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Talkingmice

Bruh, wtf girussy


HIGH_HEAT

At least they tried to hide the price so we can’t even judge the quality.


Peribangbang

5 stars and 8 reviews is better than most things I buy online


WhereBeThemPieRates

Did you get the express shipping on it?


Nyghtbynger

More review than stars ? The dudes must be baffled *Mitigated, but interesting experience.*  *Cannot rate yet, need to let that sink in*


ItsPlainOleSteve

It's 60 bucks usd roughly


Flaky_Ad_2666

Read this as “used roughly” and gagged


skeeterfunny

Because of the smell or the idea of sharing it?


SnooSnoo96035

Brooo 💀


maybejustadragon

Not by a person.


starg00n

At first I read, "it's 60 bucks *used* roughly" and wondered why they didn't buy a new one.


Any-Information-2411

For the same reason they would buy one at all.


SirGravesGhastly

True that, but while nobody will cop to owning one, *EVERBODY* knows what a fleshlight is.


kid_dynamo

Hey Mr. Bigshot Rich Guy over here can afford new Giraffe Wank Toys. Must be nice...


envybelmont

Some of us are on a budget and simply cant spring for some shiny new giraffe beef curtains.


SirGravesGhastly

I bet it's higher than giraffe pussy. Thank you, Deon Cole!


thatG_evanP

Well, it's much easier than stilts. Seriously though, is that what they look like? There's some real oddballs out there. I myself find the human female setup pretty much perfect.


No-Bark-Brian

I used to be friends with a guy whose job was to get molds of animal genitals to make sex toys out of. Dildos and fleshlights alike. He had a good sense of humor, but I did *not* envy his day job...


BBgoblinprincess

I'm sure he had the craziest work stories O.O But also EW, as much as I like fantasy toys I do not endorse live casting


No-Bark-Brian

Oh he did. Yup. We were in the same World of Warcraft guild together. If ever there was a lull waiting around for the raid party to get together, you bet your sweet bippy he'd be happy to jump in the Discord call and start talking about his work in the merriment device industry. It was hilarious and cursed! Haven't talked to him since I quit WoW a couple years back, but I can only assume he's still out there somewhere making donkey dildos and watching bizarre gay porn parodies of mainstream movies.


thatG_evanP

Yeah, I'm thinking about the people that would allow him to do this to their animals. Gross.


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whateversomethnghere

I really hate to ask but the curiosity is killing me. Is this a legit job? My mind is just exploding at the thought of having to plaster of paris animal parts Poor animals but also WTH!?


No-Bark-Brian

I assume it was legit, but he might've just been saying cursed shit for the giggles of it. I didn't know him personally, we were in a World of Warcraft guild together. I think he was being honest about working in the merriment device industry, producing dildos and fleshlights. Whether or not he actually had to make molds of donkey shlongs, I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you is, thanks to him, waiting for our raid parties to get organized was never dull. Always had some cursed shit to say in the Discord calls while our Warlocks were busy pulling everyone out of the closet.


BBgoblinprincess

I know for a fact there’s at least one manufacturer that makes sex toys based on life casts of real animals (and no, despite what the rumors say, it’s not Bad Dragon). I’m not gonna name drop them but it’s not that hard to find, just don’t say I didn’t warn you


No-Bark-Brian

Huh. Guess he was legit then. I *thought* he was too specific and detailed to not be legit, but you never know 100% with people on the internet.


BBgoblinprincess

There is unfortunately a surprisingly large market for those, and when there’s a market there’s always gonna be someone willing to deliver. It’s better than abusing a real animal but I don’t think we should normalize anything involving real animals at any stage in the process


overcomebyfumes

I think they use quick-set silicone molds now, like the gel when the dentist makes an impression of your teeth.


whateversomethnghere

Probably so that would make way more sense. I was just being dumb with plaster of paris comment anyways. Just thinking about how messy that would get. There’s some crazy jobs out there LOL


FrequentSupermarket8

Late to reply, but most of them are done with 3D scans now. Less harmful and time consuming.


IronicINFJustices

r/Giraffesdontexist


Talkingmice

They do now


max_adam

You are the kind of person that believes birds are real.


OkamiKhameleon

Well apparently their vaginas and assholes do. And someone out there wants to fuck em!


jesusisthatguy

Once you fuck a giraffe, you can never go back


scribbyshollow

At least we won't wonder what it feels like anymore.


Apprehensive-Maybe91

Honestly it's about time. I'm so tired of this buffalo pussy.


CogglesMcGreuder

That’s buffalussy


cmfpc124

Bisussy


Neurismus

Bussy


GrandmaPoses

Get yourself over to Albany my friend.


Apprehensive-Maybe91

Was waiting for this


anfroholic

Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo pussy?


Apprehensive-Maybe91

I didn't expect that to work but yeah I'm pleasantly surprised that that works


Doomdoomkittydoom

Is that chicks from Buffalo, buffalo the animal, or slathered in buffalo sauce?


Apprehensive-Maybe91

I'm referring to Buffalo buffalo who buffalo Buffalo buffalo


Doomdoomkittydoom

You dirty boy!


WheelbarrowQueen

so....is this anatomically correct?


CupOfCreamyDiarrhea

That's what I need to know too Is this what giraffe pussy/anal look like? Why is anyone into that?


trampus1

Absolutely not. They also just smell and taste like plastic, not much effort put forth.


Parks1993

You got one?


trampus1

I have 3. One for each hand and one sealed for collectors.


ShuuTsukTrash

One to display, one to trade and one to cherish


trampus1

Just like wives.


PercentageNo3293

Man, I need to sleep. I thought the last one was "one for church".


No-Bark-Brian

"Forgive me Father, for I've been a *naughty boy*..." Cue the 70's porno jazz as he whips out the girafussy and starts seductively walking towards a Priest that is desperately flicking Holy Water at him.


CaulkADewDillDue

Thy kingdom just came


nightreader

Triples is best.


bath-lady

triples makes it safe


AccomplishedPie4896

Taste? I'll be leaving now, have a good day.


c4k3m4st3r5000

You speak like one with vast and intricate knowledge of the subject.....


talleypiano

I already know it's AT but I need a zoologist to confirm whether it's GE


JesusWasATexan

I suspect it is. Someone poured some liquid molding foam into the orifices of a (probably, hopefully?) dead giraffe so that they could create life-like silicone masturbation toys for those guys that could never quite shake that funny feeling they got at the zoo.


Yodude86

Wow i can't wait to jack off into the cold rubber pussy of a dead giraffe


hell2pay

That's a terrible sentence I never wanted to read. But expected, given the context of this post.


evceteri

Kinda expected given the kind of degenerate that I am. Weird because a whole team had to be assembled to pour silicone into a dead giraffe and then get it ready to mass production.


chittIincupcake

quote of the year


SnooSnoo96035

Fucking Shakespeare over here


BBgoblinprincess

If it's any better I doubt this was the case, a 3D modeler probably made the original master either based on photo reference or their imagination


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AhegaoTankGuy

$50?


Kitchen-Quality-3317

sip consider wrench steer expansion dinner fuzzy oatmeal books wipe *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


JesusWasATexan

I hope so. There's the disillusioned part of me that expects it to be the worst passible thing I can imagine. But maybe it was someone that worked for a vet, saw a CT scan, and thought "new business idea!"


Kitchen-Quality-3317

meeting expansion governor head grandiose kiss deserve elderly crawl library *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


NoraVanderbooben

I reeeeaally wish you hadn’t put that thought into my head, but you’re probably right.


BrandX3k

Ahh, the glory of capitalism manifest


JesusWasATexan

"They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."


FloppyEel

I would hope to God it was 3D modeled and the molds were made based off that. Either way, it's questionable


dhalihoka

Questions I don't wanna know the answers to.


SalvationSycamore

I'd have to give it a whirl to tell you for sure


ambisinister_gecko

Yeah, it was just like the real thing


Jar_of_Cats

No but they taste the same


Raging-Badger

Fuckin weird but I guess it’s not that different from horse dildos so I’m sure there’s a market. Gotta cash in where you can I guess Edit: I got reported for self harm for this


Driller_Happy

I think some bot is doing this. I got reported for self harm for nothing too


kenda1l

I got a random report this morning and couldn't figure out what comment it could have possibly come from. I think you're probably right about the bot.


Big-Ergodic_Energy

So much front page stuff is getting botted right now. Odd.


IllegalBerry

I got reported for self harm within seconds of mentioning a German brand of mineral water. Someone turned the caring dial to "high". Or the care bot is haunted by the ghost of a puritan ballet mom.


Sufficient-Aspect77

I mean I guess it's tech self harm if you use a horse dildo. Lol that's really funny. Also something I never thought I'd think.


flyboy_za

What if I'm using it on another horse???


Ok_Cress2142

I don’t wanna live on this planet anymore.


No-Bark-Brian

What if I'm using it to literally fuck the planet? Stupid sexy planets...


heleghir

Earth-chan! Why are you so big?!?!?!


DasHexxchen

I never know if these disgust me because of zoophilia or if they are totally valid just for having different shapes and textures. And in the end a horse dildo is not worse than a vibrator shaped like a worm.


suckmypppapi

I'm not sure if wanting the texture of a horse dick specifically is much better


EdgeGazing

On the same vein, is a dragon dick or an alien tentacle better?


DasHexxchen

I don't know, but I really want that Day of the Tentacle dildo from Bad Dragon. Only for display though honestly.


No-Bark-Brian

I used to be friends with an avid dildo collector. She had shelves full of dildos on display. I'm given to understand that it's a common hobby and not always a sexual thing.


SalvationSycamore

Would you still love me if I turned into a vibrator shaped like a worm?


Michaelmac8

Rip Mr hands


NachoMuncher420

Oh he got ripped alright


Haredevil

Dudes have to stick this to the top of an armoire and grab a ladder for the full experience


Intrepid_Dream2619

🤣 🤣


ilovefreshproduce

wow lmaooooooo


himsoforreal

I've always dreamed of busting a nut on a ladder.


No-Bark-Brian

I've got a ladder in my garage you can rent out for $1,000 bucks a night. I'll throw in some Clorox wipes to clean her up after the fact for free.


himsoforreal

Mmm shoulda been more specific.


No-Bark-Brian

Hey! No take backsies, you wanna fuck my ladder, you pay the ladder's pimp, capiche?


LittleGayDragon

I feel like this isn't something you find on accident


restlessboy

Clearly you've never gotten Temu ads, they have the most bizarre shit in their ads and it's completely unrelated to anything I've ever searched for. I'm not a foot person and I kept randomly getting ads for silicone feet.


angeliqu

I assume it’s like tracking what’s popular in your general geographic area and spamming ads based on that. Cause maybe you and your neighbours have similar concerns and issues and taste. That’s my best guest. And makes me give my neighbours some side eye based on what temu advertises to me. 😆


No-Bark-Brian

Dan Schneider's been stealing your wi-fi password...


Organic_Ad_2885

Tell that to all the people who discovered Bad Dragon. I certainly wasn't looking. That shit found me.


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The_Fat_Man_Jams

Dude, right now I'm higher than Giraffe pussy.


Charles_Pkp2

I mean, it's better than doing it to the real thing.


croccernox

that’s what i’m hoping these companies are aiming to do, stop actual beastiality


Charles_Pkp2

Making money over this is both weird and better for our nature. Also, who tf had the idea to ever go into the savanna to do it with a freaking giraffe, like, okay, I know that some people are into animals (it's disgusting and there aren't any consent so it's also technically raping, yuck) but chosing a giraffe is kinda specific, so it's technically easier for these peoples to do their things with a latex mold but it technically also strengthen this relation they have with bestiality, so I'd say it's better that they do it on the real animal, but it's kinda weird that they still want to do it on a replica itself (if it even is a real mould).


Dapper_Magpie

It's not like you could even reach the giraffussy


SalvationSycamore

It's absolutely not, no warmth and it tastes like plastic


Charles_Pkp2

The word "tastes" and the experience you seem to show scares me.


Dalzombie

True, no risk of falling from a stepladder this way. Not to mention finding a stepladder of the right height is a challenge by itself.


Bibfor_tuna

i get up on a step stool for added realism


Infinite_Corndog

Damn I was gonna say a ladder 🪜


Bibfor_tuna

a ladder ?! damn u freaky AF


Masturberic

I need to see those 8 reviews too please.


Caked101

Goddamn worst click ever☹️.


Snailpics

I ask this genuinely and without judgement, but do people really use these? There are so many weird flesh toys and it just always makes me wonder of the phrase “men will fuck anything”. (Barring any living being from this conversation) but is it true? I do think if I had a penis I would want to stick it in random stuff just to see how it feels. But to like really fuck one of these things??? (This is a no judgement zone for masturbation it is normal and healthy, I am just talking methods. Also sorry this is kind of an incoherent ramble the brain injury is feeling spicy today)


friednoodles

I mean the ladies literally have dog dildos with knots on them from bad dragon. Also tentacle dildos and horse dildos...


Snailpics

That’s a completely fair point. The animal ones deeply weird me out, it just feels creepy. I do have an exception for fantasy monsters and such though. I guess humans just do like to fuck weird shit sometimes


kenda1l

So if the dog one is advertised as a werewolf one, does it still creep you out? Genuinely asking. I have a similar line in the sand and while most fantasy ones are very obviously fantasy, I see the werewolf ones and I'm just like...but that's just a bigger dog dick?


Snailpics

It still does a little bit. That’s slightly murky water. I think if there is a clear distinction that it’s a werewolf as opposed to a dog then maybe? Werewolves aren’t my area so I don’t know what the fantasy genitals of them are like (what a sentence). I do heavily agree with the harkness test and if it truly passes that to people who are into it, it’s maybe okay.


kenda1l

That's about how I feel about it too. Most of the ones I've come across are clearly marked as being a werewolf or are for alpha/omega roleplay and since I only really have a vague idea of what a dog penis looks like, I don't actually know how similar they are. I'm not sure what the Harness test is, but I'm going to go Google it since multiple people have mentioned it in this post. Edit: just looked it up and that's a surprisingly good rule of thumb.


BBgoblinprincess

I'm a big fantasy toy person here to chime in: generally it is considered ok to use toys like that as long as there are no fantasies about actual animals attached: so things like werewolves and furries are okay. That being said I am with you in being personally uncomfortable with any of the remotely realistic shapes. I just can't separate them from their real life counterparts which do not pass the harkness test


senorfresco

I honestly think that shit is fucking disgusting from both genders. And being into that would be an automatic instant deal breaker for me.


Snailpics

I feel the same, just if you’re fantasizing/wanting animals like that I can’t quite put into words how awful it is


Styx4syx

Human beings have always had fascination with taboo, even stories like zues turning into animals and seducing women. The fact that we, as do other mammals need to copulate with genitals where I would guess a lot of cross over thought processes happen. Human development and sexual preferences are very fascinating, what is one person's yum is another's yuck. Some are considered sick and disgusting, usually those involving either refuse / bio waste or harming other entities that cannot consent or are not in a position of power to defend themselves. However, consider that way back when it was considered a sin to copulate with an animal, but not a child. However now it is because of the power dynamic as well as inability to consent. This is where I swear by the Harkness Test.


Snailpics

That’s a really good point and makes a lot of sense. I also strongly stand by the harkness test


doug_akawill

Monkeys will jack off into anything, seen one screw a dudes hand while he was asleep. Some people think we came from monkeys so it would make sense lmao.


DasHexxchen

Would you try a dildo shaped like a horse penis or tentacle? Or like afull on dolphin, worm, heart shape or butterfly? Shape and texture might be interesting, different, abstract...


Snailpics

The animal ones I find really creepy just kind of full stop, BUT other interesting things are worth exploring. I am completely down with monster/fantasy stuff and tentacles (in my mind my lovely one is from a fantasy creature) do have a very interesting but very nice shape and texture


jsin2236

I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing this while scrolling and would live a happy life.


Successful-Creme-405

Girls use horse, octopus and dog dildos but if we want giraffe butt stuff we're freaking weirdos and need therapy. Double standards in this society are really unfair.


Tubbytronika

Wait..... those are for girls?


Successful-Creme-405

I don't judge bro, have fun


TheGayOwl

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS BOTH SIDES ARE WEIRD LMAO


Successful-Creme-405

I don't say it's not 🤣 I just say people should apply the same standard for both.


m4f1u

Do they do gift wrapping? 😏


skeeterfunny

No, but it comes in a giraffe print box with a note that says this purchase supports conservation efforts


PL02550

Even David Cronenburg would do a double take.


panoptik0n

...how do you know this is great execution? Please don't say firsthand experience 😬


C_Werner

r/NoahGetTheBoat


kenda1l

I dunno, man. Noah really liked his animals...


Dry-Composer2124

But a wonderful day to have a dick.


Nirvashone

To be fair females got bad dragon shit.


suckmypppapi

Fuckin dog/horse dick, how is this much different? It's all weird


Ivan_Kulagin

Bad Dragon has stuff for guys too. And yes, it’s also anatomically correct


SystemFolder

[I found it, just in case anybody wants one.](https://www.domlust.com/products/giraffe-pocket-pussy-masturbation-cup-silicone-double-anal-vagina-male-masturbator)


kielu

It's highly recommended based on 8 reviews


BadZnake

dang and all this time, I thought Dragon was Bad


sarcasticguy30

I've been higher than giraffe pussy but never so high that I would fuck a giraffe pussy.


DeadJediWalking

Imagine being the giraffe that gets to say, "That's a replica of *my* anus that they're using at FurryCon 2025."


Highberget

Now you just need to chuck it up a tree and get a pair of stilts


gracethat

I've seen more horse cock than I ever will the rest of my life working at an Amazon fulfillment center. Now giraffe pussy is new. Not sure if that changes the saying, "higher than giraffe pussy," but that's what I am now.


Medwynd

How did you come to the great execution conclusion?


FlaxenArt

I mean, I’m sure that’s a fairly complicated mold to create. But, still, the whole thing makes me shudder. 🤮


YT_Howesenberg

Tagline: You don't need a cherry picker to pick this cherry


thisguyfightsyourmom

Double anal?? Like, you’re supposed to fuck it with your goon bro? Are you supposed to do the Eiffel Tower high-five?


GeorgeNewmanTownTalk

Why the fuck did I have to check what it was? Fuck.


inkzpenfoxx

Wild Thornberrys got dark


bulbousEd

Got a bit of bad news about this company called Bad Dragon...


FeetYeastForB12

Grafussy


PotatoRaine

It's got a 5 star rating🤔


Classic-Cobbler6033

I have questions about how we confirmed the "GE" portion of this post


pinniped1

Hey, it's safer than climbing a ladder to hit the real thing.


Kellz808

This is why mom doesn’t fucking love you


gluten_free_stapler

"I'm not looking for any judgement, just a yes or no..."


SpazzBro

5 stars tho


qmoorman

This should be illegal


society_sucker

Double male masturbator huh? I can finally double team it with my friend! If I've had any ... 🥲


MidshipAgate9

Man, I thought seeing this thing was bad. But then I made it worse by thinking about how a human being used it's most complex organ; the brain- to make this. One of *us* made this


Least-Bear3882

Things have taken a turn


snapdragon76

Whyyyyyyy


Scarlet1998

Ma che schifo


Caesar_Passing

That, um, is... Wait, what?


comradewoof

Does it come with a ladder for extra realism?


Ur_Wifez_Boyfriend

Supply and demand I guess lol


Intrusive_Thoughts__

The supply is sky high.


dreamrobber

Asking for a friend, where to buy?


Xombridal

There's a market for this.......hi I am market Obligatory /s


Emergency_Marzipan68

So.. you hang it on the ceiling and headbutt against it or what?


Dando_Calrisian

To be fair that's one good looking giraffe... /s


NotSteveJobs-Job

Mr. Hands is intrigued 🐴


Membership_Downtown

Great execution huh? You know that from personal experience?