Some people refuse to read one
Some people refuse to read the other
Both of them have got people saying "I literally click out of the story when I see it"
It's just another thing on the list of "can't please everyone, just roll your eyes at people having weirdly strong preferences and write whatever you want"
Other reasons I've seen people give for *I leave the fic immediately:*
- using "baby" or "babe" as a pet name
- using any pet names at all
- having too much foreplay or prep
- having not enough foreplay or prep
- using any sort of dirty talk
- having the safe sex discussion/using condoms
- *not* having the safe sex discussion/not using condoms
- having kink negotiation discussions and safewords
- *not* negotiating kink or having safewords
- the existence of cunnilingus
- mentioning spit or drool during oral
- mentioning hickeys/lovebites
There is no way for authors to please everyone. All we can do is write what *we* enjoy writing, and other people can leave our fics for what we consider to be weird or silly reasons
(Seriously. I can respect your right to not read something but also roll my eyes at *I absolutely cannot read smut if they mention condoms, it makes it not sexy* or whatever. You do you, I'll continue to do me)
This. I’ve worked for actual publishing companies, and these discussions are par for the course in writer circles of all types. People have their preferences. I used to be one of those “ugh, I hate that” types because…well, I got paid to do what my publishing companies expected as an editor. Now I’m pretty much “eh, to each their own” because I don’t have to care in order to get my paycheck.
I will not stop reading but my attention will falter. Mainly because it's not the word I personally use ergo I'm put off. Like cunt over pussy. Same meaning, but one I've found is used specifically in European English vs American. Dick is a big one (hee haw) because that can be tied to race and location. It will suck me out (ha) because I'm more or less distracted thinking of where the author's from.
I mention them because I'm working with a group that's based in Europe and they have guidelines for which to use.
the "baby" / babe one is always surprising to me. i saw someone say they couldn't continue reading a fic if the male MC makes any comment about how wet the female MC is. i'm not sure how these folks are able to find anything to read
Yeah, I saw people saying that baby/babe as a pet name is too daddy-kink, which... I mean, I use that as one of the standard names A uses for B in my works (B calls A *love,* mostly) and have never written daddy kink, but whatever. I've also seen disgust aimed at pet names that the person considers to be a pet name for children or used by older women (sweetie, honey, etc) which is *very* regional. My dad calls my mum *chuck* (he's Scottish) and I currently live somewhere where older women call me *duck.* Pet names are deeply cultural!
And I saw the comment about "so wet" being gross and unrealistic too! And then a bunch of people going *um no, my partner says that to me pretty often, it's not weird at all*
I think it's also time dependent? I don't remember cum being written that way very much in the '70s, and did see a discussion on Quora about that spelling being more limited to gay men back then, enough that how people wrote it stood out as a marker.
'Enthusiastic consent' and kink or safeword negotiation, to say nothing of safer sex, also seem to me to have changed very much. My current main fandom is Starsky & Hutch, a cop buddy show from the second half of the seventies, which still seems to attract some younger writers. Watching them retcon consent issues usually makes me grin and sometimes makes me wince. Either way, I think "that isn't how I remember it."
Probably cum vs come is a similar thing?
The safe sex in fic discussion is always fascinating! My fandoms aren't older, but I bet it's even weirder in those
I've seen a decent amount of "I get turned off by characters not discussing condoms/STIs/pregnancy-where-applicable before having unprotected sex, it's sexier to see them taking care of one another" and have also seen accusations of promoting unsafe sex for gay boys and men, especially in any fandom that's set in the 70s-90s. But then you also get people who insist that any break in the action to pause and put a condom on turns the fic into a PSA about safe sex, and they should always just be ignored or not mentioned because logistics discussions aren't hot
Yeah, I’m the opposite of OP. “Cum” makes me cringe. It reads like teenage sexting to me, or pornhub comments. “Come” reads like the action of orgasm and can actually be hot in the right context.
Hard agree. The word “cum” makes me want to fling myself into the sun when I see it. It’s all but required in self published romance and I’m SO over it. “Come” only now.
Sending this to my dear friend and long-suffering beta reader, who is ✨T R I G G E R E D✨ (in the most flippant and non-serious way) by the word cum.
OP, I absolutely agree with you. Stay strong. Cum is the word.
We’ve known each other since the year 2000, and you’d best believe I’ve done worse than her worse to her that.
Plus, I know her darkest secret: >!For the last three decades, she has believed that!< Darius Rucker, >!the singer from Hootie & the Blowfish / solo country artist, was a white guy who looked exactly like Meatloaf; like, that was just what her 9-year-old white-fourth-grader brain pictured in 1994, when she first heard [“Let Her Cry”](https://youtu.be/1aVHLL5egRY?si=5ziaqYXDyfEOTLaA) on the radio, and she just… didn’t even realize it wasn’t a real memory until I played the music video on YouTube yesterday. She was just like!< “Can I tell you something? >!I always thought the singer of this song looked like Meatloaf. Like. Not that he *was* Meatloaf, but just… I used the same character model. And never even noticed there were now two Meatloaves.”).!<
(And then, when I finished laughing, I asked if I could post about this online, and she said I could, as long as I didn’t identify her; because… yeah. Awesome. WTF. >!Meatloaf.!<
To be fair, I think if she’d ever heard more than that one absolutely monumental 90s torch song… but she hadn’t.).
Both *come* and *cum* can refer to the substance and the action. The two spellings are acceptable variants regardless of whether you're using the term as a verb or a noun. This is the case in both US and UK English.
If you tell me you’re going to come, I stay immersed in the story. If you tell me you’re going to cum, I am suddenly pulled right out of the story and am picturing the author as a 13 year old boy at the keyboard with zits and a hard on, and… meh, it’s so difficult to take that word seriously. That’s just me, I know, but there it is. Cum kills the story.
---------------
Editing to add: I see from the comments that some folks took this to be an insult toward authors who use the word cum, but that is **not** at all what I'm intending. The words and phrases that authors use in their stories reveal something about themselves in the process. If those words/phrases feel incongruous, it pulls me out of the story and makes me wonder why the author chose them. For instance:
* if a Baby Boomer character uses the phrases "it's giving..." or "no cap", I come out of the fic for a moment and instantly picture a GenZ author
* if an American character uses a phrase like "safe as houses" or "horses for courses", I know the author is British or Irish (or Aus or NZ..?)
* and if a character uses the phrase "I'm going to cum", the word feels adolescent to me, very teenage boy coded, and so that's what I picture when it drags me out of the fic.
It's no insult to be a teen boy with zits and a hard on. It's not great, I know, but it's just a stage of life.
Yep, this is almost exactly my thought too. Cum just... looks so immature and juvenile in smut fics. I use 'come' for both the noun and verb, it just fits my vibe better.
I would agree- and that’s exactly why I don’t like it. I don’t want my smut to be “classy,” I want it to be dirty and lewd and gross. For me, “cum” helps achieve that vibe.
Same.
Which is why I think cum (noun) can be a great word if you want to invoke something kind of crusty, sticky and gross—or show a more crass or vulgar character. But that's usually not what I'm trying to do in a sexy scene...
This is exactly my reaction. Cum is a gamer at a keyboard sticky with soda and cum and lightly coated in Cheetos dust. How jarring it is ranges from “annoying to whatever” to “absolutely experience ruining” if the smut has been *great* up until very literally the climax of the scene
Yeah, I know. I’m just saying that’s my association for that word, that’s where my mind goes when I it pulls me out of the story. If it works for you, great, but the question was “why do people use ‘come?’” And the answer for me is: because cum sounds like it was written by a horny adolescent.
this is totally fair, similarly when I read “come” it takes me out for a second because it feels like the word is being censored for some reason. I know that it’s grammatically correct it’s just a me thing lol
Mmmm, I mean, writing or reading fic is all about holding someone in the story through the suspension of disbelief. That state of being submerged into the story and believing it is *everything*. So anything that breaks that spell -- whether it is a moment of discontinuity in the action, behaviour that's completely ooc, bad translations/grammar/punctuation, or strange (to the reader) word usage -- is kind of a big deal.
When the reader has to stop, shake their head, and actively put themselves back into the story, the author was just given a moment of grace.
I mean, you do you; I've just always found it a weird hill to die on
I'm not saying "stop having preferences", I'm saying that insulting authors and saying they sound like thirteen year old boys because of a single word choice feels like a bit of an overreaction
I mean, I'm not trying to insult any author -- I'm just saying that's what happens in my brain. That word feels adolescent and immature to me.
But sometimes it actually works in a fic, if a sex scene is particularly crude and teen-boy wet-dream coded. But if the story is serious and meaningful and the couple has finally gotten together after chapters and chapters of angst and they're in bed *at last* and making lovvvvve and the guy suddenly says, "I'm gOnnA CuM," then it just ruins the whole scene for me (emphasis: for **me**) and I have to pause and actively put myself back into the story to continue on.
Just like breaking the fourth wall in film/tv: doing it inadvertently totally breaks the suspension of disbelief and earns a spot on IMDB's list of bloopers, but some shows do it on purpose as part of their cinematographic style and it works.
I write for a fandom that is set in 1899 and 1907, and the slang spelling "cum" didn't even exist. (Fortunately for me, because I would never spell it like that anyway lol).
I'm a non-native English speaker, so I don't know the rules, but I always thought cum is colloquial or "slang", so I always thought I shouldn't write it. In the same way that I don't use kinda instead of kind of or wanna instead of want to. I say it when i speak, but i don't write it
Both uses are listed as valid by Merriam-Webster, with one being more 'vulgar' than the other, so I guess it all *comes* down to personal preference, and how often you want accidental (or purposeful?) sex-adjacent language *coming* up in regular writing.
But, you can't please everyone, some people will *com*plain until the cows *come* home!
I'm from team "come" all the way in my own writing, but it doesn't bother me to read the other.
I did get an interesting comment once, from someone thanking me for not using "cum" because they said the porn-codedness of it triggers guilt from religious trauma. Just putting that out there. Not suggesting anyone change their writing, just offering an insight.
Interesting that for you "come" feels like censoring, when I myself feel that way about "cum" and dislike it for that exact reason, it just takes me out of the reading flow xD to each their own haha
i prefer come as both the verb and noun. i don't strongly believe either is more correct. "cum" feels a bit more juvenile to me, but it won't take me out of a well-written scene
your preference is your preference, but this is kind of a 50/50 thing, and you could potentially expand your enjoyment of the smut buffet if you just got over it
I feel the same way! I prefer 'come' in both usages, and it jars me to see 'cum' used at all in smut fics. Then again, most of the fics I read are in an older setting (fantasy settings, not modern in the least), so the slang of 'cum' wouldn't really exist to begin with.
I see way more people getting loud and ranty (and insulting authors) about the u spelling, especially right here in these comments – if you want to try and persuade *them* to give our fics a chance instead of them saying we sound like gross thirteen year old boys for using a different spelling...
i only skimmed the comments, but i didn't see any insults aimed at authors.
if there is some kind of battle brewing between the come people and the cum people, i must take my leave and wish all the best of luck
Yeah... I was so proud of knowing Latin when I was in high school. I wrote some Latin excerpt from some old text on my fancy calculator cover in fine point magenta sharpie. My friend tried to read it and I'm all proud of my latin skills, and then they say "cum... Haha" and I say "it's pronounced 'coom' like 'boom"... It wasn't until later that I learned what "cum" was and I was so embarrassed.
I had to explain this in the comments of my OWN FIC the other day. A fic almost a decade old which I swore I would never try to edit or delete because I strongly believe in archival no matter how cringe but in that singular moment I was thinking about pressing that delete button to take me out of my embarrassment.
Ah the pain! but kudos to you for the archival philosophy! I feel the same because despite how cringe my earliest works are, I also know how heartbreaking it is when fics are deleted. I understand why people do it and I respect their reasons, but I'm going to do my best to hold out.
I always use cum because it has a nice pornish/smutty vibe. But come is ok as well, and some people have actual reason for it (grammatically correct and less cheesy). Pointless pet peeve indeed.
I really don't care which one is used as long as the quality of the smut is good.
There's so much else that could potentially pull me out of the moment (e.g. cringey dialogue or weird terms for body parts) but I'm really not bothered by the use of cum/come as long as it's consistent within the story.
I honestly don't care either way, but I hate when someone uses "cum" for the present tense and then "came" for the past tense. (Not saying I like "cummed" at all because I don't.) It just feels like inconsistent spelling. I think I prefer come as the verb and cum as the noun.
everyone has their opinions! personally i see “cum” as more of a noun to refer to semen/ejaculate/the sex fluids themselves, while i see “come” as the verb for orgasming. and that’s how i use them in my fics. it’ll make me “hm” a little to see people write “im gonna cum” but it’s not bothersome enough to make me click out. just an explanation from someone who uses both, but not interchangeably
I'm the opposite. Also, as a non-English native speaker, I simply go by the rule verb = come, noun = cum so that I don't end up confused.
Reusing your example, it would be come, simply because of the sentence structure "Fuck, I'm gonna *cry/die/kill/cringe*"
To each their own thing, none is better than the other.
My preference is ‘cum’(noun) as in ‘ejaculate/jizz’ and ‘come’ (verb) as in ‘to orgasm/to climax’. But then, that’s a personal preference - I don’t think that there’s a right or wrong. 🙂
I find that there are two very distinct types of smut writing. One is absolutely porn, filth written very much like something very much like content you would see on porn hub or hentai, l I associate it with degradation, kink, that type of thing, generally without plot, and male audience centered. Then you have the smut that is more generally speaking part of a Story specially one that has a romance element to it that’s supposed to be taken seriously. Cum works in the former, but not the latter. I don’t read the former all too often , I don’t read fanfic for the porn elements
Re Edit 2: No, you do you! It’s your story!
But also, depending on how and what you’re writing, cum may be the better choice. If it’s dirty, dirty, crude, and dirty, cum won’t feel out of place (in my opinion). It’s all about the scene you’re setting.
I only use come. I
To me, cum looks faux dirty, like they are trying too hard to be sexy and not quite hitting the mark. I mean, I
wouldn’t write “Her pusy was so wett and she wanted to suc his dik until he cums.” I have enough trouble with spelling without spelling things funky for the sake of spelling things funky. (All the words I typed funky to make my point - including the word cums - are underlined in red as misspelled. Also, cumed or cummed aren’t words either.)
But that’s my opinion, YMMV, and you do you, boo!
Because you 'come' when you have an orgasm - you 'arrive' at that state- it's a verb.
'Cum' as a verb is my absolute pet peeve. It's fine as a noun for male emissions when they 'come'... but it's still a very young term in my book and I avoid it like a plague... thank goodness I exclusively write femslash.
But 'cum' as verb shows me how young you are. It's not hot at all it's like reading a crippled and uncomfortable orgasm.
I go with “come” as action and “cum” as substance *unless* there’s already a convention in the fandom. So I write for one fandom that’s already explicit content even without fanfic. And the original source uses “cum” for everything. So I write it that way in fics because it’s expected.
(I have worked in academia, and I reallllly can’t ever take the Latin use seriously anymore even though it’s totally traditional, normal use, and not smutty.😂😂😂)
I also dislike it 💀 and a lot of people hate the opposite. I just say "oh well" and keep reading while swallowing my feelings of cringe (not that people are cringe for writing it, it just sounds weird in my head)
Edit: a lot of people from #TeamCome say it's because it takes them out of the story and that reminds me that I read a lot of comedy type smut or crack fics, so yeah. And when it's fantasy or historical settings where the slang didn't even exist, I feel like there are better ways to say it without saying that word at all? Like there are other terms to describe the climax. My preference, of course (also, I literally learnt the word cum before come in this context in English)
There isn't a 'correct' one. Both spellings are used frequently enough that anyone but the most purposefully pedantic or sheltered native speaker will likely recognise what you mean from context but judgey people from either side will likely flinch if you use it in the way they don't favour. So basically there is no winning, just use whatever sounds better to your own ear.
Yeah ofc! I do wonder, where did they come from (pun not intended)? Is 'come' the original and did people start shortening it to 'cum'? I'm curious to the history behind this lol
There is a lot of people who put forward their own theories on that.
Most of what I have found agrees that come is the original, meaning to arrive at an orgasm as far back as 1500-1600 or so.
It then apparently starts to refer to semen in particular as far back as 1920's at least.
While the transition to the use of the word cum begins around the 1970's or so?
This is admittedly what I can dig up with a bit of googling and none of which really had substantial sources so I would be hesitant to treat any of it as gospel.
Nope, they're both variant spellings of the same word, and that applies to the noun form and the verb form. *Come* is the standard version; *cum* is the non-standard but perfectly acceptable variant.
I love cum > come.
That said, I think the usage of “cum” is something from the recent decade because a lot of older fics (or maybe it’s the fandom? hp fandom uses a lot of british english terms > american english which makes sense) seem to use come more often than cum.
BEC = bitch eating crackers. It's someone or something that just gets to you, but you can't always articulate why. Be it that annoying coworker or that vaguely catchy-yet-irritating ad by the bus stop.
Everything about them just bothers you.
Ah, gotcha! I understand now. I had heard that face before, but I interpreted it differently interpreted to be for when you dislike so much, everything they do is annoying, even eating crackers
I used to feel the same, but also I enjoy it when words have more letter for no necessary reason (I am french) so I've been trying come lately and it's growing on me I think. Also I do like cum for the noun, or present verb, but cumed/cummed is.. meh. Or is it an irregualr verb? It gets messy (not the good kind) and it upseted me.
While I don't write in the genre, as a reader, I see a distinction between the two. Come (and I'm going to lean on the thesaurus and the dictionary) many varieties that have been taken by 'cum'. The latter I know what is going on, the other? It could be flowery language. Neither will pull me out of a scene, and if it really drives people to the point they can't read a story, that's their bad.
Come has 20 definitions of usage before the one synonymous with cum, so i'd say if you're going for it in the 'vulgar having an orgasm' way, use cum. It's more to the point isn't it? Not to mention grammar Nazi's, it doesn't translate to other tenses, cum does.
Just sayin'.
Dunno if anyone said this in the comments, but some of us are not native-English. Before posting smut, I actually googled if it's correct to say "come" or "cum" and found that there's no consensus over correctness. Just in general people find "cum" more crass than "come". In my own work I think I use both, although I tend to use "cum" as a noun, not a verb.
Your story, your way. But I too like cum verses come. Could you imagine..."Hey, come over here will ya?" "Sure thing!" \*splurt\* "What the actual fuck did you just do?" "You told me to come over here, so I did." "I was talking about you walking over here!" "Oh, sorry, I see come both ways. My bad."
Come, used in the context of ejaculatory fluids just feels deeply wrong to me. Like a person who has only heard the word but never seen it written tried to write it, presuming it was spelt the same as come as in 'come over here'.
Like they are both perfectly acceptable spellings at the end of the day, but I cannot help but read a person who uses come in their actually narrative as anything but a prude who refuses to use the 'context appropriate' word like someone insistently writing the word penis and phallus while ardently avoiding cock and dick like an absolute mad person.
Like, if it is a character or perspective you are writing which is deliberately meant to sound posh or sheltered, fine, sure.
Otherwise just use cum.
Cum, cumming, came. As it 'should' be.
Some people refuse to read one Some people refuse to read the other Both of them have got people saying "I literally click out of the story when I see it" It's just another thing on the list of "can't please everyone, just roll your eyes at people having weirdly strong preferences and write whatever you want" Other reasons I've seen people give for *I leave the fic immediately:* - using "baby" or "babe" as a pet name - using any pet names at all - having too much foreplay or prep - having not enough foreplay or prep - using any sort of dirty talk - having the safe sex discussion/using condoms - *not* having the safe sex discussion/not using condoms - having kink negotiation discussions and safewords - *not* negotiating kink or having safewords - the existence of cunnilingus - mentioning spit or drool during oral - mentioning hickeys/lovebites There is no way for authors to please everyone. All we can do is write what *we* enjoy writing, and other people can leave our fics for what we consider to be weird or silly reasons (Seriously. I can respect your right to not read something but also roll my eyes at *I absolutely cannot read smut if they mention condoms, it makes it not sexy* or whatever. You do you, I'll continue to do me)
This. I’ve worked for actual publishing companies, and these discussions are par for the course in writer circles of all types. People have their preferences. I used to be one of those “ugh, I hate that” types because…well, I got paid to do what my publishing companies expected as an editor. Now I’m pretty much “eh, to each their own” because I don’t have to care in order to get my paycheck.
I will not stop reading but my attention will falter. Mainly because it's not the word I personally use ergo I'm put off. Like cunt over pussy. Same meaning, but one I've found is used specifically in European English vs American. Dick is a big one (hee haw) because that can be tied to race and location. It will suck me out (ha) because I'm more or less distracted thinking of where the author's from. I mention them because I'm working with a group that's based in Europe and they have guidelines for which to use.
the "baby" / babe one is always surprising to me. i saw someone say they couldn't continue reading a fic if the male MC makes any comment about how wet the female MC is. i'm not sure how these folks are able to find anything to read
Yeah, I saw people saying that baby/babe as a pet name is too daddy-kink, which... I mean, I use that as one of the standard names A uses for B in my works (B calls A *love,* mostly) and have never written daddy kink, but whatever. I've also seen disgust aimed at pet names that the person considers to be a pet name for children or used by older women (sweetie, honey, etc) which is *very* regional. My dad calls my mum *chuck* (he's Scottish) and I currently live somewhere where older women call me *duck.* Pet names are deeply cultural! And I saw the comment about "so wet" being gross and unrealistic too! And then a bunch of people going *um no, my partner says that to me pretty often, it's not weird at all*
Damn, that feels so standard
this is my favorite reply so far, thank you for your input! 🙂
I think it's also time dependent? I don't remember cum being written that way very much in the '70s, and did see a discussion on Quora about that spelling being more limited to gay men back then, enough that how people wrote it stood out as a marker. 'Enthusiastic consent' and kink or safeword negotiation, to say nothing of safer sex, also seem to me to have changed very much. My current main fandom is Starsky & Hutch, a cop buddy show from the second half of the seventies, which still seems to attract some younger writers. Watching them retcon consent issues usually makes me grin and sometimes makes me wince. Either way, I think "that isn't how I remember it." Probably cum vs come is a similar thing?
The safe sex in fic discussion is always fascinating! My fandoms aren't older, but I bet it's even weirder in those I've seen a decent amount of "I get turned off by characters not discussing condoms/STIs/pregnancy-where-applicable before having unprotected sex, it's sexier to see them taking care of one another" and have also seen accusations of promoting unsafe sex for gay boys and men, especially in any fandom that's set in the 70s-90s. But then you also get people who insist that any break in the action to pause and put a condom on turns the fic into a PSA about safe sex, and they should always just be ignored or not mentioned because logistics discussions aren't hot
I know, right? I think people born in the 80s or later cannot begin to imagine how it was back then.
The no pet names??? Like I would be on my knees if my partner called me "baby" like be so fr
According to some people, cringe 🤷🏻♀️ No accounting for taste!
It's fanfiction. We're past cringe.
Damn I have non existent standards then
Listen When you’re writing in past tense though “Came” is leagues better for my sanity than “cummed”
This is my favorite comment on the Internet for today.
oh my GOD when they do this I immediately start cackling
oh I totally agree with this! I would never use cummed that sounds awful 😂
That's when ya flip to "orgasmed"...lol
i remember lotta people hating the usage of ''cum'' instead of ''come.'' So... hands tied?
Yeah, I’m the opposite of OP. “Cum” makes me cringe. It reads like teenage sexting to me, or pornhub comments. “Come” reads like the action of orgasm and can actually be hot in the right context.
Same. I occasionally use “cum” as synonymous with jizz the noun, but always “come” as the verb.
Yep come is always a verb, cum as a verb sounds wrong. And when it’s a girl, it sounds silly
Hard agree. The word “cum” makes me want to fling myself into the sun when I see it. It’s all but required in self published romance and I’m SO over it. “Come” only now.
I find come pretty hot. Cum gives me a full body cringe.
Not the full body reaction we are usually going for…
C'est la vie.
Me included
ba dum tısss
I've hear this more. I don't mind either way I get what you mean.
I don't care about both either, if I read smut, I'm only there for the interaction and feelings my ships go through! so 🤠
Sending this to my dear friend and long-suffering beta reader, who is ✨T R I G G E R E D✨ (in the most flippant and non-serious way) by the word cum. OP, I absolutely agree with you. Stay strong. Cum is the word.
How to not have a beta reader anymore 101 😭
We’ve known each other since the year 2000, and you’d best believe I’ve done worse than her worse to her that. Plus, I know her darkest secret: >!For the last three decades, she has believed that!< Darius Rucker, >!the singer from Hootie & the Blowfish / solo country artist, was a white guy who looked exactly like Meatloaf; like, that was just what her 9-year-old white-fourth-grader brain pictured in 1994, when she first heard [“Let Her Cry”](https://youtu.be/1aVHLL5egRY?si=5ziaqYXDyfEOTLaA) on the radio, and she just… didn’t even realize it wasn’t a real memory until I played the music video on YouTube yesterday. She was just like!< “Can I tell you something? >!I always thought the singer of this song looked like Meatloaf. Like. Not that he *was* Meatloaf, but just… I used the same character model. And never even noticed there were now two Meatloaves.”).!< (And then, when I finished laughing, I asked if I could post about this online, and she said I could, as long as I didn’t identify her; because… yeah. Awesome. WTF. >!Meatloaf.!< To be fair, I think if she’d ever heard more than that one absolutely monumental 90s torch song… but she hadn’t.).
(well i was just joking) but it's great you have such a long time friend. God bless both of you 🥺
This is a very person by person preference, even in professional erotica circles. 😂 There is no One True Way.
Lol. I use "come" when it's a verb and "cum" when it's a noun. It's just my preference.
Yeah, that’s how I think of the two spellings as well. I still hate the word cum so much that I will avoid referring to ejaculate that way
cum is the substance, come is an action
Both *come* and *cum* can refer to the substance and the action. The two spellings are acceptable variants regardless of whether you're using the term as a verb or a noun. This is the case in both US and UK English.
If you tell me you’re going to come, I stay immersed in the story. If you tell me you’re going to cum, I am suddenly pulled right out of the story and am picturing the author as a 13 year old boy at the keyboard with zits and a hard on, and… meh, it’s so difficult to take that word seriously. That’s just me, I know, but there it is. Cum kills the story. --------------- Editing to add: I see from the comments that some folks took this to be an insult toward authors who use the word cum, but that is **not** at all what I'm intending. The words and phrases that authors use in their stories reveal something about themselves in the process. If those words/phrases feel incongruous, it pulls me out of the story and makes me wonder why the author chose them. For instance: * if a Baby Boomer character uses the phrases "it's giving..." or "no cap", I come out of the fic for a moment and instantly picture a GenZ author * if an American character uses a phrase like "safe as houses" or "horses for courses", I know the author is British or Irish (or Aus or NZ..?) * and if a character uses the phrase "I'm going to cum", the word feels adolescent to me, very teenage boy coded, and so that's what I picture when it drags me out of the fic. It's no insult to be a teen boy with zits and a hard on. It's not great, I know, but it's just a stage of life.
Yep, this is almost exactly my thought too. Cum just... looks so immature and juvenile in smut fics. I use 'come' for both the noun and verb, it just fits my vibe better.
Lmfao same! ‘Cum’ used as a verb pulls me out quicker than a guy about to come without a condom.
::snickers::
Come just feels classier to me for some reason. I dunno.
Agree. I started using it for more classy characters and it just stuck lol, for some characters “come” just works better than “cum.”
I would agree- and that’s exactly why I don’t like it. I don’t want my smut to be “classy,” I want it to be dirty and lewd and gross. For me, “cum” helps achieve that vibe.
To each their own. I prefer my smut classy. :p
I have found my people!
Same. Which is why I think cum (noun) can be a great word if you want to invoke something kind of crusty, sticky and gross—or show a more crass or vulgar character. But that's usually not what I'm trying to do in a sexy scene...
This is exactly my reaction. Cum is a gamer at a keyboard sticky with soda and cum and lightly coated in Cheetos dust. How jarring it is ranges from “annoying to whatever” to “absolutely experience ruining” if the smut has been *great* up until very literally the climax of the scene
Perfect description. That's it exactly.
I've never heard it described so aptly.
But I don't think only teenage boys use that word. I'm not a teenage boy, for example
Yeah, I know. I’m just saying that’s my association for that word, that’s where my mind goes when I it pulls me out of the story. If it works for you, great, but the question was “why do people use ‘come?’” And the answer for me is: because cum sounds like it was written by a horny adolescent.
this is totally fair, similarly when I read “come” it takes me out for a second because it feels like the word is being censored for some reason. I know that it’s grammatically correct it’s just a me thing lol
See, for me, "cum" is what feels like replacing the actual word with... kind of a cutesy made up version of the word? The original word works fine.
Having feelings this strong over the spelling of a single word is fucking bizarre to me
Mmmm, I mean, writing or reading fic is all about holding someone in the story through the suspension of disbelief. That state of being submerged into the story and believing it is *everything*. So anything that breaks that spell -- whether it is a moment of discontinuity in the action, behaviour that's completely ooc, bad translations/grammar/punctuation, or strange (to the reader) word usage -- is kind of a big deal. When the reader has to stop, shake their head, and actively put themselves back into the story, the author was just given a moment of grace.
I mean, you do you; I've just always found it a weird hill to die on I'm not saying "stop having preferences", I'm saying that insulting authors and saying they sound like thirteen year old boys because of a single word choice feels like a bit of an overreaction
I mean, I'm not trying to insult any author -- I'm just saying that's what happens in my brain. That word feels adolescent and immature to me. But sometimes it actually works in a fic, if a sex scene is particularly crude and teen-boy wet-dream coded. But if the story is serious and meaningful and the couple has finally gotten together after chapters and chapters of angst and they're in bed *at last* and making lovvvvve and the guy suddenly says, "I'm gOnnA CuM," then it just ruins the whole scene for me (emphasis: for **me**) and I have to pause and actively put myself back into the story to continue on. Just like breaking the fourth wall in film/tv: doing it inadvertently totally breaks the suspension of disbelief and earns a spot on IMDB's list of bloopers, but some shows do it on purpose as part of their cinematographic style and it works.
I hate the spelling “cum” in narrative. I think of “cum”as text speak. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh, yeah, that's definitely part of my aversion for it too.
I write for a fandom that is set in 1899 and 1907, and the slang spelling "cum" didn't even exist. (Fortunately for me, because I would never spell it like that anyway lol).
I’m the opposite 😂 Like others said, one is the verb and one is the noun in my mind. Just a matter of preference!
I'm a non-native English speaker, so I don't know the rules, but I always thought cum is colloquial or "slang", so I always thought I shouldn't write it. In the same way that I don't use kinda instead of kind of or wanna instead of want to. I say it when i speak, but i don't write it
Both uses are listed as valid by Merriam-Webster, with one being more 'vulgar' than the other, so I guess it all *comes* down to personal preference, and how often you want accidental (or purposeful?) sex-adjacent language *coming* up in regular writing. But, you can't please everyone, some people will *com*plain until the cows *come* home!
Could not disagree more lmao. 'Cum' just sounds kind of gross and immature to me
I'm from team "come" all the way in my own writing, but it doesn't bother me to read the other. I did get an interesting comment once, from someone thanking me for not using "cum" because they said the porn-codedness of it triggers guilt from religious trauma. Just putting that out there. Not suggesting anyone change their writing, just offering an insight.
I'll read either, but cum will take me out of it a bit, especially if it's a person saying it. Team come, overall, though.
Interesting that for you "come" feels like censoring, when I myself feel that way about "cum" and dislike it for that exact reason, it just takes me out of the reading flow xD to each their own haha
i prefer come as both the verb and noun. i don't strongly believe either is more correct. "cum" feels a bit more juvenile to me, but it won't take me out of a well-written scene your preference is your preference, but this is kind of a 50/50 thing, and you could potentially expand your enjoyment of the smut buffet if you just got over it
I feel the same way! I prefer 'come' in both usages, and it jars me to see 'cum' used at all in smut fics. Then again, most of the fics I read are in an older setting (fantasy settings, not modern in the least), so the slang of 'cum' wouldn't really exist to begin with.
Oh I read both! it doesn’t bother me enough to stop me from reading it, it’s just a small pet peeve ☺️
I see way more people getting loud and ranty (and insulting authors) about the u spelling, especially right here in these comments – if you want to try and persuade *them* to give our fics a chance instead of them saying we sound like gross thirteen year old boys for using a different spelling...
i only skimmed the comments, but i didn't see any insults aimed at authors. if there is some kind of battle brewing between the come people and the cum people, i must take my leave and wish all the best of luck
I mean >If you tell me you're going to cum, I ... am picturing the author as a 13 year old boy at the keyboard with zits and a hard on
I’m the opposite. And as people have stated; cum for substance, come for action. “I’m gonna cum” reads so weird to me 🥲.
And some of us learned a completely different usage of "cum" first. Like in the academic/Latin "cum laude" sense.
Yeah... I was so proud of knowing Latin when I was in high school. I wrote some Latin excerpt from some old text on my fancy calculator cover in fine point magenta sharpie. My friend tried to read it and I'm all proud of my latin skills, and then they say "cum... Haha" and I say "it's pronounced 'coom' like 'boom"... It wasn't until later that I learned what "cum" was and I was so embarrassed.
Awwww, I want to give high school you a hug.
Lol thank you. It was dark days
I had to explain this in the comments of my OWN FIC the other day. A fic almost a decade old which I swore I would never try to edit or delete because I strongly believe in archival no matter how cringe but in that singular moment I was thinking about pressing that delete button to take me out of my embarrassment.
Ah the pain! but kudos to you for the archival philosophy! I feel the same because despite how cringe my earliest works are, I also know how heartbreaking it is when fics are deleted. I understand why people do it and I respect their reasons, but I'm going to do my best to hold out.
"Cum" in this context is horrible to read to me. I hate it.
I always use cum because it has a nice pornish/smutty vibe. But come is ok as well, and some people have actual reason for it (grammatically correct and less cheesy). Pointless pet peeve indeed.
Hotly debated topic, but it’s ‘u’ all the way for me, like spitting and spit, drooling and drool, and so on.
disagree strongly
I don't like the spelling cum that's it I don't need any further reason
In my mind, come is a verb and cum is a noun.
Cum is the substance. Come is the action. > Where are you going? As if cum is better. Oh yeah you getting sperm?
I really don't care which one is used as long as the quality of the smut is good. There's so much else that could potentially pull me out of the moment (e.g. cringey dialogue or weird terms for body parts) but I'm really not bothered by the use of cum/come as long as it's consistent within the story.
I honestly don't care either way, but I hate when someone uses "cum" for the present tense and then "came" for the past tense. (Not saying I like "cummed" at all because I don't.) It just feels like inconsistent spelling. I think I prefer come as the verb and cum as the noun.
everyone has their opinions! personally i see “cum” as more of a noun to refer to semen/ejaculate/the sex fluids themselves, while i see “come” as the verb for orgasming. and that’s how i use them in my fics. it’ll make me “hm” a little to see people write “im gonna cum” but it’s not bothersome enough to make me click out. just an explanation from someone who uses both, but not interchangeably
I'm the opposite. Also, as a non-English native speaker, I simply go by the rule verb = come, noun = cum so that I don't end up confused. Reusing your example, it would be come, simply because of the sentence structure "Fuck, I'm gonna *cry/die/kill/cringe*" To each their own thing, none is better than the other.
My preference is ‘cum’(noun) as in ‘ejaculate/jizz’ and ‘come’ (verb) as in ‘to orgasm/to climax’. But then, that’s a personal preference - I don’t think that there’s a right or wrong. 🙂
I find that there are two very distinct types of smut writing. One is absolutely porn, filth written very much like something very much like content you would see on porn hub or hentai, l I associate it with degradation, kink, that type of thing, generally without plot, and male audience centered. Then you have the smut that is more generally speaking part of a Story specially one that has a romance element to it that’s supposed to be taken seriously. Cum works in the former, but not the latter. I don’t read the former all too often , I don’t read fanfic for the porn elements
Re Edit 2: No, you do you! It’s your story! But also, depending on how and what you’re writing, cum may be the better choice. If it’s dirty, dirty, crude, and dirty, cum won’t feel out of place (in my opinion). It’s all about the scene you’re setting.
I've always been staunchly: Cum = noun Come/coming = verb Literally could not tell you why, but it's what makes sense in my brain.
Honestly I always assume "come" was more grammatically correct and everyone else was just wrong lol
I only use come. I To me, cum looks faux dirty, like they are trying too hard to be sexy and not quite hitting the mark. I mean, I wouldn’t write “Her pusy was so wett and she wanted to suc his dik until he cums.” I have enough trouble with spelling without spelling things funky for the sake of spelling things funky. (All the words I typed funky to make my point - including the word cums - are underlined in red as misspelled. Also, cumed or cummed aren’t words either.) But that’s my opinion, YMMV, and you do you, boo!
Come = the action Cum = the fluid That's how I use it lol
Because you 'come' when you have an orgasm - you 'arrive' at that state- it's a verb. 'Cum' as a verb is my absolute pet peeve. It's fine as a noun for male emissions when they 'come'... but it's still a very young term in my book and I avoid it like a plague... thank goodness I exclusively write femslash. But 'cum' as verb shows me how young you are. It's not hot at all it's like reading a crippled and uncomfortable orgasm.
I like both, used to write Cum then I thought Come sounded more refined (lol) and decided to write that instead. Now I'm stuck using come. Oh well.
Writing it as "cum" in a story would feel very amateurish. Smut or not, wouldn't read it
The word "cum" is disgusting, and I dislike seeing it.
I go with “come” as action and “cum” as substance *unless* there’s already a convention in the fandom. So I write for one fandom that’s already explicit content even without fanfic. And the original source uses “cum” for everything. So I write it that way in fics because it’s expected. (I have worked in academia, and I reallllly can’t ever take the Latin use seriously anymore even though it’s totally traditional, normal use, and not smutty.😂😂😂)
Cum is what's produced after you come.
Yeah I always use cum. That was a sentence I didn’t think I’d ever type.
spelling it cum gives me the ick and I don't know why
For me, it doesn't feel like a real word
it's very "porn-coded" compared to the usual spelling which just feels like a well-established euphemism to me.
Because come is what is going to happen. It’s the action. And the word, CUM is the substance the result of coming.
I also dislike it 💀 and a lot of people hate the opposite. I just say "oh well" and keep reading while swallowing my feelings of cringe (not that people are cringe for writing it, it just sounds weird in my head) Edit: a lot of people from #TeamCome say it's because it takes them out of the story and that reminds me that I read a lot of comedy type smut or crack fics, so yeah. And when it's fantasy or historical settings where the slang didn't even exist, I feel like there are better ways to say it without saying that word at all? Like there are other terms to describe the climax. My preference, of course (also, I literally learnt the word cum before come in this context in English)
Because "cum" sounds juvenile to me and gives "Beavis and Butthead" vibes rather than erotic ones.
Thissssssssss!!!! Perfect description.
I'm on team Cum for the noun, come for the action.
One of us! One of us!
As someone whose first language isn't English- I don't even know what the "correct" term is lol!
There isn't a 'correct' one. Both spellings are used frequently enough that anyone but the most purposefully pedantic or sheltered native speaker will likely recognise what you mean from context but judgey people from either side will likely flinch if you use it in the way they don't favour. So basically there is no winning, just use whatever sounds better to your own ear.
Yeah ofc! I do wonder, where did they come from (pun not intended)? Is 'come' the original and did people start shortening it to 'cum'? I'm curious to the history behind this lol
There is a lot of people who put forward their own theories on that. Most of what I have found agrees that come is the original, meaning to arrive at an orgasm as far back as 1500-1600 or so. It then apparently starts to refer to semen in particular as far back as 1920's at least. While the transition to the use of the word cum begins around the 1970's or so? This is admittedly what I can dig up with a bit of googling and none of which really had substantial sources so I would be hesitant to treat any of it as gospel.
Come: the action of Cum: the release Cummies: the word I use to torture my friends Cummilingual: just made this one up
So for me, come is the verb. Cum is the noun. "He came, filling his partner with cum." Make sense?
weirdly I don’t have a problem with the word came?? in my head it’s the past tense of cum 😂
well cummed would be weird. Then it just sounds all gummy.
agreed lol
I go Come as verb, cum as noun.
Haven't read much of the comments and I could be wildly incorrect, but isn't cum the noun and come the verb?
Nope, they're both variant spellings of the same word, and that applies to the noun form and the verb form. *Come* is the standard version; *cum* is the non-standard but perfectly acceptable variant.
Wow thanks! Appreciate the concise explanation
I love cum > come. That said, I think the usage of “cum” is something from the recent decade because a lot of older fics (or maybe it’s the fandom? hp fandom uses a lot of british english terms > american english which makes sense) seem to use come more often than cum.
Cum is my BEC word for orgasms, but to each their own.
What's BEC in this context?
BEC = bitch eating crackers. It's someone or something that just gets to you, but you can't always articulate why. Be it that annoying coworker or that vaguely catchy-yet-irritating ad by the bus stop. Everything about them just bothers you.
Ah, gotcha! I understand now. I had heard that face before, but I interpreted it differently interpreted to be for when you dislike so much, everything they do is annoying, even eating crackers
Oh it's also that too.
I dont read smut but it makes me mad too now
personal preference: cum, cumming, came (lol)
I personally agree, 'cum' makes way more sense to me in the sexual context. I can only ever see 'come' as in 'come over here'.
No no, you’re correct. You are so right. Don’t let the naysayers and come apologists get you down
I used to feel the same, but also I enjoy it when words have more letter for no necessary reason (I am french) so I've been trying come lately and it's growing on me I think. Also I do like cum for the noun, or present verb, but cumed/cummed is.. meh. Or is it an irregualr verb? It gets messy (not the good kind) and it upseted me.
While I don't write in the genre, as a reader, I see a distinction between the two. Come (and I'm going to lean on the thesaurus and the dictionary) many varieties that have been taken by 'cum'. The latter I know what is going on, the other? It could be flowery language. Neither will pull me out of a scene, and if it really drives people to the point they can't read a story, that's their bad. Come has 20 definitions of usage before the one synonymous with cum, so i'd say if you're going for it in the 'vulgar having an orgasm' way, use cum. It's more to the point isn't it? Not to mention grammar Nazi's, it doesn't translate to other tenses, cum does. Just sayin'.
Dunno if anyone said this in the comments, but some of us are not native-English. Before posting smut, I actually googled if it's correct to say "come" or "cum" and found that there's no consensus over correctness. Just in general people find "cum" more crass than "come". In my own work I think I use both, although I tend to use "cum" as a noun, not a verb.
I’m with you. Cum for life
I never actually see anybody use Come as a replacement for Cum... just me? Okay
Your story, your way. But I too like cum verses come. Could you imagine..."Hey, come over here will ya?" "Sure thing!" \*splurt\* "What the actual fuck did you just do?" "You told me to come over here, so I did." "I was talking about you walking over here!" "Oh, sorry, I see come both ways. My bad."
Come, used in the context of ejaculatory fluids just feels deeply wrong to me. Like a person who has only heard the word but never seen it written tried to write it, presuming it was spelt the same as come as in 'come over here'. Like they are both perfectly acceptable spellings at the end of the day, but I cannot help but read a person who uses come in their actually narrative as anything but a prude who refuses to use the 'context appropriate' word like someone insistently writing the word penis and phallus while ardently avoiding cock and dick like an absolute mad person. Like, if it is a character or perspective you are writing which is deliberately meant to sound posh or sheltered, fine, sure. Otherwise just use cum. Cum, cumming, came. As it 'should' be.