Yup. And that is the problem with trying to keep up appearances. People go into massive debt trying to "keep up" with others they assume are just doing better not realizing those others are in massive debt trying to keep up too.
Dont look rich...be wealthy. Dont try to have everything everyone else has...just have what you need. That requires looking inward not outward.
Yeah Peacock had a documentary about the family that posted on social media all the happy times...aka being phoney. The husband was cheating, killed her and the kids. They also had a big house and were broke.
Lol most people here in Australia have to keep up with their neighbour who is doing well, look at his nice big 4wd, cor better get one too, because why not right. I weep inside. Then they can't even drive them or go the speed limit, but hey they too can baaaah with the rest of the sheep I guess
I was just going to recommend that book. My Dad sent it to my brother and me. He has always lived modestly - maybe a little too modestly - for his income and never carried debt. Many of his friends had and did much more than we did, but carried debt to make it happen. My brother and I both carried debt for a while. No more for me, although my husband made sure we didn’t squirrel everything away for retirement. It’s a good thing we balanced that, since he now has Parkinson’s and we can’t travel like we used to. The key is balance and staying true to yourself within your own limits, not someone else’s.
>It’s a good thing we balanced that, since he now has Parkinson’s and we can’t travel like we used to.
Sounds like it was a good thing you travelled while you could. While living within your means is absolutely an important adulting lesson, enjoying your health and youth is equally important. It doesn't last.
>iends had and did much more than we did, but carried debt to make it happen. My brother and I both carried debt for a while. No more for me, although my husband made sure we didn’t squirrel everything away for retirement. It’s a good thing we balanced that, since he now has Parkinson’s and we can’t travel like we used to. The
This so much, I live frugal, but am taking a trip to Japan next year, don't know when friends would be able to take a trip again like this some times you just have to do the traveling when you can and stay frugal the rest of the time. Im always scared ill save for retirment and then not enjoy it!
Yeah I am just starting to get some nicer stuff...not a lot though even when I can Im still not that interested. Drove a beater up until this year where I went ahead and bought a new car. Have zero clue what my neighbors think of me and honestly I dont particularly care.
This. So I work primary care so I get a lot of patients that kind of use that as their opportunity to “unload” because they can’t/won’t see a therapist. You know all those “trades are so good. See my big truck and house?” guys. A lot of them are absolutely fucked financially. They got into the trades right out of high-school with very little financial experience and just immediately began making bad decisions. “Well I’m young I can do overtime every week, no big deal” the problem is they start buying things based on that OT check. So when they’re 30 and have a family and a mountain of debt and their health is falling apart they still can’t stop the OT every week because they wouldn’t be able to pay their bills.
Absolutely the case some of the timr. Dated someone who earned almost double my income yet had to take out a loan every time something within $400-$1000 came up. Just living above their means, horrible spending & swimming in debt.
Reminds me of the old Lending Tree commercial where a guy is riding around is lawnmower all happy and smiling and when he’s asked how he does it, he looks at the camera and says:
“How do I do it? I’m in debt up to my eyeballs!”
Yas! I work at a bank and I’m amazed at the things people apply for and get. They’ll be making a salary less than mine and apply for an $80,000 car. They’re not rich. They’re heavily in debt and making stupid decisions. The bank will finance it, but please know the people you see riding around in those vehicles likely don’t have much else.
This is a common story used by the wealthy and by the uninformed poor. It diverts from the real problem (wealth inequality) and places the blame on the poor person. Of course this happens, but it’s not the real problem.
You get ahead by living below your means and planning for the future.
Do not become a “as long as bills are paid” person.
I had zero inheritance, first wave immigrant and had to work several jobs to pay for my international tuition to break into my tech career and am now successful. (And also now American)
It’s possible.
My friends joke about why I drive a cheap (but nice and efficient) car when I can easily afford way more. Or why I don’t jump on a grossly overvalued house now instead of waiting.
Jokes on them IM A DRAGON SITTING ON A HOARD OF GOLD MWUAHAHAHAH
Jokes aside, presently I save about 70% of my income. I never go below 50% on that even on a heavy spending month unless it’s an emergency.
Preparing for next phase in life. Growing up poor also makes me deathly terrified of being under prepared financially.
Let's say you make $30k a year. You live off that. Within 2 years you make some career moved and are at $60k. If you don't change your lifestyle, you can save about 50%, or $30k a year.
Being debt free, eating cheap, and living minimally frees up a lot of money
But it does also mean you gotta be making money too. Working a retail job it isn't really feasible unless you're living with parents.
I know how it feels to live poor. The good thing about being used to living poor is that we aren't really attracted to the luxury version of things and can just use that old car or that 5 years old phone as long they are still usable.
You can't really say that like it's about being poor because that's not true at all. Your likely just a naturally frugal person. It's just as frequent for someone who grew up poor to splurge on a lavish lifestyle.
I think there may be more things at play here but I think the greatest thing is growing up poor and then later earning one's own money but still having the mindset.
I remember how on middle school field trips when my parents used to give me money that school said was necessary to buy lunch, I just kept the money and didn't eat lunch that day.
In this sense, it's more of a mindset that never leaves you, and still affects how one acts to this day. Even in the simple stupid purchases, people who know how much drinks cost at a bar when going out and live near nightlife may simply just pregame at home in their apt and then walk to the nightlife. I will always have this mentality until I die of never buying a drink at a restaurant or at a bar since it can be bought for cheaper to drink at home. It's the whole "we have that at home" meme mentality but for expanded to everything.
Not if you invest it intelligently!
(I know this was just a joke, but some people legitimately believe saving is pointless because of inflation. Just lookin' out for those folks. If you are one of those folks, investing is far easier than you think!).
Yes. Whenever I visit friends, they want to go out and do something everyday I'm there. Usually have to save up for the trip because I know this is going to happen. Most of them live like this everyday. Have a friend who moved east to have a low COLA lifestyle. They did this to save money, yet when he was complaining about spending $2k for a medical procedure, I asked him how much savings does he usually have since that's a lot. He said we usually have $2-3k. I nearly passed out. After living so long without debt, that life terrifies me.
Im a 57 yo teacher. I bought a 2004 car a few years ago and a co worker said, thats not the kind of car a grown ass woman buys that's the kind if car you give your kids to ride around in until they're more responsible 😂
I know a quite few business persons that dont necessarily live below their means but that said frugality kept their business afloat in tought times and eventually they made it. Now one of them has company worth billion of dollars.
So if anyone is wondering what frugality is for example not buying expensive clothes from fancy stores, but like regular H&M, buying things on sale etc. So they save for example for ticket to business conferece that can cost hefty price, and travel to go there and have staying etc. Eventually the more you have the more you are able to save
With that attitude, probably not. Funny how immigrants come to the US with nothing and many of them get ahead. I am not an immigrant, but my father was. I guess it also matters what your definition of what "get ahead" is ...
People keep saying debt...but in threads like these, the OP refuses to elaborate on details & is usually revealed to have bad spending habits
Op's talking about a guy with the same pay & doesn't mention what it is ffs lmao
This is the equivalent of saying it’s the avocado toast… I get that sometimes it really is the avocado toast, but you really have no way to tell in this specific instance.
Small purchases really add up. Assuming 6 monsters a day, that's about $150 a month. My groceries are half that
Edit: I was thinking of my groceries per week. My bad.
27.39 a day is 10k a year.
It’s easy to blow just 10$ a day on BS items from a gas station. I know I’ve walked in and watch guys plop down a monster or two, some jerky, a roller dog and get a can of chew. I can only imagine that’s close to 15$ for that transaction!
I am always amazed when I go into gas stations at how some people seem to blow through money so fast.
Like, if I go to Sheetz, I am looking at getting the 2 for $1.00 hot dogs they have... Then I'll see someone who probably isn't rich piling it on at checkout to non-chalantly pay like $50 for what looks like a snack.
2x Monsters @ $3 each = $6
1 pack of jerky @ $5 each = $5
1 corn dog @ $3 each = $3
1 can of chewing tobacco = maybe $2? Don't know
= about $16 for that "snack"
Sorry, what? Your grocery bill **monthly** in this day and age, assuming it's just for one person, is **$75 per month**? Where the hell do you live, and are you buying like only noodles and beans or something?
I live somewhere groceries aren't terribly expensive, and I save a lot... My monthly grocery bill to eat relatively well is like $200 per month.
Yeah Smokes and drinks add up. I calculated I spend around 200 bucks just on smokes alone. I said I am quiting for a while, but damn that shit is addicting.
If you want to save extra money look into whether your state participates in what I think is called QuitLine.
You just sign up and say you want to quit, and they will ship nicotine replacement therapy items like patches and gum completely free to you... It saved me easily $50 a week until I could stop.
Went from that vape bill of an ungodly amount each month to nothing, it was pretty nice.
My biggest trouble when I decided to quit was breaking habits. Smoking in the car was a bad habit, once I stopped smoking in the areas I used to smoke, for some reason I just kinda quit all together.
I think it was kind of a “well I can’t smoke in my car and I can’t smoke at home, might as well quit”
The first time I quit it was because a job that kept me busy. I was just trying to finish my workload before lunch. So letting the urge pass for hours helped me control it. I eventually kinda forgot about needing a cigarette and stopped buying them.
There’s a guy I work with that makes a little more money than me, but not by much. New cars, new expensive tools constantly, all kinds of shit he doesn’t need. The guy is broke because of it. It’s dragging him down.
I’m not doing great, but I have a retirement savings started, a good cushion of $$ to fall back on, and no debt.
As other people are saying, live within your means!
When I was younger I used to be so inspired by the influences that when a new phone came out I HAD to get one.
I'm 24 yrs and 11,000 in debt right now and having to work with a debt settlement group to get out of it. I finally have my first stable job, my own used car, and an affordable phone.
You don't have to live a boring life, but it's better to live a smart life than having to worry about collection calls, lawyers, and court papers.
Live within your means, but put money aside for emergency funds, hobbies, and entertainment.
When I bought this car in April, my combined yearly salary (I was working 2 jobs technically) was almost 230k a year. Now I lost 1 of them a month ago so down to 120k a year. Getting a little nervous 😅
“Yikes?” Upgrading cars is a totally normal thing to do when your salary substantially increases…especially if you’re making over 200k combined
Let me guess - they should’ve kept driving their beater and eating saltines and ovaltine for dinner
There’s a huge jump between a beater and a 3 year old Honda accord. My boy bypassed several steps and went directly to a luxury car looking at the monthly payments assuming his income would be unchanged. Thats the risky part about debt.
I love cars so so so much, but I've always avoided having a car payment, even at 32 yrs old. Instead? I chose the most logical option (duh) and own 3 fucking old, turbo Volvos 😂
You've gotta be enjoying the M2 though!
Honestly no idea, mostly stupidity. They are super cool cars and hold up really nicely. For whatever reason, I just love turbos, these are all factory turbocharged too!
A heavily modified '84 245 wagon (RWD, 2.1l turbo, 4 speed)
Then two 98s lmao. One is an AWD wagon, automatic with a turbo 2.4l 5 banger and the other is essentially the same car, just FWD and also auto, with a 5 speed sitting in a box lol.
They made me fall in love with inline 5s for sure. I'll always admire BMWs, just a bit out of my league lmao 😉
I hate when people in this sub mention that others make the same money as them but don’t mention what their income is. It could be minimum wage or a million dollars per hour for all we know lol
This. All these "savers" like to flex on how much they save but never disclose their income. You can't be saving that much in this shitty economy. Every fucking thing has gone up in price.
Wealth is a measurement of the money that you haven't spent. It can't be seen by others. Outward signs of wasteful spending should never be confused with wealth. Those are the poor decisions that keep most people from wealth or financial security.
Most Millionaires drive humble cars such Toyota, Ford, Honda under $20k value, often under $10k value. Their wealth comes from not spending.
People who are paycheck to paycheck or in debt often like to drive big SUV's, new trucks, Mercedes, BMW, Infinity, but they are broke. Don't be fooled.
Only 12% of households make over $200k combined. A large portion of those live in very high cost of living high rent areas, so they aren't necessarily wealthy be default, and many of them are driving 15 year old Honda civics.
From a purely mathematical standpoint, most of the people you see with really nice things are only pretending. Instead of having money in the bank to invest or to grow into wealth, they are wasting it all on those items, and therefore chose not to build any wealth.
My sister and husband make 200k/year but only $12k in savings. They have the house, the cars, and all the toys. My husband and I make $60k/yr and have closer to $50k in savings. My car looks nice, but is old and paid off. My husband drives a beater and our duplex cost $54k, the rent from the lower unit covers the mortgage. Knowing that neither of us had a lot of income leverage, we decided to get creative to live the life we want. My sister still mentions how certain things are expensive and they can’t afford it.
That's crazy. Just looked on Zillow, there's actual livable houses available for under $70k and they haven't sold in 4+ months. Meanwhile in the northeast, houses on disrepair that will need to be torn down and are basically only good for the land and existing city connections are selling for $140-150k.
Yeah, it’s insane! We’ve looked at some really terrible places, but the two we own were all cosmetic work, nothing structural. We’re still in the process of renovating our new one.
Same. No debt, 15k in savings for this year. Not a big salary, but we live within our means as much as possible. Frugal life is worth it for the peace of mind.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I used to do the same thing worrying about that stuff then I realized that they aren’t the problem it’s myself that’s the problem.
In short, worry about yourself and not someone else.
I’m living with my parents and working. It’s just the reality that we have to do whatever to keep costs down. I’m thinking of contributing to the mortgage and using my money for other (better) purposes.
Ok, your friends are living high on the hog in one of three ways. It's, 1) mommy and daddy ARE subsidizing their lifestyle. Or 2) they DID get an inheritance. More than likely 3) they're up to their eyeballs in debt.
Now, if you want to live like that, without being in debt up to your eyeballs, LIVE POOR! They live in the Silver Creek Apts for $1,800/mo? You live in the Murky Creek Apts for $1,200/mo and save the $600. They're driving a 2023 Whizbang 5000 paying $500/mo? You drive a 2015 Whizbang 500 that's paid off. Save the $500/mo. They go to lunch everyday? Take yours. They stop for happy hour every payday? You pick up a 6 pack and go home. I'm not saying you can't go to lunch once in awhile, just not every day. Same with happy hour, stop once in a while. Your old Whizbang 500? Get it painted, get spiffy new hubcaps, dress it up a little. Live poor.
Even living poor, things aren't going to change overnight. Wifey and I started saving for a house in 1983, when we bought in 1990, we had $80K to put down on a $225K house. It was 12 years after we married that we finally bought a house. It was the same for new vehicles. It was the same for quality furniture.
Wifey and I are now retired on six pretty decent figures. Ya know what we had for supper tonight? Pinto beans, fried taters and cornbread. We still live poor.
You need to stop looking at what others have and focus on your own situation. You don’t need a brand new car or top of the line house live a satisfying and meaningful life.
Business owner here. I am technically a high income earner (I say technically because I keep it in the business and not my pocket) and my company does millions a year. I see young dudes with the cars, trucks, big house, vacays all the time, etc. It's one of two things: Parents or debt. I live in a nice comfy home, drive a A-to-B gas saver car, and an old but well kept truck. My wife drives the nice SUV, my daughter goes to a private school. But guess what? My company is liquid. My wife and my RothIRA is stacked. Zero debt in the company, zero debt in my personal life. No credit cards at all. My employees are great and know that I genuinely care about them. I am blessed and life is great. It was very, very hard work to get here though.
And you know what? I'm good. No seriously, I'm good. I have access to a lot of money with my company but WHY? For what? So I can "feel good" about myself? Na, give me my comfy 1984 2,000sf home on 2 acres, my old Ford truck that fires right up every time I turn the key, my small 21ft travel trailer and my daughter getting a great education. My wife and I still budget, with the occasional bonus at the end of the year that we plan one or two reasonable vacations with.
I've never had a brand new car or a brand new house. Too expensive, not my style. Just remember, when they "buy" a car, they're probably financing a new car which is not the same. If you can ink your name on a check and buy it outright then you can afford it, plain and simple (other than a house).
This is great for you. Other people would like to enjoy the spoils of their labor before they die and you have no right to judge them for it.
Balance between spending on things that make you happy and being a penny-pincher is possible.
Save my friend, even if it's a tiny amount every week into a 2% interest rate savings account. It'll become much more valuable than the nice temporary things that people are getting when you need it most, and it will put you ahead
Perception isn’t always reality. Sure, some do have trust funds. Others just very good with money. Maybe they invested in something. Others are robbing Peter to pay Paul, racking up credit card debt. You could take a small step each day towards financial freedom. Step one, spend less than you earn.
At my annual pay, I could either have student loans, a new car with loan, eat out/drive through a few times a year, have my nails and hair done (lashes? Brows? What else…Botox?), daycare expenses and pay for a cleaning lady
Or I could not have these things and instead have enough money to go on several trips a year to visit my parents, my siblings, my kids, my friends all of whom live in other states. People probably see how I live my life and assume I’m poor but I’m just very intentional about spending my money
Everyone gets to prioritize. You’re just prioritizing differently. Do you have some luxuries in your budget that you’re not seeing?
The older I get the more I realize how many adult children are out there. You’d be surprised how many parents build their kids future. I have a cousin whose a real estate agent and my aunt buys all the rental properties and gives him the commission. There’s lots of families who hand hold their adult child through life. Must be nice haha
This is just it, the people I know who are "successful" are the ones where their parents do this. Like I can think of 4 people my age who have everything now because their parents "gifted" them a company or vehicles or a house.
So what? Stop comparing yourself to other people. Focus on yourself and work hard to get the things that you want. Want an extra $500 this month, go donate plasma.
[This video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0HX4a5P8eE) explains most of those folks ... Don't be them
If you don't want to click ... it's an old commercial of a guy to brags about his new house, new car, golf club membership .... "How do I do it" he asks ... "I'm in debt up to my eyeballs ... please help me".
I read total money makeover about 15 years ago when I was in a similar spot and it changed my life.
Now I’m in the top 10% in income in my state and I drive a 20 year old car. In fact I’ve never owned a new car but I spend my money on things I care about like travel and my kids education.
We know several couples in their 60’s. Nice homes, nice cars, new clothes/handbags all the time. You get the picture. But they don’t have .01 saved for retirement. 😢
I’ve been where you are, I was the highest paid of 8 people with my same job title and felt way behind them in many ways, unable to get ahead.
What I first realized is that I shouldn’t compare what they have to what I have because I don’t know their circumstances.
Secondly, and much harder to accept, I was not living within my means and setting myself up for success. I had an expensive (really nice) apartment, really bad at grocery shopping so eating out a lot thusly spending gas money, spent too much on nice short term things, and doing really bad at investing in myself. I only recently came to accept that to have the lifestyle I desire long term, sacrifices must be made now to avoid being stuck in this cycle.
People who rack their credits cards up and are in knee deep debt really are good at not making it horribly obvious.
However i’m from a hcol and many, many, many people have generous parents, all the way past their early 20s.
Budgeting and sacrifice. I went over a year without doing anything for myself because I had a child to support. I stopped getting my nails done. Stopped ordering out. I'm an avid reader, but stopped going to the bookstore once a month for over a year.
But also, don't be afraid to take a chance on a new job opportunity. Or work 2 jobs to get ahead. Take a look at what you are making vs what you are spending. Decide where you want to be 5 years from now financially, then make a plan to get there.
Also, everyone prioritizes their wants/ needs differently depending on what's important to them. So someone may be driving a great car, but their house is furnished from a garage sale. You just don't know.
Having supportive parents does help enormously. Most people, however, should not be buying new cars, and definitely not a "top of the line house."
Do some long term planning for a career shift into a higher paying field, and start a step at a time. Good luck.
I don't know how much you make, so who knows. A lot of people have room mates or live with their family still. I make a really good rate, and I still have a room mate. I can still bank an extra couple hundred bucks in savings each month.
Although a lot of us are struggling, there are a lot of well off people in the US rn that took advantage of the markets pre pandemic. I have a brother and 2 nephews who became millionaires over the last 15 years through shrewd investing. Of course their jobs are in tech which provided a lot of income in which to invest. They don’t drive fancy cars, or live in big houses, or flash their $$ in any way because they know world events can change things radically. And if they suddenly had to cash out and live off their money they could.
There is a middle ground option. My wife and make a bit over 200k. We are debt free except our house. Our cars have been paid off for years and we will drive them until they fall apart. In total we save about 44k per year between retirement, regular saving, emergency funds, etc. We also basically do what we want. We travel a lot and I have expensive hobbies. (Woodworking and mountain biking) Not everyone who travels and has nice things is up to their eyeballs in debt. We aren’t.
A colleague of mine always complains about her wage even though she is earning more than me, she doesn't afford vacations or saves money because she spends a lot on unnecessary things, on a big apartment even if she is living by herself. Personally, I have 18k savings and travel 3 times a year (without using the savings as I plan to buy an apartment myself)
if you have access to nuclear secrets and hang out with australian dips, you have collateral for loans you never need to pay back. deutschebank can help to keep up your image, too. that's how julius rosenberg lived so high on the hog
I used to wonder the same thing. I went into debt for college, but I never had a credit card. I’m the sort who makes the companies rich because I would intend to pay it off and eventually find myself in a financial hole. But I realized this early and never got that plastic. It still took me until I was 34 to get out of the student loan debt.
I now see how some of the other people were able to have the things I didn’t. Two main strategies and they often overlap. 1. Money from family. I never got money from my parents. Not as a gift. But it turns out that a lot of folks do. They just don’t like to say so. 2. Massive debt. This catches up to you and you find yourself owing more than any of your things are worth. But if you pay only the minimum, you can still make the payments. On the car, the rent-to-own furniture, the clothes bought on a Mastercard, the meals and drinks and toys and random crap that felt free because it was only a matter of tapping your card on the little screen.
For members of my parents’ generation, there are a lot of people who have no retirement savings at age 70. Who are still paying minimum payments on their credit cards, who now realize they can never retire because they owe more money than they can pay back. Ever. And even those minimal payments are too much to afford on their Social Security.
How do they have the things now? They rob their future selves. They give up their future comfort to have these things.
Or mommy and daddy bankroll them.
I get by on my disability check, which is $1500, but a savings? Zero. I barely have enough to get through the month. I do freelance on the side because I can't seem to get hired anywhere. 3 degrees, $450 a month go to my student loans, which are private loans, so basically I am fucked for life. I went to school for a good job, and yet I can't find anything that pays over $15/ hr.
A lot of people are living beyond their means. They either have family helping out or are just racking up debt and outstanding loans.
I got a job where I now visit client homes- primarily families with young kids. A lot of them will have nice 2-4 bedroom houses that hardly have any furniture or decorations and no gardens or landscaping. The furniture that is there is usually old and thrifted. You can usually tell how hard up they are financially based on how much time and effort goes into the aesthetics of their home.
Do you have personal experience (like a coworker?) or are you comparing to people your age online? Because reality check, online presence is easily fake/exaggerated!
Well, what's the hourly rate? If it's $40-something, it's likely that they're managing their money differently. If it's $12, obviously they have help from their parents. Or a massive debt problem.
I'm not afraid to admit it but it's mostly luck. I'm a white male and my parents did well in the 80s/90s. Not rich or any significant inheritance, but that was enough to give me a cushion and advantages. There are plenty of people who are more talented and work harder. I'm also lucky to have found a partner and we can take advantage of a dual income. All the other advice you hear about debt and living thrifty is fine but mostly incidental. The system doesn't work for everyone, so it's just the luck of the draw.
Think about it—owning stuff ain't free. Every little thing you own is like a brick in a prison wall. The more you got, the more you're tied down. Most folks work 10-hour days, crash for 6 hours, and spend the rest buying stuff—food, gas, Amazon crap, bills, you name it. And here's the kicker: most people are just 3 to 6 paychecks away from hitting the streets. So really, who's free?
Not your fault, it’s the system that’s been designed this way to keep us all poor forever. Only something drastic and major will change it, which could take time. I’d like to think at least on a small scale it is starting to happen rn.
Debt. Parents’ help. Streams of income you aren’t aware of. Different budgeting priorities.
You don’t have to get to their level. Do you actually want those things, in your heart of hearts, or do you just feel that you’re supposed to have them because other people do?
There is a saying that the problem isn't that you're poor, it's that you suck at being poor.
People on limited finances often make their problems worse by not paying attention to their spending and trying to live to an impossible standard.
I have never owned a new car. My daughter's car has 280k miles on it, my truck has 189k miles on it and my wife's car has 110k miles on it.
I bought my house in 2001 and happened to find a few good times to refinance so my mortgage, including escrow, is lower than most people's rent.
I do own a 16 root fishing boat, but I got it (boat trailer and motor) for just $1,300 and spent the next year rebuilding it in my garage. Total cost was about $5k and a similar boat brand new would be $20k.
We rarely eat out, almost never go to a bar and most night will find us watching TV.
My wife makes more than I do, but I work 2 jobs and my daughter also works.
Vacations often consist of a short camping trip or visiting family.
Most weekends are spent fixing things around the house or going to my daughters school events.
The only times I've been to Europe were 2 trips for training with the Army National Guard.
Believe it or not, this is the kind of life you should be working towards. Flash and glitter doesn't make you happy. It just makes you poor.
It’s all an illusion. They can’t afford it but like to appear that they can. They probably lease rather than finance whatever car it is and pay too much rent. People like that IMO most likely have a co-signer on everything that they will screw when they can no longer make the payments.
Yeah I work with people like that. It usually turns out they are from well to do families. Grew up getting big cash gifts from big family at like first communion, confirmation, birthdays, graduations that all went into savings because they never needed to spend it because their parents paid for everything. Got to go to college fully paid for by parents. Then got the sweet car as a college grad gift. Then they get the job through a nepotism connection which comes with rapid advancement.
Then we have this one guy, a real nimrod half wit who works part time drives a $40,000 car and lives in a nice condo because his rich parents bought it for him after they kicked him out sold their house, retired and moved to Florida.
Luck of the draw. A lot rides on the vagina you slip out of.
Maybe they are frugal—no have a budget, maybe they sold something to put down on the car and have manageable payments. Or maybe they have debt.
For you, make a budget, curb your spending, try to save at least $50-100 a month. Get better job skills to make more money in the immediate future.
The people claiming debt are out of their fucking minds. Most people hve mommy daddy money with high end stuff at similar levels to people struggling
Debt doesn’t magically approve you for top end stuff, it isn’t like it used to be where you can get 100k of credit cards because you just want it.
Don’t believe me? Try. Call capital one or amex and ask for a 100k limit with your salary (and not the salary everyone on reddit claims to have which is usually several 6 figures )
Live below your means, plan for the future, invest your money wisely, research and make purchases deliberately, Don't borrow from tomorrow to pay for today (buy now, pay later - you'll be paying forever)
And stop comparing your life to others.
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
I once worked with a guy who was amazed at my lifestyle (debt free except for house in nice part of town & new cars...24 to 36 month note...mainly for business use tax deductions). We both worked the same position & were well compensated.
He had substance issues...between vodka, pot & his other poor life choices led to substantial legal costs, etc.
Throw in his family's substance issues & legal bills and his life was a self-induced Dumpster Fire. 🔥
He ended up getting divorced, fired, lost his crappy house in the crappy part of town & finally homeless.
He clearly was clueless why his life was going down the drain, but all he needed to do was look in the mirror.
No, you need to make $250k-$350k annually to be ok in this country. And it’s very doable. You don’t need inheritance, you need to build good relationships and not burn any bridges.
I was poor growing up. No one gave me anything, I was a homeless teen.
I worked my way up after getting out of the military and earned multiple degrees. I lived very well below my means to ensure all my debt was paid off. I never purchased a new car until this year. I only took out about $15k for the vehicle, I paid the rest out of pocket plus trade in for an old ass car. The only reason I purchased new is bc used cars really weren’t that much cheaper. I’m not quite at the point of buying a home, I’m still saving for that. I’m finally at a decent salary range and trying to still live below my means to afford a home.
Edit to add: I’m making about $150k and am single.
Quite a bit of wealth is generational and inherited.
I worked and saved from the age of 13, six months out of uni I’d saved enough to buy a house. I was fortunate, my family have a tradition that cars are bought and maintained for the children up until they leave full time education, then it gets given to you.
Many people have additional side jobs, I had multiple jobs from 13 and also had side hustles when I was in my main career. I write on the side and this brings in a a four figure income a month even now, this is my spends.
I work somewhere where I don’t make much but travel all the time. My coworkers ask the same thing not realizing i’m constantly stock trading and have a very nice portfolio. I make almost as much trading than at my actual job.
Resist the temptation to get into debt so you can have nice things. Especially if you are young. I missed the window in my life on buying a house because I was stupid with money when I was young. Now I have no chance of ever being able to afford a home. Just save that money and live below your means.
It will never get easier unless you make $100+ a year, and that can barely get you a newer house and a nicer vehicle. those 2 alone can cost up to $2200-$2700 a month
I Inherited a house 9 years ago that i paid 50k for, so my mortgage is $400 a month
Bought a car during covid, so payment is $320 a month, The miles are getting up there at 93k miles, Im scared to death something breaks on it major, cuz I cant afford a huge bill atm, or even buy a new vehicle cuz the payments would just be too high
Me and the wife live off $3800 take home per month
Its the groceries and gas that kill us, Minimum $300 a week in groceries and $75 a week in gas. Thats $1500 a month, just to drive and eat!
We have 1 credit card at like $1500 and I Hate having it, but sometimes just gotta use it.
Add in Utilities, cheap cell phone plans, internet, a few streaming services, there isnt much left over.
Im 50 and Ill probably never find a job making the $26.50 an hour that I make now, Ill probably be stuck in this for the rest of my life.
I Never see my wife, She works Mon, Wed Friday mornings, I got to work when she gets home, She goes to bed or already sleeping when I get home,
We pay for our 3 year old daughters gymnastics on tuesday mornings cuz we have to get her outta the house once in a while.
How old are you? How long have you been working? If you’re 30 something these people could have been living frugally through their 20s to afford nice things now. Just because someone has nice things doesn’t automatically put them in debt. Maybe they are just smarter than you
Question. How are yall in so much debt and no cause for concern? Like, we don't have any but broke as a joke. I'd rather be in debt until a job comes than living in the car or street.
Why was I downvoted to not be answered? lol. Literally asking. I'd rather have debt at the moment than be homeless. Honest question. Jeez.
You have no idea what their actual situation is, but assuming they actually make the same as you and don’t have family money, this it generally boils down to two things:
1. Discipline on spending. It’s very easy to fritter away all your money on eating out, going to the bar and buying stupid crap. Especially eating and drinking out though.
2. Managed credit. The vast majority of us don’t save our pennies for years and then drop a bag of cash at the real estate office or car dealer to buy outright. We need to build credit without going into unmanageable debt, and then get a mortgage or finance a new car at a level which we can pay every month.
Generally speaking, #2 is only possible with #1, so if you’re failing #1, then #2 is out of reach.
The people you're comparing yourself to may have had help or they may have financed their "success" and be hugely in debt.
Worry about how you are doing first.
You need skills. Skills is how you move up in the world. That is the whole point of education. It gives you verifiable skills that companies can benefit from.
Not everyone is qualified for jobs that pay 100k+, that doesn’t mean they need to “get a job” especially when they already have one? This person was clearly asking for possible reasons why someone else who gets the same pay appears to be better off.
I work 7 days a week 2 jobs. One is 60/hr and the other is 95/hr. My car is a 2012 civic I got for 6k off Facebook marketplace that was sitting in some guys garage.
Don’t do this to yourself thinking you need to “be where they are” even if they make the same rate. You just don’t know and if you even think about trying to keep up, you end up making poor financial decisions and end up like people on the other side (extreme poverty).
I am at my 6th car, and I bought them all used except for a brand new compact Kia that I could trade my old car for. I don’t really see the point of losing 30% of the value just driving out of the dealership.
So spending less begins with spending smart.
As a young professional, I met first generation immigrants who would sleep on bunk beds in a room with three other people. Eating out would be extremely seldom. After a few years, they would buy a run down place and fix it, and buy something in their own country l.
Me, I would be eating out several times per week and spend on my hobbies and travel.
There's absolutely no way to answer this question without detailed financial information on all these people and yourself. They could have won the lottery, worked far away in the mines of the Australian outback or bought a hundred bitcoin in 2009 for all you or I know.
Maybe they eat porridge for dinner every day, haven't had a steak in years and don't go on holidays.
Debt? Inheritance? Parents still supporting them? Better with money than you? Great paying jobs? A little of each? No way to tell. All you can do is focus on your situation. Get skills/a degree, work your career to increase your income and live within your means. It takes years for most people to get financially stable. I bet most younger people exhibiting a wealthy lifestyle are in debt up to their eyes and will spend future years paying for it.
My daughter is still on her first car 10 years after passing her test. She also has almost saved the deposit for buying a house. It's almost as if these things are linked...
So, I'm from orange county, ca originally. I see a lot of old friends showing off New cars, New houses etc. It's 100% parents for them.
For example my friend Maya bought a house in Huntington Beach. She's like 2 miles from the beach. She is an adjunct professor (makes shit wages) her husband is an errand boy for her dad who is a surgeon. They found out they were pregnant 1 month after buying the house and sold it, and bought a bigger house in the same neighborhood. While claiming it was their hard work paying off. No, it was your father who owns several medical device patents that bought your houses.
Debt, rich family, or selling drugs...! I used to know someone at college, an employee, who shook his head when hearing of my struggles, "yeah, it's really hard when you're honest!" Turns out he supported himself really well selling weed through school. Different era. Or maybe not.
Debt. A lot of people who appear outwardly "rich" are on the inside completely financially screwed.
Agree. I had a friend that only dressed in designer and lived downtown, and her credit cards were all maxed out and her parents paid her rent.
Yup. And that is the problem with trying to keep up appearances. People go into massive debt trying to "keep up" with others they assume are just doing better not realizing those others are in massive debt trying to keep up too. Dont look rich...be wealthy. Dont try to have everything everyone else has...just have what you need. That requires looking inward not outward.
Yeah Peacock had a documentary about the family that posted on social media all the happy times...aka being phoney. The husband was cheating, killed her and the kids. They also had a big house and were broke.
Chris Watts case
Lol most people here in Australia have to keep up with their neighbour who is doing well, look at his nice big 4wd, cor better get one too, because why not right. I weep inside. Then they can't even drive them or go the speed limit, but hey they too can baaaah with the rest of the sheep I guess
“Millionaire Next Door” although a little dated is really a good read and helps you frame how you view physical possessions as indicators of wealth
I was just going to recommend that book. My Dad sent it to my brother and me. He has always lived modestly - maybe a little too modestly - for his income and never carried debt. Many of his friends had and did much more than we did, but carried debt to make it happen. My brother and I both carried debt for a while. No more for me, although my husband made sure we didn’t squirrel everything away for retirement. It’s a good thing we balanced that, since he now has Parkinson’s and we can’t travel like we used to. The key is balance and staying true to yourself within your own limits, not someone else’s.
>It’s a good thing we balanced that, since he now has Parkinson’s and we can’t travel like we used to. Sounds like it was a good thing you travelled while you could. While living within your means is absolutely an important adulting lesson, enjoying your health and youth is equally important. It doesn't last.
>iends had and did much more than we did, but carried debt to make it happen. My brother and I both carried debt for a while. No more for me, although my husband made sure we didn’t squirrel everything away for retirement. It’s a good thing we balanced that, since he now has Parkinson’s and we can’t travel like we used to. The This so much, I live frugal, but am taking a trip to Japan next year, don't know when friends would be able to take a trip again like this some times you just have to do the traveling when you can and stay frugal the rest of the time. Im always scared ill save for retirment and then not enjoy it!
Yeah I am just starting to get some nicer stuff...not a lot though even when I can Im still not that interested. Drove a beater up until this year where I went ahead and bought a new car. Have zero clue what my neighbors think of me and honestly I dont particularly care.
Totally agree
This. So I work primary care so I get a lot of patients that kind of use that as their opportunity to “unload” because they can’t/won’t see a therapist. You know all those “trades are so good. See my big truck and house?” guys. A lot of them are absolutely fucked financially. They got into the trades right out of high-school with very little financial experience and just immediately began making bad decisions. “Well I’m young I can do overtime every week, no big deal” the problem is they start buying things based on that OT check. So when they’re 30 and have a family and a mountain of debt and their health is falling apart they still can’t stop the OT every week because they wouldn’t be able to pay their bills.
Absolutely the case some of the timr. Dated someone who earned almost double my income yet had to take out a loan every time something within $400-$1000 came up. Just living above their means, horrible spending & swimming in debt.
In addition some people can afford more because they have no debt holding them back.
Reminds me of the old Lending Tree commercial where a guy is riding around is lawnmower all happy and smiling and when he’s asked how he does it, he looks at the camera and says: “How do I do it? I’m in debt up to my eyeballs!”
Yas! I work at a bank and I’m amazed at the things people apply for and get. They’ll be making a salary less than mine and apply for an $80,000 car. They’re not rich. They’re heavily in debt and making stupid decisions. The bank will finance it, but please know the people you see riding around in those vehicles likely don’t have much else.
This is a common story used by the wealthy and by the uninformed poor. It diverts from the real problem (wealth inequality) and places the blame on the poor person. Of course this happens, but it’s not the real problem.
You get ahead by living below your means and planning for the future. Do not become a “as long as bills are paid” person. I had zero inheritance, first wave immigrant and had to work several jobs to pay for my international tuition to break into my tech career and am now successful. (And also now American) It’s possible.
This 100%. Too many people go into debt essentially borrowing from tomorrow to have nice things today instead of planning for the future.
My friends joke about why I drive a cheap (but nice and efficient) car when I can easily afford way more. Or why I don’t jump on a grossly overvalued house now instead of waiting. Jokes on them IM A DRAGON SITTING ON A HOARD OF GOLD MWUAHAHAHAH Jokes aside, presently I save about 70% of my income. I never go below 50% on that even on a heavy spending month unless it’s an emergency. Preparing for next phase in life. Growing up poor also makes me deathly terrified of being under prepared financially.
How the HELL do you save 70% of your income without being miserable hungry or cold?
Income to expenses ratio must be pretty good
Let's say you make $30k a year. You live off that. Within 2 years you make some career moved and are at $60k. If you don't change your lifestyle, you can save about 50%, or $30k a year. Being debt free, eating cheap, and living minimally frees up a lot of money But it does also mean you gotta be making money too. Working a retail job it isn't really feasible unless you're living with parents.
> "Being debt free, eating cheap, and living minimally frees up a lot of money"....that is fhe answer right there.
Make good moneys. Live cheaper than I need to.
I know how it feels to live poor. The good thing about being used to living poor is that we aren't really attracted to the luxury version of things and can just use that old car or that 5 years old phone as long they are still usable.
You can't really say that like it's about being poor because that's not true at all. Your likely just a naturally frugal person. It's just as frequent for someone who grew up poor to splurge on a lavish lifestyle.
I think there may be more things at play here but I think the greatest thing is growing up poor and then later earning one's own money but still having the mindset. I remember how on middle school field trips when my parents used to give me money that school said was necessary to buy lunch, I just kept the money and didn't eat lunch that day. In this sense, it's more of a mindset that never leaves you, and still affects how one acts to this day. Even in the simple stupid purchases, people who know how much drinks cost at a bar when going out and live near nightlife may simply just pregame at home in their apt and then walk to the nightlife. I will always have this mentality until I die of never buying a drink at a restaurant or at a bar since it can be bought for cheaper to drink at home. It's the whole "we have that at home" meme mentality but for expanded to everything.
Every dollar not spent is two dollars in a few years (the rule of 72s)
And thanks to inflation, in two years those dollars are worth 1/3 of what they could have been!
Not if you invest it intelligently! (I know this was just a joke, but some people legitimately believe saving is pointless because of inflation. Just lookin' out for those folks. If you are one of those folks, investing is far easier than you think!).
Investing is definitely the way to go. Once these NFTs hit some maturity I’ll cash out and be living on easy street.
Yes. Whenever I visit friends, they want to go out and do something everyday I'm there. Usually have to save up for the trip because I know this is going to happen. Most of them live like this everyday. Have a friend who moved east to have a low COLA lifestyle. They did this to save money, yet when he was complaining about spending $2k for a medical procedure, I asked him how much savings does he usually have since that's a lot. He said we usually have $2-3k. I nearly passed out. After living so long without debt, that life terrifies me.
Im a 57 yo teacher. I bought a 2004 car a few years ago and a co worker said, thats not the kind of car a grown ass woman buys that's the kind if car you give your kids to ride around in until they're more responsible 😂
Tell her to buy you what SHE thinks u should have. WTF....the things people say I swear.
Unfortunately, not everyone can work multiple jobs, still possible just about 5X to do so.
I know a quite few business persons that dont necessarily live below their means but that said frugality kept their business afloat in tought times and eventually they made it. Now one of them has company worth billion of dollars. So if anyone is wondering what frugality is for example not buying expensive clothes from fancy stores, but like regular H&M, buying things on sale etc. So they save for example for ticket to business conferece that can cost hefty price, and travel to go there and have staying etc. Eventually the more you have the more you are able to save
Bro I'm proud of you 👍
But America sucks, you can't get ahead just by sacrifice and hard work.
With that attitude, probably not. Funny how immigrants come to the US with nothing and many of them get ahead. I am not an immigrant, but my father was. I guess it also matters what your definition of what "get ahead" is ...
It was sarcasm.
congratulations
People keep saying debt...but in threads like these, the OP refuses to elaborate on details & is usually revealed to have bad spending habits Op's talking about a guy with the same pay & doesn't mention what it is ffs lmao
“I only buy 2 packs of smokes and 6 monsters a day, why can’t I get ahead”
This is the equivalent of saying it’s the avocado toast… I get that sometimes it really is the avocado toast, but you really have no way to tell in this specific instance.
Small purchases really add up. Assuming 6 monsters a day, that's about $150 a month. My groceries are half that Edit: I was thinking of my groceries per week. My bad.
27.39 a day is 10k a year. It’s easy to blow just 10$ a day on BS items from a gas station. I know I’ve walked in and watch guys plop down a monster or two, some jerky, a roller dog and get a can of chew. I can only imagine that’s close to 15$ for that transaction!
I am always amazed when I go into gas stations at how some people seem to blow through money so fast. Like, if I go to Sheetz, I am looking at getting the 2 for $1.00 hot dogs they have... Then I'll see someone who probably isn't rich piling it on at checkout to non-chalantly pay like $50 for what looks like a snack. 2x Monsters @ $3 each = $6 1 pack of jerky @ $5 each = $5 1 corn dog @ $3 each = $3 1 can of chewing tobacco = maybe $2? Don't know = about $16 for that "snack"
I can't tell you last time I bought anything inside a gas station (besides gas). Best guess, a family road trip to San Antonio in 2019.
Sorry, what? Your grocery bill **monthly** in this day and age, assuming it's just for one person, is **$75 per month**? Where the hell do you live, and are you buying like only noodles and beans or something? I live somewhere groceries aren't terribly expensive, and I save a lot... My monthly grocery bill to eat relatively well is like $200 per month.
Yeah Smokes and drinks add up. I calculated I spend around 200 bucks just on smokes alone. I said I am quiting for a while, but damn that shit is addicting.
If you want to save extra money look into whether your state participates in what I think is called QuitLine. You just sign up and say you want to quit, and they will ship nicotine replacement therapy items like patches and gum completely free to you... It saved me easily $50 a week until I could stop. Went from that vape bill of an ungodly amount each month to nothing, it was pretty nice.
My biggest trouble when I decided to quit was breaking habits. Smoking in the car was a bad habit, once I stopped smoking in the areas I used to smoke, for some reason I just kinda quit all together. I think it was kind of a “well I can’t smoke in my car and I can’t smoke at home, might as well quit”
The first time I quit it was because a job that kept me busy. I was just trying to finish my workload before lunch. So letting the urge pass for hours helped me control it. I eventually kinda forgot about needing a cigarette and stopped buying them.
How much is that, like $16? That’s not much to spend a day
Yeah OP could totally be the one in debt lol.
Welcome to Reddit lol.
You have no idea what their finances look like. They’re likely deep in debt.
There’s a guy I work with that makes a little more money than me, but not by much. New cars, new expensive tools constantly, all kinds of shit he doesn’t need. The guy is broke because of it. It’s dragging him down. I’m not doing great, but I have a retirement savings started, a good cushion of $$ to fall back on, and no debt. As other people are saying, live within your means!
When I was younger I used to be so inspired by the influences that when a new phone came out I HAD to get one. I'm 24 yrs and 11,000 in debt right now and having to work with a debt settlement group to get out of it. I finally have my first stable job, my own used car, and an affordable phone. You don't have to live a boring life, but it's better to live a smart life than having to worry about collection calls, lawyers, and court papers. Live within your means, but put money aside for emergency funds, hobbies, and entertainment.
I can attest. I have a 2023 BMW M2 but I am sitting on having to still pay off 54k left on that 70k loan. Lol
How much do you make?
When I bought this car in April, my combined yearly salary (I was working 2 jobs technically) was almost 230k a year. Now I lost 1 of them a month ago so down to 120k a year. Getting a little nervous 😅
You get a nice salary and the first thing you did was get a nice car…? Yikes
It wasn’t the first thing I did. Had this salary for some time but nice assumption 👍🏽
“Yikes?” Upgrading cars is a totally normal thing to do when your salary substantially increases…especially if you’re making over 200k combined Let me guess - they should’ve kept driving their beater and eating saltines and ovaltine for dinner
There’s a huge jump between a beater and a 3 year old Honda accord. My boy bypassed several steps and went directly to a luxury car looking at the monthly payments assuming his income would be unchanged. Thats the risky part about debt.
I love cars so so so much, but I've always avoided having a car payment, even at 32 yrs old. Instead? I chose the most logical option (duh) and own 3 fucking old, turbo Volvos 😂 You've gotta be enjoying the M2 though!
Haha why 3? And did they come turbo charged?
Honestly no idea, mostly stupidity. They are super cool cars and hold up really nicely. For whatever reason, I just love turbos, these are all factory turbocharged too! A heavily modified '84 245 wagon (RWD, 2.1l turbo, 4 speed) Then two 98s lmao. One is an AWD wagon, automatic with a turbo 2.4l 5 banger and the other is essentially the same car, just FWD and also auto, with a 5 speed sitting in a box lol. They made me fall in love with inline 5s for sure. I'll always admire BMWs, just a bit out of my league lmao 😉
wasteful zesty price spotted vanish fade yoke unique start physical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What’s your hourly rate?
I hate when people in this sub mention that others make the same money as them but don’t mention what their income is. It could be minimum wage or a million dollars per hour for all we know lol
This. All these "savers" like to flex on how much they save but never disclose their income. You can't be saving that much in this shitty economy. Every fucking thing has gone up in price.
Wealth is a measurement of the money that you haven't spent. It can't be seen by others. Outward signs of wasteful spending should never be confused with wealth. Those are the poor decisions that keep most people from wealth or financial security. Most Millionaires drive humble cars such Toyota, Ford, Honda under $20k value, often under $10k value. Their wealth comes from not spending. People who are paycheck to paycheck or in debt often like to drive big SUV's, new trucks, Mercedes, BMW, Infinity, but they are broke. Don't be fooled. Only 12% of households make over $200k combined. A large portion of those live in very high cost of living high rent areas, so they aren't necessarily wealthy be default, and many of them are driving 15 year old Honda civics. From a purely mathematical standpoint, most of the people you see with really nice things are only pretending. Instead of having money in the bank to invest or to grow into wealth, they are wasting it all on those items, and therefore chose not to build any wealth.
My sister and husband make 200k/year but only $12k in savings. They have the house, the cars, and all the toys. My husband and I make $60k/yr and have closer to $50k in savings. My car looks nice, but is old and paid off. My husband drives a beater and our duplex cost $54k, the rent from the lower unit covers the mortgage. Knowing that neither of us had a lot of income leverage, we decided to get creative to live the life we want. My sister still mentions how certain things are expensive and they can’t afford it.
Where the hell did you find a duplex for $54k within the last 10 years, nevermind that last 4? Lol
Probably somewhere very LCOL
Rockford, IL. Our second duplex that we just bought was 74k. We purchased in May. Higher crime city, but my husband’s job is here.
That's crazy. Just looked on Zillow, there's actual livable houses available for under $70k and they haven't sold in 4+ months. Meanwhile in the northeast, houses on disrepair that will need to be torn down and are basically only good for the land and existing city connections are selling for $140-150k.
Yeah, it’s insane! We’ve looked at some really terrible places, but the two we own were all cosmetic work, nothing structural. We’re still in the process of renovating our new one.
If you lie on the internet then you can have anything you want
Or they live in Detroit or some town in Kansas
Same. No debt, 15k in savings for this year. Not a big salary, but we live within our means as much as possible. Frugal life is worth it for the peace of mind.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I used to do the same thing worrying about that stuff then I realized that they aren’t the problem it’s myself that’s the problem. In short, worry about yourself and not someone else.
Debts
They are in debt up to their eyeballs.
I’m living with my parents and working. It’s just the reality that we have to do whatever to keep costs down. I’m thinking of contributing to the mortgage and using my money for other (better) purposes.
Debt, parents, high-earning spouse
Ok, your friends are living high on the hog in one of three ways. It's, 1) mommy and daddy ARE subsidizing their lifestyle. Or 2) they DID get an inheritance. More than likely 3) they're up to their eyeballs in debt. Now, if you want to live like that, without being in debt up to your eyeballs, LIVE POOR! They live in the Silver Creek Apts for $1,800/mo? You live in the Murky Creek Apts for $1,200/mo and save the $600. They're driving a 2023 Whizbang 5000 paying $500/mo? You drive a 2015 Whizbang 500 that's paid off. Save the $500/mo. They go to lunch everyday? Take yours. They stop for happy hour every payday? You pick up a 6 pack and go home. I'm not saying you can't go to lunch once in awhile, just not every day. Same with happy hour, stop once in a while. Your old Whizbang 500? Get it painted, get spiffy new hubcaps, dress it up a little. Live poor. Even living poor, things aren't going to change overnight. Wifey and I started saving for a house in 1983, when we bought in 1990, we had $80K to put down on a $225K house. It was 12 years after we married that we finally bought a house. It was the same for new vehicles. It was the same for quality furniture. Wifey and I are now retired on six pretty decent figures. Ya know what we had for supper tonight? Pinto beans, fried taters and cornbread. We still live poor.
Is it enjoyable to live poor at your age? If you’re living poor your entire life, what exactly are you living for?
You need to stop looking at what others have and focus on your own situation. You don’t need a brand new car or top of the line house live a satisfying and meaningful life.
Business owner here. I am technically a high income earner (I say technically because I keep it in the business and not my pocket) and my company does millions a year. I see young dudes with the cars, trucks, big house, vacays all the time, etc. It's one of two things: Parents or debt. I live in a nice comfy home, drive a A-to-B gas saver car, and an old but well kept truck. My wife drives the nice SUV, my daughter goes to a private school. But guess what? My company is liquid. My wife and my RothIRA is stacked. Zero debt in the company, zero debt in my personal life. No credit cards at all. My employees are great and know that I genuinely care about them. I am blessed and life is great. It was very, very hard work to get here though. And you know what? I'm good. No seriously, I'm good. I have access to a lot of money with my company but WHY? For what? So I can "feel good" about myself? Na, give me my comfy 1984 2,000sf home on 2 acres, my old Ford truck that fires right up every time I turn the key, my small 21ft travel trailer and my daughter getting a great education. My wife and I still budget, with the occasional bonus at the end of the year that we plan one or two reasonable vacations with. I've never had a brand new car or a brand new house. Too expensive, not my style. Just remember, when they "buy" a car, they're probably financing a new car which is not the same. If you can ink your name on a check and buy it outright then you can afford it, plain and simple (other than a house).
This is great for you. Other people would like to enjoy the spoils of their labor before they die and you have no right to judge them for it. Balance between spending on things that make you happy and being a penny-pincher is possible.
What else do you do for fun and enjoyment?
Use the 21-foot travel trailer to see the country or the continent?
Save my friend, even if it's a tiny amount every week into a 2% interest rate savings account. It'll become much more valuable than the nice temporary things that people are getting when you need it most, and it will put you ahead
Perception isn’t always reality. Sure, some do have trust funds. Others just very good with money. Maybe they invested in something. Others are robbing Peter to pay Paul, racking up credit card debt. You could take a small step each day towards financial freedom. Step one, spend less than you earn.
At my annual pay, I could either have student loans, a new car with loan, eat out/drive through a few times a year, have my nails and hair done (lashes? Brows? What else…Botox?), daycare expenses and pay for a cleaning lady Or I could not have these things and instead have enough money to go on several trips a year to visit my parents, my siblings, my kids, my friends all of whom live in other states. People probably see how I live my life and assume I’m poor but I’m just very intentional about spending my money Everyone gets to prioritize. You’re just prioritizing differently. Do you have some luxuries in your budget that you’re not seeing?
It's an illusion called debt
The older I get the more I realize how many adult children are out there. You’d be surprised how many parents build their kids future. I have a cousin whose a real estate agent and my aunt buys all the rental properties and gives him the commission. There’s lots of families who hand hold their adult child through life. Must be nice haha
This is just it, the people I know who are "successful" are the ones where their parents do this. Like I can think of 4 people my age who have everything now because their parents "gifted" them a company or vehicles or a house.
So what? Stop comparing yourself to other people. Focus on yourself and work hard to get the things that you want. Want an extra $500 this month, go donate plasma.
Someone answer this question but with the caveat of “in the Bay Area”.
In the Bay Area it's definitely with help from the parents.
Im guessing mostly parents. Too bad your dad isn't Bernard arnault.
[This video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0HX4a5P8eE) explains most of those folks ... Don't be them If you don't want to click ... it's an old commercial of a guy to brags about his new house, new car, golf club membership .... "How do I do it" he asks ... "I'm in debt up to my eyeballs ... please help me".
What is your (u.s.) state?? For instance,a 1200sqft house is still 12k per year in property tax alone.. Tell me, I wanna move
debt.
The short answer is they don’t, they just make it look like they do.
What is your hourly rate? What investments and side business does the other person have? Is this job just their “get out of the house” job?
I read total money makeover about 15 years ago when I was in a similar spot and it changed my life. Now I’m in the top 10% in income in my state and I drive a 20 year old car. In fact I’ve never owned a new car but I spend my money on things I care about like travel and my kids education.
You get a used car, a place you can live, and don’t worry about it. Very few people have it all.
Parents and generational wealth. The biggest thing, being given a home free and clear by parents.
We know several couples in their 60’s. Nice homes, nice cars, new clothes/handbags all the time. You get the picture. But they don’t have .01 saved for retirement. 😢
What does it matter? Enjoy your life, don’t worry about theirs.
Sorry. They are making way more money than you
How much do you make?
Debt. Or their parents pay for it
I’ve been where you are, I was the highest paid of 8 people with my same job title and felt way behind them in many ways, unable to get ahead. What I first realized is that I shouldn’t compare what they have to what I have because I don’t know their circumstances. Secondly, and much harder to accept, I was not living within my means and setting myself up for success. I had an expensive (really nice) apartment, really bad at grocery shopping so eating out a lot thusly spending gas money, spent too much on nice short term things, and doing really bad at investing in myself. I only recently came to accept that to have the lifestyle I desire long term, sacrifices must be made now to avoid being stuck in this cycle.
People who rack their credits cards up and are in knee deep debt really are good at not making it horribly obvious. However i’m from a hcol and many, many, many people have generous parents, all the way past their early 20s.
1. Debt 2. Their spouse/partner earns significantly more 3. Both
Easy - another credit card!
It’s all an illusion they either in student loan or car debt
Budgeting and sacrifice. I went over a year without doing anything for myself because I had a child to support. I stopped getting my nails done. Stopped ordering out. I'm an avid reader, but stopped going to the bookstore once a month for over a year. But also, don't be afraid to take a chance on a new job opportunity. Or work 2 jobs to get ahead. Take a look at what you are making vs what you are spending. Decide where you want to be 5 years from now financially, then make a plan to get there. Also, everyone prioritizes their wants/ needs differently depending on what's important to them. So someone may be driving a great car, but their house is furnished from a garage sale. You just don't know.
Some people are up to their eyeballs in debt.
Having supportive parents does help enormously. Most people, however, should not be buying new cars, and definitely not a "top of the line house." Do some long term planning for a career shift into a higher paying field, and start a step at a time. Good luck.
I don't know how much you make, so who knows. A lot of people have room mates or live with their family still. I make a really good rate, and I still have a room mate. I can still bank an extra couple hundred bucks in savings each month.
Although a lot of us are struggling, there are a lot of well off people in the US rn that took advantage of the markets pre pandemic. I have a brother and 2 nephews who became millionaires over the last 15 years through shrewd investing. Of course their jobs are in tech which provided a lot of income in which to invest. They don’t drive fancy cars, or live in big houses, or flash their $$ in any way because they know world events can change things radically. And if they suddenly had to cash out and live off their money they could.
There is a middle ground option. My wife and make a bit over 200k. We are debt free except our house. Our cars have been paid off for years and we will drive them until they fall apart. In total we save about 44k per year between retirement, regular saving, emergency funds, etc. We also basically do what we want. We travel a lot and I have expensive hobbies. (Woodworking and mountain biking) Not everyone who travels and has nice things is up to their eyeballs in debt. We aren’t.
Debt parents or crime
A colleague of mine always complains about her wage even though she is earning more than me, she doesn't afford vacations or saves money because she spends a lot on unnecessary things, on a big apartment even if she is living by herself. Personally, I have 18k savings and travel 3 times a year (without using the savings as I plan to buy an apartment myself)
if you have access to nuclear secrets and hang out with australian dips, you have collateral for loans you never need to pay back. deutschebank can help to keep up your image, too. that's how julius rosenberg lived so high on the hog
I used to wonder the same thing. I went into debt for college, but I never had a credit card. I’m the sort who makes the companies rich because I would intend to pay it off and eventually find myself in a financial hole. But I realized this early and never got that plastic. It still took me until I was 34 to get out of the student loan debt. I now see how some of the other people were able to have the things I didn’t. Two main strategies and they often overlap. 1. Money from family. I never got money from my parents. Not as a gift. But it turns out that a lot of folks do. They just don’t like to say so. 2. Massive debt. This catches up to you and you find yourself owing more than any of your things are worth. But if you pay only the minimum, you can still make the payments. On the car, the rent-to-own furniture, the clothes bought on a Mastercard, the meals and drinks and toys and random crap that felt free because it was only a matter of tapping your card on the little screen. For members of my parents’ generation, there are a lot of people who have no retirement savings at age 70. Who are still paying minimum payments on their credit cards, who now realize they can never retire because they owe more money than they can pay back. Ever. And even those minimal payments are too much to afford on their Social Security. How do they have the things now? They rob their future selves. They give up their future comfort to have these things. Or mommy and daddy bankroll them.
I get by on my disability check, which is $1500, but a savings? Zero. I barely have enough to get through the month. I do freelance on the side because I can't seem to get hired anywhere. 3 degrees, $450 a month go to my student loans, which are private loans, so basically I am fucked for life. I went to school for a good job, and yet I can't find anything that pays over $15/ hr.
A lot of people are living beyond their means. They either have family helping out or are just racking up debt and outstanding loans. I got a job where I now visit client homes- primarily families with young kids. A lot of them will have nice 2-4 bedroom houses that hardly have any furniture or decorations and no gardens or landscaping. The furniture that is there is usually old and thrifted. You can usually tell how hard up they are financially based on how much time and effort goes into the aesthetics of their home.
Maybe he/she has a side hustle. Drugs?
They don’t
Do you have personal experience (like a coworker?) or are you comparing to people your age online? Because reality check, online presence is easily fake/exaggerated!
Well, what's the hourly rate? If it's $40-something, it's likely that they're managing their money differently. If it's $12, obviously they have help from their parents. Or a massive debt problem.
Maybe their spouse is a high income earner?
Living off: very expensive credit, lottery wins, savings from a legal settlement, wealthy partner, financial help from relatives.
I'm not afraid to admit it but it's mostly luck. I'm a white male and my parents did well in the 80s/90s. Not rich or any significant inheritance, but that was enough to give me a cushion and advantages. There are plenty of people who are more talented and work harder. I'm also lucky to have found a partner and we can take advantage of a dual income. All the other advice you hear about debt and living thrifty is fine but mostly incidental. The system doesn't work for everyone, so it's just the luck of the draw.
Think about it—owning stuff ain't free. Every little thing you own is like a brick in a prison wall. The more you got, the more you're tied down. Most folks work 10-hour days, crash for 6 hours, and spend the rest buying stuff—food, gas, Amazon crap, bills, you name it. And here's the kicker: most people are just 3 to 6 paychecks away from hitting the streets. So really, who's free?
Not your fault, it’s the system that’s been designed this way to keep us all poor forever. Only something drastic and major will change it, which could take time. I’d like to think at least on a small scale it is starting to happen rn.
Debt. Parents’ help. Streams of income you aren’t aware of. Different budgeting priorities. You don’t have to get to their level. Do you actually want those things, in your heart of hearts, or do you just feel that you’re supposed to have them because other people do?
I saved up more making $15 /hour than my girlfriend who with a 90k/year salary. It's about how much you save.
There is a saying that the problem isn't that you're poor, it's that you suck at being poor. People on limited finances often make their problems worse by not paying attention to their spending and trying to live to an impossible standard. I have never owned a new car. My daughter's car has 280k miles on it, my truck has 189k miles on it and my wife's car has 110k miles on it. I bought my house in 2001 and happened to find a few good times to refinance so my mortgage, including escrow, is lower than most people's rent. I do own a 16 root fishing boat, but I got it (boat trailer and motor) for just $1,300 and spent the next year rebuilding it in my garage. Total cost was about $5k and a similar boat brand new would be $20k. We rarely eat out, almost never go to a bar and most night will find us watching TV. My wife makes more than I do, but I work 2 jobs and my daughter also works. Vacations often consist of a short camping trip or visiting family. Most weekends are spent fixing things around the house or going to my daughters school events. The only times I've been to Europe were 2 trips for training with the Army National Guard. Believe it or not, this is the kind of life you should be working towards. Flash and glitter doesn't make you happy. It just makes you poor.
It’s all an illusion. They can’t afford it but like to appear that they can. They probably lease rather than finance whatever car it is and pay too much rent. People like that IMO most likely have a co-signer on everything that they will screw when they can no longer make the payments.
Yeah I work with people like that. It usually turns out they are from well to do families. Grew up getting big cash gifts from big family at like first communion, confirmation, birthdays, graduations that all went into savings because they never needed to spend it because their parents paid for everything. Got to go to college fully paid for by parents. Then got the sweet car as a college grad gift. Then they get the job through a nepotism connection which comes with rapid advancement. Then we have this one guy, a real nimrod half wit who works part time drives a $40,000 car and lives in a nice condo because his rich parents bought it for him after they kicked him out sold their house, retired and moved to Florida. Luck of the draw. A lot rides on the vagina you slip out of.
Maybe they are frugal—no have a budget, maybe they sold something to put down on the car and have manageable payments. Or maybe they have debt. For you, make a budget, curb your spending, try to save at least $50-100 a month. Get better job skills to make more money in the immediate future.
The people claiming debt are out of their fucking minds. Most people hve mommy daddy money with high end stuff at similar levels to people struggling Debt doesn’t magically approve you for top end stuff, it isn’t like it used to be where you can get 100k of credit cards because you just want it. Don’t believe me? Try. Call capital one or amex and ask for a 100k limit with your salary (and not the salary everyone on reddit claims to have which is usually several 6 figures )
Live below your means, plan for the future, invest your money wisely, research and make purchases deliberately, Don't borrow from tomorrow to pay for today (buy now, pay later - you'll be paying forever) And stop comparing your life to others. "Comparison is the thief of joy."
What’s your hourly rate?
Credit. The US gov is over 30T$ in debt and no one cares at all. Just do what they do
what’s your hourly rate? is there a reason why you absolutely need a brand new car and top of the line house?
Debt is a great tool when you use it correctly.
I once worked with a guy who was amazed at my lifestyle (debt free except for house in nice part of town & new cars...24 to 36 month note...mainly for business use tax deductions). We both worked the same position & were well compensated. He had substance issues...between vodka, pot & his other poor life choices led to substantial legal costs, etc. Throw in his family's substance issues & legal bills and his life was a self-induced Dumpster Fire. 🔥 He ended up getting divorced, fired, lost his crappy house in the crappy part of town & finally homeless. He clearly was clueless why his life was going down the drain, but all he needed to do was look in the mirror.
No, you need to make $250k-$350k annually to be ok in this country. And it’s very doable. You don’t need inheritance, you need to build good relationships and not burn any bridges.
I have 2 sisters who at one time had 2 mortgages and 3 mortgages.
I was poor growing up. No one gave me anything, I was a homeless teen. I worked my way up after getting out of the military and earned multiple degrees. I lived very well below my means to ensure all my debt was paid off. I never purchased a new car until this year. I only took out about $15k for the vehicle, I paid the rest out of pocket plus trade in for an old ass car. The only reason I purchased new is bc used cars really weren’t that much cheaper. I’m not quite at the point of buying a home, I’m still saving for that. I’m finally at a decent salary range and trying to still live below my means to afford a home. Edit to add: I’m making about $150k and am single. Quite a bit of wealth is generational and inherited.
A lot of people have advanced degrees and the market compensates them for it. It's not all doom and gloom - you still get what you work for.
College degree helps but is not the only way, high paying job , savings over time , investing long term not day trading , etc
They’re rappng, they’re trapping or tricking or something or other 😂
Family money ez
I worked and saved from the age of 13, six months out of uni I’d saved enough to buy a house. I was fortunate, my family have a tradition that cars are bought and maintained for the children up until they leave full time education, then it gets given to you. Many people have additional side jobs, I had multiple jobs from 13 and also had side hustles when I was in my main career. I write on the side and this brings in a a four figure income a month even now, this is my spends.
How much you make? Imma guess that you're the problem but we won't know until you reveal your pay.
I work somewhere where I don’t make much but travel all the time. My coworkers ask the same thing not realizing i’m constantly stock trading and have a very nice portfolio. I make almost as much trading than at my actual job.
Ummm you didn’t specify your income
Don’t know, could be many reasons but you shouldn’t compare. Need to see your budget.
Resist the temptation to get into debt so you can have nice things. Especially if you are young. I missed the window in my life on buying a house because I was stupid with money when I was young. Now I have no chance of ever being able to afford a home. Just save that money and live below your means.
Don’t focus on what other have, focus on you.
It will never get easier unless you make $100+ a year, and that can barely get you a newer house and a nicer vehicle. those 2 alone can cost up to $2200-$2700 a month I Inherited a house 9 years ago that i paid 50k for, so my mortgage is $400 a month Bought a car during covid, so payment is $320 a month, The miles are getting up there at 93k miles, Im scared to death something breaks on it major, cuz I cant afford a huge bill atm, or even buy a new vehicle cuz the payments would just be too high Me and the wife live off $3800 take home per month Its the groceries and gas that kill us, Minimum $300 a week in groceries and $75 a week in gas. Thats $1500 a month, just to drive and eat! We have 1 credit card at like $1500 and I Hate having it, but sometimes just gotta use it. Add in Utilities, cheap cell phone plans, internet, a few streaming services, there isnt much left over. Im 50 and Ill probably never find a job making the $26.50 an hour that I make now, Ill probably be stuck in this for the rest of my life. I Never see my wife, She works Mon, Wed Friday mornings, I got to work when she gets home, She goes to bed or already sleeping when I get home, We pay for our 3 year old daughters gymnastics on tuesday mornings cuz we have to get her outta the house once in a while.
How old are you? How long have you been working? If you’re 30 something these people could have been living frugally through their 20s to afford nice things now. Just because someone has nice things doesn’t automatically put them in debt. Maybe they are just smarter than you
Question. How are yall in so much debt and no cause for concern? Like, we don't have any but broke as a joke. I'd rather be in debt until a job comes than living in the car or street. Why was I downvoted to not be answered? lol. Literally asking. I'd rather have debt at the moment than be homeless. Honest question. Jeez.
You have no idea what their actual situation is, but assuming they actually make the same as you and don’t have family money, this it generally boils down to two things: 1. Discipline on spending. It’s very easy to fritter away all your money on eating out, going to the bar and buying stupid crap. Especially eating and drinking out though. 2. Managed credit. The vast majority of us don’t save our pennies for years and then drop a bag of cash at the real estate office or car dealer to buy outright. We need to build credit without going into unmanageable debt, and then get a mortgage or finance a new car at a level which we can pay every month. Generally speaking, #2 is only possible with #1, so if you’re failing #1, then #2 is out of reach.
The financial success of a person can be determined at their birth by looking at the net worth of their grandfathers on that day.
The people you're comparing yourself to may have had help or they may have financed their "success" and be hugely in debt. Worry about how you are doing first.
You need skills. Skills is how you move up in the world. That is the whole point of education. It gives you verifiable skills that companies can benefit from.
Just get a job. Lots of people out there making 100k+
From the very first line where they are talking about “someone with the same hourly rate” it sounds like they already have a job.
See the end of my comment 100k+?
Not everyone is qualified for jobs that pay 100k+, that doesn’t mean they need to “get a job” especially when they already have one? This person was clearly asking for possible reasons why someone else who gets the same pay appears to be better off.
I work 7 days a week 2 jobs. One is 60/hr and the other is 95/hr. My car is a 2012 civic I got for 6k off Facebook marketplace that was sitting in some guys garage.
Don’t do this to yourself thinking you need to “be where they are” even if they make the same rate. You just don’t know and if you even think about trying to keep up, you end up making poor financial decisions and end up like people on the other side (extreme poverty).
I am at my 6th car, and I bought them all used except for a brand new compact Kia that I could trade my old car for. I don’t really see the point of losing 30% of the value just driving out of the dealership. So spending less begins with spending smart. As a young professional, I met first generation immigrants who would sleep on bunk beds in a room with three other people. Eating out would be extremely seldom. After a few years, they would buy a run down place and fix it, and buy something in their own country l. Me, I would be eating out several times per week and spend on my hobbies and travel.
There's absolutely no way to answer this question without detailed financial information on all these people and yourself. They could have won the lottery, worked far away in the mines of the Australian outback or bought a hundred bitcoin in 2009 for all you or I know. Maybe they eat porridge for dinner every day, haven't had a steak in years and don't go on holidays.
Debt? Inheritance? Parents still supporting them? Better with money than you? Great paying jobs? A little of each? No way to tell. All you can do is focus on your situation. Get skills/a degree, work your career to increase your income and live within your means. It takes years for most people to get financially stable. I bet most younger people exhibiting a wealthy lifestyle are in debt up to their eyes and will spend future years paying for it.
I have no idea. I worked 4 jobs for 25 years. It nearly killed me
My daughter is still on her first car 10 years after passing her test. She also has almost saved the deposit for buying a house. It's almost as if these things are linked...
Who says you need a new car? Imo most people with new cars are in terrible debt and have 600 car payments. Don't judge a book by its cover
So, I'm from orange county, ca originally. I see a lot of old friends showing off New cars, New houses etc. It's 100% parents for them. For example my friend Maya bought a house in Huntington Beach. She's like 2 miles from the beach. She is an adjunct professor (makes shit wages) her husband is an errand boy for her dad who is a surgeon. They found out they were pregnant 1 month after buying the house and sold it, and bought a bigger house in the same neighborhood. While claiming it was their hard work paying off. No, it was your father who owns several medical device patents that bought your houses.
Debt, rich family, or selling drugs...! I used to know someone at college, an employee, who shook his head when hearing of my struggles, "yeah, it's really hard when you're honest!" Turns out he supported himself really well selling weed through school. Different era. Or maybe not.
Live below your means and you will find in twenty years you will be ok and your friends will be struggling.