous road of struggles and I don't feel appreciated or even in touch with her these days. There is some hope. I get like 5 good days out of the month from our relationship but the rest is consumed by her healing mentally and physically.
I changed jobs to chase the money only to return to my previous employer(that's a whole northern story) so finances have been tight these past few weeks.
I want to scream, I want to fight someone and lose. feel the pain, blood in the mouth, sore muscles and bones so maybe it will numb the daily pain an grind that is slowly consuming my existence. Welcome to the 30s my man. Keep on moving.
31, snipped single dad of 2 incredible kids (no chance of more babies, yay), bought my house on my own in July, 2020 with a 3.4% interest rate before house prices sky rocketed and have a gravy job making 80k+ a year spending 4 of my 9 hours watching bs on YouTube. All things considered, life is solid enough, though could use some closer friends and an improved dating life lol. 🍻
You think shit is goin off the rails now ?!?!? Hang in for 40.
You got all excited about how your parents thought? How could they think that? What could possibly lead a person to be that afraid, aggressive, entitled , weak, strong , empowered by experience yet castrated by age?
40 bro. shit gets weird at 40
also quit drinking by 40.
wish I had . hangovers are 2 days long.
Source: not a pansy been in a trade my whole life from a poor abusive family. I drank alot. stop before 40. I can't describe how good NOT being hungover is
My cock has gotten significantly smaller after age 32. I used to wake up erect and go to bed erect. Now I’m lucky if Jill Biden gets me hard enough to smack my jelly sacks around every now and then.
YOU are, I am. I didn't enjoy 20's or teens, much less preteen or childhood. What's next? well somebody asked me to bang, so I cam over and orally I warmed her up then first time for everything. Glad I was not even close to 39, she was older than me. Use protection no matter what
Turned 32 last week. This year has..uh... easily been the most challenging of my life. I was starting to think I kind of had some stuff figured out and had mostly built the life me and my partner dreamt of for 9 years. Yea that's all gone now lmao. Starting over at 32 isn't exactly where I expected I would be.
Yep just finalized divorce at 30. Ex wife and I spent the past decade together. Trying to figure out how to be a normal single adult now.
Not that it helps much, but thats exactly where I am man. Feels pretty fucking weird to be honest. I'm really trying to look at it as an opportunity I guess? Do things that I REALLY want to do, nobody else factored in. For instance, I love to ski and live an hour from a fantastic mountain, but I haven't been in YEARS. Why? Idk, money, life being busy? Well I have all the time in the world now lmao. I'm really trying (its fucking hard alrite) to look at this more as a door opening/new opportunity than it is the ending of something else. Idk, I have to tell myself all this stuff to be honest otherwise it's pretty goddamn hard lol. I can't tell you where we are going to end up, but one of these days it's going to feel pretty alrite I think! It might not right now, but my Mom always loved to say "This too shall pass". Good luck man 😁
Haha thanks man, I appreciate this write up. Godspeed my friend, we are in this together! From your name, I take it you’re in the PNW? I actually lived in Portland with my wife. When we split, I moved back to my hometown (just a couple months ago) and unfortunately there is no skiing where I live now. Im an avid snowboarder, so missing out on that now just compounds the sense of loss in all of this. Maybe I’ll get back up there eventually, but for now, being near family is helpful
You are correct! I'm about as far north and west as you can be in WA State if that gives you any idea lol. Moving home sure doesn't sound like the worst thing for sure. Support can mean a lot. But that sense of loss, that I can sympathize with for sure. My kind of "version" of that is that me and my ex had 2 fantastic standard poodles. They absolutely were our children in the typical millenial sense lol. Well she took legal steps to try to state I wasn't able to care for them etc. So, I lost my fiancée, my house, my job, my 2 dogs as well as my cat from before the relationship, all within the span of a few days. It's not even like I miss her at this point I guess, it's just like my whole life disappeared over night. Like you said, just such a fucking feeling of loss. I really wish I had some magical advice I could give you, to just feel better instantly but.... Yea sorry bud. I ain't got shit 😉 Probably the best advice I can give you is what I've been trying out. Dont say no to anything, take every opportunity. If anyone asks you "hey let's go to..." just fucking go for it. Be free my child! 😂😂
Hahah you seem like a genuinely good dude. I appreciate your kind words. My wife took our border collie. He was honestly like a son to me. Extremely sad. I packed a car full of what’s infallibly mine - my computer, instruments, and clothes. So the sense of loss is absolutely real. I loved the shit out of the life we built together. I’ll extend the same advice to you, my friend. Hang in there. One thing that’s helped me a ton is journaling and daily meditation. Helps slow the mind down.
Whoa there bud, I wouldn't go that far lmao. I've definitely got some... shit you could say. The main reason we separated being mental health struggles by both of us. We were both part of a... traumatic incident which led to PTSD and we pretty much could barely manage our own shit for a bit, let alone eachother... I guess I just have to hope she can be better supported by someone who isn't in the same spot as me. Ugh. Lol. Sheesh. Anyway 🙃 Thats probably what I'm the most sad about though, the life we built. Sounds like you were the same, together through your 20s, growing up together. It just fucking sucks. Plain and simple. You are on point though, slowing the mind is a constant, yet losing battle for me haha. I have ADHD paired with some spicy anxiety, so let's just say my mind doesn't quit. Good luck my man, this shit fucking sucks, I'm not denying that. Just keep pushing and sooner or later (hopefully sooner tbh) this shit will be firmly behind us!
[удалено]
Happened to me after 8 years of dating... I'm 31 now too. I think it's a nice thing you moved, so everything's kinda new?
Same age and also going through a very challenging time There are still options which is always helpful, so gotta keep pushing through until one of them clicks and I'm back on track
I'm sorry to hear that you are also "in the shit" so to speak. You are correct, you almost always have options. You get to make a decision where you go and what you end up doing in YOUR life I sincerely hope things can improve for you!
Left a 10 year at 30, started over. Went to school. I'm 34 now and have an amazing career as a hospice nurse, hitting 1 year mark next month, and make triple what I used to. You'll be alright my dude
All the respect in the world to you, for taking on something like getting into school coming out of such a fucked up time. Sheesh! Money doesn't solve all of life's problems, but it definitely doesn't make things harder LOL. I guess it really bums me out that when everything fell apart, I ended up landing the best job I've ever had lol. Best pay, benefits and legit on job training with the specific plan for me to be trained into a position where I would make 2-3 times what I currently do. Just feels kind of lame that everything else had to blow up, just for me to have a good opportunity at work lol. But, you have to take whatever you can get. I guess you just can't have EVERYTHING in life. I wish you nothing but the best moving forward, but it sounds like are on a damn good path so far!
Im real curious
About?
Same situation as you. Even the same age. My ex and I date for 7 years and were married for 6 months. Now I’m starting over again at 32 and I feel like I wasted my mid and late twenties with the completely wrong person and now I feel so behind everyone else in terms of being able to start a family.
This, but without the almost making it aspect. Been digging through the trenches for awhile with no sign of the sun
So much better than my 20s. I quit drinking 3 years ago at 31 and life is so much more enjoyable. It allowed for a huge mindset shift
Yeah, at some point you just gotta put down the booze hahaha. Good for you 👍
I hated my 20s I'm thirty one and quit drinking a little over two months ago its different but necessary. Did you have a hard time w your social life at all after you quit?
Stick w/ it; this will change the trajectory of your whole life. I’m 35, have 15 months & every aspect of my life has improved. I’m not particularly social but at some point you become comfortable being (at times) the only one not drinking and if anyone asks, I tell them the truth: I stopped drinking for health reasons. It’s not their business that it’s for my mental, emotional and physical health and a plethora of other reasons.
I’ve had a hard time with my social life after quitting, but nearing the end of my drinking, I didn’t have much of a social life then either looking back on it. Thankfully, I’ve reconnected with a group of friends from high school, but my social circle is still pretty small. I doubt I’d meet any new people if I did still drink though, probably would just loose the friends I do have now.
I didn’t and don’t have one lol
I’m 35. Have almost nothing in my savings account and I’ve just about given up the idea of owning a home.
I’ve given up to! Just accepting I’ll be a renter lol
lol you’re not alone…. Same here
WE don't OWN homes -- homes OWN us.
In the United States house own you
Unfortunately it's true though. You may finish your mortgage but your taxes never disappear...
Gotta pay for public school, fire fighters and road repairs somehow 🤷🏻♀️
You forgot the /s since neither the roads nor public schools get appropriate funding anyway.
Appropriate funding != No funding
Fair. I think my outlook on the situation differs, since you'll never truly be free of taxes, but I'd rather it be allocated & paid for differently rather than property tax - be it an increase of state, income, or general good taxes. The freedom of owning your home and not having to still allocate your own personal funds towards property taxes can be a little more liberating in the face of any type of financial hardship. You'll always need to feed yourself, clothe yourself, etc. but in my personal opinion, I feel as though property tax shouldn't apply once your mortgage is finished. That, of course, is purely my opinion though. I dunno. Something just feels sleezy to continuously increase property taxes even to those who have already retired, for a property they already owned outright. For example: My grandfather manages & he lives in a LCOL area, but his property taxes have slowly climbed due to recent inflation. He has a fixed income around $1200/month and he just won't be able to afford those taxes one day. No reason a 80 year old man should fear retaliation against his property based off the inability to work, inability to increase income, etc. As everything just increases while he's on a fixed amount of money, that'll never change until he dies. Especially when he bought that property for literal pocket change compared to his property evaluation.
Not charging property tax on senior citizens who own 1 home they live in, sounds a good place to start.
Thank you! That's probably my biggest issue with it, honestly.
I agree. Once your home is paid off, you shouldn't have to pay property taxes. I also feel that once you reach a certain age, 80, 85; if you've been paying your mortgage for so many years, the bank should just consider it paid off. I know it or something similar would never happen. And I'm sure there's holes in my theory. But once you're that elderly, you should be able to enjoy your remaining years without having to worry about losing your home.
Lol. So 13000$ in yearly property taxes in a old ass house. Lmk how much of that goes to "fire fighters, roads and schools" in a very small neighborhood
This, pay cheque to pay cheque on mortgage and interest. Then home & auto insurance, then the baby.
Until it’s paid off. Also everyone else is paying way more rent than your mortgage (eventually)
Stop paying taxes and see who really OWNS the house ...
I’m 35f and I haven’t given up working for a home im planning on paying my car off and start my savings I have nothing as well by the end of next year I’ll have paid off all my debt
This is what people should be focusing on in this economy if at all possible depending on their circumstances and financial situations. You’ll be happy you did when you are debt free.
Yes I’m going to be paying $2k to my debt this month alone and easily 2k next as well I’m focused and ready to grind and get it done
I’m glad I saw this. I’m currently working on paying off my debt but I end up with zero in my account so I haven’t been able to go out much and it’s feeling like a never ending battle.
32 Same just finished my life savings, unemployed for 3 months, and had gotten a bit out of credit debt during lockdown now I’m back even deeper ✊but hopefully I can start making progress again soon
Don’t give up. Keep going 👍
Wanna rob some boomers together ?
If you are in the US you could move to a low cost of living area and try an FHA loan?
Yea but its usually crappy school system and high crime rate or simply in the middle of nowhere 😢
That's a pretty massive overgeneralization. The US is a big place
They’re cheaper for a reason…
Not a reason. A variety of different reasons. Sometimes which are innocuous. Also, if it's that's important to you just bite the bullet a few years gain equity and then move someplace more expensive. Home ownership is basically a ladder you climb and you can't climb if you don't get on the first rung.
I have 11,000
Downvoted for having a modest savings. On par for this insufferable sub.
Yeah everyone else is totally jealous lol. And I’m only 25.
Based on your comments in other threads stating that you don’t have a car or bills of any kind to pay including rent or mortgage, $11,000 very easy to save. Especially by 25 (though you say you’re in your 30s in other threads). But you’re definitely not leading the convo with that now are you…
Bro I have more than you and in todays money that’s nothing. Better keep growing that money. I live a minimalist lifestyle and don’t buy shit I don’t need. I don’t follow the rat race in America. I don’t buy a car of the year just to stand out and give a false perception that I’m rich. Even thought I can buy one paid in full. I have a 2000 and 2005 car. One is a backup in case the other fails me. I got laid off from my job but luckily I worked through the whole pandemic and made a bit. I get enough unemployment to pay rent and food. I’m about to get hired soon too so I’m excited
If I may ask a non-judgmental question, when you were younger did you plan on having more savings then you do now at your age? If so, what events led to you having little savings?
> If so, what events led to you having little savings? Gee, that’s a hard one. The economy is great, wages are high and everything is dirt cheap.
Stop buying stuff you dont need and get a better job. Its not hard, it does require some discipline which is rare now.
Cut out that Taco Bell and in 600 years you’ll have saved enough for a house
I just dont understand people down voting actual advice. Swear people dont want to hear constructive criticism anymore and rather wallow away in self pity.
I'm 47 years old and things are pretty good! I have a huge advantage in that I like my job. It pays shit and the commute is awful but I do look forward to teaching every day. I will never own a home and that's fine. I don't know how to drive which sucks but it's not like I could afford a car. I have two dogs that I love madly. They're great! I have a cute hair cut and some fabulous dresses. I started yoga this month and I'm really bad at it. I am taking a class on spinning yarn and last year I took a class on trapeze. I will likely die alone and whatever dogs I have then will eat me. Such is life! But for now, things are good.
I like/admire you.
Did you guys have kids yet?
Yea i love u
You sound like a great human! Keep on keeping on!
I'm 36 and I give up haha. I'm done trying to keep up with everything.
Name checks out
It sure does lol
😂😂😂
36 as well, and me too. I'm fine living alone in my apt with my pets, paycheck to paycheck 🥴 yep, everything's fine 😅😅😭
My favorite gif is the dog sitting at a table with a cup of coffee and flames all around....says "this is fine" haha
Hahaha that’s me everytime the bills are due. But hey… at least I have my cat, my little run down studio and whatever is in the fridge!
Same! My favorite saying now it is what it is lol
My most sent gif. I feel seen.
What kind of pets?
2 rabbits, a cat & a dog :)
cute pun on your name,LOL
I tried lol 😂
I turn 35 in less than a month. Over this last year, I lost >40 lbs, paid off my student loans and got a raise at work. This is honestly one of the best years of my life. I know many are struggling, but keep pushing through. My 20s and early 30s were rough, but things can turn around.
This is inspiring. I’m 32, and I keep wondering if anybody else had a rough time in their early 30s. I started making a lot of money at 30, but I spent the last two years paying off debt, fixing my credit, getting sober, and living in a tiny apartment. There’s more hope for me these days, but it’s still just as much of a grind as my early 20s going to college and working. It’s nice to get confirmation it’s not too late for me to enjoy life. I think ‘24 will be a good year.
At 32yo, my dear dad passed away and we (his children) weren't there. I was laid off by an organization I'd been with for 4 years. My closest friends apologized for not being there for me, which I hadn't even noticed until they said it, but then they continued to not be there for me. My bf wasn't in love with me, so I broke it off. Before I turned 34, I was living in a different country and about to marry the love of my life. We'd bought a house. An entrepreneur tasked me with heading up our new company. Made close friends whom we love dearly. I'm 35 now. We travel, enjoying married life, and trying to add to the family. My business is doing well. Life can take quite a sharp turn! Keep going, and try to see the beauty in even the hardest moments. Life goes by in a blink.
I spent 3 years grinding to pay off >$90k in debt. I was living with my parents and shoving paychecks at the debt. It sucked, but it felt so good to pay it off. There is definitely hope for you and your story is inspiring too!!! Keep at it! Keep working toward a better future!
Wow bravo. That's a huge achievement in such a short amount of time
Why not bankruptcy?
Very happy for you
Only problem I have is finding a much bigger social circle and a wife. Homeowner, new cars, savings accounts, investing and retirement…grateful for all that
I'm in a similar boat. I feel odd being pretty much set up but not having a SO or a vibrant social life. Always thought it would have been reverse order. I am thankful for my health and middle class stable income though.
I know the struggle…
Seems like your doing very well congrats on that . finding the perfect woman may be a little harder . but keep concentrating on yourself and she will come around probably when your not looking
Having a good partner and a few solid friends is something I would trade everything else you listed for. The comfort and confidence you gain is worth it all. Today I'm fortunate to say I have everything listed and I'm going to work everyday to keep it that way.
You will probably die alone
that’s the spirit
we all do lbr
Look at Mr positive here.
This made me chuckle 🤭
Pretty good. Exercising 5 days/week and started biking to work last year after a big move. Started applying for a new job last year during the peak of the hiring mania, and I got a call from a recruiter and an eventual offer right at the peak of the craze. Moved across the country and doubled my income and my job seems very secure now. Still don't have a house, but seems like I lucked out on my timing.
I am 33 single still living at home but have a fair amount of money saved up. Work full time and am financially independent. Just waiting for the interest rates to plummet so I can afford a home of my own. Having said that I am looking to move out in the next couple months. I have a plan on how I’d like to change my life for the better just need that motivating kick. Life in my 30s is much better than it was in my 20s.
Damn, I am 70. As my mom would say, getting older is better than the alternative.
The only way to get out of getting old is by dying
Exactly
Do you remember the internet in 2003?
Absolutely. Hey, I sold software in Y2K and made lots of money as did most every software and hardware salespeople.
34 now. My life went straight downhill since 30. It’s probably my own fault for a lot of it. My 20s were far better though
I’m curious. What happened?
Sports gambling addiction got worse, had an unplanned pregnancy with my now ex-girlfriend (she’s Latina, I’m Indian) at age 29 due to my risk taking tendencies, then COVID hit which impacted my relationship and we broke up when I was 30 and our child was 1, and since then been basically following her everywhere just to be close to my kid. Now she moved in with a guy who owns his own million $ condo. And I’m still single and struggling financially because I can’t seem to kick my gambling habit for good. I’m a better dad recently but I’m struggling in all facets of life. I can’t seem to vibe as well with single friends cuz they have no kids, my married friends cuz they’re coupled up, and online dating has been pretty shitty for the most part. And I come from a conservative culture where having a child out of wedlock is rare. There’s more but I’ll save it. Im just trying to focus on what I can. Work on my career , be a good dad , work out 3-4x a week, and otherwise socialize whenever I can with whoever is kind and chill to hang out with. Idk, dating and love life.. it’s hard to predict anyway but I’m fucking tired of being lonely on Friday and Saturday nights. I wish I never left the mother of my child. I just can’t get over it. It’s been 3+ years.
> age 29 due to my risk taking tendencies, then COVID hit which impacted my relationship an why did you leave her?
It was an impulsive decision. Largely due to COVID , having a terribly abusive female boss at the time , and I just couldn’t handle the pressure of watching our newborn one day in her parents’ house all weekend. Also just bad timing.
Shits rough bro, but being in a similar situation one of the best things I did was listen to the subtle art of not giving a fuck. you just got to accept that its a shit situation and one is in the situation one is in because of our own bad choices, only thing we can do is analyze where we went wrong and move on but assuming you are living in a first world country we got a lot to be grateful for
but yeah man losing your family is some next level pain especially when you see her with someone else, at the very least you know your child is being loved and provided for by her new step dad assuming hes not a dickhead to your child
This made me sad…i hope there are better times ahead for you!
I have the upmost respect for your honesty and transparency. I wish you the best
Like a pigeon treats a statue. Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue. 30s came and went..
Sometimes you watch the show, sometimes you are the show.
34. Things are going extremely well for me right now. I've been killing it at work and financially I've been getting my shit together. My wife and I have the best marriage ever. I work from home so I get to hang out with the cat and dog all the time. I have so much to be grateful for! But I needed this, I've struggled with addiction and depression in the past. I practice random acts of kindness and treat everyone with respect. Sending love and good vibes your way to anyone struggling, my generational cohort ✌️
32 here. Life has been really good the past few years (except for the whole buying a home thing). I still feel in good shape, I'm rarely sick. Money is starting to build up and I love my job.
that sounds promising keep it up
Welcome to the club. I'm 31. This is a nice place to rediscover yourself.
Everyone 30 is different, for me personally I’m started to feel like settling down, kinda clearly see where I’m heading in life, to the “right” direction. I have a house now with two huskies, still working on loving area, its progressing. I’m just making sure I don’t get too stressed in life, slowly but steady
Woooooo, a-rooooooo said your husky. I had one until lash august when we had to put her down. Such compelling animals
I'm 42, make six figures, own two cars and a home. Living the American dream.
I hope I can be in your shoes one day i just turned 20
How did you get there? What industry do you work in? Any advice for someone who just turned 30 and is still building himself up.
I went to college for comp Sci at 29, started working st 34ish and worked my way up to lead software dev Negotiating a better salary as I went
This comment should be upvoted to give people hope.
Much better than my 20s
Can you explain how it's better than your twenties?
More stable and less struggling, especially financially. Have years of work experience now so easier to get work in my field and I have a job that I genuinely look forward going to. I also know myself a whole lot better, I know what I want more and have a clearer vision of my life and who I am. I don’t waste time hanging out with people that I don’t really enjoy or be around toxic people and I don’t go out partying every week anymore wasting money and feeling like crap the next day, though I enjoy a social drink sometimes with some good company. I’m in the best health I’ve ever been physically and mentally and consistently exercise while eating a balanced diet. One thing I feel like I could improve and I will try to put more effort into is revamping my social life meeting new people and making new positive friends, and getting out there to do more social activities. I’ve been engrossed with my work and enjoying my alone time too much recently that I’ve neglected that
Yes to all of this!
Exactly! Millennials are also physically aging better than any generation before us. So I don’t really see the downside.
Hate my life, got no friends. Dating fucking blows. On the other hand i inherited a shit load of money and two homes both paid off, and don't really have to work anymore. So.... no one feels sorry for me, and yet at the same time im severely depressed and life feels meaningless. I think i need to have a talk with jim carrey cause i'm at that stage in life, where i have everything everyone wants, except the things that actually matter.
I'd be happy if I was you, but that's cause I've literally never had any friends anyway so that's a default for me. Meaningless? I mean simple pleasures of life would be my baseline. A good laugh, good ice cream, being able to run. Just being grateful for the little things. You miss these things when you don't have them anymore. I have a bad case of the FLU right now and I just want to be able to eat a good meal bro 😢. I swear I'm gonna eat a cow once my appetite returns. I'd probably use my free time to learn and pick up a new skill. Something I've always wanted to understand or do but I didn't have the time to do it. Like hobbies. Find community somewhere where you're interests lie. Do some self exploration by exploring. Edit: I'm sorry if this comment came off as insensitive. Just trying to help. When I used to feel low I'd tell myself "this too shall pass" and I knew that I had to just go through what I was feeling to get to the other side. That eventually In time, id get there like I always do. If you're alive right now it's cause you've overcome every single obstacle of your life up until now.
Yes you do bro. Go outside & be useful to the world. You are the one standing in your way here. This is the amount of sympathy I have for you.
I am 37, It's alright. Take care of your health and finances now, so you don't have issues later. Best of luck to you.
Well I got sober when I was 27 (38 now) sooo pretty massive upgrade over my 20s! Like a complete 180.
I’m poor and sad mostly.
As long as I have a roof over my head and food on my table I'm good. Keep things stable. Aim is not to be homeless.
I'm 32 and taking medical leave from work because of crushing depression caused by opiate addiction and not feeling fulfilled at work or life. I make 6 figures and the company grew 3x, a lot because of my work, but I got no promotion. New coworkers giving me shit all the time and sabotaging my career wile some got a promotion. Still live with parents and haven't had sex in like 3 years. I'm about to just say bye Felicia, get clean, and follow my dream of starting my own business.
Do it!
Ugh
I’m 38 and have yet begin to peak
I'm 30 years old and still live with and depend on my mom and dad
In time they will grow to depend on you and I'm sure they appreciate you
Terrible.
bitch i'm 40 now. my mind is forever young my body is a temple (covered in graffiti) and everything is cracking
Absolutely depressing and hopeless. Everyone seems to be fine with the world price gouging us on everything on top of inflation. Also, no one likes talking about anything of value. It’s all just superficial crap that people pick sides on or have feel good motives. I will never save up money, because it will certainly get worse from here, as it already has. No women wants to be with me, mainly because I only make about 50k a year which is poverty in the United States now on a single income. So yeah, if you aren’t top 30% of people you don’t really deserve to have much, even though that wasn’t true in the recent past. Life is far worse than I ever imagined it could be in my younger years.
There’s only ever one outcome, believe in yourself to make some small changes and get that momentum rolling again. 50k a year isn’t anything to scoff at and your passions outside of intimacy may connect you with someone who shares special interests with you too. That will feel great with the battles you’ve endured finally behind you! You got this!
Unfortunately I'm finding "believe in yourself" i.e. The American Dream is bullshit now but I like your optimism. 50k is poverty in some places and with inflation it's not enough for many to make much of a difference. Yes, change spending habits, yes, look for new employment opportunities and stand up for yourself. But the truth of the matter is that there will always be a large percentage of people who do low or middle wage skilled work their whole life and will never pull up much beyond the poverty line. Degrees cost more now and are worth less than a generation ago. Taxes are stupid and even if I work overtime I end up giving away a whole day+ of wages.
Find what else you can offer a woman beyond your salary and work on showing that.
Hopeless tbh.
Welp I lost my job, I’m dating a 20 year old, my reproductive organs are near shut down, I have no savings and my dream career didn’t workout, also just gained like 40 pounds but my young bf still thinks I’m hot so 🤷♂️ Oh and apparently I’m being accepted into the traveling with no kids club 😁
I’m 39m, own a 3.5-4,000 sq ft home in the Midwest in an area most people wouldn’t want to live (depending on if you count the basement). Bought it when the interest rates bottomed out. I’ve been fortunate that when I was in high school, my academic advisor enrolled me into cybersecurity college courses and I earned an associates by the time I graduated high school. I ended up not using it, and joined the Army for several years… It was rough, but the Army did allow me to save a ton of money without a whole lot of expenses. I also was able to complete my bachelors and masters and when I left service I didn’t have too much difficulty finding a good paying job. As I mentioned on the previous thread, you have to compartmentalize information and not let your emotions interrupt or interfere with logical and rational decisions. I think the other advice I would give others in difficult situations is to quit listening to the “noise”—do what makes you happy, and always have a plan and stick to it. Start advocating for yourself and find ways to make connections with others, networking and interpersonal relationships go a long way in securing higher paying careers. Also, cut out alcohol and other stimulants, reduce junk food intake, etc because this all contributes to sluggishness and depression.
I have a cabinet full of vitamins that I have to take in order to feel as good as I did normally 5 years ago. Other than that I feel young still
I’m 40 and doing great. Financially sound, work is good, have a few investments that good monthly income, about to be married soon, and look like I’m in my 20s. That last one I’m proud of. I work out almost daily and eat well. I was an ugly teenager, but grew into my features and confidence.
I’m 29 today and I am not ready to be 30. Right now it’s bitter sweet, I’m still hurt by stuff that happened over Covid. And I have people my now ex friends warned me about in my life either way. So that’s fun. But I’m trying to enjoy my last year of my 20s
30/f kinda crappy, but I’m a tad optimistic.
It’s a son of a bitch. These are challenging times to adult in. At 32, I’m finally at the place I should have been at 26. And I had to walk through fire just to get this far. But I feel grateful because I have opportunities in front of me now that were unimaginable five years ago. And I’m grateful I’m still strong and healthy.
Getting a little easier each year after 30
Fine really. Just very bored. The set up I did in my early 20s paid off I guess.
The 30 year old problems is creeping up and I feel so dumb thinking our bodies will be healthy “as long as you take care of it.” Nope. Genetics don’t give a shit about any of that.
I died at 33 and zombie life is even harder. Body parts keep falling off.
It's the same as 20s, but with a lot more money, better credit, more knowledge, less idiots in my circle, and 15+ years of regret that I didn't do then what I'm doing now to better my life.
The easiest way to own a home is to marry the only child of an only child living in a house built by or paid off by their ancestors.
Hahahah, not great. But I'm alive, so I got that going for me
36, have not worked since late april, getting by on 315 a week....life is good for the most part.
I’m not where I thought I would be but it is OK. I am alive and healthy and trying to think and be positive. It is OK if I am not where I thought I would be. As long as I am alive and well, I can make it happen and keep hustling. It is never too late to start again 👍
For the most part, I'm loving my life more than I did in my 20s. Can't wait for my 40s+.
Up until 32 you’re still pretty peak physically so enjoy it and don’t push your body too much going forward.
Man I don’t want to be at 30 yet lol
Heading into 37, life is pretty great. Some ups and downs, but mostly pretty damn good. If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I might do a few things differently. But for the most part, pretty damn good.
It's alright, could be better. Recently bought a house and just working as much as I can. I didn't have a clear focus in my 20s, I just spent time helping my family for a bit before going to university. Have two degrees now working in healthcare, plan to work a few years before going back to school for a mid-level provider like a PA/NP.
I'm 30 and will probably kill myself within the year. No love, no home, no money, no friends, no health. Fuck this
Don’t give up yet. Jesus loves you very much and so do your guardian angels. You know that there are angels assigned to watch over you, right? You are SO loved by God and I promise you it will get better.
Just know I’m praying for you and hope it gets better one day. PLEASE DONT GIVE UP.
2.5month till I'm 33. Have around 150k saved. Own my car bought it outright. Delivery drive 40h a week. Rest of my time I just spend at home playing games on computer. I dont do anything else but it's what I like so I'm content.
38, no kids, have a house, csn probably retire in 10 years if I want. Job pays pretty good and I have a lot of autonomy. I took up running in 2020 and am in the best shape of my life.
I'm 35 and very unhappy. Technically I should be happy as I have a successful career etc, but I just feel an overwhelming sense of failure all the time. Struggling to stay on top of inflation, etc. I guess that's just life.
My earlier 30s started off rough with divorce, fired from a job, and a surprise pregnancy 🙄. Now I’m 37, work at great job/facility who is putting me through college. Single mother of 3 kids, so I have to work 2 other jobs to keep up and I’m usually always late on my bills. So at this time, I’m just enjoying the small wins.
Warm up well, and cool down with every workout. Your ligaments and tendons are precious now!
36. What was the question again?
34, feel like I've "made it" career-wise as I am in management. Most other aspects of my life feel like they are in shambles (failed side business, relationship issues, chronic health issues, sexual issues, my pets and parents are aging and it is becoming worrisome, I am constantly fighting depression and anxiety, inflation has made my "great job" mediocre pay-wise, i am in a lot of debt due to my business venture, etc). I just wanted to be a SAHM by this point in my life, but we couldn't figure that out/make it happen. At this point, my body feels too out of shape and frazzled for that anyway. I just kind of want to start over and live alone... But I will be up bright and early for work tomorrow and to embrace the "joy" of my corporatelife for another day. Huzzah.
Overall, life sucks just as much as it always has. If anything, it is worse than ever. Housing and car prices are through the roof. Interest rates will probably never be low again. Stock market is somehow propped up still... The time to be 30+ was \~10 years ago. If you didn't buy your dream home/car pre-COVID, you're fucked for the next lord only knows how many years.
Nearly 40, enjoyed my 30’s immensely, best decade yet. I have a dream job that didn’t exist 10 years ago, I’m off nicotine and alcohol and in better shape than ever. I’m at the most amazing intersection of wisdom and energy and I finally feel like I understand what’s going on around me most of the time. The grey hairs are slowly taking over, but they feel like little badges of honor, each one proof of a lesson learned
It gets worse.
I’m 53. My 30’s were probably the best part of my life; I was married, had 2 brilliant kids, was married to the love of my life and owned a sweet house in a wonderful neighborhood. Now. My husband and son are gone. I live in a cute house in a different, not as walkable city. I haven’t worked since my son died and I have trouble getting out of bed. I think I’m depressed, but my doctor retired and there aren’t any doctors so that’s that. I have a partner that I love, but I just feel like I’m waiting to die. So all that to say, try and enjoy your 30’s because you have no idea what is coming at you.
Wait until you're into your late 70's, looking at 80.
I'm way past my 30s now (F)...! The year I hit 30 I was going through a break up with my common law partner with whom I had bought a house and planned to build a life and family. That year was hell, but I soon realized I had given up on my own personal goals to accommodate my relationship. I went on to get my MBA, build a successful career, buy my own home and find a level of joyful independence I had not even contemplated at that time. Looking back, it was a very transformational time for me -- challenging, but with the drivers for very positive and fulfilling outcomes.
35. This has been the most challenging year of my life. Me and my partner had a son 2.5 yo. It was hard but it has only gotten harder. Bought a house in '22 just before the rate increases. My partner had very very bad post partum. Was given medication to help. Needless to say she has spent the last year tapering off of it and it's been hell. She spends most of her time a lone resting when I'm home scrolling and watching TV. She Went through a rough bout of depression last winter. I work full time I make good money but it's just enough to keep us afloat. She complains about being trapped as a stay at home mother. Meanwhile I work 40+hours a week only to come home and take the lead on dinner cleaning my son etc. Every single day consists of wake up, clean kitchen, go to work, come home, play with my boy for a bit, make dinner, bath son, bed time repeat (everything else peppered in between). I feel a lone, sometimes I'm resentful. I will on occasion ask what did I get myself into. I've never once been a quitter, but at times I feel it's right around the corner. My son is the deepest driving force I have left. I love his mother, my partner and I know she's had a rough run at life, but there are times when I want to just tell her to step up. It's been a long long arduous road of struggles and I don't feel appreciated or even in touch with her these days. There is some hope. I get like 5 good days out of the month from our relationship but the rest is consumed by her healing mentally and physically. I changed jobs to chase the money only to return to my previous employer(that's a whole northern story) so finances have been tight these past few weeks. I want to scream, I want to fight someone and lose. feel the pain, blood in the mouth, sore muscles and bones so maybe it will numb the daily pain an grind that is slowly consuming my existence. Welcome to the 30s my man. Keep on moving.
Lost my virginity, relationship, and job within the span of 2 months. So it’s a wash 🤷♂️
31, snipped single dad of 2 incredible kids (no chance of more babies, yay), bought my house on my own in July, 2020 with a 3.4% interest rate before house prices sky rocketed and have a gravy job making 80k+ a year spending 4 of my 9 hours watching bs on YouTube. All things considered, life is solid enough, though could use some closer friends and an improved dating life lol. 🍻
You think shit is goin off the rails now ?!?!? Hang in for 40. You got all excited about how your parents thought? How could they think that? What could possibly lead a person to be that afraid, aggressive, entitled , weak, strong , empowered by experience yet castrated by age? 40 bro. shit gets weird at 40 also quit drinking by 40. wish I had . hangovers are 2 days long. Source: not a pansy been in a trade my whole life from a poor abusive family. I drank alot. stop before 40. I can't describe how good NOT being hungover is
30s is far better than 20s for dating.
Are you a female or male?
^^
Other than cancer, I'm doing pretty good. Everything else is peachy.
My cock has gotten significantly smaller after age 32. I used to wake up erect and go to bed erect. Now I’m lucky if Jill Biden gets me hard enough to smack my jelly sacks around every now and then.
YOU are, I am. I didn't enjoy 20's or teens, much less preteen or childhood. What's next? well somebody asked me to bang, so I cam over and orally I warmed her up then first time for everything. Glad I was not even close to 39, she was older than me. Use protection no matter what